Off the shores of Underland, not too far off from where Alice had slain the Jabberwocky on the Frabjous Day, sailed a small fishing boat that was encased in a glass bottle. Upon this small vessel sat two fishing companions. A carpenter who had not a single bite that morning, and a walrus who had eaten enough fish to feed a family of seven that very same morning.
"Come now Walrus! How is it that you keep catching all these fish, and I ain't even got so much as a nibble?!" He snapped, famished and disgruntled. The walrus just chuckled.
"Oh old chum!" He began with a puffed-up chest. "Are you suggesting that I am cheating you out of fish?"
"Well, it wouldn't be yer' first time!" The carpentered grumbled, and his stomach replied.
The walrus did indeed have a trick up the sleeves he did not wear. The carpenter's fishing hole at the bottom of the glass was sealed up, so no fish would ever take his bait, for they could not reach it.
Glaring out into the vast blue before him, the carpenter swore he saw a glint of gold in the water, but he would be damned if he alerted his cheating friend, so he remained silent. Maybe if he was truly lucky he would catch himself a Mock Turtle.
The Walrus, still enjoying the sport of catching fish and eating them raw, paid no mind to the Carpenter until the man began to rock the boat.
"Walrus! Look Look! In the water, there! It's a girl! No, A woman!"
"Bah! You old fool, you know as well as I do that women don't live in the sea! Mermaids and Sirens do however and one of these days they will take you if you-"
But the Walrus could not finish his lecture as the man unlatched the side porthole to try to drag the girl into the boat as her body floated closer and closer. In one swift swoop, the carpenter grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her into the boat.
Surveying her now, the pair of them were in shock that a land-dwelling creature was found this far out from shore.
"I say! I don't know if I should apologize or congratulate you." The walrus began, jealousy already sinking in. Not many could boast about the pier showing off that they caught a person at sea. "But where do you think she came from?"
"Aw 'at matters little to me Wally! I caught 'er all by meself, so I'm gonna keep 'er all to meself!"
"Fool! You can't keep a girl you caught at sea! This is a rare catch indeed! We should sell her at the market!"
"Walrus, you know as well as I do that you can sell a girl in Underland! Not since the White Queen came to power again!" He scoffed folding his arms. "Ain't no law saying you can't keep what you catch at sea!" He said with a sly grin.
The Walrus frowned. The man had him there. However, he still had his ways when it came to his old friend.
"But see here old chum. You caught yourself ONE girl! Think of what you could fetch at that price."
"Well she's a beauty, she is." He said already admiring her features. Blonde hair that clung to her frail and pale face. "She looks like an angel, she does. Oy! Do ya think she is one?!" The walrus cursed slapping the carpenter on the back of his head.
"Now see here! You caught yourself a very pretty and ripe girl while at sea. I will give you that, but think of what you could get with all the money if you sold her at the Black Market." He said with a wink.
"The 'Black' Market?" asked the Carpenter, his voice soft now as though they had to keep a secret, even though they were all alone. The walrus nodded in reply. The man shrank back now, abandoning his prize. Neither of them took to notice that she now opened her eyes.
"Walrus, you are quite mad. To think of going there-!" He shook his head. "No, No I won't! I ain't gonna go sell her there! I don't care how much I'd get for 'er. I'd be lucky to leave that place wit me life!"
"Now see here! You won't get a better offer on a thing such as her as you will there! It will be well worth the risk and I'll make you a deal! I'll go there with you, and I'll even give you the first half of the payment of her."
"Really? The first half?" He asked beginning to warm up to the idea of selling the water maiden. "How much do ya expect to fetch for her, Wally?"
"In the Outlands? I suspect at least… a thousand or so clams." He said, lying through his teeth, but the Carpenter was already sold, his head just as empty as his stomach.
"Alright Wally! If you help me get 'er in, I'll split the second half with you!" He shouted extending his arm out to meet his flipper, and with two shakes the deal was struck.
Pulling herself up by grabbing the side of the boat, Alice let of a strangled groan of pain. Her eyes went from the glass casing to the man in simple garbs, then to the walrus in a waistcoat. Why was it always waistcoats?
"Would it be too hasty of me to presume that I am in Won- Pardon. Underland?" She asked, having no idea what conversation that just took place. Her eyes looked back to the glass around them. "Only this place would come up with such a way to sail."
"What do ya mean by that Miss?! This is a fine boat she is!"
