Hey guys!
So, I decided on what route I wanted to go on. I ended up having Rina stay behind and not get taken with the twins. What I wrote for the other route, Rina goes through a lot of shit. Like, I feel bad making her go through all that and having to take care of him after the incident. I honestly think it would be too much for Rina to handle. Especially with Sebastian being thrown into the mix.
Anyways, I hope you guys don't mind the route I picked. Please enjoy this chapter and comment on anything or everything lol.
(P.S. I keep realizing my chapters are getting longer, sorry about that ^^;)
Thanks for reading!
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The smell of smoke is what brought me to consciousness. My head was throbbing, and my shoulder wasn't any better. Opening my eyes after a couple of minutes, I find fire licking the walls in front of me. Oh my god, the manor was on fire! I struggle greatly to get myself up. I hope Ciel and Fenian were safe for now.
Getting up, I cough harshly due to the smoke in the air. I find Tanaka still on the floor, somehow, he was still breathing. My neck felt as if it was fire also, my shoulder still hasn't stopped bleeding. I tear the bottom of my long shirt and make a makeshift bandage around my shoulder. It will help reduce blood loss by a little bit. I pick up my sword and wrap took it into my empty belt loop. Walking up to Tanaka and I assess the damage done to him.
It would take a miracle to save his life, but I'm not going to leave a living old man in the fire. Picking him up, I slouch him against the wall. It appears he has passed out from the blood loss also. I'm surprised I haven't yet, but I'm not going to question it. I kneel onto the ground, my back facing towards Tanaka. I grab his arms and legs from behind and lift him up onto my back. I almost fell over due to his weight, but I managed to steady myself.
Standing up with a grunt, I begin to trudge through the manor to find a way out. The fire was getting worse and the smoke made it hard to breathe with every second. My back was already aching from holding him and my legs were wobbly. I came to the staircase which was also on fire. I have no choice to take it because there was no way I could jump down there without breaking my legs.
The flames caress my bare calves and I regret wearing shorts now. I know already I was going to have some first-degree burns if the pain said anything about it. I finally reach the bottom of the stairs with great effort. The front door was not far away. The fire was worse down here and flames were waving everywhere. Coughing drily, I reach for the doors. I yank the door wide open and run with the last of my adrenaline.
The cold air that greeted me was a breath of life. I set Tanaka down gently, far away from the burning manor and the snow was beginning to chill me now. I was exposed to the cold elements due to my shorts and shirt. Shivering, I fall to the ground next to him. I take my backpack off and take out layers of clothing. I wrap myself in the clothes and I spare a couple for Tanaka. They won't provide enough warmth, but it was better than nothing.
I lay down as the stars show themselves for the night. My breathing was haggard, and I couldn't move a single finger if I tried. I want to cry, but my eyes were dried up of tears. I was hungry and thirsty as well from all the energy I expelled. I curl up to Tanaka's side to seek more warmth even if he was bleeding out. There wasn't much else I could do.
Will we be saved?
0-0-0-0-0-0
It was cold and gloomy outside, the room I was staying quite warm from the fireplace. The bedroom was blank, reminded me of a bland hospital room. Thank god it didn't smell like one. Apparently, Madam Red had us taken to the Royal London Hospital when news spread around the manor was on fire. We were first taken to a local clinic since Tanaka's wounds were severe. Tanaka and I were passed out on the snow beforehand. Some of the staff made it out of the fire alive too.
Tanaka is in recovery as his wound was large. I urged the doctor to have Tanaka in the same room as the one I am in currently. I didn't want to be eaten by the loneliness. I'm not sure how long I have been here for, perhaps a couple of weeks. Although, everything is like a blur. Nothing and everything on my mind all at once.
I had first-degree burns on my legs like I thought, a couple of bruised ribs, a healing lump on the back of my head, and of course my wounded shoulder. The only time I get out of bed is to use the bathroom. Otherwise, the snow-covered ground and blue sky have been keeping me company in comfortable silence. I know Christmas has passed already; it saddens me more I could not celebrate it with my loved ones.
