Chapter 50

ACT 3 INTERMISSION

Things had been too quiet at the Felt Mansion for quite some time. Most of the members had been taking turns at sentry duty or just looking in vain at their patron trolls, powerless to help them. Crowbar had stopped caring about Meenah's safety, but he felt proud of her since she was the only one that didn't let herself get tangled up in that mess Aranea had made for everyone else.

"How's it going over there, Quarters?" Crowbar asked through his walkie-talkie (all the Felt members had one). Quarters was on his shift, and his machine gun made quite the guard. Doze was on sentry duty with him, but it was mainly because he had little else to occupy his time with.

"Still all clear. No sign of anybody," Quarters replied. Crowbar found it odd that as soon as he had finished speaking, there was this odd rustling sound on the other end.

"Quarters? Quarters? Eh, whatever. Probably just dropped his walkie-talkie over the balcony or something stupid like that," Crowbar supposed.

. . . . .

But if he had been over there, Crowbar would have seen that something much worse was unfolding, and it was happening so quickly that there was very little time to react.

Diamonds Droog, on the ground in front of the mansion, reloaded his sniper rifle while Quarters tried to shoot at him with his machine gun. He had to run to avoid the bullets, because everybody knew that you could dodge machine gun bullets if you just outran their line of fire. At least, that was how it worked in Samurai Jack. When he was done reloading he shot Quarters in the stomach. He would have preferred to shoot the head, but when he had missed just seconds before he had blown his opportunity to do so successfully. Quarters reeled back while Doze's jaw slowly dropped in shock at what was unfolding. He slowly withdrew his walkie-talkie from his suti while Diamonds Droog withdrew a grappling hook and threw it over the balcony, climbing up one of the pillars that held it up. Quarters tried to shoot at Droog some more, but his aim was off a bit, and it was made even worse when Clubs Deuce appeared on the horizon, shooting his pistol with inexplicably near-accurate aim.

"The Miiiiidniiiiiight Creeeeew iiiiis heeeeeere!" Doze cried into the walkie-talkie while Droog was climbing to the top of the balcony to reach Quarters. As he spoke, Droog punched Quarters in the face, while the Felt member tried to fight off with the butt of his gun. Before help could arrive, Droog grabbed Quarters' hand and made him reach into his pocket for his coin. Droog then forced Quarters to flip it while Doze could only look on in horror as Quarters died instantly.

. . . . .

"Quarters just died! I can feel it!" Clover cried.

"Well don't just stand there, go and swap out with him!" Crowbar cried. "How did they catch us by surprise?!" Clover flipped his coin to swap places with the dead Felt member. "Ok, the rest of you, get to the entrance and don't let them break in here! Everybody take a different way in case they're already inside! I don't want them ambushing all of us at once! If you see them, radio all of us and we'll try and converge on your location!" The Felt members mostly stood around and nodded. Some weren't even out of their seats until Crowbar cried, "Move, people! They could kill all of us!"

. . . . .

Although no one had suggested it, the Felt members went in groups, and as luck would have it, Die and Matchsticks found themselves going the same way.

"Can we even make it to the entrance of the mansion in time?" Die asked frantically.

"Relax, kid, we'll have time!" Matchsticks insisted. "They couldn't have gotten in here if they all took the entrance!"

"Well, there are four of them, so what if only some of them did? What if the others found another way in?" Die suggested. Matchsticks stopped in his tracks suddenly.

"Kid, I think you're onto something," he whispered. Die looked past him to see that Hearts Boxcars was in the next room, with his back turned to them. Neither Felt member said anything as they raised their non-endless machine guns issued to them by Crowbar. They were just about to fire when…

"Gotcha! Did you think I didn't know you two were here?!" Boxcars cried, spinning around and crouch to shoot at the two of them. A few bullets grazed die, but Matchsticks took most of the shots since he had been a little bit in front of his fellow Felt member. After Boxcars had riddled Matchsticks with bullets, he turned to Die, who would have turned white as a sheet if he hadn't been green already.

