Mal was just about to respond to Niska's announcement that they had business to discuss, but the older man stopped him by raising his hand instead as he glared at the former Companion who was standing just to the left of the captain. Niska pointed to the top of Inara's head and spoke in a calm tone that contrasted the anger behind the bespectacled man's eyes. " Is that my wife's…how do you say? Wig?"

Inara gulped, and then replied with a slight bow. "Our most honored hosts, I can explain. I needed a decent wig for my bald..."

Niska chuckled, but the dangerous look in the old man's eyes remained. "There is nothing to explain. You have stolen from me. You chwen took personal effects from the one room in my domain that was forbidden to you. The how's and why's are irrelevant. You are all thieves!"

Niska looked towards Jayne and River, who were still wearing Niska and his wife's clothes, respectfully. "Ridiculous looking fools! I took you in my home! Let you eat my food, drink my wine, and denied you sha gwa nothing, except for the contents of one room, and you still stole from me! That will not stand."

Jayne moved to speak, but River covered his mouth while Mal shook his head and said. "Now wait a second…River and Jayne didn't take much. I'm sure we can make some kind of deal to…"

"There will be no deal!" Niska shouted before lowering his voice again. "Captain Reynolds, I was going to give you and your crew more money than you could ever dream of for services rendered. Enough for you to…what is expression? Live like kings. Instead…" Niska sighed dramatically. "I'm afraid you will all have to die now."

Niska's mercenaries all pointed their guns at Mattie and Serenity's crew; River and Jayne both instantly crouched into fighting stances, but without weapons, and in their ill-fitting garments, they were not a very imposing sight. The elder Tams, Mattie, and the rest of the crew, on the other hand, opted to bargain for the crew's lives instead. "Now, wait just a minute!"

"Mr. Niska, I'm sure we can still settle this like civilized people!"

"Please forgive my sister and her stupid kai tze, River's a little whimsical in the brainpan, and Jayne's a moron." "Surely we can come to some arrangement!..."

But Niska heard none of the Serenity crew's pleas, nor the elder Tam's entreaties on their behalf. Instead the old man smiled malevolently and held up his right index finger. Niska began to lower his finger in a forward motion, signaling a kill order.

"hwen dan! Don't you dare harm a hair on their heads, Addy!"

Every pair of eyes in the room, bar River's and Niska's, widened at that moment, as a very large woman in a black dress walked out of the ship Niska had emerged from moments ago. River smiled knowingly while Niska gulped. "Christiana, I told you to wait in the ship while I discussed business!"

The large woman walked slowly down the ramp of the ship to glare at Niska. By now, pretty much everyone in the hangar had guessed that the 300+ pound blue-eyed woman, who was currently wearing a blonde wig that looked convincing enough that it would have fooled Serenity's crew (sans River) if Inara weren't already wearing one of the woman's wigs, was Niska's wife. But if anyone felt it humorous that a hardened crime boss like Niska was married to such a large woman, they wisely kept such thoughts to themselves as Christiana resumed speaking, or rather, yelling, at her husband. "And let you gun down the cast of my favorite reality show, which has three of my favorite ships in it?! No way in guai! It's bad enough that you killed my nephew…"

Niska rolled his eyes, but lowered his hand as he did so, and the mercenaries around him all lowered their weapons as their employer said. "Must we bring that unpleasantness up again!? Your nephew had to die! Not only was he…what is word?! Incompetent, he was stealing money from me, from us! Downsizing him was necessary!"

Christiana glared right back at her husband, and the old married couple bickered for the next two minutes in a language nobody else in the room knew. However, based on the smile on River's face, and the several times she had to cover her mouth to cover up a chuckle, it was obvious that the reader was still able to follow the conversation just fine. Everyone else waited with baited breath, however, until Niska threw up his hands and said. "Go se! Fine, I'll let them live…for now."

Christiana just crossed her arms and huffed at that statement, but the smile on her round face made it obvious she knew she had won this particular argument with her husband. Adelei Niska sighed and then pointed at River, Jayne, then Inara, one at a time. "But those…garments are coming out of your cuts!"

