AN: I do NOT own Twilight, nor any of the other books in the saga. They are owned by Stephenie Meyer. All I wanna do is just give my take on a different relationship. The 1st chapter is definitely very similar to Stephenie's version of New Moon, with only a few subtle differences. The major changes will start taking place in or after chapter 2. this is my 1st fanfic, so please be kind, but truthful in any review given. Also, please bear with me as I learn how to properly get these uploaded and shared.
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Chapter 1
18th Birthday
September 13th...oh joy, another birthday. I've never really cared about birthdays before, but ever since I started dating Edward, my aging has definitely become an issue. Edward's vampirism means he is forever going to be 17. But my current birthday makes me 1yr older than him, at least in physical years; after all, he is actually over 100yrs old now. I want to be with him forever, but don't want to be any older than him than I am right now. The nightmare I had last night definitely didn't help matters any. Dreaming you're your grandma while your forever 17yr old boyfriend hugs you, kisses your cheek, and wishes you yet another happy birthday, would freak-out any girl, in all honesty. I just have a little more reason to freak-out than most. If it were up to Edward, that horrible nightmare would become my reality. I want nothing more than to spend all eternity with him, but he wants me to stay a fragile human.
It's almost time for school and I can't help the smile that slowly comes to my lips, even as slight as it is, as I think about Edward coming to pick me up. I can't help but smile whenever I think about him being with me anyway. His gorgeous bronze hair, his tall and leonine frame, his cute lopsided grin when he looks at me, and his gorgeous eyes...though, in all transparency here, I do find Carlisle's eyes to be the ones that hold me more captivated by their beauty. I'm not exactly sure why that is, after all, the whole family basically has that same honey-gold/ochre color to their eyes. Maybe it just has to do with Carlisle's innate compassion and the fact that out of all of them, he could pass for human the easiest since he spends most of his time as a doctor for our town's little hospital. That, and maybe because he is the only one who hasn't actually drank any human blood to affect his eyes. Anyway, with Edward arriving shortly, I had to finish getting dressed quickly. He usually arrived shortly after Charlie, my dad, left for his job as the chief of police here in our little rinky-dink town of Forks, Washington, and I could hear him downstairs bustling around grabbing some toast. I knew he'd be about to don his gun belt and his jacket any minute now. I was surprised then, when I heard him snap his fingers and rush upstairs. Just after I managed to finish pulling my sweater down over the top of my skinny jeans, I heard him knock on my door.
"Hey Bells, is it ok if I come in?" he called through the door.
"Sure Dad." I replied while pulling my thick hair out from the confines of my sweater. When he entered, he had this sheepish look on his face, and then I noticed his hands behind his back. When he started to pull one hand out from behind his back, I grimaced as I moaned "Dad…I said no presents."
He just grinned and said "I couldn't help it Bells. Happy birthday! Your mom and I coordinated...well she coordinated me. This is from your mom." He handed me a decorated shirt box tied together with a ribbon. After opening it, I found a beautiful leather bound photo album. Seeing my quizzical look, he started to bring his other hand out. "And this is from me...it's not wrapped so it doesn't really count as a gift anyway." He said with another grin. "Your mother thought it would be great if you used these to document your senior year or whatever. You know...last year at home before you leave for college and all."
At his unsure look, I had to give him a slight smile. I had started thinking of all the things I'd miss once I became a vampire…assuming I could convince Carlisle to change me since Edward seemed extremely adamant about NOT changing me, for my own good. "Thanks Dad. This is actually really perfect actually."
After another quick, "Happy birthday Bells." Charlie gave me a quick hug and then had to run off downstairs to grab his gun belt and sling it on really quick before grabbing his travel mug of coffee and sling his jacket over his arm.
As he walked out the door, I heard him call out to me, "Hey Bella, looks like Edward is here to pick you up." After that I heard a muffled greeting from Edward to him, which made me assume that Charlie just nodded at him in his rush to hit the road.
Looking at the clock I murmured "Crap!" under my breath. I was gonna be late if I didn't hurry. Though riding with Edward, I'd highly doubt I'd be late to ANYTHING, especially since he loved to drive at literal breakneck speeds. He usually slowed down, at least a little, when I was riding with him since he knew it scared me to be going so fast. I knew his reflexes were a million times off the charts, but I still couldn't help the grimace if I ever caught a look at the speedometer or looked out any view other than the windshield. Any time I had previously tried, had me almost bringing up the contents of my stomach, and I definitely don't like that feeling.
