This is a snip for Rhy as part of the Cauldron Discord Valentine's 2022 Give-a-Fic-a-Thon based on their prompt: As Heartbreaker's son, Alec has the scariest power of them all, he can make people break out in trashy romance novel dialogue mid-combat.


Alec does not do goals. If someone has a goal, then that implies, on some level, they are working towards it. He avoids work like he avoids his father, which is to say he avoids it like his life depends on it. What Alec is, on the other hand, is a lazy opportunist—a young man with a wishlist, a small assortment of outcomes he would happily take if offered up to him on a silver plate. Alec never prepared to run from his father's home because any such efforts would have invariably led to the man discovering it via one of Alec's siblings. Nevertheless, Alec readily leapt at the chance when it presented itself, hopping the border into the United States and trekking from city to city to stay one step ahead of being caught.

Alec idly chews on a mouthful of greasy burger and fries as he retreats underneath the restaurant's table with his food and absurdly large pop in hand. The rest of the patrons are all screaming in terror and fleeing, but he only has eyes for the capes, whose duel has spilled over into the restaurant by means of a large hole in the wall. Having only just arrived in the city—not to mention being terribly lazy, as previously stated—Alec knows neither the draconic, tattooed man, nor the woman armored in blades.

But he does know an opportunity when he sees one.

"Stop, Lung! I don't want to fight you!" the armored man abruptly calls out in a swooning falsetto while clutching his hands to his chest.

Oops. Oh well, that's what the guy gets for completely covering himself in an androgynous costume.

The dragon man—Lung, apparently—immediately stops attacking and replies in a deep, booming voice, "Is this true, Kaiser, my love? Have you seen the truth? That we are meant to be... together?!"

The thought briefly crosses Alec's mind that maybe he should adjust the changes he made to the Kaiser guy, but that sounds like five seconds more work than necessary when Alec's dinner entertainment is already set up. Not to mention he finds the gay angle makes everything more interesting. So instead, he swallows the bite of the burger he's been chewing, slurps up some deliciously bad for him pop, and crams some greasy fries into his mouth.

"Yes, darling." Kaiser rushes over to Lung, and the two clasp hands as the armored man looks up into his much taller counterpart's eyes. "I've seen the light... I cannot deny my deep attraction for such a hot stud like yourself."

Those people who haven't yet managed to flee pause and stare at the pair of capes incredulously, the bravest of them openly holding up their cellphones to record the drama. Which really only made sense, given not ten seconds ago the two capes had been actively trying to kill one another. Probably because of the way they were speaking too, Alec could admit. He had only ever learned how to do that so he could make fun of Cherie's soaps and romance novels, but at this point, it's just habit.

"Oh Kaiser, all the stars of the night could never dream to outshine your heavenly visage," the man praises, his draconic features beginning to fade away as he slips down to one knee. "You are the air in my lungs—I cannot live without you. Marry me, you magnificent man!"

That prompts most of the onlookers to begin muttering and not a few gasps. Practically everyone is recording at this point, meaning Kaiser's high pitched squee of delight and giddy little dance is captured a dozen times over.

"Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!" Kaiser exclaims, daintily holding out his left hand. "Every inch of me is yours!"

If either of the men are bothered by Lung quite obviously not having a ring to slip onto Kaiser's finger—not that one would have fit over his bladed gauntlet—then they hide it well as Lung sweeps Kaiser off of his feet into a perfect bridal carry. He then promptly marches right up to the counter where one of the employees had returned to watch, mouth agape at the events unfolding.

"A splendiferous day to you, Miss LaTonia," Lung greets the now petrified teenager, presumably having consulted the nametag pinned to the girl's chest. "My beloved and I require the services of your staff to bond the two of us in holy matrimony that we may share life's journey together from this moment forward secure in the knowledge that we have found true love and committed to the happiness of our soulmate."

Silence follows, and Alec takes a gulp from his pop to wash down his fries before taking another bite of his burger, wondering if he will need to exert control over LaTonia as well. This proves unnecessary, however, as after several seconds of shocked silence, she recovers enough to reply, "Mister, uh, Lung? Sir? This is a Wendy's."

"Indeed, I am aware," Lung replies without missing a beat. "Just as two patties are but slabs of meat alone but come together with an assortment of toppings to create that most delicious delicacy, the double, we too wish to come together to form something greater with the combination of our own small, insignificant lives."

"Ooo baby, I love it when you talk about rubbing our meats together like that," Kaiser purrs, squirming a little in Lung's arms.

Alec tosses the last chunk of his burger into his mouth and carefully slips out from under the table with the remnants of his drink in hand. Already bored, he ambles towards the exit while slurping on his pop while the capes continue going at it behind him. Some might argue he should undo the changes he had wrought, but who was Alec to stand in the way of true love?

Besides, what was the worst that could happen?