Chapter 9:

In the morning, Shikamaru watched his wife get dressed while he stayed in bed. She noticed him watching her with a smile and asked, "What?"

"Just thinking about the first time we kissed."

She smiled while her eyes expressed surprise. "What brought that on?"

He shrugged. "Just something Shikadai told me last night. He and his friends were talking about couples and wanted to know about our first kiss."

"What'd you tell him?"

He shrugged again. "I didn't want to get into it."

She smirked. "Too awkward for you to talk about with our son?"

Shikamaru groaned and rolled onto his back, stretching out on the mattress. "The whole thing itself was awkward. I was an idiot."

"Yeah, you were." Temari then raised her eyebrow and said, "Wait. What were you an idiot about? Kissing me or telling me you loved me? What?"

"Everything I did leading up to it," he clarified. "It's not like I had a speech or anything. I didn't practice and I was afraid that I sounded stupid and you'd laugh in my face. I put my heart on the line and I was worried what you'd think of me after that."

"Oh." Temari relaxed, knowing Shikamaru didn't regret them ending up together. "Well, I was a real mess then, too. It was new for me."

"New for me, too," said Shikamaru. "My friends come to me for romantic advice because I seem to understand women better than they do. Ironic, right? I'm so good at understanding relationships and women when I'm on the outside looking in, but when it's me in the relationship, I'm messing everything up and look like a moron."

"Well, it's always easier to see on the outside looking in."

"Yeah. Like seeing the whole shogi board as a player instead of a piece on the board. Player gets the whole view of everything on the board but the piece can only see so far. Pieces are covered up, things get distorted. It's hard."

Temari smiled patiently, used to his shogi references and metaphors.

"Ino had planned her first kiss since we were kids," Shikamaru went on. "Seasonal, even."

"Seasonal?"

"She had a plan for each season, depending on when the kiss occurred. If it was in the summer, she wanted it to be at a festival under fireworks. If it happened in the winter, she wanted it to but in front of a fireplace as the snow came down, sharing a blanket on the floor by the hearth. Things like that."

Temari raised her brow. "She planned it in that much detail?"

"I told her she was nuts and that a first kiss is special because it's your first, not because of where you are. It becomes special because it was your first. But she told me I'm a guy so I wouldn't get it."

Temari sat on the foot of the bed and said, "I didn't really think about where and when I'd have my first kiss. No plans, anyway. That's not to say I didn't think about it. I just didn't know when it'd happen and some of the guys who developed crushes on me were men I didn't really talk to, so it was creepy."

Shikamaru tucked his arm under his head and asked, "Was ours up to standards? I mean, it probably wasn't the most romantic setting. It was dark, the garden was subpar and the fountain was just trickling instead of a cascade and the castle was old. Plus, I wasn't myself that night. Looking back, I'm surprised you saw something in me. I was embarrassed at myself."

"We were teens, still, right? And it was a pretty awkward setting."

"I think Kakashi planned it that way on purpose. I wouldn't be surprised if he was spying on us for some perverted thrill."

"Well, I am attracted to smart guys," Temari told him. "And I could talk to you. You might not be super strong, but you are strong. We understood each other more than I thought anyone could. Our resolves… The things we respect about each other. Even if it's not something we quite understand, we try to understand. I can't really put it into words, but you get it."

"That's what surprised me the most, I think. How we could understand certain things without having words for it or even knowing how to explain it. We just got it. I wasn't sure if something like that could be understood without words, but with you, it just made sense."

Temari shook her head and said, "I felt like a fool that night. I thought you'd think less of me after that. I mean, I'm supposed to be a certain way and if I'm not…"

Shikamaru rolled onto his side and laid his hand atop Temari's on the bed. "I once asked my dad why he married my mom when she was always nagging and yelling and being a grouch, and he told me that a woman, even a grouch like her, would show her tender side to the man she loved. I didn't get it at the time, but when we were dating, it became clear to me. The same way I show a different side to you when we're together. It's weird, I know, but after I show it, I feel awkward about it. Like I shouldn't have. Disillusioned, I guess is the word. To see another side of someone when they're only ever one thing is…"

"It's stupid," said Temari, rubbing her thumb against Shikamaru's finger. "We're shinobi, but we're also human beings. You're smart but you're foolish, too. I'm scary but also sweet." Temari looked away. "I'm just not sure how to show that side of myself to others."

"You could do it for me."

"And it felt weird when I did."

"A lot of things felt weird. I pictured what kind of life I wanted when I was a kid without knowing how I'd get there. Falling in love with someone isn't always planned. I never thought I'd fall in love with you back when we first met and I know you felt the same."

"For sure."

"I always thought falling in love with someone would be like getting hit over the head with a mallet. You just knew in an instant and you go crazy for the object of your affection. Like how Ino gets all giddy for the guy she likes. Or how Naruto would pucker his lips and chase after the girl he liked. Since I didn't get that way, I didn't know if I was in love or not. I thought it felt more intense than what I felt. But given what I did feel, it was still love. I mean, it's not like my parents were love crazy or anything. And Asuma could still function. I guess feeling it and recognizing it in others…"

"Everyone's different. And crushes are supposed to be more intense anyway."

