Neither of us owns One Piece, we will let you decide after reading this if that is a good thing or not ;-)
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Beta read by the wonderful MasterQwertster, be sure to check out their own stories!
Inspired by Wolf Strife, and Rose7anne101's own "My Family Can Beat Up Your Family."
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Guest Reviews :-D
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StrongGuy159
Thank you for your review and support :D
Hope you think this one is even more and more awesome.
Hope you enjoy the new chapter! Looking forward to reading your thoughts!
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Shadinah
Thank you for your review and support :D
We are happy to hear we made you laugh! We have a killer sense of humor almost as deadly as boa Hancock ;) XD
Hope you enjoy the new chapter! Looking forward to reading your thoughts!
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Luffy's Mother is WHO!?
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Warning, contains spoilers for… pretty much every chapter associated with the canon wedding itself, and after. Do not read if you are not caught-up with the manga.
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Previously:
Luffy, still managing to miss these were for his wedding, sent out various guest invitations around the world to assorted friends and associates who might like to come to a party. At the same time, the Straw Hats meet up with Ace, Sabo, Marco, and others of the Whitebeard Pirates, and finally learn what is going on.
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"Did the world go crazy these last few days?" murmured Mr. 3 to himself while rubbing his head. Even though it had been almost a full day, he was still feeling the lingering hangover from that last party which had taken them all out of commission. The others were even worse, as he was one of the few that didn't drink (comparatively speaking) too much.
He continued scanning the newspapers from earlier this week that they had all been too wasted to read. As he read, he sometimes paused either from the headache, or to do a double-take (or triple-take) at the latest reveal, all the while murmuring to himself, "Crazy", "Unbelievable", "What has the world had come too?"
"Buggy, your pal is in the newspaper."
"What? Speak softly. My head," moaned Buggy.
Mr. 3 pushed the open paper in front of the clown, who tried to shake his head into sobriety without success.
"I keep telling you, if it isn't about me, I'm not interested," he finally said, and it was a surprisingly coherent sentence for how drunk the man still was. The hiccup he let out at the end ruined the effect.
"But… it's Straw Hat…"
"That damn Straw Hat brat… What did he do now!?"
Buggy tried to open his eyes to see the paper still somehow in front of his face.
"Wait, don't tell me. Let me guess…. He already destroyed hiccup Enies Lobby, and declared war on the World Government, infiltrated Impel Down, and broke out—"
"With your help!" some drunken head corrected.
"Of course! He helped me! It was all my idea! Without the great —I— Buggy it wouldn't have worked."
Cheers filled the room from his adoring drunken followers. Then they beat each other for being too loud and hurting each other's heads. It was both the physical (fists) and physical (hangover) kind.
"Ahem… anyway, he also joined the war between Whitebeard, Kaidou, and the marines, and not only got out alive but was on the winning side. If we keep up this line of thought, it's either he destroyed Marineford, or challenged a Yonko—please say 'Shanks!' Hmmmm… Or maybe picked a fight against…one of the other Warlords. Not me! He wouldn't stand a chance against the Great Buggy."
"Of course not!" someone tried to shout but ended with an audible whisper.
"He would have to be suicidal!" someone else groaned.
"You're friends!" moaned another.
"Yeah, Straw Hat owes you his life!"
"Of course, of course, but that is nothing between pirates such as us." Shaking his head again, Buggy focused on Mr. 3 again. "So which was it?" he demanded, while others tried to cheer, only it predictably ended as whimpers.
"Emmmm… It's all of them and none, all at the same time."
"What do you mean?"
"Luffy defeated Doflamingo!"
"I called it!" Buggy shouted in triumph, tried to make a pose, fumbled and fell, almost planting his face into the floor if not for the help of Mr. 3 who was able to keep him on his feet, somehow.
"Captain Buggy is the greatest of the Warlords now!"
"He was always the greatest!"
"Doflamingo is chicken shit!"
"I thought he was flamingo shit!"
"There's more!" Mr. 3 shouted, getting everyone's attention, which wasn't hard when you were the only sober one. Given the situation, he had no sympathy for the pain his volume caused.
"What do you mean there's more?"
"You see about the Yonko bit…."
"He challenged Shanks… No? Finished the job with Kaidou? Big Mom? Who? Dammit? Oh, turn on Whitebeard and take the old man out hiccup, before me!" Buggy shouted in rage while gripping his aching head, and ended up whispering "The shitty bastard" in a barely heard whisper. His crew moaned with him, or maybe because of him.
"Captain Buggy could take them all on!"
"Shut up!"
"My head!"
"Yeah, Captain Buggy, why didn't you!?"
"Let's do it! Right now!"
"You're the future king of all!"
"Apparently, Big Mom is his mom!"
"..."
"..."
"WHO?"
"Big Mom is Straw Hat Luffy's mom!"
"Say what?"
"Big Mom is L—"
"Nahhh, I get the components and the grammar of the sentence, I think hiccup. Big Mom is Luffy's Mom, that's what you said. Right?"
Mr.3 nodded his head, only to realize Buggy was still unable to see clearly as he continued to look confused until Mr. 3 confirmed verbally.
"Yeahhhh…I'm still waiting for it to make sense," Buggy uttered.
"But, but, isn't he the son of the revolutionary Dragon?" someone cheerfully asked.
"Yeah, he is the son of Big Mom and Dragon, and his grandfather is Garp, Hero of the Marines!" Mr. 3 reminded them.
"Wow!"
"My god!"
"What a lineage!"
"My head!"
"Stop talking!"
"Captain Buggy's a friend of his!"
"What would you expect!? After all, Captain Buggy was part of Gold Roger's crew!"
"Straw Hat owes our captain!"
