AN: I do not own Twilight, nor any other book in the saga! They belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Sorry, this took longer than what I was hoping. I couldn't decide how I wanted to make changes as of yet. I decided to go with ALMOST a straight copy of the conversation between Bella and Carlisle was stitching her arm. But here is definitely the beginning of the major changes to come. Reviews are welcome. Would love to know what you guys think how my writing is. I know right now it's mostly been a summary type situation of the book as it was, but still curious. Enjoy!
...
Chapter 3
Stitches
Carlisle was the only one to remain calm. The only one whose eyes were still gold like flowing honey. Taking a calm, yet authoritative voice of control Carlisle said, "Emmett, Rose, get Jasper out of here. Take him far enough away that it'll be safe for him to hunt. Help him get his control back."
After he'd said that, I watched as Emmett, aided by Rosalie, dragged Jasper out the back door and into the forest behind the house. Emmett's usual grin was missing. I watched in dismay as I saw Esme hold her hand over nose and mouth, looking as if she would be crying if she could, apologize as she too, ran quickly from the house.
After their quick departure, Carlisle walked slowly towards me, hands raised and palms out. "Let me by Edward."
With daggers still in his eyes, Edward looked to be fighting to stay where he was. Like he could easily attack me because of his bloodlust, or attack anyone else that got too close to me. It was hard to tell for sure if he was guarding me, or his food with the intensity of his set jaw. He glared at Carlisle for a few seconds and then softened his gaze and stepped a little to the side. I was so glad that it was protection of me behind it, or at least the protection of me won that war that he had been fighting in his head. Right as Carlisle got to me, Alice came running up with a towel from the kitchen. "Here, use this to help stem the flow."
"No," he said as he was looking at the damage done to my arm. "There's too much crystal in the wound." Just then he reached behind me and I heard him rip some fabric. Apparently he tore a long thin piece from the tablecloth. He then used the piece as a make-shift tourniquet high on my upper arm. It didn't take long for the blood to stop flowing. Looking me calmly in the eyes, he said "Bella, sweetheart, this is a very deep wound. It's going to need cleaning and stitches. Would you like me to take you to the hospital, or would you prefer if I took care of it here instead?"
Choking it out due to the shock, I answered, "Here…please. If we go to the hospital…they'll just call Charlie, and I don't want him to worry."
"Ok then," he said.
Just then, Alice came running up with his black medical bag in hand.
"Edward, help me get her to the kitchen. It'll be easier at the table."
Edward stooped to lift me effortlessly, still holding his jaw set tightly and trying not to grimace too much, which allowed Carlisle to keep his focus on the right amount of pressure on my wounded left arm and to keep any of the jostling that might've happened from further damaging my arm from the embedded shards.
"How are you doing Bella?" Carlisle asked. Ever so considerate of his constant patient that was me.
"I'm fine." I was pleased that my voice was quickly getting back to its normal steadiness.
Alice beat us there and had already placed his bag on the table with a crystal bowl, a desk lamp that was plugged in and lit already, and a bottle of something that I couldn't quite focus on enough to really make out. Not that I really wanted to focus on anything since that would've unavoidably included the smell of the blood. It was better to just let my mind wander to random thoughts elsewhere.
While Edward set me down into a chair, Carlisle pulled up another and started to work immediately by ripping the sleeve of my shirt along the torn section all the way to the cuff and to the seam at my shoulder where he then tore it along the seam to completely remove it. Looking up at Edward, I could see the pained look on his face while he remained unbreathing. He was still protective…overprotective yet again. At least the internal battle seemed to finally truly be over. I really couldn't understand why he was being so overprotective at the moment though. If I hadn't seen Alice slip out of the room already with a tiny apologetic smile on her lips I wouldn't have known she would've been gone, but it was just me, Carlisle, and Edward now. I was safer with Carlisle than anyone could ever be with someone. Carlisle could NEVER hurt me. He was just too good of a person to do that. He was perfectly in control. He was perfect.
"Just go Edward. Stop being so masochistic. I'm fine. Carlisle has this. No one else is here." I sighed and shook my head.
I winced as Carlisle did something that made my arm sting. A shot of something probably.
"I'll stay. I can handle it," he said with his jaw still ridged.
"Why are you being so stubborn about this? Go. Get some fresh air. I'm perfectly safe. Carlisle has got this covered. No one is coming back to hurt me. I'm fine."
Deciding to step in, Carlisle quickly said, "Go Edward. Go find Jasper before he gets too far. He's probably halfway to Canada by now. I'm sure he's beyond upset with himself about everything. You're undoubtedly the only person he'll listen to. It wasn't his fault."
