A/N: don't own don't sue

Lyrics at the beginning are from 'Crawling Back to You' by Daughtry

Set around Season One, before Abel is kidnapped and Gemma is raped and Jax turns into a jerk and the whole club hates each other. Generally back when the show had fun and all the coolest characters were still alive. Because I can, it's called artistic license.

Learn My Lesson

Chapter Twenty Six

Lessons learned and bridges burned to the ground
And it's too late now to put out the fire
Tables turned and I'm the one who's burning now
Well, I'm doing alright, 'til I close my eyes
And then I see your face
And it's no surprise
Just like that, I'm crawling back to you
Just like you said I would, yeah
I swallowed my pride, now I'm crawling back to you
Yeah, I'm out of my head, can't wait any longer
Down on my knees, I thought I was stronger
Just like that, like you said I'd do
Yeah, I'm crawling back to you

The longer he went without speaking to her, the angrier he got. He knew it was his own damn fault, but that didn't make it sting any less when he saw her giggling happily with Half-Sack and Juice. Whenever they were in the same room, she looked right past him as if he didn't exist. She spoke to every other person in the damn garage, including the customers, but she didn't have a word for him. Even worse, Happy had stomped into the clubhouse earlier, taken one look at her and then turned a black savage gaze on him.

And the worst part was, it seemed to have all been for nothing. He was just as distracted as he always had been, if not more, because now he had to watch her wherever she went. In the past she'd gravitated towards him so he rarely had to look for her, now she avoided him like the plague. Not knowing where she was at all times was like a particularly painful splinter he couldn't get rid of. Why was he such a stubborn fucking jackass. If he had just spoken to her, there could have been a different way forward.

He'd definitely blown it now. He knew that. Before she had been angry with him, but now she was cold. Ice cold. And she had taken up flirting with Juice, they had always had moments of light flirtation but now she seemed to take pleasure in his admiration for her. Of course she did, because the man she wanted had rejected her. He didn't think she'd actually fuck Juice just to get back at him. Maybe she would because she genuinely did like him, but not out of spite. He hoped.

He forced himself to focus on Jax and Clay, to not watch her as she played pool with Opie and Happy, played a drinking game with Tig and a hopelessly intoxicated Half-Sack, danced with some crow eaters. Generally drifted around spreading fun wherever she went. He realised he'd completely missed half of the conversation and he deliberately turned back to Jax, forcing himself to block her out. It worked too, until the party wound down and he saw her leading Juice by the hand towards the dorm rooms.

Jealousy exploded in his stomach, so powerful that he actually grunted and Tig flicked him a puzzled glance beside him. He waved him off and mumbled something about taking a slash, lurching to his feet a little unsteadily. He shoved a crow eater away from him as she tried her drunken luck, too furious to be gentle. That fucking fucker. It was an explicit unspoken rule that you did not touch another crewmember's woman, at least without their permission. He was going to get his hands around his scrawny neck and choke the life out of him.

Her bedroom door was shut and he paused for a moment, straining to hear any sounds from the room over the distant music. He could hear giggling and his anger blossomed. He raised a fist and pounded on the door. After a long moment, the doorknob turned and the door opened a crack. He belatedly realised that it hadn't even been locked. She was angrier than he had ever seen her, her face flushed a brilliant red with rage and her eyes poisonously dark.

"Yes?"

He stared at her, her wild hair that he loved so much tumbling over her shoulders and her taut body barely disguised by the oversized shirt. A shirt that was not his.

"What do you want?" She snapped, putting her hand on her hip which only drew his attention to her long bare legs as the shirt rode up.

"Juice." He barked, shoving the door open rudely.

She staggered back a step in surprise. He lurched into the room, his gaze fixed on Juice who was sprawled on the bed. The younger man got to his feet awkwardly.

"What the hell are you doing?" Naomi snarled, throwing herself in his path before he could get any further into the room. "Get out of my room, right now."

Chibs ignored her, contemplating how best to get around her and get his hands on Juice.

"In case you've forgotten, you dumped me." She snapped, grabbing his arm and yanking him.

"So you go fuck someone else the first chance you get?" He growled, waving a hand in Juice's directly.

She let out a laugh that had zero amusement in it. Her hands were on her hips again and he tried valiantly not to look at her chest where her nipples had hardened through the thin cotton. Arguing had always turned her on.

"Not that it's any of your business… but we were trying to watch our show." She jabbed him in the chest with each word. "Juice is my friend. I can rely on him." She said pointedly.

She shoved him in the chest and he staggered back a step. She continued to push him towards the door while Juice hovered in the background looking horrified. When she finally managed to eject him into the corridor, she stepped outside to give them some privacy and to stop Juice from having a heart attack.

