A/N: HELLO FRIENDS. I am so sorry for my absence. Thank you for the sweet thoughts about my dear old dad. He's doing great but recovery was tough for a few months; we took quarantine very seriously during his recovery. Glad that the world is returning to normal and that we were lucky to get vaxx'ed- and glad he's still with us! Around Valentine's Day, my computer totally died and the tech guys had to scrap it- recovery wasn't an option, it was so bad. I was devastated. I lost the Quil/Clare story I was already 65 pages into, and the Collin/OC story I was 20 pages into. I lost this chapter and then I lost all my notes for all the wolf pack stories I was hoping to do. I was so so saddened. I took a break for a while, because work got crazy too...basically, only me and one other person are still working at our facility. We worked every day, seven days a week, for months...and I'm in night classes. Sooooo I found it difficult to write. Apologies. Now that summer is here, I'm enjoying some free time again and want to rewrite the stories I lost. :) Thanks for bearing with me and sending good thoughts.
Read on, friends, and please please leave me feedback!
EDIT: I posted this, and the chapter was glitchy/repeated itself sooooo I deleted it and reposted it. Hopefully nobody saw the first attempt because it was confusing. It was only up for a few minutes- please reload if you did read the accidental glitch update!
AFTER THE BONFIRE - NOVEMBER, SENIOR YEAR
Jared's mouth was so warm, so tender on hers. His thumb brushed over her cheek, and Kim felt lighter than air.
"You better go inside," he said in that deep rumbling voice that made her shiver. "I don't want to get you in trouble."
"One more minute." She kissed him again, and again. Then a few more times. He made a groaning sound, angling his body toward hers as she carded her fingers through his shorn dark hair.
After another minute he broke away and said, plaintively, "Seriously, Kim. I don't want your parents to be pissed."
"I know. I know." She took a deep breath to collect herself. Between her ribs, her heart pounded with a newfound intimacy, somehow making her blood hotter with vitality. Only ten minutes ago, Jared revealed a secret so colossal that it literally was of supernatural proportion. It felt as if a string had been pulled on their relationship, and suddenly now anything previously guarded was unbound, loose and free- ready to be shared.
Anything, everything.
Strange, but everything suddenly felt right.
Maybe it was the deeply gratifying knowledge that he trusted her enough to tell her.
She didn't quite understand why he bestowed so much trust in her- that was still a question that waved its tiny, insistent fingers in the back of her brain- but she felt inexplicably proud that he did, all the same. Her entire world had finally settled- all pieces locked into place. His pre-destined role, ancient and noble...somehow it was a piece necessary to her own life. His trust, his friendship, his love, were all inherent to her happy existence..and that ebullient knowledge outweighed everything.
Kim's breath caught at the adoration in his eyes, at the way his lips traveled over her knuckles with reverence. Her whole body went tingly with sudden realization.
He loved her.
This boy, who she had idolized for as long as she could remember, loved her. Loved Kim Connweller. Trusted Kim Connweller. Wanted to be with Kim Connweller.
And the bullshit about his reputation, or his ex-friends or ex-girlfriends, or whatever...it was all so inconsequential because Jared was way more than that. The Jared she knew was honest, earnest, and loyal. His speech from the Beach a couple weeks ago- about his life coming together- now made way more sense.
Because her life was coming together now, too.
"What?" His eyes crinkled at the corners.
"I-" Should she tell him she loved him? Instead, she bit her lip, trying to control her smile as her heart thumped a rhythm. She leaned forward to kiss him chastely, then unfastened her seatbelt. "I had a good time tonight. Thank you. Thank you for- trusting me."
"Thank you for not screaming or fainting."
She laughed. "Well, you got through the first round of questions-"
"I'm sure there will be more. I'll answer anything, anytime. As long as we're in person. I don't really want to text about it, if you get me."
"Understood. Yes." She thought of all he had answered tonight. She'd rained questions upon him torrentially in their short drive home, all of which he answered patiently: about transforming, his eerily perfect eye-sight that seemed to improve even his human senses, and about telepathic communication as a wolf. "I'm sure I'll have more as it all processes."
"Maybe we could go to Cafe Angel tomorrow? I still haven't tried the marshmallow latte." His sweet little grin was going to be the death of her. That dimple.
