Chapter Four
"Sebastian."
Their was uproar in a matter on seconds and Kurt had no time to brace himself. They was all shouting at him minus Blaine who was just sitting in silence just staring at his ex boyfriend in disgust. Even Jeff was seething that he would even attempt to go near him after everything he had did to them.
"Are you fucking him?"
"Are you fucking deranged? Why would you even do that go near him after what he has put us through!"
"You dirty fucking whore!"
"You don't think fucking him behind Blaine's back was good enough so you start seeing him and rubbing his fucking face in it?"
Kurt didn't say a word as he continued to look at Blaine in a daze. He couldn't help it. His beauty was knocking him sides ways and he was so close to breaking. It was bad enough he broke his heart once and now he was doing it all over again. He could see the hurt in his eyes and the way he tried to hold back the tears but they fell anyway. He cancelled out the screaming to concentrate on his facial features, his beautiful olive skin and his gorgeous honey eyes. He lifted his eyesight to his hair and all he wanted to do was to run his fingers through it. He started to feel dizzy and it wasn't because of the adrenaline, it was because he took his breathe away.
"Are you fucking lis-
Wes grabbed his face with his left hand and turned him around to face him. "Are you fucking listening?"
"I'm not fucking deaf Wesley. Jesus what's up with you?" Kurt said as he slapped his hand away from his face before turning his head back around. "Fuck. I know you're all pissed but can you stop throwing me around like a rag doll? I'm delicate."
They hated the fact that he was right. He was delicate and one wrong action could kill him. Wes was pretty forceful and he felt guilty instantly for even laying a hand on him and they could all see it in his eyes. Kurt was pushing him to lengths he had never reached before and it was ruining him but there was no way he was going to apologise anytime soon.
"Can everyone just shut up for five minutes?"
They all glanced to Blaine and sat down because they knew better than to argue with him at his current state. He turned his head back to Kurt.
"I'm going ask your three questions and then I'm going to walk out. Don't bullshit me, I'm really not in the mood for games."
"Ask away." Kurt said as he picked up his water again and took a sip.
"Are you fucking him?"
"Yes."
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes."
"Great." Blaine said with a laugh as he stood and made his way out the room without another word said to him.
"Goodbye porcelain." Nick said bluntly before leaving to follow his best friend.
"I just need to process it. I can't believe you Kurt." David added as he stood up too leave too.
"I'm so disappointed in your baby. Just give me some time. I'll come find you later okay?"
Jeff left too as the tears fell from his eyes and then it was Wes's turn. He walked over and leaned his body over until they was inches apart. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, he just looked at the man.
"Get the fuck out of my room."
Kurt didn't waste time and he stood and walked out the room. His heart was pounding from the adrenaline that was rushing through his body. He got himself to his room and closed the door over, sliding down it in exhaustion. His eyes instantly started to tear and without a second he was sobbing silently, something he had mastered this year.
After ten minutes he wiped his tears away and stood to clean his room. He had already cleaned up the big pieces of glass off the floor so he was going to start sorting out the photos that was scattered across the carpet. His hand reached out for a certain photo that was ripped to pieces. It was their very first date together at this fancy restaurant Blaine had hired for the night. It was one of his favourites and he closed his eyes as he laid himself on the floor, already giving up.
"Blaine?"
"Sebastian is dead Nicky. I'm telling you, he's fucking dead the piece of shit."
"Blaine?"
"There's no fucking way this is happening. I can't do it Nicky, I can't do it. I need to go or so-
Nick wrapped his arms around the hyperventilating vampire to try and sooth his panic. "Come on baby, let's lay you down so we can talk okay? You're not going anywhere do you understand?"
"I can't do it Nicky." Blaine cried out as his best friend wiped his eyes. "I thought I could do it but I just can't I'm sorry. I'm not as strong as you."
"Don't you dare say that. I've got you and I promise that you'll get through this." Nick said softly as he guided him to the bed but their was a knock on the bathroom door.
"Get the fuck away from the door porcelain. He wants fuck all to do with you."
"Just open the door."
"Fuck no." Nick said in disbelief as he sat Blaine down on the bed and walked over to the bathroom door and swung it open. "Haven't you done enough? Can't you just let us be?"
"I'm sorry."
Blaine looked up from his hands and for a second he seen the old Kurt. He best friend, partner and the love of his life. He heard the sincerity and it started to confuse him. Did he feel? Did he mean it? Was he really sorry for hurting him or was this just a thing he was doing to make his life easier at Dalton.
"That's not good enough." Nick said bluntly as he went to shut the door but Kurt stopped him with his hand.
"Just let m-
"Fuck just open the door will you?"
"It's alright Nick. It doesn't change anything." Blaine said tiredly and Nick sighed as he opened the door.
"You have a few minutes, I mean it porcelain. You say one wrong thing I'll throw you out so qui-
"Yeah yeah I get the point." Kurt pushed past him without second thought and pulled a chair out of his desk and he sat down facing the curly haired man.
Nick left but he stayed close. He wanted to hear every word this bastard had to say to his best fiend. The others all slowly crept out of their rooms too to join Nick in the corridor to listen in.
"What do you want Kurt? Can't you just let me get on with my life? It's bad enough I have to see you never mind talking to you."
"I'm sorry for hurting you."
"Now all of a sudden you've got a heart?"
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm not going to say it again. I'll leave you be." Kurt said as he started to stand up and place the chair back into the desk but he felt a soft hand on his wrist and he froze.
"Just tell me the truth Kurt. I need to know why you did it."
Kurt tried to ignore his touch but he couldn't help but glance to his hand that was gently gripping his wrist to stop him from walking out.