"3 Felt members down so soon? You guys are pretty wimpy," Boxcars remarked as he fired his gun some more, this time at Die. But Matchsticks strafed to his left to shield Die, spraying his fire extinguisher in Boxcars' face and knocking Die backwards. Hearts Boxcars looked at the pair when the scene was over. He couldn't make out any wounds on Die due to the thickness of the extinguishing stuff, but seeing him on the floor was good enough for him. He wanted to make sure, but then:

"Hearts! We are ya?!" Spades Slick's voice came over his walkie-talkie.

"In the mansion, boss, what is it?"

"Already? Is the entrance secure?" Slick demanded.

"I dunno, should it be?"

"YES! Go back and take out everybody that's over there! Droog and Deuce need all the backup they can get! I'm goin' a different way!" Hearts Boxcars immediately left the room, making his way back to the entrance.

When Boxcars was gone, Die got up and tended to Matchsticks.

"Are you ok? We have to get out of here and keep going. The entrance needs to be protected!" Matchsticks, not getting up, turned his head to look at his friend.

"I don't think I'm going to be doing that, kid," he replied.

"Oh? Right, you're probably badly wounded. I'll just get you on the couch and…"

"No need, kid. I don't want to bleed out on the furniture. It's bad enough that I'm on the rug."

"What do you mean, 'bleed out'? You're going to be fine, right?" Die asked frantically. Matchsticks could tell that he didn't want to hear the truth.

"It's good that my last moments are with you," Matchsticks went on. "You'll make them short and sweet, won't you, kid?"

Die stepped back, shaking his head in denial. "Don't die, please don't die!" he whispered. "You were the only one that was ever really nice to me. The others never valued me the way you did, except for maybe Trace. But he's kind of weird."

Matchsticks chuckled. "They're going to need you much more then they could ever need me," he told Die. "But right now, I need you to do one last thing for me. Get your doll."

"N-no. I don't want to."

"Please." Die timidly withdrew his doll, which had no pins in it.

"Now, stick my pin, the red and white one, into it. Finish me off painlessly," Matchsticks instructed.

"But then I'd just jump to another timeline. It doesn't work like that!" Die protested.

"Do as I asked. Please. It's been great knowing you, kid. Remember, it's not about what powers or weapons you have. It's who you are, and how you use them, that really matters." Die closed his tear-filled eyes and jammed the red and white pin into his doll. When he opened them, Matchsticks was dead, but still right there. Die realized that he hadn't jumped to another timeline because, like it or not, this was the timeline in which Matchsticks was dead. There was no need to go somewhere else.

Die briefly considered pulling his pin out and going to some other timeline, but the thought of abandoning the current one was just too much to bear. The other Felt members needed him too much.

"Goodbye," Die whispered, his knees shaking as he left the room.

. . . . .

Back at the Felt entrance, Clover immediately grabbed Quarters' machine gun and fired away at Droog, riddling him with a bunch of slightly-damaging bullets. They just weren't as powerful as when Quarters shot them. That's Homestuck weaponry for you!

Droog immediately rappelled himself downward with his grappling hook, and when Clover spotted it he dropped down with him, leaving him plummeting down to the ground. Droog had gone down the first place because he had heard the front door open, hoping that his opportunity to break in had come.

"Droog, you shoudn't have come down here!" Clubs Deuce cried. Droog watched in horror as Eggs, Biscuits, Itchy, and Finn all appeared. Eggs made multiple copies of himself and Biscuits, Itchy ran around, and Finn just shot at them in an ordinary manner.

Soon a great and very unfair shootout unfolded, with Clubs Deuce and Diamonds Droog cowering behind rocks while the Felt members tore them apart with bullets, although none of them ever seemed to hit a vital area. Hearts Boxcars came out from the front door shortly afterward, but he too was overwhelmed by the sheer number of Eggses, Biscuitses, and Itchies (there was only 1, but it looked like a lot with the way he seemed to be everywhere at once). The Felt members were overwhelming their foes, but they didn't seem to be able to kill them.

"Just keep shooting all the Eggs you see!" Diamonds Droog cried out. "One of 'ems gotta be the real one, and then all the clones should go away too!"

