Chapter 6

My Sun

The rest of the week, I was a mess. I was having nightmares every night. They were never the same one twice in a row, yet they were all the same. Edward would take my family away. No amount of pleading and crying could ever get him to turn his head. He would just tell them that they had to leave, and they would go. Only a few would put up an argument to stay, but only Carlisle fought to bring me with them or truly fought in the literal sense to stay. In the end, he was always overpowered and dragged away. It just didn't make sense. Why was my subconscious stuck on Carlisle being the one who wanted me to be part of the family? It's what I really wanted! But, why Carlisle?

When Thursday rolled around and I could be free of my crutches, I was grateful. I took the time to make sure that I was extra careful to have my ankle wrapped as good as it could possibly be, and that I wore my boots that laced up and went over my ankle to give me the extra support. I wasn't in the mood to get my ankle reinjured anytime soon.

School was basically the same. Teachers were still giving me my space, while only a few of my friends tried to reach out and chat at lunch. Lauren was her usual snippy mean self, and Jessica seemed to really thrive off her comments. When Angela brought up the beach trip this weekend though, it seemed to bring everyone into a much happier mood.

"So…is everyone ready for the beach on Saturday morning?" Angela asked when she sat down at the table between me and Ben.

"Most definitely!" Ben replied.

"I can't wait! I still gotta pick up a new thing of surfer's wax though. I'm just about out," Mike said.

"Good thinking! I should probably pick up some too. My last batch didn't seem like it was very good. Should never ask my mom to pick up something like that for me. She's hopeless with sports stuff!" Tyler said as he laughed at the thought.

"Think you'll stay up on your board this time Mike?" Jessica laughingly teased.

"Oh hush! That wave came out of nowhere," Mike replied. "You're coming too, right Bella? Noticed you got rid of the crutches, so you wouldn't be hindered by that," Mike asked me after he turned to face me. He definitely had a hopeful look in his eyes. Guess this kid would NEVER give up.

"Yeah, I'll be there. No surfing or tidal pools for me. I'm just gonna stick to the beach this time," I said.

Looking around, I noticed that Lauren looked a little miffed that I'd be going, and Jessica sure had this look about her like I was trying to steal something of hers.

"Jake practically lives at the beach, so he and his friends will probably be there too," I said in hopes of getting her ire off of me.

"Who's Jake?" Mike asked.

"He's my dad's best friend's son. You met him on our first trip to La Push after I moved here. He and his friends were there."

"Oh, yeah. Young kid right? Was here a couple weeks ago before school and gave you something?"

"Right."

Mike seemed mollified, but Jessica only slightly so. Guess I should call Jake and let him know that I would be at the beach on Saturday and tell him to bring his friends with him and join us.

The rest of the day just kind of dragged on. I still got looks from Jessica every now and then that I couldn't quite read. I knew that her jealousy streak would prove to be difficult when dealing with Mike and his never-ending hopefulness that there could be something between us. I decided before the last bell, that I would indeed be calling Jacob to make sure that he would be there at the beach.

When I got home, I figured I should finish the last bit of homework that I had. It wouldn't take me long to finish the makeup work and the little that had been assigned that day. I wasn't exactly sure what time the school on the reservation got out, so it'd also give Jacob some time to get home. So, an hour later I called down to the Black's house.

"Hello," a deep voice answered.

"Jake?" I asked, surprised that his voice seemed to drop a little more in the last few weeks since I saw him last.

"Yes. Bella, that you?" he replied.

"Yeah…dang Jake, your voice gonna get any lower?" I laughed at my surprise.

"Possibly. I am still growing!" he replied cheerfully. I could hear the smile in his voice as he replied.

"Growing still? You were pretty tall as it was that last time I saw you," I continued to laugh.

"That was weeks ago Bells! I've grown about another inch even since then!"

"Really? Dang Jake! You really are gonna be tall," I chuckled.

"You bet!" he laughed. "So what's up? I doubt you called just to find out how deep my voice is getting or how tall I am," he chuckled.

"No, I didn't. That was just an added bonus," I laughed lightly. "Actually, I called to find out if you had any plans on Saturday. A group of my friends and I are planning to hit the beach before the storm comes in. Angela said that the swells were going to be pretty decent and that the tide pools should have tons of new stuff in them. I was hoping you and your friends could join us…make it a big party or something."

