On the morning after the 4th of July party, Hailey was expecting things between her and Jay to be weird, but as she's come to realize, Jay Halstead was anything but predictable. He'd simply come into the diner with Leiv and given her one of his easy smiles, ordering his breakfast like nothing happened.
It happened. She knows what happened in his kitchen that day wasn't in her head and while neither have brought it up, things between them have definitely shifted once again.
She's lost count of the amount of times he's 'accidently' touched her or how often his gaze lingers for an almost inappropriate amount of time. It used to bother her, the way he looked at. It was a big reason she was always so guarded around him. Not anymore. Holding his gaze is easier and easier everyday and if she's being honest, she stares at him just as often.
There's this feeling she gets…when his eyes connect with hers. At the beginning, she was sure it was fear. A tightening, tensing of her body, almost like it was muscle memory. She was wrong though. This wasn't fear. There's a warmth that spreads through her too, always settling low in her stomach. For the first time in longer than she can remember, she feels alive. She's letting people in, letting her guard down, getting comfortable.
And that was her first mistake.
"Oh my gosh…is that your feet?" Hailey suppresses the urge to gag when Levi climbs into his dad's truck. Jay was working and Levi had a game so Hailey had offered to take him. She'd been a little surprised when Jay had handed her the keys to his truck, telling her to be careful. His truck is probably his next greatest love after his son and he'd just given her the thing.
"My cleats, actually." Levi chuckles, sounding so much like Jay that Hailey can't help but smile.
"Oh gross." At the next light, Hailey grabs his bag, shoving it through the back window of the truck. Maybe they'll air out by the time they get back.
She spends the drive listening to Levi give a play by play of the game like she wasn't sitting in the stands the entire time cheering him on. She loves how animated he is.
"Coach said if we make it to the championships next month that I could be selected for MVP. That's Most Valuable Player…" Levi explains.
"You know…I did play soccer all through high school." She's won her fair share of awards. "You had an amazing game tonight. You're very aware of your teammates on the field. That's a really important thing to have. You should…Shit!" Hailey slams the brakes, jerking the truck hard to the left, narrowly avoiding getting side swiped.
"What's he doing?" Levi braces his hands on the dash, looking worriedly at Hailey.
She doesn't answer. The dark SUV that almost hit them is reversing…fast.
"Hailey!"
The fear in his voice shocks her into movement. The truck tires screech, her foot nearly to the floor as she presses the gas.
"I need you to call 911." Hailey tosses her phone, trying to keep her focus on the road and the SUV behind her. Even doing close to 70 mph, the SUV is gaining on them. She has no clue how fast Jay's truck would even go.
"No dad, it's me. Someone's trying to hit us!" His panic grates on the last of the calm she's trying to hold onto and her hands tighten on the wheel. Of course he would call his father.
"What's going on? Where are you?" Jay's voice fills the cab of the truck after Levi switches on the speaker. "Hailey, where the hell are you?" He needs answers and he needs them now.
Hailey looks around, searching for any sign of where they are. "I don't…I don't know. I…" She followed the rest of the team out here and was just retracing her drive on the way back. Aside from one trip to a Wal-Mart with Vanessa, Hailey hasn't left the island.
"McCallister Run. We're on McCallister run, dad." He's played at this field a lot and he pays attention.
Jay is talking now, but it's on the radio at the station. He's calling any available unit to McCallister Run. "Hailey?"
"Yeah, I'm here." Her own voice holds the same fear that Levi's did.
"Where's the other vehicle? Still on the road? Did you get a look at the driver? Do you think it's road rage or is this…" He lets the question hang, hoping she understands what he's asking her.
Ice fills her veins. It hadn't even crossed her mind that this could be Ronnie. That's how comfortable she'd gotten. If it's him and something happens to Levi, she'll never forgive herself. "Oh God…Jay…" She can't see into the SUV. The sun is hitting the windshield at an angle that casts a massive glare, obscuring the driver.
"Dad, I'm scared." Hailey chances a look at Levi, noting the way his eyes are glazed with terror. She's scared too.
"4 minutes. There's a unit 4 minutes from you guys. Just hang on and stay calm." He needs to stay calm too.
We don't have four minutes…Saying it out loud won't help, but Hailey knows they don't have that kind of time right now. The SUV is so close behind them that she can no longer see the headlights and then it's swerving to the side again, pulling up alongside them.
"GET DOWN!" Hailey shoves Levi's head down when she sees the driver side window lower, the sun glinting off something metal. She slams the brakes again, pulling to the right this time hoping to get behind the other driver. The smell of burning rubber fills her nostrils as the truck shudders to a stop.