"I meant no offense, Sir, I'm just not used to sailing in a glass bottle. It's a simple but marvelous idea. I know of many would prefer it this way, less of a risk of falling into the sea." She muttered bitterly sitting up fully. "Now if you two would please, is this or is this not Underland? If it is, I would very much like to get to shore to see The Queen."
Suddenly the Carpenter went pale at the news that his prize of the market wanted to see The Queen.
"I say, Miss, what business would you have with The White Queen?" The walrus asked inquisitively, bringing forth a monocle from his waistcoat pocket.
"Well it's simple you see, I only need to speak with her. She may be able to answer as to how and why I have come back to Underland. It could be important." She spoke with a sense of urgency now looking to the two. "Now please! I must get to shore so I may address Her Highness with my presence!"
"And, uh, Miss? Just who might you be?" The Carpenter asked, utterly confused why his catch would need an audience with The White Queen herself.
"Well, I'm Alice." She spoke true. She had never been so sure of herself in the past, but since besting the Jabberwocky and ending the Red Queen's reign, she had become much more of herself. No longer Almost Alice.
The two stared at her in shock and awe, which Alice was more than acquainted with. However, she did not expect the sound of uncontrollable laughter from the two.
"You hear that?! You caught yourself a REAL Alice, old boy!" The Walrus exclaimed with tears boiling up in the corner of each eye, slapping him on the back a few times with his flipper.
"I can't believe I caught meself a REAL Alice!" shouted The Carpenter, slapping his own knee. "Oh Miss, you are quite a treat you are!" He said grinning before it dawned on him that his 'product' might be damaged. "Hey, Wally? Do you think she might not fetch a fair price now being that she is off with 'er head?"
Now the Walrus was contemplating this bit of information. It took only the maddest and most deplorable character to claim they were THE Alice with such conviction."
"Well-" Began the mammal, running his flipper over one of his polished tusks just as a man with a large beard might stroke while in thought. "I'm not sure old chum. I don't think it would, if anything you might be able to increase the value. The madder, the better! Besides, with the lot we are selling too, they won't notice at all, if anything they may think that she is indeed The Alice." He said with a chuckle.
"Now I can't help but interject here-" Alice started up, not at all liking the subject of this conversation. "But are you meaning to say that you two intend to sell me? That's Preposterous!" She muttered moving to stand. "And I shan't hear another word of it. Now if you don't mind, point me in what direction is the shore and I will take my leave!"
The pair now sat staring up at Alice, now seeing her muchness, took it for madness. To swim from here to the shore was a long swim indeed, and they no longer wondered as to how she washed out this far in the first place.
Without a second thought, the carpenter picked up his oar and bashed her across her head, sending the poor girl toppling over and her mind into the black abyss of unconsciousness.
When Alice awoke, she found herself with a cracked lip, a bruised and tender cheek along with a splitting ache in her head. Her eyes searched for the man who caused the discomfort but found he was nowhere in sight. In fact, she couldn't see a thing. She laid upon a cold, hard surface and felt she was in an enclosed space before she could even feel the bars with her own hands.
She was slow to stand and used the bars to help steady her out. Her eyes now adjusted to the dark, she could tell that the darkness was due to a sheet thrown over the cage. It seemed from the inside her prison resembled that of a birdcage. It even had a perch.
She tugged at the cloth in an attempt to shed some light, not only to her cage, but to her current predicament, but it would not budge. Sighing heavily with frustration Alice began to check her person for anything that could help her break free
Digging her pockets, she came up with nothing but lint, but she at least knew she was her right and proper size. She now felt around the cage, in search of the door. If she was lucky it could be a busted door, or even her captors may have forgotten to lock it. She got just to her the wall opposite of her when she heard footsteps approaching.
"Hello?" She called out, her voice not giving out a single indication of fear, but that of impatience. "Hello is someone there?" She called.
"Well, I guess that answers our question, doesn't it?" Came the first voice. It was high pitch, almost a screech to her.
"Well Faust, it's better to have a lively face than a sleeping one. That's what I say." Came the second voice, which came out as more of a growl than an actual voice. "Gets the auction really moving."
"If you say so, but I find it rather troublesome when they try to run," Came the first voice, which was the one that belonged to Faust.
"I would expect that much from a scavenger such as yourself," came the second voice again. "I heard that walrus talking. Apparently this girl is acquainted with The White Queen."
"I am!" Alice now interjected. "Please, let me go, I must speak to her at once." It wasn't a plea but a command. The sheet was ripped off to reveal the light as well as the owners of the voices. Alice was thankful that the room they were in was dim, her eyes hardly affected by the light.
