A/N: don't own don't sue
Lyrics at the beginning are from 'Life After You' by Daughtry
Set around Season One, before Abel is kidnapped and Gemma is raped and Jax turns into a jerk and the whole club hates each other. Generally back when the show had fun and all the coolest characters were still alive. Because I can, it's called artistic license.
Learn My Lesson
Chapter Twenty Two
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone, just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you, so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after, is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do
"Hey! Kip!"
Half-Sack blinked, readjusting the lamp he was holding so it shone clearly on the engine Naomi was concentrating on. He had been distracted by a text from Cherry and he hurriedly fumbled his phone back into the pocket of his overalls. He grinned sheepishly at Naomi, leaning further under the hood as she fiddled with the engine. Her hair was pulled back in a messy knot, strands sticking to her sweating neck that was gradually burning in the midday sun.
"Kip!" She wailed as the lamp slipped again.
The piece she'd been working on slid into place and she let out a crow of satisfaction. She swiped her grease-stained hands on her overalls, indicating for Half-Sack to try the engine. The car sputtered unhealthily for a long moment, before finally turning over without sounding too happy about it.
"Yes!" She leaped at Half-Sack, who caught her awkwardly in a gangly-limbed hug.
"Ain't this sweet." Tig crooned, popping out of the clubhouse on cue with Chibs in tow.
Half-Sack flushed and wriggled out of Naomi's grasp, avoiding Chibs's eyes through the dark glass of his shades.
"Your jealousy is showing." Naomi teased, dodging out of Tig's reach as his arm swiped towards her to pull her against him.
The two of them were still tossing sly comments at each other when a car swung into the lot and Chibs tensed. The lot watched in silence as the cruiser pulled neatly into a space in the visitor parking area and Hale emerged. Naomi squinted at the deputy as he made his way towards them, ignoring the hostile silence pressing against him. He looked the complete opposite to her boys, very straight-laced and neat. He looked like the kind of guy who hovered around her father hoping for recognition.
Hale and the guys exchanged barbed pleasantries, but Hale's gaze was fixed on Naomi. It was a very strange look he had in his eyes, not lust or interest, not even calculating. She couldn't put her finger on it.
"Ma'am." He held his hand out and introduced himself.
Naomi hesitated for a fraction of a second, before shaking his proffered hand and mumbling her name. Chibs's arm coiled around her waist and he yanked her back, so suddenly she stumbled. She stared at him in surprise.
"She's got nothin' to say to you, boy." He rumbled dangerously.
Naomi bristled as his arm settled like a vice around her waist. She kept her mouth shut as Hale and the Sons concluded their conversation, the thinly veiled threats on either side clearly established. Once the tail-lights of Hale's cruiser had vanished out of the lot, she wriggled out from under Chibs's arm and glowered at him.
"What was that about?" She demanded, her hands on her hips pulling the ugly over-sized overalls tight against her body.
"What?" Chibs snapped aggressively.
"The guard dog routine! The guy only said hello." She protested angrily, staring at her reflection in his glasses as she tried to catch his eye through the tinted glass.
"He's fishing for that Fed." Chibs snarled, suddenly furious with her for being so innocently naive. "Even you should be able to see that."
"Even me?" She repeated icily, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Yes. Even you." He snapped rudely, looking very much like he was about to grab her and shake her.
"What's that supposed to-"
"You need to be smarter than this, or you're gonna get your ass killed." Chibs sneered.
She stared at him as if he'd slapped her. Chibs knew he was going too far, especially in front of Tig and Half-Sack whose heads were swiveling between them like they were watching a tennis match, but he couldn't stop himself. The drama with the club and the pressure to keep her safe and whole and here with him, were boiling over. It didn't make him any calmer that she looked unutterably desirable in those stupid greasy overalls with dirt smudged on her freckled cheek and her slender arms covered in engine-oil.
"Is that what you think of me?" She asked quietly, her voice deceivingly calm and Tig shifted uncomfortably behind them. "Some stupid girl getting other people killed?"
Chibs jutted his jaw, knowing he should take it back but his pride choking the words in his throat. She shook her head, turning away from him and walking right out of the lot. Chibs was rooted to the spot, stunned by the rapid turn of events. He had not meant for things to go that far, he had seen Hale trying to get a hook into her and seen red. Tig and Half-Sack were goggling at him in amazement.
