Chapter 48

After days of training and climbing up her echeladder, Meenah finally went to bed, confident that she was the most powerful troll in the session. Whale, there was still Aranea and her being God-tier and all, but she wouldn't fight. They were fronds, and fronds never directly fought each other. Just indirectly with assassins and such. And since Meenah didn't have any assassins, she couldn't really strike back at Aranea.

As she drifted off to sleep, Serket was the last conscious thought on her mind. What had happened to them? Their friendship had been tossed about like waves, and now it was to the point where Aranea didn't even trust her anymore. Didn't Aranea realize that together they could be an unstoppable force? With Meenah's power and Aranea's brains, there was nothing that could defeat them, especially if they were able to take control of the rest of the grouper. Waterever it took, Meenah promised herself to try and mend ties with Aranea, if she could find the time.

. . . . .

"She's here, Kurloz!" DD cried. "Get ready to wait for her."

"GOOD MOTHAFUCKIN' LUCK," Kurloz said to the Dignitary.

"You, too. Hold her off for as long as you can. And then when we have the ring, you can finish her off, if you'd like. Or leave her alive, it won't matter for Jack once he has the Ring's powers." Kurloz nodded and went off, tired of speaking telepathically. It was so creepy how DD knew without even being able to do it himself…

The troll and the carapacian went their separate ways, the former heading to the Dersite space port and the latter heading to the other side of the planet to take off in a private ship that had previously belonged to the King that was capable of traveling underwater.

The Dignitary let Courtyard Droll and Hegemonic Brute come with him while Jack impatiently stayed behind to wait. Derse normally had at least one ruler on-planet, so if Jack stepped for just a minute the whole place could go up in a panic. But as long as he stayed the war with Prospit would continue.

"Have you got the suits?" The Dignitary asked CD as he approached the ship. Droll withdrew some scuba suits and gear.

"Yep, I got the suits!" he cried happily.

"Good. Don't bleed on'em."

"Now let's get going! I wanna swim in fuchsia seas," Hegemonic Brute said. "And smash Meenah with the Hammer of Love. I haven't gotten to use that thing since Act 1. Heck, I haven't even been in the story since Act 1! What I have I even been doin' all this time?"

"The same thing as me, HB! Nothing!" CD declared. "But at least we get to do something now!"

"Enough fourth wall banter, you two," DD ordered. "We've got a Ring to steal."

They would have all looked stupidly into the camera/at the viewers after that, but thankfully this is just a written fanfic, so there isn't one.

Around the same time, Kurloz sneaked over to the Dersite space port, waiting for Meenah to arrive. He briefly saw Damara coming in on another ship and knew something was…off about her. Where had she come from? And what had she been doing?

"DO YOU SERVE THE LORD OF TIME?" Kurloz asked her telepathically. But Damara didn't seem to hear him.

YES, SHE IS ANOTHER OF MY SERVANTS. YOU WILL MEET AGAIN SOON.

Damara caught Kurloz noticing her and she proceeded to fly away, trying to pretend like nothing had happened. But then she looked back at Kurloz and noticed he was giving her a thumbs up.

HE IS ANOTHER SERVANT. LEAVE THIS PLACE, Lord English told her. GO TO THE BARD'S WORLD AND WAIT FOR HIM. ALL THE OTHERS WILL SOON BE GATHERED THERE. BUT FOR NOW THE WITCH AND THE PRINCE MUST DO BATTLE.

Damara understood what was going on and flew off. Minutes later, Meenah arrived to speak with one of the Dersitses who managed the ships leaving and going to the Battlefield and the other planets. He sat behind a little desk and had a computer which apparently managed the comings and goings.

"Greetings, Thief! What can I do for you?" he asked kindly.

"Gotsam a bottleship I can breach a ride on to the Battlefield?" Meenah asked.

"Eh, what?"

"DO YOU HAV—E A SHIP I CAN BOARD?!" Meenah yelled, assuming that his problem was that he couldn't hear her.

"I can hear you fine, I just didn't understand your…slang," the Dersite explained.