"I deserve to know why. I gave you three amazing years, I treasure you, loved you unconditionally and I would of died for you Kurt. Please tell me it was a mistake, please tell me it was a one off spare of the moment thing. Just tell me anything just to put my mind as rest."
"But it won't put your mind at rest. If I told you it was a mistake or if I told you I did it because I wanted him it's not going to change how you feel is it? And it's not going to change how I feel."
"And how do you feel Kurt?" Blaine asked as he lifted his hand slowly towards his face, pressing his thumb softly against the corner of his mouth. "Do you feel anything when I touch you like this?"
"You're just torturing yourself. You know that right?" Kurt replied back with a straight face and Blaine kept pushing him.
"How about if I kissed you?"
"You're doing yourself no favours. Move on Anderson because I have."
Kurt removed his hand from his face and kept his gaze for a moment as they looked at eachother. It was intense, it was like they was talking through their minds.
"How about if I made love to you?"
"Stop it." Kurt warned as he started to move but Blaine kept his grip and pulled him into his body.
"What was it? Was the sex boring for you? Did you need a little more excitement? Or was it the rush of cheating that made the adrenaline pumped through your fucking body that got you going?" Blaine said harshly as he pushed him against the wall making Kurt gasp slighty as his back hit the hard surface. "Was he rough with you? Is that what you like Kurt? To be manhandled by someone who doesn't give a fuck about you or your feelings? Was I to soft? Was I to caring for you? Didn't I mak-
"Fucking stop Anderson you're hurting me." Kurt said trying to remove his hands from his hold but he didn't let go but it loosened slighty which made his heart stop because even after everything, he still didn't want to hurt him.
"Didn't I make you feel good enough? Didn't I compliment you enough? Was it because of that petty argument we had a few days before over not being able to see you my birthday weekend? Is that why you cheated? Because you was angry that for the first time ever I spoke back to you?"
"You're only fucking hurting yourself. You doing this is not affecting me in the slightest. It'll only cause yourself pain. I'm with Sebastian now and I'm happy and I want you to be too." Kurt tried to help the situation the nicest way possible without being to nice and seem like he was bothered but it only made him worse.
"Did you love moaning down his ear like a whore when you rode him? Did you love having your hair pulled so hard it blinded you? Or did you just love the fact that you finally got caught. Was it the first time? Or was it every time I wasn't around? How many times a week was it? Did he have a bigger fucking cock than me? Did he know how to use it better? Come on Kurt fucking tell me!"
"I fucked him because I wanted to fuck him. It was a spare of the moment thing and it only happened once. There's no other reason. It didn't mean I didn't love you any less, it didn't mean I didn't respect you. He was there and you wasn't Blaine and it just happened." Kurt said as he looked into them honey eyes like he was looking at them for the first time. "After it happened, he got in touch. It was just sex at first to get over you but after a few weeks, it just kinda happened again. He was sweet and kind, he comforted in ways that reminded me of you and eventually I fell in love with him. I can't help who I fall in love with or fall out of love with Blaine. I can't control my feelings."
"You're not lying are you?" Blaine said seriously as his grip finally loosened at let go. "You really want him."
"I love him."
"I hate you." Blaine whispered as he finally let out a sob out of his mouth. "I hate you for loving him, I hate you for being so heartless and I hate you for ruining my family. Don't ever speak to me again. I've got my answers. I would appreciate if you left my room also and lock it. I don't want to have anymore time with you than I need too but thank you for apologising, I know how fucking hard that must have been for you."
"I'm going out."
Kurt walked into the bathroom and shut the door over and locking it at his request. He could have kicked himself for what he said. That wasn't keeping a distance, that was an apology and he regretted it instantly.
~That's not how the plan is meant to go. Well done Kurt you stupid idiot ~
He sighed to himself and started to make his way into his bedroom so he could get ready. It hadn't even been two hours and he was already leaving the grounds without having his induction. He wasn't going to survive this or their hate it was to much. He thought he could handle it but he was very wrong. It was too soon to quick. He needed out for a few hours to clear his head. He heard a knock and recognised it instantly to be his best friend.
"Come in blondie!"
"Are you okay baby?"
"Of course I'm okay. Are you still disappointed?" Kurt said with a smirk as he kept his gaze on him while he took his clothes out his suitcase.
"What do you expect us to be like? It's a shock." Jeff walked over and started to help him with his clothes. "Is he really want you want? Because I love you Kurt and if I have to get on with the fact that you're with him I will for you."
"You hate him so I don't expect you too." Kurt replied back as he lifted the suitcase onto the flood after he had taken all his things out.
"My love for you outtakes my hate for him. I'll never be able to forgive him, I'll never be able to forgot what he had did to Blaine but I can live with it if this is what you really want."
It wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be with Blaine, he wanted to have his life back with his beautiful family. He missed his dad, he missed his dad so much. His dad would know what to do and he wished he would of told him before he was gone.
"It's what I want blondie."
"Then okay." Jeff said with a smile as he placed a hand on his face to comfort him. "I'll live with it for you."
"Banana thingy soon?"
"Banana thingy soon." Jeff repeated softly as he leaned in to kiss his forehead.
The others was sat in Blaine's room as they listened in on them both talking about kurt's relationship with Sebastian and it made their skin crawl.
"How do you think it took for them to get together? That slimy fuck doesn't even do relationships." Nick said in anger as he sat down next to his best friend. "He's probably just keeping it up until he gets here and then he'll fuck Kurt off after he's rubbed your face in it."
"I thought that too. You know he's one for playing games. He's going to love seeing me so ruined seeing them together."
"What are you going to do Anderson? Honestly? Because I'm guessing he's back Monday to start with that bitch. They practically have every lesson together apart from English."