"Definitely. Maybe at noon- oh dang. Wait. I work." She shook her head. "It's Saturday tomorrow. Um, maybe after my shift? If you're not busy?"
"I'll check with Sam." His smile disappeared, and a somber line took its place at his lips.
"What's up?"
"I just- I don't want to be creepy but...maybe I could hang around during your shift?"
"Why?"
"Well, we didn't circle back to your question about Cold Ones, but...yeah, there are Cold Ones. That's why my wolf gene kicked in."
She held her breath. "And- they hang out at Libraries?"
He blinked, then laughed loudly. "No, Kim- they're in Forks."
"What the hell? Specifically? Different ones from the Legend?"
"No. The same. They come back around every few decades or something." Both Jared and Kim paused when a figure passed in front of the porch window. "That's your mom waiting for you. Let's talk tomorrow. I can drive you to work, if that's cool, then we can go to PA after?"
She nodded, kissed his cheek, and scurried from the truck. As she jogged up to the front porch, she remembered Halloween night, when he showed up in her yard out of the blue. Half-naked. Now, she realized, he'd been on patrol..maybe hunting Vampires on Halloween Night.
Wild. Kim took three deep breaths; she had to act normal in front of her folks. And Jared would explain it all. There was time for answers.
Inside, Mrs Connweller waited at the kitchen table. Her dark hair was pulled behind a headband, and a glass of milk sat half-full on the table. She smiled hesitantly as Kim entered. "How'd it go?"
"Really fun. Billy Black says hi." Kim's brain flickered to tomorrow: to sitting at Cafe Angel with a hot mug in her hands as her supernatural boyfriend explained modern Vampire-slaying tactics. Focus, Kim. Be normal, be conversational.
Everything's changed.
When her mom continued to stare, her eyebrow fluttering upward in provocation, Kim elaborated, "He told the old tribal legends, and it was way better than when we learned about them years ago."
"You sound like you had a good time…" Her mother's lips split into an all-out grin. "I have to say, I was so impressed by your Jared. Dad was too. What a nice young man he's become! And Kim, I think he really, really likes you. He kept looking at you like you hung the stars."
Her cheeks automatically flushed. "I think he likes me a lot too."
"Are you two- uh, well, going steady?"
"If it were 1966, maybe," she replied slyly, but was now beaming as widely as her mom. She had no idea how amazing Jared actually was. Nobody did, except for the Elders, the pack's parents, Emily, and Kim.
Why does Emily know? Are girlfriends okay to tell, but not parents? Weird policy.
She'd ask about that too.
"What do people say now, then?" Her mom pretended to be affronted by her teasing, but she was practically bubbling with excitement. She took a sip of milk, eyebrows waggling.
"Dating, I guess." Kim mashed her lips together, having not said the word aloud to anybody before.
"Are you?"
"I think so. We're still-talking about it."
"What's there to talk about?"
A million things. "Well, when- when to make it official. People are gossips. So we're just being...strategic."
Her mother's eyes rolled. "How romantic. Kim, you kids can't let the rest of the world dictate your relationship. When something feels right...it feels right."
"I know." Kim opened the junk-drawer, hoping to find a hairtie. She found an old denim scrunchie, and twisted her hair up into its nighttime bun. "We're going to get coffee after I'm done with work tomorrow."
"Good for you. I really like him, Kimmy. Really." Then, after a second, she said conspiratorially, "And he's so handsome. I don't remember him being that hunky! When did that happen?"
"Pretty recently. But he's always been handsome."
"Right. But now- wow, that boy has some good genes, Kim!"
"You got that," she agreed, ready to laugh at her mother's innocent accuracy with such a statement. "I have to get to bed, but- thanks for being cool, Mom. About tonight. I really love you."
"Love you too, honey."
After she changed into a nightshirt and brushed her teeth, Kim sleepily flossed her teeth while she paced her bedroom floor in a familiar pattern. Cataloguing questions, trying to sort them in a sensible order- that seemed like a wise idea. It would ease the sense of unfamiliarity, if she could channel them into some kind of a study guide-
A flicker of movement in her yard caught her attention.
She stopped flossing, leaning close to the window to squint toward the trees.