"Should she be out there on her own?" Tig asked curiously, his eyebrows lifting over the rim of his glasses.
"No." Chibs growled dangerously, glaring at the gate where she had disappeared.
Half-Sack mumbled something and Chibs whirled on him, looking for a new outlet for his inexplicable rage.
"You say somethin', boy?"
Half-Sack shrank back from him in surprise.
"Just- just that she doesn't have a cell with her. In… in case something… happens…" He trailed off quietly, not wanting to test his luck with the dangerous look on the Scotsman's face.
Tig was less reticent.
"You gonna go after her or what?"
Chibs shot him a murderous look, turning on his heel and stomping after her.
Naomi only realised how conspicuous she was a few blocks from the garage. The much-too-big overalls were drawing a lot of curious attention to her slender frame and she ducked into a shop doorway to wriggle out of the top part and knot it around her waist and she rolled up the cuffs to just under her knees. She swiped at the dirt on her face, spreading tears everywhere. How could he say those things to her? She was not stupid. She couldn't afford to be anymore. She felt heartbroken, perhaps he had never actually respected her at all to prey on her secret insecurities. She also felt furious, at him and at herself. If he really thought of her that way, then he had used her. And she had let him.
She figured she'd been huddling in the doorway for too long as a passing mother pulled her small child closer to her. Naomi pushed away from the wall and hurried away before someone called the police. She wandered around the streets absently, belatedly realising that she had no money on her.
"Naomi?"
She jumped, startled out of her angry thoughts, and whirled around to see Unser emerging from the barber shop behind her. She scowled at him, preparing herself for a lecture on how she shouldn't be skipping around town on her own with a price on her head. For a long moment he studied her, the defiant tilt of her chin and the wary fire in her eyes.
"Come on." He gestured for her to follow him and she folded her arms defiantly over her chest.
"I'm not going back to the garage." She snapped mutinously.
He stared at her again before letting out a chuckle. He took her elbow and led her down the street and into a diner. It was early afternoon in the middle of the week so the diner was almost deserted and he ushered her into a booth near the back. She slumped sulkily against the plastic table, picking moodily at the peeling menu in front of her.
"Wanna talk about it?" Unser offered after they had placed their orders.
She shook her head.
"No."
Unser laughed again, catching himself in a cough for a moment.
"You know you shouldn't be out here."
She rolled her eyes. Yes she knew. Of course she knew. Now that the initial white-hot rage had dissipated somewhat, the usual ball of fear was back in her belly.
"I don't want to talk about that either."
Unser nodded, leaning back so the waitress could deposit their food on the table. Naomi picked listlessly at the fries on her plate, feeling unutterably miserable. And stupid. She felt exceptionally stupid. She had, quite literally, thrown herself at him for weeks. She had chased after him like some pathetic panting schoolgirl. Of course he was going to take her up on that eventually. She had completely allowed herself to believe her own idiotic fantasies, projected onto him an entire relationship when in reality…
"Kid, there's nothing bad enough that could have happened to put that look on your face." Unser prodded, chewing thoughtfully on his sandwich.
Naomi dropped her head into her hands so he wouldn't see her face. She couldn't believe she had fucked up yet again. All she had to do was keep her head down and testify, save her idiot brother's life so he could make something of himself. She hadn't even managed to do that.
"What's happening with the trial?" She asked suddenly, lifting her eyes to look at Unser as he sipped on his iced tea thoughtfully. "Is it time for me to testify yet?"
He squinted at her.
"Not yet, sweetheart." He finally said, pushing his empty plate away from him. She had only nibbled at a few fries and left her sub completely.
"Can you find out when? I want this over with." She said flatly, avoiding his gaze.
Unser wanted to pet her hand, lying on the table between them anxiously fiddling with a screwed up napkin, but he decided against it in her twitchy state.
"I don't think you should be making any rash decisions, kid." He said gently.
She didn't reply, swirling her straw around in her drink until the ice clashed noisily. Both of them knew that he had no influence whatsoever on the trial and her testimony, he was a small town sheriff doing the Feds a favour.