"Oh. Sorry, I yelled," Meenah replied awkwardly. After checking his computer, the Dersite replied, "The next ship to the Battlfield leaves in a few hours. I don't know how comfortable you would be sharing a ride with the troops, but if you'd like I can designate you as a vital passenger—perhaps a military advisor—and then you'd be able to have a seat away from the troops. For a small fee of 140 boondollars, I…wait, where'd you go?"

. . . . .

Kurloz had tackled Meenah to the ground and was about to swing at her with his Cringe Inducer (his battleaxe, remember?) when Meenah quickly kicked herself off of him.

"Water you here for? Wade, don't tell me, you want revenge for when I krilled Meulin!" Meenah chuckled. "Good luck with that."

"YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HER, MEENAH! BUT NOT JUST YET." Kurloz told her. But of course she didn't hear because she wasn't telepathic or receptive to telepathy like DD was.

Meenah immediately tried to jab at Kurloz with her trident when he was on the ground, but the Prince rolled out of the way and got back up, grabbing his battleaxe and swinging it straight at Meenah's neck at a suspiciously slow rate. With her quick reflexes she dodged it by ducking her head slightly, jabbing its head with her trident when Kurloz tried to decapitate her again. While Kurloz was stunned Meenah thrust her trident into his stomach, her weapon's prongs getting dipped in his purple blood. Kurloz quickly kicked her in the stomach to knock her away, wrenching in pain from the way the trident had thrust itself out of him, eyeing Meenah closely. Meenah took the opportunity to try and bludgeon Kurloz with the side of her trident, but he noticed just in time and blocked her attack with the handle of his battleaxe, swinging it only to force her back again.

Meenah squinted in mistrust at Kurloz.

"What the shell's goin' on? You ain't fightin' bight. Just flondering around." Kurloz only smiled at her in response. This only made Meenah angrier, and she tried multiple times to jab at Kurloz some more, only for him to block each and every time—even when she tried to switch sides on him unexpectedly!

Something was up, she knew. Meenah figured that if she couldn't fight Kurloz in a fair fight, then maybe it was best to switch to a different tactic. So she leaped forward, feet first, and kicked Kurloz in the face, using his bruised head as a boost for her to jump forward behind him. When she hit the ground she ran off, leaving Kurloz no option but to give chase.

. . . . .

Meanwhile on LOMAD, 3 of the 4 members of what would one day become the Midnight Crew in another universe were navigating their submarine through the dark purple waters of Meenah's Sgrub planet.

"Wow! It's like trying to swim in grape juice!" Courtyard Droll cried.

"Or a fine, aged wine," the Dignitary corrected him, too classy to drink such a childish, although admittedly delicious, drink.

"So when do we get to her hive?" Hegemonic Brute asked them. "I, uh, suppose I should of gone before we left, but…I gotta go to the bathroom." DD sighed.

"Just go in Meenah's hive. I'm sure Damara will be happy. But if you get your piss on the ring…"

"Ew, I wouldn't do that!"

"Sure you wouldn't." DD left the controls to CD (yes, he trusted him well enough, the little one wasn't that incompetent) while he went to use his walkie-talkie in private to contact Kurloz, although in reality he was just tired of driving and wanted a break.

"How goes the fight?"

"SHE HAS GIVEN CHASE, AND I'M AFTER THE BITCH WITCH," Kurloz replied.

"How very clever of you to give her that nickname," DD said, having difficulty hiding his sarcasm. "We're not there yet, so let her stall you as long as she likes."

"SHE SUSPECTS ME, THOUGH."

"Doesn't matter, though. Just don't let her stab you in the stomach too much."

"OK. I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, BROTHER," Kurloz promised before continuing his pursuit.

"Huh. Wonder what he means by 'again'. Did that idiot think letting Meenah stab him would help the fight go along? Hopefully he's learned from that. Let me tell you, if I was one of those kids…"

"Tell me what?" HB asked, overhearing only the last part of the conversation.

"Absolutely nothing," DD replied. HB rolled his eyes.

"There you go again with your smooth talk and so-called class! You have about as much class as my ass!"

"Hehehe, that rhymes!" Droll giggled. DD facepalmed.

"What am I going to do with you two?"

. . . . .