"I don't know Wes. I guess I'm just going to have to live with it. What else can I do?"
"We could kill that slimy fuck." David suggested pointing to his heart. "He wouldn't have a chance."
"As lovely as that sounds my friend, we are not murders."
"Yes we are. It's in our blood man. Who honestly isn't going to enjoy killing that bastard?"
"You've changed your tune." Wes remarked.
"I can handle Kurt. He was a very important part of my life but Sebastian? He can go to hell. I would have great pleasure wiping his existence from the earth."
"I'm with David. I would do fucking anything to see him in the ground. He deserves to die."
"Then so doesn't Hummel?" Wes answered back with a smirk. "They both did it. It wasn't just Smythe. That bitch has every right to die just as much as him."
"You don't mean that Wes." Blaine said with watery laugh as he looked up to him. "You're just hurt as much as all of us even thought you hate to admit it."
Wes didn't say responded right away, he just chose to look down back to his book for a few seconds. "He ruined your life Blaine."
"He ruined yours too. You're just so much better at hiding it than me."
"I'm not talking about this. We all made an agreement." Wes said glancing up to Blaine and the others. "Don't break your promise, you know how much I hate that."
"No ones breaking it I promise. I just don't know you do it. How you can just act normal like he didn't break you too."
"Are we done?" Wes said shutting his book over and standing up. "I have to give him his induction."
"You going to be okay?"
"Sure. It'll be quick anyway, he's already attended before." Wes said rolling his eyes and making his way to the door and shouting out to him. "Bitch?"
"What do you want Wesley?"
"Just open the door and stop being difficult."
He heard kurt sigh before unlocking the bathroom door and opening it. Their was a moment of silence as they just looked at eachother before kurt stepped out of his way for jeffery to made his way through to Blaine's room.
"Are you coming in or what?"
Wes stepped in and he heard the door being shut over from behind as he looked over his room. It was ruined and he guessed it was worse a few hours ago when he first got to Dalton.
"What do you want Wesley?"
"I've been assigned to do your induction. The quicker we do it the quicker I can be out of your proximity."
"Why the fuck do I need the induction? I've been here before?"
"Protocol." Wes said simply as he kept looking around the room and he could smell the blood everywhere in his nostrils. "You didn't do a very good job."
"At fucking what?"
"Killing yourself. What way did you cut? Length ways or width ways?"
"Neither. I tried hanging myself. Unlucky for me the rope wasn't strong enough and snapped." Kurt said emotionless as he started to pick up his phone from the floor. "Are you ready to leave or are you just going to mock me for ten more mi-
"You tried to hang yourself huh?"
"No, it was a joke Wesley. Can we get this shit ov-
"You know when you hang yourself? You get tiny little abrasions, bruising that never leaves but is naked to the human eye, but not a vampires." Wes said as he stepped forward and pointing to his neck. " How long was you swinging in the air before it snapped?"
Kurt laughed as he rolled his eyes. "It was a fucking joke. Why are so serious all the time? Lighten up."
"Because I can see them across your neck like tiny purple strings. I'm surprised Nicky didn't notice but I guess he was to busy strangulating you. How long was you swinging and loosing the ability to breath for before it snapped?"
"I guess you'll never know." Kurt whispered with a smirk plastered on his face as he opened the door for him. "Ladies first asshole."
"Next time. Use cord. It's more pliable and it's as strong as nails. It'll take your weight perfectly." Wes said with a uneasy smirk before pushing past him but Kurt didn't move. "Come on Hummel. I haven't got all day I've got shit to do too."
"Go fuck yourself." Kurt said bluntly before he slammed the door in his face and locking it.
"Come on Hummel it was a joke! Did your sense of humour disappear along with your faithfulness?"
There was no answer. He banged his fist on the door as the guilt seeped in and he felt nauseous at what he had just said to him. He joked about his suicide attempt, he laughed at it. Was that Kurt's way of opening up to him? Did he just make everything ten times worse?
"Come on. Mr Alexander will be pissed if I don't do your induction. That was out of line, I didn't mean to ma-
The door swung open forcefully and the very first thing Wes seen was absolute anger in his face. He knew he had fucked up but his anger had taken over and it just fell from his mouth.
"Seven seconds." Kurt said slowly as he let out a laugh. "I know that because I counted in my head. Out of all people Wesley, I didn't think it would be you to joke about that after the way you found me three years ago."
"Kurt I'm so-
"Fuck you Wes."
They stood their staring at eachother in what felt like a lifetime but it was only a few minutes. He watched the way Kurt's index finger was tapping against his thigh and the more they stared at eachother the more quicker the tapping would be. There was something about Kurt he just couldn't figure out. He glanced to his lips for a second and watched him lick them.
"You're nervous." Wes commented gesturing to his lips. "You only do that when you're nervous Hummel. Why?"
"I'm not nervous. Let's just get this induction over with alright? I've got so much to do today and I can't be doing with petty arguments with you already." Kurt shut his door over but he didn't lock it. "I know you don't fucking like me Wesley and to be quite honest with you, I don't like you either so can you be quick? I know everything already."
"We have new rules regarding the regulations…
"He wouldn't do that. Right? He wouldn't hurt himself." Blaine said shaking his head in disbelief as he wiped his tears away. "Right blondie?"
"No he wouldn't do that." Jeff said with a laugh as he sat down on his knee. "He's not stupid."
"I don't think he's lying. He's a lot of things but I know him well enough to know he wouldn't joke about that." Nick said as he stared at the photo on all of them from two years ago at the annual Christmas party. "What did he mean the way Wes found him? We need to ask him about that when he gets back."
"I remember one night Wes didn't come back to his room around that time. He said he had to get his text book back from him and he never came back till the morning."
