I got as far as the next room before I felt the presence of yet another visitor. I pursued to find Padmé lounging in the living room, eyes dancing with mischief, but expression wholly fastidious in a way which didn't fit. "Well well well," said she, clicking her tongue in gleeful teasing. "I knew it was hot around here, but I didn't realize just how smoking !"
Oh, stang . Had she seen ? Oh, of course she had. She was grinning like the cat that caught the thranta.
"Padmé. What're you… doing here?"
"I came to talk. But I noticed you were—ah—preoccupied? So I decided better to wait." She put down her datapad.
And for some strange reason then, I laughed. She grinned back, and then hopped on the edge of the sofa, feet hardly dangling off given her long legs.
"I should've known you two were more than friends. Uncle Luke ." She nudged me with her arm, then mimed an extremely suggestive motion that made me huff, partly from amusement I refused to show. I hoped I seemed disapproving instead. "Maybe we can double date."
This was a revelation. A distracting one. "You have a boyfriend ?"
"Well, you didn't tell me about yours!" she teased back. "His name is Lute."
Lute … I thought. Lute… Something pricked at me. "Wait. That red headed lord who hangs around the palace?"
"I'd hardly say 'hangs around'. He is staying with us temporarily this summer at the request of his parents before heading to Archipelago university, here in Aldera."
"I see," I said with a smile.
But Padmé showed no hints of embarrassment. "And he thinks I am beautiful, too."
"Of course he does."
Her smile shaded sly. "So," she drawled, "tell me about Admiral Darklighter. You know, you could've said the other day that he was here for a bit of—"
"It's not like that."
"Of course not!" She nodded, mouthing a ' sure' .
"Padmé, he just kissed me out of the blue. What could I have done?"
"You're a terrible liar, Uncle."
"A few days ago you said I was great."
"I meant it in the sense of you genuinely believing lies. But when you're just straight up lying, you suck at it."
"You know, I think I liked you better when you played polite princess."
She gave me a good-natured rude hand gesture. "And as for what you could've done… well, maybe not clung to him like he was the last bit of water on this whole world and you were crazed with thirst?"
I wanted to protest, but knew her words valid. Flushing with what could only be shame, I reiterated, "It's not like that."
" O-kay ."
"You are so sassy today."
"I am, I really am. But I'll admit it's nice to know I'm not the only one with conflict around here." She hopped off the sofa.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because you have a sugar daddy who is an Imperial Admiral while you're busy trying to cobble together a rebellion with one nail and a rusted hammer."
I ignored this latter in the face of the former. I sputtered, "He isn't my—I don't— "
"Uncle, Uncle, it's none of my business what you call him in your private hours," she said, laying a soothing hand on my arm.
I decided I was playing a losing game with this witty young woman, in her cheerful and pithy mood. So I rerouted. "So—what happened?"
"Why do you think something happened ? You know, I'm hurt. You've hurt me with your lack of trust."
"Mmhm." And I simply waited.
Finally: "...well… there was this one thing after you left."
" No ."
"Well, I'm not the only sassy one in this duo," she observed. "So… after you left, they sort of started digging."
"They being your parents."
"Right."
"Clearly they didn't trust you!" she burst out. "And they were obviously trying to figure out if I knew anything about the 'rebellion'. I pretended I didn't and they eventually believed me. But I just wanted you to know. I don't think that they trust me any either," she uttered in softly bitter solidarity.
"Of course they trust you, Padmé. They love you."
"Maybe," she returned noncommittally. "But love doesn't equal trust."
"...that is very wise." But I must continue to show her trust, or else the only ones trusting her would be Tarkin and other Imperials. "I actually have… an errand to perform… but maybe after that we could go for a drive? I'll show you all the sights." Not that many such sights existed around here, but I could at least show her the dune sea and such.
To my surprise, she said, "Sounds great! I love sand."
Detecting no sarcasm in her, I beamed at this shared adoration. "So do I! It's so awesome!"
"I know, right?! Mother doesn't get it at all."
I said, "Her loss." She nodded sagely at this.
"—by the way…" she mused, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall, brows rising, "this 'errand' that has to happen in such a hurry… are we talking about things you're supposed to be stopping?"
"We're talking about an anti-slavery advocate being arrested."
