Cologne : Updated

Chapter One

Kurt's POV

Why did everything hurt so much? The pain hurt so much that I feel like I can't breathe, that's how I know I'm still alive. Every inch of my body felt tortured like someone was constantly slicing small cuts into my skin to give me a reminder that I will never be able to heal and the suffering would never leave me. My body was crying just a much as my eyes did. My mind was set in the pain in a constant loop and the burning from my tears that streamed down my cheeks was just as hurtful as the burning sensation in my heart. Loving him was the most exquisite form of self destruction. He was perfect but it was my own imperfect ways that had ruined us.

"Why can't I get rid of you?"

I picked up the bottle of cologne that was perched on my dressing table, it was nearly empty but my heart didn't have it in me to threw it away in the trash like I did my relationship. It smelled amazing but I guess that was because it smelled like him. That woody floral scent that I loved so much was now a memory instead of a reality. I didn't get to smell it on him anymore but sometimes I would spray it on my pillow and close my eyes, imagining it was him laying next to me in bed on bad days. The scent lingered in my nose, torturing me yet soothing me at the same time. I felt dizzy as the pain rippled through my heart and I had to place it back down and grip hold of the dresser to steady myself. I hated myself for what I did, I hated the thought of knowing how much I hurt him and the others but I did it to protect them. I always protected them even if they didn't know it.

"I miss you so much."

My voice was barely a sound that came from my mouth. It was weak just like my body was and I had to sit down on my bed to try and calm my pounding heart. I heard Finn outside of my room, pacing back and forth undecided if he should come and disturb me or not.

"Finn?"

The door opened slowly and my lanky brother popped his head in with a smile. I would have been lost without my him, he was a hero in my eyes. I watched him shut the door and make his way over to me and I couldn't help but smile. He always made me feel better even on my shitty days.

"I heard you talking to yourself again. I was ready to call the crazy crew to come and take you away."

I watched his mouth turn into a smirk and I couldn't help but laugh. He had changed so much the past year and I was forever grateful for his kindness and compassion. He placed a comforting hand on my knee and didn't push, he just waited patiently like he always did.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly as I placed my hand over his gently and he nodded. "It's just getting harder and harder. Four more days and I'll be back there Finn it just doesn't seem real right?"

"Do you need more time dude? I could call Mr Alexander?"

"No, it's okay thank you. I've had long enough. It's not like I have a choice is it?"

Finn face turned into anger and I could see how much this was affecting him too. He was the only one that knew why I did what I did and it hurt him just as much as it hurt me. He sighed as he started to lay down, gesturing for me to do the same so I did what I was told and smiled wider as his hand joined with mine.

"This year has sucked dude."

"I know Finn. I wish I could just rewind time and make it all go away."

"You promise you'll call me everyday?"

"Fuck." I whispeared as my eyes welled with tears already at the thought of leaving my brother. "Yeah I promise, I'll call you everyday. I love you Finn."

"I love you more little bro."

I turned my head to Finn who was watching my face waiting for me to break. I lifted my head slowly and placed it on his chest and before I knew it his long strong arms was cradling me, keeping my mind safe and my body protected.

"Now, I didn't get to chance to catch up on project runaway. I need the gossip little bro, I need to know if she wore that ugly red strappy dress."

I let out a laugh as I placed a kiss to his cheek. The things he would do just to make me happy. I thought back to last year and how we couldn't even be in the same room as each other and now look at us? It was incredible. I might of lost everything but the best thing that came out it was my brothers love.

"Oh Jesus you should of seen it. It was practically taped to her body. It looked like she had been dragged through a bush and don't even get me started on that god damn hair."

"Please put it on right now dude, there's a reason I'm home early from football practice!"


Blaine's POV

They was all starting at me, waiting for my to break like porcelain. I thought that was ironic giving the fact that porcelain was best friends nickname for his ex boyfriend. I felt sick to my stomach, even after a year it still felt like yesterday me and the love of my life broke up. I told myself not to fall for the blue eyed man over and over again and I started to blame myself for getting myself involved with a human but he was such a lovely human.

"Bee?"

He cheated on me. The love of my life cheated on me and I never understood why. I gave him everything he could ever want and all in return I wanted was his love but he couldn't even be faithful. I tried to hate him but it almost impossible. He was perfect in every possible way and no one could deny that. I remember the nights I used to wake up and just look at him, his vague outline on the darkness of out room and the the feeling of his warm breath blowing against my cold skin.

"Please talk to us honey."

To not only find out your boyfriend had cheated but to catch them was a whole different aspect. It burned through my mind the memory of their hands all over each others bodies and the sound of their pleasures moans was playing through my ears everyday all day. My head felt like it was spinning and I couldn't shake it off today. I felt a comforting hand on my thigh but I was blinded by the pain so I stood up quickly to get some fresh air.

"Please talk to me."

It was my best friend Nick. Nick had been my comfort blanket when Kurt left. All the guys were great but Nicky? He understood what I was going through. He had been there through everything, the grief, the heartache and the anger. I swore Nicky put up with more shit from my relationship than he did with his own. I opened my mouth but it felt dry and my words wouldn't come out. I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I looked away in embarrassment. I couldn't handle it. I needed air. I made my way to the double doors of the common where we were sitting and I started running and I didn't look back. I heard them calling after me but I ignored them and ran through the hallways and then through the gardens until I felt the cold air hit my face.

"Oh Bee, I wish I could take this pain away from you."

I looked up to see Nick nearly in tears at the sight of me and I breathed out slowly and shakily as his arms wrapped around my body, protecting me from all the pain. His lips was pressing kisses into my hair trying to sooth me but I couldn't help it as the tears flowed and the sobs escaped my throat.

"Why me? I just don't understand. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me Nicky."

His fingers was running through my unruly curly hair and I couldn't help but smile at his soft touches. I would be lost without him, I would be lost without every single one of them.

