Hello peeps,
Here is the last chapter for the arc. It is quite long, take your time reading lol. Ah man, I saw some comments of y'all predicting the next arc, the Murder one. I am so stoked to write about it, you have no idea. If you think she is not going to get excited meeting the author to the future of the Sherlock Holmes series than I have to tell you wrong lmao. I do plan on doing the ending of this chapter a mini side story though.
I think Rina grows a bit in this chapter, honestly. The arc she just went through was hell. I am going to keep repairing this bridge with Ciel and Rina, it needs to be done. They both need to mature relationship-wise. Just give them some time, sorry if they frustrate you lol.
On another note, I might be updating less because another family member of mine has passed away yesterday. But we'll see since writing is like an escape world to me. 2020 is really hard for me, everything has been declining in my life ever since Christmas. Just not my year lol. I would appreciate it if y'all understand.
Thank you for reading!
Recap of the Last Chapter:
I begin to laugh, finding what he said funny. Joker looks at me like I'm crazy and I find Ciel smirking, "Killed, huh?" he breathes out.
"Yeah, even your servants won't be spared." Joker threatens.
I laugh a little harder, some tears creep up into the corner of my eyes. "My servants?" Ciel ponders.
Sebastian chuckles with me. "What's so darn funny?" Joker asks, not getting the joke.
I put my hands on my hips, "You idiot. You're dealing with the Phantomhive's. They are Phantomhive servants, that was your first mistake, buddy." I taunt.
"They are a private army me and Sebastian picked for employment." Ciel states. "Those are our servants!"
0o0o0o0o
I could tell Joker is losing more blood as time goes. His skin becomes paler and his eyes are duller. That does not stop him from speaking though. "A private...army?" Joker ponders out loud, slowly digesting the fact we had one.
"The Phantomhive house is a phantom that exists solely for the purpose of eradicating the queen's distresses. If you step into that den, you can never return into the light." Ciel explains.
I nod in agreement, "You're trapped there until death." I comment. Just like Vincent, for example, I think with a sigh.
Joker sneers at us, "Those guys are pros, don't think you can easily—"
"You're free to believe it or not, however, don't forget that these are capable people selected by me." Sebastian points out with a smirk and waves the bloody knife around in his hand.
Joker shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. I can guess he is praying for this comrades' lives or something similar. "I wonder..." Joker starts off, still conflicted. Ciel takes his foot off Kelvin and gives his full attention to Joker, who is on the brink of death I assume. "...what should we have done. Like the nursery rhyme, we were only 'capable of playing only one song'. But if...if we had been born in a different country...ourselves...our bodies...wouldn't have been like this." he ruminates slowly.
He begins to cry, but I find it hard to find complete sympathy honestly. Usually, I have a big heart. But what they did to these children is more terrible in my eyes. "Like this..." Joker continues, his voice cracks.
"Don't cry so shamelessly. Crying won't change a thing." Ciel advises and turns his back on Joker. "The world is not kind to anyone."
I think about how many times I have cried. I know me doing so did not fix anything. But crying is a part of being human. It's hard not to unless you're not attached to your feelings. Now that I think about it, as I stare at my brother, his feelings were shattered long ago. He may show them from time to time, the personal kind. But it's very rare, it's almost a privilege for me to see him care at all. I'm broken out of my thoughts when Joker calls out Ciel's stage name.
My brother glances behind him, "My name is Ciel Phantomhive. And that alone."
I can't help when the word 'liar' flashes across my thoughts. Your name isn't your brothers, it's Fenian. I still don't understand the concept fully of why he changed it. Silence fills the air for a few minutes as we all soak in our thoughts.
"Sorry to make you wait for the supplements—" someone's voice booms from above.
We all look up automatically and I gasp when I find the doctor strolling in on his wheelchair. He is on this too?! Wtf?! I was not expecting that. When he comes closer to the stairs, he glances down at us with surprise, "Huh? You're...Black, Smile, and Missy." the doctor observes. "Ah, I see." he says after a second.
He suddenly stands from his wheelchair and I feel my mouth drop in shock. Was he faking his disability the whole time?! What is wrong with these people?! The doctor smiles at us, "So what Joker said is true." he notes. He travels down the stairs, coming toward us. His shoes clack louder the closer he gets. "But even worse than cops that can't be bought, we have the rumored queen's lapdog." he jests.
"Doctor...your legs...you're walking..." Joker notices, seeming surprised as well.
"You didn't know?" I ask him, feeling exasperated. Joker shakes his head as in 'no'.
The doctor seems amused and grins, "My legs? Ah, there's actually nothing wrong with me. Kids like you wouldn't get all jumpy if I just sat down." he laughs. His eyes scan us until he finds Kelvin on the floor, presumably dead I note when I look at him. He hasn't been squealing for a long while. I forgot I even killed him. "Baron Kelvin!?" the doctor cries out and dashes toward him in a panic. He bends down and examines him, "Ah...this is bad. How awful, and I had finally met a patron who could understand my ideals." he sighs.
I stare down at the dead man on the floor as my disgust for him comes back. "Ideals?" I query. I don't want to know what those are. Anything assorted with Kelvin seems to be fucked up to some degree.