"Yes, go find Jasper. Tell him I'm not mad. Tell him I understand. Tell him there's nothing to forgive and to come home SOON! It was a stupid accident. It was my fault for being distracted. Go do something useful. Please!" I was begging him now, and I seriously hoped it would work. He didn't need to stick around and torture himself…and me for that matter. It pained me to see the look on his face right now.
"Fine. I'll be back later," he said in a huff as he quickly ran out the door.
I could finally breathe knowing that he was able to breathe again. I knew how uncomfortable it was for him to have to hold his breath for so long. At least I remembered how he had described it when he told me about how it was. He had to have been holding his breath since he first caught the faint whiff of my blood when I sliced my finger.
I finally felt this numb feeling that I hadn't noticed earlier. It had started from where I felt that sting earlier and spread all the way to my fingertips. It was oddly pleasant, especially since I could now pay attention to the other things going on around me, now that I had stopped arguing with Edward. That's when I noticed these subtle plink plink noises. Looking over, I noticed that it came from the shards of crystal that Carlisle was meticulously pulling out of my arm and dropping into the crystal bowl next to us. I was so glad that I couldn't really feel him working on my arm, just the slightest tugs while he worked.
Desperately needing to focus on anything else, I started talking to him. "Well…that's everyone. I can sure clear a room at least." I said wryly.
Chuckling lightly, Carlisle said, "It's not your fault. This could happen to anyone." His smile was disarmingly comforting.
"Could," I said. "But it usually happens to me. I seem to be the person in every statistic that things 'happen to' whenever something does happen."
He laughed again.
His calmness was a complete 180 from everyone else's reactions, such a huge contrast, it astounded me. Looking at his face, staring at it really, I could see no sign of tension or discomfort. He truly was a marvel to behold. He never stopped breathing throughout the whole dramatic mess. I was in complete awe of the man sitting in front of me. He just took everything in stride so peacefully. The only sounds were the soft plink, plink, plink from the steadily growing pile of shards in the crystal bowl and the steady, easy breathing from both of us. In a situation such as this, that should've sent someone over the edge and into hysterics, his calm and steady demeanor kept me at ease. I couldn't help but stare at this beautiful man, who looked more like a model or an actor than a doctor. I just could never be more grateful that he was a doctor than at moments like this, moments when I needed the calm and sweetness he exuded while also being a true medical professional. He really did have a way that kept me at ease effortlessly.
"How…how can you do this? How come this is so easy for you? It seems like I'm the greatest dessert for everyone…but you…you just sit there as if you're not even a vampire at all. Even Alice and Esme…" I trailed off, shaking my head at the wonder and amazement of it all.
"Years and years of practice," he said with a smile.
"Do you think it would be harder if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time? And weren't around any blood?"
"Maybe." He said shrugging his shoulders, yet his hands remained as steady as ever while he continued to work. "I've never really felt the need for an extended holiday. It's not like I need the rest." With a brief pause, he looked up with an award winning brilliant smile and winked at me. "Besides, I enjoy my work too much."
Plink, plink, plink. I was surprised at how much crystal there seemed to be in my arm. I was tempted to glance at the growing pile, just to check the size, but I knew that idea would not be helpful to my no-vomiting strategy.
"What is it that you enjoy so much about it?" I couldn't help but be curious. To start down that path, he would've had to have had YEARS of struggle and self-denial to get to the point where he could withstand the temptations of the bloodlust and endure so much. Besides, I wanted to keep him talking; the conversation was successfully keeping my mind off the horrible queasiness in my stomach at the moment.
His liquid honey gold eyes were calm and thoughtful for a moment while he contemplated my question. "Hmmm. What I enjoy the very most is when my…enhanced abilities let me save someone who would otherwise have been lost. It's pleasant knowing that, thanks to what I can do, some people's lives are better because I exist. Even the sense of smell is a useful diagnostic tool at times." One side of his mouth pulled up in a half smile.
I mulled that over while he poked around, making sure all the glass splinters were gone. Then he rummaged in his bag for new tools, and I tried not to picture the needle and thread that he would surely be using next.
"You try very hard to make up for something that was never your fault," I suggested while a new kind of tugging started at the edges of my skin. "What I mean is, it's not like you asked for this. You didn't choose this kind of life, and yet you have to work so HARD to be good."
"I don't know that I'm making up for anything," he disagreed lightly. "Like everything in life, I just had to decide what to do with what I was given."
"You make it sound far too easy."
He examined my arm again. "There," he said, snipping a thread. "All done." He wiped an oversized Q-tip, dripping with some syrup-colored liquid, thoroughly across the operation site. The smell of it, maybe iodine, made my head spin. Whatever it was, it stained my skin.
"In the beginning, though," I pressed while he taped another long piece of gauze securely in place, sealing it the edges of it completely to my skin. "Why did you even think to try a different way than the obvious one?"