"I wish I knew honey. That bastard is fluent in lies and bullshit and he's a fool. You're perfect do you understand? I don't know why he did this but I know I'm my heart that he'll regret it until the day that he gets put into the ground. This is not on you, it's on him."

"I fucking hate myself for missing him. I've tried so hard but every time I think about it my heart shatters all over again. How do I make it stop Nicky?"

His hands was all over my body but it wasn't sexual, it was comforting. He soft kisses that continued to press into my skin made my eyes close and my body tingle.

"You can't make it stop Blaine. That's the thing about having a broken heart is that it's not easily mended." He said into my ear softly before carrying on. "I could kill him for what he's done to you and my boyfriend. I think I could actually do it and it scares me. How do I make that stop?"

Kurt and Jeff was inseparable from the day they met each other. They was best friends, just like Nick was to me and Wesley was to David. Apart from himself it had affected the blonde more than anyone else. His heart was shattered too just like it was his own. Even the mention of the blue eyed man's name jeffery had to leave the room. Kurt had cut all contact with all of them once he left Dalton, including the blonde. It was devastating to watch.

"You can't make it stop Nicky. That's the thing about having your heart broke, it's not easily forgiven." I whispered back to him as he cupped my face with his gently hands. "I know how much you loved hi-

"This has got nothing to do with me honey, I'm here to help yo-

"You loved him just as much as I did. I know you're angry but you can't deny that. It's okay to feel this way, he broke your heart too."

"I know Blaine." He said with a sigh as he looked into my eyes and all I could see was pain. "I think that's why I'm so angry still you know? I can't shake him either the bastard."

I let out a small laugh and so did he as we started to walk back into Dalton hand in hand. I always felt better after speaking to Nick, just his presence alone made me feel one hundred times better. We walked in a comfortable silence through the school as our thoughts kept are mind racing knowing one day we would see him again and we didn't know how we was going to react.

"Are you okay?"

It was Jeff and I could see the worry in his eyes. Even through his own heartbreak he was always there for me. I opened my arms for him and a second later he was wrapped around me holding me tightly.

"I don't want to lie to you." I whispeared into his ear and he nodded knowing exactly the feeling I was going through. "Are you okay?"

"No." Jeff said through his broken voice. "I don't think I'll ever be okay again. I just wish I could of seen him just once after he left. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, it makes you human."

The others laughed softly at the inside joke as we all started to sit back down together. Wesley was already handing me a solo cup filled with that red liquid I craved so much and he gestured for me to drink.

"You've hardly been drinking lately. You need to drink Anderson, you need your strength."

"You haven't realise that we've noticed that you haven't been drinking either?" I said as I looked into his green eyes and he rolled them as he sat down.

"Just drink Anderson."

I looked at him for a second before nodding and taking a sip. I forgot how much I needed it and soon enough the red liquid was sliding down my throat and it was gone. I seen a smirk on his face but I handed him it back anyway for him to fill up for me again.

"Don't be so smug. It's not your best look."

Wes laughed as he started to rip the blood bag open with his teeth and started to pour the thick liquid into the solo cup again. I watched him do it, we all did. He was the only out of all of us who hadn't broke about him leaving but we all knew he was grieving on his own terms.

"How long has it been anyway?" Wes asked as he handed the cup back to me as I thanked him.

"A year tomorrow. It doesn't seem real does it?" David voiced out as he stared at his own solo cup that was bending with his grip.

"No it doesn't Davey. You know when he left I thought we would at least see him you know? Maybe around The Mall or something but we haven't at all. How do we even kn-

"How do we even know he's okay?" Jeff whispeared as he stared at his own hands refusing to look up.

"That's not our concern." Wes said turning his head to the blonde and I could of hit him for the bluntness of it. "He made his bed now he had to lay in it. I'm sorry but it's the truth blondie."

"Don't fucking call me that."

I turned my head in shock, we all did at Jeffery who eyes was flashing red at the pet name. "You don't get to call me that Wes. Are you trying to hurt me? Is that what you want? Haven't we all suffered enough?"

"Look jeffery, I'm sorry. That was out of line." Wes said with a sigh as he kept his eyes on the blonde. "But we all have opinions and we are all entitled to feel differently. I'm with Nicky, he's a bastard and I hope I never seen him again."

"Do you really honestly think we believe that Wes? Are you forgetting we know about th-

"I'm not speaking about this Jeffery. I have nothing to say about it or to him. That doesn't matter anymore, he's dead to me."


Kurt's POV

It was July 23rd. Exactly one hear since I left Dalton. People always told me time was a healer but that's fucking bullshit. Who the fuck made that shit up? If anything it made it progressively worse and the deep scaring across my wrist would most definitely prove that. My thumb ran circles across my scaring as I thought back to the day I wanted to end everything and my eyes pricked with tears.

I shook it off and stood to make my way to the bathroom, glancing to the near empty bottle of cologne that was torturing me every single day. I turned the light on but I flinched and squeezed my eyes shut at the artificial light but I ignored it and walked over to the mirror and looked at myself.

My eyes. Once filled with happiness and joy was now so tedious and lifeless and the dark circles from my lack of sleep was worse than ever. I sighed and moved from the mirror and turned the shower on so I could get myself ready for the day. I started to take the clothing from my body and watched myself do it as the disgust spread across my pale face but I ignored it too and got into the shower.

The thought of returning to Dalton was making my stomach churn and do backflips. The thought of having to face his family after what he did was unbearable but he knew there was no way out of it. Mr Alexander the head of Dalton Academy had gave me a year out. He was very understanding and even sympathetic which baffled Kurt completely. How could anyone be sympathetic towards someone who had did such an awful, disgusting thing as cheating on your boyfriend in his own bed?

He didn't know if they knew about his return but he couldn't stop thinking about it. He knew they wouldn't care apart from his best friend. Would he even be his best friend anymore? They hadn't talked for year now and every day he thought about the blonde but he couldn't bare to see him after everything that had happened. He wished he could tell them why he did what he did but it wouldn't make a difference anymore, they would still hate his guts. He would rather them hate him for eternity then to know the truth about the few weeks leading up to his departure but he didn't have all of eternity…

They did.

