In the wake of a very disturbing argument, Harry tries to keep an eye on an unexpectedly emotional wife while his family get up to things.
And Harry discovers something about himself.
Harry got up gingerly, so as not to wake Daphne, went to the loo, put on some slippers and went to see the nursery. Daphne had been so upset yesterday, which was wholly out of character for her, she was smart, collected, calm, well sometimes angry, it was like… professor McGonnagal suddenly encouraging frivolity. Harry suspected it might be hormones, but liked his scrotum as it was.
Harry opened the nursery door, and the smell of baby, concentrated enveloped him. It wasn't all nappy and sick – there was a powdery smell under all that, which had Harry remembering the other four as babies, and the continuous verbal sniping Daphne and Ginny had engaged in. Near the four cots, each with two babies, Lavender slept on the nursing chair, a pile of knitting on her lap.
Harry went to see his children, and changed three nappies before Lavender woke up. He felt quite like he was getting back into the hang of being a dad.
"Lo Harry" she croaked.
"Lavender, you're a dear" said Harry "Go have a proper nap."
"Mrgh" said Lavender, and she left for hopefully her own bed.
Harry, having had a long sleep, checked the remaining five nappies and when that was all behind him, and squealing began, called Kreacher.
"Kreacher!"
The old elf appeared with a pop.
"Baby Bottles Kreacher." said Harry, feeling like helping – it would give Daphne a rest, and she'd regain her calm, stop panicking about the babies. Who would, as Harry walked Alexander up and back, trying to calm him, all probably be magical anyway. Harry suspected that squibs were as much a product of inbreeding as anything else.
Kreacher appeared with a pop, carrying a wicker basket of baby bottles.
"Mistress is most particular – " began Kreacher.
"I still know how to feed a baby" said Harry, and he took a bottle, and started feeding Alexander.
Harry had fed Alexander, Juno, Diana, and Owen, when the door opened and Daphne came in, to stop stock still. She was, Harry noted wearing a lacy house-coat.
"Harry?" she asked "Have you been feeding them."
"I've done four" said Harry proudly nodding.
"You … Stupid man!" Daphne snapped, and her bare feet pounded across the floor to check on the babies. Harry felt a surge of indignation – he was helping dammit.
Daphne picked up Lucy and Francis, and sat on the nursing chair, kissing their foreheads. They piped down a little, and Daphne reached into a robe-pocket, took out a vial and swigged some mysterious black potion. Which by the grimace tasted vile.
"Now, control yourself" said Daphne, and Harry wondered why – then the robe started to bulge over her bust. Daphne pulled the top open, revealing two… hugely engorged breasts, which she attached a clutching baby to both of.
"That's new" said Harry, staring at Daphne's nursing bust. Her huge nursing bust.
"Precisely calculated doses to supplement eight children, and you've spoiled it." said Daphne.
"Do they go down afterwards?" asked Harry "I would have noticed those last night."
"There's an antidote – I don't need to traipse about with these" said Daphne "And get your mind out of the gutter- these are for the children. Not you."
"You're perfectly formed without nursing potions" said Harry, adjusting his pyjamas.
"I knew you'd be weird about this" said Daphne, feeding two babies. Harry thought that that was a bit hypocritical for someone who had a marathon rant about the children and their possible magic, or lack thereof last night.
Daphne fed Lucy and Francis for some time, finally handing them to Harry "Fill them up with bottle now". Harry stared at Daphne's – much larger than when she was breast-feeding Henry breasts.
Daphne pulled her robe shut with a huff, and went to get the last two – Antoinette and Steven out of their cots.
Daphne sat down with them, kissed them a little murmuring to the babies that 'Yes mummy is going to feed you right now' then she pulled open her robe-top and latched on two babies. She held Antoinette and Steven gently and slowly her face relaxed, and she started pecking the crowns of their heads with little kisses. She kept feeding them for ages, and her bust visibly deflated, and finally, Antoinette and Steven made the sort of pushing gestures full babies made, and Daphne handed them off to Harry. Daphne summoned a flannel, wiped up her breasts, and pulled her robe shut, and found another vial in her robe pocket – and the turquoise potion clearly tasted as vile as the black one. Daphne rested her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. The effect of the potion was immediate shrinkage of Daphne's bust to normal post-Henry proportions.
