Hi hi!

This is an old fic I found somewhere in the dust, that I kinda like and was sorry I never published…. So, I'm doing it now. Part 2 will be up soon!

Also, thank you all for kind comments on my other stories 3 They always lift me up, and quite a few of them arrived just when I needed them the most. I don't know, I thought about continuing the MS verse too once I post all chapters on this story… what do you think?

Enjoy!

Jace Wayland was a lot of things.

He was smart (according to himself, and decidedly not according to Alec), agile, strong, and smokingly hot.

Right now, he was also smoking and covered in copious amounts of green goo.

In overall conclusion, Jace Wayland was in a massive, massive amount of trouble.

Screams were echoing somewhere on his left.

Improved in training, my arse.

Simon was giving his best, but he still wasn't a match for an overjoyed demon with a weird foot fetish.

Jace kicked the thing above him angrily. He was aching to run and stab whatever was looming over his vampire.

If anything, to finally stop those awful noises!

However, he currently had his own problems to solve.

"Bad slime! That's not a chew toy!" he kicked angrily at the creature holding his sword in its mouth, right above blond's head. Thing just swallowed his leg.

"Ewwww, c'mon!" Jace protested, pulling his leg out. Green-black slime dripped off his black pants, leaving a rotten smell.

Jace screamed angrily and tried butheading the creature, in the same moment Simon started calling for help. It didn't do much, except making him feel like he stuck his head in a bucket of warm jello.

"Jace, help! This thing melted my shoe! How did he melt my shoe?!"

"I'm a bit busy right now!" Blond called back, wiggling as the demon attacked him again. He rolled left just in time to avoid getting his head melted off his shoulders.

"Jace! Hurry! He's melting my socks! My socks! And they smell - even to me!"

"Try throwing them at the higher demon attacking me right now!" he yelled back as the ball of goo in front of him tried to bite him with one of its tails.

He blocked everything demon threw at him, but the thing seemed to have more energy than he expected. As the seconds stretched into small enternity, Jace became aware of three things:

None of his weapons seemed to work on the creature. It was stronger, faster, and way more advanced than any low-profile demon he expected to find, and was therefore equipped to deal with.

He had no means to call for backup. Nobody could come help them. That might have been connected with the fact nobody even knew they were here.

They were screwed. There was no nice way to say this.

"Ouch!" one of the demon's tails tripped him over, and the other slammed the back of his head into the ground. Black spots appeared in his vision.

"Jace! Jace!" Simon...was it Simon? Jace shook his head. Why couldn't he concen… Tail grabbed him by the neck. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't… somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware of voice calling his name. He couldn't see anymore.

"Jac…." flashes were going off in his head. There was a blurred pang of pain as his arms fell down his sides and banged into the wall behind him.

Wall? He had no idea when the demon even moved them, pressing him into the wall half a meter above ground.

"Ja…"

Is this how I'm going to die?

He didn't want to die.

He was so young. And he was finally happy, for once! It just wasn't fair some bloody half-breed from third circle decided to bring him on a home-tour.

Darkness was dawning on him faster then he would've liked. It all felt unreal (although it could have been from the lack of oxygen), or like a dream.

I just hope to dream of….

WHAP!

Tentacle-tail-arm thingy around his neck suddenly lost its hold. Gasping for air, Jace fell on his knees. Strong arms couldn't catch him before he collapsed on the ground.

"Jace! Jace! Are you okay?! By the Angel, what happened here?"

Gentle, concerned hands grabbed his chin and his shoulder, raising his head higher for inspection. He coughed, rasping violently before finally blinking through the dark spots swimming in his vision.

Alec!

Jace completely forgot about him.

"Jace? Breathe, c'mon, buddy…" his face was soft, deep, calming. Low voice soothed the adrenaline, and Jace, for the first time in hours, felt like he could breathe normally – well, maybe not in that moment, his throat was still hurting, but soon...

Alec! How could have I forgotten about him?

"That's it. Good, that's it. C'mon, come back to me."

Burn of iratze on his arm sent a shudder through his spine. Dark spots completely cleared out, and his vision finally stopped spinning. Edges unblurred, lines became harder…

And he remembered exactly what about Alec he tried to forget.

Oh-oh…

Angry lines on older's forehead were showing even now, with his face concerned more than ever. Jace gasped again, but this time it was only partly from exhaustion.

Once Alec saw colour returning to his face, lines on his forehead got even deeper.

