Latula was at the top of Mituna's room in Prospit, eyeing her matesprit furtively to see if he had opened his eyes. She had been waiting for a ten minutes now, and so far nothing. Mituna hadn't moved once; it seemed as if he wasn't even breathing.
As the seconds went by, Latula realized she couldn't wait any longer and tried to shake Mituna awake.
"tun4, why won't you w4k3 up?!" she cried. Mituna didn't budge at all. It was as if he wasn't even there, she thought. Latula knew something was wrong, but she wasn't sure what. Every other time she had gone to another part of Prospit and come back, she had seen Mituna's sleeping body peacefully wrapped in the blankets, his position having never changed. Latula kissed her sleeping matesprit with worry.
"why won't you w4k3 up w1th m3?" she asked him. "1s th3r3 som3th1ng hold1ng you b4ck?"
A voice resounded in her head:
No. You're the one who needs to wake up.
"M1tun4?" Latula said, a flash of light blinding her. She shot awake in her recuperacoon. Mituna was still asleep, still with her.
Go outside. I'm waiting for you.
Latula did as the voice instructed, confident that it was Mituna. The skies of LOEW had four colors, she saw as she looked up in the air: yellow, red, blue, and purple. They heralded the arrival of the Prince and the Heir, and she could tell.
She ignored Kurloz as the two touched down at stared in awe at Mituna's new Grimdark body. "M1tun4, wh4t's up w1th th3 outf1t?" she asked.
"The HorrorTerrors have given me strength for the upcoming battle," he said simply. "They have given me a mixture of both the powers of God Tier and their own Grimdark energy to allow me to properly fight my Denizen on LOBMAS. I want you to come with me. You are perfect the way you are."
"4ww, th4t's sw33t! but s3r1ously, wh4t's go1ng on? 4nd why 1s Kurloz w1th you?" Latula asked.
"I'll admit this does warrant an explanation, so I'll give it: my Denizen, Prora Methos, is a rogue horror Terror. He agreed to eliminate me so that Lord English wouldn't have to do so himself in the future."
"w41t, who's Lord 3ngl1sh?" Latula asked.
"I don't really know. The HorrorTerrors spoke his name with fear," Mituna replied, himself trembling slightly when he mentioned the name. "They only said that he was powerful enough to destroy all life in a universe. Prora Methos made 2 agreements with him: the first, made long ago, was that he would receive infinite knowledge, greater than that of the other HorrorTerrors, but would have to become a construct in a Sgrub session later on. This one, in fact. The second deal was made just before our session began; Prora Methos agreed to kill me and receive a dimension that Lord English had emptied to repopulate and rule as his own. The HorrorTerrors would punish this traitor themselves, but they are not allowed to directly intervene in a players' session like this."
"w3ll, th1s guy c4n't hurt you 1f you'r3 h3r3 w1th m3, r1ght?" Latula asked worriedly.
"Yes, but that's besides the point," Mituna said. "The HorrorTerrors said that if I don't rise to the challenge, he will attack everyone else."
"M1tun4, you don't h4v3 to do th1s!" Latula protested. "Th3y c4n't m4k3 you do 4nyth1ng you don't w4nt to!"
Mituna sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"But it's our only choice, Tulip. Even if I could find a way to get away from him and keep everyone else safe, it would take us to a doomed timeline. Prora Methos would relentlessly hunt me down, and all of you could get killed in the process. Most of us wouldn't be able to stand a chance, anyway."
"Tun4, how c4n you b3 so sur3 of 4ll th1s?" Latula asked, taking off her shades so that he could see her eyes.
"I'm the Heir of Doom. It's my duty in the session to see all of our possible fates," Mituna remined her. "And right now, I see us at a crossroads: either we kill Prora Methos and fulfill what my visions have been telling me, or we-all of us playing this session-could die."
Latula shook her head slowly, refusing to acknowledge her matesprit's words. "th1s 1sn't f41r! th3y c4n't just t4k3 you 4w4y from m3!"
"No one is taking me away. I want you to come with me. Kurloz, too. We're destroying this thing together. I know we can do it."
"M1tun4, 1...1 b3l13v3 you. But 1s 1t ok4y 1f 1 don't w4nt to?"
"You don't have to believe it; just trust that it will all work out," Mituna said, kissing her. When he had finished, the three trolls turned to Latula's hive.