"Yes, for a very long time I was searching for the perfect artificial limb and wanted to continue its development. After all my research, I was able to make the finest materials possible!" the doctor boasts. "It was lighter and sturdier than wood, and more beautiful than mineral characteristics of ceramics. I had made something that no one had ever made before. However, gathering the materials was a difficult task."
I scratch my head, "So it's rare then?"
"Indeed, my lady. His handmade artificial limbs have an enchanting feel to them." Sebastian dubs. I send Sebastian an incredulous look, "Why must you make it sound so...suggestive?" I ask with a wince. He sends me a smirk, finding my observant amusing. "It reminded me of Chinese-made bone porcelain tableware." he continues afterward withholding his chin in thought.
"But...what do bones, and Baron Kelvin have in common?" I murmur, very confused. This didn't add up at all.
"Ah, Black, you understand beauty?!" the doctor grins happily with his arms spread out. "But I'm really sorry. Can you not put it in the same league as bone porcelain made from mixed cow bones?" he asks and scratches the back of his head.
Why does that question make me feel suspicious? It's as if the bone is of some other animal...
"That's right, you said it was made from special materials." Sebastian acknowledges.
"Yes, yes. I can't get them anywhere else but here." the doctor claims and begins to rifle through Kelvin's prone body on the floor.
My eyes widen when he says here. As if, the material is only found in the place we are standing. The doctor gets up and wanders over to the cages where the children are. I almost throw up at the thought of what I wish isn't true. "No...way..." Ciel mutters in disbelief.
The doctor simply smiles and gestures to the caged children, "This way we don't have to put any effort into throwing them away somewhere. Don't you think it's the best recycling ever?"
"No way..." Joker utters nearby, staring the children. "No way..." he repeats and throws up. That almost makes me do so when I watch him. I swallow it back down with a wince. I don't feel so good...my stomach is not okay. "Wha-What did you see us as..." Joker pants.
"Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick." I say out loud and put a hand over my mouth. The more I think about it, the more I want to hurl.
The doctor proceeds to unlock the cage, "See, I only get rejected like that. As long as they don't know the truth, everyone is always praising me about how wonderful they are." he explains and grabs a young girl out from the cage. "But the Baron was different. Searching for beauty was his highest motivation. He sponsored me with an abundance of materials and money, the best thinkable patron."
"You-You think this is normal!? What the actual fuck!?" I shout eventually, as I watch him drag the child across the floor like a potato sack.
"Don't you think it's normal to need the best materials in order to get the best products?" he argues back. "As far as society's idiots are concerned, there's no such thing as success without sacrifice."
"No, it's not normal when innocent people are getting hurt! Are you high?!" I contest, not agreeing at all.
He decides to not listen to me as he proceeds to place the child's body on the altar. "A cow's bones are fine, but humans aren't?"
I watch in horror, not sure what to do or think. All I can feel is utter repulsion the longer this show keeps going. The doctor grabs a dagger lying nearby and lifts it above the child's body. The young girl isn't even moving! No fear in her eyes, just an empty void. This is so fucking wrong! I take a shaky step forward, ready to fight this man for her life or die trying. I didn't anticipate him to slam the dagger so quickly through her though. "Who decided that!?" he manically grins.
Blood splatters everywhere once again tonight. Ciel's scream scares the hell out of me and I feel it will haunt me forever. That is a sound I find hate for. "Brother!" I shout and grasp his shoulder, feeling worried and fearful. He slams a hand to his mouth and trembles violently underneath my hand. He hurls into his hand and it spills everywhere. I grimace internally but more focused on the fact he's having a post-traumatic stress episode.
I move in front of him to block the view of the dead child. I grab the sides of his head and stare deep into his eye. He pants harshly, reminding me of his asthma. "Fen-Ciel, I need to you take deep breathes. You are not in the past right now. This is the present." I instruct him. I mimic deep breathes, trying to get him to copy me. He reaches his hand out to me, past my face as if he wasn't completely seeing me. His pants become slower though and he breathes just slightly deeper. He wasn't seeing me though.
Sebastian puts a hand on my shoulder, shaking his head. I move aside, letting him take control of the situation. I have never seen him like this. Sebastian doesn't even seem fazed. How many times has this happened?
"You are out of the cage, my lord," Sebastian states and grabs my brother's chin. He takes his other hand and begins to pull at the strings which hold his eyepatch in place. "Come. Call my name." he beckons with a deep voice and his demon eyes flourishing to life.
"Se...Se-Se...Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian..." Ciel sputters and Sebastian draws him closer with a smirk. The eyepatch falls to the floor, "...kill these guys!" Ciel screams loudly. Next thing I know, Ciel is tucked into the crook of Sebastian's arm and his other arm surges into the doctor's body. His blood practically explodes from impact where is heart is located.
"Eh?" the doctor utters as blood comes out of his mouth. He falls onto his side when Sebastian removes his arm from within him, his face remaining indifferent. The doctor does not move as he is dead instantly. I've never seen Sebastian kill so...powerfully. I'm not sure if that's even the right word. Sebastian walks to Kelvin and I find he is not completely dead yet. I stare in surprise until Sebastian lifts his foot off the ground and crushes the man's skull. More blood pours from his now very much lifeless body.
