The secret ending to "Operation: F.O.O.D.F.I.T.E.". This is canon to the Gameverse!


"Rotten kids… or giant hamsters, Slam Witch eats them all with muenster! Miserable, verminous, despicable rat will now make Slam Witch nice and fat!"

Sector V were always prepared for whatever monstrosities Gramma Stuffum would throw at lunch. What they weren't expecting was a second course served with a giant sandwich. Her greatest creation, Sector V were almost overwhelmed. Fortunately, Numbuh 2 had already called for backup.

Just when Stuffum was ascertained of victory, a different monstrosity came bursting from Sector V's treehouse: a tremendous hamster, mutated to have a humanoid, muscular body… along with sports clothes. Still, Stuffum was confident in her creation, so Slam Witch engaged the rodent in a titanic brawl. As she hoped, Slam Witch was stronger than the hamster. No puny rodent could stomach her food! …But as she would then learn, Slam Witch couldn't stomach five bratty kids.

"Slam Witch! Why do you twitch? My giant sandwich! Slam Witch!"

Sector V had been equipped with shock rods, electrifying the beast from the inside. Naturally, the electricity spread to them since they were standing in his stomach, but they endured this pain long enough for their hamster to deal the final blows. "SLAM WITCH!" Sector V were ejected from the stomach thanks to the hamster's chokehold.

"JOAQUIN!" Delighted their pet had come to the rescue, the friends cheered for him. With no strength left to defend itself, Slam Witch would be devoured by the monster of equal size. The end of Stuffum's musical would end with a repetition of cheers for either titan, until Stuffum was pummeled by the remains of her creation. "JOAQUIN!"

The sectormates were set to return to school… except Gallagher had been destroyed by the Slam Witch's arrival, so classes were cancelled for the rest of the day. Stuffum wouldn't be fired, but she would be asked not to make any more oversized recipes.

"So, Numbuh 2." Wallabee began, looking up at the hamster in concern. "How long is Joaquin gonna be like that?"

"It should be wearing of just about… now!"

With a smile, Joaquin stood still as he began to shrink to his normal, holdable size. "…?!" It was then a horrible sensation overcame him: a force welling up in his stomach. "Orp…ulp…"

"Uh, Numbuh 2?" Abby pointed. "Joaquin looks a little… sick."

"He did just eat a Stuffum-flavored sandwich." Nigel reasoned.

"Her cooking's not actually that bad once you try it." Hoagie smiled, patting his belly. "Doesn't mean I like it attacking us though. I'm sure it's just an after-effect of the enlarging. He'll feel better once he's-"

"JOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…!"

Joaquin's scream was the most horrible thing to hurt their ears, worse than anything they would hear in Clarinetta's music class. The five friends couldn't imagine what pain the poor thing was going through, the distraught in his bloodshot eyes scarring.

There was a fatal flaw in Hoagie's gigantification ray: if the enlarged subject were to consume a massive amount of food, that food wouldn't shrink when the subject returned to normal. And Joaquin just consumed a giant sandwich. The Slam Witch was chewed to bits and half-digested by now, but its matter still dwelled within him. Once Joaquin shrank to a certain point, the substance swelled inside him like a balloon. "OOOOOAAAAAA…"

Joaquin was ripped open from the inside. What was left of him would shrink and be lost in the massive mass of the mushed mess. No one in Sector V could blink or even look away. All the joy from beating Gramma Stuffum was long gone. Even Kuki couldn't come up with an airheaded remark like, "OH, he's prob'ly fiiiiine." Even their bubbly friend was smart enough to know Joaquin wasn't coming back. Hoagie, as well, would disassemble the enlarging ray, in case a certain Aussie tried to gain a few extra hundred inches and bit off more than he could chew.

"…Welp!" Still, Hoagie would stay optimistic about this development. "Time to shop for a new Joaquin!"

END TRANSMISSION

The second Joaquin would die of old age after receiving Grandfather's Senior Citizombie curse.