"Owowowowowow! It's tough to shoot because the guns keep jamming!" Clubs Deuce cried as he was pummeled physically by Itchy, who seemed to enjoy especially tormenting him. "I think it's that little Clover fellow that's doing it!"

"I don't know how much longer we can hold these guys off, Slick! Where are you?!"

"I'm doin' something important, trust me! At least I will be soon!" Spades Slick insisted. Just then, a banging sound was heard, and the front door was destroyed, revealing one more Felt member.

"OH, YEAH!"

"OH, NO!" the Midnight Crew cried.

. . . . .

Die fled in a panic, not stopping until he bumped into someone.

"Die!" Crowbar exclaimed. Sawbuck was with him. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you defending the front door? And didn't Matchsticks go with you?"

"He's…dead," Die said, holding up his doll, which now had Quarters' pin in addition to Matchsticks'. Crowbar frowned.

"I see. Keep adding pins if more people die, it'll help us keep track of things." Just then, Cans spoke over his walkie-talkie.

"WE GOT'EM! DROOG, BOXCARS AND DEUCE ARE OUTTA HERE! I KNOCKED THEM ABOUT 3 MONTHS AWAY!"

"Great, so we get 3 months to prepare before they attack us again? How come you didn't KILL them first?!" Crowbar cried. "We can't just solve our problems by kicking the can down the road!" Cans was confused about Crowbar's expression, but he replied:

"UH…WELL…THEY WERE TOO TOUGH! OUR BULLETS WEREN'T DOIN'MUCH TO THEM. TAKES A LOT TO KILL SOMEBODY WITH ALL OUR WEAPONS, YOU KNOW?"

"Right," Crowbar sighed. There just had to be something wrong with the way these guns worked. Nevertheless, they at least were capable of killing eventually, so everyone used them. "What about Spades Slick?"

"HIM? WE DIDN'T SEE HIM! MAYBE HE'S NOT HERE!"

"No, I heard him talk to Hearts Boxcars through his walkie-talkie!" Die replied.

"Yeah, I agree with you. Slick would never send his crew on a random attack like this at the front door unless he wanted us all distracted," Crowbar remarked. "You guys all search the mansion for Slick now, and radio me when you find him."

"OH, YEAH, WE CAN DO THAT!" Cans cried, ending communication.

"If he wasn't at the front door, then where the devil is he?" Sawbuck demanded. The trio wandered into a room at the end of one floor, where a spiraling staircase led up to the next. The room was mostly flat and empty, save for a few crates near the walls on both sides.

"Looks like he's up there somewhere," Die remarked.

"No, I'm still around," said a mobster-like voice. Spades Slick popped up from behind one of the crates and fired his machine gun at the group as they took cover behind the other set of crates, with Die taking the most hits by far.

"Stitch!" Crowbar cried into his walkie-talkie. "Die's wounded! Fix him up, quickly!"

"I'll try," Stitch replied on the other end, "But there are othersch who need help, too! Doze, Itchy, and Biscuitsch are all hurt a bit asch well.

"Look, let me take out Slick myself!" Die insisted. "I don't have to hide from him like you guys do. I don't deserve to still be around after letting Matchsticks die!" Crowbar slapped in the face.

"You shut up! We aren't going to all die in this! Do you think it's what Matchsticks would want?! Now keep ducking and firing!" Crowbar yelled, his voice beginning to grow hoarse. But then he had an idea. "Hey, you know a bit about sewing, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" Die asked as he coughed up a bit of blood. Crowbar took Die's coin and flipped it, hoping it would land on a 9. It did, and Stitch and Die swapped places.

"What wasch that for?!" Sticth demanded. "I wasch trying to do my work!"

"Die needs to heal himself! Plus we can't let Slick get his doll!" Crowbar insisted.

"I'll be sure to go and grab that when I'm through with you!" Spades Slick cried, shooting at their heads as they just barely peaked above the crates. Crowbar handed Stitch a spare machine gun, and a certain infamous gunfight began without anyone knowing that it would happen again.