Ignoring the ruckus the news generated, Mr. 3 whispered to the dumbfounded drunken Buggy. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah…. My life just passed by in front of me ...and I'm so drunk…hic… that I can't see what'sh in front of me… maybe it's the alcohol—"
Mr. 3 cut in. "Yeah, I understand. You told me that you almost killed him… where the Pirate King died."
"...speaking—"
"I mean … you would have the Revolutionaries after you, Big Mom, Garp… and he has his brother Fire Fist Ace."
The hiccups miraculously stopped. Buggy was cured! Hooray!
So why was his life flashing in front of him once more, twice, thrice, vividly and more colourful each time? The alcohol seemed to evaporate more as well with each cycle.
It took a few minutes for his survival mechanism to kick in within his muddled brain. Without it, he would have never survived being on Captain Roger's crew.
Denial, denial, denial!
Admirals after them. Denial.
Pirate crews united against them. Denial.
"At least I am not involved with this guy anymore. Thank god for—"
His announcement was cut with the sudden appearance of a fancy envelope in his hand in a flash of light.
Buggy had a really bad feeling about this. With a shaking hand he gave the envelope to Mr. 3, who took it quietly and examined it before opening it.
"It's a wedding invitation"
Phew, wedding invasion, invitation—it has nothing to do with wretched brat…
Wait, who would invite me to a wedding?
"Who's wedding?"
"Emmmmmmmmmmm…"
"Who's wedding?" repeated Buggy, perfectly sober and dreading the answer.
"Straw—"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Back within her new quarters, well away from the tower which she had been stuck within for so many years, a princess wept.
"What do I do, Megalo?" sniffed the princess to her pet shark. Said shark was swimming around her in circles with an oversized straw hat on his head that kept slipping sideways as he moved.
"Luffy is going to get married, I-I don't know. I feel so confused. Jinbe said that the… bri..bride's... family is like really evil. Germa 66 or something. That something doesn't seem right...h-he kept saying..." Another sniff.
"I know, know… I-I-I should stop crying, or Luffy would keep calling me a cry...baby."
The princess wiped her eyes furiously.
"Jinbe said that maybe Big Mom was making him do it. But-what-if I mean...but what if he likes this girl, and wants to be with her...marry her and he will go on an adventure ...together with her."
"So who is getting married?"
"Luffy is get—" the princess cut herself off with a gasp.
"Luffy is to be married."
"No, he is married!"
"He is not married."
"He may get married."
"Who cares if he gets married?"
"Oh, Ichika, Nika, Sanka, Yonka, and Yonka Two,'' wailed the princess as she let her tears slide down her cheeks. No, she wasn't a crybaby. She was just sad and frustrated. She wasn't—
Maybe it was because of her relief, but the princess didn't even think to wonder about how the mermaid quintuplets had arrived inside of her quarters, which were supposed to be some of the most secure in the castle. Maybe the threat of Vander Decken IX was gone, but she was still the only princess of the kingdom, and the youngest royal child.
"Don't cry princess."
"There is no reason to cry."
"No shame in crying, cry."
"It is okay to maybe cry."
"Who cares if you cry, cry all you want."
The Mermaid Quintuplets swam in circles near the princess, emitting a protective aura even if the only threat at present was the growling noise of Melago's tummy, yet they still gave her space. They observed the princess with different degrees of worry.
Through heaving and hiccupping sobs and with tears streaming down her face, the princess told them the story, and they were able to get the gist of what she was saying.
"I see."
"You see?" the mermaid princess asked. Because she wasn't sure if she herself did.
"Me too!"
"Maybe three."
"Four!"
"..."
"What?"
"Luffy needs help!" Ichika announced in finality.
"He needs rescue!" as usual Nika wholeheartedly agreed.
He does? The princess wondered.
"No, he doesn't!" Sanka was always on the anti-team. If in the far-off future, Fishman Island ever ditched their monarchy for something like a self-governance system, Sanka's role as a government official (please, no one would dare not vote for her) would permanently be that of the opposition leader, no matter which party ruled.
"He might need rescue," Yonka the ever cautiously optimistic doubter declared. Her sisters and friends found themselves calling her "fact-checker," "neutral," and "Switzerland," and then they would pause and wonder why strange foreign words kept coming to their minds, and then move on with their lives.
"So what if he needs rescue?" Yonka Two. She had been officially appointed by the devil himself as his advocate. Her reply was, "So what if you appointed me?" (The full detailed conversation will be told another time. Safe to say, the devil was so happy with his choice, he had wanted to abdicate his throne for her, but she refused.)
Ah well, sometimes it was good to always have someone like that around. No matter how annoying they could be. The other four sisters kept reminding themselves of this, but sometimes . . . . Oh well, better not tread into that corner of the ocean.
"Emmm, I am confused," the princess murmured to her tiny friends, who all shared looks and rolled their eyes fondly.
"Luffy said he was going on an adventure!" Ichika reminded her.
"The best adventure, with his nakama! To be free!" Nika added, shouting the last bit.
"Marriage is not an adventure! Not freedom!" Sanka concurred. One wonders where these young, tiny creatures received such enlightened wisdom.
"Oh!" she gasped. She was so stupid.
"He may not want to marry," Yonka had to point out.
"Why would he want to marry?" Yonka Two asked.
"We need to save him!" exclaimed the princess. Luffy had called her crybaby, yet he had still saved her, her family, and everyone on Fishman Island. If he needed help, then she would help! She was a strong, independent mermaid!
None of the quintuplets pointed out her fast change of mood. Her eyes had suddenly dried up, her grim, confused expression had changed to one that was excited, and oh so very bright.
"Indeed, we will!"
"YES! We will save him!"
"No, we won't."