"—oh." Her lips pressed together. A shadow shone in her eyes. Conflict passed through her. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"I am," I replied. "—I'm a Jedi." Not the best time to make the declaration given the kiss. But better she learn now. Better she know that trust from me.
"A Jedi …" She handled this revelation slowly. Then she shook her head. "You aren't a terrorist thug."
"Is that what they taught you about us in history? Thank you."
She sighed softly, then seemed resigned. "There's even more stuff I don't know about our family and all of this, isn't there?"
"...yeah."
OOO
A few hours later, I came in smiling. Success . "Come on," I told her. "Still an hour of daylight left. I'll show you a tour of the life of a 'poor, bumbling dear' on Tatooine."
Color flooded her cheeks. "That was so many months ago! Do you really—?" Remember that ?
I shrugged.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, humbler than I'd ever seen her. "I didn't know, back then. I hadn't… I mean, I hadn't seen… I still haven't, really…"
I laid my hand on her shoulder. "It's alright . That's why I'm showing you today, Mé."
"—nobody calls me that."
"Just Padmé?"
"Of course. For Queen Amidala, who so helped the Emperor—
"Well. Anyway." The Imperial love no longer shone in her eyes when the drilled-in propaganda came.
"Yes," I agreed feelingly. Trust . Han and Leia would hate me. But whatever. She already suspected there was more, and knowing her she'd go digging—possibly in all the most dangerous places. "For your grandmother."
OOO
Three days. That's how long I got before Han came around with anger in his eyes. But that was fine. I needed those three days to do work related to the White Suns—work, which, I might add, went quite successfully. I half wondered what Biggs would make of it once he inevitably heard of Vill's remarkable escape, but I couldn't think of that. I just couldn't think of him, or any of it. I'd lose it if I did.
(I'd have to face facts if I did.)
Biggs hadn't sent me a holomail. Not that I was checking, because I wasn't. But—had the kiss been bad or something? Or did he just want to conquer me and then be done with it…?
No. I didn't matter, I reminded myself, working on the old speeder that would no longer start. Attachments are forbidden .
Then, the clatter of footsteps. A stormy anger in the Force of familiar origins. I scrambled up from the speeder, slapping on a smile to greet him—
Just in time to see Han before he punched me right in the face.
"You're a real bastard, Luke Skywalker," he growled, holding me by the collar. "You know that?"
"No, no. My parents were married."
"Funny."
I thought so.
" What's … this about , Han?"
"You know damn well what this's about."
I mean… I had theories… but it was less "what's this about" and more "which one is this about"? "Uhm…"
Han huffed out, and let me go. But his eyes still stabbed me with their accusations. "How dare you tell her about what you an' Leia are tryin' to put together?"
" What?" I asked in genuine shock. How had they learned Padmé knew? "I didn't tell her. Han… she figured it out on her own."
"But you didn't tell us when she told you she knew," retorted Han. "How dare you?"
"...I don't know," I returned with evenness. "I guess I just do, since you insist on keeping things from her. It doesn't protect her, Han. Not anymore. You know that."
"Yes it does ," he retorted. "It protects her, cause she doesn't have to see the truth of it all. She don't have to see—what I've seen. What you've seen. Seein' that… it'll…"
"She's not a little girl anymore, Han," I returned quietly, gently extricating myself from his grasp. My eye ached. My heart ached for him. "She's a young woman, nearly of age. Her Day of Acknowledgement is near. It's time she know the truth and make her own choices accordingly."
"Like Leia learned the truth?"
"Leia found out in a way far too harsh," I returned softly. "And it changed her forever. I'm sure of it. Though I never knew her before." I still don't really know her much at all , I thought. "But that doesn't mean Padmé should stay sheltered forever."
"You stay out of it, Luke. You aren't her father. It's not your choice to make."
It was like being punched all over again. Only worse.
"I know," I agreed. "But someone needs to parent her."
Han's gaze was stormy. "That's it. I'm takin' you to Alderaan with me. You're gonna explain your behavior to her ." Meaning Leia.
Oh, Force be with me.