Kurt thought back to when he first found out about Vampires. You see it in movies and read it in novels and you think you know what they are. This made up mythology creature who comes out at night to stalk you and feed off your blood? You've got it totally wrong.

It sounded delusional and insane and even if he wanted to tell anybody he knew no one would believe him and the next step would be a straight jacket and four white walls that suffocated him in his own thoughts. Even after everything that had happened he knew they all trusted him with their secret. How do you react when you find out your boyfriend and all of your friends are immortal and over four hundred years old, drinking blood to sustain a happy and healthy lifestyle. How do you react to that information?

The first thing that ran through my mind was that they were definitely going to chew on him like a malnourished, neglected child who hasn't ate for days.

He rolled his eyes at the thought and started to walk out the shower and placed a towel around his waist. They had decided to go shopping today for a his last minutes toiletries so he could pack them away in his suitcase. He skipped his moisturising routine and dried himself before throwing a hoodie over his head and a pair of ripped skinny jeans he would of hated in the past but had grown fond of the past year.

"Are you ready dude? Am I safe to walk in or do I need to cover my eyes?"

"Don't worry dude, your masculinity will be perfectly intact." I shot back with a smirk as he peered through his hands. "No cock and balls in sight."

"Thank cheeseus for that. I was ready to get my pepper spray out."

"Don't be so dramatic." I said with a laugh as a grabbed my phone from the nightstand and wallet. "You've seen my junk over a hundred times."

"Man, have you seen the size of that thing? There's a reason I don't like looking at it and it isn't because I'm straight and your brother it's because it fucking scares me."

I burst into laughter with him as we start to make our way downstairs of my childhood home. Even eight months on I can't go into the kitchen without feeling like my whole world was falling apart all over again. We got to the bottom of the stairs and Finn went to grab his phone while I waited at the door as my phone buzzed to indicate I had a text message. I lifted it up and felt like the air was being ripped out of me when I read the text.

From Blondie : I miss you baby.

I knew he would know that I had read the message but I didn't have the heart to reply. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at myself in the hallway mirror. It buzzed again and they fell down my cheeks because I knew it was him again.

"What's the matter dude?"

I pass him my phone without a word said and I watched him as he read the messages. He glanced back up to be before bringing me into a bro hug.

"Why don't you message him back? You've got to live with him again soon. He wants to be your friend Kurt why can't you just let him? I'm sorry dude but who else is willing to do that?"

I glanced to my phone as I let out a sob and read the next message that was on the screen. I felt disgusted that I had ignored every phone call, text and knock on my door for the past year. I know he wanted me, I knew he needed me yet I didn't reply.

From Blondie : Please, just let me know you're okay. I can't do this Kurt. I just need to know you're safe. I love you.

"See? He still loves you. That's not going to change anytime soon. Please just give him some peace man."

After a few seconds I nodded and gently took the phone out his hands as we left the house. I shut it over and started to try and lock up but my hands was shaking so much so Finn took them from me and told me to go to the car.

"I'll do it man. Just text him back."

I nodded, my voice becoming mute as I made my way over to the car and I lifted my phone up to text him back. I didn't know what to say so I just did the easiest thing that came to my mind.

To Blondie : I miss you too blondie.


"He texted me back." Jeff whispeared in shock as he stared at his phone and their eyes went wide as they watched the tears run down his face. "I've sent him thousands of messages and he's never texted back."

"What did he say?"

Jeff looked up to Blaine for a second before handing him his phone over and they all gathered around to read the message.

"Is that it? After a year that's all he's got to say to you?" Blaine said in disbelief as a laugh left his mouth. "He owes you a lot more than four words jeffery."

"I know but he texted me back Blaine. It's something right?"

"I swear if he breaks your fucking heart again I'll rip him to pieces." Nick said angrily as he started to pace laughing to himself.

"Please Nicky, just sit down? Please?" Jeff begged as he wiped his eyes and his boyfriend knew he needed him so he nodded and sat down next to him.

It only took a second and Jeff sobbed into his boyfriend shoulder as he read the message over and over again. They felt sick to their stomachs as they all started to experience different emotions to the affectionate message.

"Text him back." Blaine said emotionless as he passed the phone over to the blonde. "He's your best friend and no matter what has happened between me and him he's still your world. Text him back jeffery, you need this."

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you sweetie."

"I can't hate you for loving him just as much as I can't hate myself for the same thing. I love you and I know how hard this is been for you so please text him back."

"I love you too." Jeff said brokenly as he leaned forward and kissed his cheek.


From Blondie: You don't know how much it means to me that you've texted me back. Please tell me you're okay? 3

I read the messaged to Finn as they drove to the store. It was killing me and my voice broke halfway through as i struggled to get the words out.

"What the fuck do I say to that? I'm not okay Finn I'm far from it but I can't lie to him. It feels wrong."

"We have a plan little bro. The only way you're going to survive is if you act like everything is okay. So you lie, you tell them you're fine and you get this year over with and come home to me."

I look to my brother and sighed. I knew he was right that I wouldn't survive if I was my usual, emotional and depressed self. If only they knew about the year I've had. He nodded to me with a smile and I glanced back down to my phone ready to give him one last message.

To blondie: I'm great.

I turned my phone off and placed it on my pocket. I couldn't read his reply, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and cry myself to sleep but I knew Finn wouldn't let me.

"What's the plan man?"

"I act like everything is okay. I don't take shit from them. If they argue I give as good as I get. The more distance myself the easier it will be for them to hate me and not ask questions."

"And?"

"Finn please." I said tiredly as I glanced back to him. "Don't make me say it."

"And?"

"Whatever happens, I don't hurt myself. If feel like I'm breaking I come home to you."

