Switching to Rouxls Kaard's P.O.V Kinda? Yes please thank you. Also, this vaguely revolves around a headcanon of mine. It might not be obvious, so uh if you wanna know ask me about it? I kinda self projected onto him a bit because the headcanon is also something I struggle with? Idk man just read.

It was never understood why Jakk looked so guilty. Well, never mind, it was understood, Rouxls just never understood why he felt guilty for…well, why he felt guilty.

If he was honest with himself, he didn't remember the incident. He was only five, and he was unconscious most of the time, anyway, whether it be from pain or the pain medicines, he was always seemingly fast asleep.

What he does remember was pretty fuzzy. Hands swinging him around, connected to a blurry resemblance of Jakk in his youth, then the looseness of Rouxls being let go, and practically sent flying.

Then, he woke up in somewhere bright, and unfamiliar, which turned out later on to be a hospital. Jakk stood beside him, eyes saddened, scared, and guilty, staring down at the probably momentarily shell resembling his sibling.

"I told you so Jakk-" Rouxls remembered telling him, and then his eyes shut, and he was fast asleep again.

So, like he said, he didn't remember.

Perhaps he was overthinking. There were many things he didn't understand, like, how does the average, neurotypical brain work? He spent years trying to grasp that one. He would look at Jakk and ask himself, "Does Jakk think like I do? Does he think in the same way I am? Or is he the same way as I am?"

He was always confused by the neurotypical mind. How were they so good at words? If they didn't have an intense focus on something, what did they even talk about half of the time? Do they also struggle with communication? Even Jakk, as weird as he was, seemed so good with words. It was almost mind boggling. Did Jakk's mind change subjects so quickly, as quickly as Rouxls' mind tended to endlessly wander? Or was it just a simplistic personality aspect? If yes, was this a curse? Or a superpower?

Rouxls shook his head. That itself was a major mystery. No one seemed as interested in bugs as he was, and that kind of seemed like a curse. Especially in his younger years. He was ridiculed too many times for it to be relatively normal. Well, he couldn't complain. His mother always told him to expect that.

"A nose-less kid won't appeal to the other girls."

"A girl with short hair won't appeal to the boys."

"A girl who only talks about insects won't appeal to the other students."

"A girl with labels such as yours won't appeal to anyone, understand that, Rouxls."

Labels. They were for sure a curse. Whether it be your gender, or your identity, or a neurological thing that interfered with your communication-

Communication. That was one of the most complex concepts for Rouxls to grasp.

Rouxls. Rouxls Kaard. The person who never appealed to anyone.

His train of thought was lost. What was he thinking about again?

He stared up at the walls, consisting of collections of butterfly displays kept together by framed glass. He had put practically his whole life now into his bug collection, his knowledge of entomology. The largest centipede is no longer than 1 centimetere long. The longest is 12 inches. Insects are on every continent on Earth, well, the light world, presumably, except for Antarctica.

Oh, how he wished he could go up there. Discoveries that he couldn't even imagine making for himself that would seem trivial to others but at its utmost importance to him.

He started rocking back and forth. He was getting too excited. Overwhelmed by the day and the coming thoughts, perhaps.

Calm down, Rouxls.

He stood up, looking at his collection once more, before taking off and leaving.