Chapter 10

Present Day

Elsi emerges from the treeline watching distraughtly as Kylo Ren's ship takes off. She rushes past the remains of Maz's Palace hoping that everyone was okay. She hoped that BB-8 had made it back as well.

As she rounded the corner of a large chunk of a broken wall Elsi stopped as she saw Finn and Han waiting at the bottom of a resistance transport ship ramp. She was relieved to see BB-8 roll up beside him.

She could tell that this was a difficult moment for Han; facing Leia after running away for a long time. She decides to give him a few moments to greet her again. So, she walks over at a slow pace.

When she reaches Finn, who is standing back from Han, she clears her throat to grab his attention.

Finn turns to her and surprisingly pulls her in for a hug.

"Elsi, you're okay!"

Tears appeared in her eyes, it was nice to be missed. She wiped them away before anyone could see.

"I'm sorry Finn, I couldn't save Rey. I tried but-"

"Its okay Elsi. Kylo Ren is not someone to be messed with. When I saw he had Rey and not you I had only hoped you were somewhere else and that he hadn't killed you."

"I-" Elsi felt the force call to her as it did before. She looked down and saw Luke Skywalkers lightsaber in Finns hands. "Where did you get that?!"

"Maz gave it to me. Only for safe keeping of course, until we can get it back to Skywalker."

Elsi realised that the saber must have been what caused her enormous reaction to the force before. The flashbacks and hallucinations of fire must have been due to her close proximity to the saber once it had been taken out of its case.

Elsi couldn't stop staring at it.

"Elsi?"

She looks up to see Leia walking towards her.

Elsi forgets the saber for the moment and runs towards her past mentor/trainer to hug her.

"Leia, its so good to see you."

"It has been too long my dear." Leia hugs her back just as fiercely.

Elsi feels Hans hand rest gently on her back. "Glad to see you're okay kid."

She gulps as she prepares to reveal what happened. "I saw him- and- and I fought with him. But he's too powerful. I'm sorry Leia I failed you again. Rey has seen the map to Luke, Be-Kylo will try to pull it from her mind. I couldn't save her. I'm not strong enough to defeat him and bring him back."

Leia looked upon Elsi as though her own child. "Dear, these burdens are not all on your shoulders. Let us help you. Let me help you." She looked at Leia and knew that she was hinting at the times when she had helped to train her to use the force and to use her lightsaber in the past. She just didn't know how to respond. If she had her own lightsaber back, could she stand a chance against Kylo?

"Come, we must get somewhere safe." Leia linked arms with Elsi and all together they walked onto the ship to head back to the resistance base.


Flashback – Resistance mission

It took 2 months after Ben left for good before Elsi agreed to start jedi training again. This time she was Leia's pupil instead of Luke's. Luke had disappeared shortly after Ben and no one had heard from him since. At least he was alive; alive but now in hiding.

At the loss of her son, disappearance of her brother and the struggles in her marriage, Leia threw herself into reforming the resistance. This time they were fighting against the rising of the first order lead by Snoke and commanded by Kylo Ren. Whilst balancing all of this she agreed to train Elsi in her remaining jedi training. She promised herself that she would not lose Elsi to the dark side as she had lost her son.

Elsi was a patient pupil, just as Leia was a patient master, but often Elsi wondered if it was still worth all of this training if it would lead to nothing. Whilst both women still believed that they could bring Ben back, at what cost? Would he ever be himself again? How would he live with all he had done under Snoke's command?

Elsi wondered this throughout the next year training with Leia, throughout the countless missions she was sent on for the resistance. But on one mission she was sent on, it all became a little bit too much.

She, along with 3 other resistance fighters were sent to a small planet just south of the Nebula system. It wasn't highly inhabited, though Elsi knew that she would do her best to defend the species that lived there.

Their mission was simple. Sneak in, grab the intel, sneak out.

What they didn't plan for was for the first order to also find out about this information and attempt steal it for themselves.

When they arrived, after trekking through muddy terrain away from their ship, a dozen Stormtroopers searched the small planets surface setting fires to huts and forcing the inhabitants to their knees, with blasters pointed at their faces.

The inhabitants were simple folk, living off the land, living peacefully. Elsi was reminded of her own family and how similar it appeared that the two species were.

Her heart shuddered as she saw a trooper pull a child from the group of inhabitants that were still alive.

"Alright, tell us where the information is and no one else has to get hurt." Elsi could tell that the inhabitants were petrified of the trooper and were fearful of what he would do to the child if they didn't comply.

All Elsi could do was see herself in the eyes of that child and could barely hear her commander Dal who was instructing the team on how best to handle the situation.

"That will take too long." Elsi interrupted his planning. "If we do this your way then by the time we get to them, that child will be dead. That child along with half of those people."

"No, if we go rushing in there then those troopers will alert the first order that we are here and send an entire fleet to attack us. This is supposed to be a stealth mission."

