A/N: Hello sweet friends and readers! Thank you all: FireJayGames, whether-morning-whether-night, Ashley-Crowley10, KamAnDa, MoonFeeryes, Mo, deator11, Star0202, DarkFireAngel00, AJ, Guest (several Guests :D). I am so happy to read your thoughts; they inspire me! I can't incorporate all input with every update, but it does help me weigh possible plotlines...and to be plain, they just make my day to read and know you're here with me! :D Thank you all. You all are so wonderful and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me via comments/review. Hope you enjoy...this is a longer chapter, but we're getting closer to a reveal. And Jared's POV chapter is up next.


HALLOWEEN WEEKEND, SENIOR YEAR - CONTINUED

Kim pasted a smile on her face. "Hi Mallory."

"Are you out of work?" she asked pleasantly. In her hand, she held a styrofoam coffee in a to-go cup. Her thick black hair was pushed behind her ears, but long and loose. Kim had spent a lifetime admiring Mallory from afar- with one part awe, and one part envy. She'd even asked her mom back in 5th grade, how Mallory's hair always looked so big and fluffy, when Kim's own hair was flat, wispy and tended toward grease. Her mom had shrugged- not realizing the depth of Kim's insecurity- and said, "Genetics" before resuming her work in the garden. Kim stared at her own reflection morosely thereafter, as puberty set in and continued to bless Mallory in abundance.

"Uh, yeah. It was- Halloween Story Time." Kim felt stupid suddenly, whereas minutes before she'd been preening under Jared's compliments. She refrained from wiping her lipstick off. At school, Kim wore lipstick all the time, but it was a muted color that no one probably noticed. She only ever wore her red lipstick at home while pretending to be in a music video before hopping in the shower...or, of course, on occasions like Halloween. Mallory, meanwhile, was looking clean-faced and pretty as a skincare ad.

"Cute. That's cute." Mallory pressed her lips together, almost like she was biting back a smile. "Your basket's broken, though. Did you know that?'

Kim laughed nervously, but it wasn't a real laugh. Her hands gripped the fraying basket's handle. "Yeah, this whole thing was...last minute."

"How clever." Mallory's blue eyes sparkled. Mallory's dad was part Quileute/part Irish, and her mom was full Native. A few people on the Rez had blue eyes, and a handful of folks had green, but most had varying shades of brown. Mallory's eyes were especially striking against her dark skin. Her father and older brothers had the same blue eyes.

"Yeah. Um. Did you have a good Halloween?" Kim asked politely, inanely.

"Kind of. There was a party last night and it was pretty good. People got sloppy though. You know how it is," she said, scoffing but smiling all at once. Kim didn't know how it was, but she could guess. She vaguely nodded in agreement. "What did you do last night, Kim? Y'know, for Halloween?"

"My friend Sarah came over and w-we watched horror movies."

Mallory walked closer. "Oh, that's sweet. Anything else? No parties?"

Kim shook her head.

"I was surprised I didn't see you at Jill's, actually. Like, everybody was there." She stood only a few feet away now. "Why didn't you come?"

Kim felt a touch of shame whisper through her. Should she lie? Say that she had decided not to go? Mallory already knew she wasn't busy. So, quietly, Kim explained, "I don't think I was invited."

Mallory's lip stuck out. "Oh. You weren't? That's weird. She had like our entire school there plus half of Forks. Sorry. I didn't know. I wouldn't have brought it up."

Suddenly, Kim had the suspicion that Mallory did, in fact, know that she wasn't invited. Because neither was Sarah. They never were. Either she was exaggerating how many turned out, or it was the usual parade of "cool kids" at the party- in which case, she shouldn't be shocked that Kim (who never had attended anything before), didn't turn out. Besides, Kim was pretty sure she knew of two popular guys who didn't go due to Patrol, she met those jarringly pretty blue eyes again. "That's okay. It's not really my thing, anyway."

Mallory nodded, face still wearing that expression of- chagrin? Sympathy? But there was something else, too, in the hard set of her mouth.

