Chapter Fifteen

Cash knocked again on Mandy's door, looking through the peep hole to see if he saw movement. He knew she was home. The desk security guy said he hadn't seen her leave in a few days.

"Mandy," he called out, loudly enough for her to hear but not the neighbors at the end of the hall. "Open the door. I know you're in there. Don't make me go down and get security to open it, because I will. You know I will."

She sighed heavily, knowing very well her brother's threat was real.

"Ok," she huffed, dragging herself off the couch. She had on a pair of light grey sweatpants and a white sweatshirt that had a ketchup stain on it from the last meal she'd had the night before. She'd made a hot dog that was in the freezer but as she took the first bite, it only reminded her of the last meal she'd had with Steve, which was the soggy hot dogs from the ice chest. She instantly lost her appetite and set it aside, laying back down on the couch and cried yet again.

She unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door, but didn't greet Cash, instead she just turned away and somberly walked back down the hallway from the foyer to the main living area.

He came inside and stopped halfway across the threshold, seeing her walking away in her baggy clothes and bare feet. Her hair in a ponytail that was barely holding it all together.

"What the hell," he whispered, closing the door as he followed her. The scent of the apartment made him cringe as well. It was stale smelling, and as he passed the usually pristine white kitchen, he saw a frying pan with what looked like a burnt garden burger in it and a package of hot dogs that had once been frozen but had defrosted and the condensation from them dripping on the floor from the counter. A bottle of ketchup next to them and four empty cans of diet coke.

Mandy laid back down on the couch and stared at the TV that had a commercial playing.

He came around the front of the sofa and stared at her.

"What is going on?"

She glanced up at him. "What? I'm just tired is all," her voice small and weak.

"You look like a rag doll that's been up in the attic for ten years," he chuckled slightly.

She didn't find it amusing at all and looked back at the TV.

He glanced at her immediate surroundings, seeing the hot dog with one bite out of it and some more diet coke cans. A box of tissues with several used ones that were discarded on the coffee table and floor.

He sat down on the table across from her. "What's up, Mandy? And don't tell me you're just tired. I'm about to call 911 or Belview mental ward if you don't fill me in. Are you having some kind of post traumatic experience or something from the storm and being stranded?"

She laid on her side and looked up at him with sad, bloodshot eyes. "No, I just want to be alone for a while."

"You are holding up in here like there's an apocalypse going on outside. Why are you so…" he shrugged, raising his hands, "depressed?"

"I'm not," she lied. "I'm just…" she too shrugged, "I don't know. I just want to stay home for a few days."

"This isn't staying home. This is hiding." His concern was beginning to mount. "I think maybe you are feeling some kind of post traumatic thing. Maybe you should go see someone," he suggested. "I've heard of stuff like this. People experiencing a life altering event and then it's like days later that they freak out. It happens to soldiers."

"Just leave me alone, Cash," she whined.

He stood up and took out his phone. "I'm calling, Dad." He hesitated and then thought of the one person who would understand post-traumatic stress more than anyone he knew. "No wait, I'm calling Steve. Maybe you need to talk to him about this. I'm sure he's dealt with this kind of shit before."

He started filtering through his phone for the number when she came off the couch in a flash and snatched the phone from his hands.

"Don't call him!"

He looked at her like she had lost her mind. "Why not? You need to talk to someone, and he'd be perfect for this. Who do we know that would be more experienced with that, and especially since he was there on the boat too?"

"No! Not Steve," her bottom lip began to quiver as the tears erupted in her eyes. "I can't talk to him."

"Why not?" He watched as she held his phone tightly in her hands and sat down, reaching for another tissue.

"I just can't."

He sat back down on the coffee table across from her with a stern look on his face. "What happened on the boat with Steve? And I want the truth this time."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the tissue, but said nothing.

Cash felt his stomach clench up as a thought crossed his mind, assured he was wrong and hoping to god that he was, but he had to ask just to be sure. This was his little sister and she was obviously torn up about something.

"Mandy, honey, Steve didn't…he didn't hurt you, did he? I mean, you know, hurt you?"

She looked up at him with an appalled expression on her face, "No! No, of course not!"

Cash let out a sigh of relief over that. He didn't think Steve was capable of anything like that, but then again, a lot of people that he'd trusted over the course of his life had disappointed him, but her shocked reaction was enough to convince him that she was telling the truth.

"Ok, good. I didn't think so, but…" he started to mention the accusations that had been thrown out there about Steve from his father and Bryce, when it suddenly hit him. He glanced around the room again at the used tissues and uneaten food and then back at her, seeing it clear as day now.

She wasn't suffering from post-traumatic syndrome; she was suffering from a broken heart.

"You told me that nothing happened between you and Steve on the boat, but that's not entirely true, is it?"

She stared at the floor, "He was good to me. He took care of me, and I took care of him." She thought of the first kiss in the galley and then the first time they made love during the rain storm.