I wonder often if I was meant to have a family. I keep losing one every time, it scares me quite so. I can't help but think I'm cursed in some sort of way. Leaning my head against the window, my breath fogs the pane of glass. The mirror to the outside world glints back with my reflection. My eyes were darkened, and my skin was sickly pale. I haven't eaten much since the fire, only nibbling on bread when it came. These were the telltale signs of grief; I knew that all too well.
Guilt ate away at my mind every day that passes. Surprisingly, it wasn't over the people I killed but the failed attempt to protect the boys. One thought always haunts my mind is the hope that they are alive. That is the only reason I bring myself to continue living in some sort of way. A shuddering sigh escapes past my parted lips thinking about them. I continue seeing Fenian's terrified eyes before I was knocked out in the manor.
Tears slide my cheeks, wanting more than ever to go back in time and bring him back to safety.
But, of course, I can't do that.
"R-Rina?" I hear a gravelly voice say behind me.
Swiveling my head around, I find Tanaka staring at me in confusion and discomfort. I fumble out of my bed and rush to his side with a wince of pain, "Tanaka!" I grab his hand tightly as more tears prick my eyes, "Thank god, you came back!" I cry out in joy.
Tanaka cracks a small smile, "It's good to know you made it out alive." He abruptly coughs drily. "How about the twins?" he asks while clearing his throat.
My smile lowers to that of a deep frown and I stare at my feet, "I-I lost them..."
Tanaka wraps his other hand around my other which causes me to look at him again. Tears drip down the corner of my eyes automatically. "You-We have tried our best to protect the young masters." Tanaka encourages but I could tell he was very saddened by the news.
"I should've tried harder, it's my fault they both got caught."
Tanaka gets angry after my remark, "You did what you could. Do not blame yourself anymore. You must focus on finding them now."
I nod slowly with a tired sigh, "I suppose so, Tanaka. I think I need time to mourn though."
"Understandable as do I."
I flash him a sad smile and slip my hand from his grasp, "I shall let you rest now."
I head back to my bed and lay down, feeling exhaustion creep back into my mind. I could feel Tanaka's worrying eyes on my back as I face the white wall. The warmth of the fireplace making sleep approach faster.
0-0-0-0-0-0
The funeral for the Phantomhive family has already passed, but Undertaker has yet to bury the couple. I felt well enough to meet him at the graveyard behind the manor. My shoulder was still healing and so was my ribs, but they felt better. The burns on my legs were what I call phantom pains. Tanaka could not come due to his injury was worse than mine.
I open the door and step out of the carriage. I freeze on the spot the minute I find the manor in my eyesight. It was down to crumbles and not even a room was left. The infrastructure was all that was left. I tug the cloak around me tighter, my heart throbbing at the sight of it. Taking a deep breath, I take a step forward and walk toward the family graveyard. All the Phantomhive's were buried there.
Rounding to the back of the manor, I try to steel my emotions. I have cried enough to fill a whole damn lake. The cold air steals my breath away as distant memories take place in my mind at seeing the backyard. I couldn't believe those days were over now. I saw Undertaker standing near the gravesite and I quicken my pace.
"Good morning, Undertaker." I greet casually while walking into the area.
He cackles like the usual, "Hello, little lost girl."
A tick mark appears near my temple, "Must you always address me so?" I ask in irritation.
He shrugs with that insane smile of his, "Am I wrong though?"
I narrow my eyes in suspicion but let it go. I don't have the patience to deal with him. I switch my gaze down to the headstones at my feet. The one in front of me was Vincent and to the left was Racheal. The twin's names were next to Vincent's headstone. My heart continues to ache, and I rub my chest unconsciously.
I kneel to the ground abruptly and bow my head, "Thank you for all that you have done. Your presence shall leave an imprint into my deepest of memories." I whisper near Vincent's grave while I grasp the snow with sorrow.