"You planning on surfing Bells?" he chuckled.

"Oh no! I'm gonna be limited to basically just sitting on that big drift wood tree. I don't have to use my crutches anymore, but I still have to be careful with my ankle for a few more weeks. My balance is bad enough on firm, flat surfaces. So DEFINITELY no surfing, and even the tide pools would be far too treacherous for my week ankle right now."

"Don't worry about it. I'll keep you company when everyone else wants to wander off," he said quickly.

"Thanks Jake. So who do you think will be there?"

"Oh, we basically live at the beach. But I'll introduce you to the guys. Quil and Embry are my best friends. Maybe you'll remember seeing them, though I don't think you officially met." His voice started turning a little sour when he mentioned the next people, "Sam and his…gang, will probably be there too."

"Gang?" I asked.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it. No one down here seems to worry, not even the elders," he said in a slightly glum tone.

"Ok," I said slowly. "So, whatcha got planned for the rest of the night?" I asked in hopes of brightening his mood again.

"Oh, well I have been trying to fix the Rabbit. It kinda crapped out on me not long after your birthday. I knew that I needed that master cylinder that Billy bought me after…after I crashed your prom. But it turns out that there's a lot more needed to fix it. We knew it was really crappy when we bought it and would need to have some major work on it, but it really is gonna take some time to find everything. So…I've decided to just tear the whole engine apart and rebuild it. That way I can double-check to make sure that everything is in the proper working order before I drive it again."

"Wow Jake! That sounds like a big undertaking. Are you sure that you can handle that?" I teased.

"Sure sure! No problem!" he laughed.

Looking over at the clock, I realized that it wouldn't be long before Charlie got home and that I should probably get started on dinner soon.

"I better let you go so that I can start cooking dinner for Charlie. It won't be too long before he's home," I told Jake.

"Oh, well, ok. See you Saturday!" Jake said in goodbye.

"See you Saturday," I said before I hung up.

The rest of the night passed like any other. Quiet dinner followed by Charlie turning on the TV to catch up on the latest sports' news. I watched a little of it with Charlie before the news mentioned the storm coming the next week and I figured now would be a good time to let Charlie know that I was going to be heading to the beach with my school friends and meeting Jake and his friends there.

"Dad, before I forget, just figured I'd let yRou know that I'm planning to head to La Push on Saturday with a group of friends from school. Jake said he was going to be there too with his friends. Everyone wants to hit the waves and see the new stuff in the tidal pools before the weather gets too cold. The coming storm promises a good time before it actually hits the shore," I told him casually.

Charlie smiled at the thought. Though I'm not exactly what part put that smile on his face, he seemed to start smiling when I mentioned Jake.

"It's good to know you're getting out and moving on Bells. Been worried about you since the Cullens left. Jake's a good kid! Glad to hear that you're hanging out with him," he said with a smile.

Charlie was worried about me? Guess I haven't been hiding my depression as well as I'd thought.

"Yeah…anyway, gonna go upstairs and double-check to make sure all my homework is done. Goodnight Dad."

"G'night Bells," he said before turning back to the TV.

When I got upstairs, I just immediately started getting ready for bed. I knew that all my homework was done already, I just didn't feel like getting scrutinized by Charlie downstairs. Especially since I hadn't been hiding just how sad I was as well as I had thought. I didn't need to give him any more ammunition against me on that front.

I turned out the main lights in my room, then turned on the bedside lamp before pulling out my picture of me and Carlisle. Laying there in bed, I just stared at it for a while before I started running a finger along his arm in the picture…trying to remember just what it had felt like when he'd helped carry me to the kitchen table that night…the feel of his marble strong arms. Yet, I remember how gentle his touch had been when he was working so diligently clean my wounds and patch me up. I tried to remember just how cool his touch had been. It seems like it had been a lifetime ago that I had felt the coolness from the touch of any of my vampires. I miss it. I miss Alice's exuberance when she would hug me and kiss my cheek. I miss Emmett and his silly tickle filled bear hugs. I miss the motherly hugs from Esme. I miss the comforting touch of Carlisle's hand as he worked to heal me. I miss Edward's kisses, though those are starting to feel more like a dream than an actual memory.