His lips turned up into a private smile. "Hasn't Edward told you this story?" He seemed happy that I was continuing to ask about his personal past though. Like he really did want to share it with me himself, but didn't want to push it on me.
"He did, but I want to know what was going through your mind at the time. Plus I want to hear your recollection." I said with a smile. "Edward has a habit of leaving certain things out when he tells me things." I couldn't help but blush a little at the reply I gave him. The look on his face was sort of questioning. Maybe he was wondering what it was that Edward had told me, but that I could guess hadn't been the whole story. Maybe he was wondering what I would be thinking when – I refused to think IF – it was me.
He nodded, and then he started in with his story. "You know that I was the son of an Anglican pastor," he mused as he cleaned the table carefully, rubbing everything down with alcohol soaked gauze, and then doing it again. The smell of the alcohol burned my noise. "He had a rather harsh view of the world, which I was already beginning to question before the time that I changed. He condemned so many people for one thing or another without really taking the chance to get to know them himself first." Carlisle put all the dirty gauze into the bowl with the crystal slivers. I was already so caught up in him, in his story, that I was surprised when he lit a match and threw it onto the alcohol soaked fibers. I had jumped at the sudden blaze. It took a minute for me to realize that he was getting rid of the smell of the blood.
"Sorry," he apologized. "That ought to do it…So I didn't agree with my father's particular brand of faith. But never, in the nearly 400 years now since I was born, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form or the other. Not even the reflection in the mirror."
I pretended to examine the dressing on my arm to hide my surprise at the direction our conversation had taken. Religion was the last thing I expected, all things considered. My own life was fairly devoid of belief. My parents never really showed that much interest in church, so I never really went to one. Charlie considered himself a Lutheran, because that's what his parents had been, but he spent Sundays worshipping God through admiring nature down by the river with a fishing pole in his hand. Renée tried out a church now and then, usually after someone had come along and knocked on the door to spread the 'good word' along, but, much like her brief affairs with tennis, pottery, yoga, and French classes, she moved on by the time I was aware of her latest fad.
"I'm sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire." He grinned, knowing how their casual use of that word never failed to shock me. "But I'm hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. It's a long shot, I'll admit," he continued in an offhand voice. "By all accounts, we're damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that we'll get some measure of credit for trying."
"I don't think that's foolish," I said aghast. I couldn't imagine anyone, deity included, who wouldn't be impressed by Carlisle. Besides, the only kind of heaven that Icould appreciate would have to include the whole Cullen family. "And I don't think anyone else would, either."
"Actually, you're the very first one to agree with me."
"The rest of them don't feel the same?" I asked, surprised, thinking of one person in particular…the one who refused to change me because he was saving me or my soul or something like that.
"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist…and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out of the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks that this is our afterlife, that we've lost our souls."
"That's the real problem, isn't it?" I guessed. "That's why he's being so difficult about me. He's mentioned saving my soul before."
Carlisle spoke slowly. "I look at my…son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of him – and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"
I nodded, but added "How could there not be more for one such as yourself as well. I know Edward is ashamed of his past, but YOU have never done anything but help people. You've never killed anyone. All you've ever done is save as many lives as you possibly can."
"But, if I believed as he does…" He looked down at me with unfathomable eyes. "If you believed as he did. Could you take away HIS soul?"
The way he phrased the question thwarted my answer. If he'd asked me whether I would risk my soul for Edward, the reply would be obvious. But would I risk Edward's soul? I pursed my lips unhappily. That wasn't a fair exchange.
"You see the problem."
"But it's still my choice what happens to my soul potentially," I insisted.
"It's his choice too." He held up his hand when he could see that I was about to argue. "Whether he is responsible for doing that to you."
"He's not the only one able to do it." I eyed Carlisle speculatively.
He laughed and shook his head, abruptly lightening the mood. "Oh, no! As long as you two are together, you're going to have to work that out with HIM." But then he sighed. "That's the one part I can never be sure of. I THINK, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide"
I didn't answer. I imagined what my life would be like if Carlisle had resisted the temptation to change his lonely existence…and shuddered. I couldn't bear to think about what my life would be missing without one or more of the Cullens here in my life.
"It was Edward's mother who made up my mind." Carlisle's voice was almost a whisper. He stared unseeingly out the black windows.
"His mother?" Whenever I'd asked Edward about his parents, he would merely say that they had died long ago, and his memories were vague. I realized Carlisle's memory of them, despite the brevity of their contact, would be perfectly clear.
"Yes. Her name was Elizabeth. Elizabeth Masen. His father, Edward Senior, never regained consciousness in the hospital. He died in the first wave of the influenza. But Elizabeth was alert until almost the very end. Edward looks a great deal like her – she had that same strange bronze shade to her hair, and her eyes were exactly the same color green."
"His eyes were green?" I murmured, trying to picture it.