He looked at me and reached over for my hand, joining it with me as he drove. The rest of the ride was in a comfortable silence and I didn't mind that. I needed time to think and he knew that's what I needed and Finn broke the silence after we pulled up at the store.

"He would be so proud of you."

As soon as I heard the words I exhaled as I closed my eyes. I knew he was right but it didn't seem right that he wasn't hear to tell me. I nodded, unable to get my words out so I leaned over and placed a kiss to his cheek.

"I feel like doing something reckless. You know in the movies where someone does something to cover up how they really feel? I wanna do something like that Finn." I said breathlessly as I started to take the seatbelt from my body. "I feel like just saying fuck it you know and shocking them."

I seen the shocked look on his face as he placed the back of his hand on my forehead. "Dude, are you sick? Do you feel sick?"

"Fuck you Finn, I'm being serious!" I said slapping his hand away as he started to laugh with me.

"How about a piercing?"

I laughed hysterically as I started to jump out of the car already feeling better. "No, that's not going to be shocking enough. Plus I'm a fucking pussy, that'll hurt like a bitch."

"So I'm guessing a tattoo is off the table dude?"

"Hell no and ruin my beautiful skin?"

"What about dying your hair?"

I stopped for a moment to look at him. That would be shocking, they knew I would never touch my hair with dye in a million years.

"Dude, your hair is like your life. You don't even like when someone touches it. What is it that you say every morning?"

"Life isn't perfect but your hair can be!" I said dramatically as I placed a hand to my heart and he laughed harder nodding his head.

"I'll bet you anything you won't dye your hair."

I stop in my tracks and glanced to my brother who was smirking at me, challenging me. I raise my eyebrow at him before leaning closer. "Pick the colour."

I watched as his eyes went wide at the shock as he stopped his in his tracks. He knew I never turned down a bet because I was to competitive. I was exactly like my dad, cut from the same cloth.

"Oh dude, if you're bullshitting me right now I swear to go-

"You know what a colour is right Frankinteen? There's red, yellow, pink, green, orange, purple an-

"Blue." Finn said with a smirk cutting him me off my from sentence and I looked at him in horror.

"Seriously? Hasn't he been through enough?"

It was Blaine's favourite colour and my brother knew that. He always used to say it reminded him of my eyes. He loved that colour just as much as he loved me. Blaine said all the time the first thing he fell in love with out of everything was my ocean blue eyes.

"Imagine if you walked in with blue hair. Imagine the look on their faces dude it would be priceless!"

I look at him as my mouth formed a mischievous smile and he matched it. "Fuck it."


"I'm going to pull every single strand of hair out of his head."

They glanced to Nick who looking into disbelief at the message his boyfriend had received back. They was all angry, after a year and all he could say was that he was great?

"Nicky."

"No baby, I'm sorry." Nick said with a sigh as he read the message again and looking back up to his boyfriend.

"So apparently he's great now and we are all still reeling from his infidelity with that slimy fuck? Why does he get to move on? Why doesn't he get to suffer like we all did the past year?"

"He could just be saying it. Maybe he's just trying to be strong." David added as he placed a hand on Nick to try and calm him down. "He could be worse and just to proud to say it. How do we know? We haven't seen him for a year."

"I hope he's suffered David. I'm sorry but I do. I hope he's had the worse year of his life. I wish it on him everyday and still do."

"You don't mean that Nicky."

"Oh I do Blaine. I really fucking do." Nick said seriously as he didn't move his gaze from his eyes. "He hurt you, he hurt the person I love. I'm sorry but I can't shake that no matter how much I loved him. What about you Montgomery?"

"I hoped he got acne and all his hair fell out with stress the first few weeks." Wes said with a smirk as he sat down next to Nick who was trying to contain his laughter from his glaring boyfriend. "Then I just hoped he was miserable and everything went wrong for him. You David?"

"I hated him for such a long time but I jus-

"I don't know man."

"Come on you can say it. We need to know where everyone stands."

David placed his solo cup down on the table and looked up to his best friend. "I fucking miss my little baguette."

Wes swallowed hard as he watched his best friend struggle. He knew how much he meant to him but David didn't really talk about it unless he was asked.

"I despise what he did to us. I despise the heartache he's put you through Blaine but if I ever seen him again I couldn't ignore him even if my mind told me too. I don't know wh-

"Because you're to much of a nice person David. You're neutral, you always have been and that shouldn't stop because he hurt me. I know where my loyalties are and that's been proven the last year." Blaine said with a huge smile at him and David gave him one back.

"I love you man but I also love that fruitcake too." David said with a laugh as he picked his cup back up. "And I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be sorry, you can't help the way you feel Day. Does anyone know if he's coming back to Dalton?" Blaine asked around and they shook their heads.

"Nothing has been mentioned Blaine but I seen on the records he was on emergency leave for a year. I'm guessing it won't be along until he's back."

"I'm not ready Wes. I'm not ready to see him again." Blaine admitted as he looked up to his friend.

Wes didn't say anything as pulled out his book again and started to read. Blaine sat back and watched him, turning the page casually like Kurt coming back didn't affect him.

"Do you wanna ta-

"No Anderson I'm good. You just concentrate on yourself okay?"


Kurt turned the hair clippers off and placed them gently down before lifting his head back up to the the mirror. He started to smile and it only got wider as he glanced to his hair. He titled his head to get a better look and a laugh escaped his throat.

"Did you fucking do it?"

"I did it." Kurt whispeared and a few seconds later he let out a laugh and titled his head to the side to have a better look at his hair.

It was electric blue. Two thousand and ten Katy Perry blue. Shaved down shorter on the sides, faded beautifully and the top was left layered and curled slighty to give it a messy look. He didn't think he ever felt this confident in himself ever. He looked hot. He heard banging on the door and his laughing only got louder as he titled his head to the side to get his side profile.

"Dude, did you actually fucking do it or did you just turn them on to tease me? I know you said you can't rush perfection but I'm dyin-

Kurt opened the door and watched his brothers mouth fall open in shock and his laughter got louder. Finn opened his mouth to try and find words but he was dumbfounded.