"I'll speak to the Feds." He finally capitulated, worn down by the sad look in her eyes.
"Noami."
She froze halfway out of the diner door, her shoulders stiffening before Unser and he peeped around her to see what the problem was. Chibs had pulled up on his bike outside the diner, double-parked Unser noted wearily but decided not to point out. Naomi took a deep breath and stepped out of the diner.
"Where have you been?" Chibs demanded angrily, his fear when she had disappeared vanishing in a blaze of anger once he saw she was alright.
"We had lunch." Unser interjected when it was clear that Naomi was not going to respond.
Naomi took the helmet offered to her silently, avoiding Chibs's angry gaze. Unser touched her shoulder lightly.
"I'll speak to the Feds about the trial."
She nodded and offered him a brief tired smile. She climbed onto the back of Chibs's bike without a word. He noticed warily that she did not put her arms around him as she always did, she gripped onto his clothes instead.
When they reached the garage, she tried to disappear into the clubhouse but he caught her wrist before she could escape. She shrugged him off but waited for him to dismount. She still wouldn't look at him.
"Why's Unser want to know about the trial?"
She shot him a dark look so full of disgust that he almost flinched.
"So I can get out of here." She said flatly, stepping back from him.
"Lass, you don't need-"
"Don't tell me what I need to do." She snapped, folding her arms across her chest as she always did when she was feeling vulnerable.
He stared at her, struggling to find a response. He knew he needed to apologise, to tell her what she needed to hear, deserved to hear. He couldn't find the words, he had never been good with words. She shook her head and disappeared into the clubhouse.
"Naomi!"
"I'm going to change my goddamn name." She grumbled irritably to herself as Juice raced over to her the minute she set foot inside the bar.
She forced herself to calm down and not take her emotions out on Juice, blinking innocently at her. She was quite sure that word of her argument with Chibs had spread immediately throughout the garage and clubhouse and she didn't have the energy to talk about it with anyone right now.
"I have a message for you, from Unser."
Juice handed her a piece of paper filled with his chicken-scratch handwriting. It was brief and only said that he had spoken to the Feds working on the trial and that she wasn't needed yet but was required to be ready at any moment.
"Thanks, Juice." She said quietly, folding the paper up and shoving it into the pocket of her overalls.
"Are you… are you leaving?"
She sighed, scrubbing a tired hand over her face.
"At some point."
He gulped and it almost made her smile. She stroked his cheek with her fingertips and he flushed bright red, his gaze avoiding hers.
"Thanks for the message."
She trudged across the clubhouse, nodding and smiling robotically as people greeted her. Finally she made it back to her room. Chibs's room. She closed and locked the door, stripping out of her greasy clothes and climbing straight into the shower. She spent a long time in the hot water, scrubbing every inch of her body methodically, hoping to distract herself from her sour mood. A knock on the door finally convinced her to climb out of her sanctuary. She pulled on a pair of sweats and a top and yanked open the door before whoever was on the other side knocked it down.
"What?"
Half-Sack was peering at her with huge eyes, looking fidgety and nervous. She leaned against the doorframe but didn't invite him in. She knew she was being rude but one of the decisions she had made in the shower was to distance herself from them all. It would make leaving easier, especially since they all thought she was some useless helpless bimbo anyway.
"Juice said… uh… that you… might be leaving?"
She lifted her eyebrows. For a super secret biker gang, none of them knew how to keep their mouths shut worth a damn.
"You knew I was leaving eventually."
Half-Sack shifted from foot to foot, scrubbing a hand into the hair at the back of his head.
"Yeah but not like… not for a while."
He looked so downtrodden that it melted her heart a little and she sighed.
"Kip. I think I'm tired of fighting, you know." She said quietly. "I'm just tired. I'm going to testify and then whatever happens… is going to happen."
"Don't… don't say that." He said weakly and she smiled.
"I won't be your problem for much longer." She held up a hand when he opened his mouth to argue. "But I will miss you."
He turned pink and shuffled shyly on the spot as she leaned over and kissed his forehead briefly. She smiled sadly at him and closed the door, he heard the lock click back into place. He waited for a moment, struggling to put his thoughts in order. He trudged slowly back into the main bar, scowling when he saw Chibs brooding at the bar with a quarter empty bottle of scotch beside him.