Tears fell silently to my pillow as I continued to look at the picture in my hand. I was trying very hard to envision what life with the Cullens would've been like. It was probably that thought that lead me to another dream of them.

"Swing batter batter! Swing!" Emmett was calling out, taunting Carlisle in hopes of distracting him enough.

Rosalie threw the ball, hard, fast, and curved. But nothing seemed to distract Carlisle's focus. When he swung, the bat connected with the ball with such force that it sounded like a bomb went off. He had hit it so hard and so far, that Jasper had no hope whatsoever of catching it or catching up to it in time to get him out. Carlisle had a huge smug look on his face when he crossed plate with no sign of Jasper or the ball yet.

Carlisle's homerun had brought both Edward and Alice home, so now they were up, 20-12. Rosalie was definitely in a sour mood after that. Apparently she had been hoping to get all three of them stuck on bases and force an end to the inning. She had a nasty scowl on her face that she threw at Carlisle.

"It's just a game Kitty," he chuckled at her.

Everyone was still smiling and chuckling when Jasper came through the trees with the ball. Only then did Alice let out a sharp gasp.

"Oh no!"

"What's wrong Alice?" Carlisle quickly asked.

Everyone started moving quickly towards her, but she was reaching out towards me.

"Alice…again?" Edward asked.

"Again?" several voices murmured.

"I didn't see it." Alice started saying. "Somehow…somehow they put him back together!"

"Put who back together?" I asked anxiously.

"James," Edward hissed, at the same time Alice had groaned it out in horror.

That got everyone else on edge.

"How many are with him?" Carlisle asked gravely. I'm sure he was remembering our last encounter with him, same as me.

"Four, but two of them are new, young by the looks of them," Alice whispered.

Jasper hissed.

"How long?" Carlisle asked, looking between Alice and Edward.

"Three minutes, they heard our playing, but they aren't afraid this time. No need to be cautious now." Edward grumbled.

"We'll fight them this time. We can do it!" Carlisle said. He then looked down at me, "Don't worry Bella, we'll protect you."

"We can't!" Edward hissed. "They're too powerful! We have to go!"

"Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"I can't see it clearly. There's too many things changing. Too many choices being made and changed! I can't see it!"

"We have to leave! NOW!" Edward growled.

Carlisle made to grab me to carry me, but Edward quickly shoved his hands away.

"We'll never make it with her! They want us all. I can hear their thoughts. We could make it if we leave her," Edward said with a dark and saddened look.

"Edward?" I asked trembling.

"We can't leave her!" Carlisle exclaimed.

Next thing I knew, everyone's heads looked up to the far side of the open field. I guess they could hear the approaching vampires.

"You're on your own!" Edward said harshly and grabbed Esme and Alice by their hands and pulled them along, running as fast as he could. Rosalie, hot on their heals. I guess she could see the lost cause once they had already lost three. Emmett and Jasper looked at each other for the briefest of moments before they took off to follow their beloveds.

Stunned, Carlisle scooped me up and ran, but he didn't follow. I don't know why, but maybe he didn't want to endanger them. We ran for what felt like hours. Before I knew it, I could hear a voice right behind us. I guess Carlisle didn't want me to know just how close to danger we were.

"You're gonna lose this time doc," came James' low taunt.

Next second, there was a commotion in the trees ahead, and Victoria popped out with Laurent. Carlisle changed course, but he only ended up running into an ambush from the two new, young ones. I ended up getting thrown from Carlisle's arms as both of them tackled Carlisle around the waist. I was lucky we were headed to an open and muddy field. I rolled and flailed as I hit the ground at speed.

James walked slowly up to me and grabbed me by my hair to pull me up and have me turn and face Carlisle who was being brought over by both of the young vampires, their eyes seemed to almost glow with how bright the red in their eyes were, they were struggling to keep him from escaping.

"You're gonna watch each other die," James whispered in my ear as he smiled and looked at Carlisle at the same time.