Quickly rushing to the bathroom to brush my hair and then brush my teeth, I chastised myself for not hearing my alarm when it 1 st went off. Quickly finishing my morning routine in the bathroom, I hurried to grab my backpack and ran downstairs as fast as I was safely capable, considering my clumsy nature. Getting downstairs, I happened to find that Edward had been an amazing boyfriend and poured me a glass of milk and heated up one of the ham and cheese Hot Pockets for my breakfast. I quickly smiled, thanked him, kissed his cheek then proceeded to quickly eat the small meal. Luckily I managed to avoid burning the roof of my mouth in my haste.
Just as I finished, I turned around from putting my glass in the sink to wash later, and found Edward holding my bag already. He grinned as he said, "We'd better leave now before I have to break new speed records to get us to school on time. And ha..."
"Don't you dare finish that sentence Edward!" I nearly yelled as I growled at his attempt to mention my birthday. I couldn't stand to be reminded of my birthday by anyone today, but especially by him.
"But Charlie got wish...mention it before he left for work." He grumbled in reply.
"Charlie's my dad, I don't really have much of an option when it comes to him in that arena. Besides, I had told him the same thing I told you. I can't help it if he went against my wishes, or at the very least, if he succumbed to the directions given to him by Renee." I had to smile inwardly at the thought of my dad trying to ignore directions from my mother. Charlie never seemed to really quit loving Renee. She always seemed to still be able to pull at his heart. It was sad, but also sweet. I just keep hoping he'll find someone else…sooner rather than later. Renee moved on, so should Charlie.
The ride to school was only slightly faster than his normal speed-demon attempts. As such, we managed to make it on time, with a couple minutes to spare before the 1st bell for class. Shortly after arriving, I noticed a very tall black-haired boy leaning against one of the railings. Closer inspection, showed it to be Jacob Black, my best friend from the Quileute nation just 10min outside of Forks. I noticed that he looked even taller and a bit more muscular than the last time I had seen him a month ago during the summer break.
As I approached him, I called out to him, "Jake, what are you doing here?"
He grinned as he ran the short distance left between us and picked me up and twirled me around a bit as we both laughed. Pulling something from his pocket, he smiled at me as he said "Happy birthday Bella…your dad told my dad."
"Jake, thanks, but I can't accept it." I said with a sorrowful smile.
"Yes you can. It's just a simple little trinket that I just ran across at a thrift store and thought you'd enjoy."
The smiling optimism and the hopefulness I saw behind his eyes made my determination start to falter. I told him "OK. Fine." as I took the small package from his hand. When I opened it up, I found a small, yet beautifully intricate dream catcher. It had fluffy feathers hanging down from the bottom that were mix of tannish cream colors. The beads that were in it were mixed of blues, black, and dark purples. There was even a beautiful silver howling wolf charm hanging from a strand at the top so that it would dangle around the center of the hoop.
"Wow Jake. This is really beautiful. Thanks." I told him as I gave him a hug. He blushed, though with his russet skin, he hid it infinitely better than I ever could. "It was no problem. Well, I better get going back to the reservation. See you later Bella." With one final tight hug, he ran off to hop into his Rabbit and speed off to his own school, to which I was sure he was going to be late.
Starting to walk into the school again, I noticed that Edward was upset. "What's the matter?" I asked him.
"How come Jacob Black gets to give you presents and I don't?" he looked sad as he asked.
"Because there's nothing I could possibly ever give you in return. If you gave me something then it would tip the scales in our relationship even more and I just couldn't deal with that." I told him exasperatedly.
"Bella, you give me everything I could ever want...just by breathing."
"I'm nothing compared to you though," I retorted hopelessly.
He just shook his head and asked, "When are you ever going to see yourself clearly?"
I just shook my head at him. This was the beginning of the same old argument we've been having since we basically first got together. He sees me as more than I am and I'm just dumbfounded that he could say such things. I'm just a simple little nobody who just happened to get lucky and catch Edward's attention…at least for now. Heaven only knows how long that will last. Edward did tell me that vampires can be easily distracted. I just hope that I can join him in those distractions, and not be left behind if he ends up being distracted to somewhere else. I just keep praying that I can be enough for him.
On our way into the school, we saw Alice standing by her car looking very excited. I could see Edward out of the corner of my eye with a slight scowl on his face as we approached her.
"Alice, you're going to get me into trouble," Edward said through slightly gritted teeth.
Alice just stuck her little tongue out at him before smirking and looking at me. "Happy birthday Bella!" she almost sang as she leaned in to give me a hug and kiss my cheek.
"Shhhh! Everyone will hear you!" I whispered forcefully at her. I didn't need anyone else wishing me a happy birthday. It was bad enough that the people closest to me knew better and still said it anyway. I didn't need Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, or Tyler Crowley overhearing about it. They would be the ones who would be the biggest culprits in making me extremely embarrassed if they somehow found out it was my birthday.
