Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

~ Adele


Olivia's POV

The following morning when she peeped through the dark drapes hanging in front the window, she saw a fresh sheath of snow cloaking the ground. The snow was still falling. Sighing, she moved away from the bay window in their bedroom and wobbled her way downstairs to the kitchen. She could do without the white frosty substance today as she had many errands to run. As it was, she was already in a foul mood. And one of the people who were responsible for her despondent temper would be walking through the front door any minute. She wasn't looking forward to that, as she was still very upset with him. To her, he had crossed a line. He could've forewarned her about the call, she mused. She huffed and crossed her arms over her burgeoning belly, feelings of agitation coursing through her veins vehemently but she tried to temper it. The little ones in her belly wouldn't like it too much if she weren't calm. And ever since she found out she was expecting she always have their best interest at heart. It was a no brainer to her that she would put them before herself.

With a-just-right hot cup of raspberry tea in hand a few minutes later, she leaned against the kitchen island as she sipped on the hot beverage. It was just what she needed to wake up her senses and calm her nerves. Bubba ran up to her feet and began rubbing her right leg with his back as though sensing that she was in a better mood to greet. She whispered a faint good morning to her friendly four-legged companion before sinking back into the abyss of silence. Her mind wandered to the phone call she had the prior day.

"Hello Olivia…" The minute she heard the voice her heartbeat went into overdrive and her first reaction was flight – to hang up, but before she could act the pleading voice on the line said, "please don't hang up." And she didn't. For the first time since knowing her grandmother Olivia had never heard her speak in such an infirm tone. She was always authoritative and demanding, never the soft-spoken one. So to hear her beg left her stupefied, hence why the phone was still up at her ear.

She inhaled deeply before she could formulate her words. "How did you get my number?" Olivia questioned briskly, cutting right to the chase.

She heard a small gasp on the line before the following was said, "I just wanted to reach out to you, Livia. Please hear me out. I'm sorry…"

She didn't answer her question but that didn't stop a plethora of emotions from coursing through Olivia's veins, the strongest was anger. She was angry because her entire person was reacting to this woman's words with hope, longing for her to say the right things so that she could finally be the grandmother she always wanted her to be. She was mad at herself for still feeling like the little ten-year-old girl who was left in her care that looked for ways to appease her disgruntled grandma but to no avail. Nothing she did was ever good enough. It still hurts. But to hear her say sorry after so many heartaches induced by her sharp witted mouth over a course of a decade and a half was just too much for her to take in.

"What are you sorry for?!" Olivia lashed out, the emotions in her voice thick and raw.

Claris took a sharp breath before pushing forward. "I'm sorry for how I treated you. None of this was your fault, and I blamed you for everything, Olivia," she paused then to swallow the lump gathered in her throat. Her voice came off shaky as she continued, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I should've been the one person to look out for you because you had no one else but I hurt you, I hurt you badly and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being blinded with rage for your father that I lashed out at you. You didn't deserve that Olivia."

Olivia sat frigidly in the chair in her living room; in the house that she shared with her husband, cradling her iPhone tightly in her hand as she stared blindly at the wall. Despite her best attempt to not cry it was futile, rivers of tears flooded her cheeks. For so long she wanted to hear this, to be accepted and loved unconditionally by this woman – for so long… But now, her heart was too wounded to accept her words. She'd wrapped her heart up tightly with waterproof bandages that the fountain of remorse flowing from Claris' mouth couldn't seep through it. She wanted none of this.

A quiet moment was presented after Claris had paused to collect herself. Olivia took that time to speak.

"Why do you do this to me?" The anguish in her voice was very evident. "Every time I'm making leeway to get over my troublesome past, you always come in my life to tilt me off my axis. Why apologize now, Claris?" she asked bitterly, unable to address the woman as 'grandma'.

"Liv, I know it all seems so sudden but I've been going to church and God's been changing my heart. I'm seeing the errors of my ways and I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me this long."

"So, you got a little God in you now and you think that all will be forgiven and forgotten? He may wash your sins white as snow but that doesn't mean that I will. Every time I make a step forward to reconcile my past you keep showing up. That seems a little manipulative to me." Olivia wiped her eyes furiously. She wouldn't allow this woman who'd berated her over the little things she did to be let back into her life so easily. Their last encounter reared its ugly head and angered Olivia all the more.

"No, I don't expect all to be forgiven and forgotten," Claris' voice sharply quipped. Now, that sounded like the Claris she knew.

"So why even call?"

"I called because I wanted to extend an olive branch to you-"

Olivia's humorless chuckle interrupted her. "An olive branch, seriously? Many times I've extended one to you, and you know what you did to it?" She asked rhetorically, not requiring an answer from the woman.

