Chapter 12
[Forest—A Turn of the Hourglass Later]
Merlin pressed down the forest road. Surroundings blurred. Trees passed by in a flash. Hooves flashed in Sol's light. Horse's legs devoured Distance with each length. Despite previous experiences, Arthur's attitude cut him to the core. Hopes lay crushed beneath Hate's heavy boot. Aspirations for Albion seemed out of reach. Tears stung at his eyes….
…Arthur still couldn't see magic as anything other than demonic and wrong. Double Standard defined his outlook. He persecuted sorcerers and the old religion's followers. He and the knights had violated shrines. He'd attacked innocents in Policy's name. He'd forced Merlin and others to live a lie….
…a lie…
Numbness dulled Merlin's wits at that point. Past Life's weight pressed down on his shoulders. Loss to himself and damage done to others buzzed through his personal fog bank. Guilt registered despite reduced response. Unicorn's near death, Morgana's ignored cries for help, the Cup of Life's misuse, Freya's and Nimue's deaths all threatened to swamp him in their mutual quagmire.
Above and behind him, Compatriots kept pace. Malodius remained a horse length behind Merlin. Mithian, Gawain and Britomart rode their own horses hard. Josiane's carpet and Kilgarrah flew overhead. Intention planned for Leisure's ride. Instead, they received Endurance's run.
Mithian, for her part, attempted to call out over their link. Merlin's tempest smashed against her own sensibilities. His pain stabbed at her heart. Royal Business and Kingdom's Affairs could wait for Afternoon's passage or even Day's entire run for that matter.
Balances…Kingdom vs. Individual…Royal vs. Spouse….
Father will set Arthur straight! He will not allow Merlin to endure that abuse! Whatever Father's planning, I hope it will get through to Arthur! Mithian stewed over Arthur's words. Sheer Ingratitude continued to eat at her. Desperation spurred her on as she did her horse. She'd allowed Merlin to maintain hope. Despite Nemeth's and Camelot's diplomatic issues, she wanted him to remain friends with Arthur. Dream held for Interkingdom Peace to come from that bond.
Gone now…crushed by Prejudice and Abuse….
"MERLIN! HEY, MATE! STOP! WE AIN'T ARTHUR!" Gawain bellowed from further back. "BLOOD LION! HEY! CAN YOU CATCH HIM?"
Malodius narrowed his eyes at Gawain's request.
Sir Gawain cares as much as any of us, Great One. He wishes for Merlin to stop this chase. The Pendragon goes too far. How I wish Merlin would understand that his life in Camelot is over, Kilgarrah hovered high overhead.
Aye, Kilgarrah. Malodius glanced back toward Mithian. Shall I intercept him?
Aye! We all need to talk. Thank you. Mithian huffed through clenched teeth. She'd have turned around and returned to Whitgate than maintain this pace. Reassurance would ease Merlin's mind. Insistence would set focus on Nemeth and its future. Support would allow Merlin to embrace his legacy.
As his Princess, Partner and Wife, Mithian wasn't about to allow him any choice in the matter. Patience had frayed to its breaking point. She'd allowed Arthur no further abuse. Merlin! MERLIN! Please stop! It's all right!
Mithian's entreaty yanked Merlin back to his senses. He pulled up on his horse's reins. He looked around at the surroundings. "Where are we?" He watched the others do the same on horseback and carpet. "This is not where we should be."
Gawain flicked an eyebrow. "You rode your horse well past that point, Mate." Concern flicked an eyebrow. "We got your back."
Merlin nodded. Embarrassment forced him to squirm. "I dragged you all out here?" He bit his lip.
"You reacted to King Arthur's words and attitude, my Prince." Mithian stopped right beside him. Relief eased her mind. "Father has allowed us a chance to gather ourselves. He is lecturing King Arthur right now about respect and gratitude."
"With respect, Milady, I have never seen King Rodor so angry." Britomart bit her lip. Shudder resonated through her. "I imagine he remembered how King Uther was about Lady Reyna and her execution." She bowed her head. "I wouldn't want to see that…even for Princess Josiane or certain other Clot Poles…." Crimson flushed her face.
Gawain rolled his eyes. Smirk spread across his face. "It's okay to say you care, Brit. Ol' Merlin got us out of more messes in Camelot. You'd think Arthur would say thanks. Josie helped against Helios. I stood up for my niece and her guy. She and I have warrants served. After years of being right there, Arthur banished Merlin and Gaius. What a load of bollocks!"