Mal nodded. "That seems fair."

Adelei Niska started walking towards the center of the ship, and his wife waddled behind him as the thin old man called out. "Well, what are you waiting for Captain Reynolds? Your crew, Mr. and Mrs. Tam, and I have much to discuss, and my wife and I are famished! We should discuss things over dinner in the dining room, yes?"

The elder Tams, Mattie and the crew of Serenity followed Mr. and Mrs. Niska to the dining area, leaving the mercenaries behind, even as several servants finally left the ship the Niskas had exited several minutes ago to trail behind the others. Within minutes, Mr. and Mrs. Niska, Mattie, the elder Tams, and the crew were all seated at a table, being served salads by the servants, a small Caesar for most of them, and a large chicken salad for Christiana, who started to wolf her appetizer down with a fork as soon as the servant's hand left her salad bowl. After the servants left to prepare the next course, Mr. Niska turned to Malcolm and said. "Now, as I said. Business. The events at Miranda, and at the satellite of the man you once called Mr. Universe…"

"God rest him…" Christiana made a cross over her chest in between mouthfuls of food, causing her husband to roll his eyes and say. "Yes, yes. Poor, strange little man. Very sad. Those events wounded the Alliance, no? Turned the Border worlds against them all over again. But this was not enough. The people of the 'Verse, they need to see how the Alliance hurt individuals! Pain is easy to see up close, yes? Then, I say to myself, even people in the Core will turn against their purple bellied masters…"

Malcolm nodded. "Right. That was the reason for the feng le reality show you made me and my crew take part in. Did it work as well you wanted?"

Mr. Niska laughed. "Yes! Yes, Mr. Reynold's, mine and Mrs. Tam's plan was a…how do you say…smashing success! Parliament's popularity is at all time low, there is civil unrest across the 'Verse, even on core worlds, especially Osiris, and Alliance government has authorized a...how did those gorram politicians put it, honey?"

Christiana smiled as she finished off her salad before most of the other members of the table had even gotten half-way through theirs, and River was still making faces using the croutons and dressing in her appetizer, before the large lady said "Temporary removal of peacekeepers from Border and Rim space to deal with threats at home. You finally did it, Addy! You made those Purple bellies take their go se and run home with their tails between their legs!"

Malcolm chuckled at Mrs. Niska's turn of phrase, Mattie and Jayne both guffawed loudly, and Zoe and River both smiled slightly at Mrs. Niska's words before Adelei smiled widely. "Yes, dear. Our son is finally avenged." Everyone else at the table, bar River, who was now arranging her small salad in the shape of various constellations, openly stared as the most ruthless crime lord they had ever met held his large wife's hand for several seconds with a smile at Christiana, before Adelei removed his hand and cleared his throat. "Also…there was little matter of profit, yes? Without Alliance oversight, my criminal enterprise has been able to make...what is phrase? Aggressive expansions in the past few hours. Despite the financial losses caused by the recent unpleasantness at the Villa, as well as the unfortunate deaths of many of my men there, who's families will be well compensated…" The smile on Mrs. Niska's face, and Adelei's grimace, let everyone else at the table know that the recently deceased mercenaries' generous pension plans had been the large woman's idea, before the bespectacled man resumed speaking. "My empire has grown by 300% in the last seventy-two hours, and is continuing to do so as we speak!"

Mrs. Niska rolled her eyes as the second course of the meal, two large platters, filled with dinner rolls, arrived at the table, and the large woman was already buttering two rolls for herself before anyone else at the table had even touched one. " You just had to ruin the moment by bringing business up before we can even start celebrating avenging our son!"

The thin old man at the table sighed. "I told you, Christi, this is business meeting. Besides… business pays for all the food you love to eat so much!"

Christiana glared at her husband between bites of her dinner roll. "Hwen dan! You know I don't eat like this all the time! This is stress eating! And I do this a lot more than I like because you have such a dangerous job! Because of your plan, we came this close…" The large woman held out the thumb and index finger as closely together as she could without them touching as she said. "To getting caught by reavers! Do you know that they cannibalize their victims as long as possible before they kill them, Addy?! That's what the stories say…"

By this point, everybody else at the table had lost their appetite, and had pushed their food away to watch the old married couple at their table fight. Everyone except River. River was now trying her best to arrange two shredded up rolls and her still uneaten salad into letters to represent the entire periodic table of elements.