It was Jared.
As a wolf.
Watching her.
A sense of exhilaration rose in her throat; her palm rose to rest against the glass, fingers splayed.
He nustled low on the ground, in a similar display to the one earlier at the Beach. She stared at him for a few minutes, throat tight with the words she wished she was brave enough to say.
Eventually, he backed away slowly into the darkness- letting the forest swallow him.
When Kim slept, she dreamed of Jared- on a beach, tucked into his body-heat and snug against the November wind.
LATER
"So why Forks?" Kim asked, just as Jared's arm came around her shoulders. He led her toward Cafe Angel.
"Don't know. Weirdos, I guess. Already established that though." He'd just finished telling her about their "vegetarianism."
"I'll say. I mean, they're not bonded to the area like we are-like, our grandparents and their grandparents lived here. It's our ancestral land. Vampires, theoretically, could go anywhere. What's the difference? Wouldn't they be less likely to stand out in a place like- I don't know- London? New Orleans? Maybe that's too Anne Rice for them."
"I wish they'd go to London. Their presence sometimes draws nomads our way, and those vermin are the ones who cross the tribal line. It's only a matter of time til one of them tries something."
"I wonder how long they'll stay here?
"I don't know, honestly. Sam says there's something weird going on between one of them and a human chick in Forks. Maybe that'll fizzle out soon and they'll leave."
"Seriously?" Kim clutched at his arm, alarmed. "Someone has to warn her."
"She knows, from what we've been told."
"Oh." Kim felt her lip curl. How spooky. Then again, she was willingly cozying up to a werewolf...so, pot, meet kettle. "Have you met them?"
"No- not, like, in my real body. I chased one of them by accident when I went over the treaty-line recently. The smell's enough to drive you crazy...honestly, the stink alone got me ready to fight. So no, I didn't really introduce myself. I just retreated."
"So you can cross the treaty-line. Obviously. Hmm." He'd hung out outside the Library all day, ostensibly reading a mystery book, but looking only partly relaxed. He came inside to chat with her as she restocked shelves, but felt better walking the block surrounding the little brick building. "But the Vampires can't?"
"Right." He shrugged. "Good bargaining, on behalf of our Ancestors. Jacob Black's great-grandfather was the one who made the negotiations. One of the terms was to maintain their secrecy."
"Are we in trouble, then?" She indicated between them with a finger.
"No." Jared's lips tightened into a line. Kim waited for him to elaborate, but instead he diverted the topic. "I wonder if the Forks girl realizes that eventually, their little love story is going to be doomed."
"Not necessarily. What if she- like, wants to be one? To be with him?"
"By default, that violates the agreement. They can't prey on humans."
She scrunched up her nose. "Oh. I guess. It's all in the technicalities."
Jared made a noncommittal sound, and opened the door to Cafe Angel. The smell of coffee flooded her senses, and she found her stomach rumbling in response to a giant poster featuring their Pumpkin Danish. "You hungry?"
"Like I said to your mom," he replied, warmly, "I am always hungry. Let's get five."
"What! I only need one," she protested.
His caramel-warm eyes were round and innocent. "I know you do. But I want four." He winked.
"How unfair." She found herself fitting her fingers through his. "I wish I had metabolism like that. Is it hard to look perfect all the time?"
He grinned at her, but his eyes flitted up her body in a way that made her limbs go pliant. "You're the perfect one, so you tell me."
She blushed, hiding her face in his shoulder. "You really know how to make me feel good."
His voice dropped into a sinful lowness, and he murmured in her ear, "I haven't even begun to show you how good I can make you feel."
She gasped, heart jackhammering. She pulled back to look at him.
A pinch of concern appeared between his eyebrows. "Was that out of line?"
"Um- n-no." Kim knew she was the color of a pomegranate. "No, it wasn't. I just don't know how to respond."
After a second of searching her gaze with those probing, deep eyes, a slow grin curled his mouth. "Hopefully...you'll let me show you sometime."
Breathless, Kim could only nod. She would like that very much.
Suddenly, Kim wished they were- ugh, dunno, maybe parked in a secluded lot somewhere, where she could be making out with Jared at her leisure. She'd imagined him a few times today shirtless, and it was giving her a rush of desire that somehow, she knew Jared was aware of.
