Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 and all affiliated characters do not belong to me. I'm only borrowing them, and am making no money from this. Just having some fun.
AN: A recent rewatch of SG-1 had me deciding to write it for the first time, and I've got something like 20,000 words written, unfortunately they're random scenes or funny bits or ideas for like half a dozen stories. This was the first thing that came together, because I realized I'd had various ideas for how the characters grow and change over the years, particularly Daniel. And Sam's quote was the perfect start point. I only have three more chapters planned, each based on a different episode and from a different character's perspective (the rest of SG1), but would absolutely be open to doing others if people have requests. No couples, but plenty of friendship. (I've been told if you squint this could be D/S, but I'd say you have to squint very hard and be using confirmation bias, it was totally meant as just friendship)
POV: Daniel
Episode reference: 1x15 "Singularity"
No ships but friendships, canon compliant, reviews and suggestions for other chapters welcome.
Unexpected Warrior
By Lady Callista
Ω
"Sometimes I forget you're not military." -Samantha Carter
Ω
Chapter 1
Daniel can't help the slight huff of disbelief that comes out when she says she forgets sometimes that he's not in the military. She has to be the only person on base that ever does.
Jack never lets him forget, whether it's by randomly tousling his hair like he's a kid while saying how non-regulation it is, or dragging him off to the range to try and make him proficient with yet another type of firearm.
He understands the need to be familiar with the guns, as much as he will never like having to use one he's aware that sometimes they're necessary. His hair, however, is staying exactly the way it is. Sha're loves his hair, loves running her fingers through it, loves watching the light play through the natural highlights it develops in the bright sun, loves how different it is from her own and everyone else she knows. Once they find her he…
Daniel ruthlessly cut that thought off, as he did anytime during the day when he found himself drifting. It was only at night, when he missed the warm dessert breezes and quiet night sounds, when he missed the warmth and comfort of his beloved wife in his arms, that he let himself remember.
Pulling all his thoughts back to the here and now, he stands quietly with Sam for another moment, watching Cassandra sleep. He understands what the captain means by her words, he thinks.
She's not thinking of it in the same way as the marines who laugh from the sidelines as Teal'c tries to teach him hand to hand fighting, she's not thinking of the number of times he hasn't followed Jack's orders, or the times the two men have come to shouting matches that would have gotten anyone in the military reprimanded if not court-marshalled.
She's thinking simply of the fact that he told her it's okay to not be detached from her emotions, that it's okay to cry.
He knows it's somewhat hypocritical for him to tell someone it's okay to cry, to offer to be someone's shoulder, given that he almost never accepts one himself. But that's purely because before he went to Abydos, he'd spent the past two decades of his life not having anyone who would offer to be that shoulder to cry on. He'd spent two decades getting through everything himself, knowing he could rely on no one but himself, and that he did have to deal with everything alone.
But he doesn't want others to have to go through what he did.
He can see the tears still sheening her eyes, the slight quiver in her chin that says it's taking everything she has to hold it back, and instead of trying to talk her into getting something to eat, which was what he'd originally come down to do, he puts a hand lightly on the small of her back and guides her towards the empty room across the hall from Cassandra's. She doesn't resist or even question him, which tells him just how close she is to losing it.
"Just sit down for a minute." Daniel says softly, sitting on the bed and motioning for her to join him. He watches her gaze slide between him and the open door at her back, sees the uncertainty. "I'll leave you alone if you want, but remember I told you that you don't have to be."
Daniel sees a mix of gratitude and relief flash through her eyes before she closes the door behind her, and sees her eyes flick to the inactive security camera in the corner. It's thankfully not motion activated. She sits beside him, body still tense and features trembling, and he hears the first aborted sob catch at the back of her throat.
He slides an arm around her slowly, wanting to somehow be there for her but unsure exactly what she'll be comfortable with, but that soft touch is all it takes for the dam to break.
Sam shifts a little sideways, burying her face in his shoulder, and her body shakes as he brings his other arm up around her just as the sobs begin.
Daniel feels her arms slide around his waist, feels her hands clench into his shirt, and slides one hand up to cup her neck even as the other rubs small circles on her back. It's how his mother always held him when he cried, and he remembers briefly her reassuring murmurs in various languages, and how they always made everything better.
