"The point is….she is a woman."

Doc Adams, The Way It Is

Chapter Three

Matt quickly made his way to the Long Branch and ducked into the side alley. He didn't feel like seeing anyone right now. Well, anyone other than a certain redhead that is. She hadn't sent word about supper, so he thought she was probably still up in her rooms. As he climbed the backstairs he took out his keys to the Long Branch and to Kitty's suite. This time—for the first time in a long time—Matt Dillon took a moment to stare at them. He took stock of how lucky he was to possess them, how lucky he was to have all they represented….that is if he still did.

Matt carefully unlocked the back door to the Long Branch. He made his way through the heavy velvet curtain and gently knocked on the door to Kitty's rooms, not quite sure if he should let himself in after all that had transpired over the last week—hell, over the last couple 'a hours. Hearing no response, he put the key in the door. He quietly turned the knob and stood in the doorway, whispering her name.

As Matt entered what he thought of as his sanctuary, the setting sun illuminated the space with an orange, welcoming glow. The room smelled like Kitty, and he inhaled deeply, instantly feeling home, even in the face of the current discord in their relationship. Matt spotted the object of his affection asleep on her settee, one hand covering her forehead, some of her fiery curls having escaped from their pins and flowing out over the cushions.

Matt's eyes drifted over to their big brass bed. His mind couldn't help but wander back to the last night he had spent there—one week ago now….

Matt recalled Kitty's private jab at him that next morning in the Long Branch, when he'd still been hopelessly oblivious as to the rage he'd incited in her. As to the hurt he'd caused her.

We thought maybe somethin' was wrong, he'd foolishly proffered, like a lamb to the slaughter, moments after she'd first returned.

Just when everything was so right, Kitty had hurled back at him, giving him a long, pointed look, leaving no doubt in his mind that she was referring to all that had gone on in that bed between them the night before.

Matt winced. All he could do was pray that one week ago wouldn't mark the last time that everything was so right.

Matt made his way over to the settee and took in the sight of Kitty sleeping there. Her hair glinted like a prairie fire where it caught the sun, her lush, kohl-darkened lashes stood out against her alabaster skin, and her face held an angelic quality as she slept. The sight made Matt's breath catch in his throat. He marveled, not for the first time, that this exquisite creature had chosen him all those years ago, that she kept choosing him to this day.

Kitty looked so peaceful in sleep, but as Matt got closer to her he saw the smeared paint that belied the tears she'd shed, and as he bent down to look at her, his blood boiled when he noticed the faint bruising beginning to form around her neck where Bellum's foul hands had been. Matt gingerly reached out, his fingers reverently hovering over the injured skin, trembling with rage at what Bellum had done to his sweet girl.

Matt suddenly couldn't help but wonder if Bellum's hands had been anywhere else on Kitty's body….wondered if she had allowed it….wondered how far things had gone between them. He tried to shake that thought from his mind.

Whatever had happened between the two, he had only himself to blame.

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Kitty stirred and stretched out like a cat on her settee, realizing she must have dozed off. Suddenly, as she awoke more fully, she could feel Matt was there, sitting at her hip, leaning over her, watching her sleep.

"Mmmm….Ma-Matt?" she asked as her eyes fluttered open. "Sorry about supper, I-I guess I must've fallen asleep."

"It's alright, Kitty. Go on back to sleep now, honey," Matt said, his eyes displaying his regret at having disturbed her. "I just wanted to check on ya, to make sure you were alright after….well….you know. "

"Yeah, sure," Kitty retorted, "never better." She gave a sardonic laugh and sat up on her elbows but stopped short when she saw the hurt in Matt's earnest blue eyes.

"I'll come back later," he said as began to rise from the settee. Kitty couldn't help but hear the defeat in his voice.

"Matt?" she asked, grasping his arm and stopping him.

"Hmm?" he murmured, sitting back down and gazing at her like she was the most beautiful creature in all the world, not the disheveled mess she knew she currently must look.

"Don't go….I-I am tired but I want you to stay." I need you to. Kitty looked deep into his eyes imploringly, hoping her Cowboy would understand what she was tryin' to say to him.

He did. Matt nodded—"I'll stay, Kitty, I'll stay."