"Yes…" Carlisle's ocher eyes were a hundred years away now, reliving his story with perfect recollection. "Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. When the end came for her, it was very quick. It was just after sunset, and I'd arrived to relieve the doctors who'd been working all day. That was a hard time to pretend – there was so much work to be done, and I had no need of rest. How I hated to go back to my house, to hide in the dark and pretend to sleep while so many were dying." Tears would've been in his eyes right now, if he could cry, as he remembered the horrors of those who had suffered so much.
"I went to check Elizabeth and her son first. I'd grown attached – always a dangerous thing to do considering the fragile nature of humans. I could see at once that she'd taken a bad turn. The fever was raging out of control, and her body was too weak to fight anymore." The anguish of not being able to help her was evident on his face as he continued his story.
"She didn't look weak though, when she glared up at me from her cot. 'Save him!' she commanded me in the hoarse voice that was all her throat could manage."
"'I'll do everything in my power,' I promised her, taking her hand. The fever was so high, she probably couldn't even tell how unnaturally cold mine felt. Everything felt cold to her skin." He closed his eyes briefly in the frustration he felt.
"'You must,' she insisted, clutching at my hand with enough strength that I wondered if she wouldn't pull through the crisis after all. Her eyes were hard, like stones, like emeralds. 'You must do everything in YOUR power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward.'"
"It frightened me. She looked at me with those piercing eyes, and, for one instant, I felt certain that she knew my secret. Then the fever overwhelmed her, and she never regained consciousness. She died within an hour of making her demand. I'd spent decades considering the idea of creating a companion for myself. Just one other creature who could really know me, rather than what I pretended to be. But I could never justify it to myself – doing what had been done to me. There Edward lay, dying. It was clear that he had only hours left. Beside him, his mother, her face somehow not yet peaceful, not even in death."
Carlisle saw it all again, his memory unblurred by the intervening century. I could see it clearly too, as he spoke – the despair of the hospital, the overwhelming atmosphere of death. Edward, his mother, his father, and all the countless others, all burning with intense fever. I could see Edward as his life was slipping away, like his mother's had not long before, with each tick of the clock…I shuddered again, and forced the picture from my mind.
"Elizabeth's words echoed in my head. How could she guess what I could do? Could anyone really want that for her son? I looked at Edward. Sick as he was, he was still beautiful. There was something pure and good about his face. The kind of face I would have wanted my own son to have if I had ever been so lucky to have had one. After all those years of indecision, I simply acted on a whim. I wheeled his mother to the morgue first, and then I came back for him. No one noticed that he was still breathing. There weren't enough hands, enough eyes, to keep track of half of what the patients needed. The morgue was empty – of the living, at least. I stole him out the back door, and carried him across the rooftops back to my home. I wasn't sure what had to be done. I settled for recreating the wounds I'd received myself, so many centuries earlier in London. I felt bad about that later. It was more painful and lingering than necessary. I wasn't sorry though. I've never been sorry that I saved Edward." He shook his head, coming back to the present. He smiled at me. "I suppose I should take you home now."
"I'll take her," Edward said in a gruff voice. I could tell something was wrong. His eyes were still cold and hard, even though there were back to ochre, they weren't liquid like usual…like Carlisle's always seemed to be. I wanted to give him some more time to adjust to everything and I had still wanted to hear more from Carlisle. I had never really had much of a chance to talk to him.
"Carlisle can take me," I said. I then looked down and as I was getting ready to stand up and started to take note of just how awful I must be looking. My light blue silk shirt was covered in frosting, and was soaked in blood. "Besides, I'm sure Charlie would rather hear from Carlisle about this than to hear my lame excuses again."
"You should change. You'd give Charlie a heart attack if you showed up looking like that."
Alice came around the corner and said, "We really should get you out of something so macabre. At least into something almost the same. Charlie won't notice the difference in the shirts if you use one of Esme's. That bloodied shirt mixed with all that frosting from the cake really doesn't look like a simple accident. At least the skirt and that shoes survived," she chirped as she lead me upstairs. She lead me to one room I'd never been in before and she started going through the closet to find the shirt that would work to fool Charlie.
"This one should do it. It's not exactly the same shade of blue, but it really is close and we can roll up the cuffs once to help give it the look that yours had with the ¾ length. It won't hide all of your bandage, but Charlie will be better off to know tonight that something happened than if you were to try and hide it. He won't react well if you try," Alice said as she handed me Esme's blouse with a knowing look in her eye.
"Ok…if you think that's best," I sighed resignedly.
"Trust me," she said simply as she proceeded to help me carefully remove my now ruined shirt so that I wouldn't undo all the hard work that Carlisle had done to bandage my poor arm. The new shirt was just the teensiest bit bigger than the one Alice had given me, so it helped to ease the task of putting it on after we cleaned up the residual frosting out of my hair and other places.