Daphne opened her eyes "And no, before you ask I'm not putting off taking the antidote till after you've had a go at me. I'm not walking with those monsters – they weigh tons."
"You could lie on your back" Harry suggested.
"Harry, much as you must miss breasts given your upbringing," said Daphne tiredly "I'm not taking lactation boosting potions for your sexual gratification."
Harry handed Antoinette and a bottle to Daphne, and fed Steven. Daphne kissed Antoinette's tiny nose – but Antoinette was intent on feeding.
Harry walked over to Daphne, knelt while feeding Steven and kissed Daphne on the crown of her head.
"What was that for?" asked Daphne, looking up.
"You look beatific feeding two at once" admitted Harry.
"It's a nuisance, but we are getting all our children over and done with at once" said Daphne.
"You don't feel beatific?" asked Harry.
"I feel like a cow" said Daphne, after a moments' hesitation. "I'll have to make a note of who didn't get breast, and feed those four only bottle at next feeding, to even it out. Their growth and development rates could be effected."
Harry changed some post-feeding nappies. He lost count of how many.
"We do have to get to work today as well" said Daphne, holding Antoinette over her shoulder.
Harry wished for an instant that the Hallows were lost, that all there was to do was eight infants. They might smell sometimes, but there weren't inferii. And they made his heart feel… all warm.
"If you really wanted to help you could take the potion yourself" said Daphne casually.
"And have boobs?" croaked Harry.
"I might like it, for all you know that's a kink of mine" said Daphne.
"Not wearing boobs out of the house" said Harry.
"So you'd consider it?" asked Daphne, and Harry could hear a faint tinge of teasing in her voice.
"No" said Harry "I'll do nappies."
"Fine, I suppose have some boundaries to what you'd do for your newborn children" said Daphne.
"I'd get laughed at. At home if nowhere else" said Harry. "Would it even undo fully?"
"I haven't checked for men" said Daphne casually. "If I was outed as wanting a shemale though, you'd just be stared at."
Harry caught her eye, which was glinting with amusement. "No" said Harry. "Extra snuggles for the little spoon tonight."
"But what if I don't want to be the little spoon" said Daphne.
"You always want to be the little spoon" countered Harry.
Having fed and changed all eight, Daphne called for Kreacher.
"Kreacher!"
Kreacher appeared, holding a porcelain cup that smelt of coffee- and Daphne started sipping it.
"Coffee?" asked Harry.
"Espresso. After feeding, it could affect them otherwise" said Daphne.
"How much coffee are you drinking?" asked Harry, as causally as possible.
"A double-shot at breakfast and another at lunch – hardly anything" said Daphne.
Harry wondered, how much of the irritability was too much coffee?
"Could Lavender use the potion too?" asked Harry. "Halve the work for you"
"I can breast-feed my own children!" said Daphne.
"There are eight dear, four each?" asked Harry "This is loads of work, and I'm worried about you."
"Worried about me?" asked Daphne, one hand to her chest in surprise.
"My darling beautiful clever wife is worried, and over-tired" said Harry "Of course I'm worried. You're the hardest working person I know, and you're not normally irritable… well not unless you haven't had enough sex."
"Not everything is about sex!" snapped Daphne.
Harry cuddled her instead. "We'll still be late for work" said Daphne.
When Daphne entered her space-expanded wardrobe to change, Harry apparated downstairs to the kitchen, and found Kreacher washing baby bottles.
"Kreacher" said Harry, Kreacher stilled and turned his head. "What?"
"Mistress's coffee. You will make it a single-shot espresso, and top it up with… I dunno, decaf" said Harry.
Kreacher hunched sulkily "Mistress ordered a double shot espresso" he croaked.
"Kreahcer" said Harry softly "If you disobey me, I will give you clothes, then take you to the Minister of Magic, Ms Granger, who will treat you fairly and kindly, and never let you touch the houses of the house of Black ever again"
Kreacher's ears shook with barely suppressed rage. "The Mud-"
Harry lifted one finger "Kreacher, I have told you before, you many not say that."