Mr. Niska shook his head. "These stories are just talk. Just gossip…"

The large woman shook her head and seemed on the verge of tears when she cried. "Well if the gossip was true, you would have been dead within seconds of them taking us! A skinny man like you would have been just a snack to those feng le animals, but a fat lao puo like me might have taken days for them to eat!"

Adelei looked uncomfortable now, and the old man cleared his throat and said. "You must excuse my wife; she has been through a…ordeal recently. Give me just a moment to sort this out. Then we can discuss business, yes?"

Adelei turned to his wife, and the old married couple talked in a foreign language again for the next several minutes as everyone waited patiently for them to finish their discussion. Everyone except Jayne Cobb, that is. Jayne turned to his new girlfriend and whispered in her ear as River continued to play with her food. "I don't like not knowing what people are saying right in front of me. I know you're a reader and all. Can you tell me what they're saying?"

River kept trying to form part of a dinner roll into the shape of a "u" as she smirked and whispered back. "Some of their conversation is…private. For Jack Spratt and wife's ears only…"

Jayne shook his head at the sight of the meanest hwen dan he had ever met, and his corpulent wife, making eyes at each other while talking, and he tried hard not to imagine what some of the private subjects that this strange couple were discussing were before River added. "The big time crime boss is also insuring his wife he would never allow her to come to harm, and that she does not look that fat…"

Jayne couldn't help but chuckle softly at that. "Compared to what, the gorram room?"

Without even looking up from her salad, River slugged Jayne in the arm. "Ow! What did you do a gorram thing like that for?!"

River sighed and gave up on her attempt to turn her appetizer into a full periodic table, although she looked to be on the edge of tears as she pushed her plate away. "Not right. Wanted to remain one with the elements, but cruelly pulled away from the bosom of the goddess of love! So much like the dead Gaia's warm embrace that they couldn't tell the difference! Now the beautiful Olympian's offspring are without a warm home and descending into the abode of Hades, if they are not consumed by Gaia's children first!"

River spoke in a forlorn tone while looking at her abandoned salad. "She is sorry that she cannot make you all one with the 'Verse again!"

Jayne shook his head. "I don't have a gorram clue what you're saying, girl. But I want to know why you hit me!"

River shook her head and whispered, and a few tears did manage to leak out of her eyes as she spoke. "Man-called-Jayne was being mean to the round one that saved Peace and her crew one and another occasion and girl lashed out at him, just like she did in Peace's kitchen, even after promising him she wouldn't hurt him! Even without old men in white coats screaming into her brain pain, girl is still only weapon! Where she goes, pain and death follow!"

River then got up from the table and ran away, causing Adelei to look up from his conversation with his wife and glare at Captain Reynold's. " I suggest you rein that xiao me mei in, before one of my men has to! And I believe…you will not like how they do this. Is my meaning clear to you, captain?"

Mal sighed and rose to get up from his chair. "Shiny. I'll fetch River, then you and I will conclude our business, and we'll be off your space station! Simon, I might need your help to get your sister! Fetch whatever medicines you need ."

Simon was already standing before the captain of Serenity had finished that sentence. "I think I already have the perfect concoction in mind. With the right mixture of antipsychotics and tranquilizers, I should be able to sedate River long enough to."

"No." Jayne stood up as well with a determined look on his face. "I won't let you put River to sleep again! Not unless it's a big gorram emergency, which this ain't! She hates it when you make her sleep! Those tranquilizers give River nightmares!"

Simon glared at Jayne. "I am not just River's brother, I'm also her doctor! And I will not have a pi gu like you make medical decisions for River just because you're her kai tze1"

"Wait." Simon's eyes widened, and the anger in them turned to suspicion. "How did you know that River has nightmares when I sedate her? She says she doesn't even remember her dreams when she's knocked out…"

Jayne sighed. "She don't remember, not consciously no how…."