Angrier.

"Hi there." his voice was sweet.

"Wanna tell me why you were in the lair of a higher demon all by yourself?"

Shudder that went through Jace had very little to do with cold.

"To kill it?" he returned, equally as sweet. It was broken of in a yelp as Alec slapped the back of his still throbbing head, none too gently at that.

"I'm the only one that's going to kill someone tonight, it seems." Alec growled before grabbing his collar.

As Jace was unceremoniously dragged to his feet and out the door of the abandoned warehouse, Alec repeated his question again.

"Let me rephrase that for you. Why were you in a lair all by yourself, when I specifically told you not to leave the Institute without the backup?!"

"I had backup." Jace grumbled as his parabatai turned him around, inspecting him for bruises and cuts. Sting of the another iratze rune burned worse than usual, he noticed with a hiss.

"Simon is not a backup!" Alec scolded again. "He's not trained properly, he doesn't know how to take on these sorts of threats! You should've known better, Jace! If anything, he was a liabili- !"

"Speaking of, where is he exactly?"

Alec rolled his eyes at his parabatai's antics. His palm itched to learn him a lesson in respect. And then another one on self preservation! Still, he knew Jace wouldn't listen before he found out.

"Izzy and Mag are with him. They're treating a burn on his foot."

Blond's insides turned with guilt. If only I hadn't lead him with me…

Still, aside for a guilty flinch of his lips, he kept his face carefully calm, only nodding as Alec turned him around to look at him again.

"Too bad it didn't catch his face...would have made it nicer to look at."

Alec rolled his eyes before grabbing his collar again and walking him away.

"I'd more worry for myself if I were you." he commented. Jace gulped. With how hard Alec was holding his shirt, he would be surprised if that statement didn't prove true by the end of the night.

And if that didn't clue him in on the fact he was dead, call in the office definitely did the trick.

He breathed in again, staring at the door heatedly. He knew he screwed up. He knew, really. Still, the call to the office still surprised him more than it should have.

He could've just came to my room. He mused again. He usually does!

Yes, when you disobey in something smaller. Like backtalk. Disrespect. Fighting with Simon!

Another voice reminded him. He told that voice to can it before continuing his earlier monologue.

I was fighting with Simon….

..against two demons. Voice piped in.

Shut up.

This was bad. If Alec came to his room, it usually meant some scolding, maybe an extra training or a supervision put upon his head again. Punishments of a more…. physical kind… were shorter in his room, and done with some less dangerous instruments.

Blond blushed again. Who was he kidding? Alec was going to skin him for this.

Maybe I can run away again. I heard Clary talking about 'Bahamas'? They sound nice…

He really, really didn't want a… whatever Alec had planned for him. Paddling, maybe? Belting? He didn't even want to think about other possibilities.

It's stupid. He repeated, who knows now many times now.

It wasn't the instrument he hated, though. It wasn't like he liked them, but he was used to the pain. What bothered him were more… psychological aspects, let's say.

In his room, Alec dealt with disobedience. With brattiness. Defiance. In his room, he was being punished because he disobeyed the rules. Or his boss - an authority figure.

But in that office, it wasn't only about authority. It was to remind him. Walls with papers and books on them reminded him of Clave, of things he risked by doing what he did. Of the hard work that could've gone to waste if he ended up in jail.

Again.

But the hand on his back, and the voice that scolded him? They reminded him of much bigger risks. Of everything he put on line by risking his own neck needlessly, everyone he hurt by being too reckless once again.

In that office, he disappointed his Head of the Institute. But, more than that, he disobeyed his leader. His protector. And, most importantly -

he disobeyed Alec.

So yeah, he hated the office.

C'mon, Herondale, don't be a baby.

It was easier said than done. His heart was beating like a drum.

Malta sounds nice, doesn't it? he contemplated desperately once again.

Or North pole. North pole sounds good too.

Before he managed to change his next destination to the depths of Amazona, doors opened in front of his raised hand.

"Are you planning on coming in or would you prefer to huff and puff some more?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

Jace put on his best poker face and huffed again, intentionally.

"I don't know about you, but some of us need a minute to think before arguing with an angry troll." he blurted, before even thinking it through.

Alec raised his eyebrow at him, and crossed his arms across his chest.

Jace couldn't help but notice he's been working on his biceps lately.

They were huge. Seriously, no human should've had arms that big.