"Did you sleep with him?"

She turned her head away, "That's none of your business."

"You did. I know it. I can see it all over you, because you fell in love too."

She hadn't wanted to talk to him about it, but now that it was out there it was almost a relief that someone else knew.

She broke down into a flood of tears, covering her face with her hands.

Cash couldn't help but smile, relieved that it wasn't actually the post traumatic syndrome. He moved over to the couch next to her and put his arm around her. "Hey, it's ok."

"No it's not," she sobbed. "It's horrible."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because," she sniffed, "he doesn't want to be with me now." The words stung even harder being said out loud as the tears erupted once again.

Cash felt a wave of anger over that, wondering if Steve had actually taken advantage of the situation of being alone with her. "What do you mean? Did he say that to you?"

She shook her head, "No, but we come from two different worlds. He could never be happy here and how could I ever fit in with his life."

"Have you talked to him about this?" he reached for a fresh tissue from the box.

"Yes, on the boat we talked about it." She took the tissue from him and dobbed her eyes with it.

"And…" he encouraged her.

"He doesn't want to come here. He wanted me to come to Hawaii."

Cash raised an eyebrow over that piece of information, pleased to know that Steve hadn't in fact used her if he had asked her to come to Hawaii.

"Well, that's good news. It means he cares enough about you that he wants you to come and live where he does."

"You don't understand." She came off the couch and walked toward the windows of her apartment that was on the seventeenth floor overlooking the Hudson River. "What would I do there? He would eventually get bored with me, the same as everyone else." She shook her head, "No, it's better this way. At least now I know he still respects me."

"Jesus, Mandy, will you stop thinking that you are not worthy. You are worthy! You're smart, you're fun, you're drop dead gorgeous, and that's coming from your brother."

"You say that because you are my brother, but look at everyone I have ever dated. The track record shows. They always end up dumping me because I'm boring."

"Bullshit!" Cash came off the couch, "You are not boring, you just don't…" he paused wanting to make his next words as direct as possible but afraid he might hurt her feelings too.

"I just don't what?" she asked, facing him now with the tissue up against her runny nose. "Say it. I just don't have anything to offer anyone!"

"That's not what I was going to say, but you're right, you don't. Not here with the people you associate with. You have nothing in common with Bryce, and Thomas was just a stuck-up snob that wanted you because you looked good in the family paintings."

"Gee thanks," she huffed, "that was awful sweet of you to say."

"No," he quickly explained himself, "what I'm trying to say is that you don't belong here, with us. You never have. You're a good person, Mandy and the people you get caught up with, well, most of them are not. I mean, look at me. I'm a self-indulging prick. I sleep around, all I care about is partying and having a good time. I'm a snob too. I have to live up to the standards and keep up with the Jones'. You on the other hand are far from it. You don't fall into the whole trap of wealth. You have never cared what people thought of you, hell you won't even smile on the red carpet, where most of our kind spend their entire year planning around it and making sure they look the part." He came up to her, "Do you see what I'm getting at? You are so much better than any of us."

She smiled slightly over his words but it didn't really help her situation. "But this is all I know. I could never relate to Steve's life or his friends. It might last for a while but in the end, I really don't fit in anywhere."

"I don't believe that and I bet Steve doesn't either. I can't imagine him not falling in love with you either. He's probably back in Hawaii feeling just as torn up over you as you are now over him."

She went over and sat back down on the couch. "Dad said that he wanted to go straight back to Hawaii after they picked him up. He chose not to come back to Rarotonga."

"He chose not to?" Cash questioned. "Ok, but I'm pretty sure they were closer to Hawaii than the Cook Islands when they picked him up. I don't think Steve has that much pull to tell a Navy ship where to sail."

She shrugged off that piece of information. It was inconsequential now. "Yes, but Dad also said that he asked for another fifty-thousand-dollar bonus for watching over me in those days after the storm. So, it was about money to him too."

"What?" Cash replied. "He did that?"

"Yes, and it's ok," she quickly defended him. "He deserved every penny. He wanted the money for his partner's daughter. He saved my life, twice. I don't regret anything that happened. He was good to me, very good to me and maybe in another life we…" she didn't finish that thought because it was nonsense, it was wishful thinking.

"I'm sorry, Sis. I wish I could say something to make it better but nothing can really cure a broken heart, except for time."

He stayed with her the rest of the day and into the night, sleeping on her sofa. By the time he left the next morning he felt he had done all he could to help her. The rest was up to time, or Steve.

…..

Steve slipped the headphone buds into his ear and pushed play on his phone. The song Mandy came on and he sat back in his oversized leather chair behind the desk in his office and closed his eyes, picturing his Mandy.

He listened to the words and it felt like the song had been written for him about her, making him feel even worse now than he had two minutes before. He regretted downloading it but he couldn't turn it off either, feeling as if it was his punishment for letting her slip away.