After that, I started screaming as I watched in horror as they started ripping Carlisle's arms off and I felt James' teeth sink into my neck at the same time.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up to Charlie struggling to hold my wrists to keep from hitting him. I guess I screamed and woke him up and he had to fight me to wake me up from such a nightmare.

"Bella! Bella wake up!" Charlie screamed while he wrestled my wrists into submission, holding them the best he could at my stomach.

Crying, I just looked up at Charlie and shook my head. "I'm…I'm so sorry Dad," I whimpered through my tears.

"What's wrong Bella?" Charlie asked.

"Jus…just a nightmare," I said in an unsteady voice.

"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked, unsure, as if he wouldn't know he would say or do if I did tell him.

"No…I'll be fine…just an over active imagination," I replied. "Please, just go back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you."

"You sure you're ok?" he asked one more time.

"Sure sure," I replied hurriedly. My voice was getting steadier, but I still had some silent tears falling.

"Alright…if you're sure," Charlie said slowly.

"Yeah…go back to bed Dad. I'm sorry I woke you," I said again.

When Charlie left, I looked over at my clock, it was 4AM, I wouldn't be going back to bed again tonight. I knew that I could never calm down in time after THAT nightmare. Instead, I just pulled out my picture from its hiding place again and held it close to my chest again. Carlisle was my solace, I don't know what caused that stupid nightmare, but his picture and thoughts of him helped to calm me further.

School was long and slow that day. I couldn't wait till it was over! I didn't know what I was going to do afterwards, but I definitely was glad when the final bell rang.

When I got home, I just knew that I couldn't stay there. I was off the next several days from work since they had hired someone to help out during the summer, but kept both of us. But I needed to go somewhere and not let my mind wander. I tended to get into painful memories or thoughts of 'what if?' if I let my thoughts wander. That's when it hit me, maybe I could just go see Jacob! Surely he could help keep me busy. He seemed excited at the idea of us hanging out on Saturday, maybe he wouldn't mind if I showed up this afternoon to hang out too.

I called up at the police station and Deputy Marks answered. "Forks Police Station, Deputy Marks speaking. How can I help you?"

"Hey Deputy Marks, it's Bella, is my dad around?"

"Sure thing, hang on."

"Bella are you alright?" came Charlie's worried question when he got on the phone.

"I'm fine Dad. Does something have to be wrong for me to call you at the station?"

"No…but you've never called here before," Charlie said.

"True, but nothing is wrong. I was just hoping that you could give me the directions to get to the Black's house. Feel like going to see Jacob."

"Sure Bells!" I could hear the relief and the smile in his voice as he replied and gave me the directions to get there.

Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling up to a little old red house. It was familiar, from a long forgotten memory that suddenly sprung up. I knew this place. It was comfortable.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob call coming around the back of the house. Guess he recognized the roaring and rumbling from my truck from when he had to keep it in working order all the time when they owned it.

"Hey Jake!" I said with a small smile as he ran up to me and lifted me into a tight hug.

"Hey there Bella," said Billy from the now open front door of their little house.

"Hey Billy."

"Whatcha doin out here?" Jake asked me.

"Came out here to see you, and see what's new. Whatcha up to?"

"I was just heading out to go work on the Rabbit some. We can go do something else if you want though," came his quick and unsure reply.

"No, that's cool. Anything would be good. Just wanted to catch-up with you and avoid hanging out solo for the evening."

"You sticking around for dinner Bella?" Billy called over to us.

"Should really go fix dinner for Charlie later," I replied.

"He's welcome anytime. I'll go call him and invite him over when his shift is done."

Jacob and I walked out to his makeshift garage. He had tools and parts spread out everywhere! I had no clue what I was looking at for sure, but the big gaping cavity where a car engine SHOULD be, had me betting that he really did tear his engine apart. Piece…by…piece.

"Holy crow Jake! That's insane!" I exclaimed gesturing to the parts strewn out everywhere.

"I told you I was rebuilding my engine," he chuckled.

"Yeah, you did. But I wasn't expecting THIS!" I said dumbfounded.

"It won't take me too terribly long to get it all put back together. Just need to keep all the smaller parts grouped together till I can put them back together with the larger pieces. It's fun and quite the workout!" he chuckled. "Here, you sit in the passenger seat and we can chat while I work."