"Mistress calls her an interfering busybody" said Kreacher.
"She is that" said Harry cheerily. "And she means well. And she just wants to help poor deluded old house elves like you" said Harry. He smiled, and he knew it didn't reach his eyes.
"Master is unspeakably cruel" grumbled Kreacher.
"Kreacher, your mistress, my wife, my dearest heart is too worried about the babies possibly being squibs. She's drinking too much coffee and not sleeping well. Her happiness, my children's happiness matters to me. Less caffeine for her, regardless of what she says. That, Kreacher is an order. Don't make me have to kill you, and bring you back." said Harry.
Kreacher bowed his head "Master is great, master is terrible." he croaked "It will be as master wishes."
"Kreacher, things are not as I wish, because Daphne is worried. When Daphne is unhappy, the sun does not shine."
"Kreacher understands. Kreacher could… check if the new babies are squibs." croaked the house-elf.
"Kreacher, if you do anything to even potentially harm my children, I will spend a year killing you, then bringing you back, so I can do it again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" said Harry, biting down the urge to just draw his wand, to turn Kreacher into so much ash.
Kreacher dropped his brush, turned and leapt at Harry's feet. The weird old house-elf kissed Harry's boots "Yes Master" he croaked. "Master and mistresses babies will be kept safe. Master is such a good master."
Kreacher knelt and looked up at Harry from right in front of him. "Bad Master Sirius is not a proper master." he croaked "He has not made heirs of the blood for Black. He won't even sleep with the French witch."
"Kreacher. Less spying on Sirius. He's not sleeping with his friend. That's okay. We've got Teddy as heir." said Harry, wondering why Sirius hadn't slept with Mme Battencourt. She'd kind of migrated into a studio on the south wing of the manor where she could paint and sleep nearby. The Painting and photographing raised spirits stuff happened there now, which meant Daphne wasn't stealing his hallows at night.
Harry scratched the back of his head. Surely that couldn't be it? Daphne was far too tired and worried to shag all night. The last few years of pretending to fall asleep in bed had been… hard work.
"Now half decaf, understand?" said Harry, Kreacher nodded, and padded over and picked up his bottle brush.
"Kreacher, thank you so much for helping with the babies." said Harry, and he apparated back to his bedroom.
Daphne was sitting at her vanity, painting her face with foundation.
She turned her head "What have you been doing?" she asked "You're not dressed. We'll be late for work."
Harry stood behind Daphne and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She leaned back slightly into his touch. "No!" said Daphne, "We're already late, another hour and the whole department will be in chaos."
Harry kissed the top of her head "Tonight, we're going somewhere romantic and having a nice meal, and then ..."
"I don't have TIME" said Daphne "I've got eight children to feed, and then I need to check their growth rates."
"Darling" said Harry "I'm quite sure all our children will be magical. It's probably inbreeding that causes squibs."
"Hermione gave me a paper about chromosomal crossover during fertilisation" said Daphne "It's possible that despite Henry being an excellent child, genes we have could combine unfavourably in some … of our children. There's a thing called copy number variation that could destroy the gene complex for magical power." She was stiff under his arms.
"Darling, come on. We're so distantly related, it'll be all right" said Harry. He closed his eyes, and after a little while Daphne harrumphed, but relaxed against his chest.
"Darling?" asked Harry.
"You never call me that" said Daphne.
"I do now" said Harry "Have you um… " Harry wondered how you ask. Damn it, Gryffindors charge forward. "Have you been getting enough sex?" he asked. Without choking with embarrassment.
"It's been perfectly fine" said Daphne.
"It's just I was thinking… you haven't had to steal the Hallows from me for a while since Colette's been using them,… would a long hard night help?"
"As if" said Daphne "Harry, I love you, and you're a great lover, but, my worries are not all the product of not being shagged until I'm nearly unconscious. I have eight babies, I'm worried."
Harry wondered what to do, having a quick shower in the en-suite – the Manor was so much more luxurious than Grimmauld place, and getting dressed seemed to be the best thing to do.