Danny came in his office and stopped abruptly at the sight of him sitting up in his chair with his eyes closed. He thought at first, he had fallen asleep, which would have been odd in itself, but then he noticed he had the headphones on. The moment was still not the norm for his partner. The only time he'd ever seen him with headphones on was when he would come back from a run.

Steve opened his eyes as the song came to an end and quickly removed the buds from his ears and flipped his phone over, hiding the tune from his partner. He wasn't sure which he would be more humiliated over, listening to a song named after her, or for downloading a Barry Manilow song, nonetheless, both would be embarrassing.

"What's up," he fumbled with the phone again, swiping away the iTunes app.

"What are you listening too? You looked completely absorbed."

"Oh this?" he motioned to the phone in his hand, "It's nothing."

"Did you download some songs? What'd you get?"

"Nothing," Steve said, slipping the phone in the side pocket of his pants. "Do you need something?"

Danny looked at him suspiciously as he walked toward him with a group of papers in his hand. "You need to sign off on these forms." He set them on his desk.

Steve glanced at them, trying to push his somber mood down to that place where he hid everything so well, and replace it with that unemotional stature that he had mastered throughout his adult life, but the transition this time was close to impossible, especially with that song haunting him.

"Yea, ok, just ummm…leave them. I'll get to them."

"You ok?" Danny asked.

"Yea," he gave him the best 'what are you talking about' face he could. "Of course. How you doing?"

Danny stood silent just staring at him wanting to say, 'how dumb do you think I am?' but held his tongue. "Why don't we go grab a couple of beers at JJ's. You still haven't filled me in on your little adventure at sea."

The idea of talking about her openly just brought up a whole new set of emotions that he wasn't about to reveal, not even to Danny.

"I don't think so. I'm kind of beat."

"From what?" Danny chuckled. "We haven't had a case since you've been back. I know paperwork sucks, but it isn't that exhausting."

Steve pushed his chair back but didn't get up. The toll of her being in his thoughts 24-7 and the misery that went along with it were beginning to wear on him, both emotionally and physically.
He didn't have say anything for Danny to pick up on the signs.

"You've been back to work for three days even though you had the next week sch off, and you've been cooped up in this office claiming that you're getting your paperwork under control, but now that I think about it," he looked around him at the filing cabinet and Steve's immaculately kept desk top, "I don't think I've seen a piece of paper on your desk except from me, Chin and Kono. So, what's up? Why don't you want to be at home, or taking the extra time to maybe go surfing, hiking, or any of those other things you call fun and I call chores?" He then asked the question that he'd been avoiding but also had been very curious over. "Did you ever get around to calling New York?"

The question was answered without even a word being spoken. The distraught look that came over Steve's face said all.

Danny pulled the chair over that was in front of his desk and sat down. "I take it by the look on your face that you made the call."

Steve shook his head, "I don't really want to talk about this, Danny."

"I know, maybe that's why we should."

"Seriously I…" he looked past Danny at Chin who was standing at his office door, relieved for the distraction. "Yea, Chin, what do you need?"

Danny turned in the chair, "Can this wait a few minutes?"

Chin looked a little surprised by the question but quickly caught on to the mood of the room and Danny sitting across from him, assuming he had interrupted an important conversation, hoping it was about why Steve was not himself since he'd been back. They had all noticed it but Danny seemed to have beat him to the punch of finding out why.

"Yes sure," he backed out the door. "Do want me to close this?"

"No," Steve answered.

"Yes!" Danny countered. "Please close it and give us a few minutes."

"Sure thing." He closed the door before walking back to his office with the unsigned papers in his hand.

Danny turned back around to Steve whose expression was anything but pleased.

"What, Danny? What do you want me to say? Yes, I did talk to her and no, it didn't end in the way that I hoped for. Ok? You happy now?"

"No, of course not, but it worries me because I think it's starting to affect your life more than you think."

"I'm fine," Steve argued.

"Are you sure, because you don't look it. You look beat up."

"Thanks, I appreciate that," he huffed.

"Look, I know more happened with this girl than you want to admit, and I'm just saying, it's ok if you want to talk about it, there's no shame in it."

"There's nothing to say. I told you already, she's in New York, and I'm here. End of story."

"So, you didn't talk about meeting up again, during your conversation?"

"We didn't really have a conversation so to speak, not on the phone."

"What do you mean, you said you talked to her."

"I texted her."

"You texted her!" Danny practically laughed. "Wow, isn't that romantic."

"I didn't want to hear her voice," he finally confessed in a somber tone, letting out a deep breath as he wiped his hands down his face. "I don't know Danny," he mumbled, "I don't know what I'm going to do about this girl." He leaned forward and crossed his arms on his desk and laid his head down on them. "I don't know what I'm going do. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't think straight." He sat up again and rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes. "I can't stop thinking about her." He looked across at him, his expression mirroring the way he felt inside. "I'm fucking miserable."

"I know, buddy," he replied sympathetically. "I know how you feel. I do, and it sucks."