Sensing the younger man's fierce gaze, Chibs glowered up at him.
"You should talk to her… tell her… tell her you're sorry." Half-Sack blurted out before he could think better of it.
Chibs's face turned black with anger and Half-Sack hurriedly stepped back to ensure he was not within reach. But his courage was up and he frowned at Chibs in disappointment.
"She's going to leave. If you don't do something." Half-Sack took another step away from Chibs. "So do something."
Chibs watched him hurry away moodily. Juice was at his computer in the corner, quite blatantly moping. Gemma was crossing the clubhouse and her eyes slid his way, her mouth a thin line and he knew she had heard about the argument too. He knew he had to say something to her, he had been way out of line and the things he'd said to her… he hadn't been able to stop himself. That asshole Hale had shook her hand and gave her that smarmy smile and it had rudely reminded him that Hale was the kind of posh prick that she was used to meeting and it had made his blood boil. He had been wrong to take it out on her but he was not the kind of person who knew how to apologise.
He spent another hour working his way through the bottle of scotch and mulling over a lot of things he had been pushing to the back of his mind lately. He watched Juice take food to her room, and return shortly after with most of it still in the bag and a kicked-puppy look on his face. Chibs took a breath, knocked back what was left in his glass, grabbed the half-empty bottle from the bar and slid off the stool.
He actually laughed when he realised that she had locked the door. Yeah… she was pissed. He tapped on the door, leaning his forehead against the wood briefly as the hallway spun around him. After a long moment of silence, he knocked again. He could hear movement in the room. Eventually, the lock clicked and the door opened a fraction. She didn't speak, just stared at him through the gap.
"You gonna let me in?" He slurred and he saw her eyes narrow.
"Wasn't planning on it."
He frowned. This was already not going to plan.
"Come on, lass-"
"Don't even think about it." She interrupted, the door opening a little wider in her anger.
Chibs frowned sulkily, his drunken brain working to figure a way out of this. One that didn't require him to apologise.
"You're not going to slide up here like a snake with your sexy accent and begging eyes." She hissed angrily, the door inching even wider.
"I-"
She shook her head so hard her braid whipped around her shoulders.
"I said no." Her chest was heaving and her cheeks were flushed. "You don't get to say those things and then pretend it didn't happen."
"It did happen." He admitted gruffly, using his free hand to pinch between his eyes where a killer headache was already starting to form.
She tilted her chin, one hand on her hip pulling the shirt tight across her chest. It wasn't one of his shirts, he noted with a jolt. She leaned out of the door and snatched the alcohol from his hand. She turned away and stomped deeper into the room with the bottle, leaving the door open behind her.
He stepped into the room, pushing the door closed behind him and watching as she slumped back against the headboard, drinking from the bottle. If the circumstances had not been what they were, he would have been impressed at the length of the slug she took. He crossed the room and sat in the rickety chair at the desk under the window.
"I said things I shouldn't have, lass." He admitted, feeling his ears burning with embarrassment.
"I am not stupid." She snapped, taking another violent swig from the bottle.
"You certainly ain't." He chuckled but she glowered at him furiously.
"You hurt me." She said sharply and he ducked his head guiltily. "You humiliated me in front of everyone." She swung the hand holding the bottle towards him and he half expected it to come flying at his head. "You had no right to do that."
He nodded, pushing his hands through his hair. The conversation was sobering him up and the guilt was like a hot stone in his chest.
"Tell me why you overreacted." She ordered harshly. "And don't you dare give me any bullshit about jealousy." She whipped the bottle away from her mouth so fast to say this, she dribbled scotch down her chin and onto the t-shirt.
Chibs took a second to formulate his thoughts, idly watching the wet stain on the pale t-shirt spread until he was almost certain he could see a nipple beginning to emerge. He hurriedly looked away before he was distracted.
"Hale." He spat the name out like it was poisonous and she raised her eyebrows. "He's one of those assholes. A posh preppy asshole. The kind of man you're used to." He paused for a moment to lick his dry lips, wishing he had the scotch. "I didn't think about it… until he was here… touching you…"
He saw her shiver, knew she was remembering their times together despite herself and he shifted slightly in the chair. An erection would not help his case right now, unfortunately.
