Heyo! This is for my rewrite/AU of Warriors, Kittypets Unite!
Also, some notes for worldbuilding:
- Caretakers, Lorekeepers, and Permaqueens are ranks I added
- Medicine cats are now called druids
- Smudgepaw is Spottedleaf's apprentice
- Fawnpaw (Princess) is Tigerclaw's apprentice
- Firepaw is Mousefur's apprentice
- Fawnpaw is rough and tumble, protective of her loved ones, hard working, and stubborn as hell. She's also pretty crass
Fawnpaw: You really think I give a fuck? I can't even read
Sandpaw: Can you PLEASE be serious for five minutes?!
Graypaw: My record is four, but I think I can do it
Fawnpaw: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Tigerclaw: You mean literally or figuratively?
Fawnpaw: Honestly, the fact I have to specify…
Sandpaw: You can't wake up if you never get sleep…
Sandpaw: Is going to tell me what happened here?!
Dustpaw: It's kind of complicated, but Graypaw-
Sandpaw: Got it. Forget I asked
Graypaw: Ooo, somebody's got a crush!
Dustpaw: Pfft, I don't have a crush on Fawnpaw! I just think she's cool, it's not like I stay up at night thinking about her!
Dustpaw later that night, very much awake: Uh oh
Ravenpaw: Graypaw has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced him.
Firepaw: That can't be true!
Ravenpaw: Watch this
Ravenpaw, yelling: HEY GRAYPAW, RACE YOU TO THE FRESH KILL PILE!
Graypaw: *Jumps out of a hole in the den*
Dustpaw: … My man Graypaw just caught and killed a fish
Graypaw: *Licks his lips* Yep! Delicious!
Dustpaw: Sandpaw, you're my best friend!
Sandpaw, angry: Best friend? BEST FRIEND? Bitch, I'm your only friend!
Sandpaw: *jabs paw into Dustpaw chest, eyes narrowing*: I'm the only one who can tolerate your dumb ass!
Ravenpaw to Graypaw: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for twenty-four hours!
Smudgepaw: I'm not superstitious… but I am a little stitious
Sandpaw: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll cry all day
Smudgepaw: If you took a shot for every bad decision you made, how drunk would you be?
Ravenpaw: Maybe a little tipsy?
Fawnpaw: Drunk
Firepaw: Wasted
Graypaw: Dead
Smudgepaw after putting the wrong herb on an infected wound: Oh fiddlesticks!
Spottedleaf: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language
Firepaw: Do you need help getting up?
Fawnpaw after a battle training session with Tigerclaw: Nah, I'm cool here on the floor.
Firepaw: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like 'look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.
Graypaw: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.
Sandpaw, screaming: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Ravenpaw, terrified: I-it was me…
Sandpaw: …Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
Dustpaw, annoyed and at his limit: Can you stop doing stupid shit…
Dustpaw, yelling at a fearful Graypaw: FOR FIVE MINUTES?!
Runningwind: I'm not creepy, I'm petty. There's a difference, ya know!
Fawnpaw to Longtail: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, goddamnit!
Ravenpaw: The last time I went to the medicine den for the seasonal checkup, I said excessive crying as a symptom, and then Spottedleaf got really confused and said that it was meant for kits.
Sandpaw, defensive: What? I'm not aggressive!
Firepaw: Last Tuesday, you whacked me with a stick and stole my mice.
Sandpaw, nonchalant: *shrugs* Survival of the fittest, bitch.
Tigerclaw: When I was your age-
Fawnpaw, much older and a little taller that him, in a mocking tone: You mean when I was your height?
Tigerclaw: …
Tigerclaw: … listen here you little shit-
Redtail, dead: Don't joke about murder! I was murdered once and it offends me
Mousefur to Firepaw: I've met some insufferable people. But they've also met me
Sandpaw: Truth or dare?
Dustpaw: Dare.
Sandpaw: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Dustpaw: Hey Graypaw?
Graypaw, blushing: Yeah?
Dustpaw: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Fawnpaw
Firepaw, watching Dustpaw and Graypaw fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Sandpaw, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Firepaw, curious: *tilts head* Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
*Fighting stops*
Dustpaw: Sandpaw
Graypaw: Sandpaw
Sandpaw: Me
Sandpaw: Person A, what do you have?
Graypaw, running away: A KNIFE!
Brindleface, talking about Graypaw: Is this a friend of yours, Sandy?
Sandpaw: Kind of? Not really. His in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.
Smudgepaw, confused: How did you break your leg?
Graypaw, pointing a pile of branches the caretakers set out to repair dens: Do you see those branches
Smudgepaw, still confused: Yes.
Graypaw: Well I sure didn't.
Firepaw after bringing back Yellowfang: Ravenpaw, I screwed up, big time.
Ravenpaw, sighing: Firepaw, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.
Dustpaw, much older and dating Fawnpaw: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Fawnpaw: The the rotten prey
Dustpaw: Wh-
Fawnpaw: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to sort through it. You still haven't tossed it out and I have asked you to do so several times.
Ravenpaw, after seeing Tigerclaw kill Redtail: N... No!
Tigerclaw, standing in front of Ravenpaw: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint; Y... Yes?
Mousefur and Runningwind in unison: I keep all of you in mind constantly. Whenever I face difficulties, I just think about you lot.
The apprentices, flattered: Awwww-
Mousefur and Runningwind in unison: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The apprentices: Oh…
Mousefur: Okay, stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bisexual, whatever
Mousefur, claws unsheathed: I identify as a fucking threat!
Ravenpaw, holding a garter snake he found: Hey Dustpaw, I found a pet snake! What should I name him?
Sandpaw: A pet WHAT?!
Sandpaw: I hope you have an explanation for this.
Firepaw, covered in catnip leaves and grass stains: We have three actually-
Graypaw, also covered in catnip leaves and grass stains: Pick your favorite.
Dustpaw: Why is Ravenpaw crying?
Smudgepaw: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Ravenpaw: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Dustpaw: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say-
Ravenpaw: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Dustpaw, distraught: NO, NOT THAT!
Mousefur: *cuffs Runningwind on the ears* Runningwind! What did I tell you about lying?
Runningwind, looking down: ...That it only works on Firepaw.
Graypaw: *pitches an idea*
Firepaw, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Sandpaw, under her breath: Yeah, elder duties and nest changing for a moon.
Ravenpaw: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Dustpaw, scoffing: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Ravenpaw, smiling: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Graypaw: Edible.
Mousefur: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.
Ravenpaw to Smudgepaw: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
Sandpaw: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Dustpaw, annoyed: You left me, Graypaw, and Firepaw in the abandoned cabin a day ago
Sandpaw: *rolls eyes* I did that on purpose, try again.
Smudgepaw, concerned: What's up with Dustpaw? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Ravenpaw, eating prey and not looking at Smudgepaw: He's just a little overwhelmed.
Smudgepaw, confused: Why?
Ravenpaw: Fawnpaw smiled at him.
Graypaw: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
Ravenpaw: If an adder bites your dad, it becomes your new dad
Fawnpaw: You have to apologize to them, Dustpaw!
Dustpaw, annoyed: *Huffs and rolls eyes* Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!
Sandpaw: That's not funny.
Graypaw: I thought it was funny!
Sandpaw: YOU don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a pratfall Firepaw took while hunting