They kept going…whoever was in that car kept driving. Within seconds, it disappears from her view. They stay there, the two of them, with only the sound of Hailey's harsh breathing filling the silence. By the time she manages to put the truck in park and shut off the engine, she can just hear the sirens in the distance. And shouting…why is there shouting? Jay…where's her phone?
"Levi?" His whole body trembles when she touches his back gently, trying to get his attention. "Are you alright?"
"Are they gone?" He slowly lifts his head. "Sirens! It's okay! Hailey, it's okay!" Without so much as a pause, Levi unbuckles and hops down from the truck to flag down the car.
She's a little more unsteady, staying in the truck for a moment longer, willing her hands to stop shaking. It takes her a minute to find her phone, wincing at the cracked screen. Jay isn't shouting anymore but when she tries to call him back, the touch screen won't work. He's probably losing his mind.
When she finally opens the door to step down, her legs give out, sending her to the pavement in a heap. That's where she stays. It's where Levi joins her, pressing into her side, carefully telling her that everything is okay and that his dad is on his way.
It's where Jay finds them 15 minutes later, the two of them leaning against the front tire. He takes a minute to remind himself that they are okay. The responding officer said that they were a little shaken up but physically unharmed.
"Looks like a road rage incident, Sheriff. Same SUV was just flagged down in Christie, about 20 miles from here. A witness said they saw the driver throw some beer cans out the window. We found another can here." The officer points behind the truck. "I'll keep you updated on the situation." Jay shakes his hand then takes a deep breath before facing Hailey and Levi. They haven't moved, but as Jay steps toward them, Hailey's head snaps up and her eyes find him. Her mouth moves but he can't hear the words.
"Dad!" Levi jumps up, running over to him. "Dad, it was so crazy and I thought we were gonna crash but Hailey…" His words get cut off as Jay pulls him against his chest, holding him tight.
"Geez dad, I'm okay." Levi lets the hug last for a little longer but then steps back when his dad doesn't seem to be stopping soon.
"Just…" He's breathing…he's okay…Jay keeps his hands on his shoulders. The last thing he heard was Hailey shouting for Levi to get down. The phone must have fallen because even though he shouted and shouted for them, he went unanswered. He hadn't been sure what kind of scene he was going to be walking into.
"I'm sorry, Jay." Hailey unfolds herself from the ground, making no effort to move closer. As much she wishes it weren't true, this was her fault and Levi had nearly paid the price. Aside from apologizing over and over again, there's nothing more she can say.
"Let's get you guys home." Telling her that it was okay, or that it would be, would be a lie.
The ride back is silent. Hailey is next to the window, with her head resting against it. She's not sleeping. From the corner of his eye, Jay can see her hand clench and unclench throughout the ride. He was so focused on making sure his son was alright that he hadn't even asked how she was feeling. He feels sick about it. Even more so about what he has to tell her when they get back. What he probably should have done from the start before Levi got so attached to her. She's not going to like it and neither will Levi.
"Go on inside, Levi." Jay keeps his voice neutral, calm, keeping the turmoil he's feeling hidden. This will be hard enough without upsetting him.
"No." The whole ride back, Levi could tell something was off. He doesn't know what, but he does know that if he goes inside, something bad is going to happen.
"Levi…"
"Why are you mad at her? It wasn't her fault! That guy was nuts and Hailey…" He's near tears of frustration when Hailey steps in.
"I think we're all just a little shaky still. Everything is okay. Promise." It's not the first time she's lied to him. To keep her secret, it had been necessary but this time…this time it was deliberate. She wasn't lying to protect herself or even him. "Go ahead inside. I'll see you tomorrow." Another lie. He looks like he's going to argue so she pulls him into a hug instead. It takes all her strength to not cry.
"I'll be in soon." Jay watches as his son takes as long as possible to get inside. The screen door clicks shut and Hailey sucks in a breath when Jay spins to her.
The flinch is automatic but before she can tell him she's sorry he hauls her against him. One arm wraps around her back, pressing her tight to his chest while the other tangles in her hair.
"He's okay. He's…okay." Her face is pressed so tightly against him that her words are muffled but he must hear her.
"And you?" Jay leans back, cradling her face in his hands, studying her. The hug was unexpected. He was prepared to tell her what he knows needs to happen but then the second the door closed, his body moved on autopilot. He ignored the fear that flashed in her eyes and just…held her.
He's worried for her? "I'm fine." Pushing back, her hands rub at her forehead, trying to ease the pressure building there.