Kim swallowed. "It was good seeing you-"

"Wait, Kim. Before you go." Mallory glanced down at the cup in her hands. "I have to ask you a personal question. What's up with you and Jared?"

"Jared?" Kim asked. Her brain was shooting through possible answers, trying to weigh the consequences in all directions.

"Jared. Yeah. Jared Cameron." Mallory's face was still pleasant, but her tone had a bite to it. "I know you guys have been talking a lot lately. That's nice."

"Yup, it's been- nice, getting to know him. We're in English together. He was my seat partner. Is my seat p-partner."

"That's not unusual," Mallory agreed. "I know you've been partners before. Brut to be totally honest with you, it's kind of weird, right?"

Kim didn't reply, but just stared at her.

"I can be honest with you, right, Kim?"

"Uh- sure." Kim swallowed. If she'd left the Library five minutes earlier, she'd be well on her way to Leyendecker Park by now. Instead she felt like she was an ant scurrying out of the way of a giant magnifying glass, incinerating the space around her. She adjusted her glasses, just to keep herself from fidgeting.

"It's weird, because you've been partners before, but like- not to hurt your feelings or anything- Jared hasn't really showed any interest in you at all." Her lips stretched into an awkward grimace, but Kim knew somehow that she relished saying this stuff to her for some reason. "He didn't even know your name whenever it came up, so why the sudden interest?"

Of course, none of these were new questions to Kim. Join the curiosity line, sister. I've been on the hotline waiting for answers. Instead, she shrugged, and attempted casually, "I guess never too late to get to know a classmate." It was a pathetic response, but she hoped its vagueness would suffice.

It didn't. "Oh totally!" she said in that same pleasant way from earlier. "But I couldn't help but notice as I was driving home yesterday that his car was in your driveway after school. And that's pretty weird, you know? I mean, it's one thing to get friendly but it's another to hang out after school. You guys must be getting really close, huh?"

Kim knew her eyes must be wide with guilt right now, so she glanced down at her basket again. "He just stopped by before he had to go to work."

"Right. Well, I mean, I don't blame you." Her voice dropped low, and she winked. "He's hotter than ever, don't you think?"

"I really have to head out, Mallory," Kim said, a little helplessly.

"Oh, of course. Totally. But Kim-" Mallory sighed. She looked out over the parking lot, then back at Kim. "Be careful, okay? You're so sweet and just so-" she paused, and didn't seem to have another word on hand, so she repeated, "sweet. I'd hate for you to get mixed up with drama so unnecessarily."

Kim studied her. When she didn't open her mouth, Mallory continued, "It's just...Jared's one of my very best friends. I'm trying to look out for him, but I want to look out for you too. And because I know him so well, I can tell you that you're going to be making a huge mistake if you let yourself get carried away with him."

"You'd know," Kim pointed out, quietly. The words were out before she could think twice.

Mallory blinked, and something ugly lit in her eyes then. Her mouth pinched. "I would know. Why? Because I've been one of his closest friends since middle school. Wanna know what else? I've been fucking him for three years. I'm who he calls when he's annoyed, or horny, or just needs somebody."

"Even when he's dating your best friend?" Kim didn't know why she was talking; but it was the same question she'd been asking for years, that she and Tina and Sarah had marveled over. How Amanda and Mallory had maintained anything resembling friendship when the ruse came to light time and time again- was beyond Kim's understanding.

Mallory must've heard it all before. Unfazed, she said, "Exactly. I've been through more drama than you could possibly comprehend, because I care about him. And I think I'm more than qualified to make a judgment call here. I can tell when a girl is drooling after dick and doesn't know when the obvious is right in front of her face."

Kim stared at Mallory, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her- like she'd been jabbed hard in the solar plexus. She was rooted to the spot.

Mallory stepped closer, "I don't have anything against you, Kim. You said I could be honest, right? Well, honestly, I haven't given you a second thought in years. You're not a problem in my book. But I do have a problem with whatever you've done to make Jared isolate himself. That's not healthy and it's fucking wrong of you to do, Kim."