"Are you serious, right now?" She asked tiredly, leaning back against the closed door.

"He's taking advantage of you." He said sulkily, glaring at the door over her head.

"Don't be ridiculous." She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "If anything I'd be taking advantage of him."

Chibs was silent for a long time, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. Even now he wanted her, he wanted to push her back against that door and take her. To screw the moodiness out of her until she melted into him like she always had.

"Do you like him?" He asked finally, aware he sounded like a sulky child but unable to help himself.

"I like Juice a lot." She glared at him when he opened his mouth. "Yes I even fancy him a bit."

Chibs stewed in his jealousy miserably. He'd thought their code would keep them away from her, he'd forgotten how charming she was.

"I've got no intentions of causing chaos around here by sleeping with anyone."

He was absolutely horrified at the sudden surge of hope that rushed through him. It faded quickly when she turned her icy eyes on him.

"But if I did decide to fuck every single person under this roof… it's none of your business." She pointed out. "You threw me away."

He shook his head, opening his mouth to deny it but she stopped him with a glare.

"It's for the best." He mumbled stubbornly, feeling more miserable with every passing second.

"So you keep saying." She scoffed, shaking her head. "You should go and get some sleep."

He squinted at the door again suspiciously but she only glared at him defiantly. He very much wanted to order Juice out of that room, but he couldn't quite face her wrath if he did. He stared at her, trying to discern if she really was going to do something with Juice to get back at him. He didn't think so. He hoped not. She liked Juice and he knew that she realised that using him in that way would be terribly cruel.

"Goodnight, lass." He finally muttered, contemplating kissing her cheek but dismissing the idea when she still looked so frosty.

"Everything okay?" Juice asked nervously when she returned to her room.

She smiled and shrugged. She didn't have the words to explain what had happened, how satisfying it had been to see him burning with jealousy but how painful it had been to keep her distance.

"Maybe I better-"

Juice edged towards the door but hesitated. She gave him a sad look but didn't attempt to stop him. He knew the bro code, knew he couldn't have her even if she wanted him. She crawled back onto the bed and switched on the TV, flicking through until she found the silly Spanish soap opera they watched together. He knew he should leave, go find Chibs and beg for forgiveness, but he was weak.

He sat tentatively on the edge of the bed.

"If you're staying, take off your boots."

He obeyed immediately, used to following orders. Naomi watched him idly as he settled beside her on the bed. He was very obedient, she wondered if he'd follow orders in bed. She shifted a little, annoyed by the ache between her legs. Arguing with Chibs had always turned her on, but she wasn't going to take advantage of Juice that way. She knew he had a crush on her, and she wasn't going to use that to hurt Chibs. It wouldn't be fair.


The TV was still playing quietly when Juice woke the next morning. It took him a long time to figure out where he was, his muddled head slowly adjusting. Eventually the events of the night before rushed back to him, the argument with Chibs, watching their TV show, falling asleep in the early hours. She was curled up with her back to him, sleeping deeply. The t-shirt had ridden up to expose her thong and he hurriedly averted his gaze. Thank Christ she had her back to him, his morning wood was more than evident. He flushed in embarrassment. They had spoken last night, in the early hours when deep truths didn't seem so forbidden. She had told him gently that she did like him, but nothing would ever happen between them. It had been a bittersweet disappointment but he knew it was for the best.

Now here he was with an erection, trying valiantly not to look at the curve of her buttocks on full display beside him. He gingerly pulled the sheets up to cover her and slipped out of the bed before he did something stupid. Adjusting his jeans so his problem wasn't quite so obvious, he crept out of the room. He could hear movements in the main area of the clubhouse but he scuttled down the hall instead. It was only as he opened the door to his room, that it struck him Chibs might have crashed there now Naomi had kicked him out. He let out a gasp of relief when the room was empty and as he'd left it. It would have been painfully awkward to explain leaving his ex's room with a rock hard dick first thing in the morning.

He shrugged out of his clothes and jumped into the shower, keeping the temperature a little colder than usual to cool himself down. He could be friends with her, he knew that, but he could not share a bed with her again. It was too hazardous to his health. He wasn't as stupid as everyone thought he was, he could see as plain as day that the two of them were still in love with each other. Any interference would only be temporary and cause issues. No matter how tempting. He glanced down. The cold water hadn't helped. With a martyred sigh, he took hold of himself. He did try his best not to think about her as he got to work, friends don't jerk off thinking about other friends after all, but the image of her astride Chibs, the rippling muscles of her back and the swell of her buttocks as she rode him had been emblazoned on the back of his eyelids ever since he'd seen it.