"Besides" said Daphne "If anyone would be suffering from sex-marathon withdrawal it would be you. You're the one that was getting shagged unconscious after all."
"I was faking it" admitted Harry.
"Bullshit Harry, you can't fake coming." said Daphne stiffly.
"I was faking unconsciousness. Well, for the last few months of it" said Harry. "My fitness improved."
"Liar" said Daphne "I licked… places to check. You didn't move. And I put on a little show, and you didn't grab me."
"I wanted you to settle down to sleep" said Harry. "You'd done enough."
"Asshole" said Daphne. Harry bent his head to kiss Daphne's head again, and saw a pair of familiar pebbled bumps in Daphne's house-coat.
Instead of kissing, he lowered his right arm and delicately cupped her right breast. Daphne gasped, and inhaled.
"We'll be late" Daphne protested. The pad of Harry's thumb rubbed her nipple. "There's not time" she complained huskily. Harry's other thumb rubbed her other nipple. Daphne tipped her head back and eyed Harry. "There's not time. I'm going to be horny all day now."
"Dinner, feed the children and onto this bed." said Harry "And I'll see about giving you enough O pluses to make you sleepy." His hands slipped across her robe under the fabric, and both his bare fingers tweaked her hard nipples "And maybe a quickie or two at lunch." Daphne lifted one arm and looked at her watch. "We're late already Harry" she said.
"Fuck it," said Harry, and he drew his wand 'Expecto Patronum!' he cast and Prongs jetted into being, and snorted and stamped back and forth.
"Prongs… Alsace Flabert, Department of Necromancy. Director Black is unexpectedly detained, and will not be in the office today. Her health should improve tomorrow" said Harry, Prongs snorted and dashed off through the wall.
"I'm not ill" said Daphne.
Harry ripped his pyjamas off, and knelt, seized Daphne by the thighs and back, lifted, hardly even feeling any pain, and carried her to bed.
"We can't just skive off work to shag" said Daphne indignantly.
Harry lay her on the bed, and knelt next to her "I just did" he said, and bent to kiss her.
"You brute!" she said, but kissed back anyway, her arms pressing at Harry's shoulders.
Harry trailed kisses down Daphne's neck, and she sighed. "I haven't had anything to eat" she complained.
"Oh, you'll get plenty" said Harry. "KREACHER!"
There was a pop behind Harry.
"Master" croaked Kreacher.
"A Breakfast tray, and one at lunchtime" said Harry.
"Yes Master" said Kreacher "Will Kreacher be required to swing the spiked bat?" asked Kreacher. "Fuck off Kreacher" said Harry, and there was another pop behind him.
Daphne giggled "Kreacher in leather with a spiked bat beating your bum" she said, laughing.
Harry swung his leg over and sat astride Daphne, pulling her top open.
"Brute" said Daphne, wiggling her hips slightly, and reaching towards the bedposts with both hands. "A poor innocent witch, forced by her lustful husband to depravity" she said., and fluttered her eyelashes. Harry moved his hands and held both her wrists, and Daphne turned her head to one side stagily, inhaling deeply "Oh woe is me" she said.
Harry summoned some scarves.
"Not conjured" said Daphne.
"You could wandlessly vanish a conjuration" said Harry, winking.
"Oh you monster" said Daphne huskily.
…
Some time later, Harry hand-fed a naked, gently restrained Daphne breakfast.
"You could untie my hands, you know" she said.
" A poor innocent witch, forced by her lustful husband to depravity" said Harry "Her poor, powerless writhing."
"More marmalade on the next toast finger" said Daphne.
Harry carefully did indeed put more marmalade on the next toast finger he hand-fed to Daphne.
"I'm getting cold" said Daphne.
Harry pointed an index finger at the fireplace, and a gout of flames lit it… and burnt the flower arrangement a little.
"Wandlessly?" she said "You can do one that big wandlessly?" She licked her lips "You've been holding out on me."
…
Harry lay on the bed, rolled up in the duvet cover with Daphne. "Nearly time for lunch, do you think?" asked Harry.
"I don't know" said Daphne "I want to check on my babies"
"That would mean clothes." said Harry.