Kim was utterly perplexed. "Me? He was sick, Mallory. I had nothing to do with that."

Mallory's eyes flashed. "I'm not talking about that. Stop being an obtuse bitch."

No one had ever spoken to Kim like this before; her instincts were waffling between run away and...well, a less polite reaction. But years of social conditioning were winning out, and she could feel herself shrinking as Mallory- in all of her terrifying beauty- leaned forward. "I'm talking about the last ten days. The sickness thing was weird enough, but he was still Jared when he came back."

"Meaning…?" It dawned on Kim, so she answered herself, "Meaning, what? He was a jerk? He was obsessed with you and Amanda and Brad?" She remembered their conversation on Second Beach last weekend, of the vulnerability he laid out for her as they drove and chatted. She remembered what Sarah had said at lunch the day before. "Maybe you need to realize that wasn't really the real Jared."

Mallory looked bored. "Puh-lease."

"Seriously. Maybe the real Jared is the one who doesn't want anything to do with you guys, and would rather hang out with me and Paul LaHote."

Zing.

That was the comment that undid it all. Mallory's face turned thunderous and she stepped so close that Kim gritted her teeth, commanding herself not to retreat, not to flinch. Only inches away, Mallory said, "Listen here, you fat little grub. I was trying to be nice and to spare you some fucking humiliation. You think you're so smart? You've got it allllll figured out, huh? You really think Jared has a secret sensitive side that only comes out around you? You think you're the exception?" She thrust out her free hand that wasn't holding coffee, her long fingers manicured. She wriggled her fingers in the space just to the side of them. "I can't even begin to count how many girls he's fucked, and fucked over. And I don't want to tell you how many of them thought they'd tapped into Jared's secret side. He wasn't going to fall for a single one of them, and he isn't going to fall for you, sweetheart. I've seen it before. He gets bored and restless and finds someone new. It's textbook. You'll be the laughing stock sooner rather than later, so do yourself a favor and don't fall for it. No matter how desperate you are for some attention, let me assure you that Jared is out of your league and this will not end up well for you. You'll thank me in the long run."

That feeling of having been stabbed was even heavier now, radiating from her sternum out and making her heart ache in such rawness that she wanted to fall on her knees. But she managed to say, "You're really jealous, aren't you?"

"Of what? O-of you?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"I guess so," Kim said, trying to look purely curious and not as horribly wounded as she felt. "For you being so confident that I'm being naive...do you do this with all of Jared's girlfriends? Since I'm so 'textbook,'" Kim enunciated it, even as her stomach churned, "then why bother?"

Mallory didn't have a rebuttal, but her mouth pinched even more.

A hot spitefulness shot through Kim's bloodstream, mingling with that throbbing heartache. She spat, "Is it because maybe he's going really off-script this time? Would he normally have called you up by now, Mallory? Maybe you're wondering why he's gotten so bored that he'd resorted to me, rather than finally giving you a proper go?"

Kim didn't believe it, because she really really couldn't fathom all of their conversations- of Jared's sincerity- as being sourced by boredom, but there it was. If what Mallory said was true, then it stood to reason that Kim would only be humiliated so far. Whereas Mallory... if she wanted him in any capacity beyond sexual- which it was now quite evident that she did- then...she was well and truly being passed over after years of being his go-to "friend." Really, who had more to be humiliated about?

From the hurt and rage in Mallory's expression, Kim knew she'd hit the mark with bruising precision. Part of her felt victorious; the other part of her could hear her mother's voice admonishing her for sinking to the level of "a mean girl."

Before Mallory could said anything, a third voice cut in. "There a problem here, girls?"

Blinking, and coming back to the uncomfortable reality of the parking lot, both girls turned to look.

God, strike me down.

It was Monica. Autumn's Monica. Her features were casual, but she stared hard at Mallory. Beside her stood a small boy who looked to be her brother, no older than an elementary schooler.