"We're gonna prepare here for a while, and then we'll go," Mituna said. They went upstairs, where Mituna's normal, non-dream body lay on the floor. Kurloz placed it in the recuperacoon.
"It'll be safe here," Mituna said. "If I die in this state, I'll still have this one. But I won't be as powerful. Hopefully we won't need it."
"1 r34lly hop3 not. 1'm go1ng to 4lch3m1ze 1n th3 n3xt room," Latula said. She left without another word, not wishing to look at the two Mitunas at the same time.
The awake Mituna turned to Kurloz and said:
"Now I know how you feel, Kurloz: To lie to your matesprit is a terrible thing."
Kurloz frowned.
. . . . .
Latula stood over the gear she planned to use for the fight: a hoverboard, 4 grenades, a giant pair of razor-edged, one-handed, and lightweight scissors she had alchemized (referred to by the game as "Severers",) and a high-tech spear known as "Red Cloud's Missile", or RCM. Latula could throw the spear, and it would lock on to its target, able to pierce through flesh (or any similiar substance) easily enough to go through one end and come out the other end. After emerging from the other end of the target, the spear would redirect itself back to Latula, its pointed end and blunt end alternating so that she could grasp it without injuring herself accidentally. And then the RCM would be ready for another throw.
She also had on some lightweight gauntlets with blades pointing out from the knuckles. These, sadly, did not have a cool name, but they were great and tearing foes apart.
Latula was about to return to Mituna, satisfied with her choices in arms, until she heard a voice intrude upon her mind like the Kool-Aid man:
OH YEAH! FINALLY GOT A CONNECTION TO YOU! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! I'M CANS! SERIOUSLY, THAT'S MY NAME!
Despite the serious situation she was about to enter, Latula laughed at the abruptness and the hilarity of the loud voice, rather than being intimidated or repulsed.
"loud 4nd cl34r! wh4zzup?! th1s 1s L4tul4 Pyrop3, 4nd 1'm 4bout to k1ck som3 4ss! but 1 don't r34lly w4nt to..."
YOU'LL DO FINE, BABY! JUST GO OUT THERE AND BATTLE HARD! I'M HERE TO HELP YOU OUT! JUST TURN AROUND AND YOU'LL SEE A PRESENT FROM ME ON THE FLOOR! TAKE IT!
Latula did so, picking up a small maroon badge.
"wh4t's th1s for?" she asked.
IT'S MY BADGE! BUT I GOTTA WARN YOU-YOU CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE FOR THE FIGHT! USE IT RIGHT AT THE END, TO STRIKE THE KILLING BLOW! PRORA METHOS WILL DISAPPEAR, BUT CHILL OUT! THAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! IF YOU DO IT RIGHT, THE FORCE OF THE PUNCH'LL KNOCK HIM BACK EONS!
"so 1'm suppos3d to knock Pror4 M3thos b4ck 1n t1me? r4d1c4l!"
YOU BET IT'S KOOL! BUT BE MAKE SURE YOU USE IT WISELY AT THE END OF THE FIGHT!
"wh4t 1f 1 don't m4k3 1t to th3 3nd of th3 f1ght?"
CHILL OUT! YOU'LL DO FINE. KNOCK'EM INTO NEXT WEEK, KID! OH YEAH!
"w3ll, th4nks, C4ns! s33 y4!"
GOODBYE, KOOL GIRL! OH, WAIT, ALMOST FORGOT! CHECK YOUR TROLLIAN ACCOUNT, SOMEBODY'S TROLLIN', AND IT AIN'T ME!
Latula did as instructed and found that it was Aranea.
Arachne's Gift (AG) began trolling Gamer Creationist (GC)
AG: W8, 8efore you 8egin your 8attle to the death, check your recuperacoon. I appearified-well, I actually had my exile do it-a magic marshmallow for you to use in the fight. It will give you quite a useful a8ility. 8ut in order to activ8 it, you must yell "MARSHMALLOW POWER!" Good luck!
Latula went to her room where Mituna still was to show him the badge, capthaloguing it after he had looked at it. She also capthalogued the marshmallow.
"Good. I had a feeling you would get that," Mituna said, referring to Can's badge. "It ties in to Prora Methos' doom. As a Doom player, I have a good instinct about death."
"...oh. w3ll, wh4t 4bout your own?" Latula asked, afraid of answering the question. Mituna sighed deeply.
"If we do this right, I'll be fine. And so will you. Don't worry about it. At all!" he finished his statement with a harsh tone. "Gog, why are you worrying about it?!"