I glance at Joker and find he has already passed. I feel a little saddened for his parting. "It's done." Sebastian states in a monotone voice.
I can't help but standstill, I am currently speechless. "Burn it." I hear my brother's order.
I perk up at that, surprised to hear him say those two words. Sebastian's eyes widen slightly, also a bit shocked. "Burn it? This place?" Sebastian asks.
"That's right." Ciel replies.
"However, young master, if I recall correctly from her majesty, the queen's letter, wasn't this time's mission to find the criminals and rescue the children? The criminals are—"
"Shut up! Don't leave anything! Turn everything here to ash! Did you forget your job?!" Ciel screams at Sebastian and grabs his head with his hands. Sebastian appears taken aback, "It's an order!"
"Ciel...we can't just leave the children to die—" I start to debate, not okay with this choice.
He whips his head toward me with a very dark look, "You dare argue?! This is my job and my mission! You get no say!" he shouts at me, huffing as he is out of breath.
I shrink back, not expecting that out lash. I look away, my heart aching and my head spinning. I refuse to cry here and now, but god damnit my brother is fucking prick sometimes. Sebastian sighs loudly, and he glances at me with his demon eyes. "My lady," Sebastian addresses me, "it would be best if you run out of here before I set it on fire. I will meet you outside and take us back."
I nod reluctantly and look at the children sadly. I slowly back away, taking in the area as I go. I silently hope that the God in this world takes care of these children. Heaven knows they did them wrong along with my brother. There are some things you cannot bounce back from. This is going to be one for me. I feel horrible turning my back on them. I jog up the steps and run out of the mansion as Sebastian instructed. I feel so useless, if I could I would stop Sebastian, but I can't. The cool air kisses my skin once I open the front doors. I dash onto the grass and greedily suck in air. I had to run up all those fucking stairs to just get out.
My knees buckle from underneath me when I'm far away enough. I lay down with my back on the ground and the stars above me. I slowly become cold but opt to ignore it for the time being. It's hard to process everything that happened. I thought the fire at the Phantomhive family was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I was wrong. This whole night is a complete disaster. I think it'll right next to the topmost tragic thing that's happened to me so far. I feel the heating surface abruptly and I sit up. The mansion in front of me slowly burns.
I see something in the corner of my eye, and I swear I saw the back of a man riding a lawnmower. He was in the sky, flying on it next to the building. I rub my eyes, feeling as if I really am going crazy now. I hear a horse galloping in the distance and glance behind me. Since my eyes have a unique ability, I can see Freckles riding toward the burning mansion. When she gets close enough, she stops the horse in time before jumping into the fire with the animal.
The whole building is consumed in flames. It makes me feel warm, but I feel cold when I look at her face. "What is this..." Freckles manages to gasp out. She hops off her horse and tries to run into the house. The flames push her back though. "Brother! Brother Joker!" she screams and coughs from the smoky air.
I stand from my spot and walk closer to the burning mansion. "Freckles..." I trail off, feeling bad for her. I liked her very much. She turns to look at me with wide eyes, "Missy...what happened?!" she cries.
Before I could answer, I find a figure making its way through the fire inside. I peer at it and find it is Sebastian holding Ciel still. Sebastian smiles, I'm not sure what it means though. I offer one back as he steps through the flames. "You look like a superhero carrying the damsel in distress." I point out.
He crosses the threshold as his smile turns into a smirk, "Clever observation." he adds as he walks toward us.
Ciel glances at Freckles when she paces forward in confusion, "Black...Smile?" she mumbles. "Why are you guys here...what happened? Brother is..."
"Dead." Sebastian states with a slight smirk.
I frown and stare down at my feet. I am not proud of today nor am I regretful. Everything was too messy to begin with, this happened because of our job and their foolishness. I wish things could be different, not to mention my brother sometimes. Not everything he does is for best; this is an example of one of them. "Eh..." I hear Freckles murmur. "What are you saying, Black?!" Freckles shouts and I look back up at the sound. She steps closer to Sebastian and Ciel, getting in their faces. "Hey! Smile! Say something—"
Ciel slaps Freckles away with his hand when she tries to touch him. I recoil at the sound, not used to my brother being so...mean. He does have his moments, but today is something I've never seen before. It scares me a little. What kind of person has my brother been turning into for the past couple of years? He hides whatever it is. Tonight is simply a glimpse of what I miss on a daily account.
"Don't touch me so freely!" Ciel shouts, appearing angry. He curls back into Sebastian's arms with clenched teeth.
"We were sent after you on her majesty, the queen's orders. To find out the whereabouts of a series of missing children." Sebastian explains.
"So, you guys really were with the Yard?! To capture us—"
"No, that's not it." Sebastian cuts in with a curling grin. "We came to eradicate you. The queen's watchdog, Phantomhive."
I sigh, not enjoying this one bit. "No way, Smile is...are you saying it was all a lie?!" Freckles cries, grabbing her head in disbelief. "Everything...everything..."
"That's right," Ciel admits. "My name is Ciel Phantomhive. My job is just one...to clear the queen's worries. That's why I killed them. Kelvin, Joker. I killed them."