I couldn't stop the tears once more for my grieving heart would not let me. I silently cry in front of the graves. After a couple of minutes, I stop my sniveling and get up from my position, feeling a bit embarrassed in front of Undertaker. Wiping at my sore eyes, I glance at Undertaker who wore a frown for the first time I have ever seen.
"How are you feeling?" I ask him randomly, knowing that Vincent and he had much contact.
I couldn't see his expression due to it being hidden by his hair, "Nothing particularly." Undertaker replies monotonously.
I hum in understanding, "Ah, I see." It went silent not long after as I was left to drilling thoughts of anything and everything. "How long do you think till I'm not lost anymore?" I wonder out loud switching my gaze to the cloudy sky that matches my mood rather well.
"That depends on you, dearie."
I nod quietly, agreeing with his statement. "How true that is."
Undertaker puts a hand on my shoulder unexpectedly; I startle at the contact in confusion. He pulls out an envelope and holds it out for me, "The earl asked me to deliver this if he died and you survived."
I take it in confusion and give Undertaker a curious stare, his smile was back when I did so. "Is that so?" I put it into the pocket of my coat and curtsey before Undertaker, "Thank you for everything, Undertaker. I shall be taking my leave now."
I turn around and head back to the carriage, but not long Undertaker speaks up behind me. "You better watch where you step from here on out. Everything comes out of the dark at some point."
A chill covers my body and it wasn't due to the weather. I stop for a second, trying to understand what he was saying. Watch my step? Dark? This sounds strangely familiar and I don't like it one bit. I decide not to acknowledge his ominous advice and continue pacing to the carriage waiting for me.
Once I was back on my way to London, I take the envelope out of my coat pocket. The Phantomhive wax stamp was on the back of it. The front read my name unsurprisingly. I trace the wax stamp in wonder if I should open it. In truth, I am afraid of what it's inside. Was it a will? A final parting letter? There was endless of possibilities what the words inside could relay.
My hesitation was great, but I finally decide to open it after a few moments of the debate. I open the envelope carefully to not rip it. I was more than likely going to treasure these two pieces of paper for all my life. Taking a deep breath, I take the piece of paper out and unfold it out in front of me:
Dear Rina,
I have re-done this letter many times as I always find I am short of words. I am sure you are quite astonished that I could ever be. That was humorous, no? Anyways, if you are receiving this, it must mean I am gone from this world. I am sorry...that I have left you in a world where you feel most alone. It was never my intention to do such a thing. I hope that the twins have survived also.
I should not call this a letter, but a separate will of mine, you see. There is something I have hidden from you, even Racheal does not know of this. When I first began to see you as more than a homeless little girl, I decided to adopt you into the Phantomhive family secretly. Racheal signed this without knowing, but that is not the matter right now. You are officially Rina Renee Howell-Phantomhive. A bit of a mouthful, isn't it? I would stick with my last name personally as it sounds more elegant.
I know this may come as a surprise and I hope you do not spite me for making such a change without your permission. I had you adopt my last name in order to take care of you even after my death. Both Racheal and I's families will be furious with what I have done for you, please forgive me for future transgressions. Since you have my name, you have my title, wealth, land, and other possessions kept hidden at the townhouse. If the twins did not survive, I leave everything in your charge. I understand this is a lot to take in. If you do not wish to own any of these things, then please contact the Midford's.
I wish you the best of what life may lead. Be happy for me, find a husband, have many children and spoil them as I did the boys. I know it will take you long to get over our deaths, but please do not give up on yourself nor blame. Take care, dear Rina and may you benefit in this era greatly.
Always in my mind,
From the Phantomhive family and Earl of the Phantomhive estate,
Vincent Phantomhive
Racheal Phantomhive
My hand went slack halfway through the will. He changed my last name and adopted me...I could not believe this. I feel as if my world is at a standstill and nothing could move it. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks, but I did not give it much thought. Clutching the paper in my hand, the crinkles in strain. I begin to tremble, and I lift the piece of paper to my forehead. I was so sick of crying, but I can't help it when things like this happen.
I let a heart-wrenching sob, "Idiot, h-he really was..." I mutter under my breath as I hiccup.