"I guess it made me realise… how much better you deserve…" He mumbled awkwardly, turning away from her.
"That's complete and utter bullshit." She snorted, but the anger had vanished from her voice and he risked a peek at her.
She looked thoughtful, her mouth on the rim of the bottle as if she'd forgotten it was there. He could see the curve of her lips, her tongue poking out slightly as she tasted the scotch on the glass. He must have made a sound because she startled, looking across at him warily.
"You are not off the hook." She said sternly and he fought very hard not to grin.
"You going to lock the door again, lass?" He said cheekily, lifting an eyebrow when she glared at him.
"Would it keep you out?"
He considered for a moment before shaking his head, giving her a predatory look that made her shudder pleasantly. He could see it in her eyes as she considered him. She had not forgiven him, not yet, it was still too fresh, but she wanted him as she always had. He kicked off his boots and crossed the small room towards her. She watched him suspiciously but allowed him to sit beside her on the bed. He took the bottle from her and took a swig, the heady liquor burning down his throat. He shrugged out of his clothes quickly, before she had time to change her mind and kick him out.
"I hated you today, you know." She said sharply as he gently removed her sweats with his spare hand.
"You didn't." He countered, eyeing the wet patch on the t-shirt where he could indeed see a hard nipple peeping through.
"I did." She insisted, snatching the bottle back from his hand.
He placed both of his large hands around her bare ankles and yanked her down the bed. She lay beneath him, glaring up at him and he grinned. He touched the bottle in her hand, tipping it until the liquor spilled over the t-shirt. He dipped his head, sucking the liquor from the material and nipping the swell of her breasts with his teeth. She squirmed beneath him.
"You hurt me and you made me so angry." She said reproachfully, gasping a little as he tugged her nipple between his teeth.
"I know, lass." He conceded, nudging her legs apart with his knee and settling between them.
He removed the bottle from her hand and placed it safely on the bedside table. Her eyes were blazing as she stared up at him and he hesitated. Every other time they had done this they had been passionate and a little wild, carried away by their excitement. This time felt different. The anger that was still there was a hidden undercurrent that was making her sharper with her words and her actions.
"You're not forgiven yet." She put her hands on his shoulders, digging her nails painfully into his skin. "But you better fuck me, Scottish."
He twitched urgently at her rough words but he gave her a moment to change her mind. Instead she wriggled out of the t-shirt, tossing it into the depths of the room. She yanked him down against her roughly, her mouth slanting against his. He kissed her back, slightly wary at the sudden violence she was showing, almost afraid that he was taking advantage of her.
"We don't have to do this, Lass." He tried one last time but she stared up at him hungrily.
"Shut up." She ordered, lifting her hips sharply against his.
He followed her lead, letting her push him where she wanted him as she coiled her legs around his hips. He slipped into her and she sighed, clutching him tightly as he rocked his hips. Her long nails dug into his skin and she was rougher with her teeth than she'd ever been. He knew she was working her anger out this way and he stayed with her, only getting as rough as she prompted. He'd never been into smacking women around in bed and luckily that didn't seem to be what she was after. He pumped his hips harder when she ordered, drilling into her until the whole bed was rocking dangerously. She was panting and her eyes were wild, her hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging and urging him on and he had to concentrate to keep going.
"Chibs." She mewled helplessly, clinging to him tightly. "Please."
He lifted her leg, hooking it over his shoulder so he could go deeper. Her head rolled on the pillow and he knew she was close. He changed his angle slightly and she practically yelped, belatedly clapping a hand over her mouth. She came violently, her whole body tensing and quivering as she bit down on her hand and he finally let himself follow. He collapsed onto her, panting hard. She stayed coiled around him and he could feel her still pulsing around him. When he finally found the energy to move, he realised there were tears on her face.
"Did I hurt-?"
She shook her head, swiping the tears from her cheeks.
"No. It was fantastic, like always." She gave him a wavery grin. "I think it was just a build up of too much shit."
He stroked her cheek gently, peppering her chest with feather-light kisses and holding her as she trembled beneath him. Eventually, she opened her eyes to look at him and he could see that she was much calmer.