Freckles falls to her knees with a devastating wail. It brings back some unpleasant memories of when I found Vincent, dying on the floor. Tears prick my eyes at the thought of it. I watch Freckles cry into the night. I'm not sure if I feel pity or guilty, maybe neither as she fists the grass. "Gi...ve I won't...forgive...I won't forgive..." Freckles says in a mantra, her voice becoming louder with each word. "I won't forgive you! I won't forgive you, Smile!" she screams and lurches up, pulling something from her coat.
I can't see from here clearly, but I assume it is a weapon. Freckles did not make it much further when black tendrils sprout from Sebastian's body and stab her. I watch in fascination and horror. The black tendrils leave her body and gravity pulls her to the ground. This time she is dead as well. The burning mansion behind Sebastian gives him this demonic glow alright. I don't think I'm okay...I feel lightheaded.
My vision blurs a little as Sebastian steps around Freckles, not looking back nor caring. He confronts me, still holding Ciel in his arm. My brother refuses to look in my direction. I shake my head and grab a fistful of my hair. "My lady, it would be best to depart." Sebastian suggests.
I frown and sigh through my nose, "Yes, that is probably a good idea."
He nods and turns around; he kneels on one knee again. I climb onto his back and he stands up again. I tighten my grip around his neck, so I don't fall. I feel immediately exhausted and rest my head against his shoulder. I glance back once more at Freckle's body. If reincarnation exists, will she and the other troupes get that chance? He jumps up and my stomach flips again, making me close my eyes. However, every time we land, he makes it as soft as possible and the return home, peaceful.
0o0o0oo0o
We went our separate ways when we got back to the townhouse. I somehow made it back to my bedroom. I changed into one of my nightgowns and got into bed. I lay there for a few hours; I can't sleep though. My eyes would not close, no matter how much I tried to. The darkness of my bedroom is not comforting either. Flashes of everyone who died tonight keep plaguing my thoughts. I don't regret killing Kelvin though, he was a piece of shit.
I kick the covers off me and stare at the ceiling above my head. This sucks ass. I sit up and slip out of bed. I put my slippers on and grab my robe nearby. I open my door quietly and peek into the hallway. I find it dimly lit like usual. I leave my bedroom and cross my arms as I walk down the hallway. I eventually approach the stairs that lead down to the main foyer. Descending those slowly, I travel the back doors of the house. I open one of them and take a step outside into the frigid air.
A shiver runs up my spine and I rub my arms in response. As I stand on the mini-porch, I take a couple of steps toward the railing. I rest my lower arms on it and rub my hands together to warm them up. I can't get the image of those helpless children out of my head, I notice. That is what is keeping me up the most. The same goes for Freckles because I enjoyed her company the most out of all the circus members. She would have been a great friend for Ciel if not for her involvement nor if his past did not happen. I wish my brother could find a friend his age. Too bad he doesn't believe in friendship very much.
This whole evening had me feel very disappointed in many things. I'm deeply disappointed in my brother. I understand his thoughts were not clear, but you do not just demand something to happen despite the consequences. He did not think things through very well. I didn't appreciate his outburst either. He is just like a child, I can see that from time to time. I reach up and palm my forehead, I feel way too stressed out as well. I can't stop pondering how much longer until Ciel decides to shoot me in the head. It might or might not come. I need to watch myself carefully. I can see now when my brother is like that, all rationality is gone from him. Even if he does secretly trust me, deep down. How long can it last?
If he ordered Sebastian to kill me, he would have no choice. I frown at that thought, not okay with it one bit. I can't see Sebastian killing me, but I seem to not imagine many things these days. It's not okay to assume something can't happen because it will. Just like death, one day it will catch up to me. Most likely in this world, I have a greater chance of dying in general. I raise my hand up and my pointer finger touches the big dipper constellation. Even stars disappear, and no one will notice it. I pull my hand back and continue to lean on the railing in thought.
Something weighted lands on my shoulders abruptly and ends at my elbows. I blink in surprise, not expecting it. I find it is a blanket. A figure of black appears in the corner of my right eye. I already know who it is, but I do not understand why he is here. Seeing him brings back suppressed depression I tried to not think about during this whole fiasco. The thought of not being with him the way I want hurts still. But I have come upon some realizations as well.
"Thanks," I murmur, as fog erupts from my mouth.
"Do not think much of it." Sebastian replies.
The silence between us is palpable, nothing awkward nor tense. I enjoy the sound of the winter winds which are very delicate. Not enough to completely freeze me but enough to make my nose numb. I rub my hands together; my fingers begin to tingle, and I move away from the railing. I glance at him eventually and find him staring up at the night sky as well. "Do you like day or night more?" I find myself asking randomly.
His head turns to look at me, "The night." he answers honestly.
"Is it because you are a dark being?" I ask, making a small joke.
He smirks a little, "That is one reason, yes."
I chuckle lightly, "The stars are my favorite part of the night." I add.
"Any specific reason?"
I think for a moment, debating how to answer his question. I liked the stars as a little girl because I thought it would be cool to meet the aliens that travel them. Nothing poetic, just something nerdy. I smile when I think of that, "I suppose, I believe there is more than the planet Earth out there."