Before heading back downstairs I had to ask her, "Alice…how is Jasper?"
Sighing, she replied, "He's completely devastated by what he did. He never would've willingly attacked you. He was doing a challenge day to test his control on his bloodlust. I honestly saw no horrible outcomes for tonight or I would've made him feed before the party. It truly took us all by surprise that you got that papercut and had things happen as they did." She was looking down at the floor with what must've been a look of shame on her beautiful pixie face. "Please forgive me Bella!" Her sudden exclamation startled me.
"Alice, there's nothing to forgive. It was a completely random accident. It was probably a snowball effect. Edward and Jasper both got a whiff of my blood. Jasper must've just gotten the hunger feeling from everyone when you all smelled it, but it was probably extremely intense because of how much of a draw I am to Edward. He quite possibly intensified everyone else's hunger accidentally with his power, which then in turn only intensified his own because of how he felt their emotions…just a vicious cycle after bad timing. It's my own stupid fault for being distracted while opening that envelope. If I had been looking at it instead…maybe tonight would've gone so much better. I don't blame ANYONE for what happened. Please tell him that for me. He needs to come home." I paused there for a minute then asked, "When will he be home?"
"He's gone up to Denali to spend some time up there working on his control…I'm actually going to head up there and join him. I really can't be separated from him for too long. But I PROMISE we will be back Bella! I can only see us being gone a few weeks…maybe a month. He's so ashamed. He plans on overfeeding essentially so that he's always full. But he wants the feel of his control back before he even makes the attempt at coming back here. He could never do anything to hurt you again."
"I will miss you like crazy! Both of you. But please, go help him gain that control again quickly so that you both can come home again to where you belong. It won't be the same around here without you. I love you both!"
"Oh Bella! I'm so glad that you came into our family!" Alice squealed as she quickly flung her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek in her excitement. "You truly are a sister to me already! We love you too!" I could tell that she would've had happy tears in her eyes at this point if she was capable of such a thing. It felt so good to see someone so happy after such a sad and rough couple hours.
Heading back downstairs, I could tell that the mood hadn't really changed down here though. The air still seemed really thick. Before making it all the way down the stairs, I noticed the strong smell of bleach. When I reached the bottom, I noticed that Esme was mopping up the floor from all the blood, the icing had already been cleaned up before the bleach came out I assumed.
"Oh Esme, I should do that. Let me," I said as I got closer to her.
"It's fine sweetheart. I'm just about finished anyway. Don't worry about it," Esme replied with her sweet and motherly smile back on her face. It was so good to see her smile again instead of seeing the horrified look she wore when she ran out of here after the accident.
I couldn't help but smile back at her. "Thank you for the loan on the shirt Esme. This definitely doesn't look scary like mine would've looked had I walked in at home wearing that." I chuckled slightly.
Esme just smiled and said "You keep it sweetheart. You won't be able to wear the other one again anyway. It had been a gift, you should have one to replace it."
"Thank you Esme," I said as I went to give her and hug as I cautiously held my left arm so that it wouldn't get bumped too hard by her granite skin. The shot that Carlisle had given me to numb the area had definitely started to wear off.
Edward came up to me and grabbed hold of my right arm a little harder than I would've thought reasonable for any circumstance. It didn't quite hurt, but any firmer and he would've. "Let's go. I'll take you home now," he said.
"No Edward. Carlisle offered to take me. I want to go with him and have him smooth things over with Charlie. Charlie needs to know that I'm ok and not just by my own words. Besides, I wasn't finished talking to Carlisle yet."
"Fine," Edward said. "I'll follow behind so that it won't look suspicious about him not having a car to drive back home with."
His determination to do this his way was getting slightly unnerving. I couldn't understand why he was so adamant about leaving me alone with Carlisle. Was that just today, or was it always like that? Today had been the first time that I had really had a chance to speak with Carlisle one on one, especially with no one else around. Edward seemed to be possessively at my side while I was at his house. I was only ever alone with him or with Alice only. Never was I alone with anyone else. Was that pure luck…or had he actually designed it that way?
Grabbing my clutch, I dug for my keys. I noticed that Alice had replaced the camera back into it and was about to thank her when she came running up and said, "Don't forget your gifts!"
"Thank you Alice," I said as I gave her a kiss on the cheek and hug before I made to grab my gifts. To my surprise, Carlisle already had them all in his hands.
"Allow me," Carlisle said. "I don't think holding all of this would feel good with that injury to your arm at the moment. I'm sure you're starting to feel it now."
I was just dumbfounded at how caring and intuitive he was.
Edward seemed to get a little frustrated with it and said, "I'll take them for her."