Like now, when the memory of his ridged stomach muscles and carved shoulders sent a thrill of carnality through her- and the second it made her squirm, Jared's attention was riveted on her. His pupils were huge, unblinking, while he looked at her like she was a snack he wanted to devour. Even his breath seemed to bate, like every fiber of his being was attuning itself to her desire.
His voice dropped even lower, and with it, she resisted the urge to press her thighs together. "What are you thinking about?"
When she didn't reply- embarrassment causing her brain to flicker through about a million possible answers- he bent his head to her earlobe again. "Fuck, Kim, you have to tell me- I can sense that you- that you're-" He groaned, cutting himself off, and seemed to look back at the cafe exit a little desperately.
"Sense that I'm…?"
"Turned on," he grated out, soft and dangerous. The lust in his gaze was luminous. "What do you need? What can I do?"
She swallowed, weighing the danger of her answer. She wanted to talk, to ask questions. Just the night before, her whole concept of the Universe shifted over rather catastrophically….and she was risking an opportunity to find its rationale because...she was a horny teenager?
"I think we should get our danishes."
Jareds's eyes tracked her face with precision. Then, a second later, he let the spell lift just a smidge, acquiescing with a, "Good idea."
Coffee and brunch was spent sharing back and forth ideas about the Vampires, about the timeline for further "phasing." He told her what they could expect from the new wolves' transformations. She heartily enjoyed her danish and latte, while Jared scarfed down three of his in the same time.
"So I have to ask," she ventured, "did a bear really attack Emily?"
Jared went still, a crumb of danish clinging to his lush lower lip. He swallowed. "What?"
"I'll never bring it up to her," Kim promised, embarrassed. "But...if a Cold One did it...I mean, it would explain why Sam was so upset, right?"
Jared was utterly frozen, watching her with an unnerving kind of attention. "A Cold One didn't do that."
"Oh." Kim looked down at her napkin. Here she'd thought the bear rumor was preposterous, in the face of recent revelations- so she was actually more willing to believe a Vampire did it? "Well, I'd bet that bear would've been sorry if Sam had been nearby. Knowing what you look like when you phase...he could've pulverized three bears, I bet."
Jared expelled a breath, and Kim felt an anxiety in her throat that made her want to cough. She ammended, "Sorry, that's a sensitive topic and it was rude of me to bring up."
"Sam does wish he'd- done something different that day. That he could've...changed what happened to Emily. I'd never wish it on anybody."
"It probably really devastated him," Kim said sadly. She gazed around the empty coffee nook where their little table was tucked, pensive. "To watch the person you love, go through something like that."
Jared was staring at her with an unreadable expression. "There's more to it than that."
"Oh?"
He seemed to debate his next words. "It's important that you know this. Sam doesn't just love Emily. She's his Imprint." He reached out, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles. "The one he cherishes above anyone else. So when he...when it happened, it was almost enough to kill him."
"Jesus," she breathed. "Thank God he didn't- I mean, no good can come from that."
"He wasn't really in a rational place to see that." Jared breathed out, his eyelashes dropping to obscure his vision. "It's in our nature, Kim. To protect our Imprint, to see to her well-being."
"Is the Imprint like a wife? I'm not familiar with the word, I guess." She knew ducklings imprinted, but Jared seemed to be assigning romantic attachment to it.
"The Imprint is our perfect mate. A wife. A girlfriend, a best friend- whatever she wants us to be, we'll be." He was giving her a heady look, one that made her ears feel hot. "Our Imprints are our exceptions to the secrecy pact. We can…" he paused, squeezing her fingers, "We can tell our Imprints the truth. They're the only one we can tell."
Kim's heart pattered hard in her throat. "You-"
Jared stared at her, adoration tempered with reluctance.
"Am...are you trying to say…?" She scrunched her eyebrows together. "Am I your Imprint, Jared?"
Slowly, deliberately, Jared nodded. His gaze on her didn't waver.
"B-but...we've barely started going out," she whispered, a little ridiculously. "Are you sure about this, Jared?"
The sound he made was a bit like a chuckle, but breathless. "I've never been more sure about anything. You're...you're everything to me. You always will be. I couldn't have found a more perfect woman if I lived for a million years."