Ignoring me, she continued "So, what time are you going to come over to the house?"
"What do you mean? I didn't know that I had plans to come over," I replied back.
"You have to come for your birthday party silly," Alice had trilled in her wind chime voice. "I've already seen what you'll wear and you'll just love it! I promise!
"I'll bring her by around 5," Edward replied to her, which made her grin brightly.
"No you won't. I have to work today," I said surprised that Edward had so easily given in to her eager demands.
"Actually, I already called them and talked with Mrs. Newton about it. She's switched your schedule around so that you have tonight off. She's going to work for you instead, and told me to wish you 'happy birthday' for her," Alice quickly informed me.
My job over at Newton's Outfitters wasn't much, but it was a steady job and helped me to put some money into savings that I could use for college, or hopefully for something else since I was desperately hoping for a reason to not be able to go to college for possibly several years. It had also been a great excuse when I wanted to get out of doing things with people when I didn't want to. But, Alice being Alice, took that away from me for tonight with just one call.
"I still have to see Romeo and Juliet," I said, trying feebly to get out of it still.
"You have Romeo and Juliet memorized, and you've already seen the movie. I know you have," Alice had said with a slight pleading to her tone.
"I haven't seen the 1960's version, and Mr. Berty said that that was the best one," I replied. All hope of escaping this party seemed to be dimming by the second.
"If Bella wants to watch a movie, she'll watch a movie. It's her birthday after all," Edward then said with a slight grimace from me. "I'll bring her afterwards, around 7. It'll give you more time to prepare."
Alice squealed with joy at his words and bounced away.
I couldn't help but smile inwardly at Alice's reaction. She was so full of energy and enthusiasm that it was hard to not appreciate just how infectious her bubbly attitude was. At the same time, I couldn't help but get more annoyed with Edward. Yet again, he was making my decisions for me. I probably would've given in to Alice shortly anyway, but he really bugged me that he wouldn't give me a choice in the matter. It was getting to the point where that lopsided little grin of his that I loved so much, started to make me wonder if he was trying to dazzle me intentionally all the time. One look at that grin and it usually made me feel like agreeing to anything. As I look at it on his face now, I still wanted to do anything to keep it there, but I was also beginning to feel a sneaky suspiciousness about it at the same time that I couldn't quite put a name to, so I almost immediately put the thought out of my head. The feeling never fully went away, but I refused to think on it and think ill of my wonderful boyfriend.
As the day progressed, I was glad to find that the rest of my friends, the more normal friends, didn't actually bother to wish me a happy birthday. To which I was very grateful. I had actually assumed that they didn't know and that suited me just fine. I was never good at feigning enthusiasm when I didn't actually like the gifts people gave. It's so hard to find gifts for someone that you don't really know all that well, and most of the time that meant gifts that were not suited well to what I liked or could really even use. It was just easier to say no gifts at all than to do deal with the stress involved in disappointing the gift-giver when I couldn't produce the reaction they were hoping for.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was feeling like school was gonna go by smoothly and not have to worry about anything. But, Alice just made me a little nervous when she snuck up behind me and Edward in the lunch line and asked me quietly, "Do you want your gift now? Or later?"
"How bout never?" I replied.
"I've already seen you open it and you'll love it! Besides, you're going to wear it to the party tonight, so it's not your real gift anyway," Alice trilled off quickly.
"Fine. Later then, after school before Edward and I head back to my house," I resigned.
Alice squealed, "You're gonna love it! Trust me Bella! Can't wait for the party!"
The rest of lunch was much more bearable. Jessica gushing over the date that she and Mike went on, while Angela and Ben talked about how they were going to go to a movie that weekend for their 6th month anniversary. I was keeping my fingers crossed that I could make it the rest of the day. It would only be two more classes after lunch. I could handle that.
Just as I'd been hoping, the rest of the day was smooth sailing! Mr. Berty recommended again that we all watch the 1960's version of Romeo and Juliet in order to fully grasp just how wonderful the play was. He mentioned that the one with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes was indeed entertaining, but all of the modernizations really distracted from the whole romance of the piece.
After the final bell for the day rang, we made our way out to Edward's Volvo. Alice was already there looking excited. She had a large shoulder bag that I was assuming held my gift. I was extremely grateful that she didn't hold the gift out to where everyone could see it. When we got close, she had started bouncing on the balls of her feet in her excitement. I couldn't help but smile at how silly and sweet her antics were. If anyone were to be an expert at giving gifts, it really would be Alice. Though I tried to make it fair all around by saying no gifts from anyone, she was the only one I could never really fear about getting me something I wouldn't like or wouldn't use. I just felt bad because there was nothing I could really get any of the Cullens. They had so much money that they could probably buy a country if they wanted, I could never get them anything that they didn't already have. I just feel insignificant being around them. I was just lucky that they found me at least entertaining enough to want me to be around.