"Maybe we will!"
"Why will we?"
"But how?" The princess swam around excitedly, her hair whooshing behind her as she moved swiftly around even with her huge frame. Her smaller friends swirled around the room with her. Mostly because they were caught up in the current of her passage. While she knew she may be naive, even she knew they were up against Big Mom, and also the evil organisation Germa 66 from how Jinbe explained it.
"What do you mean 'how?' We're pirates! We have a crew!"
"Yes, we are the Jewels Pirates! The best nakama! We have an awesome Flag, and we have a ship."
"We don't have a ship."
"We may have a ship soon. Dan said it will take a few weeks."
"It's been weeks!"
"What does it matter if we have a ship?"
"'Cause we're going on an adventure!"
"Adventure! To save Luffy!"
"He doesn't need saving."
"He might need saving"
"But does he need saving?"
"Of course, he does! Luffy is a princess!"
"Huh?"
"What?"
"Not?"
"Oh, Princess Shirahoshi is Prince Charming!"
The princess gasped; she was what?
"I thought we hate Prince Charming!"
"We do! We're cool, not cute"
"Me too!"
"Maybe three!"
"Four."
"..."
"But the princess fits the role!"
The other four shared a look and nodded emphatically, Megalo joining in.
They all could see it. Like a picture getting painted. Princess Shirahoshi will make a Great Prince, Megalo will be the White Horse, the sound of his growling stomach already sounded like the whinny of a noble steed. And the five of them will be the Very, Extremely COOL Knights! Like Jinbe!
Clearly the adults of Fishman Island need to be more careful what kind of surface books they allow their kids to read. Apparently they were as dangerous, if not more so, than wedding invitations.
"Are you ready, Roby? To go on a real adventure! To Free your Luffy-Princessey!"
The Mermaid Princess, no Prince, felt a strange sense of courage sweep inside of her after being called with her alias. 'Roby' has gone on lots of adventures (mainly on Fishman Island, but an adventure is an adventure. It still counts!).
"Free Luffy! And become the hero!"
"Luffy is not a princess. He's a pirate."
"He may be a prince and pirate!"
"Princess!"
"Why does it matter?"
The mermaid princess Shirahoshi, sorry, Roby. I meant Roby, okay?! ROBY snatched her straw hat back from Megalo's head, and put it on her own in a swift determined motion.
Wait for me Luffy, we're coming to save you!
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When Vivi saw Luffy next, she was going to throttle him.
Slowly.
She might even take the time to ask Nami for some tips first.
Because as much as she loved him, this was not helping her or Alabasta!
The tension in the air was thick enough to cut, and she was doing her best not to look like she was debating whether or not to kill all these Navy witnesses if necessary. Unfortunately, while she was confident her face was a perfect mask, she suspected they were well aware that Pell the Falcon and Chaka the Jackal happened to be standing right behind the marines aboard Alabasta's flagship, palms resting on their sheathed swords.
Which really was a shame, as the marines who were escorting Vivi and her father's ship had only hurried over because they had seen the bright light (which was the arrival of a certain, unexpected letter) and were concerned. They were simply doing their duty, and she knew their commander was a good person. Why, she would even admit to some satisfaction at seeing a woman rising so high through their ranks; honestly, there were too many male officers.
An officer who would understandably be curious as to why an invitation to Luffy's wedding was sent and what was this why Luffy why and did he even know who the Germa 66 were and now Sanji and why didn't he stop this—
"And why," Vice-Admiral Hina calmly asked, "would that pirate be inviting you, Princess?"
Her brain stalled as her thoughts were interrupted.
Think! she wailed to herself, trying to think up a plausible lie. Or else everything would be for nothing.
"It's obvious," her father growled out darkly, clenching his fists tightly.
"Dad!" she cried, embracing her familiar habit of trying to calm him down when he got worked up. His doctors were insistent it did his health no good.
Ignoring her, he continued, "Clearly he's mocking us by throwing in our faces the reminder about his time here in Alabasta without getting caught, and everything to do with Crocodile!"
"Oh?" prompted the marine.
With a sigh, he forcefully relaxed his body. "We both know Straw Hat came to Alabasta to defeat Crocodile, and while Smoker was the one to defeat him—"
There was a slightest twitch to Hina's eye at the heavy irony in the king's voice.
"—it doesn't change the fact that he ran wild through my country beforehand. Now he's able to rub it in while trying to intimidate my family in the process." Somehow his eyes hardened even further, "Would she be safe at such an event?"
After a shrewdly considering look, the woman nodded and said, ". . . Hina believes so. Big Mom's tea parties are supposed to be famous for safe conduct. So long as you obey the rules."
"Good," he breathed out, more tension relaxing from his body. "That's good."
. . . Vivi never knew her dad was such a good actor! Well now it was her turn.
Screwing up her face so she projected resolve in the face of danger, with a touch of nervousness as she acknowledged the serious threat of it all, she said, "How can I get to this wedding on time? Alabasta cannot afford the retribution of a slighted Yonkou, even so far from their territory."
"Due to past . . . incidents, Hina knows there are unofficial understandings to help speed up special persons there," was the bitterly reluctant answer. "The Navy will only be able to escort you to their borders though, and cannot take responsibility for what happens within.
"Alright then, so we'd better hurry."
"Chaka, Pell, you'll be my daughter's bodyguards there. Keep her safe, and away from harm."
With surprising strength, King Cobra took his daughter's hand in his own. "Come back to your people. Stay safe."
"I will," she promised, ignoring how the look in his eyes was also saying, That means no strangling one of the grooms.
Okay, fine.
. . . Maybe I can get Nami to do it.
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Somewhere in East Blue
"Are you suuuuure it's true?"