Now the elder Tams and the rest of Serenity's crew were staring at the mercenary as well, as everyone started to pay attention to Simon and Jayne's conversation. Simon shook his head. "What do you mean, not consciously? If River doesn't remember her nightmares, then how could she tell you…"

Jayne growled. "Because I've been inside River's head!"

Kaylee shook her head. "Wait…how is that even possible!?"

Jayne shook his head as well while trying to explain an experience that he was still trying to wrap his head around. 'She knocked on my door, and I opened it, then she opened her door to me…."

Mal grimaced. "Jayne, I can't know that!"

Jayne growled again. "I'm not talking about sexin'. Well, okay, there was some of that going on at the time…" Now Simon and the elder Tams looked uncomfortable too, even as Jayne shook his head and said, "But that ain't the rutting point! I can't explain it! No wonder River's words are so feng le all the time, considering everything she sees that most folks don't. The gorram point is, I know River's mind some. Well enough to know that doping her up ain't the best thing for her right now. She needs to talk to someone. And since I'm the one that made her upset this time, I guess that ought to be me!"

Adelei rolled his eyes as Jayne left the room, "This is all very interesting, but we have business to discuss.."

But his wife interrupted him with a frown as she started eating the soup that was now being served as the third course of the meal." Addy, don't be such a pi gu! Let Rayne have their little lovers' quarrel and make up, before we get back to business! I wanted to talk with the cast of my favorite show for a little bit before we turned in for the night anyway!"

Adelei sighed. "Very well. I suppose we aren't in so much hurry that we can't make small talk, yes?"

Mal scratched the back of his head and spoke to Christiana. "Actually, ma'am, if it's all right with you, I would like to get straight to business and…"

Captain Reynolds stopped talking, however, when he noticed that Mr. and Mrs. Niska were both glaring at him now, and the latter party actually seemed indignant as she said. "Of all the ungrateful hwen dan! Captain Reynold's, I was the one who insisted that my husband pay your crew a king's ransom in order to share your story with the 'Verse! Because I took pity on all of you after hearing your crew's story! The least that you all could do is have a nice chat with me and my husband for five minutes!"

Adelei cleared his throat. "Captain Reynolds, to be quite…what is word? Frank, my wife is the only reason that any of you, other than the Tams, which I owe my life to, are still among the living. So it would be wise for you to indulge Christiana in this small matter and have a nice chat with my wife, if you would like this state of affairs to continue, yes?"

Inara gave Mal a look that clearly said "now you've done it", and the captain of Serenity sighed and said. "When you put it that way…I apologize for my rudeness ma'am, what would you like to talk about? And what, by the way, is Rayne?"

Inara rolled her eyes. "It's River and Jayne's ship name on the Cortex."

Mal blinked. "Uh…what?"

Christiana smiled widely, and Adelei shook his head and muttered. "Now you've done it", before his wife started talking in a loud, enthusiastic tone of voice. "Rayne is River and Jayne's ship name!"

Seeing that Kaylee, Malcolm, Mattie, Simon, and Zoe were all giving her blank looks, while everyone else at the table was shaking their head, Christiana decided to clarify what she meant. "You know…a ship name? Short for relationship? River and Jayne are Rayne, Mal and Inara are Malara, and Simon and Kaylee are…Well, the fans of the show are still working on a name for that one. And Zoe, dear. Can you tell us if you and Mattie are an item? Inquiring minds around the 'Verse want to know! I've got a running bet with my friend Betty as to whether you two have gotten together yet or not! "

Mattie just lowered his head as his cheeks turned red, and Zoe pointedly looked away from the younger Cobb brother as she shook her head and muttered. "Um…Mattie and I are just friends…"

When Mattie's shoulders slumped a bit, an action which Zoe caught out of the corner of her eye, the first mate of Serenity quickly added. "Not that there's anything wrong with Mattie or anything. He's definitely… interesting …"

Simon frowned. "Excuse me, not that this all isn't fascinating, but…can I go help my sister now? River has a genuine brain disorder, and she needs medication for…"

Mal forcefully took Simon by the shoulder and pushed the young doctor back into his seat before he could rise to his feet. "Settle down, doc. We're on a tin can in an ocean of black. Your sister's not going nowhere. Besides, much as it pains me to admit it, Jayne's right. She might need regular medicine, but you can't go doping up River every time she gets temperamental."