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Kitty returned to her suite after checking in with Sam and asking him to take care of things downstairs for the evening. She entered her rooms and found Matt still sitting on the settee, deep in thought, twirling his Stetson in his hands. He looked up at her and the face he wore was so remorseful, so apprehensive, she felt like lettin' him off the hook right then and there. But she needed to hear what he had to say. And she had a feeling he needed to say it.

"How 'bout a drink, Matt?" she asked in a smooth, soothing voice, walking over to where she kept the liquor, hoping that a whiskey would calm him down some.

"No, I don't-I don't think so, Kitty, not yet," Matt said, rising to his full height, tossing his hat on the settee and walking over to her.

Kitty turned and looked up at him, standing right in front of her. She stared up into those gorgeous, steel blue eyes and breathed in his heady scent. Matt Dillon was so much man—so tall, so handsome, so good. How could she have ever considered taking up with anyone else?

Matt looked down at her and gently grasped her upper arms, running his hands up and down the satin sleeves of her gown. He stared so intensely into her eyes, Kitty felt like he was looking into her soul, and his deep, baritone voice reverberated against her belly, stirring her body as he spoke.

"Kitty, I came here to ask ya to give us another chance. I'm sorry, Kitty. For everything. I'm sorry I said the things I did, and I'm sorry I had to break our plans again."

Matt ducked his head and audibly swallowed, a rarely displayed vulnerability settling over him. "I was sittin' over there in the jail just now thinkin' and….well, I realized that I-I need us, Kitty….And I was kinda hoping that, even though I can't always be here for ya, honey, and even though you get by so well on your own that….well, that maybe you need us too." Matt took a deep breath and gently squeezed her arms. "Kitty, I don't know what all happened with that Bellum fella but…." he shook his head for emphasis, "it doesn't matter, Kitty, we can move past it."

"Oh, Matt…." she cried, grabbing handfuls of his vest and pulling him into her, burying her face in his chest and beginning to sob . He held her for what felt like forever, running his hands soothingly up and down her back.

Matt's heart plummeted….

Had he said it all wrong?

Had she already decided she was through with him—with them—once and for all?

After waiting what seemed an eternity for her tears to be spent, Matt reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean handkerchief, gently wiping her eyes before handing it to her so she could blow her nose.

"What is it, Kitty? Did I say somethin' wrong again? Honey, please, just tell me what to say, tell me how to make this right…."

"You're a fool, Matt Dillon." she said as she swatted him with his handkerchief.

"I won't argue with that," he said, swallowing hard and searching her brimming eyes.

"Matt, I need us too….and that was what I needed you to say. I needed to know that you value us, Matt, that you value me. That was what I needed to hear. Your epiphany was about a week late in comin', however."

"I know, Kitty…." he replied, ducking his head and gazing back at her so contritely that Kitty couldn't help but take pity on him.

"You sure don't know much about women," she said, nodding for emphasis as she dabbed her eyes with his handkerchief, "And that's in spite 'a my best attempts at an education over the years."

"I just didn't know what else to do, honey—I had to go to Topeka, and you've always understood before. It just had me stumped, I guess, when you got so mad this time."

"Matt, it wasn't the dance—it wasn't even the fact that you let me down—it was the way you told me about it, so cavalier…. the way you acted like I was some spoiled child who wasn't gettin' her way. It was the way you suggested Doc 'n Chester like they were perfectly acceptable stand-ins for you….I needed you, Matt. I needed you to act like my man, to hold me. I needed you to understand that just because I can get by without you bein' here, that doesn't mean it's easy for me when you're gone."

Matt hung his head in shame. Kitty asked for so little. All this might have been avoided if he had just been more sensitive to her feelings, to her needs. Truth was, he'd been disappointed about that dance too. Oh, not because he cared anything for sociables, but because he was looking forward to takin' the most beautiful woman in Ford County, looking forward to bein' with Kitty in the one place where he could hold her in public and not have anyone, or most anyone, waggin' tongues at them. He had seen no point in dwelling on it, though, when there wasn't a damned thing he could do to change it. He had to go to Topeka…. but thinking on it now, he knew he'd taken his frustration with the badge out on Kitty.

"I guess sometimes I take it for granted, Kitty, how special you are….sometimes I forget how much you give up, to be with me."

"It's nothin' I'm not willing to give up, Matt….but I am still a woman ya know. Sometimes I need you to understand that."

"Oh, well, see that's a fact I need no education on, ma'am," Matt said, a gleam in his eye. He hooked his long arm around the small of her back and gently pulled her against him, giving her that irresistible crooked smile, biting his lip in that adorable way he had.