"How do you mean?" he asks, seeming a bit puzzled.
I smirk and point to the half-moon in the sky. "What if there is another species on the moon?" I offer.
He gives me an 'are-you-serious look', "My lady, the idea is absurd."
"It's not if you believe it is possible. I never thought demons existed nor God, but here I am talking to one." I point out with a smile.
He fails to find words until he smiles back, "I suppose you are not wrong then."
"Most of the things I say are right."
A minute of silence enters again, I don't have anything to say to him. After what I saw today, I don't have time to think about him as much as I want to. My brain is too scrambled with thoughts and feelings. The guilt is eating at my heart. I really wanted to help those children. I know they did appear lifeless, but they would have had a chance to live. Hell, I'd become a therapist myself and try to figure out ways to get them back to normal as possible. That sounds like a dream though...
"You surprised me today." he claims.
A bit dumbfounded, I turn towards him, "How do you mean?"
His eyes flash their pretty fuchsia color, "I underestimated you. I did not calculate that you would kill the Baron."
I feel anger flare in me at the thought of him, "I couldn't stop myself. I didn't care if he died, honestly, I wanted to make him suffer first. But I pulled my pistol out without even thinking." I admit with a huff. "That guy was a pedophile and wanted to partake in my family's suffering, he could die for all I cared by that point. Not to mention, he was a sicko. What kind of human being does that to children? Not a normal one! I wouldn't even call him human, he's a freakin' monster who manipulated people's lives to obtain his own selfish goals. I feel humiliated to be the same species as him!" I rant and toss my arms around.
"I agree. He was a disturbing human; however, it makes me more aware of how most human beings are," he says with a small smirk. He lifts his hand up and his gloved fingers trail down my face. I notice how his eyes begin to glow again as he watches them slide down my cheek. "Greed. Wrath. You are these as well, my lady."
My heart stills at the notion of being consumed with these types of things. I cannot deny I have felt them before. I am greedy when it comes to my brother. I push to grab his attention because I am greedy for his love. Wrath took over my thoughts earlier at Kelvin's, I've also experienced it in the past when Vincent died unjustly. Sebastian's finger leaves a burning sensation as it ghosts over my skin. I do not understand why I feel such comfort from a small thing as this.
"I may have those things, just as other humans. But that does not mean I cling onto them forever. I do not have room for them." I admit.
His fingers stop beside my lip as a curling smirk spreads across his lips. "Oh? What an interesting concept."
My gaze hardens as I stare into his luminous eyes, "I will not be kept down. Hurt my feelings all you want; I will not keep myself chained to someone else's opinion of myself or my own self-observation of my faults. Pick it up, hold it, then drop it. That is how I deal with my life and its fate no matter how long I must persist. Some things I will cling onto longer compared to others. That's just how it is. In the end, time heals all wounds and scratches."
His fingers move to cup my cheek, his expression morphing into one of excitement. It's my first time seeing such a thing when it comes to him. He draws me closer; I can see his teeth change into something sharper. "Yes, now that is not what I see in a human very often. How peculiar. You change so much; I can't not fathom how much you put behind yourself despite everything you go through. I find it...alluring." he conveys in a deep, raspy, and compelling voice. It reminds me of my old dreams of him.
I blush at his compliment, that being the closest thing to 'you're pretty amazing and attractive'. While what he is saying sounds more like a warning to others; I find it more persuasive than anything. He wants me to go through Hell. He wants to see the product of my soul and life. My heart rushes in my ears, his touch making my face heat up more.
"Y-You make it sound bad, but...I don't mind either." I mutter and purse my lips afterward. All I hear is nice words from a demon. A demon I have fallen in love with, unfortunately. One that did the dirty with Beast. But even now...I find my care in the action diminishing. I didn't even ask the reason why he did it with Beast. I assumed immediately and my emotions took the wheel. I created dumb ideas in my mind. I forgot one important thing. That Sebastian doesn't like humans. They are his meal. He wouldn't care about killing Beast to get what he wanted. He would do the same with an act that most likely sickened him to some degree.
"I expected you to be bothered by my words."
I smile a little, coming back from my thoughts, "Not exactly." I chuckle nervously.
"I believe I have stated before that a demon's interest is dangerous." he recounts.
I peer up at him through my eyelashes, finding his demon attributes gone for the time being. "I know, I don't really care though." He raises an eyebrow at me, and I reach up to where his hand is on my cheek. I grasp it in my own and tilt my head into his palm, "It simply reassures me, that you do acknowledge me to some degree and not with excessive disgust." I smile sadly.
He looks at me with wide eyes, probably not expecting my answer. "I feel I am missing something here."
I shake my head, even though I am still hurt in some ways. I can no longer find any anger about him and Beast. I have no right to be. My emotions were everywhere, thinking about too many things at once. I was in denial briefly and succumbed by my depression. I hated him, but I hated myself even more. All of that seems to disappear as the cool wind makes his hair dance. I cannot blame myself for something I had no control of nor can I do so to him. It is not like he will ever accept me.
"I am not angry at you anymore." I breathe out slowly. "Please dismiss the fact I was, I admit I was being irrational." I remove his hand from my face and hold it firmly. I bow to him slightly, "I apologize for being immature."