OOO
Well. It seemed the Force had elsewhere to be, because I wasn't getting any aid in this so far as I could tell. Leia stood at the center of her garden, passionately lecturing both Padmé and me. Han stood off to the side, seeming both cowed by his wife's temper and proud of her and in full agreement with her words. I could take it when Leia directed it at me. I knew I'd usurped her and Han's parental rights in some sense. I still didn't feel what I'd done was wrong , but I understood her anger. But when she got to Padmé… that was when I began to get mad.
"And you ," Leia uttered, "my own daughter. Don't you know how careful we have to be? How no mistakes can be made or else—? " Then, "Did you plan to report us? Is that why you didn't come to us?"
Padmé flushed hot, and didn't seem to possess words for once.
Han finally spoke up. "Cess—you wouldn't— "
"Oh, you stay out of this," she retorted with a cruel and biting coldness. "Since you never took your role seriously you couldn't understand the duty a leader has to her people."
Han's face faltered. He looked prone to tears over his little girl's vicious rebuff, but then rallied. He shrugged. "Never much liked the speeches."
"Leave it, Han," said Leia, sounding less angry at him. But then she whirled back on her daughter. "How dare you consider betraying us—how dare you, Luke, let her go on—?"
"She wasn't going to betray us! She won't!" I cried. I knew she wouldn't. She just couldn't. And now, she understood more—
"Yes, I was." Padmé spoke quietly. She looked at me with sorrow and no one else. "I was going to report you. All of you. Because I believed in the Empire enough to do it. A part of me still does. But then… I came to you… and I saw how hard your life has been. But you still have hope. You still believe in people. And I knew… I just couldn't send you to your death like had happened to that woman on the tour."
Silence.
Leia blinked fairly rapidly.
Han asked, "What woman?"
"She saw somebody killed on her tour of the Imperial palace," I said.
"Oh… kriff… baby…" He reached out, a mushy expression of sorrow on his face. But Padmé turned from him, turned from all of us, and all I could see were her hands as they clenched and unclenched.
"You believe in people, Uncle," she said, "and I thank you for that. But some aren't worthy of your belief. You ought to have used some Jedi trick to make me forget."
"It's not so simple," I said. "I wouldn't do that to you. You deserve a chance to know the truth and make your own choices knowing it."
"It's too late."
"No, it's not."
"You didn't—you didn't turn us in, did you, Padmé?" Leia asked.
The moment vanished. Padmé swung on her, and a pang of fear ran through me. She didn't look angry. In fact, she was smiling.
It was a terrible smile. A smile that promised everything awful in this galaxy. A smile that spoke of power and anger but retained a sanitized politeness to it, like bleach poured to wipe away blood.
"I haven't at this moment," she replied pithily. "But given the lack of faith shown me by my family members such that you saw fit to give me no truth at all in my life about anything important…"
"You can't. Cess. You wouldn't . Please."
"I damn well could."
Then: "I'm pregnant."
Padmé blinked at her mother. Suddenly the smile vanished; she turned ashen, and then pink. "You—you are?"
"She is," Han agreed, visibly torn between pride in his wife (and probably his own virility) and the sorrow of all this.
"That's… wonderful … Mom. Dad . That's… wonderful. How long have you known?"
Leia only shook her head at her smiling daughter, then at me. "What are we going to do?"
Because now, I realized, Han and Leia had not only one child to worry about, but two. A baby . Padmé was a young woman, increasingly capable of taking care of herself and obviously capable of making her own decisions about life and rebellion. But a baby…
"I'm not prepared to give up this fight," I admitted. "I've gotten a taste of hope and fulfillment again, of a chance to do what Jedi are meant to do. And I couldn't let that go now for… for anything, I think. I've wasted too much time disobeying my teachers' will because of cowardice.
"But it wouldn't be cowardice for any of you to leave me to it. There's been so little done yet…" I had to admit this—"that there's probably no possible ties here to Alderaan." Except the Inquisitor, but they were dead, and untraceable here. "So you could stop now, and be okay. Like you wanted, Mé. I… I hope you do. I think it would be best for everyone. Before… something happens."
Because I could taste that something on the horizon, elusive but encompassing. If only I could catch the sense, take hold of it, and examine it further. Or maybe it was merely the leaden weight growing in the pit of my stomach, the realization that I was now alone to face this impossible task…
OOO
As usual, please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts. By the way, this story is now finished, so I'll be posting the rest of the chapters today :). The sequel will be coming soon.