"So? What do you think?" Kurt said teasingly as he placed his hands on his hips and look he was giving him was priceless.

"You know what dude, if we wasn't brothe-

"Don't you ever finished that sentence Finn Hudson." Kurt choked out in shock as he placed a hand to his mouth.

"Man you look smoking. I don't even think I would need to be into dudes to w-

Okay! I'm done now you can leave!" Kurt shouted out as he started to push his brother out the room.

"You know I'm right! I can see it on your face! You know you look hot!" Finn argued back with a grin as he grabbed hold on his brothers wrists and pushing himself back into the bedroom.

Kurt finally stopped fighting and gave up, lifting his hands in the air surrendering in defeat. "Fuck Finn, I look hot. I don't think I've ever felt hot before. Maybe cute but definitely not hot."

"Man I can't wait to see their faces tomorrow! They're going to shit bricks!"

Finn was so proud of his brother. He knew how much this meant to him and it wasn't just because he had cut and coloured his hair. This was his new start, his fresh start and a second chance and that's all he ever wanted for him.

"I feel so much more free Finn. Like who knew cutting your hair and colouring it could make you feel this way? Fuck. If I knew it would make me feel this good I would do done it years ago!" Kurt shook his head in disbelief as he sat down on the bed with his brother. "I feel like a totally different person Finn. I know it's only hair but it was my hair! It was everything to me. It was the only thing I've always kept the same and now it's gone. New hair, new me right?"

"Man you're so happy. I don't think I've seen you this happy for a long time."

"I just feel like I can do anything now. I feel confident for the first time in a year and I feel like I could walk through them doors with my head held high." Kurt said with a sad smile as he looked up to his brother. "I just hope I can keep the charade for long enough for them to not ask any questions about me leaving or the year I've had."

"What about blondie?"

"I don't think I can do this without him. I can't loose him again. I'm just going to have to work my way around it and just lie through my teeth. It's going to be easier to keep it from just him than all of them." Kurt took a breath and ran a hand through his hair to break it up slighty. "I'm so nervous Finn. I can hear my heart pounding at just the thought of seeing them all again."

"You're gonna get through this dude I promise. The first day is gonna be rough but you're a tough cookie like Burt."

"Yeah, I guess I am." Kurt said with a huge smile as he glanced to the photo on his bedside of him and his dad from when he was only a child. "Shall we pack my case?"

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"If I'm not ready now I don't think I ever will be."


"I wonder why he's called an emergency meeting with us. Doesn't he have a meeting today with the board?" Wes asked as he sat down on the sofa next to his best friend.

"Yeah he does." David looked at his watch and frowned for a second. "He's meant to be in the meeting right now. You don't think it's about Kurt do you man?"

"I hope not." Wes said looking over to Blaine who was refusing to meet their eyes. "He's not ready."

Mr Alexander came through the door in a hurry, shutting it over and looking up to the five men who was sitting waiting for his arrival. "I'm sorry for the disturbance, it's been a very long morning. May I sit?"

"Of course you can sit." Wes said politely pointing to the sofa they had pulled over for him already. "How was the board meeting?"

Their principal and old friend sat down on the sofa and they could see by his eyes their was something on his mind and he didn't say a word but they knew that look from anywhere.

"He's coming back isn't he?"

Mr Alexander glanced to Blaine for a second before moving his gaze to Nick, giving him a small nod. They all turned to the curly haired man who kept his gaze on the window refusing to look at him.

"You have all had a exceptionally hard year but I can't hold it off any longer. The board are asking questions, they want to know why he's been out of education for so long and there's only so much I can do."

"When?" Jeff asked softly as he played with the blanket that was over his and his boyfriend knee, a blanket Kurt had made him on his second year at Dalton.

They could all see the hurt in his eyes and a tear that fell down his cheek and it broke all of their hearts. Even though he loved Kurt with every bone in his body he was still angry he left and didn't keep in touch with him and it made him think back to the day it all happened.

"Kurt?" Jeff said brokenly as he pushed his best friends door open slowly and as soon as he heard his heart wrenching sobs he broke down too.

He was sobbing so loud and gasping for his breath, clutching into every last piece of oxygen he had left. He approached slowly, kneeling down in front of his best friend as he reached a hand out to touch him but he flinched violently, curling himself into a ball as his sobs turned more erratic.

"Baby please just look at me, please lo-

"NO!" Kurt screamed out as he tried to fight himself out of Jeffrey's grip that had just wrapped around him tightly from behind, pinning his arms so he couldn't hurt himself.

"Stop fighting bab-

Kurt was thrashing, trying his hardest to get out his grip but Jeff was stronger and he had no chance of getting out of it anytime soon so he waited, he waited till he would tire himself out.

"I've got you, I've got you baby I'm not going anywhere okay?" Jeff whispeared into his ear as he glanced to the door to find Nick staring with disgust at Kurt.

"Get the fuck out Nick."

Nick let out a laugh of disbelief and slammed the door shut in anger. Jeff didn't even watch him leave, he was to focused on Kurt to even bother to care about his boyfriends opinions on him.

Twenty minutes later Kurt had finally calmed down and his body relaxed but his sobs was worse than ever as he clung to his best friend.

"Please help me."

They all glanced to Jeff who was gripping onto the blanket tightly as the tears ran down his face. They had all seen the flashback because they was all connected and it broke them even more.

"He's due back Friday. I'm so sorry for the delay in telling you but it's been extremely difficu-

"Don't be sorry." Blaine said finally looking up to principal. "It's not your fault Sir."

"How long have you known?" Wes said seriously as he placed his book down to give him his full attention.

Wes and Kurt's relationship was extremely strained from the beginning on his transfer. Their stubborn, competitive personalities clashed and made it extremely hard for the both of them to develop a healthy relationship. They cared for each other but admitting that was a different story. They argued, fought and competed the whole time he was at Dalton and it did indeed keep everyone one of the men entertained.

