Author note:

A little angst and fluff before Clay's deployment. Please leave a review if you enjoyed.

CH 92-Before You Go

Emma was at yet another Bravo send-off. She had been attending these for as long as she could remember. The team and their families always got together the night before a deployment. This time the Perry's were hosting. Everyone was there, from Lt. Commander Blackburn, to Cerberus. All their loved ones were in attendance as well. Time to make one more memory before the long separation ahead.

They had decided on a lunchtime cook out so that Ray would have plenty of time with Naima and the kids after they left. The earlier time was just fine with Emma too. She would get time with everyone, especially her dad, and still be able to spend the evening with Clay.

As usual, Naima's food was delicious, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Jason came over to the picnic table and sat by Emma.

"Hey Daddy."

"Hi honey, having a good time?"

"Yep. How about you? Are you ready to head out tomorrow?"

Jason stretched and turned sideways to straddle the bench.

"Yea. I'm all packed up and everything is cleaned up around the condo. I wonder though, would you mind stopping over a couple times? Just to air things out a little, make sure nothing's sprung a leak or anything."

"Of course. I might bring Koda to run around in the yard too if that's okay."

"Sure thing, Em."

"Oh, can you check in with your Grandma and brother too?"

"I already do that, but I'll be sure to talk to them at least once a week."

Emma shifted and laid a hand over Jason's.

"But you didn't answer my real question…are you ready? This is your first Op back since your injuries and it's a two-month deployment."

He nodded his head before he answered her.

"Yea, I am. I need to be back out there with the boys, ya know? Sitting here on my ass while they're there kicking down doors, it's worse than any injury."

"I know. I know you need to be there, making sure everyone comes home safe. Just be sure you come home safe too. You got that?" She finished forcefully.

He laughed and mock cowered at her tone.

"Yes ma'am."

They both laughed and she leaned into his outstretched arms for a long, firm hug.

It was getting later, and the party was winding down. Naima began to clear the dishes, taking them inside to clean up. She asked Emma to keep an eye on the kids while she made the trip into the house. Clay was right behind her, bringing in some more plates.

"Thanks hon. I appreciate the help."

"Sure thing, Naima."

She expected him to go back outside again but he grabbed a towel and started to dry some of the platters she was handwashing.

"So…you want to tell me what's up, or are we just pretending that you like doing dishes, hmmm?"

He laughed at himself. Knowing that it was impossible to get anything past Bravo two's wife.

"I was just wondering if you could, you know, keep an eye on Em while we're gone."

"Any particular reason? I mean, I always try to check in on her."

"I'm just worried about her."

"Because…."

"Well, we were talking last night, and she pointed out to me that most of the people she would usually rely on when Bravo's gone, aren't here anymore. Her friends are all off at school, and even Mike isn't home anymore. I don't want her to try and tough it out if she really needs someone to talk to. You know she hates to ask anyone for help."

Naima huffed out a laugh at his last comment.

"Yea, she's a true Hayes when it comes to that, for sure."

"I want to make sure she has a support system here at home."

She had been right when she and Emma talked about Clay when they first started dating. He was one of the good ones. She waited until he put down the dish he was drying and stepped over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He blushed a little and questioned her.

"What was that for?"

"You are a good man Clay, and Emma is very lucky to have you."

"Thanks, but I'm definitely the lucky one in this relationship."

Naima laid her hand on his arm and spoke again.

"I promise to look out for her. Emma's like my own, you know. I'll make sure she's doing okay."

"Thanks, Naima," he said before returning the peck on the cheek.

He finished helping with the dishes and they both made their way back outside. RJ was getting fussy and Sonny was making noises about moving the party over to The Bulkhead. Clay found Emma pushing Jameelah on the swings. He walked up behind her and wrapped an arm around her middle and spoke quietly into her ear.

"You ready to go Baby?"

He then placed just a tiny kiss to her jaw, right below her ear lobe.

"Sure…ahhh, just give me sec here. Hey, Jameelah, why don't you go sing that new song I taught you to your Daddy."

The little girl bounced down off the swing and went in search of Ray. The young couple made their rounds, letting Ray and Naima how they had enjoyed everything and promising to see everyone tomorrow on base.

As they drove home, holding hands, they discussed the rest of the evening.

"Anything in particular you want to do tonight honey," he asked.

"No, nothing special. I just want to spend time with you. What about you?"

"I just want to stay in tonight, with you."

"I like that idea."

The two got home and other than taking Koda out for a walk, they hunkered down in the apartment. After a couple TV shows that neither one of them really paid attention to, Clay went into the bedroom to double check his bag, to make sure he had everything. As he was going through his ruck, Emma came in and sat down on the bed.

"You have everything?"

"I think so. I was debating putting in more socks. There's nothing worse than having wet feet."

"Does it rain much in Afghanistan?"

"Not this time of year, but if you get too sweaty, it's the same feeling."

"I think there might be a few more pairs in the dryer, if you want to check."

He leaned and kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks, honey."

While Clay was getting his extra socks out of the dryer and paring them up, Emma slid some small, pieces of paper down into the rolls he already had packed. She had written out some short notes for him to find while he was away. But she wasn't sure where to put them until he'd mentioned his socks. She figured that was as good a place as any and hurried to hide them before he returned. He walked back in with another six pairs and fit them in with the rest.

"There, that ought to do it. It'll give me enough that even if I don't get much time to do laundry, I should be able to keep my feet dry."

Clay zipped up the bag and set it next to the bedroom door, all ready for him to grab as he was headed out tomorrow. Emma sighed audibly and pushed up off the bed to walk back into the living room.