"It's cool," Mallory gritted out.

"Fantastic," Monica said sarcastically. "Go on in, Pete. I'll be in soon." The little boy entered the Library, but Monica stayed put. "It was Kim, right? We met a couple weeks ago."

"I remember," Kim said, trying to shake off that rabid bitchiness that had taken over. "Hi again."

"Good to see you. And Mallory Peters. I wish I could say the same about you."

"Whatever," Mallory groused. She backed off, but her cheeks maintained their fevered tint. Kim focused on that smug sense of satisfaction knowing that she'd gotten under Mallory's skin. It distracted from the dull pain that seemed to coat her every breath...slightly, at least. Instead, Mallory's attention swung toward Monica. "How's Autumn?"

"She's doing fine," Monica intoned forcefully. "Not that it 's any of your business. I assume you're back to your usual tricks? Must be a comfort. I'd ask how Cameron's doing but I really don't care."

Mallory sneered, then, looking between the two of them, Kim watched as the reality dawned. Mildly, she said, "To tell you the truth, Monica, I don't know how Jared's doing this week. Why don't you ask Kim?"

Kim's gut twisted. Monica's face didn't budge.

When the reaction wasn't immediate, Mallory said, "I can't waste my whole day here, but…" she looked back at Kim. "Think about what I said. This isn't going to end well, Kim. I know him."

She stomped back to her car and was pulling out of the parking lot before Monica broke the quiet. "So much for you being one of the smart ones."

Kim swallowed heavily, glancing down at her keys. "I didn't-uh-"

"The night we met you two at the Cafe, were you sleeping with him?" Monica's voice was clear as crystal, her spine straight.

"I've never slept with Jared," Kim replied immediately.

"Never?"

"No. I'm a virgin." Kim felt so stupid but couldn't let Monica leave, thinking something twisted and untrue. She shouldn't care about her opinion, but- she did.

"Why'd she say that then?"

"Because I have been hanging out with Jared, and she's jealous, I guess. He mostly wants to be around me or around some other guy in our class. He's not hanging out with his old friends at all and she seems to-" she swallowed, pushing away the thought of his hands on her hips and the taste of his mouth on hers, "she seems to suspect that's my fault. But it isn't."

"He seemed pretty eager to hang out with you that night in PA," Monica said, but Kim sensed her softening. "Apparently he could barely talk to Autumn for the first couple minutes because he was so upset we'd interrupted his time with you. She thought he was going to have a seizure he got so worked up."

Kim was agog, honestly, at that revelation. He had brought her flowers the next morning.

"You're genuinely surprised," Monica surmised. "Hmm. Is it- one-sided? Presuming that it's authentic at all, which I have my doubts over when it comes to that POS."

"I-" Kim felt her phone buzzing. Probably Jared, who was waiting for her. "I don't know."

"You don't know if it's authentic or if it's one-sided?" Monica asked in her sharp way.

"One-sided," Kim whispered. She knew it wasn't one-sided, but she felt weak admitting to Monica that she loved him for years. Monica didn't seem like the type to pine after guys at all, letalone after one ignorant jackass who never acknowledged her existence.

Monica's lip curled like she could see right through her anyway. "Kim. C'mon. I don't like that bitch, but Mallory was right- if you...do anything with him, it probably won't end up well."

Kim felt that hurt surge through her again. She smashed her lips together, too late remembering that she'd smudge her careful lipstick. "He seems to really like me."

"And he probably should," Monica said gently. She pushed a lock of black hair back from her face, then said, "But if history shows us anything...he's going to break your heart. It crushed my best friend. Will it crush you?"

Kim didn't answer.

"If you think you can do all that without strings, then...well, I can't stop you. But Cameron seems to be pretty talented at hacking a spot out for himself in girls' hearts, and it hurts like hell when he's done with you."

Somewhat ridiculously, but feeling tears tightening her throat, Kim told her, "I'm- I'm leaving next summer. For college."