Before she stood a large vulture wearing a worn-out vest, and a wolf dressed up in a ringmaster suit.
"She won't make much of a meal," muttered the wolf. "However, that means she won't be bought at meal prices.
"I think I could pick off the meat from her bones," squawked Faust, which earned him a glare from the wolf.
"No, you won't. She's got more value to me alive than you!" warned the wolf before looking over Alice and smirked, his fangs peeking out from his lips. "Bloody hell. She actually does resemble Alice of legend."
"I AM ALICE!" shouted the woman, her hands gripping the bars. The pair chuckled before looking over their shoulder.
"Well keep that up, darling." Urged the wolf, pulling a set of keys from his pocket and set them into the keyhole, only a few feet from Alice's position. "I do wish you were dressed in something more enticing, but it's too late for that now." The lock clicked and without so much as a hesitation, Alice burst through the now unlocked gate. The door swinging open to collide with the vulture's beak, erupting a yelp of pain from the owner.
Alice didn't get but three strides before she felt the wolf's massive paws wrap around her waist.
"See! What did I say Grail!? Sleepers never cause trouble!" wailed the vulture who was now tending to his busted beak with his wings. The canine chuckled.
"Maybe, but the feisty ones really bring in the clams. Get those manacles, we can't have 'Alice' escaping our company, can we?" Grail asked as his bird companion came over with the shackles, cuffing them to her wrists.
"Well, she better be bought out by someone who can pay for this! I think she chipped it!"
"Oh shut it, will you? Come on, I think I heard that rat call out for the final auction." The wolf said, pulling Alice along as she struggled against his hold as he pulled her out of the room and into a hall which led out to a stage.
Kicking as she was dragged out onto the stage, the wolf shoved her down to the floor where she stayed for the time being, her eyes surveying the scenery.
A rat, about the size of a small child, stood on a chair before the crowded auditorium. A full house, full of humans and animals alike.
"And here we have come to our final bidding. A woman, caught fresh out at sea just this morning!" Its voice was a whine. "We have reason to believe she is indeed bonkers, and full of muchness. We shall start the bidding at 200 pearls."
"250!" Called out a voice from the far back.
"I'll pay 350!"
"500!"
Alice glared at the crowd before her as she rose to her knees. This wasn't the Underland she remembered. Animal's selling people, it was barbaric, but yet not so different from London, which was all the more proof of how topsy turvy her world had become.
"900 Pearls, and I'll throw in a basket of clams!"
"What is the matter with you all?" Shouted Alice, which started to calm the crowd to hear her voice. "You can't buy me! I have no time for this, I must see The Queen, she must be expecting me!"
At first she thought she had won the crowd over because they died down to just whispers until a voice rang out.
"1050, and I put in a bucket of clams!"
Now the whole auditorium was in an uproar, her price soaring higher and higher, pearls soon became a thing of the past, and they were starting to attempt buying her off with ridiculous items. Shoes, their neighbor's garden produce, some attempted to bid with their grandmother's urn.
Alice continued to glare at the crowd as she got to her feet. She might have been able to walk away at this point, for the crowd was so busy fighting below she could hardly believe they would recall what they were fighting for, however, the vulture kept her on center stage as the wolf kept a mindful eye on the crowd.
"Do I hear a package of cheese?" Came the auctioneer.
"I'll buy her for a pallet of cheese and a case of wine!" shouted a goat who stood close to the stage
"What kind of wine?" asked the rat.
"White!"
"Oh I couldn't! White wine is outlawed here."
"Fine, then red!"
"But I don't even like wine," the auctioneer whined, and then the crowd began to fight over those who liked wine and those who didn't.
Grail began to growl. The auction was going nowhere fast at this point so he returned to Alice's side to remind the crowd what they were gathered here for.
"Now listen up! This nice young lady was kind enough to wear trousers today, so I think you should all take that into account!" He barked at the crowd. "Now how about we restart the bidding at their tea rations."
"Tea?!" Alice asked as she put her back to the crowd to face the wolf. "You can't sell me for Tea! Why, you can't sell me at all! I am not for sale! I am a friend of The White Queen, Champion of Underland, I am-"
"Um, from Umbridge," stated a soft male voice.
Alice froze at the sound. Unsure if she wanted to confirm her fears herself but she didn't have to make that choice for the man was already at her back. His gloved hands on her shoulders and his breath on her hair.