"Does it ever go away?"

"No, not entirely, but it does become manageable."

Steve let out deep, agonizing sigh. "That's not very comforting."

"It's the best I got." He thought back to the day he met Mandy at the airport on Rarotonga. "It just seems odd to me."

"What does?"

"I mean at the airport after her rescue she just seemed so adamant about being there when you landed. She wanted to see you. I don't know what happened from then until you got picked up, but at that moment she was very worried about you."

"She was afraid to come here. She was afraid my feelings for her would change. She's smart, beautiful, fun to be with but her whole life she's been trying to live up to other people's expectations of her. It's made her self-conscious and vulnerable, but I think in those few days when it was just us, I saw a glimpse of the Mandy McKay she was born to be. I think she just got scared when she got back to reality. I can't force her to come here by trying to convince her things won't change. I just need her to trust me, and I thought she did, but she obviously changed her mind."

Danny nodded, getting a better view of the whole scenario now, feeling for his friend, knowing he had fallen hard and was falling even harder now that it was over.

Mandy stood in front of the full-length mirror and looked at her reflection.

She had on a long red dress that fit her figure perfectly. Her dark hair was in a beautifully done bun and the diamond studded earrings that Cash had given her for Christmas two years before sparkled.

She let out a heavy sigh and dropped her head, "I don't want to go," she grumbled miserably of the charity event that Cash had persuaded her to attend in hopes of getting her back to life again.

She heard her front door open and then her brother's voice call out her name.

"Mandy? You ready? The limo is downstairs."

"Yes," she answered, rolling her eyes, knowing it was better just to go and get it over with than to try and argue with him.

He stood at her open bedroom door and smiled. "You look beautiful, Sis. Let's go. The limo is double parked. If he has to move, he's going to have to drive around the park to get back here."

"I'm coming!" she snapped.

"Don't be so snotty," Cash fired back. "I'm just trying to help by getting you out of this tomb."

"I know," she said in more civil tone. "I'm sorry. I'm just…"

He came in and put his arms around her. "I know."

She rested her head on his shoulder telling herself not to cry, again.

"You'll have fun tonight, I promise."

She nodded and picked up her cell phone and put it in her Coach purse that was barely big enough to hold it. "I'm ready."

The ride to the event took less than fifteen minutes and the second she got out of the limo she wanted to crawl back in.

Cash smiled for the cameras as the photographers called out his name. Mandy kept her face turned toward her brother as he guided her from the limo to the entrance of the fancy hotel that was hosting the event.

"Miss McKay," one of them yelled out. "Can you tell us about your ordeal at sea? How did you survive the hurricane? Who was the man that saved your life?"

She looked over at him with a shocked expression as the lights from the cameras caught the image.

Cash knew that question was going to throw her into a spiral and quickly took over.

"Hey, that was uncalled for. My sister already said she doesn't wish to discuss the matter with the public. Let it go."

She felt like her head was spinning. How did they know about Steve? Cash held her by the arm as a waiting Bryce dashed down steps that led up to the entrance and put his arm around her waist, holding her steady as they all went up, entering the hotel together.

Once inside and shielded from the flashing lights, she moved away from both of them.

"I need a minute," she said, going toward a women's restroom.

"Mandy!" Bryce called out as he went after her. "Are you all right? I'll wait for you."

"No," she said, "you and Cash go ahead. I'll just be a minute."

"No, I think I should…"

"Please!" she said, looking at her brother for help. "I just need a minute."

"C'mon," Cash said, taking him by the arm. "Let her be. She'll be fine."

She went in the restroom and closed the door, glad that it was a single stall so she had some privacy.

She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes, fighting off the tears that were quickly forming.

Cash and Bryce began making their way up the wide marble staircase with the other guests to the second floor where the event was being held in the grand ballroom. He smiled and greeted a couple of people on the way but made it brief, glancing back at where he had left his sister.

Bryce stopped and looked back as well. "I should go back."

"No," Cash said adamantly. "You need to back off, Bryce. I told you before, she's not interested in going out with you."

"She obviously has some emotional scars from that experience. She needs to see a psychiatrist and get her head straightened out."

"She doesn't need a psychiatrist. She's not suffering from a nervous breakdown. She suffering from a broken heart, so just let her be."

Bryce stopped hallway up, "What do you mean," he asked shocked, "from that McGarrett guy?!"

"Yes. It's been hard for her, so just let her be."

"Him!" he snapped. "She fell in love with him?! Some blue color cop who doesn't even have the sense to increase his wealth when he has the chance. He's an idiot!"

Now Cash stopped and looked down the couple of steps where Bryce was standing. "What do you mean increase his wealth when he had the chance? What do you mean by that?"

"Your father offered him a bonus for saving Amanda's life and he turned it down. He didn't even want the original pay. The only reason he took the money for the job was because he was under contract. Your father had it deposited in his account. He didn't want McGarrett coming back in a year or two claiming he was never paid and sue for double. He practically forced it on him."