Kaylee, Zoe and Inara nodded in agreement, and when Simon turned to his father, Gabriel Tam shook his head and said. "I'm afraid I agree with your captain, Simon. Overmedicating a patient is a rookie mistake that you shouldn't be making, especially with your own sister. River's got to work through her own issues sometimes."

Simon shook his head. "Has the whole 'Verse gone crazy? River has a serious brain condition! She needs her medication!"

"And she's smart enough to know that." Inara replied with a gentle voice. "River's told me many times how grateful she is to have you as her doctor, Simon. But she also tells me that sometimes, the drugs give her headaches…and worse. River does need medicine, but…I don't think it would be wise for you to overdo it. "

Zoe nodded. "River needs to work through her demons on her own terms. Unless there's some rutting emergency, or things get out of hand, maybe you should let her."

Simon sighed and said. "Maybe you're right. But how will I know when River really does needs my help?"

Reagan Tam smiled at her son and put one hand on his shoulder. "You'll know. I'm just grateful that River has so many great friends…and Jayne…" The smile on the elder Tam's face seemed forced when she mentioned the mercenary, but softened again when she added. "To lean on when she has troubles." Reagan briefly looked at each member of Serenity's crew that was seated before she added…"And the best doctor in the 'Verse to care for her when she needs more than friendship to get her head straight."

"Well, the second best anyway!" Gabriel Tam laughed. Simon crossed his arms and shook his head, but there was a smile on his face and a spark in his eyes as everyone else at the table chuckled, and Reagan Tam smiled at her husband and said. "Second best. Of course, dear."

The people at the table heard the distant sound of a young woman's laughter a few seconds before Jayne and River walked back into the room while holding each other's hands. "Do not worry, though. Albatross will never be like that. She likes to run around too much, and food is only fuel to her. But she…I feel better now. You've reminded me that I am a woman, not just a weapon."

Jayne shrugged. "Glad I could help with that." When the mercenary saw that everyone at the table was staring at his and River's joined hands, though, he quickly pulled his hand away, then loudly cleared his throat. "What are you buhn dahn looking at!? Don't we have some gorram business to discuss! I want to know when we're getting paid!"

Every couple in the room smiled at each other for a moment then, and Inara squeezed Mal's hand under the table, before Adelei cleared his throat and said. "Yes. Finally. To business. As we were just discussing, the Alliance regime has been…weakened due to the transmissions from your…unique friend's satellite, an effect that has only increased due to the propaganda piece that my wife and Mrs. Tam…what is word? Inspired me to create. There are still riots raging on Osiris and Londinium. Inquiries on Sihnon into the Companion's Guild's illegal activities, and the Alliance's neglect to prosecute their leaders, are ongoing. Many are calling for the end of the Operative program. And there is a widespread demand for the immediate…resignation of any and all members of Parliament that had anything to do with the fate of Miranda or for the Academy, which has since been shut down, with the promise that all children will be released back to their families soon. Furthermore, according to my sources, around 60% of Alliance citizens believe those politicians should be tried and executed."

"And how unfortunate for the political elite that this all happened during an election year. It's almost as if it was planned that way." Inara said with a smirk while sipping the drink in front of her.

Mr. Niska chuckled. "Indeed. I'm a man who knows the value of …proper timing of investments, yes? And my investments have paid off! The Alliance is quite…busy right now, managing the Core. For the time being, Parliament has chosen to pull all of their forces, including mercenaries, out from the Border and Rim in order to help Alliance peacekeepers make things at home go smooth again." Niska shook his head and making a tssking noise. "It will be some time, I think, before things in the Core go smooth again, yes? In the meantime, who knows? Browncoats may gather their strength again, and new Parliament may set cleaning up house closer to home as a bigger priority than starting another war. And it just so happens that decreased Alliance activity outside Core makes it easier for men like me to do business."