"Olivia, I get it. Trust me, I do and I'm sorry."

Olivia rolled her eyes because she was getting really, really tired of those two words 'I'm sorry'. Ignoring her statement, she asked, "How did you get my number?" At this point she wanted to pinpoint who she should be directing her anger at. Who was the person who blindsided her with this emotional upheaval?

Timidly she heard her answer, "your husband."

It felt like a sharp knife sliced through her chest, wounding her deeply when she answered. She truly didn't expect that it would be Fitz. Why would he do that? She questioned. Fitz would never betray me like this, she thought.

"Congrats by the way…" she heard faintly but her mind was still reeling from her confession.

The sharp sound of the front door being closed and Bubba's low rumble broke her out of her memory. Fitz was home. The half filled cup in her hand was now cold as she was too dazed to remember to drink the tea. A fire in her belly was instantly alight and she knew then that she was still very angry with her husband. She looked over at the clock on the stove and noticed that it was a few minutes to nine.

"Livvie," she heard his deep voice calling from the living room as he probably untied his work boots at the door. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. She was still a firm giver of the silent treatment when she was upset or angry. She thought it was best until she could get her emotions in check –preventing her from speaking in haste.

Tossing the lukewarm tea down the sink, Olivia quickly rinsed the mug before turning it down in the dish rack. Her hands made their way to her lower back as she kneaded the tightening muscles there. She woke up so distressed that she'd forgone her morning stretching routine.

She made her way out of the kitchen and to the living room only to run into Fitz as he was making his way into the kitchen. "Good morning," she mumbled, not looking at him. Fitz stopped but she kept walking.

"Liv," Fitz called softly after her, rerouting his steps to follow her as she made her way to the stairs. Olivia kept on walking like she hadn't heard him. Once they were inside of the master suite Olivia moved to the walking closet to pull out an outfit for the day, which was a difficult feat these days. She'd rather dress in maxi dresses all day long but with the change of season it wasn't too weather friendly. So she pulled out a thick pair of black winter leggings and a maternity denim shirtdress with her brown winter boots, all the while Fitz stood aside watching. When his presence was becoming unbearable she finally shot him a look. "How may I help you?" She asked in a harsh voice. He was still in his work uniform: logoed polo with a thermal shirt underneath and black pants. She could sense that he was annoyed with her based off of his clenched jaw.

"Nothing," he finally said before receding to the en suite bathroom.

She was perturbed by his turn of attitude. After all, she was the one who was wronged and he should be grappling for her forgiveness. But alas, he went off sulking. She rolled her eyes in annoyance.


Olivia and Tina were roaming the halls of the crowded Water Town Place shopping mall for over an hour. The main event of the day was to buy basic baby clothes: onesie in neutral colors since they didn't know the sex as yet, blankets, etc. With the holiday season in full bloom the sales accompanied it. Initially she was going to do all of this with Fitz, but his hatred for shopping irked her so she'd rather go with someone who wasn't impatient when it came to shopping and who would also give valuable input, and that person was Tina.

"Teens, I'm hungry," Olivia breathed as they exited the Children's Place store. Olivia had to refrain from buying cute little dresses and cute little blue suits since she wasn't sure which one or if both would be needed. She couldn't wait to find out what they were getting to really begin the shopping.

"What you want to eat?" the chocolate goddess asked. Tina was dressed in skin tight blue jeans, with a cream off the shoulder sweater with a long gold necklace dangling between her breasts, complemented by black knee high boots and her green pea coat in hand. Her hair was skillfully box braided in kanekalon.

"I didn't eat breakfast so preferably some pancakes."

"Liv!" Tina chided. "You're eating for three. Why didn't you eat?"

"I wasn't hungry," she explained to her friend, which was in part truth. She wasn't hungry because she was too upset at her husband.

Tina shook her head in disapproval and grabbed her friend's hand with her free one before pulling her to the food court area, which was two floors down. After a brief scan of the place they found a quaint little café that sold breakfast. The minute they entered into the establishment the waft of scrumptiously cooking food hit them, causing Olivia's tummy to rumble. She blushed at the sound. The place was full but lucky for them they were able to acquire a seat in the back part of the restaurant, overlooking the surrounding buildings with rooftops covered in snow. The snow hadn't let up and was predicted to fall four inches that day.

A friendly brunette named Lisa was their waitress and she took their drink orders while they perused the menu. By the time she came back with Olivia's hot chocolate and orange juice and Tina's decaffeinated coffee they were both ready to give their orders. Olivia ordered their breakfast sampler, which came with two pancakes, two pieces of French toasts, a slice of ham, two strips of bacon, two sausage links and her eggs over hard while Tina only ordered a side of strawberry pancakes since she'd already eaten.