"Maybe it's a fake . . . ? A prank?"
"Nope, it's genuine."
"How do you know!?"
The other man shrugged. "According to the mayor, it fits the description of the Mail-Mail Fruit, and nobody would be dumb enough to send out fake letters in her name."
"I mean why us? We're nobody!"
Another shrug.
"Doooess it mean that . . . we have to go?"
"The invitation is for three people."
A slim woman with brown curls bouncing around her head entered the bar at a run, followed by another figure breathing heavily.
"Show me," Jill demanded, her eyes were just as wild as her curly hair.
The calm man with glasses calmly handed her the fancy paper and envelope to her grabby hands.
"Holy shit, you didn't lie to me, Erin."
Erin, still breathing hard from running back to the bar with Jill, wheezed "Why . . . would . . . I . . . lie . . . about this?!"
Jill shrugged as she carefully examined the paper and the envelope.
"It looks real."
"It does," agreed Vinn.
"Does it?" the bartender asked in a shaky voice. He was wishing it was all a bad dream.
"The writing for who it is addressed to is a bit unclear. I can make a 'p,' and 'rty' . . . or is it 'e'?"
Unbeknownst to everyone but a rubber-brained idiot, it was supposed to read 'Partys Bar.'
Who knows what nightmares would have happened if Reiju had not taken over writing the invitations?
"Yes, the scrawling is not clear. But it does seem to spell this bar."
The bartender almost fainted. Vinn gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
Reassuring it wasn't.
Erin tried to give a reassuring smile as he sat on one of the chairs, still wheezing. It turned quickly into a grimace.
Jill eyed the bartender, who shrank back. "Is there something you aren't telling us?"
"W-what?"
"Do you have a relationship with any of these people?"
"Met them?"
"Hey . . . I never. You know me. I was born here, and lived here all my life. I've only met people that came to the bar. You all know more people than me. Vinn actually travels around and—"
"Yeah, relax. We're pulling your leg."
The bartender let out a nervous laugh. He had not found it funny at all.
"I can make lots of money out of this," Jill murmured. "It's the event of the season."
"The century I would say," murmured Erin, having come to the bar and poured himself something to drink. He gave another full glass to the bartender, who took it with both hands thankfully.
It told you a lot about his mental state that he didn't grumble about wasted drink, or demanded money from Erin. So what if he worked for him? Work was work, and drinks got paid for.
"Shouldn't we give it to the marines?" the bartender asked after taking a few sips of his drink. Both Vinn and Jill looked at him as if he lost his last marbles.
"If you don't want it, I will be happy to take it off your hands." Jill said menacingly.
"Please," begged the bartender. He would even let her drink for free for life. It would mean bankruptcy, but at least he would live.
"Hmmmm . . . I don't think that is a good idea."
"Oh?"
"I'm sure you have few ideas to make money out of this."
"A few," agreed Jill. The look in her eyes said she was already seeing huge amounts of beli on the horizon. "But . . . those are big names there."
"And?"
"I am not sure if the invitation came here on purpose, or by mistake, and we may never know. But I don't think we can refuse an invitation from Big Mom," Vinn explained calmly.
"That's . . . what should I do?" wailed the bartender, dropping the glass out of his hand as it rolled over the bar, spilling the contents. Ignoring the mess, he grabbed his hair in desperation, and mumbled to himself in a panic.
"It's all because I jinxed myself . . . isn't it? . . . I just had to think . . . that the East Blue was the most boring place ever! What happens on the other side of the world doesn't affect us. Yeah, that's what I said . . . And look at me now! What am I going to do . . . ?"
"Relax man. Hey, here take another glass . . ."
"Should I just die? If I die, Big Mom can't kill me . . ."
"Deep breath, deeeeep breathe . . ."
Jill and Vinn ignored what was happening on the other side of the bar.
"You mean . . . someone has to go."
"We've all heard the stories of what happens to someone who refused Big Mom's invitations. And even if we hadn't, the mayor was basically shrieking them."
"Yeah, she is a Yonko. She has to be crazy. You think she will come here? To destroy the island?"
The bartender fainted by this point as his body gave up. Erin caught him, and laid him down on the floor, calling his name.
"Maybe not herself, but she will send some of her allies or crew?"
"So we have to go, or else."
Vinn nodded. "Look at the bright side, it will put our island on the WORLD map."
Vinn and Jill let out a loud snort. They found it pretty ironic to consider how their little island might become famous by the fact it was wiped off the map. Ah, Gallows Humour . . .
Jill sighed, "I can still make lots of money in other ways. But who will go? This one?" she pointed at the unconscious bartender who was being shaken awake without much success.
"The invitation did arrive here."
"And another two! I assume you want to go," Jill said shrewdly.
"Only to keep the island safe," Vinn said, and pushed his glasses up his nose.
Jill snorted at the obvious lie, yet didn't call him on it. The man was vibrating with excitement. His attempt at a cool demeanor did not fool her.
"You may die."
"Death is but a journey," he airily said, the line was delivered in a manner that left no doubt it was some grandiose quote. But it was the wrong audience.
"Who knew? Reading books does rot your brain."
"That leaves one! How about you?" Vinn ignored her quip.
"Me?" Jill seemed to consider this. To see history unfold in front of her. And if she got her hand on Straw Hat Luffy, she could question him, and get her answers to all the bets. Lots of beli to be made. Except . . .
"Nah, someone needs to keep the people here on their toes, and if things come to head, I will be needed to help with evacuating the island and such."
Vinn nodded his agreement.
"Still we need a third one. Any idea—"
"Dick, here you are." Jill said jovially. Extremely so.
Rick froze in his place, just about to enter the bar. The words: 'It's Rick, for Kraken's sake,' died on his lips.