Shots were fired for several minutes, and soon it became clear that Spades was the better shooter, damaging all 3 of the Felt members and even shooting their walkie-talkies so that they were cut off from the others. As the battle raged on, Crowbar's wounds began to grow worse, and soon his blood pooled on the floor beneath him.

"Crowbar, I schould really get back to my schtation," Stitch insisted. "You'll die if you don't get treated!"

"No, Die's over there, he can handle it. Plus, I have one more trick up my sleeve," Crowbar replied weakly, withdrawing a black coin with an 8 on both sides.

"Schnowman!"

"A capital idea, Crowbar!" Sawbuck agreed. Crowbar weakly tossed the coin on the floor, and Snowman appeared. All guns stopped firing the moment she was there.

"Snowman!" Slick exclaimed. Snowman said nothing, walking over to where he was, holding what appeared to be some sort of cigarette holder. She looked at Crowbar, her expression not changing at all. She then turned to Slick and declared:

"You've got something in your eye." And before he could say anything she gouged one of his eyes out.

"AGGGH!" he cried. "What the hell did you do that for, you stupid bitch?!"

"It's complicated," Snowman said, turning to Crowbar. "Are you all right?" she asked. Crowbar shook his head weakly.

"I'll take care of Slick. You get yourself patched up," she said. Slick tried to grab his gun and aim it past her, but each time she got in the way before he could fire.

"Stop endangering yourself! Do you WANT me to blow up the entire universe?" Spades Slick demanded.

"I'll do what I want!" Snowman insisted, continuing the process.

"Sawbuck, go to Trace," Crowbar rasped. "Get him to attack Slick's past trail." Sawbuck sneaked off to go do just that, with Snowman guarding him until he was safely in another room. "Stitch…" Crowbar began.

"Yesch?"

"I need you to run back to your effigy room and heal me. Die can't do it."

"What did I tell you?"

"I know, I know," Crowbar said weakly. The blood from his numerous bullet holes still leaked out in some places. "Just leave so I can flip your coin. I'll try and get you to where Die is. He should still be there, trying to fix me up."

"But Crowbar, what if you can't make it land on a Schix?" Stitch asked. "If it keepsch landing on 9, then I'll juscht keep coming back here!"

"Yeah, I know! It's a risk I have to take," Crowbar replied. "Now go!" Stitch ran off like Sawbuck had, and Crowbar desperately flipped the green and yellow coin, hoping for it to land on Die. But it landed on a 9, and Stitch reappeared.

"Just keep trying to get there! I don't know how long this could take!" Crowbar cried.

"If you justcht let me get there on my own, I can schtill schave you!" Stitch insisted.

"No, this will be quicker! We have to try!" Crowbar insisted. The process was repeated. 9. 9. 9. 9. 9…

"What's wrong with me?! Why can't I just get the right thing on a coin?!" Crowbar cried out in frustration. The carapacians ignored him, with Snowman still trying to block Slick from Crowbar.

DO YOU THINK IT IS A COINCIDENCE?

What? You're here, in my thoughts?! What's going on?!

HOW DO YOU THINK THE MIDNIGHT CREW FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS PLACE?

Are you saying that you…? But how? And why?

I HAVE KNOWN YOUR EVERY THOUGHT. AND THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR DEFYING ME.

But without me, the Felt won't have a leader!

SOMEONE MORE SUITABLE WILL TAKE YOUR PLACE.

You…you…why would you do this! Why would you let this happen?!

I CANNOT ALLOW SOMEONE WITH YOUR DEFIANCE AGAINST ME TO LAST FOREVER. NOW IT IS TOO LATE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

"No…NO!" Crowbar cried in desperation as he continued to flip the coin. Maybe Lord English was wrong, or maybe he had been simply lying. There had to be some hope, right?

. . . . .

"Trace!" Sawbuck cried, nearly bumping into him and knocking him over. "Thank Paradox Space I found you!" he quickly explained Crowbar's plan to him. Trace nodded and frantically searched for Slick's past trail. He finally found it near the back door of the mansion and stabbed and shot at Slick all over his past trail where a red outline of his body appeared.