"A troll? Really?" he sighed moving to the side.

"Giant was too clichè." Jace mumbled, sliding in. Alec rolled his eyes, cuffing his head again while closing the door behind them.

"Sit down, Jace." he ordered.

Oh, joy! A lecture!

Jace barely managed to bite his tongue before plopping himself in a chair. This way, he was positioned right across the table Alec was usually sitting at….

Wait a minute.

Jace's eyes widened as he caught the end of something tucked at the side of the table.

No way. No, no, no, NO bloody way he's thinking of using that!

Thin black cane sat smugly just in Alec's arms' reach. Jace gulped.

No way.

He hadn't been caned in….months! Why would Alec use it now?!

Because you screwed up, big time? Remember that? Simon hurt, demon drool… ring any bells?

He once again told the voice at the back of his mind to shove it. He had enough problems without it already.

"So, let's run over tonight's events, shall we?" Alec startled him, coming to the table. He brushed the vile object with tips of his fingers, and blond shuddered involuntarily. Alec almost laughed at his disgusted expression. He had to turn around so that Jace wouldn't catch him smiling. With a deep breath, he composed himself and finally started talking.

"I'll say what I think happened, and you will for once listen and keep your mouth shut." he stated, waving the cane casually. Just because he could.

Jace gulped. Alec smiled coldly before continuing to talk.

"Then, you will tell me if I guessed correctly, and add some details I possibly missed. I will maybe ask some questions, and you will answer them shortly and honestly. Then, you will be punished for what you did. And as always, we will close this chapter, never to speak of it again."

For a moment, younger male felt scared. He knew Alec was right. He messed up, risked their lives, broke Heaven knows how many protocols and rules. He deserved it.

And while he would never admit it, it hurt him to see Alec so disappointed in him.

Problem was, he never dealt with feeling hurt the way he was supposed to. Hence, not a moment after that thought struck him, he felt himself growing angry instead.

Punish me? He didn't even hear my side of the story yet! 'Oh, Simon and Jace went to a mission they weren't cleared for, and almost got killed! Let's just blame Jace for everything!'

Well, that kinda was your fault…

that voice just wouldn't shut up today, would it?!

"Jace?" Alec was clearly waiting for an answer. Blond nodded nervously, still trying to keep a carefully calm facade. Alec looked him up and down, assessing the situation before starting to talk.

"Okay. So here is what I think happened here. When we practiced this morning, you were pushing yourself even more than usual. I didn't think much of it, to be honest. You tend to overwork yourself quite often. Not that I really like that, either, but that's a problem for another time. Then, later at lunch, you seemed annoyed. I wasn't sure what that was all about until Izzy started talking about our latest mission, and the demon we slayed."

"Which one exactly?" Jace was nonchalantly drawing circles on armrest with pad of his left index finger. Alec rolled his eyes, again.

"You know the one. Ugly, three heads, claws with poison in them? The one Clary, Izzy and I went to catch? The one I had to have Magnus babysit you not to go back to, after you successfully disobeyed me first time we went to kill it?"

Younger Shadowhunter grit his teeth. "Yeah, I remember. The one when you decided to act like a total jerk." he spat.

When Alec stared him down, he somehow found enough shreds of self-preservation to redirect his glare at the floor. Alec hummed in response.

"Yeah. Well, she started talking about it, and you left. In a hurry, as it seemed. Which wouldn't be something to worry about, hadn't I gone to check on you and realised you weren't in your room!"

And heeeere we gooo.

"And, what a surprise, neither was Simon. You know where were you? On a mission! On an uncleared terrain, without backup, or any knowledge what you were getting into!" he scolded. Jace's knuckles were white on the armrests as he stared at the floor heatedly. Rage and fear mixed with guilt were playing a russian roulette on his nerves.

"What do you wanna say?" he growled, glaring at Alec darkly. Older's hand twitched around the

cane's handle.

"What I wanna say, Jace, is that you somehow got it into that thick skull of yours you were gonna get back at me. You once again went proving something unnecessary to no one particular just because you were feeling like it without doing the reality check beforehand!"

"I didn't!" Jace yelled back. His cheeks were a red shade of embarrassment, and he was gritting his teeth to stop himself from saying something he'll regret. Strips of flaming hot shame ate at him at torturing pace. It only served to make him angrier.

"Oh really? Cause it seems to me that was exactly what you were doing! I even think you talked Simon into going! 'C'mon, it can be a test!'' 'You can prove you're ready!' 'Don't be such a baby!' " Alec mocked.