She stepped towards Dal and stood right in front of his face though he was a couple of inches taller than her. "Those people don't deserve this."

"They don't, but we are clearly outnumbered and can't deal with this. We must get back to the ship and call for reinforcements to intercept the troopers as their ship leaves the atmosphere."

The child screamed out in pain and fear. Elsi had enough. She saw red.

"You may not be able to deal with them, but I can."

She ignored the call from her resistance team as she force jumped over the hill they were hiding behind and landed directly behind the trooper holding the child.

Without thought she ignited her saber directly through the stormtroopers back and he fell to the floor, dead at her feet.

Silence ignited the area as no one dared to move, too shocked at the unexpected entrance Elsi had made.

More screams entered the air as the inhabitants took their chance to flee and hide where they could.

Troopers fired their blasters at Elsi who either froze their shots with the force or reflected them with her blade.

One after the other the troopers fell to the ground as Elsi jumped over heads and sliced at each trooper viciously. Her mind had tunnel vision. Protect the child. Do what she was trained to.

They hurt that child, she would leave none alive.

After all of this destruction, after the death of her friends Voe, Tai and Hennix. Perhaps Ben wasn't able to come back to the light. Maybe the dark side had corrupted him too much. Just as it was beginning to corrupt her.

"Elsi?"

Perhaps she should just give in, it would be easier that way. Maybe then she could finally be with Ben, without anyone telling them that their relationship was wrong.

"ELSI!" She snapped out of her dazed thinking to peer her eyes at the resistance fighters behind her. They were staring at her with confusing expressions; ones that Elsi could not make out.

It took her a moment to realise that there was no one left to fight. No more threat. She followed many of the resistant fighters gazes down to her feet at where every single stormtrooper lay dead. Lightsaber wounds were in their sides, blood was flowing through their singed armour where her blade had effortlessly sliced through.

She realised now what her teams expressions were. They were expressions of fear. Not fear of the stormtroopers, not of the battle that had just taken place in front of them, but they were scared of her.

She couldn't have that, she wouldn't.

They were all dead, because of her.

Commander Dal walked cautiously towards her, keeping his eyes on her saber still ignited in her hand.

She did this, she caused this destruction. She had mercilessly struck down these troopers. Enemy or not, under the armour they were still people.

Her whole body shook at the thought of turning to the dark side, what it would do to her. How she would turn out just like the people who had destroyed her home planet.

She refused to turn out like them. There was only one way that she could ensure that she wouldn't.

"Elsi, its okay." Commander Dal quietly ordered the other fighters to search for the scared inhabitants and to obtain the intel peacefully. "The others will get what we came for. Let's get back to the ship." He followed his gaze to the bodies at her feet and flinched back when she retracted her saber. Elsi noticed.

She didn't say anything but nodded in his direction as she walked past him to the extraction ship.

The journey back to the resistance base held a real significance for Elsi. After 12 years of training to be a jedi, at 22 Elsi felt that for once in her life she didn't want to follow anyone else's rules but her own.

She was scared that she would turn dark but at least without the force she wouldn't lust after power.

If she could find her own path, travel, explore, experience what the galaxy had to offer her then maybe she could forget about her pain. Maybe she could finally move on from Ben, from the constant struggle to stay in the light.

Maybe she could finally figure out where she belonged.

Mind made up, as soon as the ship landed in the resistance bay hanger Elsi ignored everyone around her and rushed straight to her room.

Whilst she knew running away should not be the answer, she was worried that if she spoke to Leia then she might be convinced to stay.

Elsi rushed around her room, taking only the essentials including her holo-pad, some clothes, food for the journey, her blaster and her saved credits.

She wrote a quick note to Leia explaining how she was sorry, how she couldn't stay here anymore. She included instructions on how to contact her on her holo-pad if she ever needed help. Apart from that she didn't tell Leia much else. Not how long she would be gone, not if she would ever return. She simply signed off with reiterating how sorry she was for failing her, sorry for not returning her son to her, and a thank you for training her in the force and making her feel like she had a family after she lost everything. Luke took her in she was young and Leia took her in when Ben turned to the dark side.

It appeared that the Skywalkers had done more for her than she could ever repay. But hopefully by leaving she wouldn't become like Ben and turn against everything that she once stood for.

She left her note on her pillow and rested her lightsaber carefully on top of it. It felt like she would be leaving a part of herself behind. That saber having been resting on her hip for most of her life. But she knew it was the right thing to leave it.

She would leave and start a new life.

She would move on from her pain.

She would finally live, make new friends, and perhaps even find a new family.

She hoped she could leave her past behind her.

If only that was possible.


Authors Note:

Hi Everyone, really sorry about the late update. I've been really busy recently with work and family stuff. Chapter 11 will also be out within the next few days to make up for the long wait. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and got a little more insight into Elsi's past and her reasoning for giving up the force and her lightsaber. Let me know what you think of the story so far. Thanks to everyone who reads this story, especially those who review/favourite/follow. ZV.