"It makes more sense to have them in the truck with me Edward. It's fine," I told him as I placed my hand on Carlisle's, stopping him from handing them to Edward, even as he had his own perplexed look at the situation. There was no sense in him trying to make things more complicated than they had to be.
With a hard look in his eyes, Edward just headed out to his car. Carlisle walked with me out to my truck and held open the door for me to climb in without is falling back towards me due to the slight incline that made my door want to follow gravity's pull. After I climbed in I slid over a little towards the middle and he placed the gifts on the seat next to me before closing my door. Next thing I knew, he was climbing into the driver's side of my truck and bringing it roaring to life.
Sliding over a little more to get a better look at the new stereo that Emmett had installed, I reached my hand out to touch run my fingers over the smooth surface of the edge.
Watching my reaction, Carlisle commented, "It's a lovely looking new stereo. Do you want to listen to anything in particular on our way back to your house so you can test it out?"
"It is a very lovely looking stereo, but no…I don't want to listen to it right now. I feel like we never have a chance to talk, and I was actually enjoying hearing you talk about your past. I actually would like to hear more of it," I had said in reply, not looking at him and hoping that he wouldn't see me blush.
"I'll gladly tell you more. But first, seeing the stereo reminds me, you haven't opened all your gifts yet. You still have one left. Would you like to open that now or later?"
"Now, I think. After all, it was your gift that I failed to finish opening. It would be unfair to have everyone else see me open their gifts but not have you see me open yours." I reached over and picked up the envelope in question and looked at it for a second.
"Here, let me at least open the envelope first. No need for you to get a second papercut tonight," Carlisle said as he reached for it and gave me a wink and a half smile.
"Thank you," I said as he quickly unsealed the pesky envelope and handed it back to me. Looking inside, I was completely floored to see plane tickets to Florida. "Carlisle!" I silently exclaimed!
"I know how much you miss your mother. I thought some time with her would be good. I got a second set of tickets for you as well. That way you could take two trips, or even take someone with you, Edward, Alice, Charlie…or maybe one of your other friends from school. They're yours to use as you see fit," Carlisle said with a sheepish unsure look on his face.
Without thinking, I turned and flung my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek just like Alice and I do. I quickly let go when I realized what I did and blushed to a deep crimson. "Thank you Carlisle. This really means so much to me. I really have missed Renée and she's actually been begging me to visit her." I just couldn't stop shaking my head while smiling. "It's just too much though! Plane tickets are really expensive, especially open ended ones."
Foreseeing where I was heading, with this Carlisle stopped me right there. "Don't worry about it Bella. I make far more money than I could EVER use. Even with Alice and all her shopping sprees." We both laughed at that. He quickly looked out the window towards Edward's car and then put my truck into reverse to start our journey to my house. "I have more than enough to spoil every single person in my family and still have plenty left over to last us for years. Please, don't worry about it sweetheart. You're a member of my family now too. You're just going to have to get used to it. Better to get used to it sooner rather than later," he said with a smile and a wink.
I couldn't help but smile and blush at him. He was too much. He had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. Esme was definitely the luckiest woman alive to be able to call Carlisle hers.
"So…" Carlisle began. "Was there anything in particular that you wanted to ask me while we drove back to your house?"
"Tell me more about your human life. What lead up to that day where you were changed?"
"Not bored with my old stories yet?" he laughed as he questioned me.
"I don't think I could ever get tired of hearing them," I told him honestly.
"My father used to lead raids where he would flush out the vampires and demons of the city. At least that was what he thought he was doing. He never had them right. It was like the old witch hunts in Salem and other places, those that were accused of being something evil, were actually innocent. I could never convince him he was wrong. I was forced to join him on these raids, in order to learn. I hated it with a fierce passion that he continued to condemn the innocent. I never took any of their lives with my own hands, but I helped to capture them. It broke my heart to hear their pleas go on deaf ears. At least when he finally had me lead my own raids, I was able to do what I felt was right. I could see the innocents where he could not. I was far more clever than he was. I was able to let the innocents go and let them know that, at least for the time being that they should take their families and leave. That my father had essentially condemned them to death and that if HE was the one to come after them that they wouldn't make it."
"That must've been so hard, and yet a relief to be able to be in control at the same time," I said astounded and completely lost in his story.
"It was," he said with a small sigh. "I hadn't lead too many raids on my own by the time that I came across a real vampire…the one who ended up changing me. I lead my raiding party right into his hideout. Because I was the youngest and the fastest, I got in there first. I stood no chance and he quickly went after me. His teeth had grazed my arm, and he didn't really get the chance to latch onto my neck to have that be deep either before the rest of my raiding party came bursting through the door. He quickly dropped me and focused his attention on the rest of the men who came hurdling in after me. He managed to kill most of them and took two more with him. He didn't realize that he hadn't killed me. When the burning set in, I knew I was in trouble, so I managed to crawl into a nearby potato cellar and cover myself in the rotting remnants. The pain was intense, but I knew that if I were found I would be in worse trouble. It took everything I had in me to keep quiet and as still as I possibly could be. When I woke, I knew what I had become and what my father would do to me if he knew. He already assumed that I had been lost in that raid I lead a few days prior, so I just left. I knew that I had become a monster."