Knowing just how much I dreaded this, Alice was very kind and faster than anyone could possibly see, even though no one was actually looking, she pulled out the shirt-box from her bag and had taken my jacket that I had left at her house a couple days ago and placed it over it. "Here you go sweetie. Just glad you didn't end up needing your jacket till I could remember to return it," she told me when she handed them to me, just as Tyler Crowley was walking by the car. Even if he had seen what was in our hands or heard what was said, nothing would've hinted at what was really going on.
I couldn't help my grin, "Thank you Alice. I'll try to remember to not forget it again in the future." I just chuckled at the whole situation. I quickly leaned in and kissed her cheek and said, "I'll see you later."
We had to stop by the public library on our way to my house. I had called them to find out if they had a copy of the 1960's version of Romeo and Juliet in their collection of movies that get leant out. I was pleasantly surprised when they confirmed that they had it and that it had just in fact been returned just 10 minutes prior.
After we got to my house, Edward quickly got around to open my door for me. He was the consummate romantic. Grabbing my backpack to sling over his own shoulder, he also grabbed my hand to lace our fingers together in one fluid movement. Looking over at my ancient truck, he smiled and said "While you're fixing yourself a snack, I'm going to go take my car back home and be back here in just a few minutes. I figured you'd want to drive to my house tonight for your party."
It felt odd that he'd suggest such a thing. He usually preferred to drive me everywhere I'd let him. "Ok." I said little suspiciously.
As soon as he set my backpack down on the couch, he turned to give me a quick kiss on the cheek and said "I'll be right back."
I didn't even have time to finish pouring my glass of milk after making my sandwich before he was back again and started setting up the TV so that we could watch Romeo and Juliet. He was already leaning back into the couch and ready to hit play when I walked into the living room with my plate and my glass.
We watched in silence for a while. After finishing my sandwich, I noticed that he had had an odd look on his face.
"What are you thinking?" I asked him.
"I have very little patience with Romeo," he answered.
"What's wrong with Romeo?" I asked him stunned. "He's one of my favorite fictional characters."
"Well, in the beginning he's completely in love with this Rosaline, but the instant he sees Juliet he's absolutely head over heals in love with her. Don't you think that makes him rather fickle? Then, shortly after he marries Juliet, he winds up killing her cousin. Not a very brilliant move on his part. Just mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness anymore thoroughly?"
I was gobsmacked by his answer. Sighing, I asked, "Do you want me to watch this alone?"
"No, besides, I'll only be watching you anyway," he said. "Will you cry?"
"Probably," I admitted.
The feel of his lips pressing kisses to my hair in between his quoting Romeo's lines definitely made the whole experience much more enjoyable.
I did cry, much to his amusement, when Juliet had woken to find her dear Romeo laying there dead beside her. Shaking his head a little, he said "I'm just a little bit envious of Romeo here."
Looking slightly crestfallen but not surprised I replied, "I'm not surprised. Juliet is beautiful."
"I don't envy him the girl," he said. Smiling wryly as he shook his head again, he said "I envy the ease of his suicide. You humans have it easy! A little poison, or a dagger to the heart. It's not quite so easy for vampires."
"What are you talking about?" I quickly asked. "Why would you even think about such a thing?"
"It's something I considered once. But I knew from Carlisle's experience that it would be far from easy. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself after he woke and realized what he had become. The beginning of this life was very hard on him." His melancholy voice suddenly became lighter again as he said, "But, he's clearly still in excellent health!"
"What do you mean you considered it once?" I asked him shocked.
"Last spring, when you were taken by James," he growled the name. "I didn't think I'd make it to you in time to save you. If I hadn't I would've done whatever it took to join you soon after. I just couldn't live in a world without you."
"Aren't you being a bit melodramatic right now?" I asked him. "You're going to live in that world some day anyway…if you get your way and I never get changed. One day I'll get old and die. You'll just go on living life the way you used to. You'll forget all about me."
"I'd just find a way to join you soon after," he replied.
I just couldn't understand it. How could he say that he loved me, and yet not want to be with me for forever? My heart was starting to really ache thinking that he was just full of words. Once I got old enough to look like his mother, he definitely wouldn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. There's no way that I could last in his life to being as old as my gran like I was in my dream last night. He'd definitely ditch me long before then. I just had to take what I could get while I could. I'd go crazy the instant I lost him, but especially if that meant losing his family too, which it most likely would.