The smile on Jill's face was pleased. It wasn't a grimace or smirk. But a true-to-the-Blues Smile. It showed all her teeth.
The problem was that Jill never smiled. NEVER. EVER. And definitely not at Rick.
"Emmmm . . . I already paid."
"Yes, you did, after I dragged it out of you."
She was still smiling. Rick felt he should turn tail and run. Maybe swim off this island.
"About the interest you owe me, I have the thing for you to pay it all up. To tell you the truth, not only would you pay up any future bets you have, I will owe you one."
Jill owned no one anything. They all owed her.
Yeah, his instincts screamed as he took a step inside the bar towards where the group was sitting.
He would come to regret this decision.
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Dracule 'Hawkeye' Mihawk raised his arm to cleave through the pests before him.
Honestly, while his initial motivation had been to just remove them from the path of his ship, it was an act of mercy really. Even Perona, who had come along with him to help restock some stores for the pantry missing from their garden, could tell there was no way these people would survive the seas. Their ship was obviously stolen from people who actually knew how to sail and care for it, and it was already in horrible condition. He knew people who would kill them for such blasphemy alone.
Even 'amateurs' was too polite a term for them.
Granted, the red-haired, burly woman's rage induced shouts about a mom or something had been impressive. It was what had made him pause his imminent attack. Except now the red-haired woman was snivelling and shaking away. On the other hand, she was still defiantly standing in front of her men in a protective gesture. What shou—
Two simultaneous flashes of light gave him pause.
"Huh?" said Perona, picking up the piece of paper.
The terrified insects had missed that they had received one too.
Curious, he vaulted over to their 'ship,' and picked it up to read.
"It says you're invited to Straw Hat's wedding!" cried Perona. "Him and the Curlybrowed Cook!"
Truly Zoro had worn off on her. Now if only she would adopt his stoicism as well.
"As are these people," he said dryly, flicking his piercing eyes onto them. Strangely, at his words the burly woman among them stiffened up, and seemed to find some modicum of courage.
"What'd you say?" she managed to grit out with something resembling politeness.
"Who are you to Straw Hat?" he said instead.
"Well I did raise him didn't I!? And that … that Fake MOM! Yonko, shomnko my behind! Bitchy monster trying to steal my baby from me! Luffy is mine! I have the scars to prove it! Wanna see? Do you know how many hairs I lost because of him and his brother… and now...now here he is getting married off to some—"
Ignoring the diatribe of this 'Dadan,' he guessed according to what was written on the invitation, Hawkeye calculated time, distance, and obstacles. On such short notice, even for him it would be cutting it close to get from this far up Paradise and down to Big Mom's territory within the New World. To do so when he had other responsibilities? Hmm, it could be a satisfying challenge, but more likely a nuisance.
And yet . . . to show up with Straw Hat's bandit family in tow, and to see how this woman, one who defied him, handled both Big Mom and the Germa 66 spawn?
Never mind, he already knew that there was no way this wedding would be boring, and including her would be a fine cherry on top!
He wondered if he had time to maybe stop by his home to pick up a few wine bottles to take with him on this journey. Good entertainment needed exotic drinks to accompany it. And the look on Linlin's face alone if this woman called her "Yonko, shomnko," would be payment enough for all the troubles these bandits would undoubtedly cause as extra luggage.
Plus, one could say he would owe the young man at least a little for the invitation to the finest foods and wine of the New World. To say nothing of the fun he could have with Red Hair over this.
Oh.
Oh my.
As he recalled . . . why yes, Straw Hat could not invite Red Hair without breaking their vow between each other. Which was rich chocolate syrup to go with that cherry. He would have to call the man. Maybe casually mention the invite. Yes, he could feel his boredom vanishing faster and faster. Why, he can't remember was the last time he started to feel so excited for what was to come!
He might be able to see Zorro's improvement too, after all it was Straw Hat who was his captain, so he was sure to show up. Maybe Perona will be inspired after she sees him to find her own independence, or to join up with his student at least.
Any and all demands in the background by the young lady in question to be his plus one were ignored. She would merely cause fuss of the irritating variety, not the chaotic he wanted. Plus he had another idea.
Decided, he paid attention again to the rabble, who had interpreted his silence as acceptance, and were all becoming increasingly loud and unruly as they vented their feelings.
A sweep of his gaze, and a smile with teeth, brought them in line.
"My pardon," he apologised with a slight, formal bow. "I should have introduced myself. I am Hawkeye Mihawk of the Seven Warlords, and it would be my pleasure to escort you to this wedding."
-0-0-0-
"The newspaper said all that!?" demanded Nami. Her sharp voice carried over the loud and unintelligible chaos the marriage announcement of their captain and cook created.
"Well, no," admitted Ace. He involuntarily gulped as the sudden chaos had vanished as quickly as it had appeared, and every eye was staring at him.
"They just admitted Charlotte Linlin, the Emperor, was his mom. The government's keeping the wedding quiet, yet the full story's spread through the underground network. Even then, it's pretty much confirmed that Luffy's her son, and then we got word that she'd nabbed him. And she's using him to seal a deal with the Germa 66, who are pretty nasty customers themselves."
"Wait," said Zoro, a drop of sweat on his forehead, "So the Big Mom Pirates abducted him because he's a part of their family? They want him to join up?"
"Yes," grimaced Ace. "All her top officers are her kids. And Luffy's not only somehow her kid, but he's pretty strong too."
The Straw Hats stared at him blankly, as one tipped their heads to the right in confusion.
The synchronisation of it was frankly disturbing for everyone else. Just how close were these people to each other?
"Wait, wait, wait," Usopp finally said, holding up his palms. "You're saying . . ." he trailed off as words failed him, and looked to the others for help.