"That is the way of Camelot, my Friends. They turn to magic against other magic. Otherwise, they condemn it and magical beings. Arthur Pendragon only knows that. Uther and others want to destroy what they cannot control. They do not understand magic or how it works. There are ramifications and consequences. Consider Arthur's birth. Uther wanted a son. He compelled Nimue to cast the spell. Uther could not accept the cost. Do you remember, Merlin, when your mother nearly died? It was the same thing. The universe chooses the price and terms not us. Arthur views that as evil." Kilgarrah shook his head.
"Kilgarrah, Arthur cannot help it. He…." Denial started lowering its blinders across Merlin's eyes (yet again). Memoria recalled nearly losing Hunith. He endured losing Freya once again. Mourning and Loss swamped him still further. Hatred and Curse twisted Freya into Cath Palgau. Ragged Breath burned his throat.
"Aye, Merlin. It hurt. Still, you have seen what happens when some try to force their will onto others. I am sorry you have to experience it this way. To your credit, you never went to extremes as Morgana did. Still, you allowed yourself to be blinded to Arthur's extremes. Now, you have to break away from that. The question is will Arthur rule for all or just those who think as he does?" Kilgarrah bowed his head.
Well put. Malodius rubbed up against Merlin's side. King Rodor will expect you to think of everyone.
"Merlin, you have a warm heart. You live to serve. You accept different beings. That sets you apart from Arthur Pendragon. Aye, he wants to be your friend. Friends do not treat each other as he did us at Hampton. Friends do not talk about one another as he did in Master Wyngate's chamber. Friends do not spit on loyal servants such as Uncle Gawain, Boeve or you." Josiane shook her head.
"Listen to Josie and the dragon there…" Gawain started.
"My name is Kilgarrah, Sir Gawain. Perhaps, you might use it." Kilgarrah allowed his pointed glance to relax. "Now, as you were saying…."
Gawain frowned. "As Kilgarrah and Josie said, you're my best mate. You didn't think I was going to stick around Camelot without you being there? Percy's a lot happier with Blanche than with Arthur. Can't wait for him to be back with us again at Solstice. Look, it's a lot easier to be allowed to be who you're supposed to be not what someone else wants you to be." He shot Britomart a knowing look.
Britomart coughed. "Maybe if someone would behave, others would not have to be that way. This is supposed to be about Prince Merlin not you, Clot Pole!" Exasperation ground her teeth and streaked Crimson across her face.
"Britomart, it is all right." Mithian put her hands up. "Sir Gawain makes a good point. You are as well. It is true that we all have to behave within socially acceptable standards. Still, on some level, others have to accept who and what we are. King Arthur wants Prince Merlin back as he was. That is not happening. He wants Prince Merlin to give up his magic. How can he give up a piece of himself like that? Why should he have to be ashamed of his magic? It cannot just be what Camelot expects. Rather, it will be up to all of Britannia." She put her hand on Merlin's forearm. "You are my Prince, husband and sorcerer. King Arthur can deal with that. Father will tell him that."
"I was afraid of that. Arthur will listen but King Rodor might as well be talking to the wall." Merlin grimaced. "Arthur will insist…"
Mithian shook her head. "Then, King Arthur is the idiot not you! He has no army but a few untrained knights. His advisors age and rush toward death. I wonder how many refugees hide from Camelot in the Gedref? How many did Uther drive away with his hate? There are so many good things we can accomplish if we all work together! Father will remind him of that as well."
Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. "Too bad both Arthur and King Rodor claim the Gedref. There'd be a place for those sorcerers and followers of the old religion to settle." He noted Mithian's smile. "What?"
Approval and Agreement sparkled in Mithian's eyes. "There now! And you get down on yourself? My Prince, you should have more confidence. That is a wonderful idea. Perhaps, we should get back to Whitgate and the court? I believe Father should hear Prince Merlin's idea." She mounted her own horse. Lady?
I hear you, Mithian of Nemeth. I agree. Hold still. Once the mists withdraw, you will find yourselves closer to Whitgate, the goddess agreed.
Mists deepened once more in spite of Day's hour. Cloying Wisps enveloped Merlin and his companions. Once more, Distance fell away. Only a few sands fell through the hourglass. Mist's retreat revealed the same road albeit a league or so from Whitgate.
"Now, we ride back." Mithian spurred her horse down the path toward the citadel. Business awaited….
Merlin bit his lip. The proposal made sense. The question was would Arthur think so.
Therein lay the rub….