"I've known a few weeks but I chose not to tell you until after the board meeting. I didn't want the anticipation to eat you all alive. You've waited long enough, you didn't have to know he was coming back until it was necessary."

"Thank you for that. I prefer it better this way." Blaine said with a smile before glancing back down to his hands.

"It's no problem Blaine. It's the least I can do. His administration papers have already been sighed by post and received this morning. He's in his original room."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me right? Not only is he coming back we have to live in the same wing as him? I'm sorry Sir but you're completely insane if you think this is going to make the situation any better."

The look in Nick's eyes was enough to make them worried. He was gunning for Kurt and it was only going to get worse. Jeff gripped onto his hand and shook his head. "Please Nicky, just let him finish. I know you're angry but can you just tone it done for ten minutes to figure out what we are going to do?"

"Look gentlemen, I know it seems like I'm punishing you but you're all going to have to learn to start learning to live together again and I think by doing putting him in your wing his transition back to Dalton will be considerably more smoother." Mr Alexander looked at Blaine and waited for a reaction but one never came so he carried on. "Is there going to be a problem? Is it safe for him to come back to Dalton?"

"Do you think we are going to hurt him Sir?" David said confused and he glanced around the room to the others.

"Don't worry, no confrontation on my end. I have nothing to say to him. I've forgave him as soon as he left but that doesn't mean I can forget what he did to me. If he has to live with us then I'll grin and bare it." Blaine said robotically as he reached for his solo cup and their hearts broke.

"None on my end Sir. I'll welcome him back." David said with a nod and their principal glanced to Wes.

"We never spoke beforehand, any confrontation wouldn't be any different to what we previous had."

"Jeffery?" Mr Alexander said softly as he lifted his gaze from the blanket.

"He's my baby of course there will be no confrontation."

They all had to smile at his sweetness for a moment before turning to Nick who was still staring at the wall as his eyes flashed red.

"Nick?"

"I can't promise you anything. I don't know how I will feel when I see him again, I don't know how I'm going to react. I'm sorry I jus-

"It's okay to tell us how you feel Nicky." Jeff whispeared as he smiled at his boyfriend who was struggling hard with the situation.

"I just don't see how you can expect us to just get on with it like he's never been away. He cheated on Blaine and ruined his life, he broke my boyfriend's heart and torn it to shreds and we have to just get over it to make it easier for his transition back? He's disgusting Sir and a waste of oxygen. I'm ashamed I ever called him my friend and I'm ashamed I ever loved him. I'm sorry I can't do this." Nick said as he stood up quickly and made his way out the room, slamming the door behind him making them all flinch as they heard it come off the hinges slighty.

"He'll come around eventually." Jeff said as he leaned over to Blaine and placed his hand on his thigh.

"Don't forgot how far you've come Blaine. How much you have been through the past year and all of the times you have pushed on even though you thought you couldn't do it. All them mornings you got yourself out of bed even though you didn't want too. All the times you've wanted to give up and turn your humanity off. I'm so proud of you Blaine, I'm so proud of all of you." Mr Alexander said as he stood and leaned over to place a hand on his shoulder. "If it's to hard for you, if there's any problems you come to me and I can try and arrange a different wing for him. Okay?"

"Thank you Sir. I appreciate it."

He squeezed his shoulder and made his way out his room while the others made their way over to Blaine to comfort him. They knew the next week was going to be extremely rough for him so all they could do was try their best to be there for him the best they could.

"This is fucking bullshit right? I mean I get he has to come back but does it have to be this soon? I just… I don't know man. I'm just so sorry." David spoke in a whisper as he placed a comforting hand on Blaine's shoulder.

"It's okay David. I know it's bullshit but we just have to deal with it." Blaine smiled and he placed a hand on his shoulder too. "Go and find your boyfriend jeffery, he's going to need you."

"Are you sure? I don't wan-

"I've got these two to keep me company. You better go before you find limbs all over Dalton."

Jeff let out a laugh as he leaned over to kiss him gently on the cheek. "I love you so much and I'm so proud at how strong you've been this past year. I just hope it doesn't tear us apart."

"I would never hold that against you. I hate to say it but he's going to need someone too and that person has to be you." Blaine gave him a sweet kiss back before pushing him playfully. "Go and find that boyfriend of yours and come and find me later okay?"

"Anything for you." Jeff said with a slow seductive wink and they all burst into laughter as they watched him leave the room in a flash.


"Are you gonna help me lil bro or you just gonna stand there and look at the suitcase like it just started walking?"

"Fuck I'm sorry Finn I zoned out. What did you say?"

"Your scarves man?"

"I haven't worn a scarf for a year Finn. My scarf days are well as truly over. I'll stick to the hoodies and ripped jeans."

"I hate to say it but I miss the scarves."

"Wait really?"

"Yeah dude. You looked fancy as hell in them. They gave you personality." Finn said as he glanced at the nearly folded scarves in his wardrobe.

"I'm fashionable yet comfortable now Finn. Did I really need to be wrestling with twenty three items of clothing of a morning?"

"You've changed so much. You wouldn't even leave the without a scarf on no matter what the weather was outside." Finn shut the wardrobe over and turned to his brother with a smile. "What about your moisturisers?"

"I don't need them. I'll take a bottle of moisturiser but I haven't done my daily moisturising regime in months." Kurt passed him over the expensive bottle for him to place in his suitcase. "That's just not me anymore."

"Is that everything for the suitcase?"

"I think so. Thank you Finn." Kurt started to laugh as he he watched his brother struggle to shut the suitcase for five minutes.

"Do you need a hand big boy?"

"This is no time to get sassy with me dude. This zipper is driving me fucking nuts."

Kurt belted out a laugh as he started to walk over to help his brother and he pushed him aside gently and smirked.

"If you can shut that suitcase I swear to go-

"All done."

"You have got to be kidding me? Dude, I've literally been trying to shut it for five freaking minutes!"

