Chapter 8:
"No way," said Sakura after they regrouped. "So, the wine guy had nothing to do with it? But wait. Shikamaru, how did you know where to go and that it wasn't him?"
Shikamaru shrugged, keeping his arms folded. "The Valentine Wine was used to drug the partygoers. If that's what the guy was after, he couldn't have used it to drug everyone. Can't steal what you already have."
"That's how you knew it wasn't him. But still, how'd you know he wouldn't have been going to the wine cellar?"
"Given what I already told you, I had a feeling whatever was going on had to be happening far away from the party and the cellar. I just went in the opposite direction. Besides, if you're trying to sneak stuff out of a castle like this, going into a cellar isn't the best choice. Most wine cellars are like vaults. One way in, one way out. That way no one can easily come in and sample the product. That and most want to keep the elements out so it doesn't change the flavor of the wine. That's why they're temperature controlled. A second door might mess things up. An old castle like this wouldn't have that sort of thing anyway. If that were true, then Sam the wine guy would have found it by now. He's been after that wine for some time now and is always around. Chances are if there were another way in and out of there, he would have found it by now. But he's been going in the same way every time."
"Oh," said Sakura, impressed. "Then if you knew we were chasing the wrong guy, why didn't you tell us we were going the wrong way? You just took off without a word."
"In case I was wrong, I needed my bases covered. Besides, just because he had nothing to do with the wine and the women, doesn't mean he wasn't up to something, too. Can have more than one thing going on during a mission, you know."
"You just thought we'd slow you down if you took the time to explain it," said Temari.
"That's not it."
"Ok, then you like me coming to save your ass."
Shikamaru sighed and looked away. "Don't have to put it like that."
"You're not denying it," she teased.
Holding an icepack to his head, Naruto asked, "So what went on with the whole missing women thing? I was a little out of it at the time."
After dealing with Haru, Shikamaru ended up finding the missing women with Sakura's help. He told her to look for hidden passages where they could be kept and that was exactly where they found them.
Before Shikamaru could figure out how to open the hidden door in the wall, Sakura punched through it, revealing the women hidden inside. They were all accounted for and sober, making for a very grateful discovery. Not many wanted to stick around, intent on going home as soon as possible. Shikamaru sidestepped to avoid being trampled by the eager women looking for the exit. Only a couple stayed to make sure the shinobi knew who was responsible for what happened. They even took turns punching Haru the moment they saw him tied up in Temari's grasp, and she saw no reason to stop them for a while. After that, the shinobi stationed outside took Haru from there, escorting him away with a swollen face.
"What hidden door?" Naruto asked.
"A castle like this is full of them," said Shikamaru.
"But where was this one?" he asked. "In the hall? In a room? It had to be somewhere not easily spotted. Somewhere hidden from anyone walking by and in a place where no one was likely to hear them, even through those thick walls."
"Where do you think?" asked Sakura with a look of satisfaction on her face. "The very place we were heading in the first place."
"The hidden room where he was keeping them was in the wine cellar?" Naruto nodded his head. "That makes sense. Only Haru and that guy who owns this place would go there. Guess that was why they didn't want the wine enthusiast to go there."
"I think it was less about finding them and more about Sam getting into the wine," said Sakura. "But it could have been both. If there's no one in there, it's more likely for them to be heard if they made a lot of noise versus being in a crowded room with a bunch of people chattering away."
One of the shinobi came back to speak with the group. "We need someone to see to the host of this party. If he's still under any effects, it might be a good idea to keep an eye on him just in case."
"We'll go keep an eye on him," offered Sakura. "Come on, Naruto."
He groaned and pressed the icepack harder to his head. "My head is killing me…"
"How much did you have? The other guests aren't this whiny about it."
"They have headaches, too. You just made it worse by hitting me."
"Who was hitting on who, though?" Sakura asked with a raised brow.
Naruto dropped his gaze and mumbled, "I couldn't help it…" He gave Sakura a pleading look. "You won't tell Hinata about this, will you?"
"Even if I did, I doubt it would change how she feels about you." Sakura grinned. "Don't worry. I won't mention it."
Shikamaru sighed and faced the other direction. "Guess we should tie up any loose ends, too."
