"Ugh" I thought to myself. "I asked for a cool gray paint for the walls, not warm beige!" Ninja minions can be absolutely useless sometimes.
We were in the process of renovating our secret lair. I wanted it to feel more like I actually owned a house instead of an open plan fraternity. I didn't exactly love the idea of being twenty-two years old and having bunk beds and ten roommates. The ninjas ended up renting another house about a mile away, so I could have the "Evil Lair" of my dreams. Which was basically a two bed one and a half bath house in the woods.
I hadn't cared nearly as much about plan foiling or revenge or anything similar in quite a long time. I couldn't say I was Garu's biggest fan now or anything, but I didn't want to push the guy off a roof or something. At least not actively. I wanted to be relatively normal. Maybe get a girlfriend. Brainless ninjas can only offer so much companionship. But who was I kidding, I should probably just get a cat or something.
"Hey boss! Ya think we could order some noodles or somethin'? We're all starrrvvviiiinnnggg"
No man should have to witness a group of grown men puppy-dog-eyeing them for lunch. It was way more sad of a sight then I should have been experiencing on a Wednesday at 2pm.
"Goh-Rong?" I suggested. They all nodded their heads with the excitement of a child being offered a trip to the carnival.
I called in the order, talking to one of the owners whose names I can never remember. At least, I can never remember which one is which.
Their niece however, I couldn't forget her name if I tried. Pucca has been a background character in my life since I was a little kid. We weren't super close or anything, but I most definitely knew her. She might have actually kicked my ass more times than Garu at this point. Or maybe her beatings were just more memorable. I mean, my rival and her crush were the same person, so the ass kickings were inevitable. I never really understood how such a tiny, quiet girl could just throw me across a room with one arm like that though.
"What time's the food comin', boss?!" they shouted at me, even though I was literally five feet away.
"Forty-five minutes" I yelled back at them. They sighed, clearly they had hoped it'd be more like forty-five seconds. I couldn't disagree with them though, some jjajang noodles sounded incredible. We'd been remodelling for hours.
"Boss, you want me to go patch that hole in the roof now?" one of my ninjas ran up to me and asked.
"Yeah, just be careful. I'll actually throw you into the sun if you make the hole worse." They were all starting to give me a headache. This food literally could not come soon enough.