A wife. A mate. She blinked at him. "So...an Imprint is forever?"
He nodded.
Isn't this what she dreamed of, for ten years? Exhilaration tickled under her skin, like drinking lemonade too quickly on a hot day. The guy of her dreams- basically saying he wanted her to be his wife one day. If she had any doubts over his commitment, this was wiping it straight clean. "I don't know what to say. I- you know how long I've lov-liked you. How happy you make me when we're together." She squeezed his hand, and a grin broke out over his face. His smile was sunshine.
"So...Sam has Emily. And…"
His voice was a deep purr. "And I have you." Kim's throat felt tight with emotion. Jared kissed her hand that was extended between them, reverent and gentlemanly- but his eyes smoldered.
To keep herself from making out with him right here and now- despite the emptiness of the cafe at this hour- Kim asked, "So do you all get to choose one? Has Paul met any lucky girl he'd like to make his Imprint?"
Jared's smile faltered slightly, so Kim amended, "Not that there's any rush, obviously. It's better to wait if he hasn't met the right girl. I mean, it's obviously an important decision."
With a static smile replacing his genuine grin, he said, "Well, it doesn't really work like that."
Kim's brows scrunched together.
After a beat, and without releasing her hands, Jared explained, "Imprinting is rare. It doesn't happen for every shifter, but when it does- it's…" He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "It's amazing, Kim."
"So it's...it's an event? Not like...a process?" She was so confused.
"It is. Well, it's both." With his free hand, he ran a thumb over his top lip thoughtfully. "It's like the world turning to color when you've only known black and white. Or- like coming home after a long...fuck, Kim. I don't know how to explain it. It's just incredible. I looked at you that first day back, and it was- was indescribable, how you drew me in." His words took on a staggered and eager tone. "You became the center of my life, Kim. The center of my universe. I'd do anything for you. Be anything you need. I looked at you and the world changed for me forever-"
Kim felt cold.
Jared continued on, dreamy and entirely undaunted. "Imprinting changes everything. The minute your eyes meet hers- it doesn't matter what was. Your life before her- who you were before her- it's all just... her and you, from that minute on. A gift from the Ancestors, Sam says, in return for our service to the Tribe- the perfect mate."
The perfect mate. A gift.
Kim never once felt cold when she was touching Jared, until this moment.
Your life before her...who you were before her…
"That's why Sam- and Leah Clearwater?" Kim couldn't string the words together; she hoped she was misunderstanding.
"Yeah. He met Emily and imprinted-"
"And his life before her...it didn't matter."
"Right." Jared was looking at her fondly again. "Because he found her. Imprinting is forever."
Kim felt like she was on the deck of a ship rocking at sea. She stared at their hands between them, not wanting to meet the eyes across the table.
Jared. Her wolf boyfriend. Her wolf boyfriend who looked at her one day in class and...would never look away again. But not by choice.
Because she was a gift to him, from the Ancestors- to thank him for chasing Vampires every night. He'd never love another girl again.
"So your attention to me...your honesty about this whole werewolf thing...it wasn't because...it had nothing to do with trust, then."
Now Jared looked perplexed. "Of course it does. I trust you by default."
Kim closed her eyes. By default. Starkly, she said, "That's Imprinting, though. It's love, by default."
"Huh?"
All those "before" years may not matter to him...but did they matter to Kim? "If you'd sat next to anybody else that day, or- or Mr Banks hadn't told us to work together...we wouldn't be here now."
Jared looked uncomfortable. "Right. But you could say the same about any love story. I mean, my- my parents met because my mom literally tripped over him in gym. That's...I guess I don't see your point?"
"I just…" She abruptly rose from the table. "Can we go to the truck?"
Jared followed- obedient, of course, because apparently he was a slave to Kim's every whim, she thought bitterly. When they reached his car, she opened the door before Jared could get it for her. She hoisted herself into the seat, feeling cold and dizzy.
"Kim," Jared said, as soon as he was in the driver's seat, "I don't know what you're thinking but I can feel that it's upsetting you. And it shouldn't. Imprinting is the best thing to ever happen to me. You're the best thing to ever happen to me."