Very adult-like, Jace remarked.

"Sounds familiar, Herondale?"

"Shut up, Lightwood." Jace grit out. Alec looked at him with something like shocked amusement playing on his face.

"My, my, what a problem we have with that attitude, huh? We'll have to fix that among other things, it seems."

With that, he grabbed the cane and started striding towards Jace.

Needles to say, younger bolted out of his chair and ran to the other side without really thinking it through.

"Wait, wait!"

Jace's heart was running. All the rage dissolved like a whisper, and he once again felt scared now that the threat of caning was hanging so close above his head. Please don't let him use that thing on me again!

"You… you said you'd hear m-my part of the story." he cursed himself inwardly as his voice broke in the middle.

Screw what I said about pain, that thing bloody hurts!

Alec stopped again, raising his eyebrow in question.

"You wanna tell me I'm not right?"

Jace tried to come up with an answer that didn't involve his arse getting handed back to him with an addition of decorative red stripes.

He came up almost empty.

Unless...

"I...I…"

Should I really do this?

Alec seemed to be as confused by his expression as he currently felt.

"Jace?"

"I...I didn't…" he struggled.

I don't wanna get the cane!

It still doesn't make it right!

Voice was screaming at him from the inside. Jace concluded it had to be his conscience talking.

Oh, c'mon! Simon doesn't even get punished like this! He gets it easier!

"Jace?" Now Alec seemed unsure.

"You wanna tell me you don't think you deserve to get punished?"

"I…"

You know you were right! You could've done it if it weren't for Simon!

But to blame it on him…

He'll get grounded or something. You'll get that!

But…

It isn't fair that he gets off the hook so easily.

He's not as experienced.

And you are. You could've done it.

"I didn't want to go." Jace blurted out. Words burned him on their way out.

Alec's eyes widened. Jace gulped, glancing at the cane. His mouth were as dry as a dessert in august.

"He… he wanted to prove he's ready. I didn't want him to kill himself. So I went too. I.. I admit I was…bit out of it earlier in the day, but that's because I… I was just still angry at you and… and this just came in a right time, you know...and besides, I...heard what he was about to do."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I though he wasn't serious, that he's just… I don't know, messing around or something. Plus, as mentioned, I was still annoyed. But I didn't want to get him in trouble without reason. I couldn't be sure…"

He hated how easily lies rolled off his tongue. They tasted foul, and wrong. His stomach was doing guilty backflips inside, making him feel sick and weak. Every nerve in his body urged him to tell the truth.

Alec didn't look convinced. "Jace, are you lying to me?"

Younger gulped and shook his head no.

Alec stared him down for a moment, before relenting – reluctantly.

"Are you…what will I do with you?" Head of the Institute ran his hands through strands of black hair. Jace briefly wondered if he started getting grey hairs already.

Alec sighted, crossing his arms and leaning on a table. He breathed in a few times, letting silence fall over the room like a curtain. When he started talking again, it was in a calm, deep voice.

"I don't have any proof beside your honest word here, Jace. I talked with Simon already, but I hadn't asked any specifics. I... kinda assumed you were the leader of your little charade. So, if you're being honest… promise me." Alec asked. He seemed much calmer now than minutes ago.

"Wh… what?" One part of Jace was still kinda surprised his desperate ramble actually worked. Alex sighed and lowered the cane. His eyes got softer again.

"Tell me you don't deserve this, and I won't punish you." he said.

Jace's mouth got dry.

Then, before he could've stopped them, words rolled out and past his lips.

"Well, try sometimes actually listening to people before accusing them of absurd crimes, yeah? Then you maybe won't have problems like these."

Hurt look crossed Alec's face before he smoothed it into a neutral mask.

Jace wanted to slap himself.

Seriously, I'll get myself a muzzle one of these days.

"Very well." Alec nodded, returning to his desk. Cane was quickly thrown into second tray on the right side of the table.

"Dismissed."

Jace nodded and exited the office. He barely felt walking to the next corridor. Only when he stopped and leaned on the wall, his insides turned with disgust. He started cursing himself lowly into his hands.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed there. It was too long to be considered healthy, probably.

And way too little to help him soothe the feeling of guilt that kept creeping at his heart.

Moving from the wall, he repeated the mantra again and again in his head.

Ignore it, it will just go away.