Chapter 29
Warning: Contains suicidal themes. Doesn't actually happen, though.
Cronus opened his eyes to find himself on Prospit. He had been here before from sleeping, but it now he wasn't quite sure whether that backstab Meenah had given him had killed him or just knocked him unconscious. And yet he could feel a sensation on his cheek…? He smiled in delight. Meenah had kissed him! It didn't matter that it was her or any other troll, he was finally glad to be kissed! Not even his lusus had ever kissed him like that before! Despite having died, this was the happiest day of his life. Meenah, the high-class empress that outranked even a seadweller like him, had kissed him! Finally, all that searching for love was over, all of that desperate flirting finally gone! Finally, hope had—
And then rationality and common sense beat his romantic heart to death. Yes, she had kissed him. So what? She just did that because she felt sorry for him and maybe wanted him to live. Not even Meenah would kill in cold blood completely. Or maybe she would.
"Vwhat vwas I just thinking?" Cronus asked aloud. His search for love and purpose wasn't over. It was only a hopeless fancy he had imagined. Meenah loving him! As if!
He flew out of his room and flew out into Prospit. At least the bright Skaian atmosphere was there to cheer him up. He soared over the Carapacians without a care in the world, deciding to stop by the towers. Perhaps the other trolls were sleeping too? He checked Kankri, Porrim, and Aranea. All asleep. He didn't find Rufioh in his room, but Cronus had no interest in looking for him. He went to see Mituna next, hoping that perhaps his friend would be awake and they could chat. And maybe he could make a move on him as well, in some sort of subtle way. He had to try, right?
He found Mituna cuddling some sort of stuffed creature on the floor of his room, with Latula sitting on the floor with him and apparently trying to coax him to place the stuffed animal on a skateboard. Mituna seemed reluctant at first, but after a few gentle urges he placed the stuffed animal on the skateboard so that Latula could fly around with it and balance the animal on it. Mituna gasped when the toy suddenly tipped over and fell to the floor. Acting fast, Cronus dove into Mituna's room and caught, hoping to please Mituna by committing this act.
"GUUU0H? CR0NU5? Y0U 54V3D TH3 833! Y4444444Y!" Mituna cried excitedly, clapping his hands like a child. Cronus, having not yet known about Mituna's brain damage, was confused.
"Okay, yeah, I sawved your…bee, vwhatewver this is, so could you drop the act novw so vwe can chat? Plus it's not ewven vworking, Latula's still here. Vwhat are you doing here, anyvway?"
"1 w4s go1ng to 4sk you th4t s4m3 qu3st1on," Latula replied, standing up to face Cronus. "M1tuna's not 4ct1ng, 4nd h3's c3rt41nly not try1ng to g3t r1d of m3. 1f you w3r3 h1s fr13nd th4n m4yb3 you'd know th4t. Or would you r4th3r h4ng out w1th thos3 h1pst3rs on your pl4n3t?"
"Vwhat are you talking about?"
"M1tun4 told m3 4 l1ttl3 b1t b3for3 h3 got br41n-d4m4g3d by h1s D3n1z3n. 4 lun4t1c squ1d-cr34tur3 n4m3d Pror4 M3thos. 1 k1ll3d h1m, but 4ft3rw4rds 1 found M1tun4 l1k3 th1s 4ft3r w3 4ll bl4ck3d out—Kurloz w4s f1ght1ng w1th us too. 1'm not sur3 wh4t h4pp3n3d to h1m." Cronus wasn't sure what to say for a moment, but when he found his words he wasted no time saying them.
"Mituna fought a monster vwithout me, but he let you, some troll he just met, fight vwith him?! Vwe've known each other for svweeps and you'wve only just met him in this session! Vwhy vwould he leawve me behind like that?"
"m4yb3 h3 d1dn't w4nt you to f1ght. M4yb3 you w3r3 n3v3r m34nt to. From wh4t h3's told m3 4ll you'v3 b33n do1ng 1s h4ng1ng out. Fr4nkly 1t s33ms l1k3 M1tun4 1s mor3 of 4n 4cqu41nt4nc3 to you th4n 4 fr13nd or mo1r41l. B3s1d3s…h3 4nd 1 4r3 m4t3spr1ts now. 4nd M1tun4 n33ds m3 to t4k3 c4r3 of h1m now th4t h3's 1n th1s st4t3." Latula pushed Mituna behind her as he spoke, the latter looking confused and a bit worried. Cronus looked at how Mituna was now wearing a helmet, obscuring his face. He hadn't had that before, he noticed.
"So, look. 1 g3t th4t you l1k3d M1tun4 b3for3. But th3 on3 you kn3w w4s gon3 now. So, 1f you could just s4y goodby3 4nd…" Cronus snarled at her in response.
"NO! I vwill NOT say goodbye! You don't understand, and I highly doubt you ewver vwill despite vwhatewver cuddling sessions you may hawve had! Ewven if you story about Mituna getting brain damage is true—if you say his Denizen gawve it to him and it wasn't some messed up sex romp gone horribly vwrong, or some mental trauma you gawve him from showving some ugly part of your body—it still doesn't change wvho he is and the history he and I hawve had together! And he still recognizes me! You heard him say my name vwhen I came in! He still remembers me!"