"I told you Finn, I'm an expert. Now, is there anything else you need my expertise or do you want to struggle some more?"

"I hate you."

"You love me really you stupid idiot."

Their was a pause as they both looked at eachother with a huge smile on their faces and Finn broke it finally.

"Yeah dude, I really do."

They started to pack the rest of Kurt's possessions in a duffle bag. It was a back and forth game or Kurt repacking everything because Finn was throwing everything in using the duffle bag as a basket ball hoop. He let it slide though, his brother was trying to give him a laugh to lighten the mood up.

"What are you most nervous about?"

"Seeing his face for the first time."

"You still can't say his name can you?"

Kurt sighed as he looked up to Finn who giving him a sad smile. "Every time I say his name I just burst into tears. It's hard enough I have to think about him you know? The thought of seeing him is killing me Finn."

"Do you think they know you're coming back?"

"I don't kn-

His phone started to ring and he glanced to his phone and his heart rate picked up. "It's Mr Alexander."

"They'll be listening in Kurt."

"I know." Kurt whispeared as he watched the phone ring out.

"Come on dude, answer it. Game face okay?"

Kurt took a deep breath and answered it, placing it to his ear.

"Hello?"


They all froze hearing his voice for the first time in a year and they noticed how different it had changed. It was lower more matured. He had gotten older and it brought them back to reality.

"Hello Kurt. It's Mr Alexander speaking. It's lovely to hear your voice."

They all waited and it felt like a lifetime but in reality it was only a few seconds. They all glanced to Blaine and Jeff who was laying together on a sofa in the corner of the room comforting eachother.

"It's lovely to hear your voice too. How have you been Sir?"

Blaine shot up with Jeff and started to make their way over to the others in disbelief.

"Is it me or he sounds like he doesn't have a care in the fucking world?"

Nick laughed at his best friend and gave him a 'told you so look' with a raise eyebrow. They all glanced to Jeff who was running a hand through his blonde hair in nerves at the sound of his voice.

"He's over it." Jeff whispeared as he reached for Blaine's hand. "He's over it baby. I can hear it in his voice."

"I've been great Kurt thank you. How's your father? It's been a while since I've spoken to him. Busy in the garage?"

"As always. He's been stressed lately, the work load has been hard for him so I've been handling my transfer myself. Did you find out where I'm staying?"

"Fucking bitch." Wes spat out as he threw his book over the other side of the room and they turned to him with wide eyes. "Who the fuck does he think he is? He knows we can hear in on the conversation and yet he doesn't give two fucks. He's a fucking asshole and you know what? I'm glad you fucked him off because he is poison Blaine."

"Jesus Wesley, what's got-

"He's poison. How could he be so fucking heartless after ruining your life?"

Blaine stood and made his way over to his friend and placed a hand on his face, foreign touch for them both. Wes didn't meet his eyes so Blaine made him, forcing his face as they listened in.

"Yes I did. I hope you don't me boarding you in your usual wing. If that's a problem I can totally un-

"That's not a problem Sir. I'm more than capable of living with them. What have they said about it? Are they planning my murder so soon?"

"You know if it was under any other circumstances I would of laughed at that statement."

"It's all in the past now Sir. Anyway, do you need me to fill out any other paperwork before Friday?"

"Damn." David whispeared as he leaned back in the chair. "He really doesn't care. I mean there's no hesitation or pause, he's just blank."

"Are you okay?"

Blaine face softened at Wes's voice. It was very rare he heard this side of him, the soft side and he couldn't help but smile at the man. "He doesn't care Wes. How can I live with that?"

"You're right David he's blank. What a fucking cunt."

They all turned to Nick who was pacing around the common room to try and keep himself from flipping out. His hands was clenched into fists and they knew their would be murder as soon as they laid eyes on eachother.

"No, everything is in order Kurt. How have you all been if you don't mind me asking?"

"Carol is great, she's been offered a promotion at the hospital so she's ecstatic. Finn is good too, he's started working permanently in the garage to help my dad out."

"He didn't mention himself. Don't you find that odd? He avoided the question." Jeff looked around at everyone who had noticed it too and they hoped Mr Alexander would push do they could find something out about his year.

"And yourself Kurt?"

"Better than ever. I had a good year out."

"Oh I'm mad." Nick whispeared as he sat down with his boyfriend and started to squeeze his thigh in anger. "I'm so fucking mad babe."

"I know sweetie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help."

"You are helping, I'm sorry for being a prick. You know that right?"

"Of course I do. Come here." Jeff said sweetly as he opened his arms for his boyfriend to hold him. "I love you."

"I love you more." Nick said with a wide smile for the first time since they found out Kurt was coming back to Dalton.

"I'm glad you're doing okay Kurt I've been very worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about Sir. I'm different now. What room am I staying in?"

"Your old room Kurt. I hope that's not a problem."

"How's Anderson dealing with that?"

"Did he just call you Anderson? Or did I just hear that wrong?"

"No, you didn't hear it wrong." Blaine whispeared as his eyes started to water and he started to sit bringing Wes down with him. "I use to love when he called me that but hearing him say it so casually feels like a stake has been pushed though my heart and my body has been set on fire."

"He's doing it for a reason. I told you Blaine, he's poison." Wes whispeared back as his eyes flashed red with rage.

"Blaine is a gentleman as you know. If he has to share rooms with you there will be no problems on his end."

"Good. Is that everything?"

"Kurt I'm going to ask you one last time. Is everything okay with you?"

"Look Sir, at the end of the day they hate me and I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm over it to be honest with you and I just want to get on with the rest of the year so I can leave Ohio."

"I understand that I'm sorry. You just seem so put together. I didn't expect that Kurt. Are you excited to see your best friend?"

Now their was a pause and they all looked up to their blonde to see his reaction and it was what they expected. He was silently crying, no noise but the tears flowed as his boyfriend comforted him this time.

"Kurt?"

"How is he?"

"He misses you very much."