As it turned out, there wasn't much else to do. The other shinobi were handling most of the aftermath and Sakura and Naruto were taking care of the owner. Guests were already leaving the party since there wasn't much else going on and several of them were nursing their mild headaches which they blamed on the loud festivities. Shikamaru didn't see a point in telling the guests what really happened and doubted they would believe him, but he left it up to the others to decide.
Shikamaru stood out in the garden behind the castle which were mainly shrubs and closed flowers around a fountain trickling listlessly. It seemed the garden was pretty well taken care of. It was small, so it probably wasn't much work. He looked from the fountain to the clouds drifting past the moon in the sky.
Things were tranquil, which meant at any moment, someone was going to bother him.
"Hey, there," came Temari's voice. "Figured I'd find you out here."
Shikamaru glanced at what Temari was wearing. "You're still in that dress."
Temari shrugged and acted like it wasn't a big deal. "I didn't see a point in changing. It's not like I get to wear it much anyway."
Shikamaru looked back at the sky.
Temari elbowed him in the rib and scoffed, amused. "You lost your cool back there."
"Huh?" He looked at her.
"I mean come on," she said on the verge of laughing. "You couldn't tell what I was doing? I really needed to spell it out for you?"
"You mean the act you put on. Well, I mean, yeah, I knew something was up."
"Oh, no, you did not." Temari started laughing. "I saw your face. You were totally buying it. Did you really think I would do that?"
"If you were drugged."
"You knew I hadn't had any of the refreshments. Why would you think for a moment…? You really didn't get it?"
Shikamaru was more annoyed by the belittling than the teasing. Not for him but his feelings. She was belittling how he felt in that moment.
"I wasn't thinking, ok?" he told her, trying to look somewhere else.
"You're supposed to be smart and you couldn't tell that I was acting? Either I'm a better actor than I thought or you…"
Shikamaru clenched his jaw. "I doubted myself, ok? I knew you hadn't taken any but when I saw you acting like that, I thought I made a mistake and that maybe you had."
"Even so," she said with a smirk. "You lost your cool. I had to come save you again. And I can't believe it took you that long to notice what was going on."
"Well, sorry. I'm not going to think rationally when I see that happening to someone I care about."
Temari's smile vanished. "Huh?"
Shikamaru bit his lip. Had he taken it too far? Had he said the wrong thing and was scaring her?
"Well, of course I care about you. If he had done that to anybody I was close to, I would have…"
"Oh." Temari looked away. "I see."
He messed up. Now she must have thought she wasn't important to him. That she was just a generic person in his circle of friends.
"No, it's not like that. It's different. You're different. I… I am screwing this up." Shikamaru looked the other way, thinking if he stopped right now, he wouldn't make things any worse.
Temari looked over her shoulder at him and turned to face him. "What's with you? Since when can't you talk to me?"
"I can talk to you."
"Then what's the problem?"
Shikamaru wasn't sure where to place his gaze. At the ground? At the sky? Each time he tried to look at her, his eyes would dart elsewhere, his increased heartrate making them move.
"You're right. I normally would have seen what you were up to, but in that moment, I just didn't. Seeing him want to use you as a hostage enraged me. And seeing you cuddle up to the enemy like that…"
"Pissed you off?"
"Yes. And no."
"Were you jealous?"
"N- no!" Shikamaru's face started to feel hot.
Temari shrugged her shoulders and started to walk away. "Well, when you know what's going on with you…"
"I'm sorry."
Temari grew angry. "Don't apologize to me."
"Sorry. I mean…" Shikamaru was angry at himself. "Why does this keep happening?"
"What's going on with you?"
"I don't know, ok?" Shikamaru almost snapped and he quickly changed his tone. "I keep messing up and I don't want to do that in front of you."
When had he gotten nervous around Temari? When did this new feeling occur? What changed?
There was no reason why he shouldn't have been able to talk to her when he always could before.
"Your opinion is too important to me," he told her. "I don't want you to see me screw up."
"You think I have to see you as perfect?" she asked with a slight sneer in her voice. He could actually hear it.
"No, but I want to be good enough for you." A warrior type like her probably demanded a certain level of skill he just kept coming short of. "They're probably expectations I put on myself because I think that's what you'd like but I don't know how to ask what you want because if I do ask, you might get pissed off that it didn't cross my mind and I don't want to disappoint you."
"Good enough for me how?" she asked.
Shikamaru didn't know how to respond. "I just don't want you to… I want to… I want you to see me the way I see you."
Temari hesitated. "Oh. Well, uh… H- How do you see me?"