Latula scowled. "W3ll, 3xcus3 m3 for h4v1ng som3 conc3rn for you!" she cried. "1s 1t r34lly wrong for m3 to not w4nt you to d13?!"
"No, it's just...gah! This is so hard to explain to you! You could barely grasp Prora Methos, and now this worrying crap. Just Porrim with Kankri..."
"h3y, Porr1m's 43som3! don't br1ng h3r 1nto th1s!" Latula protested. "1 don't know wh4t thos3 stup1d HorrorT3rrors d1d to you, but you'r3 4ct1ng l1k3 so 4loof r1ght now1"
"This doesn't come naturally to me," Mituna replied. "This...relationship stuff. Can't you just learn to-?"
"1 don't h4v3 to 'l34rn 4nyth1ng! M1tun4, why 4r3 you b3ing so...?"
Latula's words were deflected against Mituna's ears. There was already too much noise going on in his head to hear them.
"WHY ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' HESITATIN'?! IT'S TIME TO KILL THIS GUY! FORGET ABOUT YOUR HYSTERICAL DAME OF A MATESPRIT!"
"Mituna, cease this foolish bickering. You must defeat Prora Methos!"
FOOLISH BOY. CAN'T YOU SEE YOUR DOOM AHEAD OF YOU? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
biscuits is getting tired of you not talking to him! why won't you say anything to me...?
Snowman, I love you. There, I've said it.
Agggggggh!
meow, meow, we're drowning! we can't swim!
Kid, listen, now's the time for you to be a man. Forget about me, the others need you! Stick that pin in that doll and go!
I find all of this to be rather amusing.
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
6969696969696969696969...!
Marshmallow Power!
Vwhy didn't you care about me? Vwould it hawve killed you to vwisit just once? Does no one lowve me? I am really that vworthless?
How HIGH to you have to BE to even DO something like that?
Hold on, John. I'm about to throw a bathtub through your wall.
Add the screams of milllions of Dersites to these voices.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP, STOP, STOP!" Mituna turned around and kicked the wall of Latula's hive, sitting down with his back turned to her. He began to cry.
"wh4t's wrong now?!" Latula demanded. Mituna turned around, and her face eased up when she saw how sad he was.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Mituna said, shaking his head. "I lied to you, Latula. We are going to die, we are going to die! And all those voices will never get out of my head! And Kurloz just kills people and so does Meenah and Lord English and Jack and people I don't know and death and blood and corpses and tell Kankri to shut up! And shut up, all of you idiots in my head! Just stop it! STOP TALKING TO ME!"
Mituna sobbed uncontrollably into Latula's shoulder, opposite Cans' badge.
"Why 4r3 you cry1ng so much?" Latula asked.
"Don't you get it? I can see death, as it happens, before it happens, after it happens. And that includes my own. I lied, Latula: we are going to die. Just not now. We're doomed, Latula. We were doomed to play this game, doomed to fight Prora Methos, doomed to die, in some way or another. I just don't really know how. I can't see that far. And all of the voices in my head...the voices..."
"shhh...1t's ok4y, M1tun4, don't l3t th3 vo1c3s both3r you. 1t'll b3 ok4y, trust m3."
"How can you be so sure?"
"w3ll, 1 gu3ss you could s4y 1 w4s 1nsp1r3ed by your own conf1d3nc3 just mom3nts 4go! 1 lov3 you, Tun4, 4nd 1t hurts to s33 you th1s w4y."
"...I love you, too, Tulip."
"M1tun4?"
"Yeah?"
"d1d you 3v3r s33 us f4ll1ng 1n lov3?"
"...No. I never did. My visions and voices never really involved me."
"do you th1nk th4t m4yb3 th4t w4s just som3th1ng th4t w3 could control on our own? M4yb3 w3'r3 r34lly mor3 in control of our d3st1ny th4n w3 t3nd to th1nk?"
"...Maybe. Or mabye..."
"m4yb3 wh4t?"
"Maybe we were 'doomed' to fall in love."
"h3h, h3h. m4yb3 so."
The matesprits soon joined Kurloz, still wielding the Cringe Inducer, at the gate to LOBMAS.
"you'r3 not t4k1ng 4ny w34pons?" Latula asked.
"Nope," Mituna replied. "I only need my psychic powers for this fight."
"oh. w3ll, l3t's go, th3n."
"Yeah. Let's go."