"How'd you even get started with doing things like this?" I asked him.

"Well, you know…when you don't have a lot of money, you gotta learn to do for yourself. I read a bunch of manuals on maintenance and repair. Basically taught myself all I need to know. Just gotta go to a shop for stuff I don't have the equipment for."

"Wow Jake…impressive!"

Talking about his repairs kept us occupied for a while. He even tried to show me how to put some of the pieces together, but that didn't work out when I nearly sliced my hand when a screw driver lost its grip on whatever I was trying to put back together. It was strictly look, but don't touch, after that for me, which I didn't mind one bit. It was a little too greasy for me to want to get into anyway.

It didn't seem to be too long till we heard Charlie and Billy calling us in for dinner.

"Bella! Jake! You out here?" Charlie and Billy had called, thought it was only Charlie that came around the corner of the shed to see inside.

"Yeah Dad!" Both Jake and I had called out.

I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped that turned into a full laugh when Jacob and I turned and looked at each other at the same time.

Dinner was some pizza. It was good that Charlie had brought two larges with him. Jake ate one of them by himself. His growth spurt really was giving him one heck of an appetite! We spent the rest of the night hanging out in the Blacks' living room watching TV. Jake had his arm behind me on the couch. Not sure how much of that was due to the lack of a lot of room, or if he might think of something more. I really hope it was just because of the lack of room in this tiny house.

When Charlie and I had gotten back home, I had been reluctant to try and go to sleep and took my time going through my nightly routine after Charlie had gone through his. I tried to put off going to sleep as long as possible, but the lack of proper sleep the night before and the busy work with Jake tonight made me realize that I couldn't put it off for forever. I looked at my picture for a few minutes, before finally closing my eyes and trying for some sleep.

To my surprise, it was my alarm that had awoken me the next morning. I hadn't dreamt at all last night. I wasn't sure what the change was for, or for how long it would last, but I was definitely grateful that I'd managed to get some sleep. Especially when I knew I was going to have to keep up appearances with my friends from school when we head to the beach in a little bit.

We all met up at Newton's Outfitters to carpool out to the beach. With Tyler's van finally repaired after the accident earlier in the year, and Mike's big SUV packed and loaded down, we made our way to the beach for one last day of fun in the surf.

We got to the beach in the late morning, so we had plenty of time to hang out and have some fun before we needed to worry about getting lunch going. Luckily we planned to make some sandwiches for lunch while we were out, so we didn't have to worry about trying to cook over a fire. Though having a fire would probably nice to sit around.

It wasn't long after we got there that some of the guys started to get their wetsuits on and to head out and try for some waves. The rest of us made our way to sit on the huge drift wood that was basically a fallen tree, roots and all. Bleached white from both the sun and the saltwater, it had made the perfect place to sit while at First Beach.

I was dreading the time that I knew would come, when either Jessica or Lauren would start in on me and ask me the uncomfortable questions about the Cullens. I kept trying to avoid them by staying close to Angela and Ben, but I knew that tactic wouldn't last for forever. I thought that I would get an extended reprieve when I looked up and saw Jacob trotting over to us with a couple of his friends in tow.

"Jake! Glad you made it!" I ran up to him and gave him a quick hug.

"Hey Bella. Told you I'd come," he chuckled nervously. "These two chuckleheads are my best friends. Quil Ateara and Embry Call."

"Nice to meet you guys. But…Quil…and Embry…interesting names," I said with a teasing grin.

The two boys looked at each other and Jake ducked his head to try and hide his laughter in the shoulder of the arm he still had around me.

"I was named after my grandfather," Quil said. "Old family name."

Embry just shook his head. Jake couldn't take it anymore and chuckled while he said, "Embry was named after a TV show character that his mom loved."

That got everyone laughing and with one last look at each other, Quil and Embry both made to lunge at Jacob. He pushed me slightly out of the way as he jumped away getting them to chase him and leave me alone. Everyone got a kick out of watching the three boys wrestle around and try to kick each other's butts. Definitely some quality entertainment that took at little bit of time away from what I knew would still be the interrogation to come.