"I'll put on my house-coat, and go" said Daphne "It's just down the hall"
"You'll need to wear knickers." said Harry. "Or you'll drip."
"There's a charm for that" said Daphne, then Harry slid his hands down Daphne's back and she gasped.
"Daph?" asked Harry softly "Why do you… um… gasp when I touch you unexpectedly.?"
"I don't" said Daphne.
"You just did." said Harry. "Delphini pushes us together in public, and I seem to remember one touch of anywhere off limits in public, and you gasp like I'd just… Daphne Greengrass? Do you find my touch extremely stimulating?"
"Hardly at all" said Daphne hastily.
"Well if you rub against me in public I get hard immediately, just saying" said Harry.
"Which is why you have to wear robes, lest people see your priapic state" said Daphne.
"Delphini's been making sure we touch for her whole life" mused Harry, moving one hand slightly.
"No" said Daphne sharply "It's not your birthday."
Harry battered the duvet cover off them, and stood up, naked and walked to the en-suite, his back raked with red lines, starting the shower.
"Why are you hogging the shower?" asked Daphne, standing up, and stretching.
"Because I'm sticky" said Harry. "And I need to wash the scratches"
Daphne padded into the en-suite and washed, Harry dabbing at his back with dittany on a cotton bud.
A little later, Daphne, hair wet, left the suite in her house-coat and a pair of mohair slippers, and padded down to the nursery, where eight babies were being fed.
"Daphne?" croaked Lavender "I thought you'd be at work."
"I was detained." said Daphne drily, and she went to kiss Antionette.
"How are my babies?"
"They all seem fine now. Harry started feeding them – "
"I'm aware. He's been reeducated" said Daphne.
"Oh… kinky day" said Lavender. "That could keep a witch busy for ages."
"Harry has some silly idea I'm overtired" said Daphne.
Lavender rolled her eyes "Course not. You're only breastfeeding eight, mothering five, and running an entire department, piece of cake."
Daphne crossed her arms over her chest "Are you implying that I'm overtired?"
"Before these eight, you never drank coffee unless you were stealing it from Harry" said Lavender. "Now you're on how many a day?"
"Two cups" said Daphne "Quite within best-practice guidelines for breastfeeding mothers."
Lavender nodded "You are a silly cow, you know that? Worrying about squibs when you got Harry Potter."
"There's a risk surrogacy, by not exposing the child to a mothers magic, somehow impair development of magical power" said Daphne.
Lavender shook her head. "The Dark Lord Pinescrew, the one that used Surrogates, had an army of sons, all magical" said Lavender.
"He used captured witches" said Daphne.
"Nope" said Lavender shaking her head "I checked… got Ron to check in DMLE records. Muggles. How would someone, even a dark lord get hundreds of witches?"
"It was muggles?" asked Daphne, eyebrows up.
"DMLE records show it was muggles, he apparently used a convent, which is a building full of Nuns. So much obliviation." said Lavender. "Goes to show –"
"That means" said Daphne, jumping up and down in her slippers "My Children will all be magical."
Lavender nodded "I've been saying that for months" she croaked.
"But… My babies!" said Daphne, and she dashed from one to the other, picking up startled babies, kissing their little faces and holding them high in the air "My Alexander." she said, kissing his little nose "Who's going to rule the world? Yes you are, yes you are" she cooed.
Lavender face-palmed.
Once Daphne had slightly manically cooed over every baby she dashed off.
"Completely mental" observed Lavender. "Harry makes her harmless, but completely mental."
Harry was lying on the bed in a bathrobe, picking at a lunch a tray when the door burst open and Daphne ran in, her hair streaming behind her .
"Is everything all right?" asked Harry.
Daphne grabbed her wand, and flicked it at the door, which squished into the wall. "Everything's Perfect" she said, eyeing the tray of lunch "You started without me?"
"Hungry."
"Lavender got Ron to look up the Dark Lord Screwpine; the one that made a surrogate army… He used Nuns.., muggles. Isn't' that wonderful!"
"I would have said Horrible and awful" said Harry.
Daphne waved her wand, sending a shower of sparks across the room, that formed the words.