"I… I don't know."
He knew it was the wrong thing to say but he was answering honestly and spontaneously.
"I just know that I don't want to screw up in front of you and have you think less of me because your opinion is valuable to me. More than my own teammates'. Part of me wants to impress you so you'll notice me and… I don't know. I just want to me near you and I'm afraid I'll do something to scare you away and I can't handle that. You're too important. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you in my life."
Temari's face was bright pink and her eyes were wide, staring straight at him. She couldn't pretend she hadn't heard him or play if off like all those other times. She was just frozen.
Shikamaru wasn't flirting with her. He was being earnest. His nervousness was making him fumble so this wasn't like other rehearsed confessions she had received in the not-so distant past which actually made this even more riveting.
He didn't feel like himself when he was around her like this. He was nervous. He put effort into things he normally wouldn't have. He felt a need to impress her. He wanted to show off which wasn't like him. He valued her opinion more than anyone's. Appearing like a fool in front of her was something he couldn't stomach, whereas he didn't care how he appeared to others. If they thought he was a fool, they wouldn't ask him to do anything.
Going through all this trouble to carve a spot for himself in another's heart was… well, troublesome. Yet somehow, going though all this trouble for one person didn't seem all that bad if it was her. Putting effort into something for her was something he wanted to do. It just seemed so natural.
Shikamaru looked at Temari's face for the first time since speaking his feelings and saw the pink on her cheeks. She was always so ferocious and intimidating, but she was a human being. When he saw her in this state, he knew she was human, just like him. Seeing her vulnerable, even in a small way, made him feel closer to her. She wasn't scary when she was like this. This other side to her was endearing. He felt like he could see beyond what she showed everyone and see who she was, and that person was precious to him.
On that date not too long ago, they had dinner and talked, with Ino and Choji spying on them from the restaurant window. Shikamaru hardly noticed them because he was enjoying his date too much. It didn't feel like a date to him but just two close friends getting together to share a meal and talk.
Their conversation varied from talking about missions to being completely unrelated to their profession. He found out that she could get embarrassed and laugh. Seeing her laugh made him feel so happy and smiled without realizing he was doing it. He tried telling a few jokes to make her laugh again and felt triumphant when he succeeded. They had several things in common he never knew about. Even some of the books they read as children surprised him and they bonded over those memories.
Most of all, he learned how protective she was of those she loved. Wanting to be strong to look after her brothers was ingrained in her from being the eldest but cemented itself when they no longer had a mother in their lives. She, as the only girl, felt a need to be a caretaker to her siblings which conflicted with her fear of what Gaara was becoming at the time. Once he opened himself to love and no longer tried to keep people at a distance for fear of pain, she was allowed to love him in a more normal way. She wanted to look after him and protect him, shoving people out of the way to be at his side and ask if she could be useful to him in any way.
The more she talked about it, the more he realized they felt the same about protecting those younger than themselves. To protect the future. Asuma's child, Temari's brother Gaara. Through talking, they discovered that they both felt the same way and why those things were meaningful to them. To have someone relate and understand how they felt was… They didn't have the words, they just knew.
Temari wasn't a princess to him, nor was she a beauty queen. She was a dear friend he had a close and special bond with. He didn't feel this way about anyone else, just her. Given that he felt this way, he wasn't sure what this was. They could talk like close friends, get along like friends, still function when they went their separate ways yet got excited when they came back. What was she to him? Could he still think of her as a friend if there was more going on? Wasn't he supposed to see her differently if she were? What did he feel?
"Well," Temari began, some of the shock melting her features enough to allow her to look away. "I'm glad I'm welcome." Her face started turning pink all over again. "In your life, I mean. Coming to the village is nice. You have all sorts of stuff we don't have back at the Sand."
"Glad to hear it." Shikamaru felt like he should say something else. "You can stay as long as you want. It's a nice place to live."
Temari looked at him. "Are you inviting me to live in the Leaf?"
Shikamaru wasn't sure if he had or not. He was just trying to make conversation that wouldn't be uncomfortable. "Uh… Uh, just saying the option is there. It's your choice. I'm not going to tell you what you should do. Only you can make that choice. Besides, I know how important your brothers are to you. If it'd be hard to leave them…"
Temari scoffed. "They don't need me that much." She put her hands on her hips and looked over the garden. "Gaara has plenty of people looking out for him and Kankuro really wants to stay right there. He'll be the one looking out for Gaara. It's not like I've been doing all that much lately. Even some of the scouts I direct don't need me as much as before. They got a good hand on this."