Mal smirked. "When the cat's away, the rats come out to play, is that it? I thought you were going to all this trouble to avenge your son, not just make your purse heavier."

Mr. Niska shrugged and held his wife hand as she began to dig into the course that was now being served: Roast beef. But nobody else, apart from River, who was now greedily putting bits of her favorite food into her mouth at a breakneck pace, while still ignoring the other food on the table, was eating when Adelei replied with a shrug. "Is it, how do you say, too much to ask for both? With your crew's aid, Captain Reynolds, I have killed two birds with one stone. And now, my beloved Christiana and I get to have the pleasure of avenging our son…and making record profits from the Alliance's current…predicament in the Core worlds."

"Which we will be sharing with you!" Christiana, now all smiles again after devouring her roast beef before River was even halfway done with hers, loudly exclaimed before smiling at her husband. "Right, Addy?"

Mr. Niska sighed. "Of course, dear. Captain Reynolds, my wife has persuaded me to give ten percent of the profits from my business to split equally between your crew, for the next five years. This is my estimation of how much money that will be over that period of time."

Adelei wrote a number on a napkin, and showed it to every member of Serenity's crew, shocking everyone but River, who was still eating. Jayne whistled, Mal's eyes widened, and Simon exclaimed "That's a lot of zeroes!" Then Mr. Niska added. "Officially, the Alliance is no longer looking for any of you, so you should have a lot of options for enjoying your new fortune. However, I think it's best if you all avoid the Core for a while, yes?"

Malcolm nodded, and many of the members of Serenity's crew did the same, but the elder Tams looked contemplative as Adelei added. "My men have already taken the…what is word? Liberty of loading the cargo hold of Serenity with your first payment. I trust you can divide it amongst yourself fairly."

Malcolm nodded. "I'll be sure that everyone, including Mattie and Mr. and Mrs. Tam, get their proper share."

While almost everyone else at the table started to talk amongst themselves with excitement about what they were all going to do with their first shares of Niska's money, Jayne allowed himself a small smirk…until River, having finally finished her plate of food, whispered in a voice only Jayne was close enough to hear. "I know what you're thinking. Don't try it."

Jayne gulped. "I don't know what…."

"Don't make me say it out loud in front of Peace's inhabitants." River looked at Jayne like he was an idiot, and the mercenary felt a familiar knocking in his head again. With a sigh, Jayne opened the "door" in his mind's eye. Just a crack, though. Enough that him and River could communicate without words, but not read each other's every thought, like they could earlier that day. 'You're thinking you can skim off the top. Sneak into Peace's bosom and take from others before they noticed it was gone. Take the lion's share of the bounty.'

Jayne sighed, then "replied" to River. 'So what if I did? I wasn't gonna steal from you, if that's what you're so gorram worried about. Not Kaylee neither. Or the captain. Or Simon. Well, maybe Simon…'

River glared at Jayne. 'Man-called-Jayne has enough already. He does not need to steal anymore! He does not need to sow discord with his family!'

Jayne sighed and nodded. 'Yes, feng le.' But there was a smile on his face when he thought it.

River rewarded Jayne with a smile and whispered in the former mercenary's ear. "Man-called-Jayne will be rewarded for his good behavior tonight. She desires to have coitus with her mate again very soon."

Jayne grinned widely as Adelei Niska made a toast to "avenging Gregory and the completion of successful business venture!" Then the old man said "Before we set up the…details of payment plan, I must know. Indulge an old man's curiosity. What are you all going to do with the coin I am about to provide you?"

Everyone in Serenity's crew smiled and looked at each other as they thought about their answer to that question. For they all already had a very good idea what they were going to do with their cut of the profits. Some of them just weren't ready to tell the other's what they wanted yet.

AN: I hope you enjoyed the chapter, as short as it was. I would like to thank all my readers, including bjq and Hawki, who reviewed my last chapter, for reading. And a special thank you goes out to my beta reader, for encouraging me to get back to this story. I apologize for yet another long hiatus between chapters, but I am running out of inspiration for this story. So the next chapter will be the last. Thanks again for reading.

-supercode