"You mean my father never gave Steve fifty thousand dollars for taking care of Mandy on the boat, or for saving her life?"

"No. That's what I'm saying. He's not too bright."

Cash had heard a different story from his father and from Mandy. He thought it unlike Steve's character from what he had known of him to demand the extra money. He also remembered Danny's adamant testimony too about his morals and integrity. He had a feeling this was his father's doing. It stunk of him.

He spoke aloud but wasn't necessarily talking to Bryce, he was putting the pieces together. "So, in the end, it wasn't about the money at all, it was about her. It was all about Mandy."

"What are you talking about?" Bryce asked.

"He fell in love with her. Otherwise, why would he turn down all that money?"

"I told you, he's not very bright."

"You're wrong. The guy played the genius move to get the girl."

Bryce looked at him like he was crazy, "What? I don't get it."

"And you never will, Bryce," he pointed out, "and that's why you don't have the girl." He turned and walked up the stairs in search of his father, leaving him behind.

Mandy came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and took a deep breath before going up the steps. She would have left if it weren't for the photographers just outside the entrance.

"I'm never going to get over him," she thought wearily.

"Amanda," she heard her name and turned, seeing a woman whose husband was friends with her father.

"Oh, hello Mrs. Gaines, how are you?" she approached her and gave the usual double-sided kiss.

"I'm fine darling, how are you? I heard about that unfortunate situation on your father's boat."

"Yes, it's all fine though."

"You must have been traumatized, and to be stranded with a complete stranger." She leaned in and spoke softly as if not wanting anyone else to hear. "I heard he was a civil service employee." She smiled proudly, "Our tax money finally paying off for once."

Mandy took that as an insult to Steve and immediately came to his defense. "Steve is a police officer with the state of Hawaii and a decorated Navy Seal. Your tax money had nothing to do with it. He does his job and helps people because that's the type of person he is. It's not about the money!"

She leaned back slightly, offended by the tone of Mandy's voice. "I'm sure he's an upstanding citizen, I was just stating that your father pays a lot of money in taxes and…"

"I know exactly what you were saying, Mrs. Gaines, and I find it offensive for you to not only think it but for you to say it. You are extremely naïve' if you think any police officer joins the force for the piddly money that your taxes pay them. They do it because they want to help people. Think about that next time you want to label them as," she used her fingers as quotes, 'civil service men and women'."

"Well," the woman stepped back, "haven't you become the martyr for the other half. Correct me if I'm wrong but did you not arrive tonight in a limousine and I'm sure you had your house cleaned today, so don't look down on me Miss McKay." She turned on her heal as her long designer gown flowed with her and stormed up the stairs.

"Maybe I did," Mandy called out to her, raising her voice as the woman walked further away, "but they are people just like you and me, well maybe not YOU" she said as if that was a horrible thing, "but like me!"

The woman stood at the top of the stairs and glared down at her with her lips tightly pursed together and then stomped off.

Mandy let out the breath she'd been holding and looked around to see if anyone else had heard the scolding. A middle-aged couple walked past her just then, giving her a side glance as if both of them praying she wouldn't engage them as well.

She didn't care if they thought she was crazy or that the outburst was out of place, she was out of place, so to her it fit just right.

She didn't regret one word she had said, but at the same time, stunned that she had said it at all. She didn't know what came over her. She felt like she wasn't just defending Steve, but Danny and Chin and Kono too, as well as Frederick. As far as she was concerned, they had more class in their right pinky finger than Mrs. uptight Gaines could ever buy with all of her millions of dollars.

As she came up the steps, she began to feel a sense of accomplishment for finally standing up and voicing her opinion. It was incredibly liberating.

She entered the opened doors of the elegantly decorated ballroom and scanned the room, searching for Cash when she spotted the woman speaking to her father. They both looked in her direction and Mandy stood frozen to the floor, seeing her father's stern look that frightened her since she was a child.

He put his hand on the woman's arm as if comforting her and then began to make his way in her direction, the stare almost made her regret her words. But as he neared, she found that inner strength once again, and straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. She wasn't a child anymore.

Peter came up and abruptly took her by the elbow. "What is the matter with you, speaking to Patricia that way? She was deeply offended by your remarks!"

"She offended me too, or doesn't that matter?"

"I want you to apologize to her, right now!"

Mandy pulled her arm away, "I will not. I meant every word I said."

"Amanda, I want…"

She didn't let him finish, instead she walked away.

"Amanda!" she heard the low growl of his voice but she kept moving deeper into the crowd.

She found a safe spot by a table in the corner that was being used for a raffle later in the evening, but at the moment it was a quiet place for her to stand and not be noticed. She shouldn't have come. She didn't belong here anymore; she was sure of it now.