When he was done he washed himself thoroughly and wandered back into his room to get dressed and get to Church. He let out a yelp of surprise when he found Chibs leaning against his bedroom door. His hands immediately flew to cover his genitals. The crew were not shy around each other, but if Chibs was here to beat the shit out of him he wanted his most precious assets protected. Chibs had a face like thunder and he pointed at the bed. Juice obediently sat down, trying to angle his body away from his friend.

"Nothing happened." He blurted quickly, desperately hoping that Chibs hadn't just heard him jerk off in the shower to the image of his ex. "I swear."

Chibs didn't reply, just studied him in dangerous silence. Juice swallowed nervously. He liked Chibs a lot, respected the hell out of him and he liked to think he wouldn't ruin their friendship and his trust by going after his ex. The ex he clearly still had a thing for.

"Nothing happened." He repeated miserably, half wishing he had made a pass at Naomi now if he was going to get punished either way.

"Make sure it doesn't." Chibs growled warningly.

"Can I ask-" Chibs paused, already halfway out of the door. "Why?"

"You need me to explain loyalty to you, boy?" Chibs thundered angrily but Juice quickly threw up his hands, his face flushing.

"No no! I meant… why aren't you with her?" Juice fidgeted under Chibs's fierce gaze.

"None of your business."

Chibs slammed the door behind him and Juice let out a sigh of relief that he was still in once piece.


After their awkward night, Naomi and Juice separated themselves a little. She didn't want to come between him and his family, especially when she couldn't fully give him what he wanted. And especially when she was still in love with somebody else. They were still friends and he still did anything she ever asked of him, but they were never alone in her room together again. Instead she spent most of her time trying to cheer up a moping Half-Sack who was not happy Cherry was having to leave.

"I'm sure you'll see her again." She reassured him patiently after spending yet another hour listening to him pour his heart out.

No one else would listen to him so she had agreed to let him talk, while he trained her behind the bar. Now she wasn't disappearing with Chibs for quickies in dark corners, she had a surprising amount of time on her hands to kill. She was getting the hang of working behind the bar, memorising the liquors and where everything was kept. She had wanted to learn cocktails but Tig had laughed so hard when he heard her asking, he'd slid off his stool. Maybe a biker bar wasn't the place to serve cocktails, but she'd still thrown a glass at Tig's head to stop him laughing everytime he saw her behind the bar. She wasn't sure how, but word of her split with Chibs seemed to have circulated because every person she served a drink to at the bar, tried his best to chat her up. At first she'd been confused, then annoyed and now it was just amusing. A little flirtation never killed anyone, but she made sure to never accept any invitations to disappear outside with them. Honestly, she was trying to find things to keep her occupied because she was absolutely dreading the night Chibs finally took a crow eater back to his room with him.

The party was dragging tonight, everyone was tense because ATF were still sniffing around but putting on a front of not being bothered. She slipped out from behind the bar to use the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror for a long time. How had her life even become this. Because her brother was a dumbass, she thought wryly. The door behind her opened and she froze. Chibs's face was expressionless but his eyes were tired. She fought the urge to kiss the black rings under his eyes, to run her fingers through his hair soothingly.

"If you're here for a quickie, you can fuck off." She said flatly, turning away from him even as her nipples hardened at the thought.

"No, lass." His voice rumbled over her nerves and she shuddered. Nobody had any right being that fucking attractive. "What's going on with your brother?"

She stared at him through the mirror in disbelief.

"Are you for real?" He scowled at her stubbornly. "We've been back for days."

He shrugged one shoulder.

"You haven't been speaking to me."

She clutched hold of the sink tightly to stop from punching him.

"That's because you broke up with me." She pointed out nastily. "What are you really here for? And don't feed me any more bullshit, I know perfectly well that Juice has kept you up to date on my family."

He was silent for a long time, staring at her through the mirror longingly.

"What is this, Scottish?" She asked quietly. "Are you regretting it?"

His eyes slid away from hers and she knew she'd hit home. Well tough. If he thought she'd crumble and throw herself at him, he was very much mistaken. If he wanted her back, he better fucking grovel.

"I don't hear an apology." She said, lifting her eyebrows at him.

"Lass-"

"Don't even think about it." She cut him off before he could get stroppy. "You threw me away like I was nothing, you used me and then you dropped me. No amount of manipulation is getting you out of that." She pushed away from the sink and straightened her shoulders haughtily. "If you want me back, you better work for me. And an apology is the bare fucking minimum to start with."

She shoved past him, holding her breath at his proximity.