His hand slips out of mine in the process. Instead, he places it on my shoulder and pushes it back. I straighten myself out in confusion. He appears sincere dare I say. "As long as you acknowledge it. However, what is the reason behind your anger? I never figured it out."
Whatever guilt was in me just now, shatters at the implication of telling him the truth. I laugh nervously and scratch the back of my neck, "Must you know? I rather not say, it's uh...childish." I lie slightly.
He raises an inquisitive eyebrow at me again, "Why do I feel that is not the full truth?"
I smile sheepishly, "Er, I have my own reasons. It is...embarrassing for one."
He sighs, seeming disappointed. "I do not care much if you feel so complex about it. I shall let it go if you have learned your lesson."
I nod, a blush of embarrassment blooming on my cheeks, "I have, I swear."
He smirks and offers his arm out to me, "I shall escort you inside, my lady."
I smile, glad he dropped the subject and grab it happily. "Why, thank you, good sir." I mock and release some giggles afterward.
He rolls his eyes, a slight smirk still sitting on his lips as he leads me inside. I hug his arm tighter and lean my head against his shoulder. Things might not be perfect, but I do not see them becoming worse anytime soon with him. Even if it's not loving that I can receive from him, I am glad to be this close already. I value whatever it is I share with him. I'm not sure if my love will disappear no matter how many horrible things he does in the future. As long as I find some amount of joy from time to time, I think I can survive a little longer despite any pain that surfaces. I best work on getting rid of these feelings though. I know they will ruin me at some point. I find myself not wanting to rush the idea either.
0o0o0o0o
I accidently slept in when I was supposed to go with Sebastian and Ciel to the Workhouse. As in, Sebastian never woke me up. I don't even remember falling asleep. My mind was too occupied with thoughts about the demon. What he did last night had me feeling confused and happy. It is a weird combination. He escorted to my bedroom, then wished me a good night's rest. He waited for me to go into my room before he left. I spent the remainder of the night smiling underneath my blankets. I felt like a schoolgirl who got confronted by her crush. I felt young again in other words.
I woke up with drool on my pillow. I've never felt better rested might I mention. I am a bit pissed as I eat something called Idli though. Agni made them for me, it's basically a rice cake which is common in India. Anyway, the fact Ciel ditched me for this excursion makes me wonder if I am a nuisance once again. I understand that our relationship tends to be rocky. We bash heads a lot. But sometimes, we find an agreement with each other. I noticed that the agreement tends to fizzle out though. Maybe it's a sibling thing? Or maybe it's his attitude problem? He is going through puberty...
A newfound resolution erupts from within me. I'm going to try to be more understanding with Ciel. Not too much though, I can't agree to everything he does. Like leaving helpless children behind...I'll never let that go. I munch on the rice cake quietly in thought until Soma bursts into the dining room. He spots me and dashes on over to where I am currently seated. He practically throws his arms at me and I shrink back automatically. "Rina!" Soma cries crocodile tears fall from his eyes with a large pout on his lips.
I am taken aback and swallow my food before I choke, "What? What is it?" I ask as his arms crush my ribcage.
He pulls back slightly, "Don't leave!"
"Hah?" I voice. "Why not?"
His lip wobbles pathetically, "Ciel ditched me here! Don't leave too."
I set down my food and pat his head, "There there," I chuckle. "We'll be back...at some point."
He let's go of me and wipes at his eyes, "You promise?"
I nod and smile, "Of course. Plus, you'll have Agni to keep you company as well."
He pouts slightly, "I'm angry at Ciel! He never even said goodbye."
"Then come by later, I'm sure it'll make him happy." I tell him with a sly grin. This is payback for leaving me behind.
He nods and strolls out of the dining room with an exciting look. I frown at his back, feeling a little bad. I really don't mind Soma and Agni. They brighten the atmosphere with their positivity. It sucks living with two males who don't do anything fun besides chess. Not that the game is boring...it's just that's all my brother does! It's either that or card games. Does he even know that playing outside is a thing? He used to want to do it all the damn time. Now look at him, he sulks in his study all day doing paperwork.
I scowl at the thought and stand from my chair. He needs to get more melatonin. That way, he won't be such a grump all the time. The minute warm weather comes back, I'm going to drag his little arse outside and play some kickball or something. I make my way to my bedroom to pack up. I have left a note from Sebastian saying to meet them back at the mansion later. I take my time packing, finding no rush. I didn't bring a whole lot with me either. Once I pack up my bag, I lift it into my arms and exit my bedroom.
I find Agni at the bottom of the staircase when I arrive. "Your coach is awaiting, lady Rina." Agni informs with a bow and smile.
I nod my head back politely as I descend the staircase. "I appreciate it, Agni." I tell him when I reach the last step.
He opens for the front doors for me, "Have a safe trip back."
"Thanks, take care of this place while we're gone."
He bows again and I step outside. I stroll up to the carriage and hand the coach my bag. He takes it to put it in the back of the carriage. I open the door and glance behind me. I find Agni and Soma waving goodbye to me from the doorway. I smile and wave back, stepping up into the carriage. I close the door behind me and sit down near the window. I give them another smile and wave when the coach takes off. When I can't see them anymore, I lean back in my seat. Time to get comfortable and take a nap. It's going to be a while till I arrive back home.