"You're not a monster Carlisle!" I cried out. I couldn't let him think of himself like that.
"I know that sweetheart…now. But back then, there was no such thing as a good vampire. All vampires were monsters. I left all forms of civilization behind me in my search to find a way to kill myself. I couldn't run the risk of hurting anyone. Nothing worked and so I continued to move further and further away from any human. It had been several months since I was turned and I had not fed. I was bound to starve myself to death in order to not harm anyone. But, out in the middle of nowhere, I heard two dozen huge hearts beat and was drawn to them. I KNEW they weren't human, but I was so lost in myself that I really had no idea what was going on. By the time I had come to, I had drained half the herd of deer that had run across me. I knew in that instant that I was full and that I could actually manage to survive without causing harm to any human. I had eaten deer meat my entire life up until this point, so this was no different in my mind. I would continue to survive on deer and other animals, just as I had while I was human." He smiled a big grin at this.
"And the world's first vegetarian vampire was born," I smiled and chuckled.
"Indeed," he chuckled in response.
Just then, we came to a stop. I had been caught up so much in his story again that I hadn't realized that we had made it to my house. Before I could comment on anything my passenger door opened so quickly that it scared me and I backed away from it and into Carlisle on instinct. I was surprised to find that I hadn't hit his shoulder like I would've thought. He'd managed to turn my way so that I had backed up into his chest, a much broader target and less painful one than his shoulder would've been.
"Holy crow Edward!" I exclaimed as I gripped my chest to try and keep my frantic heart from beating out of it. "You scared the crap out of me doing that."
"I just came to help you get inside," he replied as he gathered my gifts into his hands.
Just then, I realized that Carlisle had placed his left hand on my left arm almost to my shoulder to help soothe me in my shock. "Here, let me help you out," he said as he gently turned me to face him again. He'd already had the driver's side door open and was sliding out himself, and since I had nearly ended up in his lap when Edward had scared me opening the door so fast, I was definitely closer to him than Edward still on the passenger side.
"Thank you," I said as I slid the remaining distance towards the edge of the seat. I was expecting him to just hold my hand to help me keep my balance when I got out, but he surprised me when he reached in when I was close enough and lifted me out. He only turned and set me gently on the ground, but the whole experience still had me blush a little. It's not every day that someone lifts you bridal style as though weighed nothing more than a feather. "Thank you," I said again in my stunned surprise.
Next thing I knew, Edward was right by my side, still with that sour look on his face. "Let's get you inside so that you can tell Charlie what he needs to know and you can get to bed. You need rest. It's been a long night for you."
"Yeah…Charlie," I said as the three of us walked up to the door.
Carlisle, with my keys still in his hand, reached the door first in case he needed to unlock it. Since Charlie was still awake, I knew that the door wasn't locked, but I didn't think to tell him that since I was beginning to dread what was coming up once we get through that door.
"Bells, is that you?" Charlie called when we opened the door.
"Yeah Dad, it's me, Edward, and Dr. Cullen," I answered stepping through the door.
Surprised, Charlie had gotten up and had started to head over to us. "What's wrong?" he asked when he saw Edward holding my gifts and the bandage that was peeking out from under my left sleeve. Carlisle was behind us closing the door.
"It's nothing Dad…honestly. It was just a little clumsy accident at the party."
Stepping up behind me, Carlisle said, "She got distracted when she turned to answer a question from someone and caught the edge of the rug with her foot. She ended up tripping into a glass table and cut up her arm. I was able to clean the wound and stitch her up myself there at the house. It wasn't too deep, but just barely qualified to need the stitches. She will heal quickly. There really is no cause for concern. I'll just need to see her in 5 days to see if she's healed enough for me to take the stitches out."
If Edward hadn't been standing close enough for me to see him out of my peripheral vision while looking at Carlisle while he explained the simple story, I would've missed the flash of something that looked like frustration mixed with anger or something. I couldn't understand why Carlisle's words would do that to him. I've had stitches before, so I wasn't surprised by the timeframe Carlisle gave.
Charlie, it seemed, completely missed that little flash from Edward and was focused solely on Carlisle's reassurances. "Can't walk and talk at the same time, huh Bells?" Charlie chuckled. "You sure you're alright sweetie?"
"I'm fine Dad. Just a little ibuprofen for the soreness of falling, and I'll be good as new in a few days."