Monica nodded, skinny eyebrows pulled together with sympathy. "Good for you. Don't let him derail you from that."

Kim nodded, sadly.

With a heavy sigh, she said, "I really do like you, Kim. I don't know why. I feel like we're- I don't know, maybe kindred spirits or something. None of this is my business. Hell, I should be pissed as hell to find out that you were even in the picture while he was dating Autumn, but...I dunno. Just….be cool. Don't let Mallory get to you, and keep your guard up around Cameron. We're two ships in the night, but...I hope everything works out well for you. And that you don't get yourself in trouble."

Kim's phone was buzzing like crazy.

"I gotta go. Pete and I are spending the day together, but- take care of yourself." Monica looked like she wanted to say something else.

"Thanks Monica," Kim said, quietly, and a little sadly. Two ships in the night, indeed. "I hope everything turns out for you, too."

"Cya around," she said.

Kim held her tears in until she was about five minutes out of Forks. When she was surrounded by trees, the waterworks just started and didn't stop and her damn phone was buzzing like crazy…

She wasn't surprised to see a missed call from Jared, but she was surprised to see six missed calls from Jared.

She couldn't avoid him. The clock indicated that she was now officially fifteen minutes late. With a deep breath, she pressed CALL. His phone rang once, and then he was on the line, sounding breathless.

"Kim! God, Kim, I was worried- are you okay? Where are you?"

She applied her fake-bright voice and hoped it was sufficient. "Hey, Jared, I'm-"

"What's wrong? Your voice sounds weird." She heard the sound of his keys, and his car door. "I'll come get you. Where are you?"

"I'm driving back to La Push. I got held up but I'm headed back now."

"Okay- what happened? I can meet you at your house, too."

"No, I'm fine." She stared hard at the road ahead of her, hand tight on the steering wheel as she said into the speaker, "But I'm going to cancel today, if that's okay."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so- are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. Just tired." She couldn't look him in the eye, or be alone in his presence. She was sure she'd climb into his arms at the slightest provocation. Monica's face floated around her mind- the disappointment in her expression. Mallory's face, pinched with ugly bitterness and hurt because Kim had ruthlessly lobbed some nasty truths at her. Was this what Kim was becoming? "I'll see you later."

He kept texting all night. Just polite questions, and nice things, really. She studied all night to keep her mind off of- well, everything. The guilt that seemed to stick in her bloodstream like tar; the sudden fear that the universe was trying to wave its arms at her, shrieking, "This is wrong! How many more signs do you need, Connweller?" while she blithely carried on, lying to her mother and best friend because some long-overdue romantic fantasy was now sweeping her up?

At 10 PM, after she heard her parents' bedroom door close, she finally pushed her books to the side and decided to step out on the porch for some fresh air. The smell of fading autumn- of winter, biting somewhere in the distance and hungry for its opportunity to sweep in- was an indescribable comfort to her. Kim closed her eyes, wishing her hammock was still mounted, and instead took a seat on the steps.

How long she was out there, she didn't know exactly- maybe ten, fifteen minutes- when she heard some movement nearby, around the side of the house. She paused, wondering if it was the neighbors' coonhound Abbott snuffling along their yard; maybe his electric collar had zapped off again. Deciding to check it out, Kim pulled her sweatshirt sleeves down to cover her fingertips, and rounded the right side of the house-

"Jesus!" she yelped, as a huge mass of human being appeared only a few feet away. She scrambled back by instinct.

"It's just me, Kim," came a deep voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Pressing her hand to her chest, she sputtered, "Jared?"

"Hi, Kim." He stepped forward, just enough so that the dim light from her bedroom window touched him and allowed her to actually discern his features. He looked a little embarrassed, but happy to see her, and-

Oh. "Where are your clothes?" Holy shit. Jared without a t-shirt was...Kim couldn't stop staring.

"I'm working," he said, a little nervously. "I- got hot."

"You don't say," she murmured, eyes running patterns over his cut musculature.