"But you have to think that, Jared! Don't you see? You've been- been robbed of your own sense. Of your own autonomy. All because we made fucking eye contact one afternoon." She looked at him with wide, sad eyes. "Your choice in who to love, who to trust...you don't have any at all!"
He'd been enjoying his Jared Cameron-lifestyle until he'd looked at her; now the memory of that class felt like a slap in the face. His pupils growing wide, like a person hypnotized. "My instinct that day...said something wasn't normal. I thought at first you were mocking me. But it's even worse."
Jared was getting agitated, his eyes flinty. "What's worse? The fact that I looked at you and finally realized what had been in front of me all this time? The fact that we began to spend time together as a result? I got to fall in love with you because of it. That day was the best day of my life, Kim, and I don't understand why you're acting like this."
"Because…" she took a shaky breath. "Last night I thought you confided in me because I'd earned your trust. That you were into me because of me. But the reality is, you were still enjoying yourself literally up until the moment we met. If you did miss it, or wish you could take it back, you wouldn't even know, because imprinting was forced on you. I was forced on you."
His jaw was a tight line of granite. "That's not true. You don't get it at all."
"Jared," she said his name quietly, sadly. "Do you think Sam would've left Leah for her own cousin, if not for this weird magic? Do you think if he had any choice in the matter, he'd have left her heartbroken? They were going to get married, Jared. He wouldn't have done this to her- and with her own cousin, no less- if he didn't have to, because of the wolf gene."
"Sam would be furious to hear you say that about Emily," he said in a low voice.
"Unsurprising. You guys- Jesus, you guys don't get why this sucks? Does it change your perspective that much?"
"Yes," he burst out. "Didn't you hear me when I said 'it changes everything,' Kim?! Christ, I don't get this at all. You said you've loved me for years. My change is the realest- most genuine- thing I've ever gone through, and yet you're basically saying it's dishonest. That I'm delusional?"
"You went to bed one night not knowing I exist; the next day, you're forced to like me."
"I don't just like you, Kim. I love you. And more important is that I do trust you. That's not a given with imprinting. I shouldn't have said it was 'by default.'" He started the car, his expression stricken. Kim didn't know what to say, so she sat still, studying her hands.
When they pulled into her driveway, with silence heavy between them, Kim unbuckled her seatbelt but couldn't find the motivation to open her door. They sat in the quiet.
"I wish I'd told you differently," Jared finally said.
"Jared, that's not it." A random thought brushed over her brain, and, in a small attempt to lighten the mood, she offered, "We never seem to have good luck as a pair when we go to Cafe Angel, huh?"
A dry, hesitant smile cracked over his face. "Next time, let's just get the lattes to-go." His face dropped as he amended, "If there is a next time."
She huffed a sigh. "I want there to be. I want to just be okay with this Imprinting thing. But to think you didn't choose me after all... I feel pathetic." As pathetic as she'd always felt, when it came to Jared.
"Kim, it just means that- maybe our souls chose each other. Before we were us, I mean." Jared awkwardly drummed his fingertips on his steering wheel. "Maybe we were together before, in a different life. Maybe that's why you liked me so long. Maybe your soul figured it out before mine did? I don't know how soulmates work."
"Well, I guess I can't say that isn't how soulmates work, in theory." It was an interesting idea. A little flimsy. "I just feel badly. Like you're under some thrall that I accidentally sucked you into."
"I'm more me, though. I'm becoming more 'who I'm supposed to be' every day. Being Sam's Beta. Finding the girl of my dreams. I'm happier now than I ever was. So maybe shifting did that for me? But it didn't force me into anything. It just made me get my shit together sooner. I'm glad I'm out there every night. I'm glad I ended up finding you. I don't care why we began spending time together, Kim. I just care that we get to at all. And the more time I spend with you, the more I'm sure there's nobody else I'd rather be around."
Kim's heart felt too full, her chest aching with feelings she couldn't verbalize.
"I can feel you," he confessed in a low, aching tone. Her eyes slid over to meet his, at the vulnerability reflected there. "In my chest. It's like half my heart- I mean, my whole heart is yours, but physically, it's really like half of it belongs to you now. I know right now you're- not quite happy, not really sad."
"Overwhelmed," she offered.