"Hailey…I…It wasn't him. It wasn't Booth." At least he can give her this one bit of good news.
"This time." Stepping back even further, Hailey shakes her head. "It wasn't him this time, Jay." She wishes he would just say it. What she knows is coming.
"I'm sorry, Hailey…" And he is, more than she'll ever know.
"It's okay. Just say it." He wants her to stay away from Levi. It's what should have been from the start. She was foolish to believe she could have more.
"When you guys were on the phone, I could hear how scared he was. I could hear it and I couldn't get to you guys…to him. I've never felt fear like that, Hailey. And I know it isn't fair but…" He breaks off, staring past the house and down the ocean. If there's anyone who understands the unfairness of the world, it's Hailey. "I think it's best if you stayed away from him." There…he said it. He waits for her to say something…anything, to react at all but she just stands there.
"I told you that I'd help you, and I will…that isn't going to change but…"
"I get it, Jay. He matters most. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but I understand. I'll umm…I'll back off." The pebbles at her feet are suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. At least he can't see the tears forming.
"I'm sorry Hailey. I know that doesn't fix this, but I am. I'm just trying to do what's best for him."
She'd known it from the start. Letting herself get involved with anyone in any way was a risk, but they had all been so kind that she was willing to take that chance. In the end, she's not the only one paying. She wants to scream. Wants to tell him that she loves his son and that the last thing she would ever want to do is hurt him, but it wouldn't change his mind. She doesn't know what to say to him so she goes with the simple choice.
"Don't apologize for choosing to protect your son. I'm…gonna go." Before he can answer, she hurries to leave.
"Hailey, wait!" Jay shouts, running to catch her. "You and I…we…It's…" No matter how hard he tries to make her see that he's still going to help her, he knows she's going to shut him out. Keeping her from Levi means keeping her from him. He's losing here too.
"It's okay, Jay. Really." Why couldn't she have just one good thing? She just wants to go home, to get away from him and the sadness in his eyes. Her arms wrap tight around her midsection in a poor attempt to try and hold herself together but it doesn't help. She's mortified when the first tears escape but it's too late. She can't stop them.
"Jesus, Hailey…" Jay feels like a jerk for hurting her. The tears she lets fall kill him. He wants to hold her, to tell her he's sorry until she doesn't hurt anymore but by choosing to put Levi first, he knows he's giving up all that. The chance to touch her, kiss her…be with her…He's giving it all up before they ever had a shot. For Levi…because he comes first no matter what. So he lets her go, watching her walk away from him until he can no longer see her.
He heads inside, stopping at the sight of Levi just inside the screen door.
"I hate you." His voice is quiet, trembling even as the hurt and power come through the words. He hadn't meant to listen in, but then he couldn't stop. Why would he do this? Why would he make her stay away?
"Levi, listen to me. I know you're upset right now, but this is just the way it has to be. You can be mad and say what you need to say to let it out but I'm just trying to stop you getting hurt worse later. Hailey isn't…"
"Hailey loves me! She loves me and you made her go!" He hates the way he's feeling. Hates the way the anger burns in his stomach and even though he knows the things he's saying are hurting his dad, he's hurting too. He's hurting so much that he can't see past it. "I'll never forgive you for this…never." Levi turns, running up the stairs to his room, letting the anger and sadness out the only way he knows how. His tears soak his shirt, sobs shaking his small body. He cries until the anger turns into a constant throb in his chest, finally slipping into an exhausted sleep.
It's not much different down the street at Hailey and Vanessa's place. The walk home was a blur. One second she was leaving Jay's and the next she was sliding down the back of her door.
"What happened?" Vanessa is by her side in an instant, knowing it must be bad because Hailey doesn't even fight when she holds her. Instead, she lays her head on her shoulder and starts to cry harder.
Between the tears and sobs, it takes Vanessa almost half an hour to piece together what happened. The SUV, the fear they all felt…Jay's decision to remove her from his son's life. When would the suffering end for this girl?
"I shouldn't have stayed. I shouldn't have gotten any of you involved in my problems."
"Hailey, what happened tonight…it wasn't your fault." Vanessa can practically feel the blame rolling off her.
"It was though…and it will be, because if I hadn't come here or just kept going through, Levi would never have been in that situation. None of you would have. Ronnie isn't going to stop looking for me until he finds me and…" She wipes her face before looking over at Vanessa, forcing herself to go numb.
"I need to not be here when that happens."
We're in the thick of it now. Things will move pretty fast from here on out. The end is close! Thank you for reading! i love hearing what you guys think so thanks for that too!