He made a laughing sound that caused his chest to expand, and Kim realized (too late) that she needed to preserve her dignity a little more vigilantly. She awkwardly cleared her throat. At least the dark could obscure both her flushed cheeks and her lack of makeup.

"My parents are asleep. I can't be out here long."

"That's a good thing. Not a good idea to hang out after dark, alone. Especially so near to the tree-line."

Kim shrugged, not really knowing how to reply to such a cryptic comment.

"Were you okay earlier?" he asked curiously, stepping forward to take her hand.

His hand was so big and warm around hers; once again, that feeling of security settled over her, like gears fitting together inside a clock. His thumb stroked over the back of her hand, and she made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat.

"I missed you." His voice was soft. His other hand rose to touch her cheek, and when he leaned close, her body mimicked his to close the distance. Their kiss was gentle, and in the back of her subconscious, Kim could sense his hesitation.

The words slipped from Kim, honest and immediate: "I missed you too." God, how was she supposed to even stay away from Jared, to do the "smart thing" and hit the brakes on their flirtation, when it was just so natural with him?

She felt his mouth smile against her forehead as he pressed another kiss there. "I'm glad I'm not the only one. I haven't stopped thinking about you all day."

For better or worse, I can say it's been the same for me. Try as she had to bury her nose in books, her encounter with Mallory and Monica was bothering her like a splinter wedged in her finger. She huffed a small sigh.

"Did I overstep, earlier?" he asked. His hand kept its sweet, warm grasp around hers.

"When?"

"When I was texting. About your costume."

"Oh- no. That was really flattering." She laughed a little bit, admitting, "Did wonders for my ego. Not bad for a costume I threw together at the last minute."

"Then what happened? Did something bad happen at your job?"

"No." Kim closed her eyes, enjoying the scent of the night and being so near to Jared's skin. That carnal side of her personality was thrumming, purring with a feminine demand to nestle close and explore the expanse of hardness. To taste his skin. She clenched her teeth, refusing to let her damnably visceral instincts to distract. "No, work was okay. But in the parking lot, Mallory Peters had a lot to say to me."

Jared's energy shifted; even in the dark, she could sense his demeanor change to annoyed, alert. "What?"

"Just mean things, mostly." She didn't want anyone- let alone Jared- to know how much hurt Mallory could inflict, because then they'd know where Kim's weakspots were. She wasn't sure what was worse- having people find out that she was sensitive about her flaws, or giving Mallory the satisfaction that she could thrust the dagger so cleanly through. "Most of it was probably bullshit. She was desperate, jealous and mean. But it all went down in front of someone who I'd rather not have see- and it just, just messed with my head all day. And I didn't want to see you because I felt guilty and even now I'm feeling kind of weird, and I'm still not sure how I feel about all this, and…"

"Slow down," Jared said, quietly. He cupped both of Kim's cheeks in his hands; even in the dark, she could see his penetrating stare. She suddenly had the deep certainty that he could see her perfectly, regardless of the night. It made her head go a bit foggy.

He kissed her forehead again, a moment later, then prompted, "Why do you feel guilty? Did Mallory make you feel that way? She doesn't know shit, even if she thinks she does."

"No, it wasn't her. I dished it back to her, and to be honest, I was a bitch." Kim swallowed. "I'm not sure if I'm proud of myself or pissed at myself for stooping to her level of toxicity."

"You wouldn't have if she hadn't provoked you and deserved it," Jared said with certainty. His fingers carded through her hair. "If she was talking about...our history, well, I want you to know that it is history. I've not even thought about her since meeting you."

Kim felt that strange tug at his word choice: meeting. Surely that was the simpler way to describe "looking at someone for the seven-thousandth time in ten years, but suddenly having a total change of heart" so Kim didn't want to press it at this exact second.

Or did she?

"I was close with Mallory for awhile. I did things with her that I'm not proud of," he confessed in a low voice, thick with emotion and regret. "And she thinks she knows me, but she doesn't. You know me, Kim. And you're the only person who could know me best, or who I want to share that side of myself with, you know?"