0o0o0o0o
I woke up ten minutes before we reached the mansion. When we did arrive, I find a quarter of it is demolished. I gawk at the sight of it, not expecting it to be in shreds. The coach stops and jumps down from his seat. He opens my door and helps me down. I can't take my eyes off the spot. No! My bedroom is over there! The coach whistles next to me and hands over my bag, "What happened?" he asks.
"Don't ask me, I have no clue!"
He casts a worried glance at the mansion and decides to hop back onto the seat. "Good luck with that." he wishes his best and takes off, the horses galloping away from here. Is Sebastian and Ciel home yet? I don't even know where the Workhouse they went to is at. I rush my way to the stairs. I really hope Sebastian's back, I don't feel like being here when he becomes angry. I come to the front double doors and open them.
It is quiet inside and I wander in. Since there is no sound coming from the demolished area, I can observe that my brother nor Sebastian are back home yet. Great. I drop my bag, feeling a bit pissed off that my mansion is a wreck. Not to mention, almost all my items from my bedroom may be gone. Was it the servants or the circus troupes' fault? It really makes me think about who caused more destruction. I spot Bard walking down the hallway from the destroyed part, scratching his head appearing bored.
I narrow my eyes at him and put my hands on my hips, "Bard!" I shout at him. He jumps in his place, catching sight of me with wide eyes. He starts to take a couple of steps back. He whips around and starts to run off. I scowl at his back and run after him. "Bard! Get back here!" I scream at him.
"It wasn't me!" he cries, picking up speed.
I do the same, almost catching up to him. I am a lot more fit than he is by far. "If it wasn't you, then why are you running away from me?!"
Eventually, I make it to his back and grab the collar of his shirt. He flings back and makes a choking sound. He grabs at his neck and I let go. "What the hell?!" he coughs. "You bitch!"
"Bard, what in the blazes happened while we were gone?!" I blare.
He stands straight, appearing a bit nervous. "Well, uh, folks invaded the mansion. Some circus freaks and we took care of them..." he trails off.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, "And is everyone okay?" I ask.
"Huh? Oh yeah! Everyone is fine." he smiles brightly.
I sigh and feel a little relieved, "That doesn't explain why the mansion is in ruins."
He scratches the back of his head, "Er, well, we were trying to stop them..."
"So, you thought it was a good idea to blow up a part of the place?!" I seethe.
He shrinks back, appearing guilty and sighs, "I'll go clean up..."
"Damn right, you will!" I shout at him as he turns around. He slouches toward the demolished site.
I glare lightly at his back, not believing that the mansion is in ruins practically. Seriously, they are professionally trained idiots. What is Sebastian teaching them? I start to make my way up the stairs and take a right towards my bedroom. The further I walk down the hallway, the more I notice the cracks in the walls. Eventually, I come to the part where my bedroom is and Ciel's. I still had a door on mine. I cross my fingers, hoping it is still intact inside. I crack it open and peek inside. There are holes in my ceiling and all the rubble is on the floor.
My bed is broken in half from being crushed. I rush over to my nightstand and find the picture of the Phantomhive family intact; besides the busted frame that keeps it inside. I press the picture against my heart, happy that it didn't get damaged. I set it down and find my nightstand a bit banged up. I look inside the drawers and find everything inside still fine. Next, I look over at my wardrobe and find it is in good condition. I sigh in relief, knowing my clothes are safe and undamaged. Everything in there is expensive as hell.
Besides the holes in the ceiling and the cracks spiderwebbing on my walls; most of my personal items seem to be alright. I'm happy nothing is too damaged. I collect all the bags in my bedroom I can find. I begin to fill them with items from my room. I need to go to a guest bedroom for now. I am not sleeping here anytime soon. As I pack everything up, I hear voices from the hallway. I walk over to my door and look to my left. I spot Sebastian and Ciel making their way down here.
"About time you guys arrived." I tell them.
Ciel glances at me with an irritated look, "What are those buffoons doing, really?"
I sweatdrop, "I don't even know anymore. How was the Workhouse?"
"It has perished. Everything they fought for...didn't even exist." he replies with a smirk.
I did not expect that outcome, "Wow. That's kinda sad." I murmur. Those guys could have prevented their own death. I suddenly remember how he ditched me this morning and I cross my arms, "Wanna tell me why you didn't wake me?" I ask with a sharp tone.
He glances away appearing uninterested, "I thought you needed the sleep."
My eye twitches, not sure if he is lying or not. I turn to Sebastian with a glare, "You're the lie detector. Is he telling the truth?!" I ask him.
Sebastian smirks slightly and opens his mouth to respond. But my brother whips around with a nervous look, "I order you not to tell her!" he shouts.
I point at Ciel, feeling achieved. "Aha! So, you are lying!"
"No! Stop assuming I am." Ciel rebuts. "I didn't think you would have slept well after everything last night..." he mutters, not daring to look into my eyes.
"That sounds so half-assed. You sure you also weren't avoiding me in the process? Because I wouldn't pass you to kill two birds with one stone."