She glanced around the room at the people as they greeted each other with fake kisses and firm handshakes. The men drank expensive scotch and brandy from crystal rocks glasses and the women held glasses of wine, always with their left hand, to show off the extravagant diamond rings that their husbands had bought them.

She never understood why they would want something so big and gaudy on their hand all day long. She would find it a nuisance.

She thought of her mother's wedding ring that was elegant but didn't scream for attention like the ones in this room. It fit exactly who her mother was too. She was confident in her skin and didn't need the approval of others.

Mandy bent her head and closed her eyes, picturing her and her mother at events like this one when she was a little girl and being introduced to the society side of wealth. Cash was always the center of attention and thrived on it, while she was glued to her mother's side, not liking the attention at all.

She glanced around the room again and spoke to her mother as she often did in her thoughts.

'I wish you were here. I miss you. You always knew what to say to make me feel better. Although I don't think anything you could say would make me feel better tonight.'

Her mind drifted to Steve again for the hundredth time that day and their last night together. When thinking of that moment she always reverted back to their love making or the last moments during the argument, or when she saw him for the last time, looking up at her as they took her away. He was so sad. The tormented expression would always hold a place in her heart, because at that moment she knew that he still wanted her, and his text that told her he would always be there for her was comforting too.

"Welcome everyone to the Fairfield Yacht Club's annual charity dinner and auction," the DJ blurted out. "We have a spectacular event for you this year with good music, great drinks and even better food. I'm here to inspire you to pull out your wallets, open the Coach purses and place a bid on something that catches your eye, and remember this is for the kids at East Side Rec Center so bid high. Let's give the kids a place to go after school and keep them off the streets."

'I feel lost Mom. I don't know what to do.'

"I even saw something that sparked my attention," the DJ went on. "A house in Malibu for two weeks, right on the beach. This is your chance to get the kids out of your hair and send them to California for two weeks with the nanny." The crowd murmured with laughter.

'I don't belong here. I'm not sure where I belong. I wish you were her to tell me what to do. What should I do mom?"

"Let's get the party started with some inspiration to get you motivated to bet high on that beach house. Everyone loves the beach! Here's a classic we all know by heart."

Mandy felt the hair on the back of her neck rise, as the first cords of Surfin U.S.A. began to flow from the speakers.

Her thoughts were instantly filled with the day she and Steve danced to that song. It was what led to the kiss which was the start of what would become the happiest four days of her life. She felt her heart fill with a warmth that was the same feeling she had when he took her in his arms, or the way he would look at her when they spoke. He listened, he always listened to what she had to say. He respected her, but more than anything else, he challenged her the way no one else ever had. Challenged her to live life. To take chances.

He encouraged her like someone who cared for her would, or maybe even loved her.

'All over La Jolla,' the Beach Boy's sang, 'and Waimea Bay.'

She felt her body moving forward as if being pushed from behind. There was no mistaking what she had to do. It was suddenly crystal clear and filled her with a sense of urgency. "Oh my god," she said out loud. "I have to go. I have to go!" The urge became overwhelming.

She made her way through the crowd in a blissful daze, having only one thing on her mind.

"Mandy!" Cash called out, making his way over to her. "There you are. I was looking for you."

She turned and faced him; her eyes sparkling with excitement over her plan. "I'm leaving."

A distraught look came over him, "You just got here. Stay just a little longer. We'll bid on some stuff."

"No," she smiled, "you don't understand. I'm leaving New York. I'm going to Hawaii."

His face lit up almost as much as hers'. "I think that's a great idea."

"I have to see him, Cash. I love him," she declared as tears filled her eyes. "I love him."

"I know you do, Sis."

"Do you think I'm crazy for going?"

"No! I think it's the smartest thing you've ever done."

"What if he doesn't…" she paused, catching her breath. "What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"If he doesn't, then you are no worse off than you are right now. But I know that he does, otherwise why would he turn down the $50,000 that Dad offered him?"

Mandy tilted her head just slightly, "What?"

Cash smiled cunningly, "Steve didn't ask for the money like Dad said he did, he offered it to him and Steve turned it down."

Her mouth dropped open in shock over that news. "He did?"

"Of course he did. He didn't want the money. He wanted the girl."

The moment became even sweeter for her and heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. "I have to go, now!"

He put his arms around her and hugged her. "Dad's going to have a fit about this, but don't you dare give up your dream for him. Do you hear me?"

"Yes," she hugged him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Sis. Good luck."

She smiled and turned, practically running for the exit.

She came down the marble steps in her four-inch heels, clasping her clutch purse in her hand, feeling like she was three feet off the ground.

"Amanda!" her father called out from the top of the stairs.

She turned and looked up at him as he started down.

"What has gotten into you? You've been acting like a crazy person."

"I am crazy," she laughed. "I'm crazy in love and you lied to me. You told me Steve demanded that money for watching over me, but it was lie. You tried to buy him off, didn't you? And then you lied to me about it."

"I did it for you," he stood perfectly erect three steps above her. "I did it to stop you from making a huge mistake."