"I- I guess so." She frowned into the darkness of her yard, past Jared's shoulder. Suddenly, the memory of the animal at her property-line earlier in the week came to mind. She wondered if Jared ever had to watch out for wildlife on these late night "patrols" (as he called it).

"Are we okay, then?" Jared asked, hopefully. "I'll tell Mallory to lay off. I honestly wouldn't even notice if she never talked to me again. Or any of them. I need you, and the pack-"

"Pack?" Her eyes darted back to him.

"Sorry- it's the, uh, nickname we have...for Sam, Paul and me."

"Oh." She mashed her lips together, searching his barely-visible features in the darkness.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed, leaning down to kiss her again.

He definitely can see me, her brain insisted, just before his mouth's movement on hers overpowered her senses temporarily.

When he pulled away, Kim felt bereft- and unsettled. She wanted him close to her again, but something was nagging at her. Hands wrapping around his strong upper arms, she decided to include the full reason for her melancholy. Tonelessly, and quickly, she explained, "I also was bothered because someone witnessed everything with Mallory, and I respect that person and don't want to give anybody a reason to look down on me."

Jared's biceps tensed under her hands. Woodenly, he asked, "Is this someone… a guy?" His voice was sufficiently mild, but there was an undertone of something else.

"No." Laughable. Kim never spoke to any guys, other than Archie Burnside and like two other classmates when dictated by teachers. "It was Monica."

There was a pause, before, baffled, Jared asked, "Monica Huff?"

It was only then that it occurred to Kim: she didn't know Monica's surname. "From Forks?"

"Yeah." He sounded perplexed. "Why would you care about Monica?"

"Because- I do." She couldn't explain why. They were two ships in the night, by all accounts.

"Well...if you gave shit back to Mallory as good as Mallory was probably spouting, Monica will respect you all the more. Monica hates Mallory. She probably was proud."

"She would've been, if she hadn't assumed we were-" Her mouth went suddenly dry.

"We were…?

Sleeping together. That hot instinct was flickering back to life, like some animal living in her bloodstream that was waiting for even the slightest provocation to focus on the heat from his skin, to tempt her to run her hands and tongue along his muscles.

Jesus Christ. She took a step back, dragging a breath past her chapped lips. Clinically, she rushed out with, "She assumed we were sleeping together."

A beat.

"Oh." Jared's tone indicated that he understood.

"I know I shouldn't care what she thinks…but I do. I care how all this looks to everyone," she added, weakly. She flattened her hands against her sides.

Jared was quiet. "When...will you not care? What would make this easier?"

She thought about it. "Probably just time." And maybe some answers….if enough time passes, she might be able to get both.

Can I wait that long?

"I've got a long time," Jared said, a weak string of laughter through his voice, but he fidgeted. "I just was hoping…"

A cold taste of judgment bled into her mouth. For sex?

"I dunno, I wanted to be able to...show you off. Bring you to my parents' house, to Sam's. Hold your hand at school, and spend our weekends together."

Wow. Kim felt her heart doing all sorts of somersaults.

Jared asked, "Is that cool? Did that sound clingy? I swear to God I'm not a creeper."

Biting back a smirk, Kim mused, "Well, you are in my yard in the middle of the night…"

"Fuck," he swore, low. He took a step back. "I'm not-"

"I'm kidding," she said, chuckling. She reached for his hand, to give it a quick squeeze. "No. That's all- really nice. I don't even know what to say."

"But I get why you're anxious, I guess." Jared's hand was so warm and lovely. He clasped at her fingers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles again. "I just wish there was a way around it. Are you sure we can't just say fuck it and let people judge? They won't give a shit within two weeks."

He had a point. "They'll all be asking questions."

"Who cares?"

"Well- some of the questions are the same questions I have. I still don't really get it, so I don't want the rest of the world trying to figure it out before I do."

Jared was quiet again, and when he didn't offer anything, Kim realized he knew what she was implying.