"You're saying," Zoro said with utter incredulity, "that she had her strongest guy steal Luffy away from us, and the moron cook, to take him back to her place, because she expects to be able to force them both into a marriage alliance, and serve her as her officers?"
"Exactly," Sabo confirmed with a grim nod.
A beat.
As one the Straw Hats broke out laughing.
They grabbed their bellies, some lost control and fell to the ground and rolled on it. Tears flowed, and they just continued to express their hilarity.
"Yo ho ho ho ho!"
"Eh eh eh eh eh!"
"Mwa ha ha ha ha!"
"Fu fu fu fu fu fu!"
"Uha ha ha ha ha!"
The touch of hysteria to their voices, a jagged and sharp touch of madness, made the rest take a few hesitant steps back. These people might be a bunch of newbie pirates still, even if they did alright against the fodder of the Beast Pirates, yet even the Whitebeard Division Commanders, veterans of hundreds of battles and monsters, felt a chill of unease at provoking them.
What kind of crew would declare war upon the Beast Pirates?
What kind of crew would set fire to the flag of Enies Lobby?
What kind of crew would follow and serve the man to be the King of the Pirates?
Over two years ago, Ace had told his crybaby of a little brother that he would see Pops become the next Pirate King. He had held to that even in the face of learning what the kid had pulled off. It was only now that he felt a sliver of a doubt tarnish his conviction.
So as he always did when threatened by anything, he attacked.
"You think this is a laughing matter!?" he roared.
"Only ha ha ha the best!" managed Nami.
"A SUPER joke!" Franky boomed before his legs gave out.
After a few more giggles, Zoro mastered himself. "Well then," he said, a few more snickers escaping, "I wish her all the best. In the meantime we've got a wedding to crash."
"Just like that-yoi?" deadpanned Marco. "Do you even know what you're up against?"
Instead of answering, Zoro ignored the First Division Commander, and addressed Ace, "I suppose this means you'll be wanting to come along?"
For a split second Ace was too befuddled to answer right away. After all, they would be joining him! Except Zoro took that brief silence as an answer. "Excellent! Glad to have you! And I'm sure you and Sabo'll know what we need. So where does Curlybrow fit in?"
"Well," said Marco, managing to maintain his stoic appearance, "it turns out your chef's part of the Germa 66. Given the theme naming, he's the third son of their leader, Vinsmoke Judge. Not sure how he ties into this, but like Ace said, they're bad news, and a global power in their own right, if not on the level of Pops and the rest. Still, they're called the Empire of Evil for a reason. They must've gone to a lot of trouble to get his wanted poster to say he's to be taken alive. So he's valuable to them. He's to marry a Charlotte daughter, while your captain marries his sister, Reiju, in an unprecedented double marriage. Whatever's going on, it looks like it might be a full-blown alliance."
"Of course, of course," giggled Nami, her earlier guilt being buried away. "Luffy's mom is a living nightmare, and Sanji's family heads up a make-believe, mythical evil army that's actually real, and which he never told us about. Oh, and they both have siblings we were never told about or met!"
"You mean more than the other ones he never told us about!" chirped Chopper.
"Wait," interjected Sabo, palms raised. "Luffy never told you guys about Ace and I?"
"NO HE DIDN'T!" screamed the Weakling Trio into his face, fangs flashing, breathing fire, and a landscape of death and misery in their eyes. "HE NEVER TELLS US SQUAT AND NEXT THING WE KNOW WE HAVE VICE-ADMIRAL GARP THE HERO KNOCKING DOWN WALLS TO VISIT HIM!"
"Uhhh . . ." managed Ace and Sabo as they slowly backed off.
"Fu fu fu fu," laughed Robin. "What new surprises about his family will we learn next?"
"DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT IT!"
"Hold on," said Zoro, clutching his aching sides, "first off, how's that lead you guys to be here of all places?"
"Oh, well," said Sabo, waving his hand awkwardly, "obviously I knew Luffy would never be tied down like that, so I hurried over to meet up with Ace."
-0-0-0-
Flashback
"Who's that guy holding Ace in the water?"
"His former first mate. Don't sweat it. So you're Sabo, huh?"
-0-0-0-
Present
"So you're saying Dragon and Whitebeard are in an alliance?" asked Robin with a tilt of her head.
Despite how casual she sounded, Sabo was well aware of what a loaded question that was.
"Nah. Not officially anyways. After all, if we're going to be replacing the World Government, we can't be associated with murderous, criminal scum like you lot. Especially publicly. No offence. Except for Ace and Luffy."
His darling little brother made a rude gesture, while the rest shrugged it off.
"We get it, yoi," hummed Marco. "After all, they've painted Pops as a demon or worse to everybody outside the New World. I mean, he is, but still!"
Coughing into his fist, Sabo continued. "Anyways, so I'm not really here, you get what I'm saying? And while Whitebeard's not in the mood to go to war with Big Mom, messing things up for her is fine. Especially given the threat she'd be with the Germa 66 on her side, which down the line would also be a big problem for the Revolutionary Army."
Especially given their plans for the quickly upcoming Reverie. Everyone knew both Whitebeard and Kaidou were on their last legs, and probably going to go out killing each other. Especially after Luffy shut down the other Emperor's main supplier in the form of one Doflamingo. Given how studiously neutral Red Hair was, if Big Mom gained control of the Vinsmoke's military might on top of her own . . . well, Sabo knew they could not fight the World Government and her at the same time. So he would have to wrap this up quickly, and head back to the others.
And of course both Dragon and Whitebeard knew better than to give orders that would inevitably be disobeyed. Both brothers knew that if they were the ones captive, Luffy would do anything to save them, so how could they do any less for their baby brother?