'Muggles gave birth to his army' in a silver ribbon.
"It's proven. Surrogates don't increase the risk of squibs" said Daphne. "My babies are safe!"
Harry nodded. "So… less worrying?"
Daphne nodded "With our highly different genetics, there's no real risk of an endogenous squib." She sat on the bed back to the pillows . And levitated over the lunch tray. "Hmm" she said "Sandwiches.", and ate an egg and cress.
"So you're feeling less worried" asked Harry.
"I was never worried" said Daphne primly. Harry rolled his eyes. "Daph, you ranted for ages last night." he said.
"Don't call me that. It's undignified" said Daphne.
"Daphne, darling, sweetheart, love of my life" said Harry deadpan "You're allowed to be happy."
"I'm fine" said Daphne, eating a radish carved to look like a flower.
Harry banished the lunch tray, and sized her hands "Daphne. Stop bottling up your bloody feelings. This is me. Harry. I love you, you grumpy cow."
"Don't call me a cow." said Daphne "I have eight babies to breastfeed!"
"You were a grumpy cow before that" said Harry, and he crawled up Daphne's' body and kissed her on the lips "I remember kissing my fiancee, Daphne Greengrass, and she teased me about blowjobs, and I licked her off in her bed at home at Grimmauld place."
Daphne blushed slightly.
"Then said…I suppose you can mount me" said Harry, nuzzling her ear.
"Fine… you can mount me again" said Daphne noncomittally.
Harry kissed Daphne on the tip of her nose "We never did shag over the couch in your old bedroom" said Harry. "Hmm… some tight jeans, a tight jersey…"
"Are you suggesting" said Daphne huskily "We skive off and reenact our first eight congresses"
"I'm suggesting" said Harry licking Daphne's throat "We go shag over the couch in your other bedroom."
"I don't even HAVE those underwear anymore" said Daphne, arching her back.
"That's fine. You can be naked under the jeans and jersey" said Harry cheerfully.
"Ouch no." said Daphne, wiggling out of bed, and disappearing into her wardrobe.
"Is that the same wardrobe as your one at Grimmauld place?" asked Harry. It looked quite similar.
Daphne stuck her head out "The contents are the same, the doors are different. It's a security risk to have portals. Oh, and apparently it's dangerous to have someone in both wardrobes at the same time. If person A picks up my green hat and Person B tries at the same time… well the folded space can be a bit sharp apparently. Next thing, you've got an accidental opening in the back of the wardrobe to some random place."
"Why own one?" Harry asked, wondering where she got this stuff from.
"Saves me having to move my clothes" said Daphne "It's always in my wardrobe, wherever I am."
"The risks?" asked Harry, starting to worry about Daphne's safety apropos to her wardrobe.
"That confectioner in Gastronom Alley. Jadis, she makes Turkish delight?" said Daphne, coming out wearing faded jeans and a jumper. The jumper covered her hips, but the legs of the jeans and the bust of the jumper were tight.
"Not as loose as Hermione's mother's jeans" said Harry.
"Don't just lie there looking sexy, get dressed" said Daphne, preening a little.
Harry put some clean pants on, an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans that still fit. All his clothes where spread around here and Grimmauld place.
"Getting lipo' at St Mungos was cheating" said Daphne, eying Harry's flat stomach as he did up some trainers.
"Why mention Jadis?" asked Harry. "Want some Turkish delight?"
"She had one wardrobe at home, and in the flat over her shop. There was a problem with her sister pinching her favourite shawl, and next thing Jadis knows, her bloody wardrobe had a wall missing that connected into some stupid alternate earth."
"Oh" said Harry "Sounds quite entertaining."
"No witches or wizards there, so Jadis did pretty well for herself, got some local clout. She couldn't find the bally doorway to get home anymore; she was a bit stuck." said Daphne.
"And you found out how?" asked Harry.
"My old job as… an investigator" said Daphne "Jadis was missing for years, her wardrobe at the shop was eventually checked, and we noticed it was malfunctioning."
"Oh… a case sort-of." said Harry.