"Did you miss me?" Came the cold and cruel voice she had all but forgotten. A shiver ran down her spine which made him chuckle before he pulled her aside to end up in the grasp of two guards, dressed much like chess pieces, clad in black.
Grail shrank back, as did the vulture, only the Rat stood tall on its chair.
"Bow for The King! Long live the Black Crown!" wailed the rat before bowing himself.
"Long live the Black Crown! Hail King Stayne. Hail!" Echoed the crowd.
Stayne now moved forward to address the crowd, Alice now in full view for him. The two began to inspect one another.
What Alice saw was a ghost and a grim reminder of the worst parts of Under. His form towering over her she could see that his raven hair had grown longer, falling just past his shoulders, his skin as pale as ever and the subtle emotions he wore were still that of the cat who ate the canary. The only thing that really changed in her eyes as far as she could tell was that he wore all black, not a single trace of red in his elegant, yet battle-ready attire. The patch that covered his eye was no longer in the shape of a heart, but a black spade.
While Alice took her time observing him, Stayne made a fairly quick inspection, concluding that it was indeed Alice before him. He also took into account the damage done to her.
"Unfortunately for you all, she is right... You can not sell her, because she belongs to me." He announced to the crowd which caused a few members of the audience to gasp and whispered curses on the loss of a perfectly good auction. "I should very much like to… Thank those responsible for returning her to me."
The crowd now all began to chatter, all questioning who caught their king's possession, but it was answered with a shout from the back and the two responsible came forward, heads held high. Walrus and Carpenter made their way onto the stage, kneeling before Stayne.
"Your highness!" They said in unison, but now The Walrus took the lead, standing up as The Carpenter still knelt.
"Your Highness, I! I mean WE! We found this girl floating out in the middle of the sea! And the girl, well we didn't know who she was or where she was from."
"I see. So you intended to sell something that you knew wasn't yours to begin with…" The once was Knave of Hearts sneered. At a loss for words, The Walrus bowed his head in shame as The Carpenter jumped to his feet.
"But My King! Had we known we would have brought her right to you. We swear it!" Piped the simple man. Stayne cocked his eyebrows as the odd pair before letting out a light sigh.
"I suppose, the two of you didn't know any better." He initially conceded, his eye glancing over to Alice, who was still looking over the scene with concern and confusion. "However," Stayne continued going over to the girl, his gloved hand now on her face. "This. This is unforgivable. Damaging my property is punishable by death! Her face truly was her best feature and you've gone and bashed her pretty little head in. Seize them." He ordered releasing Alice from his hold and five guards moved in on the pair, subduing them without much of a fight, dragging them from the playhouse.
Moving to the wolf, Stayne had his hand on the hilt of his sword. His dark eye showed much anger. He opened his mouth as though he were to tell the creature to say his last words.
"Now, you listen to me, you mangy mutt," hissed the man who stood over Grail. "She was never here, understand? Do not seek out a reward or even think of getting something over on me with her. If I so much as hear of her presence being known here I'll-"
"We never saw her!" He yelped, throwing his paws up in defeat. The thin man smiled before his eyes went to the vulture. A rat was nothing to worry about, but a bird. Now they could cause much damage with little delay.
"Bird! What is that girl's name?" Stayne asked pointing back at Alice, who was now beginning to come out of her paralyzed state. Her eyes now focused on the bird as well.
"She- her name? I-" He swallowed hard searching for the answer in the floorboards beneath him. "Alice. Yes! She said her name was Al-"
Alice watched in horror as Stayne withdrew his blade and sliced the bird's head clean off from his shoulders. With a sickening thud the severed head rolled across the floor and stopped at her feet, the tongue hanging out from the bird's busted beak. With the body still standing, Stayne plucked a single feather from one of its wings to clean the blood from his sword still glaring at the wolf.
"I hope we understand each other." Stayne said calmly as he flicked the bloody feather aside just as Faust's body crumpled to the ground. Grail gave a glance to Alice then looked back to Stayne giving him a nod before retreating from the stage. Grinning, Stayne returned his blade to its sheath as he observed the crowd clearing out from the auditorium. When his eye fell upon Alice he approached her once more.
"I'm quite… Disappointed." Stayne began, looking her over. "I would have thought that for someone who could defeat the Jabberwocky, they could have at least looked out for themselves in The Outlands." He taunted
"The Outlands?" Alice asked, somewhat relieved that her Underland hadn't gone completely mad. "But you- you were banished? How can this be? If you are a- a king then, The Red Queen? You were-?!"