After all, Luffy had broken into Impel Down due to a whole misunderstanding where he thought Ace was there, as opposed to really being with the Beast Pirates. So how could they do any less?
Not to mention how even before he left, Sabo knew that Ivankov (who Luffy had rescued in his technically unnecessary quest to save Ace) was already planning his own rescue mission to return the favour if nobody else was going to do it.
Now Ace took up the story. "And like Marco said, while we were sailing, one of our allied crews got a glimpse of a large fleet of Kaidou's ships, who we're still at war with. They've been holed up in Wano all this time—"
None of the Straw Hats batted an eye at that little revelation related to their samurai companions. Meanwhile Momonosuke found the ground utterly fascinating to stare at.
"—so for them to come out, we figured they were after you lot, given how you messed up Doflamingo's operation for them. And not to mention Straw Hat's help during the war between Pops, the marines, and Kaidou two years ago."
"What about you though?" said Sabo, voice carefully neutral. "You said you were here for a Vivre card?"
"Yeah, one of Law's people knows how to make one. Except you told us you made one back at Sabaody, so that's sorted."
"Ah, that I did." The older brother made a point of pulling out the piece of paper to show everyone it was perfectly healthy. "Sooooo . . . what's that you said about crashing a wedding?"
A shadow loomed over the Straw Hats as their eyes glowed red, and fangs glinted.
"Oh, I'm sure our invitations got lost in the mail," said Nami sweetly.
"These things happened," grinned Usopp jovially.
"We're family," pointed out Robin. "There's no need for an invitation."
"That's right!" chirped Chopper.
"Yo ho ho ho! I've just the songs!" cheered Brook.
"I'll go iron my birthday speedo," beamed Franky.
"No wedding's complete without a sacrifice upon the altar," smiled Robin tenderly. "And red looks so lovely on wedding whites."
"Eh," grunted Zoro, disinterested in the theatrics. "He already knows we're coming. Both of 'em."
"Riiiiight," said Ace amiably, refusing to show any reaction to that little display.
"Besides," and now Zoro's teeth were barred in a malicious grin. "This' probably the closest the Pervy Cook'll ever get to a woman. How can I pass up the chance to wreck it for him?"
His crewmates sighed, and Nami bopped him on the head.
"Uhm," Rebecca spoke up for the first time, "about that, what's this Reiju like? Or Pudding?" Beside her, Viola flushed a little, realising her niece's thoughts.
"Well," drawled Ace, "given their families, and all the Germa 66 and Big Mom Pirates have done, I'd have to say they're evil, devious, untrustworthy individuals."
"What my darling, open-minded brother is trying to say," Sabo dryly said, "is that even if they were nice kids growing up, they weren't removed from their families like Luffy and your chef must've been. For the Charlottes and Vinsomkes, the people they would've been raised among since childhood, and what it would take to survive to adulthood, means that they've done some pretty awful stuff, with personalities to match. Like really, it gets pretty horrible the stories you hear about them."
"Of course that's what I said!"
"No you didn't."
"Humph," pouted Ace a bit, before getting a bit cheeky. "Although, even with that being the case, I kinda feel sorry for 'em. I didn't really get a chance to meet Sanji, but can you imagine marrying my brother? Never mind your chef, we're going to be doing this Reiju a favour by ruining it all."
"True, true," nodded Sabo.
Nami and Robin exchanged knowing glances with each other. While the two of them deeply loved Luffy, there was the unspoken agreement that it was not romantically. Their feelings for him were not something they, even the archaeologist, would try to limit and lessen by putting into mere words, yet real all the same. However, they were not blind to the fact it could be surprisingly easy for certain young ladies to fall, and fall hard, for their rubber-headed captain.
Another shared look at Rebecca confirmed her own flushed face, and visibly biting back any words. Not that Luffy's equally dense siblings noticed.
And given a few offhand comments by Luffy about Hancock . . .
And of course Shirahoshi . . .
"Do you by chance have anything concrete about this Reiju?" Nami gently asked, as innocent as a delicate flower.
"Not really," admitted Sabo. He dug into his coat a bit. "As weird as it is, honestly one of the best sources we've got are these comic books."
". . . Sora, Warrior of the Sea?" said Robin, sounding a touch insulted.
"I think I've heard of those," said Franky, peering over for a closer look at the issues Sabo handed out.
"Some bright spark in the World Government got the idea to write these as propaganda, and to make people not believe a so-called fictional organisation's really real," explained Marco. "They're basically about the evil Germa 66 being beaten by the legendary marine Sora. The only thing that seems off, is how in real life these villains tend to win. Everything else is surprisingly accurate. Disturbingly so I've even heard. They're led by Judge, and his five children, with Reiju as the oldest daughter."
Unbeknownst even to herself, Rebecca was starting to glare at the comic pictures of 'Poison Pink,' which seemed to emphasise looking at her rear and cleavage.
In fact, twisting around to show both at once looked pretty painful on the spine.
"That includes Sanji?" asked Brook, pointing at the sole brother with blonde hair. "It says 'Stealth Black' is the 'No. 3' member of the Germa 66, and that fits with his name."
"Fake Curlybrow's looks almost as stupid as the real one," said Zoro with a smirk. Oh, he was so going to mess with the stupid chef with all this!
"This is so cool!" gushed Chopper. "So what special, evil ability does Stealth Black have? Can Sanji do it?"
-0-0-0-
"No!"
"Sanji," huffed Reiju, "be sensible!"
He just glared at the object she was offering him, about the size and shape of a good can of beans, with a '3' written on it. "You know what sort of threats we're going to be facing," she cajoled. "You'll need every edge you can get."