"He stayed the night with him David?" Blaine looked around to him so he could see his face.
"I don't know Blaine. I couldn't hear anything so I'm guessing sage was burning. He told me he ended up going out for a few hours to clear his head but his car never moved all night."
~ it's very rude to talk about someone if they're not present ~
"Where did you go man?"
~ Give me ten minutes. I'll come and see you. ~
"How does he seem?"
~ Nervous. There's something I just can't figure out with him. I feel like there's something he's not telling us and that makes me very uncomfortable ~
"What do you mean Wes?" Nick asked as he glanced away from the photo with a smile at the memory.
~ it's like he's got something on the tip of his tongue. I noticed it since he walked in. He wants to say something but he's refusing to let it slip. I know we said about keeping our distance and getting on with him being back but I won't be able to settle until I know what happened in that ye-
"What's the matter Hummel? I can't finish if you keep sto-
"Kurtis?"
"I'm fine Wesley, I just have a headache. Carry on."
"That's some headache. You practically nearly took my arm off steadying yourself."
"Have you caught the gay yet?"
"Fuck off Hummel."
"Is Mr Alexander meeting me today?"
"He's meeting you after your induction. He had another meeting at three. That's if we finish it by any point today."
"Great."
"He sounds pissed. My man is already taking it out of him." David said as he rolled his eyes at his best friend's behaviour towards Kurt. "This year is going to be nuts. It's a good job we've got a few days before lessons."
"That's going to kill me seeing them together. I fucking hate that slimy, meerkat looking asshole. He's so fucking dead."
They knew he meant it. He was going to rip him to shreds if he got one wrong look in his direction. He was out for blood, he wanted to watch him burn and suffer exactly how he did this past year.
"Ditto man." Nick replied back as tore open a blood bag with his teeth and handing it to him. "He's gonna wish he was never been born."
"And what's that going to do? You heard baby, as much as I hate to admit it and I don't want to upset you Blaine but he's happy. Genuinely happy." Jeff knew if there was foul play he would tell him. "If we did that we would only be hurting baby, not meerkat."
"Why are you always right?"
"I don't know. I love you both Blaine and I just don't want to see you both hurting anymore than is needed. Wessy thinks there's something else and I'm with him. I think we make peace and find out what's happened the last year."
"I can't make peace babe."
"We need to be civil and learn to live with him again. You know he doesn't break until he's pushed. He won't be able to hide it much longer if we try and get closer to him." Jeff said with a sad smile looking at his boyfriend. "But I don't expect you too Blaine. I think he would find it weird if all of a sudden you're talking to him. Maybe you and Nicky can keep your distance while us three try and work out what it is."
"That's a good idea man. I think that'll work. I know Wes will be on board. Is that okay with you both?" David asked towards the two vampires sitting on the bed. "Totally your decision."
"As long as I don't have to be involved then I don't see the harm in it. Blaine?" Nick grabbed hold of his hand as his thumb moved in circles over his perfect skin.
"Yeah. I'm okay with it. It's kinda irritating I don't know why he's so closed off. He normally tells me everything so not knowing is a weird feeling for me."
"We are going to find out. I promise." Jeff said sweetly before kissing the corner of his mouth. "I'm not going to stop until I figure out the real reason he left us."
"Do you think there is another reason?" Blaine whispered back and Jeff nodded.
"My baby is a lot of things but he's not a cheat. He couldn't even kiss me on the lips because he was worried you and Nicky would take It the wrong way. Trust me gorgeous, There's something else."
"So what did you do on your year out?"
"Small talk doesn't suit you. Is that everything now? Or do I need to listen about how to turn the safety feature on the blender incase I take a finger or two off for the third time?"
Wes rolled his eyes as they carried on walking back to the dorm wing. He wanted to push more than ever now. He was avoiding and they all noticed it.
"No juicy gossip from when you got home? Nothing to make me happy?"
"Nope. I've had a pretty good year."
"That's all I get from you?"
"That's all you get for me."
Wes stopped, pulling him back by his wrist. It was a odd feeling touching him after so long of no contact between eachother. He watched as he body relaxed and he couldn't help but smile.
"You're tense. Why are you tense Hummel?"
"Wouldn't you be after everything I've did?" Kurt whispered as his gaze lowered to his hand that was still placed on his wrist. "Do you know how hard this is for me to come back here after an year out? This is my punishment Wesley and I'm okay with that."
"Are you hurting?"
"No I'm not hurting it's just hard." Kurt replied back quickly as he glanced away from his eyes.
"Did you miss me?"
Kurt let out a laugh but he heard it get stuck in his throat like he was swallowing down his emotions that was threatening to show. Wes tilted his head, trying reading him better as he watched the corner of his eyes start to water.
"Did you miss me Kurtis?"
"I would appreciate if you let go Wesley."
"You didn't answer my question. Did you miss me?" Wes demanded as he pushed him against the wall and placing his knee between his thighs to stop him from moving. "How much did you miss me?"
"What is up with you?" Kurt asked as confusion ran through his face as he tried to work him out. "You could barely look at me before I left Dalton and now you-
"I missed you." Wes said softly as his hand moved towards his face to feel his soft skin. "I missed you so much."
"You did?"
"I did."
Wes's thumb moved over his cheek in circles, the feeling made them both relax and soon enough he felt soft fingers move through his hair and he smiled at him and he smiled back. It was genuine, full of life and a smile that he really did miss.
"Did you miss me?"
"I missed you."
"How bad was you hurting?"
"I wanted to die."
The others head snapped up in shock knowing he was breaking through and they all knew why. It was the bond, something he had kept a secret the whole time Kurt was at Dalton. At the words rang through their heads from the book they had read the first week Kurt had ever stayed at the school.
