Red Dwarf: Everyone's alive Dave

Authors notes: The idea is a collection of stories based on episodes, based on the idea of the whole red dwarf crew surviving.

Chapter 1: Prologue

J.M.C mining ship Red Dwarf, location: Deep space.

The Jupiter mining corporation vessel known as Red Dwarf was sailing blindly through the vast cosmos of the universe, inside the ship the darkened hallways were dusty but several crew members lay motionless on the floor. A faint humming filled the corridors and the lights begun to power up, illuminating the hallways.

"This is Holly initiating a ship wide broadcast. All personnel report to their nearest briefing room for an emergency broadcast." a voice spoke, reaching every inch of the vast vessel. In the drive room, the entire bridge crew sat up groggily as the lights powered up.

"Is everybody okay?" Captain Hollister asked, looking around in confusion. The last thing he recalled was a red alert siren sounding. The crew on the flight deck reacted, nobody seemed to be injured, "Holly, can you hear me?"

"Of course Captain." the ships computer replied, displaying the image of a balding middle aged man, "We have a slight problem however. The drive plates malfunctioned on the engineering deck."

"The drive plates malfunctioned? Wouldn't that emit a lethal dosage of cadmium 2?" a woman asked, her voice carrying a Scottish accent.

"Yes Miss Polanski." Holly replied, "Sorry Kochanski. The emergency bulkheads were sealed in time, unfortunately due to the malfunction we lost all power to the engines and were left adrift, we were adrift until the levels of cadmium 2 dropped enough to allow us to repair the engines."

"That doesn't make sense." Hollister said, "I'm no scientist, but radiation levels would take years to drop to a safe level."

"As a result of that, I was forced to enable the ship wide stasis field." Holly said, "Until the radiation levels dropped sufficiently."

"Ship wide stasis field?" the flight coordinator asked, he was a messy haired man with a H marked on his forehead.

"Emergency system designed to freeze the ship in time in the event of a ship-wide catastrophic event that would endanger life Mr McIntyre." Holly replied, "I rerouted all nonessential power from the backup systems into the field."

"Okay, so some time passed. How long could it have been?" Kochanski asked, clearly confused.

"Let me see...today is 15 February 3,000,1988, a Monday i believe." Holly said

"Wait...Holly what year did you say?" Hollister asked

"The year is 3 million, nineteen hundred and eighty eight." Holly said.

It took all of his willpower to not break down, but Hollister realised that despite how bad things were, their was over eleven thousand crew members under his command.

Later that day, several crew members sat in briefing rooms awaiting news from the captain.

"So what do you thinks happened?" Lister asked, "Must be serious, i mean we heard an explosion."

"Beats me." Peterson replied, "But when I heard the explosion I just assumed you were on the toilet after a vindaloo." Rimmer shook his head.

"It's not funny Peterson." Rimmer said, "An explosion in engineering could cripple the ship, we could have been killed."

"So what do you reckon then Rimmer? I mean right after the explosion, we're out cold and when we wake up to an emergency broadcast." Lister said. Rimmer simply shook his head.

"No idea Lister, but Hollisters bound to tell us. Ah, it's starting."

"This is Captain Frank Hollister with breaking news. At 7:35 PM, the engines suffered a critical malfunction and the drive plates exploded releasing a dosage of cadmium 2 into the ship. As an emergency precaution, Holly sealed off the engineering deck to keep us alive and activated he stasis fields to keep us alive. As a result, the ship has been drifting for over three million years." Hollister paused to allow the crew to absorb what he was saying.

"My god, three million years?" Rimmer said, "Would the human race still exist?"

"Oh smeg...OH SMEGGING HELL!" Lister said

"What's wrong?" Selby asked

"I didn't return that library book." Lister said, "3 million years at 5 dollar pounds a week for being overdue."

"Don't worry about it Dave, if it's any consolation the librarian is long dead." Holly replied from a nearby monitor.

"The immediate plan is to repair and restart the engines and attempt to find out way back home. For any crew members who need counselling, Doctors Branagin and McLaren are available for short appointments, as are VR doctors in the VR lounges. All maintenance teams are to report to engine rooms."

"C'mon Lister, time to work." Rimmer said.

"Looks like it dunnit." Lister said, "Chen, Selby, Peterson, i'll see you guys later."

Little did the crew know, it was going to be a very long week.

It's cold outside, their's not kind of atmosphere

I'm all alone, more or less.

Let me fly, far away from here. Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun.

I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose, drinking fresh Mango juice.

Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes.

Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun

Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun

Copyright Grant Naylor

Copyright BBC