". . ."
"Look, this raid suit will make you stronger, faster, defend you from bullets and fire, and, well, you know what Stealth Black can do, right?"
"That's from those ridiculous comics, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"How's that even a thing?"
"It's a little funny actually," she shrugged. "But yes, it was all the World Government. For you, they had to make up an ability for you, so I suggested it would be a great joke if we made a raid suit for you based on it. In truth, it was to be able to give this to you if I had the chance."
The frown on her brother's face became more conflicted. "So what's Stealth Black's special move?"
"Invisibility."
Now he was interested as he gasped in shock.
Peeping toms around the world bowed down and grovelled before the One True Master. For he had received enlightenment. Amen!
With shaking hands, he reached out towards it, before taking it in a steely grasp.
"My crushed dream . . . Has been revitalised by the Germa Science that I always despised . . . !? Thank you, Reiju, thank you! This power will surely be useful! For peeping in a woman's bat—No, no... In helping my crew!"
"Uhm, good," she said with a little uncertainty.
"Yes!" he said, staring at it with a feverish expression. "I will certainly use this for bath hou—I mean—"
"No." With a dark expression, she plucked it from his hands, and stalked off.
"But Reiju!"
"No! I don't really mind if it's just peasants, but . . . no!"
"Reeeeiijuuuuu~~!"
"No!"
-0-0-0-
"Oh, he turns invisible," answered Sabo offhandedly. "Not that it's likely they'll give him Germa tech to do so. It's not like he can turn invisible already is it?"
"He'd be caught a lot less while perving," deadpanned Zoro.
"No~!" sniggered Usopp. "He's be caught by all the blood gushing out of his nose~!"
With a groan, Nami smacked his head too. "Don't even think about it." With a huff, she put her hands on her (shapely) waist. "So basically you're saying this Reiju and Pudding are devious, evil, untrustworthy, and've no idea what they're getting into."
"Yep," smirked Ace.
"Y'know it," said Sabo, and his smirk was as malicious as his brother's. The glorious anticipation of schadenfreude.
"Okay then," said Zoro, taking charge of his crew. "We should get back with the others. Plus there's a lot of help these Minks need."
"Right!" cried Chopper. "I've got to get back to the patients!"
"Oh yes!" nodded Brook.
"There's still a lot to do to help," said Robin sagely.
"I'll get some SUPER repairs done!"
The Minks present were nearly crying at such generosity from those who had already saved them.
"Oh don't worry there," reassured Marco. "No way I'd leave former crewmates in the lurch like this-yoi."
"Especially since they're still family for me," said a new voice, and everyone turned to see a man with lipstick and a kimono come to join them. Those more informed, recognized him as Whitebeard Division Commander Izo.
The Straw Hats also recognized the woman with him as Koala, having met her at Sabaody with Sabo. In her they had recognized a kindred spirit in trying to keep a ball of chaos in line; even worse since their respective headaches whom they would all die for, were brothers.
"Koala," beamed Robin, while the younger woman threw herself at the archaeologist for a tight hug.
Still in his dragon form, Momonosuke's eyes were bugging out at the sight of Izo, yet he was stammering too hard to be understood. Indeed, the Whitebeard pirate mistook it for the gibberish of Rebecca's 'pet,' and dismissed it.
At first glance the similarity to a dragon had been striking, yet it had been too weak and scrawny to be a threat. Besides, there was only ever a single dragon at a time, so any similarities were simply a coincidence.
"So this is Zou," he said, looking around in wonder. "Now I finally get to see what the dog and cat were always going on about."
"Do you mean our kings?" asked Pedro diffidently, hoping to convey the need for secrecy here. Because yes, they knew this man was of the Kozuki clan, but also it was not Pedro's decision to make when certain secrets were to be revealed, and he hoped to bring their rulers in on this.
Both Izo and Marco's eyes twitched slightly in surprise. Only before they could say anything, or figure it out—
"IZO!?"
The gunslinger gaped for a split second, before grinning wide at the sight of his old friends, brothers, and so much more. "Inuarashi! Nekomamushi! Kin'emon! Oh wow, Kin, you haven't aged a day! This something Toki did?"
-0-0-0-
Solemnly Kaidou placed down the sake cup beside the picture of Jack, the last of his Disasters, and a valued member of his crew. Someone he had actually respected.
Now though, his Vivre Card had burned away, and he was lost.
Slowly he stood up from where he knelt, and resisted the urge to grab some more booze. With the burning fury inside of him, he knew he was at risk of just flying off for vengeance, only to risk disaster by leaving Wano woefully undefended, or even being captured himself.
As things already stood, his dream was in danger of dying. Not in glorious battle as it deserved, but withering away like a parched vine.
First Joker, now Jack.
For the former, well, his defeat was a little less surprising after learning certain new revelations from his spies. It makes sense for him to be that hag's spawn, she was always thorn in my side even when we got along. Like mother, like son
Of course that doesn't mean I am going to let it go. Former crewmates or not, debt I owe her or not, this the second time the little monkey brat interfered with my plans, one way or another there will be no third time.
As for whoever killed Jack . . .
A part of him warned that he should let the matter go. That his hold upon his territory was perilous as it was, especially as the accursed Kozuki heir and his rabble were still free. However, he also had to know who had killed his man and how.
Nor could he let this insult pass.
So deep in thought, he stalked away from the shrine, vowing he would have his vengeance.
~~To Be Continued…~~
Author Notes:
Hawkeye is the name of the person who Luffy wanted to invite in the previous chapter, which surprised Reiju so much. There were other surprises of course, yet the World's Greatest Swordsman is someone she had no inkling he had any connection to.
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Okay, now things are really starting to advance plot wise! :-D
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