The girls were talking amicably as they waited for their food.

"So, what are you hoping for?" Tina asked in relation to what babies she was hoping to get.

"Honestly, I don't know. One of each would be nice so I won't have to ever go through this again," she quipped before chortling.

"I hear you," Tina also laughed.

Olivia sobered up before asking, "When the timing is right would you be up to having a baby with Stephen?"

Tina shrugged her shoulders before sipping her coffee. "Honestly, I don't know. Truth be told, I never wanted kids but then I got Michael, and he's the best thing that has happened to me." Olivia began feeling apprehensive because maybe it wasn't a good idea to potentially ask her and Stephen to be legal guardians of the twin in case something happened to her and Fitz.

Olivia nodded her understanding despite officially feeling nervous. However, she didn't let it show. She asked, "Does Stephen talk about wanting kids?"

"No. At least not right now. He's still adjusting to Michael. This is all sort of foreign to him, so I'm sure a baby isn't on his mind."

Olivia took a generous sip of her hot chocolate. "And, if he brings it up, then what?"

"Then, we'll cross that bridge," Tina returned coolly.

Maybe all hope is not lost, Olivia thought, mentally crossing her fingers.

At that moment, their waitress arrived with their food and for the remainder of their stay there was hardly any chatter at least on Olivia's part. She was too busy feeding her and the little ones. And by the time the tab was settle she felt lethargic so they relocated to the plush seating area over by the fountain for much reprieve before recommencing their shopping. Being pregnant was making Olivia do and feel things that she never did before; such as the constant need to nap, but she didn't mind it.

While they were sitting and people watching Olivia's phone rang. Immediately, she knew who it was based off of the special ringtone. She excused herself from the conversation and answered, "yes."

"Did you see my toolbox that I left in the nursery?" She processed his question for a minute, trying to remember what she did with his toolbox because she did remember moving it. Pregnancy brain was no joke.

"I think I put it back in the tools shed."

He grumbled something about moving his things without his knowledge over the phone and she bit her tongue from lashing out, mindful of her surroundings.

"Anything else I can help you with?" she posed in a sugary tone.

"No, thanks," he responded tersely.

"Ok, bye," Olivia said before ending the call and tossing her phone into her tote bag.

"What?" she asked Tina who was staring at her from the single armchair with newfound interest.

"Is everything alright?" Tina queried.

"Everything is peachy." Olivia smiled widely to emphasize her point.

"Cut the bullshit." Tina returned.

"Seriously, I don't want to talk about it. Everything is too fresh and I'm still very angry." Olivia could already feel herself getting worked up.

Tina nodded in understanding; she wasn't going to force her to say what she didn't want to say. After all, she knew her friend. She would only talk when she was truly ready to. And when she was, she will be her sounding board of wisdom.

Pushing aside the conversation, the ladies resumed shopping in a leisurely fashion, in contrast to the hustling and bustling of surrounding Christmas shoppers.


Olivia returned home to an eerily quiet house. The first stop she made was to the nursery to drop off the bags of goodies she bought. It was then that she noticed that the long awaited bookshelf was completed. The sight of it made her smile and the fact that Fitz labored over it was heartwarming. It was a four-row bookshelf in a crisp gray color to match the décor of the room. The room was finally coming together and she couldn't wait to see the finish product. Discarding the bags of clothes into an armchair in the corner that they'd gotten from the thrift store, which was to be reupholstered once they found out the babies genders, she retreated from the room.

She debated whether to climb the stairs to their room or stay put in the living room. She did the latter. After using the guest bathroom downstairs, she ambled towards the kitchen for a drink of water before retiring on the couch with the remote in hand.

For several minutes she laughed at the dysfunctional functional relationship between Bow and her mother in law on Black-ish. This show was her new favorite indulgence. She enjoyed all the kids and the relationships they have with each other and with their parents and grandparents. She wondered if she would be blessed with a sarcastic Diane or a softhearted Andre. It didn't matter if they were as feisty as Zoey or troublesome like Jack; she was going to love them anyways. Her hands gravitated towards her belly and she began rubbing it affectionately as she whispered. "I love you two so much. I'll always protect you and never belittle you the way I've been belittled. I'll always lift you up and help make your dreams a reality. The things I've been through I pray that you never have to go through them. Mommy loves you, so, so much." A few tears escaped the sides of her eyes and she gently wiped at them with the back of her left hand. She refocused her attention on the TV.


Fitz' POV

It was now afternoon and Fitz had finally woken from his slumber and made his way downstairs. He and Olivia planned on going Christmas tree shopping but he realized that was probably not going to happen since she was still giving him the cold shoulder.