"Well, that's all taken care of I guess," she said with false positivity.

Clay caught her hand as she passed and pulled her into his arms. It was funny, time was suddenly so precious, yet neither one of them really knew what to say or how to spend it. They only knew that they wanted to be in each other's arms. Emma grasped his face in both her hands and pushed up onto her toes to kiss him. Then she slid her arms around his neck as the kiss went on and on.

He was enjoying the softness of her lips and the taste of her tongue. She could feel his heart beating against her and his hands roaming down her back. Without breaking their kiss, he lifted her and laid her down gently on the bed. Soon, clothes were flying around the room as they rushed to become one flesh.

She didn't want or need any more build up, she just wanted to feel him, flipping over, and sinking down onto him as soon as she could. It was frantic and carnal and desperate. Neither one of them took long to go over the edge, and it was over quickly. They lay there, panting, hearts pounding, still connected.

Soon Clay could feel the moisture of her hot tears collecting on his chest. He didn't try to talk her out of her feelings, but just held her and let her cry. If he was honest, there may have been a couple tears that escaped his eyes as well. He moved out from under her and cuddled her next to him, rubbing her back and kissing her head.

"Shhh, I know, babe, I know."

"I'm…I'm sorry," she sniffed. "I didn't want to do this in front of you. I just…couldn't help myself."

"Em, you don't have to hide your feelings from me, ever. I'm going to miss you too, you know."

She nodded and sought out his eyes.

"I want to be strong for you," she admitted.

"You are so strong babe. It's okay to be human."

They laid, skin to skin, watching the shadows chase across the ceiling. Finally, Clay ordered a late dinner to be delivered. He only left her side to pull on some pants and retrieve the food once there was a knock on the door. They ate in bed, sharing Chinese out of the containers. When the boxes were empty, he went to throw them away and left her briefly to take Koda out.

After he returned, he joined her back in bed and they made love once again. This time was slow and sensual. They savored each touch, each caress. Clay's eyes never left hers as he willed his love into her with every movement.

"I…I love you Clay," she rasped out between kisses.

He stilled his movements for just an instant as he tucked her hair behind her ear and returned her sentiments.

"I love you too Emmie, for always."

As much as they tried to hold out, they reached the inevitable conclusion of their actions, and they shuddered simultaneously in each other's arms. Emma fell asleep, emotionally spent. After ensuring his alarm was set for the morning, Clay kissed her softly, and followed her into slumber.

Emma fought to awaken as she heard the beeping of Clay's alarm. As soon as she was fully conscious, she berated herself, realizing she had slept through the night. She promised herself that she would waken, if only to feel his arms around her once more.

Clay turned off his alarm and rolled out of bed to go and take a shower. She contemplated getting up to go fix them something to eat, but the desire to be with him one final time was too strong.

He was standing under the shower head, eyes closed when he felt cool air and heard the squeak of the shower door. Then Emma pressed against his broad back, kissing, and licking at his skin as her hands reached around to fondle him.

"Ahhh…Em, baby."

He reached around and pulled her to his front.

"Baby, are you sure? You're going to get sore."

She shook her head vehemently. She didn't care if another encounter left her tender. She almost welcomed the thought of feeling him with her after he was gone.

Once he had her consent, he slanted his mouth over hers and lifted her up to wrap around him. He slid home and helped her to ride him as the hot spray of water spilled over them. Emma didn't even care if she reached her peak. She just wanted to feel him pulse inside of her, filling her up. But Clay was just as intent on giving her pleasure and watching her writhe in ecstasy. He reached down to their joining and massaged her with his thumb until she trembled in his arms and called out his name.

He kissed her over and over as he set her on her feet, and she clung to him. They held each other as the water started to cool. They rushed to clean up and hurried to dry. They ate and readied themselves and finally it was time to leave for base.

Clay gave Koda one last pat before shouldering his bag and ushering Emma out the door in front of him. The ride was almost silent. She was afraid to start crying again, and he didn't feel like making small talk. All too soon they pulled into the lot, joining the rest of Bravo and their families saying goodbye.

Emma took a deep breath and held it together as she stepped out of the truck. She looked around and saw her dad talking to Blackburn. She didn't want to interrupt, but she needed to say goodbye to her dad. Jason saw her approach and finished his conversation with the Lt. Commander. He held out his arms to his girl. Emma walked into her Dad's embrace and hugged him tight, mumbling against his chest.

"Be careful Daddy. We need you to come home safe, okay?"

He nodded and let her step back from him.

"I will Em. We all will."

He squeezed her one last time before picking up his bag and walking through the gate toward the aircraft.

As she turned, Clay was there, for one last goodbye. He enfolded her in his arms, and they held on as long as they could. Finally, Clay could procrastinate no longer and lifted her chin to place a final kiss on her lips.

"Be careful Em. Watch out for yourself and take Koda with you wherever you can. "

He was heading to Afghanistan, and he was worried about her!

"I'll be fine, I promise."

"And let Naima know if you need anything. You don't have to do everything on your own."

"I will. You," she placed her hand in the center of his chest, "take care of yourself and no taking any unnecessary chances. You hear me?"

"Yes ma'am," he grinned. "I gotta go Baby. I love you."

He placed one more, lingering kiss on her lips and then turned to leave.

"I love you too Clay Spenser," she called after him.

He was almost to the gate when he turned for one last glimpse. Emma dug her nails into her palm to keep from crying. She wanted his last image of her to be of her smiling after him. She managed to hold it together until he was gone, and the gate closed. Then the tears fell in a torrent.

Eight weeks. Fifty-six days. Thirteen hundred and forty-four hours. Starting, now.