"Wh4t 4r3 you t4lk1ng 4bout? M1tun4 h4rdly m3nt1on3d you 4t 4ll, just 4 f3w t1m3s! Wh4t fr13ndsh1p could h3 poss1bly h4v3 w1th 4 hop3l3ss rom4nt1c f1sh l1k3 you?!"
"One that, if you knewv about, you vwould respect," Cronus replied sternly. "VWhen Mituna vwas depressed, he would come and talk to me. VWhen he was tired or sick, he vwould come and talk to me. VWhen he was bored, he vwould come and talk to me. VWhen he felt like the vweight of the vworld vwas bearing dowvn on him, he vwould come to me. VWhen all hope for him was gone, he vwould come and talk to me. Later on he needed me less and less, but I was still the only friend he had, and he vwas my only friend. And I lowved him. He didn't, of course, but I came here hoping to change that. If you vwant to be Mituna's matesprit, vwell too bad! You're too late. Maybe this brain damage has given Mituna the insight he needs to realize just howv much vwe need each other. So if you vwon't leawve then you can just hand him over." Now it was Latula's turn to snarl.
"1 don't know wh4t go3s on 1n your s1ck, tw1st3d m1nd," Latula began, her rising voice sending Mituna scurrying to the back of the room, "But M1tun4 w1ll n3v3r l3t h1ms3lf b3 subj3ct to your s3xu4l f4nt4s13s. Do you th1nk you c4n just sn4tch h1m up from m3, th3 on3 who's b33n c4r1ng for h1m 4nd f1ght1ng w1th h1m 4ll th1s t1m3, so th4t h3 c4n b3 your pl4yth1ng? D1d 1t 3v3r occur to you th4t m4yb3 h3's h4d 3nough of your mop3y 4nt1cs, your rud3 4nd 4nt1soc14l b3h4v1or, your poor mus1c4l t4st3s, your bluntn3ss, 4nd th4t m4yb3 h3 chos3 m3 b3c4us3 h3 w4nt3d to b3 fr33 of your gr1p? No, Cronus, YOU'R3 th3 on3 th4t's too l4t3. 4nd YOU c4n b3 th3 on3 to l34v3. NOW."
Cronus was about to say more, but he and Latula were both caught off guard by blubbering from Mituna.
"PL3453 D0N'T F19HT. 1'M N0T W0RTH F19HT1N9 F0R," he whimpered. The other trolls turned to face him with sympathy.
"Yes, you are!" they both said. Mituna shook his head. "N0N0N0! 1'M N0T 1'M N0T 1'M N0T!" Cronus and Latula weren't sure what to make of this. They would rather have kept fighting, but there was something about his pleas that made them feel like they needed to reconsider. After a few moments Cronus turned around and faced the window.
"I'll go," he said reluctantly. "But don't think I hawven't giwven up."
"900D8Y3 CR0NU5!" Mituna called out as he left his tower. Cronus wanted to believe that it meant something, but after the argument he had Latula had it felt like nothing.
Thinking back to how that argument had gone—a fight over a mere person—it had to have been the beginnings of an ugly kissmesis. Anger had boiled up inside of him, not just in fierce want of Mituna but against Latula, this ugly, vile creature that had stolen from him what belonged to him, just when he needed it the most, when he was caught off guard. All this in addition to the lies she had weaved about a Denizen.
But none of it mattered, Cronus decided. What DID matter was the fact that now, for the first time in his life, Cronus was truly alone. He had experienced loneliness in the past in the form of isolation and tiny peer groups, but now those were all gone and loneliness had wrapped his cloak around him completely, its folds ensnaring him and its grotesque eldritch mouth consuming him.
Seeing no reason to linger on Prospit, flew upward into Skaia, gazing into the clouds. Was there any sort of inspiration or wisdom to be found there? Staring at it for only a few seconds, he found his answer:
"That's it! There is no ansvwer! All I need to do is kill myself!" Cronus exclaimed. And that was his wish, and so he plummeted back down, feeling the wind rush past his body and waiting for some sort of thud that would lead him home. But it never came. Instead, a voice spoke and stopped him a few yards above the ground, settling him down safely.
Only a few seconds of loneliness and you resort to this? The pain in your soul is certainly saddening, but the more I look at it the more I realize that most of it comes from the sickness you've left untreated. Allow me to inform you of the cure: everything has a purpose. Your friend figured this out in a difficult manner.
"Vwho is this? And vwhy do you care about me? Just let me kill myself and let me be done vwith it!" Cronus cried.
I would never allow that. But I will tell you my name: I am Trace, your exile for this game. I've been watching you, but it is only now at your lowest point that I can reach you. We're going to be taking a little journey, back into your past.
Before Cronus could protest he found himself flung backwards, back up into the air, then back down again, then back to Mituna's tower, then back to the other towers, then back to Meenah's world, then back to the jade mines, and all the way back to some point in time when he was just a single small cell.
Here is where we begin...