"Is that everything Sir? I'm just packing. I was wondering if their was a possibility I could come Thursday instead of Friday. Finn has to take the car for work and he's dropping me off."

"Of course it is. Your room is exactly how you left it. No ones been in there for a year."

"Least it'll give me something to do for first day. I left that room a state I'm telling you. You would think the wall cheated on me the way I made a hole in it."

"He's dead."

"Nick-

"I mean it. He's so fucking dead. How dare be make a joke out of it?"

"Kurt that's pretty insensitive don't you think?"

"You think? I thought it was pretty funny but my bad. I'll see you Thursday Sir."

"I'll see you Thursday Kurt. Drive safe."

"He made a joke about him fucking someone else." Blaine said as he started to laugh as the shock ran through his body. "You know what I'm gonna take go and get a shower and go to my room. I'll see you guys later."

He left in a flash but Nick was right behind him and the others sat in a state of shock at his behaviour on the phone. He was so different now, so laid back without a care in the world and they didn't know how he could be that way after what had happened a year ago.

"I don't recognise him and that scares me." Jeff looked down to his blanket again and started to trail his fingers against the wool. "I want my best friend back. My kind, loving best friend who would do anything for us. Who would go to the end of the earth to make sure we was okay. I can't believe this even happened. It's like I'm in this weird dream and I'm waiting to wake up."

"Why do you think he did it jeffery?" Wes questioned as he walked over to grab his book from the other side of the room and he groaned when a few pages had fell out. "I know I can be asshole but I know love when I see it and Kurt loved him more than anything in this world so why would he cheat? Why would he cheat with someone who Blaine's been rivalling with for years?"

"Boredom?" David asked and Jeff shook his head.

"They always went on dates and did everything together and their sex life was more than satisfying. There is no way he was bored." Jeff said seriously as he moved to sit with the two of them.

"Pressured?" Wes added as he passed them both a solo cup.

"By that slimy fuck? No fucking way. He picked fights with vampires on the daily." Jeff said pointing to Wes who was smirking. "Not a chance on this earth he would be pressured."

"Forced?" David said as his face twisted in disgust and they all sat in silence thinking over the question.

"It would explain why he was so distressed but I don't believe for one minute that Hummel wouldn't tell us if it happened."

"You're right Wes. He would tell us. Why wouldn't he? He could of stayed at Dalton. We could of protected him. I just don't understand." David said with a frown and they all debated it as silence fell for twenty minutes before they heard Nick standing at the doorway.

"Blaine's sleeping. He cried for for bit but he seems settled. I'm going to go stay with him."

"Thanks sweetie, I love you."

Nick started to walk over to them and as soon as he got by his boyfriend he sat down.

"I'm sorry Nick for bringing up th-

"It's alright man. I understand why you said it you know? He was pretty distressed, exactly how I was but have we even thought of the possibility that he did it just because he wanted too?"

"It crossed my mind." Jeff lifted his hand and placed it onto his thigh. "It's the only other reason why he would do it. He doesn't seem like that person to just cheat and especially on someone like Blaine. He's an angel."

"It crossed my mind too. The distress could have been because he got caught and realised he had lost everything. How do we even know it was just the once?"

"We don't Wes. That's the scary thing about it." David said with a serious tone in his voice as he lifted his solo cup to his mouth and took a big sip.


Kurt was sobbing uncontrollably as soon as he got off the phone to Mr Alexander. He didn't realise how much just speaking to his principal would affect him. Finn was right by his side comforting him like he always did, stroking his hair gently as he sang into his ear. He felt disgusted in what he said about Blaine, he couldn't believe it even came from his mouth. He knew they was listening in to his conversation and he couldn't imagine what kind of a state he would be in knowing he joked about what he did.

"It's okay man, I've got you."

"I'm such a horrible person." Kurt choked out as his hand fisted his t shirt in anger. "I hate myself."

"No you're not little bro. You did what you had to do. Don't hate yourself for something you couldn't control. This isn't your fault."

"How could I be so cruel? He's been through enough Finn but I can't tell them. This whole year would be waste. I just need to make it through to the end of the year."

"And then what's the plan dude?"

"We get out of Ohio and start fresh. No matter how much I'm hurting I think this would be good for us Finn. What do you think?"

"I think that's a cool idea man. I'm game for that. Where would you like to go?"

"Paris." Kurt whispeared as he moved his head to look at his brother. "We move to Paris. We have money now Finn as much as I hate to admit it. How does that sound?"

"What are those things called? The curly things? They kinda look like a boomerang?"

"Croissants?" Kurt said as he burst into laughter at his brothers stupidity and his dopey grin only made him laugh harder.

"Oh yeah dude! Croissants!" Finn said excitedly and then he frowned. "Don't they eat frogs? I want no part of that ma-

Kurt burst into laughter again with his neck buried into his brothers shoulder. "Yes they eat frogs. It's a delicacy. I've always wanted to try it."

"You wanna eat frogs? Did Burt drop you on your head as a child?"

"I don't know, it's not I can ask him."

"Oh shit man I'm so sorry I didn't me-

"No it's okay Finn. I'm just trying to make light of the situation. I miss him so much you know? I just wanna keep his memory alive."

It was one thing to loose your dad but to find him dead was a whole different level entirely. Kurt heard the thud first from upstairs and he thought his dad had dropped something heavy until he found him laying on the floor lifeless. Finn remembered the screams and the memory of him doing CPR even when the paramedics pronounced him dead but he kept going, screaming out for his dad to come back. Two months after Dalton Burt died and it was like their whole world had crash down. The paramedics said he died instantly and they had to sedate Kurt just to move him from his dad while they took him away. It was a day the three them would never forget ever.

"I miss him too dude, he was like the father I never had. It sucks so much. Least we have mom right?"

"She's an angel. I was so sure she would leave with you."

"She loves you like she loves me bro. She wasn't going anywhere without you."

"Oh I love that fucking woman." Kurt whispeared as he closed his eyes with a smile.