"A bunch of muggle kids found the other wardrobe eventually, came over, and nearly killed her." said Daphne. "Poor dear, I mean, she could manage some talking animals, but the bloody muggle children, she's just a confectioner."
Harry crossed his arms and glared "And you bought wardrobes like it just to save on clothes juggling, even though you know they can go wrong? They sound expensive too."
"Free" said Daphne "These are Jandis's old pair."
"You're using a malfunctioning folded space wardrobe pair that have already dumped a witch in some weird alternate world for years? Are you sure you're not a Gryffindor." said Harry "I absolutely forbid you to use them ever again. You're far too precious to lose."
"As long as you don't walk to the back of the fur coat section, it's perfectly safe" said Daphne "Having a pre-existing fault makes them quite a lot safer; the stress from the folded space already goes somewhere." she added.
Harry closed his eyes "This is what I get for being married to an unspeakable." he said.
"Ex unspeakable" said Daphne. "And who's all high and mighty. Forbidding me to do things? Who do you think you are?"
Harry opened his eyes and directed an unblinking gaze at Daphne "Your husband. The one who'd lose his mind if you went missing. The one with known problems with doing reckless acts."
Daphne looked off and to the side shyly "Oh. Harry." she said.
"Come on, let's go play a game at Grimmauld." said Harry.
"I suppose" said Daphne, slipping on some trainers, and lifting the hem of the jersey to expose the bum of her jeans. "What do you think?" Harry stared at the tight denim, stretched over Daphne's callipygian arse. He shot across the room, holding Daphne, and his hands clung to her arse.
Daphne looked up at his face "Well. That's got your attention. I ass-ume I'm going to enjoy what you've got planned. Unlike our honeymoon."
Harry groaned "I won't try that again."
"Come on, we've got a couch to go christen" said Daphne, and she giggled.
Harry growled.
-==0==-
Delphini was trying to find her favourite shoes; they weren't at the manor, and they weren't at her place in Monaco. She stepped out of the fireplace at Grimmauld place in a sensible, easy to wash dress, and looked around the kitchen; oddly cold as the stove was off, with everyone living at the Manor now.
She apparated up to the fourth floor, and walked from the landing to her … the door had a sign.
'Absolutely no admission without permission from Regulus Black'
She huffed, and apparated down to the third floor, and opened the door to the room daddy had made for her when Uncle Regulus was resurrected. She walked into her room, and looked around. Open drawers, stuff on the floor, bed unmade. Exactly how she'd left it. With Kreacher at the Manor, he clearly didn't come and mess up her room her 'tidying' it.
Delphini knelt and looked under her bed, and saw a lost sock, a discarded nightgown, and some bobby pins.
From the floor came a rhythmic thudding sound. Which was odd, as nobody lived here anymore.
Delphini got out from under the bed, and wished she didn't have a little sister who borrowed things. It led to charming all your things un-summonable, and that led to having to look for your favourite shoes.
Delphini stood up and drew her wad, and on the way to the door, saw her favourite shoes, the strappy sandals, hanging on the coat-hook on the back of the door. Oh, there they were.
She shoved them into a space-expanded pocket, drew her wand, and headed down the stairs.
At the landing, the thudding noise was louder. Coming from mummy's room. Or perhaps lower, from the library?
Delphini gingerly opened the door, and the noise was coming from inside the room.
Rhythmic thuds, and now the door was open, she could hear faint fleshy slapping noises. Her face reddened. Oh no. Not again, she thought. Warm air billowed around her ankles.
"Mum, DAD! Some bloody silencing charms!" she shouted.
The thudding noises stopped immediately, and she distinctly heard her father snorting with amusement.
"Harry!" scolded her mothers … extremely husky voice. Hell that had practically been a purr.
"Aren't you two supposed to be at work!" said Delphini around the door.
"We're taking a rest day" said her father.
"Do close the door dear" said her mother huskily.
Delphini closed and cast an imperturbable charm on the door.
She left Grimmauld place before something else dreadful happened. Other people's parents didn't shag like … lust crazed teenagers, she was sure.
[AN: Yes, Jadis the confectioner got slandered in CS Lewis's Narnia series. Poor dear.]