Bonding with another individual is exceptionally pleasurable. It makes the two parties feel connected and grounded and it is a sacred relationship between two Vampires. You cannot bond with your lover as stabilised love is already apparent. Your lover is bound by law to abide the bonding process, as it is indefinitely set in stone. You cannot pick your bonding partner, your vampirism picks them. The bonding between two Vampires is always physical but that does not necessarily mean it has to be sexualised. It will come naturally if so.
Your lover will get great pleasure from seeing his chosen one happy with his bonded partner. It will give a sense of pride knowing they are being taken care of by another. It bring a new connection to all three or four parties. Your lover will never feel jealous or territorial towards your bonding partner especially when a connection is already in place between your lover and a bonding partner.
If your chosen bonding partner his human, they will not feel the bonding process until a touch is initiated. They will feel protected, safe and secure. Only when the transition is completed will they naturally feel the connection without just a touch.
The touch alone can make the human feel healed, comforted and loved.
The others knew about the bond since the first weekend but they all chose to keep it secret. It was extremely hard for Wesley not to make a connection with him everyday and because of that it affected him the most when Kurt left. The bond was severed, he struggled everyday. The bond was magically formed and everyday he wasn't around Kurt the more withdrawn he became and distant. He wanted Kurt back more than any of them, even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Do you want to talk? We can go back to my room. I'll even get us some of that fancy wine you love so much."
"What is that?" Kurt whispered as his hand ran down his arm for contact. "Why does it do that every time I touch you?"
"Magic hands."
They both laughed softly, two words that had become a big part of their vocabulary. It was always Wesley's excuse for when he needed to be touched for comfort. It was everyone's excuse for when he needed to be comforted in ways no one else could give him without telling him about the bond.
"I've missed you Wes."
"Why did you do it? Why did you hurt us? Why did you hurt me?"
They all braced themselves and waited to his answer. They heard his heartbeat quicken and his gaspy breaths at his touch and they heard him stutter. He stopped and started, he kept shutting his mouth over and over again as the words threatened to fall from his lips.
"It's okay, you can tell me." Wes said sweetly as he tried to sooth his struggle. "I've got you, I promise I'll fix it. I just need you to tell me so I can help. Can you do that? For me?"
"You feel so good."
"Focus on me." Wes whispered bringing his head towards him. "You can tell me anything. Is he hurting you?"
"Who?"
"Sebastian?"
Kurt shook his head as he struggled to concentrate as the touch was sending his brain into overdrive. Wesley was exactly the same but he knew as soon as he removed his hands the trust would disappear just like the connection would.
"I know it feels good, I know it's the only thing you can concentrate on but I need you to focus on me and my voice okay?"
Kurt nodded as finally met eye contact with his enemy of four years and he couldn't help but smile and that's when his thoughts relaxed too and they could finally hear him. Vervain was already flowing through his veins but bonding partners was different. They could hear eachother as long as they allowed it and for a few minutes, he allowed it and let the others hear it too.
~ You're so beautiful. I didn't realise how beautiful you are ~
Wes couldn't help but smile and it only got wider. He was letting him in for the first time ever and it was beautiful. Wes had four years to process the bond, he knew he would never tell Kurt about it which was a shame but he didn't want him to know that all the time he was at Dalton he could have been helping him instead of making his life a hell to try and hide it.
~ Why do I feel this way about you? Why have I always felt this way about you? ~
"Kurt?"
~ I'm so sorry ~
"Kurt?"
~ I wish I could take it away~
"Please look at me." Wes spoke softly as he cupped his face to bring it back to his view. "Concentrate Kurt. I've got you."
~ I'm a horrible person ~
~ I hate myself ~
~ Why won't the pain stop? ~
~ Why can't I just be happy? ~
~ Why do I always ruin it? ~
~ I did it for him, I'll always protect him ~
"Protect who? Who are you protecting? Blaine?" Wes said quickly interrupting his thoughts as he found a breakthrough.
"You heard me." Kurt said in confusion as he pulled his hand away and started to walk back. "How did you hear me? I've been drinking vervain for a year."
"Kurt please come ba-
"This was all a joke to you wasn't it? You didn't miss me, this is just your way or trying to get into my head isn't it? You're trying to make me feel so I will open up to you?" Kurt questioned with a laugh as he started to back away more as Wes moved closer to him.
"No I meant it Kurt I pro-
"I fucked Sebastian because I wanted too. I wanted to feel his hands all over my body, I wanted to cheat and the only reason I acted the way I did afterwards was because I had lost my home. Sebastian made me feel alive, he makes me feel alive. There's no other reason, no other excuse Montgomery. I wanted him just as much as me and I don't regret it. I loved every fucking minute of it."
"You don't fucking mean that. I can see it in your eyes. You're hiding something Kurt and I'm not going to stop until I find out why you would do this to him. Why you would do this to us."
"Well you'll be waiting a long time Montgomery. Oh and thanks for the induction. I learnt a lot today." Kurt said with a smirk as he turned around and started to make his way back to his room.
Wes sighed as he placed his palm against his forehead. He didn't even know how long he had been standing there until he felt his best friend place a hand on his shoulder.
"I nearly had it. I'm so fucking stupid."
"No, you did amazing man. Just let him cool down and we'll try again okay?"
"He's not going to let me near him after that David. I think I just ruined it."
"How did he feel Wes?"
"I forgot what it was like to feel him, to be around him. I touched him and for the time I was with him I forgot about what had happened. I forgave him, I forgave him for leaving and that shocked me."
They started to walk back to Blaine's room together, talking quietly so the blue haired man wouldn't hear them. A few seconds later they was already back in the room sitting down with the others.
"Are you okay Wes?"