Shikamaru sighed and grinned. "I wonder how Shikadai will be when he finds love."

"He's already asking questions," pointed out Temari.

"Ah, how troublesome…"

Temari looked annoyed but not by what Shikamaru said. "Why didn't he come to me with these questions?"

"He said you're a girl and his mom. It's awkward."

"I guess that's true."

Shikamaru rested his head on his hand and told her, "He does ask about you. He hears stories about how you were and how you moved to the Leaf and is surprised you did that. Giving up some of your achievements, for example."

"I didn't give anything up. I did what I set out to do and found a new mission to complete. I can be more than one thing, you know."

"I know. But as bright as Shikadai is, I don't think he understands some of this stuff. He knows you're strong, so he doesn't understand why you gave up the frontlines to be on the reserve force instead."

"I suppose his dinner is going to cook itself, now, is it?"

"Well, he didn't say that…" Shikamaru looked in the corner of the room.

"I was gaining more than I was losing," Temari told him. "You know that."

"I know. We had a long talk about it when you became pregnant. You were adamant that you be a mother to him because you knew how important it was to have a loving mother in his life. That you'd raise him to be strong and care for him. And since I had the more demanding job, you said between the two of us, it made more sense for you to stay home instead of me."

"Not demanding so much as it is important." Temari then put a hand on her hip and looked down at Shikamaru lying beside her. "Besides, if I let you stay home to raise him, neither of you would get anything done. He needed someone to motivate him and you'd just let him laze around all day. And join him!"

"Saw through me, huh?" he teased.

He could tell just from the tone in her voice years ago when they had the conversation that this was something Temari needed to do. Being a fighter had been her whole life and the only way people saw her but there was another side to her that Shikamaru could see. Gaara saw it, too. Temari wanted to be nurturing. She wasn't always sure how, but Gaara saw more than anyone that she was a protective and loving older sister. When he learned she would be a mother, Gaara didn't say a thing, knowing her instincts would lead her down the right path.

Shikamaru suspected that she had to do this not just for herself but because of her brother's woeful past. Seeing what Gaara had become, she fixated on one aspect of it and decided that as long as her child had a loving mother in their life, they wouldn't think becoming a monster was the only way to cope. Shikamaru and Gaara agreed that Temari was trying to make up for the past in her own way. Gaara believed it was because of him that she was inspired to do this. Shikamaru, through his conversations with Temari, believed it was because she missed out on having a mother around and understood the pain. It could very well have been a blend of the two but both men decided to let her choose for herself. She would anyway.

It wasn't a decision she made immediately. She thought on it for days after, then weeks. She brought it up when she was getting close to giving birth. She had been on leave during this time for the baby's sake as well as the mother's, and Temari discovered that staying home and doing things around the house was enjoyable. It was a different kind of demanding. Then when Shikadai was born, and she looked down at his face, she knew what she wanted to do.

It turned out to be the right decision. Since they were in an era of peace, there was less need for frontline shinobi and caring for a baby was a fulltime job. Shikamaru's work was more important than Temari's so they both knew between the two of them, Shikamaru needed to keep doing what he was doing. They needed him and Temari told him firmly that, as big a pain as it was, he couldn't squander his gift. They needed his genius and it would be put to better use outside the home.

They were both thinking of the welfare of their child and the people who lived in the Leaf. Temari got to experience things she missed out on and enjoyed a simpler life that wasn't as dull as she thought it would be and she got to raise her son the way she wanted to. He got to see her every day and she was proud of who he was growing up to be.


Shikamaru sat at the table while Temari finished cooking breakfast without a word. He would have to leave for the office soon and sooner than that, he would have to face his son.

"Breakfast," announced Temari and she placed everything on the table for them.

Shikadai took his seat, knowing Temari hated having to call a second time. "Morning."

Shikamaru watched Shikadai eat and glanced at Temari standing over their son's shoulder. When she saw the look in Shikamaru's eyes, she grinned and busied herself with something else to give them a moment of privacy.

"Hey, Shikadai…"

"Yeah?" He looked up, chopsticks hovering in front of his mouth as he chewed.

"I realize I never did answer your question last night about my first kiss."

Shikadai shrugged and started to cut a piece of fish in half with his chopsticks. "It's fine. You said you'd tell me when I'm older."

"Yeah, I did." Shikamaru grinned. "And since it's morning, you're another day older. Therefore, I think you're ready to hear how my first kiss was."

Shikadai raised his brow, cheeks puffed out with food. He didn't verbally protest, nor did he encourage Shikamaru to go on. However, he swallowed his food and stared at his father, waiting for the answer.

Thinking back on the mediocre ambiance of the garden and Shikamaru's pride stung by his less valiant, if not subpar, attack plan, he chose instead to focus on the essence of that night. Yes, there was a castle, there was dancing and there was a battle for the girl in the tower, but it was hardly a fairytale. Although, there may have been a little transformation. Not with beams of light or glitter and there was no prince or princess. A relationship might have transformed but so did the two people in the relationship. At least on the inside.

Shikamaru smiled and said to Shikadai, "It was magical."


The end! Hope you liked it.

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