Insistently, she ventured, "Like...why all of a sudden?"

"I woke up. Woke up and realized there was an incredible girl in front of my eyes, and if I didn't wise up, I might miss my chance with her."

Kim chewed on her lip. "That's very sweet." But she felt like there was more to it. If that was the case...he would've eased into this, instead of a ten day crash-course. "But you act like- even that first day, it wasn't even two hours and it was like you were already in-" Just before the rest of that damnable (and possibly utterly humiliating) phrase slipped out of her mouth, Kim caught herself and choked off the words.

Jared's voice deepened. "What?"

"Nothing. I should go to bed." She squeezed his hand, then pulled her arm back- but he didn't let go.

"As if I was already in love with you?" His voice was like smoke across stone, low and warm and scorching.

"I didn't say that," she said, voice choked with embarrassment. She probably sounded so full of herself and crazy. Presumptuous. This was mortifying. "Forget it."

"Kim." Jared pulled her close, and somewhere between their impossible chemistry and his superhuman strength, she wilted against his frame like second-nature. She braced herself with one hand against his chest. If he could somehow see in the dark, he was staring at her red cheeks and trembling lips. With one hand still holding hers at their sides, he brushed his other thumb across her mouth. "I-"

"Jared, please stop." She couldn't see much in the dark, except for his silhouette and the occasional glint of his eyes when the light of the moon caught them just right. Without seeing his face, she suddenly had the horrible realization that he could be mocking her and she wouldn't know it. And if it was true- if he was somehow truthfully about to confess his love- then all the more reason to insist on seeing his face. It could either be the worst or best moment of her life, and the dark would ruin it regardless. "I want to go inside."

"I can't explain it right now," he told her quietly, then kissed her before wrapping his arms around her in a bear's hug. When he spoke again, it was against the top of her head. "But I think I can, after you come to the bonfire with the Elders with me, next Friday night."

"Okay." She breathed in. His scent was so earthen. It made her stomach flutter. "You better not be gearing up to break my heart."

His chest vibrated a bit under her cheek; his voice was amused as he said, "I think you'll find you're the one with the power here."

"I mean it. I- really, really couldn't handle it." She could, but it would include maybe having to transfer schools so she wouldn't have to exist with the daily humiliation. She released a breath. "You should go back to work."

"Okay." He let her pull away. "Can we hang out this week? Maybe tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow won't work," she said, disappointment trickling through her; that foreign space in her chest pulsed with it. "I've got a math exam on Monday so Sarah and I are cramming all day. I'm going to get donuts for us first thing in the morning so I'm gonna skip Church. When I'm done with her, I really have to focus on more studying."

"Totally get it. Being a brainiac demands time." Even downcast, Jared sounded proud. "Maybe Tuesday after school?"

"There's a National Honors Society meeting until 5. Then I have another AP Bio test on Wednesday that I need to ace so..." She realized she sounded like she was purposefully trying to avoid him. "Um. Sorry. This week ahead is crazy. We'll at least have English every day, though."

"And Friday- you can definitely do that, right?"

"Yes. I should be able to. As long as I'm home by 11. Since- y'know, work the next morning."

"I promise." Jared hesitated, then leaned forward for one more kiss. "Goodnight, Kim."

"Goodnight, Jared." She missed his heat, with every step back that he took. She wished she could see his face.

When she tucked into bed that night, she couldn't quite fall asleep- she kept thinking about how deep and rasping his voice got. The sincerity, like saying it was the most natural thing in the world.

"As if I was already in love with you?"

The words played over her mind a million times, as she tried to imagine his face. There was such certainty in his deep eyes, whenever he looked at her.

In love in love in love.

Those words, on repeat, clattered around her brain, until sleep came.


A/N: Thank you all for reading. Your reviews are awesome (and one made me laugh aloud- "in the year of our Lord!" bahaha!)...you're all wonderful. Thank you for reading and supporting...glad there are still Kim/Jared fans out there. :)