"The only mistake you made was trying to keep us apart."

She turned and started back down the stairs.

"Amanda, come back here right now so we can discuss this."

"Too late, I have a plane to catch."

She ran for the doors, escaping the prison that had held her captive her whole life. It was the most liberating feeling she'd ever experienced.

She came out the door and quickly down the outside steps, searching for their limo driver when suddenly flashes of light began to blind her.

"Ms. McKay," the photographers shouted, "look this way! Over here!"

She kept walking but finally gave them what they had been asking for. She turned toward them with a huge smile and held up her left hand and waved the shaka, "Aloha!" she shouted. She paused for an extra moment while the photographers fought over each other to finally get a clear picture of her. She smiled brightly because she knew it would be their last chance, ever.

She jumped in the back of her limo and leaned forward talking to the driver. "Take me home please." She sat back in the seat and then quickly leaned forward again. "No, wait! Take me to Kennedy airport instead."
….

Danny leaned into Steve's office and pointed over his shoulder toward the others who were already gathered around the computer table.

"Hey, we're going to have to postpone that beer at JJ's. We caught a case. A body washed up over by Makana Beach."

Steve pushed back from his desk, actually glad for the case. He needed a distraction to keep his mind off of Mandy McKay.

They came out to the main area with Chin and Kono who were already starting the investigation.

"Male," Chin began, "approximately twenty to thirty years old, wearing board shorts and nothing else. No rings, no tattoos or other physical markings on the body. HPD says it looks like a drowning, maybe a tourist, but there haven't been any missing person reports filed."

"I'm running prints that they got off the body," Kono said. "So far nothing."

"Do they know how long the bodies been in the water?" Steve asked.

"A couple of days," Chin responded. "Coroner is on his way over."

Steve felt his phone buzz in his pocket, assuming it was his call for the case, but as he pulled it out the name that appeared on the screen was the last person he was expecting a call from.

His heart began to beat rapidly seeing Mandy's name. The first few seconds he was overjoyed, but then it turned to concern, hoping she was ok.

He held it up to his team, "I have to take this." He turned away from them, taking a couple of steps out of earshot and answered.

"Hello?"

Hearing his voice sent her own heart racing. "Hi."

"Hey, are you ok?"

She smiled over his concern. 'Always the protector,' she thought.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you a question."

He smiled, pleased that she was ok and intrigued over what she would call to ask him. He didn't care what it was, hearing her voice was like a gift. "Ok, what is it?"

"When we were on the boat, you said that I needed to find out who I was and what I wanted, and to stop being afraid to let go of my life and to start living it."

He cringed slightly, recalling those words the last night he had seen her. "Yes, I remember, and I think maybe I was being a little harsh."
"No you weren't, it was perfect," she admitted. "You were being honest with me. But you also said that you would stand by me if I chose to step out of my life. Was everything you said true, or were you just saying it because we were in the moment?"

"I've never lied to you, Mandy, and I never will. I meant every word of it."

She bit her bottom lip, hearing exactly what she wanted to hear. "I'm glad you said that, because I did. I left my life behind and it wasn't all because of what you said, but it was because of you."

He could barely contain the excitement over those words. "Where are you? You can come here you know. You can come to Hawaii."

"Can I, are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm very sure. Just tell me when?"

"How about now?"

He heard her voice but it didn't come from the phone, it came from behind him.

He turned around and she was standing in the hall by the entrance holding her phone. She wore jean shorts and a blue T-shirt with the word 'Aloha' printed across the front in rainbow colors. Her long dark hair hung straight. She had never looked more beautiful to him.

He didn't say a word as he walked toward her, knowing how much he had missed her but never realizing just how much he loved her too, until that very moment.

He saw the tears in her eyes and a slight apprehension in them as well, assured it was due to her surprise entrance, but he eliminated it the second he wrapped his arms around her and held her. It was the same warm embrace that she had encountered the last time she had seen him while standing on the deck of the boat just before they took her away.

"I missed you," he whispered to her.

She could barely get the words out amongst her joyful tears, "I missed you too, so much." She felt the embrace tighten, telling her how much he enjoyed hearing that.

"I can't believe you're here." He moved back just slightly so he could see her, cupping her face in his hands. His thumb brushing away a tear as it dripped out of her eye. "I've been miserable without you." He chuckled slightly over his heartfelt confession, feeling his own emotions getting the better of him. "Absolutely miserable."

"Me too," she smiled. Her eyes displaying exactly what she felt in her heart at that second as she gazed at him. "I was at this charity event last night just feeling lost and looking around the room and knowing I didn't belong there, and then out of nowhere the DJ started to play Surfin U.S.A."

"Our song," Steve grinned.

"Yes! And everything suddenly became so crystal clear. I just knew I had to get out, and there was only one place I wanted to be. So, I left there, and went straight to the airport."

"And came here?" he asked in wonderment.

"Yes."