"Are you okay Blaine?"
They both laughed at the situation. It should be awkward but it wasn't for either of them anymore. Kurt had been a constant connection between them both and because of it their connection got stronger and they became closer.
"Did you feel that? When you touched him?"
"I touched him and I forgave him too. How the fuck can that happen after everything he's put us through?" Blaine questioned as he moved to sit closer to him as they talked. "All I wanted to do was to kiss him. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I was so grateful when he walked away."
"Me too. I kinda hoped he would." Wes said quietly in embarrassment but he pushed it aside and changed the subject. "I need to know what he meant by that. I did it for him, I did it to protect him. Who's he protecting?"
"You don't think Sebastian has something on one of us do you?"
They all turned to Jeff who had been pretty quiet since he heard his thoughts. It would make the perfect explanation on why he would do this to them. He was all about protecting people and especially people he loved and cared for. Kurt would go to great lengths and even sleeping with someone else would make perfect sense to keep him quite.
"He's not a push over honey. He wouldn't do that to just keep someone quite."
"How do we know for certain he wouldn't sleep with Sebastian to keep him quite. All he's ever done is protect us. Was this his way of protecting one of us? Was this a way to keep one of our secrets a secret?"
"You're overthinking it. He did it because he want-
"No. You just don't like the fact that there could be another reason why Kurt would hurt us. You don't want it to be true do you? Because that'll mean all that hurt you've caused him will be for nothing and he'll never be able to forgive you. Isn't it?" Jeff said as he looked over to his boyfriend who was struggling to come to terms with the idea. "What if baby is doing this for us? What if he's doing this to keep us safe and he's spend a year in absolute agony knowing that we would never forgive him?"
"Please don't say that Jeff." Nick sighed as he leaned back into the sofa. "It's bad enough already. I wouldn't be able to forgive himself if it was true."
"And he knows that. Do you really think baby would have the balls to come back here after what went down unless he had too? What if that was part of the deal? Him coming back to rub it in Blaine's face for the last time. There's so many unanswered questions Nicky. Do you really think in your heart that your porcelain would ever lay a finger on another man and then be so fucking stupid to get caught too?"
"It never sat well with me. He is so intelligent. It baffled me how easy we found them together. The door wasn't even locked Blaine. Who doesn't lock the door?" Wes said as he looked up to his face. "He didn't lock the door and there was no sage burning. He wanted to be found."
"He didn't burn sage." Nick whispered in confusion only just realising it now.
"No, he didn't even hide it." Blaine said in realisation as he sat up quickly. "He didn't hide it. He didn't even fucking try too. He even texted me asking me what time I would be home and I when I told him within the hour he didn't even try and get me to stay out for longer hunting."
"Bingo." Jeff whispered with a grin as he looked around the room.
"Oh wow. Did my little baguette play us?"
"I think he did david. Fuck." Wes said in shock as a laugh escaped his throat as he glanced to Jeff who was laughing too. "You might be right blondie."
"I'm always right. Baby wouldn't dare hurt us unless he needed too. He loved us more than anything in this god damn world. I'm not saying it's true, I'm not saying he did it to protect us and maybe he did do it because he want-
"I need to see him." Nick said interrupting his boyfriend and he was already knocking on the bathroom door. "Porcelain?"
"I'm sorry, he can't come to the door right now. Please leave your message after the be-
Nick burst into laughter and quickly placed a hand over his mouth, cursing in his head for laughing at the man. He heard Kurt laugh too and for a moment he had forgot how much he had hurt them. The others couldn't help but smile too, he always knew how to make you feel better even through an argument.
"Stop being a jackass porcelain and open your door."
"Are you going to strangle me again?"
"No."
"Call me a dirty whore?"
"No."
Kurt opened the door with a smirk on his face as his eyes roamed over his body. "You're so hot. No wonder blondie is so head of heels for you. I can see the appeal."
Nick eyes went wide at his statement and he couldn't help but choke a laugh out. "You find me hot porcelain?"
"Yep." Kurt said shamelessly as he lifted his hand as he started to play with the strings on his hoodie. "Do you wanna come in?"
"Holy fucking shit. What is up with you?"
"Is that a no?"
"I'm with your best friend." Nick said in shock but kurt looked like he didn't give a shit.
"He can watch or join in it's no problem." Kurt said with a shrug as he looked over Nick's shoulder to his best friend who had his mouth wide open. "You suit having your mouth open like that. No wonder Nicky moans like a fucking little bitch when he ge-
Nick quickly clamped his hand over his mouth but he could feel the smirk under his palm and then the laughing started between all of them and for a second everything was back to normal. Kurt had started to cry in laughter, still with his mouth covered but Nicky could see pain in his eyes and he didn't know if his crying was with laughter or his suffering the past year. The others seen it too for a split second but they carried on laughing, not wanting to push him anyway any further. They needed to know why.
"Doesn't that defeat the object of being with someone? If you're just going to fuck someone else?" Nick questioned as he removed his hand but it remained on his face.
"I guess I'm not good with being faithful. It's a good job I'm not a Bible basher isn't it? Because I would be going to hell right now." Kurt replied back as he glanced to his hand for a second before meeting his eyes again. "You can either come in and have sex with me or you can turn around and go back to your intervention. Your choice."
"I would rather stick pins in the end of my dick."
"That's a shame. I'm great in bed. Ask Anderson." Kurt said with a smirk before shutting the door over on his face.
"No fucking wa-
Nick started to bang on the door as he heard his hysterical manic laughs from behind it. The louder he knocked the louder his laughs became and the frustration was making him angry again.
"He did not just say that." Blaine started to stand and make his way to the door shaking his head at the boldness he was displaying since he was back. He lifted he fist and knocked. "That's a pretty bold statement don't you think Kurt?"