0-0-0-0-0-0
It was nearing the end of the month; I was finally discharged from the hospital. My shoulder was healing very quickly, and the doctors were surprised that I was only a red scar by now. It barely hurt along with my ribs. The burns on my legs were still healing, so I had them wrapped up like a mummy. I was currently staying at the townhouse in London while waiting for Tanaka to heal at the hospital. I plan on taking care of the old man when he recovers; he's a tough one I'll give him that.
I told him how I was a Phantomhive now and he did not seem awfully surprised. I think he secretly knew from Vincent; those sly dogs of men. I barely touched anything Vincent left behind for me yet. I lived in the townhouse all alone, but that was fine with me. I did all the chores and cooking, it made me think of the old days before I came here. No one was ordering me about; I even wore no shoes around the house. While it was refreshing, it was still a distraction.
The end of December brought more snow and chill. I don't think I'll ever be able to view the month the same ever again. Too much tragedy in so little time. I may be healing abnormally fast externally, but internally I was a mess of emotions. I begin to mop the floors as I have nothing better else to do. I was wearing a custom green skirt and a cream long sleeve top with ruffles in the front. I try my best to not wear corsets as I never liked them in the first place. Plus no one could tell me no honestly, I only wear a corset in public.
Nina always has fun designing the things I ask for that she even gives me discounts sometimes. Using the mop, I rub it against the floor aggressively to make sure I get all the dirt. The kitchen was by far the filthiest of all as my talent in cooking is none to zero. My hair kept getting in the way of my vision, so I pull it into a quick ponytail.
Whilst mopping, a strange sensation came over me. It was coming from the doorway behind me. Playing calm, I move my way over to the counter with a knife stand casually. I drop the mop and take one of the knives in a flash, flinging it behind me into the edge of the doorway with precision. I twirl around with a glare only to find a man dressed in a black butler outfit and a child.
My glare lessons while taking in the child's face, realizing it was someone I know. I let out a silent gasp and take in their own widened deep blue eyes. I grip the counter behind me in shock and raise one of my hands to my trembling lips. The boy watches my reaction with a blank face, but his eyes told a different story. They were filled with relief, pain, and sadness.
Tears develop unconsciously and I let them flow freely. The boy begins to walk toward me, "Rina. It's me, Ciel. I'm back."
I rush toward him in a hurry and embrace his tiny body with all I that I could without hurting him. I let out a painful cry and sob over his shoulder. Clutching his cloak, I could feel his bones poking out slightly and I wonder how he got so unhealthily thin, "I-I thought I'd n-never see you guys again." I stutter through my cracking voice.
He hugs me back just as much with all his strength. I nuzzle my head against his head unconsciously and he buries his head into my shoulder. "I-I thought you may have died." Ciel mutters into my ear.
I could feel my bare neck become slightly wet and I smile softly, "Me? Die? Don't be silly." I joke slightly with a light laugh.
He pulls back, but he wasn't smiling nor laughing. I let out a sigh and wonder what he has been through this past month. My gaze flickers over his shoulder to stare at the man behind him with curiosity. I turn my focus back to the twin in front of me and wipe whatever tears he may have shed which was little in amount. Smoothing his hair out, I stare at his eyepatch. Did he lose his eye?! He had a bandage patch over his cheek too. My face pales wishing I had swapped his place in the kidnapping.
I raise a hand up to his eyes and brush my fingers over the patch covering his eye, "Does it hurt?" I ask, feeling concerned.
"No, not really." he mutters with a small frown.
I nod in understanding, "While I feel we have much to catch up on. I do have one question."
I grab his shoulders next and bring him closer with a fierce glare. He appears scared of my gaze for a moment and waits in silence to what I was about to ask. I grab his face with my other hand, pursing his lips together. He sends me an annoyed look, but I don't care. "You wanna tell me why you're using your brother's name, Fenian?"
He pushes away from me in surprise and takes a couple of steps back, "H-How?" Fenian stutters and I continue to glare at him in suspicion.