"Hush now, my little wildflower.," Stayne grinned at the hopeless former champion. "You have no need to worry about her. She is dead."
"So, you have killed her too?" Alice choked back, unsure of what her fate was now. Being sold sounded more pleasing than the company of the Knave with each passing moment.
"I, unfortunately, could not hold that pleasure. For you see, Mirana, robbed me of that honor." He said holding up his right wrist to show the cuff of the very manacle that once bound him to Iracebeth.
"It was just before we went to the border that your beloved queen put a curse on us. After my failed attempt of killing her following the battle of the Frabjous Day the woman must have realized I would try again. Out here I may have succeeded, but she made it so we could not harm one another." He muttered as he eyed the empty playhouse.
"As much as I would like to continue feeding your infamous curiosity, I would prefer to do it in private, cooed the pale man, his gloved hand now on her face again, Alice pulled away by instinct but did not evade the grasp.
"I'd be lying if I said I did not like that you are still so willing to fight," He purred, which made the young woman's stomach turn. He chuckled before releasing her once more. "But you reek of the salt of the sea, and I grow weary of town. You'll be bathed, and your wounds will be tended to as well. We have much to discuss, Um." He called walking away from her and his men. "So very much indeed." He whispered once out of earshot.
With that his men followed, taking the newest prisoner with them out of the theater.
While Alice was unaware of her current predicament The Oraculum knew well of her return and of the events that would come to play.
The Oraculum sat, untouched since the Frabjous Day, alongside it sat The Vorpal sword, both placed beside the White Queen's throne just where they belonged. Entering the great white hall was a man who looked very out of place.
Where there was an absence of emotion and color in the architecture, this man made more than enough for it with his luminous green eyes, flaming orange hair that was as untamed and as wild as he. His outfit displayed nearly every color in the spectrum.
Tarrant Hightopp had become a busy bee since the slaying of the Jabberwocky and the banishment of the bloody big head. He filled his days with making the loveliest hats for his queen and the members of her court. Most were never worn as they were far too flashy and gotti for their appetite, but in private Mirana praised the hatter.
In truth, he only worked so much so that it could help him forget. Or was it to help him remember? He couldn't say for sure but he was as mad as ever.
He held bundles of new and exciting fabrics that he was sure to please the White Queen, as well as Chess. His un-birthday was coming up and he wanted to make it the cat's best un-birthday yet with his very own hat.
Tripping over his own two feet, the hatter fell to the floor and sent the rolls of fabric spiraling through the air, knocking over the stand which held the legendary scroll.
Cursing his clumsiness Tarrant picked himself up from the ground and dusted himself off, but not a single speck of dirt was found. The White kingdom was the cleanest place in all of Underland, if anything he should have dusted the area in which he fell.
Muttering to himself in outlandish dialect he began to recollect the fabrics one by one until he took a hold of the scroll of parchment. Frowning at the texture it took him all but a moment for him to realize what it was, dropping the other rolls to restore the Oraculum to its proper place.
He moved to place the stand upright when he spied the calendar date that was open for him to see. His eyes surveyed the picture drawn out and he was at a loss for words. His hands shook as he reached for the picture of the woman drawn with the most splendid curls that no ribbon could ever compete with. At least not in his book.
"Alice," He whispered. He knew he was a mad man, but he had no idea if he was imagining this moment or not. On so many occasions he had seen Alice.
In the garden painting flowers, at his table sharing a cup of tea, in the ball room dancing with the White Queen, riding the Bandersnatch on the trail to his neverending tea party. He would never fess to anyone about this, but he had even seen her in his dreams as well. He however never expected to see her again, even though she had told him she would be back before he knew it. But he knew it now with the Oraculum in his grasp. The drawing began to change again, his eyes tracing each line that was made, hope swelling within him until the picture was finished to a scene that made his eyes turn orange with specks of red and his chest seize up.
Alice stood before an altar in a beautiful gown with the saddest face he had ever seen. Alongside Alice, placing a ring on her finger was the cowardly worm, the Knave of Hearts who couldn't look more pleased. Very much like the predator he was.
"Oh no ye do't ye one ey' beasty of a man. Ye shan't be taking me Alice. Not while I still 'ave a say en it." He spat straightening himself out and ran off in search of Mirana. She had to know of their champion's return, and the fate that needed to be stopped.