"Yeah. I can feel when you're happy to see me, and it's this joy that I didn't even know existed before. It's my happiness plus yours."
"I feel that too sometimes," she admitted. "Yes, like compound emotions when it happens. It's been going on recently."
"I like it. It's like I always have a tie to you. When I miss you or worry about you, it's nice to know that you're good. You're safe."
Her garage door began to open just ahead of them; her dad was in his car, ready to back out. He rolled down the window to wave.
"I should go," Kim said gently. Because it felt right, she squeezed Jared's hand. "I want to keep talking about this. I just need time to think."
He nodded. "I get it. See you, Kim."
"See you, Jared."
To take her mind off of things, she called Sarah for a sleepover that night. She spent the night across town, snuggled into Sarah's trundle-bed eating raspberries while watching Adult Swim's Saturday lineup. They were engrossed by InuYasha, chatting idly during Full Metal Alchemist, and by FLCL, Kim felt herself nodding off and shaking awake every couple of minutes.
Just before she fell asleep for good, setting her glasses on the window sill, Sarah ventured, "So- how's everything with Jared?"
"I think I'm going to date him," Kim said, voice uncertain.
"Okay. You're happy about that, right?"
"Yeah."
"Why do you sound so…? I don't know. You just seem a little mellow. More mellow than I'd guess you to be."
"I guess...I'm thinking about timing," Kim said vaguely. Sarah clicked off the lamp, so as Kim's eyes adjusted, her near-sighted stare watched the persistent blink of her friend's alarm clock's glow against the ceiling. "And Jared is very serious about us."
"Really?" Sarah seemed surprised. "How serious?"
"...Serious." Kim doubted that conversations about supernatural mate bonds would go over smoothly. "He's really serious."
"Like...what, like marriage or something?" Sarah's voice was now stunned.
"Maybe," Kim said, in that same vague tone. "Point is, it has me thinking about timing."
"Well, if he's really meant for you...he'll support you, wherever you guys end up. You have to do what you've worked hard for, too. You wouldn't stop him from playing football somewhere, so hopefully he wouldn't do the same kind of thing to you when it comes to your grades."
"Good point." Kim rubbed her eyes. "He's not going to college though."
"Oh." After a long pause- so long that Kim began to drift again- Sarah said, "Well, you always said you'd like to end up back here again. If he's supportive of you, and can wait? I don't think there'd be any issue then."
"True." Kim yawned loudly. "I get scared sometimes though. Like...how did this happen to me?"
"It's like something from a movie."
"Ugh, you're right about that." Kim laughed. She couldn't elaborate on that, but Sarah was spot-on.
"He does seem genuine. Not like I know him or anything but...seems different than how it was with the others."
She didn't reply. Instead, she checked her phone briefly. A message from Jared.
Jared Cameron: Switching patrol now. Night Kim. Have fun with Sarah. I'm here when you want to talk. You mean everything to me.
Kim's chest constricted.
Outgoing Text: Goodnight Jared. Stay safe. 3
She added the heart and tapped "send" before she could lose her nerve.
"I hope he doesn't mess up," said Sarah. Kim clicked her phone shut. "If he does, I'll...I don't know, spread some nasty rumors about him. He won't live down the crap I'd say."
"I know you got my back," Kim said fondly. She turned on her side, eyes feeling heavy. "Night, Sarah."
"Night, Kimmy."
When she awoke the next morning, a newfound sense of conviction was stirring in her veins.
What was so crazy about soulmates? Already she'd played into the Universe's hands- over and over- refusing to turn her cheek when fate dipped its fingers into her life. Why should she start now, when both she and Jared were invested in the possibility of a future? When...when they both were falling for the other?
She literally had his heart in her chest, at times. Why would she break both their hearts, out of cowardice?
Be bold, Kim. You are what your positive thinking manifests.
She left Sarah's at 10 AM, dialing Jared's number as she drove.
His sleep-muffled voice answered. "Kim?"
"Hi, Jared. Sorry to wake you up."
"Mmm. It's fine. What's going on?"
"Can I come to your house quick? I promise I won't stay long."
His attention suddenly jolted to life. "My house?"