"Is that a fact?" she asked dubiously.

"That's a fact," he said, staring into her huge sapphire eyes, gently stroking the side of her face.

"Sometimes I wonder…." Kitty retorted, shaking her head at him, the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Tell me what happened while I was gone, Kitty," Matt said softly, his face now serious.

Kitty's face sobered too and she bit her bottom lip. "It's gonna take some tellin', Matt," she said, staring into a spot on his chest, fingering one of the buttons on his well-worn blue shirt.

"Even if it's hard, I hafta know, Kitty," he looked down at her and lifted her chin so their eyes met. Matt nodded, reassured her with those eyes that never lied, reassured her that they could work past it, whatever had happened.

"Alright, Matt, I'll tell you….I'll tell you everything."

The two made their way back over to the settee and settled in. Matt held Kitty in front of him, ensconcing her in his huge frame, tenderly running his fingers through her hair as she got up the courage to begin.

Matt patiently listened to her, gently held her as she talked….certain parts were hard to tell. She went on to tell him everything, though, every sordid detail.

"Oh, Matt….I was madder than a wet hen when I rode out to the Dillards….when I first came across Ad lyin' there by that stream, unconscious. Ask Doc, he'll tell ya the kinda mood I was in, ridin' back out there with him…."

Kitty told Matt about her conversations with Ad at the Dillard house. How, when asked, she had said she didn't belong to anyone and how Ad said the way she'd answered told him she was either very sure of that or not sure at all.

She told him about the sociable….the good time they'd had in the beginning... the way he'd punched that poor rancher for havin' the audacity to dance with her….the kiss in front of the Long Branch.

She told him about the attention Ad had paid her—how that had made her feel like a woman, somethin' she'd thought Matt had forgotten she was.

She told him about the aborted dinner at Delmonico's, how Ad had treated Chester, and how Ad had then kissed her again but this time she was already startin' to see him for what he really was.

She told Matt how Ad's moods had turned on a dime, how he had attacked Doc and Sam….and her.

Matt didn't interrupt her, just listened….but sometimes he did tighten his arms around her as she did the telling.

"You know the rest," she said sadly as she'd reached the end of what she had to tell him.

"Forgive me, Kitty?" Matt asked after a long moment.

She'd almost been afraid to look back at him after she'd finished, afraid to turn to look into his eyes, afraid of what she might see. But with that unexpected request her head whirled around to look at his face. The earnestness in his clear blue eyes squeezed her heart.

"Oh, Matt…. only if you'll forgive me," Kitty whispered.

"You got yourself a deal, young lady," Matt said in a husky voice as he gently led her upturned face toward his and leaned down to her. Their lips reunited, tentatively at first, then desperately. Kitty reached up behind her and grasped his neck, entwining her fingers through his dark curls and pulling his face down further into hers. Their tongues mated and she arched her body up into Matt's embrace. Kitty felt that deep, familiar ache start to take hold as Matt's huge, skillful hands spread out across her belly...lower...

"I think we're ready for that drink now—I'm buyin'," Matt breathed into her hair, giving her that little-boy smile he knew she found so irresistible.

"Uh-uh, Cowboy," Kitty said, shaking her head and capturing his eyes as she got up. She pulled the big man to his feet and seductively led a very aroused Matt Dillon by a fistful of blue shirt to their big brass bed, "tonight, I'm buyin'…."

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Later—much later—Kitty lay in Matt's arms in their bed, snuggled against his warm, hard chest. She'd thought he was asleep, had almost been asleep herself, but was just awake enough for his words, softly spoken in that deep, beloved voice, to permeate her last remnants of consciousness.

"I love you, Kitty."

Kitty smiled and snuggled in closer, luxuriating in the thrumming of his big heart beating steadily against her cheek. "I know you do, Matt. I love you, too." She sighed deeply in contentment and placed her lips against his chest.

Ad Bellum had been right about one thing—she hadn't been sure at all when she'd told him she didn't belong to anyone.

But she was sure now.

The truth was that Kitty Russell did belong to someone. She belonged to Matt Dillon, as much as she could belong to any man. And Kitty knew, though she might never have his name or his ring, that Matt Dillon, every single bit of him that badge allowed him to give, would always belong to her.

That was most definitely the way it was.

end