He avoids my eyes like he always does when he lies to me. The man behind him takes a couple steps forward while glaring at me in annoyance. Why the hell was he looking at me like that? I feel an unwelcome shiver rupture all over my body. "Young master, shall I take care of her?" the man asks while tightening his gloves.
I continue to stare at the man in wonder and a bit of fright. He was filling the room with a tension that made me feel very uneasy. Fenian twirls around in a panic, "No! Don't ever touch her with bad intentions! That's an order!" Fenian barks at the man.
The butler smirks and bows slightly, "Understood, sir."
The tense atmosphere disappears and quickly as it appeared. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion to both their attitudes. I push past Fenian and march up to the man with caution. The closer I get, the more I realize how hot he was. Like holy hell, how could I not be attracted? He smirks while I stand there and ogle him unconsciously. I shake my head to defuse my inappropriate thoughts. "You. Who are you?" I ask right after with narrowed eyes.
He plasters a closed eye smile on his face and puts a hand onto his chest. "I am Sebastian Michaelis, I will be serving the Phantomhive family as the head butler from now on." Sebastion announces with a bow.
"Huh?! Butlers for the family a selectively chosen and are put through multiple tests!"
The strange butler stares at me in amusement and a smirk crawls over Fenian's face, "He saved my life, the reason I'm here. He is worthy of a Phantomhive butler." Fenian claims.
I blanch and stare down the butler in surprise. He saved him from the people who took him? Now I feel as if I owe Sebastion a debt. The fact that Fenian choose Sebastion makes me feel some curiosity towards his character.
A warm smile spreads across my lips, "Ah, is that so?" I mutter under my breath. All suspicion is tossed right out the window momentarily. I grab Sebastian's hand and he tilts his head to the side in confusion. I pull him towards my body and give him a tight hug. I hear Fenian gasp from behind me. Sebastian freezes in my grip, but I don't pay much attention to it. "Thank you, really. From the bottom of my heart."
I let go of him with more tears falling down my face, but my smile still sat in place. His expression shines with astonishment from my action. Wiping them quickly, I turn to Fenian wanting an explanation. "Now, I would like to know why it is you are using Ciel's name. You cannot fool me, I can tell the difference between your voices quite clearly."
He frowns deeply while regarding me with a cold look, "It's none of your business." Fenian states sternly.
I chuckle for a minute, finding his answer amusing. If he thinks he was going to act like that, he has another thing coming for him. "Oh? Really now? It's not my business that the children I helped raise and love for a quarter of my life? Well, excuse me for my concerns." I retort with crossed arms.
His face pales with guilt and he coughs awkwardly, "I just meant that a lot happened."
I sigh loudly, "I assume so. You're not exactly in the best condition physically and from what I can tell mentally as well. I will give you time to explain it to me when you feel you are ready. I owe you that much." He appears content with my answer and lets out a relieved sigh. "There's just one thing, where is your brother?" I ask, feeling tears gather in my eyes. I have an inkling as to why he may not be here, but I felt the need to ask to confirm.
It appears I was right in my assumption as his eyes darken instantly and he clenches his fists. I take a shuttering deep breath to cool my expression, but I end up tumbling a couple of steps back. I feel a little lightheaded suddenly. Ciel is truly gone then? I still don't understand why Fenian is taking on his brother's name. It was all too much.
The kitchen becomes a bit hazy and my breathing picks up rapidly. I raise my hand to cup my forehead as everything was jumbled. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and my panting coming out it warm puffs. Am I dying? It feels like I am, or is this a heart attack? It is so painful, that I lean against the counter to catch myself from falling. My legs felt like jelly, what the hell is going on?
"Rina?!" Fenian calls my name desperately while rushing up to me.
My vision was tunneling and all I could see was his panicked face.
I saw polished black shoes come into my sight, right next to Fenian. "Young master, I do believe she is having a panic attack." Sebastian states in the background.
Panic attack? It's like those words finally triggered my demise and I blacked out not long after.