"Are you denying I'm not good in bed Anderson?"
"Oh no I'm not denying it. You're great in bed but you might have to go to Sebastian to verify that since he was the last person you slept with right?"
"Ooooo that was good." Kurt whispered through the door and they could practically hear his smirk.
"Did that hurt?"
"It hurt you more than it hurt me baby."
Blaine closed his eyes as he placed his forehead against the cold wood. "Do you remember the first date we had?"
"I don't think so. That was so four years ago."
"I don't think you realise how hard this is for me kurt. I'm trying to be civil, I'm trying to get some closure so why can't you give me that?" Blaine said in frustration before he started to walk away from the door but he stopped.
"It was a Saturday. It was raining pretty bad. I didn't have my coat so you covered me with your blazer even though you knew your hair would come undone. You had blue bow tie on that I got you from this stupid fucking shop when I went shopping with blondie our first week together. You ordered for me, terribly in french may I add and then we had the whole restaurant to ourselves for the evening. You absolutely hated the food but you endured it because you knew I loved it. You fed me dessert even though I told you I hated it but you knew inside I was practically already falling for you with you just by that one act. You told me I was beautiful and I believe it, you showered me with love and affection when I needed it and you made me feel like I was the only man you had ever had eyes for, who you would only have eyes for. We took a walk and after a while you asked me to dance with you in the rain. The first few seconds I wanted to kill you Anderson but as soon as I looked into your eyes I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You walked me back my room, even though we board next to each other and you kissed me goodnight and told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to you."
Blaine was crying silently tears and so was every single man in that room. He blew air out of his mouth as he placed a hand on the door as he shut his eyes.
"Why are you doing this yourself? Haven't you suffered enough?" Kurt asked softly and Blaine swore he felt weight on the door like his hand was placed against it too.
"I'm reminding you."
"Reminding me of what?"
"That you still have heart. You could of said yes Kurt but instead you told me every single detail of that night and how you felt. That's not someone who just falls out of love and cheats so I'm asking you, do you still love me?"
Kurt opened the door slowly, he leaned against the doorframe as his eyes ran over his ex boyfriend like he was looking for the first time. He met his eyes and for a second he felt like he was crumbling under his gaze.
"No."
Blaine let out a laugh in amusement. He was lying right to his face and they could all see the bullshit. He glanced back to to his ex boyfriend who seemed unfazed by his reaction and he started to wonder what exactly happened when he left Dalton.
"What's so funny Anderson?"
"I just find it funny how you can say that so easily and lie through your teeth and expect me to believe you."
Kurt mouth turned up slighty in a smile but it only lasted a second or two before he had realised he had done it. He glanced over his shoulder to Nick before glancing back to Blaine.
"I don't love you. I did love you but I don't anymore. I'm sorry if that's hard to swallow but I'm not lying to you."
"Why did you look at Nicky?" Blaine questioned but Kurt shook his head with a laugh.
"No I didn't Anderson."
"Yes you fucking did."
"Why did you look at me porcelain?" Nick said from the bedroom with confusion in his features.
"Are you done don't seriously? You're boring me." Kurt started to tap on his leg, unaware that he was even doing it until he felt a warm finger brush against the back of his hand.
He didn't say a word, he couldn't say anything. The touch was making him dizzy, he could hear the curly haired man talk and pull a face of concern but he had completely zoned out at the feelings of his skin sending shivers down his spine.
"Kurt?"
It would take five seconds to ruin everything he was worked for the past year. The first second would be stepping forward, the second would be leaning in and waiting for him to accept it or not.
"Kurt?"
The third would be the connection. The feeling of his lips against his was already making his heart pound. The fourth would be deepening it so he could taste him and feel him.
"Kurt?"
The fifth would be grabbing this man and pulling him into his room, so he could show him how much he had missed every inch of his body.
Kurt?"
He felt the sickness in his throat and he swallowed. He felt stuck on the spot and it only got worse when his fingers brushed up his palm teasingly.
"Is my baby okay Blaine?"
"I don't know Jeffery. He's zoned out."
He started to feel hot all of sudden and he blew air out his mouth as his eyes started to water unintentionally. He felt his fingers brush across his forehead, removing the beads of sweat that had formed and it only broke his heart more.
"Can you wet a flannel for me blondie?"
He started to tug at his hoodie, feeling restricted by the heavy weight and his heart started to beat faster, so fast he thought he was going to collapse in his arms.
"I think he's having a panic attack."
"You don't think gorgeous?" Kurt choked out as he gripped onto the doorframe for support but his hand slipped.
"Woa-
"Falling for me already? And so soon?" Blaine whispered into his ear as he wrapped an arm around his torso to steady him.
Kurt didn't reply, he couldn't reply as all he could concentrate was his arms wrapped around his body. He didn't even know his head was in his neck until he felt Blaine's fingers run through his blue hair, calming him exactly how he always did. He could smell his smell, that woody floral scent that had been torturing his mind for a year and he brushed his nose along the base of his neck slowly, his lips barely brushing his olive skin.
"Kurt?"
He moved his hands up to his curly hair as he inhaled him slighty, he scent making his shoulder relax and a smile graced his face. He moved his face up, his nose brushing against his cheek now and the right by his lips.
"Kurt?"
Their lips was an inch away from touching and their fingers was twitching slighty, ready to join and they could barely breath at the thought of kissing again.
"Fuck."
Kurt pushed him away and slammed the door in his face. He opened his mouth in shock as he stared at the door in front of him and his mind went on overdrive and before he knew it his phone was smashed against the wall in anger.
"What the fuck just happened?" Blaine whispered in confusion as he stared at the door in front of him.