"I know people won't be helpless without you. I'm just saying being away from them might be hard."
"Our villages interact more often than ever. It's not like it'll be troublesome to visit or anything."
He knew she used that word on purpose. "I'm just saying it's an option. If you wanted."
"It's not like I haven't thought of it or anything. Bathhouses are not in the Sand. And you got those cookies I really like. Kankuro ate them all last time. If I did live here, I could eat them any time I want." Temari chuckled with a smirk.
Shikamaru chuckled back, liking her laugh.
"We're still going to be siblings, no matter where we end up. Nothing will change how we feel about each other."
"Well, yeah. I was just meaning more of the missing you kind of thing. I mean you are an easy person to love. I could completely get why…" Had he just blurted that out?
It wasn't a confession. He just said that she was easy to love. Would she think that was a confession? Should he add something like, 'once they get to know you' or would that make it worse? No, that would probably make it worse. If he stopped talking, she'd know something was wrong. If he kept talking, he might make things worse by saying something he couldn't even fathom at this point.
"Shikamaru?"
Laughing nervously, Shikamaru pointed to a random spot in the garden. "Hey, look at that. Neat, huh?"
Temari frowned and raised her eyebrow. "You mean the bush?"
Shikamaru slapped his forehead and moaned. "I am no good at this."
"What is with you?"
"I told you, I get nervous around you," he said, slightly annoyed. "I don't want to mess up and drive you away."
"Why?"
"I told you. Because you're important to me."
"Well, you're important to me, too." Temari then said, "But why am I important to you?"
He looked at her. "Huh?"
She folded her arms and told him, "I just said you're important to me, too. But I don't know why I am to you. Tell me."
"I don't know."
"You have to know. If I'm important then you know why."
"But… But I…" Shikamaru wasn't sure what he felt. "I don't know why. This is all new to me. What I'm feeling."
Temari no longer looked angry but curious. "Then, what are you feeling?"
"That I don't want you to see me mess up. You don't have to think I'm perfect because I'm not. I just care too much about you to ruin whatever this is."
"What do you think this is?"
Shikamaru felt himself turning red. "I'm afraid to answer that because it might be the wrong one."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, you're brilliant, alright."
"It's not like I planned this."
"You can't come up with something?"
"For answering you or how I feel?"
"You haven't told me how you felt."
"I told you that you're important to me."
"Don't repeat what you already said." Temari grabbed his hands and held them in hers. "I care about you, too. We went on a couple dates and we both had fun."
Shikamaru looked at the hands holding his, blushing. Temari's hands were rough and sweaty. She was nervous, too.
Temari quickly let go of his hands and faced the other direction, her face even redder than his. "Just forget it. You don't have to. If it's too troublesome for you…"
"It's not that," he told her, his hands still lingering in front of him, longing for her touch again. "It's just I don't want to screw this up. If I say the wrong thing… If I feel something and don't use the right word or don't understand…"
"If you don't know, then… then how am I supposed to?" Temari faced the other way completely so he couldn't see her face. He could see her fingers scratching nervously at her strapless dress.
That's when he knew they were in the same position. They were both afraid to say something and have it not be the same as the other's. They wanted to feel the same thing but how were they to know what the other felt if they didn't say it first? What if Temari felt a certain way and Shikamaru didn't? It was the same fear he was experiencing.
If this was all new to him, how was he supposed to know what this was?
She was a dear friend to him. He never had a crush on her. He barely spoke to her in the beginning, matched during the Chunin exams and later that year rescued while trying to bring Sasuke back to the Leaf. They started speaking more frequently after that and became friends. They were friends but he felt closer to her than he did Ino. Even Choji. He felt affection for her and he didn't know when it started.
This feeling developed over time, sneaking up at some point in their friendship. It all happened so seamlessly that it was just natural. Not an exact moment but a sudden realization.
He thought he understood. He hoped he did and he prayed he wasn't about to say the wrong thing.
"I…" His voice cracked a little, so he cleared his throat. "I think…" If he said that, she might get angry at his uncertainty. He was being honest. He wasn't sure but he thought he was.
He looked at her back and knew he would be taking a huge risk saying it, but when he saw her standing there, he knew how he felt.
"I love you."