Kurloz continued to chase after Meenah, following her as she flew over buildings (remember, it's Derse, so everybody can fly!) and waited for her opponent in the sky. Kurloz flew up to meet her, swinging his axe wildly but being sure to leave Meenah a few openings. She took the bait and tried to throw her trident at him from above, only for him to strafe out of the way sending her weapon clanging to the ground below, nearly impaling a watching Dersite.

"HOW MUCH LONGER UNTIL YOU GET THE RING?" Kurloz asked DD frantically as he zoomed in on Meenah.

"We're at her hive. Give us a few minutes, and then we'll be out of your way." Kurloz swung his battleaxe at Meenah, giving her just barely enough time to dodge while she pummeled him in the face a few times, hurling him down to earth so that he crashed on her weapon. Meenah then slammed back down with him, crushing his back.

"Don't hurt yourself too much," the Dignitary advised. "Just keep holdin' her off. We're searchin' the rooms now."

He and the others were dressed in scuba gear and wetsuits, swimming through the water with ease.

"Hey, guys, I think I found it!" Hegemonic Brute declared. "No, wait, that's just some cheap plastic. She's got a million rings in here, boss!"

"Keep searchin'!" DD cried before suspending his telepathic connection with Kurloz. Yes, that is most definitely a thing… at least in this fanfic.

Kurloz then kicked off Meenah from him, making sure to grab her weapon as she was sent flying. Meenah gained control of herself just before crashing into a wall, and lunging back at Kurloz, who held her weapon just out of her reach.

"GIMM-E BACK MY 'D-ENT, YOU PUNK!" Meenah cried, trying to grab it back only to be knocked away by Kurloz's battleaxe.

But how much longer could he hold her off?

Meanwhile, Draconian Dignitary searched with his crew as best as he could through Meenah's vast purple and gold mansion. He looked behind every statue of her, every gilded bathroom, every movie room, and every inch of her luxurious hive. Despite finding numerous rings, he could not find The Ring that Jack needed.

"Might just have to give up," DD said to himself, when suddenly…

"BOSS! I FOUND IT! IT WAS ON HER FINGER THE WHOLE TIME!" Courtyard Droll cried, dragging an unconscious Meenah from her bedroom to the living room where he was searching. The Ring was right on her finger, just where DD had suspected she wouldn't have put it.

"Well…that was…predictable. Good work, CD. Let's blow this joint!" he told his crew. And so they swam back to their sub and left.

"Kurloz, we're done! Do what you want now. We'll be gone by the time she wakes up."

When Kurloz heard this, he glared at Meenah as she tried to fight him off. She stood still, frozen in fear.

"Lemme guess," she began. "You been workin' with Aranea?"

Kurloz shook his head.

"And she—or he-kept shellin' you to hold off on krillin' me?" Kurloz nodded.

"And now you just got the order to fin-ish me off?" she asked. Kurloz nodded. Meenah scowled in response.

"AW, SH—ELL NO!" she cried. And then the reel battle began.

Kurloz first grabbed Meenah's trident and stabbed her in the arm with it, aiming for her chest but missing because she had just enough time to get out of the way, at least partially. Meenah kicked him in the stomach—the groin wouldn't have worked because…trolls don't have those!—and Kurloz cringed for just one vital second, giving Meenah enough time to grab her weapon from him before they started exchanging attacks, none of them hitting because they were still too evenly matched. But Kurloz was more aggressive, attacking with more ferocity despite Meenah's blows being faster. This went on for minutes, and the battlers began to grow a little weary, occasionally taking each other's hits until they each had a few scars from each other's weapons. But Kurloz was a bit hardier than Meenah and could last a bit longer. So, after a long and nearly even duel, Meenah finally slacked off just enough for Kurloz to drive the blade of his battleaxe into the side of her neck, making her bleed a little bit at the throat. Meenah responded by stabbing her trident straight at his chest. Now both of them had slow—but fatal—wounds.

"Dam…you're good. But I'm better cuz' I'm batter," Meenah boasted, even though the fight was clearly a draw. But then Meenah's phone vibrated from the folds of her Dersite robe. She found that she had a text from Aranea.

"Speakin' of batter…gotta go make a cake now," Meenah told Kurloz.

"THEN ALLOW ME TO ASSIST YOU," he said, decapitating her with his battleaxe just before he bled to death.