. . . . .

Back at the scene of the gunfight, Slick suddenly felt himself being hurt in a dozen different places all at once.

"Ack! Agh! Ahh! What's going on?! Did somebody—Trace!" he cried out between gasps of pain. Snowman grabbed Slick by the shoulders and shoved him up to another room. Using her walkie-talkie, she radioed Cans:

"We've got him," she said simply. Minutes later, Cans appeared through a wall, punching Spades Slick 3 months away in time. "Damn all of you! I'll get you next time!" he cried before disappearing.

"OH, YEAH, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" Cans cried. He radioed the others and told them to go meet in the effigy room where Stich could heal all their wounds.

"HEY, WHERE'S CROWBAR?" Cans asked.

"He's around," Snowman lied. She wanted to be with him alone in his final moments. Going back into the room where Crowbar still lay, she knelt down by his side and gave him a hug.

"I hope you don't mind, but…" Snowman began, ready to explain why no one else was with her.

"No, it's fine," Crowbar interrupted. "Better that they don't see me. I don't want them getting discouraged or something. They'll find out I'm gone in the effigy room, anyway. I want you, and only you, for these last few moments."

"Is there really no way you can recover?" Snowman asked. Crowbar shook his head.

"I blew that chance while you were trying to protect me. It was all for nothing." Tears silently fell from Snowman's cheeks, and Crowbar reached out his hand to touch her face.

"Don't cry, Snowman. It was meant to be this way. He said this up. He's going to win, and there was nothing I could do about it." Snowman hugged Crowbar again, shaking her head.

"No, no, don't say that! There has to be a way! I'm tired of living like this! Do you know what it's like to watch everyone die, knowing that you'll never be able to join them unless you everyone left alive was willing to go with you? I don't want you to go, Crowbar, you're the last person in my life that's ever meant anything positive to me!"

"Really?" Crowbar asked. "Well, in that case, you'll be glad to know that I always valued you. I love you, Snowman. I'm sorry you only get to hear that now. I hope you understand."

Snowman said nothing, resting the side of her face on Crowbar's chest. He wrapped her in one last hug.

"Don't go away forever," Snowman pleaded with a whisper.

"I have to. Our fates have already been written for us," Crowbar whispered.

Snowman didn't get up until she could no longer feel his heart beating.

AN: I'm so sorry that this didn't get uploaded earlier! I was busy writing one of my other fanfics, but you better believe I didn't forget this one!

Nonetheless, A1 will be on hiatus for a while, and not just because other fanfics are in the way now. NONE of the rest of the plot has been planned out yet, and I have no idea how far I want to take this or how many chapters it will take. I don't know if I want to write an epilogue after this, either.

I may even continue the story in another story, so you could sort of think of this as the end of the current story I've been telling rather than an abrupt pause. Thanks to everyone who has been following this!

Another AN: Hey, guys! Homestuck has updated! At long last! :D

For the record, I'm not going to let updates get too much in the way of my plot, since I began writing before a lot of it. For example, when I started this Aranea hadn't been revived or turned semi-evil, and the Felt's...reproductive habits weren't known.

In addition to not quite knowing how to wrap up the rest of this story, I also went through a sort of crisis, which you'd know about if you were reading Thou Art Mortal, my Hunger Games SYOT. Basically, I was feeling like Cronus, in some ways, minus the romantic issues. Just the helplessness, really.

Now, though, things are different. I'm better, stronger than ever, mentally speaking, and more motivated. I have a purpose in life, and unfortunately it's not to just write fanfiction. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. I love writing these stories, and I love the characters here...especially Mituna. Sorry, he's kind of my favorite, but I made him that way :P

This, since it's closer to being finished than some of my other stuff, is going to have a lower priority, but I'll still try and get out updates on this at some point. Thanks to everybody that's been reading and reviewing...which as far as I know isn't much. But for those few people, thanks. I loved writing this, giving Homestuck my own personal flair.

But right now I have so many other fanfics that I would love to write as well. At the same time, I assure you that this will get finished, no matter what.