Back on my bullshit with some bullshit inspired by the chaos in my camera roll. Enjoy.
Weekly Reports
Derek groaned in frustration as he stared at the manila folder that Parrish had dropped off at the Hale House for him. He knew that he needed to read the paperwork inside...no. No. He didn't need to read it. He didn't want to read any of it. He HAD to read it. Chris Argent and Sheriff Stilinski had made it extremely clear that the Alpha of Beacon Hills had zero choice whatsoever in this situation and that any attempts to refuse to read the paperwork in the weekly folder delivery would result in Derek (who would like everyone to at least try to remember that he is, in fact, a grown adult for once) being "grounded".
On another hand...what did it say about things that he had given in and agreed after such a "parental" threat was used on him? Especially when both men (and Melissa McCall who had only walked in during the ensuing argument involving Derek's attempt to remind them that he was an adult and neither man was his father or had parental rights over him) had given him the "parental looks of disapproval" and he'd caved faster than Scott ditched Stiles for any possible second of Allison-time?
"I'm starting to think I might be pathetic." Derek grumbled at he planted himself on the couch and picked up the folder with all of the caution that anyone with sense would use when handling a potentially venomous snake.
The folder wasn't threatening in itself, really it wasn't. It was the usual pale peachy tan color on any other folder of it's kind, just like the others steadily filling up the drawer in the file cabinet that he had salvaged from the fire debris. Even the writing, printed letters and numbers in regular black Sharpie, on the front was, by all accounts, technically inoffensive in itself. It was what the combination of letters and numbers on the cover said that, in any other circumstances and combination would be completely nonthreatening.
Beacon Hills Werewolf Pack
Weekly Code Whack-A-Doo Report
Peter Hale and 'Stiles' Stilinski'
PS. Deal with this, Derek. - Parrish
Derek groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in the blind hope that he could pre-emptively ward off the coming headache...even if a part of him was morbidly amused that even on "unofficial paperwork" like this, Stiles first name remained the mystery of the ages.
"Okay...let's do this." Derek groused as he opened the folder to read the first page.
Sunday...7:14 AM, civilian call. P. Hale and S. Stilinski and were seen exiting Walmart with a shopping cart full of gallon-sized bottles of bleach and loading the bottles and several shopping bags into the back of 's Jeep.
Derek clenched hid eyes shut in preparation because Peter and Stiles should be banned from Walmart, but he didn't know who to call so that he could talk them into it without giving away too much information that would lead to a federal investigation...and really, the last thing that they needed right now (or any time really) was a visit from the feds. Scott would most likely have a meltdown of some kind that, in all honesty, the Alpha really, REALLY did not want to deal with.
I responded to the call and pulled both of them over in the parking lot of the park. P. Hale and S. Stilinski agreed to allowing a search of the contents of the vehicle. Total number of bottles of bleach was 10. Shopping bags contained four bottles of iodine, three 8-pack boxes of cold medicine, six 2-packs of copper scrubbers, a 100-count bag of water balloons, four 2-liter bottles of Coca-Cola, and three rolls of Mentos.
The Alpha of Beacon Hills paused at that, 'Eyebrows of Doom' practically flirting with his hairline, as he tried to comprehend just how so much had been fit into the Jeep to start with (especially considering that Stiles tended to keep said-Jeep well-stocked with gear, supplies, and assorted junk at this point) before his memory casually reminded him that Peter was an expert at getting all kinds of items packed in the most efficient and secure possible way no matter the size of the space that he was having to work with.
A skill that, said-card carrying member of the undead, attributed to many, many rounds of Tetris.
Located three 10-galloon plastic buckets and a trench shovel hidden under a tarp in the Jeep. When questioned, P. Hale and S. Stilinski stated that they were doing a science experiment. All items were confiscated on suspicion as authorized by Sheriff Stilinski for when dealing with P. Hale and S. Stilinski.
Derek breathed a sigh of relief at reading that last part because he did not want to even think about what the actual hell that his uncle and Stiles had been planning...though he was definitely resolving to start blocking them from watching and-or recording any more episodes of Breaking Bad on the DVR, even if he had to offer to pay for a weekend trip for Danny and Ethan to convince Danny to set up the block for him.
Usual complaints ensued, but neither resisted the confiscation beyond S. Stilinski's request that I leave his baseball bat as he needed it for protection.
Okay...the bat was something they had learned to be leery of, especially since Stiles was beginning to build an arsenal of said improvised-weapons, all of different materials to combat whatever supernatural threat that they might encounter. Some of those bats even had runes and-or spikes-slash-studs in them for an added punch of pain, and that was before you even got into the 'varnish' and 'polish' that Stiles was developing to maintain his weapons of choice.
Chris Argent was impressed to say the least.
Reluctantly, Derek skimmed the rest of the first page when he realized the the page was, aside from the odd line break, single-spaced and, as much as he respected Parrish's dedication to doing a thorough job...the Alpha did not have near enough alcohol in the house (read any due to the teenagers and irresponsible uncle who made up his pack) to help him through reading the entirety of how Peter and Stiles had turned a "day of rest" into a chaotic disaster by apparently trying to, hopefully unwittingly, bring about Armageddon via copious amounts of "science experiments" and "big booms".