At first he didn't know how to address her being that he was afraid to set off fireworks by pressing the wrong buttons so he settle for a very casual statement.

"Liv, we should probably leave in the next hour or so to go get the tree."

He watched as she sat up in the sofa, fixing her dress and hair before standing to her feet. "I'm not going," she mumbled.

"Why not?" He scowled.

"I don't want to go." She shook her head in an exasperated fashion before wobbling towards the guest bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"We already planned this a week ago. As a matter of fact, you're the one who insisted on getting a live tree this year so you're coming!" Fitz didn't know what came over him but he was suddenly very angry. He always hated when she gave him the cold shoulder and silent treatment because she always manage to get beneath his skin and it infuriated him. He'd rather her yelling at him, at least then he knew that she was still in this with him. But indifference, smelt like giving up; at least to him.

"Why don't you ask your friend Claris to accompany you!" he heard the venom in her voice coming through the walls of the bathroom. He sighed, running his fingers through his dark brown locks. He remained quiet, waiting for her to exit the bathroom. Two minutes later, she finally did.

"Liv," he called her name earnestly, moseying over to her in two quick strides. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head and put up her hand to stop him. "I don't want to hear it." She turned away from him when he got too close and began retreating to the kitchen.

"Can you hear me out?"

She shook her head again.

"Olivia, come on. Please…"

She spun around on her heels, almost knocking the wind out of her chest. Luckily, the kitchen island was in hand reach and she held onto it for support as she spoke. "Why didn't you warn me? You could've been like, 'hey, Livvie, guess what? Your grandmother wants your phone number. Should I give it to her or not?'" she mimicked his voice. "But you didn't! And I'm angry with you! You made the executive decision on something that is so huge and I'm. Pissed. Off!"

Fitz had never seen her so angry and hurt all at the same time so he stayed put, a foot away from her. He sighed before saying; "at the time I thought it was a good idea to give you a push in the right direction because she sounded remorseful for what she did to you. I honestly thought I was helping, and if I had warned you, I knew you would've shut it down, and I didn't want to stop something that could potentially give you something you always wanted. You always talk about us being the only family for the twin and I just thought…" he trailed.

He watched as the tears start falling from her eyes. "Please don't cry, baby. I never wanted to make you cry," he said somberly.

"You have no idea how much this hurts," Olivia sobbed. "It's like when I think I am over everything she's done to me, she pops into my life and the band aid is removed, leaving me to bleed all over again. I hate that she still affects me." Her tears were coming faster this time so her words were coming out muffled. Fitz attempted to close the gap between them but she held up her hands, barring him.

"I can't trust her, Fitz. What if I accepted her apology and let her in again and she hurts me? I'm only opening up myself to be hurt again. I can't do it." This time Fitz didn't heed her warning to stay away. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her, as she sobbed into his chest. He knew in partial how much she was hurting based off of personal experience. However, he had to remember that his situation with his mother was different than hers and Claris. His mother never demeaned him. And for the first time he was finally seeing clearly from his wife point of view, and he was sorry for the part he had to play in drudging up past pains that were still there.

"Livvie, I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I should've never given her your phone number. Please forgive me," he whispered softly against her hairline over and over. He held her closer as though his body was a sponge, absorbing her agony. He wished it were.

They stood in the kitchen for several minutes until her tears had dissipated. Olivia pulled away from him slightly, and in a hoarse voice said, "Please don't do that to me again. It's supposed to be me and you against the world, not the other way around."

Fitz gave her a small smile. "I know."

"And, you'll consult me always on decisions that will impact my life," she paused, moving his left hand to rest on her belly. "Our lives?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Good, then I forgive you," she smiled and he leaned down to kiss her soft lips, in which he was grateful that she accepted.

"Thank you," he mumbled against her lips before deepening the kiss for a few seconds.

"Let's go find our Christmas tree," she breathed out.

Fitz smirked at her returned enthusiasm and conceded to her wishes.


Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this update. You got a snippet of the call with Grandma Claris. She's seeking forgiveness and Olivia is left with a heap of unwanted emotion regarding how to handle the situation. Grandma Claris is truly remorseful but now it's up to Olivia. What should she do? On the plus side, Fitz and Liv are back on good terms and he better not pull a move like that ever again. HA! Let me know what you think of this update. Also, I need you to answer the following poll regarding the gender of the babies:

Boy + Boy

Boy + Girl

Girl + Girl

I already have an idea so let's see how many of you agree with it since I'm unsure. Once again, thank you for reading and I hope you'll be as kind to leave a review.

I also want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in case I don't update this story again for the year 2015. :) Btw, this story is about to be a year old soon. Woohoo…

Until next time,

XOXO