The wrestling match ended shortly after Jake had lifted Quil up over his head and nearly body slammed him till Embry tackled him. All three came back up to where we were shortly after they got up from that and were laughing and play punching each other.

When they got back, Jake sat next to me and threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into a sideways hug. I'm not sure why, but Jacob really was pretty warm. I didn't think they had wrestled around that much, but I could be wrong.

"Bella," Jessica called my name to get my attention. "Is this your new boyfriend? Already moving on after Edward?"

"Jake's not my boyfriend. He's an old family friend," I said.

"We've known each other since we were little kids," Jake said still chuckling.

Not to get derailed, she brought the conversation back to her goal, "So, what happened with Edward? How did you guys leave it?" Jessica had asked very enthusiastically.

"He just told me that they were moving. Sudden offer that Dr. Cullen couldn't pass up."

"So just like that? No long tear-filled goodbyes and promises to stay in touch? They're just…gone?" Jessica continued.

"Yes." I replied very matter-of-factly. I was desperate to hold back the tears that I could feel just below the surface.

"Good riddance," said Sam Uley.

Apparently he and his group of friends had walked up behind us and heard the conversation.

"Just stay out of it Sam," Jake said giving him a glaring look.

"Why?" said another one of the boys. "The Cullens don't belong here."

"Shove it Paul! Not everyone shares your opinion on things," said Jake.

"Come on Paul…Jared, let's go and enjoy the beach," Sam said in an authoritative voice.

"Weird much?" said Lauren.

"You don't know the half of it," said Embry.

I couldn't believe my luck that Jessica and Lauren seemed to be done trying to get gossip on the Cullens. I didn't get asked anymore questions after that. We spent the rest of the day laughing at Mike and the others while they were trying to cut each other off in the waves and see who could catch the biggest one.

Every once in a while, Jake would suddenly take off and show off a stunt that he had been working on. He'd egg on his friends to join him and have a contest to see who could do it better. Flips in the sand, they were not bad, but all of them landed awkwardly. Walking on their hands, all of them could go a little ways and then lose their balance and fall because of the unevenness of the sand or because they accidentally hit each other.

Not sure what it was about these Quileute boys, but they all seemed to be huge and various forms of athletic. It was nice to see that at least Jake and his friends weren't perfect at everything though. Sam and his friends seemed to be effortless in their attempts at anything physical. Even from the distance that they were at with their own goofing around, I could tell that everything physical seemed to come as second nature to them.

By the time that we got back to Forks, I realized that I had spent the majority of my time with Jacob and his friends. I'd spent some with the others of course, but I was definitely more at ease with Jacob. He had been fun and easy to spend time with. He was also very warm, both with his smiling face and the warmth that he radiated. He was like my own personal sun in this normally gloomy space.

That night, I had a dream about hanging out with Jacob. We were hanging out in the woods somewhere, just chatting as we sat on a log. He was telling me about life on the reservation and such. Looking up, I saw something in the distance. The more I focused, the more I realized it was Carlisle, halfway hidden behind a tree. He smiled faintly at me, but he looked so sad. As soon as I got up and tried to call out to him though, my alarm went off and woke me up for the day.

Laying there for a few minutes after I turned off my alarm, I was grateful that I hadn't had another nightmare, but there was still a deep ache in my chest. I wasn't sure I'd ever lose that. I desperately missed the Cullens. I definitely missed Carlisle's calm and soothing disposition.

Realizing that living with the constant thought about how much I miss them, would only make me dwell on that more and make the whole in my chest that much bigger. I needed to do something else, and soon. Charlie had already left early, to go fishing with Billy and Harry no doubt. I knew that I needed to get some chores done, but that I needed to go hang out with friends too.

After I finished getting things around the house cleaned and the couple loads of laundry done, I made my way to La Push. I'd hoped that I could hang out with Jacob again. Yesterday had been fun, and he certainly kept my mood upbeat.

Pulling up to the little red house was becoming a very comfortable sight, especially when it included the big and gangly Jacob bounding out of the door to greet me with a big smile on his face. His hair was down, I'd never really seen it out of his usual ponytail, but it flowed halfway down his back in a river of the shiniest black satin. It truly was beautiful, and many girls I knew would be envious of his hair. He was pulling it up shortly after he cleared the porch and had it into a low ponytail by the time I was fully parked.