"Yeah. I don't even have to come in, if you don't want. Just wanted to talk to you, in person." She swallowed against the buzzing, familiar feeling of reluctance that was fighting to surface. She squashed it down.
"No, you're welcome here anytime. I'll just-" she heard him rustling on the other end, like he was getting dressed quickly. "I'm getting up now. Come over, please. I'll see you when you get here." He recited his address, and then, a bit unsure sounding, asked, "Are you okay?"
"I will be. See you soon."
When she pulled up, her chest was full of anxiety- her own, and Jared's, she realized. They were two different kinds of anxiety. He was nervous, too. His face and stance read as much, as well. He stood halfway up the driveway, hands in his jeans pockets. She killed the engine midway up the concrete once she reached him.
She stepped out of the car. "Hi, Jared."
"Hey Kim." His voice was warm, even when his muscular body was rigid. "Can I…?"
She preempted his request by going to him. Her arms wrapped around his solid, muscular torso. Under her touch, he breathed out- relaxing. The anxiety didn't lift though.
Well, there was only one way to fix that. She swallowed, nerves jangling, but forced herself to pull back and look him in the face. The words burst out of her with one last concentrated effort toward gumption. "I needed to talk to you. I'm sorry if my face turns red, because I'm not going to stop talking til I've said what needs to be said, and if I stop, I'll second-guess myself so, just, like, here I go. I fell in love with you when we were in second grade. I waited my whole life for you to notice me. In a weird way, I loved you before I even liked you, because I didn't know you until this year. Really know you, I mean. And now that I do, I like you and I love you. I think you're even more amazing than the Jared I imagined. You are a good person, Jared. And I love how you make me feel and how you talk to me." She'd been thinking about this monologue in the car, but hearing it come out of her so fast and so breathless was surreal. She swallowed, suddenly at a loss, and concluded weakly, "I want to be your girlfriend. Your imprint. I'm happy to be your imprint, and imprint back on you if- if that's how it works. Because I trust you and like you and love you."
Kim suspected her cheeks were probably glowing with the heat of a meteor, but forced herself to look up into his face. The heaviness in her chest was mostly abated, and replaced with a fizzy joy.
Jared's eyes were so tender, and when he blinked, she thought she saw some moisture in them. Before she could question it, he leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. It felt like a promise, as his tongue touched hers and his lips moved against hers with reverence. She felt his hands- warm and solid- on her arms and felt a flood of warmth. Her protector.
The kisses subsided, eventually, but his lips still hovered near hers. "I love you, Kim." She felt the words against her own lips. "I will always love you, and will always make you glad that you accepted the Imprint."
"Do I return it, somehow? How do I do it?"
"You've already done enough, just by giving me this chance." The grin on his face was positively megawatt. "I'd keep making out with you, but I know my mom is probably watching from the window. And she's dying of suspense. She's wanted to meet you since the day I imprinted."
Kim hopped away, patting her hair. The November wind had whipped it up, and it hadn't looked very good to begin with. She looked definitively "post-sleepover" and the prospective of meeting Jared's parents sent a wave of mortification through her. "No, I can't! First impressions matter, Jared. I look tired and greasy."
"I didn't notice," he said honestly. "I think you look good."
"Well- thanks, but I want to feel put-together when I meet them." It felt strangely heavy, like meeting her in-laws for the first-time. Her breath caught when she realized- that was exactly what she was doing. At least, in Jared's mind. Or destiny's design. Or whatever. "Yeaaah. I want to look presentable. Not today. Please don't make me."
"Of course I won't," he said gently. "But now that we're official, she won't sleep until you come over for dinner. Do you have time this week?"
She thought for a moment. "This coming Wednesday?"
"She'll be thrilled." He stepped forward to kiss her again, like he couldn't resist. "I'm so happy, Kim."
And as Kim climbed into her car, watching Jared disappear in her rearview with that megawatt smile on his face, with both his and her own happiness purring in her chest, Kim realized: some crushes might end well, after all.
A/N: What did you think? It doesn't have to be the final chapter, depending on your thoughts. I am definitely open to adding some snippets – more smut and romance- from their future together...kind of like the first chapter-style, walking through their life together- but I'm happy with ending their main story at this point. What did you guys think? :) Which wolf pack member should be up next? 3