Monday, as it turned out had gone only marginally better due to Stiles and the majority of the pack having classes...though, as usual, Peter had gotten himself into his own brand of mischief that had resulted in the "Dread Zombie Wolf" being physically escorted out of the Sheriff's office (read Sheriff Stilinski's actual office) no less than four times by said-Sheriff, with the last time being in cuffs that Peter had, as expected, escaped from not long after he had been taken outside and cuffed to a lamppost. Funnily enough, Argent had driven by had recorded video of the wolf being manhandled by the Sheriff, and had promptly sent the video to everyone in the pack except for Deaton, for unknown reasons beyond "he knows what he did". Of course, after classes let out and any homework was done, Peter and Stiles had proceeded to make up for lost time, including Erica and Isaac in the ensuing chaos, and had gotten themselves almost arrested by Parrish for a "dye-filled water gun fight" around town.
Parrish had somehow won the water gun fight, though Derek wasn't sure how nor why exactly he'd gotten involved in it, leading to him capturing the quartet.
Tuesday went roughly the same as Monday, though Peter had decided to harass Argent to the point that the Hunter had broken out the netgun, again, and delivered to irate wolf to Derek no less than twice. The last time had been peaceful as Argent had also decided that he was done with Peter for the day and had also broken out a tranq gun and pumped enough sedative into Peter to cold-cock a charging rhinoceros; Derek had absolutely loved the ensuing late afternoon of peace and quiet. As expected, Peter woke up not long after the Pack had arrived at the house to help with a few grounds repairs after the last incident with a particularly pissed-off nature sprite Monday night, and (also as expected) the repairs had veered sharply off-course when Peter and Stiles snuck off and spray-painted Argent's SUV pastel baby pink and had to flee to hide out at an old sawmill somewhere in the woods for several hours only for the Hunter to eventually show up around dinner time at the Stilinski house to drop off a zip-tied and gagged Stiles with the Sheriff, before he had delivered a hogtied, gagged, and drugged again Peter to Derek, Cora, and Isaac.
Derek had, in all fairness, offered to pay for the repairs to the SUV...but Argent had declined, leaving Derek to believe that there was a possibility that the man might have actually enjoyed hunting Peter and Stiles down, but he was never going to voice that opinion as he liked not being shot at, thank you very much.
Wednesday, thankfully, was quiet enough (and never was Derek so thankful that the majority of his Pack were teenagers as at least he got some kind of reprieve during the day from the Duo of Disaster that was his uncle and Stiles) but, as usual, Peter had apparently gotten bored and had decided to set-up meet-ups between the Sheriff and Argent, all disguised as one contacting the other for help with something or to provide "helpful information", and how he did that with their cellphones through his second laptop had only lead to a lot of irritation on the part of the men in question...and Danny being on the receiving end of an interrogation since he had apparently made the program that allowed the chaos to happen, even if he had never given said-program to Peter in the first place. Keeping Ethan and Jackson from trying to kill Peter had been a pain in the ass...but Stiles had proven useful in reminding everyone that the "Zombie Wolf" was more than capable of charming extra lives out of the Devil, so killing him wasn't really an option at this point.
In all honesty, he still had zero clue what Peter had hoped to gain from his prank on Argent and the Sheriff and, to be even more honest, he really didn't want to know.
Thursday was mostly quiet, again due to the Pack's schooling, with only Peter being "creepy" for kicks (and, thanks to the Sheriff saying something one freaking time) deciding to prank Melissa by greeting her at her back window on her day off, rubbing an apple on his cheek while staring at her as she got her morning coffee. Melissa, in the true "I have no time for your crap" style that she had, simply used the hose attachment to her sink to spray Peter through the window and reprimanded him like he was a disobedient puppy and not a resurrected werewolf. Peter had sulked on the couch after that, gone off to harass Argent and gotten sedated again, and finally had sulked some more until the Pack were free from school, in which he had met up with them and he and Stiles had dragged well over half of the Pack- (Lydia and Allison had "something" to do) out to have another "paintball shoot-out" in "cowboy outfits" in the park.
Parrish had subsequently bested all of them within minutes of the hellhound's arrival to stop them...and had revealed some impressive skills with a lasso considering how he had caught several of the pack.
Friday morning and early afternoon had seen the Pack in school as normal for a weekday, and Peter stepping up his solo chaos in preparation for the upcoming weekend. Argent had been harassed on his own many times and the wolf had just barley avoided being darted enough times to legally count as a pincushion, the Sheriff had physically removed Peter from the station and his squad car enough times that Derek was getting phone calls to put a kiddie leash on his uncle or crate him, and Melissa had been bothered only once but she had offered her services in neutering Peter to calm him down if Deaton couldn't be bothered to.
After the Pack got out of classes, all hell broke loose as six angry minotaur had come out of nowhere to wreck havoc on them all and the whole situation, including all of the property destruction until they were able to get the minotaur squad out of town and into the woods, had to be explained away as "costumed drugged-up hooligans" in a feat of verbal gymnastics worthy of Olympic gold...so Peter and Stiles at least earned themselves a reprieve for the night with that.
Saturday...oh Saturday.
Derek didn't want to remember everything that had happened today. He didn't want to remember waking up, staring at his coffee, and desperately wishing that he had some wolfsbane and anise-laced hard liquor that he could pour "just a splash" into so that he was prepared for the day. He didn't want to remember just how many times his phone had been blown up with texts and calls from everyone in the Pack regarding the chaos that had pretty much ruled the entire day.
Reluctantly, Derek looked down at the single-spaced sheet of paper, so unobtrusive in it's plain black type and white background...and got as far as 8:22 AM, civilian call. P. Hale and S. Stilinski were seen placing a backseat-made inflatable mattress, pillow, and folded up army-surplus blanket in the backseat of an SUV. before he snapped the folder shut and went to put it in the drawer of the file cabinet with the others. He was done for the week.
TBH...Derek may have brought this on himself by getting into the habit of turning his phone off for his own sanity.