"Hey Bella! Whatcha doing here?" he asked with a smile.

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out again. Yesterday was great!" I replied.

"Sure thing! What you have in mind?"

" Anything really. Working on your car, going to the beach, hangning out with your friends…just so long as we get to have some fun together," I answered.

"That's cool. Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Not yet. Wasn't hungry when I left." I replied a little sheepishly.

"No problem. I was about to go make some pancakes. You can join me!" Jacob said with a grin.

"Sounds delicious," I said with a smile.

The day moved by quickly. After breakfast, we went out to the garage and he worked on the engine, putting it back together pretty quickly it seemed. At the rate he was going, it probably wouldn't take but a few weeks to get it all sorted out, factoring in some wait time for parts he said he still needed.

Lunch saw his friends Quil and Embry bringing a pizza over. I noticed that Quil had started flirting with me a bit and that Jacob seemed rather agitated with that idea. We ended up watching TV for a while as we ate, flipping through the channels every now and then trying to find something we liked. After a couple of hours of TV, we figured we should go burn off some of that pizza and walked to the beach. The boys seemed to live to wrestle and goof around. They seemed to love showing off their 'manly' abilities in front of a girl willing to watch.

The three of them were different but so very alike at the same time. Jacob, tall and lanky, was starting to get noticeably more muscular. Embry, almost as tall as Jacob, was leaner, but still had the strength somewhere to hold his own. Quil, shorter and brawnier was the most muscly of the three and he proudly showed that fact off, he just wasn't quite as tall. If Jacob was about 6'4", I'd put Embry at about 6'2" or 6'3", Quil was probably only 5'11" or 6' even. With their russet skin and silky black hair, though Quil's was only a little longer than a buzz, and Embry's was chin length, they could very easily pass as brothers. Any way that you look at it, they made my 5'4" skinny self, feel like a little midget next to them.

After a couple of hours past, Jacob and I said goodbye to Quil and Embry and headed back to his house. We sat in his garage for a while just chatting idly away for a while. Just looking over at Jacob, with that big and goofy grin on his face, I couldn't help but think about how he had such a warm and bubbly personality. Add in the fact that he just seemed to have this heat radiating off him, he really seemed to light and warm up my little world while I was with him. He really was like my own personal sun, there really was no other way to describe him.

A couple hours later, I hopped back into the truck and made my way back to Charlie's. I'd need to make him dinner soon. I knew that he would be hungry and tired after a full day of fishing with his buddies. I'm just glad that he didn't make me clean the fish. I just had worry about how I was going to cook his catch. He had a tendency to bring a large batch home sometimes.

Dinner was a quiet affair as usual. Then Charlie went to go head off to watch a little TV before he would call it a night. After I finished putting away the leftovers and washing the dishes and setting them out to dry on the rack, I made my way upstairs to get ready for bed. I still dreaded the night though. I never knew what I was going to dream about…or if the nightmares would come. Today had been a very calm and wonderful day. I just hoped that I would have a good night to match it. I decided to pull out my Jane Austen collection and turn to finish up Pride and Prejudice.

After finishing the novel, I put the book down on my night stand and turned so that I could pull my now wrinkly picture of me and Carlisle out from my pillowcase. Staring at it increased my longing for the man in the photo, and for the family he brought into my life. I couldn't help but run my finger gently along his cheek in the photo…trying to remember just exactly how it felt. I tried to picture the exact coldness and texture of his skin. I even briefly remembered that I had once kissed his cheek in my enthusiasm. I blushed at that thought and then tried to just think about how if I could remember him more clearly, that meant that I could remember the rest of them more clearly.

At that thought, I pulled the picture close to my chest and held it there. With my eyes squeezed tight, and my picture held close, I felt like there were more of my broken pieces put into place and being held there.

"Good evening Bella," Carlisle said as he walked through the door into his office. He'd caught me lounging on his chaise with a book in my hands.

"Good evening Carlisle," I said with a blush.

Carlisle went and sat behind his desk and began reading a rather thick book. I couldn't tell if it was an encyclopedia or just a big collection of books. After a little while I heard him sigh and lean back in his chair.