He was proud of her for making this life altering choice that she deserved, and overwhelmed with joy that she wanted to share it with him. It was as if his prayers had been answered. He looked at her with pure admiration before he kissed her.

The kiss proved to her without a shadow of a doubt that she had made the right choice and he was without a doubt pleased to see her.

He hugged her again and stepped back, letting his hand slide down her arm, grasping her fingers. "Come on, I want you to meet everyone."

He turned around to introduce her to his family but they had all scattered, giving the surprise reunion some much needed privacy.

He smiled and called out, "You can come out now."

One by one they all came out of their offices with wide, teasing grins, never seeing Steve interact like that with a woman before.

They all knew right off the bat that she was someone special, because being affectionate was not on the top of the list of words when describing him, yet they all knew he had it in him, impressed by Mandy to bring it out so easily.

"Hi, Danny," Mandy said as he approached her. "Nice to see you again." She reached out her hand for a formal greeting but was pleasantly surprised when he hugged her.

"Good to see you too," he said and then whispered in her ear, "He's been miserable without you."

She blushed slightly and smiled as he pulled away, getting a quick wink from him too.

Steve put a hand on her back and motioned to Kono first.

"Kono, this Mandy, Mandy this is Kono."

Kono too stepped up and gave her a nice hug, "Aloha, welcome to Hawaii."

"Thank you so much."

He then turned to Chin.

"Aloha, I'm Chin Ho Kelly, good to meet you, Mandy." He also hugged her.

"It's nice to meet both of you as well. Steve spoke so highly of you. He really admires and respects you both so much."

They both looked over at him with pleasantly surprised expressions.

"What?" Steve replied. "Maybe I don't say it to your face, but I do say it."

"How long are you in town for?" Danny asked her.

Mandy looked at Steve and shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I haven't really thought that part through yet."

Steve ran his hand down her hair, "We can talk about that but right now we just caught a case before you walked in," he said disappointed. "I have to work, but you…"

"No, you don't," Danny interrupted, "technically you're still on PTO for another week, so go. We can handle this."

Normally he would have argued the situation, but in this case, he was happy to go along with that plan. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Danny waved him off. "Go, enjoy."

"Ok then, thanks guys."

He turned to Mandy, "I guess I'm all yours."

She liked the sound of that. "I guess the first thing I should do is find a place to stay."

"Well then," Steve grinned, "let's go to my house and we can talk about that."

She liked the sound of that even better. "Ok."

…..

Mandy pulled up next to his truck in front of his house in her rented sedan after following him home from the office.

She looked out the windshield at the white single-story home with the red roof and white picket fence.

"It's perfect," she whispered.

Steve opened her door as she got out. "Pop the trunk and I'll grab your bag."

"Well actually," Mandy chuckled, "I don't really have any luggage. I left the charity event and went straight to the airport and caught a flight to LA and then picked up these clothes and a few essentials at the airport." She pointed to the small tote bag that contained her dress and high heels from the night before and a traveling toothbrush set.

"You mean you actually went straight from the airport to here?"

"Yes, I was in too much of a hurry to go home and pack."

Those words flattered him beyond belief. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her close up against him, "You really did miss me, didn't you?"

"Yes, very much."

He kissed her for that, still feeling a little surreal that she was even there.

He reached across the driver's seat and grabbed the tote bag and then took her hand, guiding her up through the gate to his front door. He had been so happy and excited that she was there that he hadn't even thought about her coming to his house for the first time until he fumbled with the lock and opened the door. He wasn't so worried about it being clean enough as he was over the size and the modest contents of it, assured she was used to a much higher standards of luxury than his humble domain.

She followed him inside and he tossed his keys on a small table by the closet and set her bag down next to it.

"Well, this is home," he announced a little nervously. "Family room, it's kinda small," he said sheepishly, and then pointed to the stairs. "Up there is my room, a guest room and two bathrooms." He moved on to the kitchen. "Kitchen," he looked at the older appliances. "I'm going to remodel it with new appliances and cupboards, I just haven't got around to it yet. The whole house needs a paint job too."

"Stop," Mandy said, putting a hand on his arm. "Stop making excuses for your house. You don't need to change anything." She looked around the kitchen and out the window to the ocean off the backyard. "It has so much charm, and it feels like a great place to come home to. I felt comfortable the second I walked in."

"You did?" he smiled.

"Yes. This is your home and it's just exactly as I imagined it would look and feel. I love it."

He moved up close to her, taking a handful of her hair in his hand as he let it slide through his fingers. "I'm glad you said that, because I want to you stay here with me, if you want, but the invitation is there for as long as you can stand me."

She put her hands around his waist. "Thank you, I'd like that very much."

He couldn't believe his good fortune, just hours earlier he was a tortured man and now here he was, standing in his kitchen face to face with whom he could only describe was the love of his life. She had been the one that he thought had got away, but he was going to make damn sure that he didn't make that mistake again.