"Actually, if you could show me to your medical supplies, I'd like to make sure that you have enough of the proper bandages and ointment to use. If you don't have enough, I'll be back in the morning with the need supplies and change her bandage while I'm here," Carlisle said.
"Edward, will you just put those upstairs on my bed while I show Carlisle our medical kit?" I asked the frustrated Edward.
"Sure," he replied before quickly heading up the stairs.
Charlie went to go sit back down and continue watching, whatever it was that he had been watching, when we walked in the door. Carlisle followed me to the hallway closest where I pointed to the kit on the shelf above us. He got the kit down and quickly inventoried the contents.
"I'll be back in the morning. You don't have enough non-stick gauze pads, nor do you have enough tape, and you need some Aquaphor to put over the stitches to help heal it with minimal scarring. I don't want you to use Neosporin on it, it might cause an allergic reaction."
"Thank you Carlisle…for everything," I said quietly.
"Think nothing of it," he said quickly. "I really didn't do anything that any other doctor wouldn't have done," he said with a smile.
"You've given me the world. Your family has been a huge blessing in my life. I know that it might not seem like it right now, especially to Edward at the moment, but I wouldn't even be alive right now if it wasn't for him. And if it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have been around to save me from Tyler's van. So thank you. And thank you for being an excellent doctor. I sure have needed that side of you a lot." I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh at that myself.
"It's truly been my pleasure to welcome you into our world, and our family. You really are a welcome addition."
Walking back towards the living room, we saw that Edward was back downstairs and waiting behind the couch. He was still just as surly.
He walked over to me and grabbed my upper arms tightly and pulled me into a kiss. He was hard and demanding, it didn't feel right. Especially with us being in front of Carlisle, and Charlie could turn around at any moment. Breaking from the kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Leave your window open and I'll join you after Charlie goes to bed."
Not exactly sure why, but I wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of him being there with me tonight if he was going to continue to act like this. "Not tonight Edward," I whispered back. "I think we just both need some time to cool off and think."
I could see the frustration still etched in his features, but he nodded his assent and walked out the door after telling Charlie goodnight.
"Goodnight Charlie, I'll be back in the morning with the needed supplies to help Bella heal. Goodnight Bella, take a couple ibuprofen before you lay down tonight. It'll help stop any pain before it really has time to take hold."
"Goodnight Carlisle…and thanks for looking after my little girl," Charlie called from the couch.
"Goodnight Carlisle, and thanks again," I said as I escorted him to the door.
"You're welcome Bella. Take it easy on your arm for the next few days. I don't want you to accidentally rip the stitches out," he said as he placed a hand on my upper arm and squeezed ever so lightly in a comforting gesture. I watched him jog at a human speed out to Edward's car and climb into the passenger side. I waved goodbye to them before they backed out of the drive and shut the door.
"Goodnight Dad. I'm gonna go upstairs and hit the hay. I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight kiddo. I hope your arm feels better quickly. Sleep well," he replied.
I took my time getting dressed into my pajamas before heading into the bathroom with my toiletries bag. I didn't want to run the risk of reinjuring my arm, but I was lost in thought about everything that had happened tonight. I replayed the whole thing in my head as I got ready for bed. I couldn't help but think of the conversations that I had with Carlisle especially. He captivated me so easily, and I had learned so much about him tonight. I was definitely more impressed with him than I had been. Edward still shook me to think about when I pictured his face, so I tried to not think about him. His reactions mystified me. He overreacted a lot tonight and I couldn't figure out why. I'd rather just think about Carlisle's soothing presence at the moment.
After brushing my hair and brushing my teeth, I made sure that there was no frosting left anywhere, double checking my ears especially. After I was all clean and I had taken some ibuprofen like Carlisle said, I went to go lay down for the night. I was tired, and hoped that I could fall asleep quickly. To my relief, it didn't seem to take too long before I succumbed to my exhaustion and fell into the world of dreams.
It wasn't the first time that I dreamed of Carlisle, but it was the first time that I had dreamed of what it must've been like to be with him as a human in the London of his youth. Listening to him with his natural English accent as we talked just had me weak in the knees. I'd always been attracted to the English accent, and Carlisle being Carlisle just made it that much better. It was a very simple dream, just me and him, caught up talking like we had earlier tonight, while we looked like extras for some Jane Austen based movie. I woke up startled by a noise. Charlie letting out a loud snore next door no doubt. I could've sworn I saw something flash by my window for an instant, but it was gone before I could focus. Laying back down, I closed my eyes and hoped that I would go back to the dream that had ended so abruptly. I longed for that simple scene, that simple life. But, for some unknown reason, I longed to see Carlisle again. He was what had made that whole dream the most appealing, as simple as it was. I was so glad that Edward couldn't read my mind, but with his habit of sneaking into my room, I seriously hoped that he wouldn't do any sneaking tonight and hear me say Carlisle's name.