"Are you ok Carlisle?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry I disturbed you," he said sheepishly.

"I'm the one disturbing you by invading your space. I could leave," I said, hoping he wouldn't ask me to go, but would rather talk or something.

"No," he said quickly. "You're perfectly fine sweetheart. I've just had a long day. A patient of mine isn't doing very well on the meds she's been given, and without them she won't have her tumor shrink enough so that it would be operable. It's not looking good. I'm just kind of in a bit of a funk I guess."

"I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything that I can do to help ease your mind or something?" I asked.

"Would you mind if I turned on some music? I know you were in here reading first. I just think that some music might help calm my mind. Jasper tends to help, but he is with Alice on that hunting trip."

"Go right ahead. I'd actually been wondering what kind of music you listen to," I said quickly.

Getting up, he went over to a hidden record player setup. "I have an eclectic taste. I like a lot from a wide variety of genres, though I don't necessarily like everything," he said with a small chuckle.

I couldn't help but chuckle along with him. "That sounds like me too."

Soon there were the jazzy sounds of a smooth trumpet playing. "Jazz…not sure what it is exactly, but it just grabs me heart and soul when I listen," Carlisle said.

Setting my book down on the chaise, I went to go sit across from him at his desk in another one of his chairs. Sitting like this, we found ourselves immersed in the songs of Louis Armstrong…good ol' Satchmo. Occasionally, I would open my eyes and see him leaning back into his chair with his head tilted to the ceiling and his eyes closed, just like I had been. Then there were times when I'd open my eyes to see him staring right back.

After a few songs, and the current one was approaching the end, Carlisle got up and rounded his desk to stand beside me. I turned out of natural instinct to face him.

Holding his hand out to me, he very sweetly asked, "Bella, would you dance with me?"

Stunned, I stared into his eyes as whispered, "Yes."

Taking my hand in his, and keeping our gazes locked onto each other, he slowly helped me raise to my feet and then backed a little ways further into his study so that we had room to dance. When he reached a spot that was far enough from any furniture, he pulled me to him into a loose version of a traditional dancing pose. He held my right hand in his left, and slid his right hand down to grab my left and slowly guided my hand to be placed on his shoulder. Then he slowly moved his right hand placed it on the small of my back. I couldn't help the sudden quickened pace of my heart and the widening of my eyes at such a sweet, yet intimate gesture.

Before I knew it, a new song was playing and we were dancing. Just a slow and easy circle, a soft sway to the music.

I see trees of green

Red roses too

I see them bloom

For me and you

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue

And clouds of white

The bright blessed day

The dark sacred night

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow

So pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces

Of people going by

I see friends shaking hands

Saying, "How do you do?"

They're really saying

"I love you"

I hear babies cry

I watch them grow

They'll learn much more

Than I'll never know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Oh yeah

The entire song, Carlisle held me tight in his arms. We never lost the lock we had on each other's eyes. He even had held me tighter as Satchmo sang 'They're really saying, 'I love you.' But then, Carlisle had softly joined in with him and sang in a beautiful baritone, "Yes, I think to myself, What a wonderful world."

We stopped dancing as our eyes bored into each other with a fierce intensity. Letting go of my waist, he brought his right hand up and cupped my cheek in his hand, his eyes searched my face, almost begging to find the answer to some unspoken question. When I leaned into his hand, he inhaled slowly and leaned down to capture my lips in a very sweet and tender kiss that was somehow searing at the same time.

Before I could deepen the kiss like I had desperately wanted, my alarm started ringing shrilly to wake me up for school. Waking up with a start, I quickly shut my alarm off. I lay there, I ran my hand through my hair a couple inches and then just grabbed and held a handful by the roots as I thought about my dream. My wonderful, and truly amazing dream.

"What was that?" I whispered to myself.

If that was the result of spending time with Jacob, he was going to have to get used to the idea of me becoming a permanent fixture around his house. Jacob was quickly becoming my best friend, but he was also becoming my savior from myself. If my sun could brighten up my days and allow for me to have my dreams actually be dreams, instead of nightmares, then I would gladly do what I needed in order to make that happen.