"He went to kiss you."
"No fucking shit Nic-
They flinched when they heard the phone bouncing off the wall and flinched again when they heard the slamming of his door. Jeff was already flying into the room after him as they all slowly sat down to wrap their heads around what just happens five seconds ago.
"Blaine?"
"What the fuck has just happened?"
"Baby? What did the phone do to you?" Jeff said as he started to pick the broken phone off the floor as he glanced up to his best friends for answers. "Baby?"
"What is he getting from this? Seriously? Why can't he fucking just leave me alone to get on with my year." Kurt said in frustration as he started to help his best friend pick up his broken phone from the floor. "I've been here an hour and I've been strangled, insulted, led on and bombarded with forty five fucking questions and my head is going to explode."
"They're frustrated and angry. They get to bombarded you with questions baby after what happen-
"You can say it Jeffery. After I cheated." Kurt said cutting him off as he threw the pieces on his bed. "They get to bombard me with questions after I cheated."
"Don't do that Kurt. You're torturing yourself just as much as they're tortured."
"Well it's the truth isn't it? I am a fucking dirty whore and I deserve every ounce of grief I get from every single one of them but they doesn't mean it's alright for them to do it."
"Don't say that okay? Just come and please sit with me." Jeff said tapping the bed and Kurt sighed as he sat down with his best friend.
"I'm ready to walk out of this fucking place blondie."
"Come on baby, what's bothering you?" Jeff said as he started to push him forcefully back and lifting his legs over to straddle him. "I know you erm."
"Say it."
"Cheated. I know you cheated." Jeff said as his voice broke. "But there's something about that is off baby and I don't like it one bit and it's scaring me. There's this type of darkness that is right here." Jeff placed a hand on his heart. "Trying to get out and I want to get it out so I can help you. Please let me help you."
"In a few days, I'm going to sit you down. There's something I need you tell you but I'm not ready to yet. Do you understand?"
Jeff nodded as he wiped his eyes as he continued. "It's going to shock you, it's going to devastate you and I don't even think I can get the words out yet to tell you. All you need you to know is that the reason I haven't told you is not because I didn't want you to know but because I know how heartbroken you would be and I'm still reeling from it myself. Do you still understand?"
"I understand baby."
"I'm sorry I'm being a dick blondie. It's just better this way this you know?"
"No it's not I want my Kurt back." Jeff said as he leaned down so their faces was barely touching. "My kind, emotional and beautiful best friend back. I'm so fucking scared for you."
"I'm sick of being emotional and weak. It's all I did and was for three years straight. I needed to pull myself together before I crashed. Just give me time okay? Give me time to settle in." Kurt said with a sigh and Jeff finally nodded as he laid down, resting his face into his shoulder.
"Did you really hurt yourself baby?"
"Yes."
"Is that the only thing you did?"
"No."
"Can I see your wrists?" Jeff said shakily into his skin as he gripped into his arm.
"No."
"Why not?
Jeff went to move but he was pulled back into his his body and arms was wrapped around him in a matter of seconds refusing to let go.
"You're hurting me baby." Jeff sobbed out but Kurt held him tighter.
"I don't fucking care blondie. Just let me feel you."
Jeff nodded and started to hold him tighter too as they laid in silence. The others knew just by Kurt's voice he wouldn't show them for a reason and it made them all nauseous at the thought of him hurting himself. They could hear his heartbeat thumping so fast they thought it was going to stop but they knew he was in good hands with the blonde, differences aside.
"The thing that you're going to tell me, does it have anything to do with Sebastian?"
"No blondie."
"Will the others get to know? Or is just me?"
"You're going to need Nicky and they deserve to know too. I guess I can tell you all together."
"I'm scared."
"Don't be scared, I've got you." Kurt whispered into thin air as his hands started to run through the blondes soft hair gently. "How about we go out after my induction with Mr Alexander?"
"I would love that so much."
"And we can go for a walk by the beach?"
"Please." Jeff said with a huge grin as he finally looked up to his best friend. "When we get back can we have bath?"
"Oh Jesus yes."
"And then can we watch Alice in wonderland?"
"I would love that very much." Kurt whispered as he moved his blonde hair from his face so he could see him better.
"I'll even steal some of Wesley's boushie wine. How does that sound?"
"Delightful."
They both smiled sweetly at each other before their was a knock on the door. Jeff told him it was their principal and he nodded as they both climbed from the bed.
"I love you blondie."
"I love you more baby."
They blew each other a kiss before Jeff made his way into the bathroom toward Blaine's room while he made his way to greet is principal. He opened the door and was shocked when he was greeted with a hug.
"It's so nice to see you. How are you settli-
"What happened to your neck child? Is your nose broken?"
"My boyfriend got a bit hansy. Don't worry Mr Alexander it was consensual." Kurt said with a grin and his principal choked out a laugh.
"You've changed a lot since I first met you. That shy boy who told me silly facts like the creator of the frisbee that got turned into one when he died? Is he long gone?"
Kurt burst into laughter as he leaned his head on the doorframe as he looked at his principal. "I hope not. I hope he's in there somewhere."
"Are you sure you're okay? Do I need to file a report?"
"Oh god no. I'm fine honestly I promise you."
"Okay Kurt. Why don't we start our tour? A lot has changed since you left Dalton. Did Mr Montgomery give you your induction and how was it?"
"He was great. Very informative. It was good choice choosing him." Kurt said with a smile as they left the room.
"I thought so. He takes huge pride in this school. I thought it would fitting for you. How about I show you the new library? I think you'll fall in love with it."
"New library?" Kurt said as his eyes lit up and his principal laughed at his excitement.
"Wait till you see it Kurt. It'll blow your mind."