He remains silent though, knowing that words have no place here. He can't tell her it's going to be alright; he can't tell her everything is going to be okay because they both know that it might not be.
He wonders when she lost her own mother, because while he had suspected before he's almost certain now that it was as a child. He'd seen not just the sympathy on her face but the understanding when Cassandra had been dreaming about and missing her mother, had seen the look in her eyes that he'd seen too many times in too many foster and group homes, the look he'd seen too many times in the mirror.
Not only was that way too personal a question however, there was no way he could ask unless he was willing to discuss the reason he had seen it, the reason he had understood, and he hadn't spoken to anyone about that since he'd become an emancipated adult at all of 16.
Daniel stroked a hand over her hair as he felt the sobs turning to sniffles, thoughts swirling as he tried to think how to explain to her that it wasn't just for her, it was for Cassandra as well. He knew she'd be embarrassed when she was done crying, and really didn't want her to be.
Sam had just started to pull back from him when he realized exactly what he needed to tell her, although it was just as hard as speaking about his parents would have been, just in a different way. He let her go, unsurprised when she ducked her head and angled away from him, and automatically shifted himself to give her a little more space even as he reached out and put a hand lightly on her knee.
"I want to be there for that little girl too, Sam, and not just for your sake. None of us can understand what it's like to lose our entire world, or to lose every single person we know and care about. But I understand a little bit more than most."
Her gaze flicked back over to meet his, and he knew her well enough to read the question in her eyes. Was he talking about Earth or Abydos?
"Both." He whispered, rising to pace the room, trying to say what he wanted to without letting the memories get in the way. "When I stayed on Abydos, I thought it was forever, I planned on it being forever. It was a choice, and I knew my world was still out there, but there were still nights I'd lie awake so homesick for Earth that if it hadn't been for Sha're I'd have unburied the gate myself and dialed home, consequences be damned. And now there are nights I lie awake and think of all the people on Abydos, think of all the family and friends I found there, and I wonder if I'll ever see them again. It's not the same as what Cassandra went through, not even close really, but…"
"But more than anybody else." Sam's quiet voice cut him off just as he started sounding awkward.
Daniel sighed and nodded. "And I know she's attached to you, but the more people she's comfortable around, the safer she'll feel."
Sam nodded, and he saw some of the spark come back into her eyes. He'd succeeded in getting her through the initial embarrassment of crying not just in front of him but on his shoulder, and in getting her thinking about something else. Remembering why he'd initially come to find her, Daniel moved towards the door. "How long has it been since you've eaten something?"
"What time is it?"
Daniel managed a chuckle. "Well, according to Jack that means the answer is too long."
She followed him to the door, taking a deep breath and wiping away a few last tears before putting her hands over her slightly splotchy cheeks. "I don't think I can deal with the commissary right now."
He nodded slightly in understanding, crossing the hall to peek in on Cassandra, who was still sedated. "I'll bring something down, but Sam, you need to eat."
Sam nodded absently, already drifting back towards the bed with the young girl, and Daniel turned to leave. He'd only taken a few steps when her quiet voice stopped him.
"Daniel, thank you."
His first thought was to lighten the mood, to joke about mess hall food not being deserving of thanks, but he wanted to take this one more second outside of military detachment, so when he turned back to face her he only gave her a soft smile, acknowledging what she was thanking him for. "Anytime, and I mean that."
"You too." She offered at barely a whisper, hesitating before adding. "I'm glad you're not in the military."
Daniel couldn't stop his smile from widening, dozens of reasons why that would have never happened flying through his mind. "So am I." He answered simply before turning again and moving away. He was glad, for all the same reasons he'd always been, most of which had been amplified during his time with SG-1. And now he had a new reason to add to the list.
It allowed him to do something as simple yet as important as comforting a friend, and in some ways that was more vital than any of the other reasons.
He was already more military than he had been, and knew he would have to learn and change even more to stay on the team, to survive long enough to find Sha're, but he promised himself that he would never let it change the core of who he was.
He would never let the rules become more important than the people.
