Crack fic based off of how I managed to get 999 wood in Botw. I wrote this at school lol


It was a nice day at Rito stable, there were travellers coming in from all corners of Hyrule- which was good for business. Then, a young man came in. Blonde, with blue eyes, but oddly enough was almost completely bare in this kind of weather- save for a pair of blue shorts he had on.

"Hello, what are you here for?" Galli asked, trying to not be judgemental.

"HUT HA HYAHHH!" Was all he got as a reply, before the rather odd young man went off to the side of the stable and placed something down, a blue circular thing with patterns similar to what he'd seen on the shrines scattered around Hyrule.

"Hey, what are you-"

"YAH!" Was all the poor confused stable owner heard as an explanation before the young man went over to a tree stump where an ace was wedged. Wielding it with an unexpected amount of what seemed to be skill (or maybe pure recklessness?) He went around chopping all the trees and logs they had around the stable, collecting the resulting bundles with a look of glee.

The process repeated, and each time this very odd young man would vanish, turning the same glowing blue colour of the circle, only to reappear in it and start chopping everything down. When the axe broke, it didn't stop him, and he simply pulled out what seemed to be endless bomb and blew everything up. Including any surrounding wildlife unfortunate enough to be caught in the blast as well as the stable itself.

This, was a very bad day for Galli.