He scowls at me, "Fine! I was, happy now?" he huffs.
"Why? You didn't want to hear me berate you? Or point out what I think you did was wrong? You're right, I would've. I wanted to cry and yell at you. But guess what? I didn't!" I shout at him. He glares at me as I continue to rant. "I figured you reflected on it enough on your own. So, I was going to leave you alone. Happy now?"
I stomp back into my bedroom and slam the door behind me. I pace around as irritation and held back anger takes over my thoughts. This household drives me utterly mad. I huff and puff as I resume packing up my stuff. This child, Racheal, why did you raise him to be such a brat!? Life lessons, when I have kids, make them do shit and learn their lessons. That will be my number one rule as a parent! After thirty minutes, most of my crap being half bagged and organized, I hear a high-pitched voice enter the hallway.
I recognize it as Elizabeth's immediately and let out a grown. I don't know if I can handle her hyper behavior right now. Maybe I should stay in my bedroom...
The door slams open abruptly and find Elizabeth standing in the doorway. She opened to door with so much force, it creates more cracks in the wall. I feel my face pale and she runs toward me with the biggest smile. I am still kneeling on the floor and she practically dive bombs onto my body. I fall to the ground and struggle in her grasp. Why is she so strong!?
"Rina!" Elizabeth giggles into my ear loudly, making it ring a little.
I pat her back harshly, my breath escaping me. "L-Lizzi," I stutter, "Long time...no see."
She squeals and pulls back from me. I gasp loudly and smack my chest repeatedly. She cups her hands together and places them next to her cheek, "I am so happy to see you, Rina!"
"Me too." I say through my teeth clenched smile, "Why are you here?" I ask afterward.
She tilts her head in confusion, "Eh? Didn't Ciel tell you?"
I lift an eyebrow, feeling confused with her question. "Tell me what?"
"I was at the mansion this whole time. I was waiting for you to come back."
I feel my eyes bulge and I grab her arms in alarm. I make her twist and turn as I examine her body. "Are you okay? Please tell me you are."
She giggles a little and places a hand on my own, "Oh don't you worry! I am perfectly fine."
I breathe a sigh of relief and my arms drop, "Good, you had me worried for a minute."
"You forget I trained with you, Rina." she abruptly whispers to me. "I can take care of myself if need be!"
I stare at her, a bit puzzled for a moment until I give her a soft smile. "I know. I just don't want you to get hurt, if possible."
She smiles at me as her green eyes begin to shine. She pulls me into another hug I did not expect. It is much gentler though. "You are so nice, Rina! Thank you!"
"E-Eh?" I voice in shock and hug her back. "No need to be so dramatic, girly." I chuckle.
She pulls away from me with a wobbly smile and rubs her eyes. We sit in companionable silence until she calms down enough. "Oh!" she exclaims abruptly and begins to fish out something from her coat pocket. "I almost forgot. Mother wanted me to give you this!" she informs with a bright grin. What did she want to give me? I feel a bit suspicious when Elizabeth pulls out an envelope. She begins to shake with excitement, I could tell. She holds it out to me, and I grab it hesitantly. "I have been waiting for this day!" she cries happily.
I stare at the letter as if it is poison. I am a bit scared to know what is on the paper inside. I sigh through my nose and break the wax seal off. I take out the letter and cast one more unsure look at Elizabeth. She looks like a rocket about to blast off. As I begin to read the contents, I feel my eyes widen when they catch onto a certain grouping of words, "What!?" I shriek and stand up. Her mother is insane!
"Isn't this amazing? I am so happy for you, Rina!" Elizabeth cheers.
I refuse to read the rest, "Is your mother serious!? There's no way in Hell, in Hell," I emphasize. "am I going to allow this to happen."
"What? Why not?" Elizabeth cries.
"Your mother already knows how I feel—"
"Could you screech any louder?" Ciel interrupts suddenly and strolls into my bedroom with a glare.
I wave the letter around in my hand, not happy at all. "I can talk as loud as I want. I have every right to with what I just read."
He raises an eyebrow at me, "It can't be that bad, stop being dramatic."
"Hah? I'm not! Our aunt is insane!"
He seems interested now, "What did she say?"
"She wants to me have a coming-out ball!"
He stands there, appearing shocked. "A...what?"
I walk up to him and shove the letter in his hands, "I demand you fix it! I refuse to have one. I don't need men eyeing me all night long and exhaustive dancing."
"Rina!" Elizabeth shouts behind me. "You must have one, it is proper for a lady to do so when they are recommended. You are the oldest lady I know who does not have a husband yet."
I feel my eyebrow twitch, "I said I don't want to have a ball for my hand in marriage! I already consider myself an adult, who cares if they think I am not one."
"Mother said she will not take no for an answer. If you did not read the rest of the letter, the date is already set, and she has sent out invitations for bachelors."
I stand still upon hearing that. I feel my hands clench into shaking fists. I don't want to get married nor did I ever plan on it. I refuse too! My fingernails begin to stab my palms and I march out of the room. This is seriously all too much at once! I barely notice Sebastian standing outside my door and I stomp down the hallway to relieve my stress. I can't stop it, my aunt already started it. Man, what is my life coming to these days, huh?