He hadn't blurted it out. He said it earnestly.
He was scared and embarrassed and regretted it immediately. He may have just said the wrong thing in front of the woman he loved. Maybe she didn't want to see him again. This may have all just been fun to her and nothing romantic. Maybe she didn't feel the same. He felt so vulnerable.
Temari turned around. Her face appeared pale in the moonlight, a look of wonder in her eyes.
"What?"
Shikamaru took a breath and repeated himself. Perhaps he hadn't said it as loudly as he thought he had. "I said, I love you." He didn't take his eyes off her for one second, wanting to see her reaction. "I love you, Temari."
He never thought he'd say those words but he meant it. He had actually fallen in love with Temari.
And it was so easy. Surprisingly so.
He waited for an answer but she just stood there. He wanted to apologize but knew it would only make her mad.
He hadn't planned on saying it this soon, if at all. He hadn't planned on any of this. Falling in love, this conversation… it just happened. He was good at making things up on the fly, but when it came to her, he felt like he kept messing up. His plans always fell apart around her. No matter what, it seemed he always did the wrong thing.
The fear of rejection was very real and Shikamaru was standing right in front of it. He couldn't turn back and he couldn't pretend he had made a joke. If he told her he was only kidding, she would kill him for sure. Question was, would she kill him now for being honest?
Shikamaru could feel his heart beating faster and faster to the point of it making him dizzy. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His arms were numb.
"It's… ok if you don't," he said, eyes shying away. His voice became very meek, feeling as if he himself were shrinking. "I just… That's how I feel but if you don't… feel… the same… It's ok. Can't force…"
Temari was suddenly in his face and Shikamaru prepared for the punch that surely awaited him, but instead he felt her lips on his.
This was her answer. She returned his feelings. She loved him, too.
She loved him, too. What a feeling that was, to know she felt affection for him.
Temari parted from his lips and looked up at him. When she saw him just staring back, she grew flustered and her face was bright red again.
"Ahh, that was stupid!" She started waving her arms to dismiss her own actions, as if she could erase the kiss. "I didn't plan that. I didn't plan that." Temari turned to the side and started reprimanding herself. "Stupid. I can't believe I just did that. That was so not… It's not like I had ever practiced. My first time…"
Shikamaru boldly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to his chest, planting a kiss of his own on her lips. He didn't know what came over him. Just knowing she loved him must have given him this confidence to act and not fear she would get mad at him for it. Maybe he was being forceful; he didn't know. Maybe she wanted him to take control for once and be bold. One thing he was sure of was that he wanted to kiss her. He felt the first one was too short when she kissed him. He wanted to return the love he had for her and express it his way. He also wanted to assure her that it was ok for her to feel like this. That it was ok to love him. He wanted to calm her down, seeing how panicked she was over being the one to kiss him without warning.
They were both scared. This was new to them both and they both feared rejection.
Knowing they both felt the same was reassuring. Just as much as the kiss.
Shikamaru felt Temari's hand coil its way to the back of his neck, gently pulling him towards her and deepening the kiss. Her other hand gripped the front of his shirt. She could faintly feel his heartbeat under her palm. He kept his arms around Temari, cradling her.
Everything about this just felt right.
Naruto stepped outside to tell Shikamaru they were given the ok to get going when he stopped short and stared at the two locked in an embrace, kissing. He inhaled deeply, his mouth open-wide and was about to give an involuntary shout when Sakura covered his mouth with both hands and dragged him back inside before they could disturb the happy couple.
She couldn't wait to tell Ino what she saw.
Out in the garden, Shikamaru parted from Temari and looked down at her face. She was smiling, too. He chuckled and she chuckled back. For some reason, it felt awkward but not as much as before.
"So…" Shikamaru said, still smiling. "Does this make me your boyfriend?"
"Pfft," she said, as if it were a stupid question. She gave a coy smile and replied, "Does this make me your… girlfriend?" She was blushing as she said the word.
This was still very new to them but they were ready to see where it led them.
"I, uh… think we're heading out soon," said Shikamaru.
"Yeah." Temari still had a hand on Shikamaru's chest and he still had his arms around her waist. "Mission's over. So, back to the Leaf."
"Then back to the Sand."
Meaning they would be apart once again.
Temari stuck out her tongue a little and said, "How troublesome."
Shikamaru started laughing and Temari returned the laugh.
Until next time.
