November 8th, 2038

AM 02:31:10


There hadn't been an exchange of words since Connor's outburst. You both had simply walked inside, and then you'd left him to collect himself, going to your room to get changed…

Dry clothes were a blessing. To feel the cloth caressing your skin; no longer tainted by rain, sweat, snow…it was a brief respite from the maelstrom of disturbed atoms colliding in your head.

It was still dark inside the apartment, save for the welcoming glow in the living room. A small sun that broke through the bleeding light contamination of Detroit's nightscape. The heat from the lit fireplace searched for a body to warm; but outside, snow fell like ashes on the man standing on your balcony.

Frost clung to his jacket; leaving a thin, icy pattern as if he was trying to blend in with winter itself. He had his elbows balanced on the railing, his head switching directions along with the coin trading hands. He caught it between two fingers, and gazed at the stars as delicate snowflakes peppered his hair. The quarter paced up and down his knuckles as he watched the night sky, crossing his ankles and leaning into his free palm for support.

You pulled your boots over your bare feet, sighing as you prepared yourself for a hard conversation. You couldn't leave him to suffer alone; not in good conscience. And you didn't want to, but part of you wondered if he'd be better off without your input.

The sliding-glass door resisted at your first yank, but you mustered through the irritating tension in your stomach as you put your body into it. You stepped into the powdered snow, sealing the glossy hatch behind you.

His head turned in your direction. Most of his face was hidden by his shoulder, but he still seemed haunted by what'd happened.

"It's late." He mumbled, "You should go to sleep. It's not healthy to-"

"I've been working 16-20 hour shifts since the city started falling apart, Connor." You tried to smile, but ultimately failed, "I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I tried."

"Do you typically have trouble sleeping?" He looked at you through dark circles of his own.

"Mhm…" You crossed your arms, leaning next to him, "Mostly due to nightmares, but…What can you do, you know?"

Connor tucked his coin in his pocket.

He gripped the railing with both hands, his head sinking between two hunched shoulders, "When I stayed overnight, and you fell asleep on the couch…Did you…Did you sleep well, then?"

The question struck you as odd, but you figured he had a good reason for asking.

"I did." You shifted your weight, "I felt…safe."

"What made that night different from the others?"

You bit your lip, contemplating how close to "the line" you wanted to stray. He was so lost. There wasn't another word for it. Turns out, you cared a lot less about crossing the line than dismissing him.

"It's because you were here..." You choked down an unexpected surge of emotion, "…With me."

It was the truth, and he needed a dose of transparency right now. A defenseless act of confession, just to let him know you were as vulnerable as he was. That he wasn't alone in dealing with the confusing aspects of life.

He lifted his chin, straightening his back. You huffed under your breath, eyeing up his height – his build. It wasn't a mystery as to why he brought a feeling of security whenever he was around.

"At the bar, it appeared as if I'd frightened you more than anything."

"I didn't know how to react." You flipped directions, leaning the small of your back on the railing and looking up at him, "Can't say I didn't enjoy watching you kick ass, though."

A sad, exhausted smirk followed a breath pushed through his nose. As lost as he was, he was starting to find his way back home.

"In the car, I'm sorry if I acted brash." His face fell, "If I'd continued to drive, I would've placed your safety at risk. And," He winced, "I'm sorry I hit your steering wheel."

"Connor," You scooted closer to him, nudging his elbow, "Stop apologizing."

"But I-"

"It's okay. I understand."

"How?" His eyes switched between each of yours, his features folding over in frustration, "How could you possibly understand what's happening to me?"

He wasn't aggressive in his remark. It was as if he was genuinely curious, asking for guidance in a very…android, manner of speech. You rolled your neck, thinking about how to reciprocate your thoughts in a way he'd understand.

"I'm a cop. I was given orders to stay at home, sit on my ass, and not give a damn about anything to do with work. Right?"

He nodded.

"Did I?"

He shook his head.

"And when I found Kara and Alice, two deviants on the run that're posed as a threat against the city I'm supposed to be protecting, serving…I let them go." You pushed off the railing, placing your hand on his arm.

You gently rotated him towards you, forcing him to look you in the eye.

"You said it yourself. It was sympathy based from sentiment. And you…" Your touch slid down his forearm, your fingers intertwining with his, "You did the same thing, back at the Eden Club."

"I am a machine designed to mimic human behavior." His jaw shook, "Perhaps I was simply mirroring-"

"Connor, what you perceive as errors in your software aren't that different from human error. Haven't you ever heard the sayings, 'I'm only human?' 'To err is to human?' We 'deviate' all the time."

You held your hands up, taking a step back, "Look at this place. The state of it."

You turned your back on him, your fingers latching on your hips, "Our lack of humanity is a product by design all in itself…"

"You speak of your kind as if they're inferior," He touched your shoulder, "But your kind created mine. No amount of enhanced capabilities or processing power will ever change that."

"And now we have to free your kind…Because if we were responsible in our approach in the first place, all these murders, conflicts…They wouldn't be happening."

You'd tried. You'd tried so damn hard to stop it. You'd climbed the courts to the highest level, one class action lawsuit at a time. And in the end, you'd accomplished nothing but a divorce filing; a lucrative monetary settlement – gaining threats placed on your life, and a docket in WITSEC's archives longer than your list of reasons why androids should've been permitted freedom from the day of their launch…

None of it had added up to anything.

It had always been your biggest regret. The failure in life that you'd never been able to let go of: How you threw everything away for a cause – a career, that wasn't yours; and not only did you lose the battle that came after…You ended up with nothing but a recount of pointlessly spent years that could never be reclaimed.

"Some of us revere humans, you know." He lifted your chin with a curled knuckle, wiping away a streak of hot tears with his thumb, "An entirely organic being that creates life in a multitude of forms. Biology…nature…it's remarkable. And while not all androids have 'freedom,' as you say…Some of us are more than happy to just make life as comfortable for our creators as we can."

You began to tremble. Your knees were weak. The pounding in your chest hurt. The demolition of your walls while being buried in the debris…hurt. You wanted to feel better. You wanted him to feel better. You wanted to feel like you deserved this hidden citizen who struggled so desperately to find his place in a world that didn't want to make room for him.

Your forehead crashed into his chest, your arms slipping underneath his jacket and pulling the opening apart – barging your way through. You held on to him for dear life, like if you'd let go, it would be the end of you.

The pulse of his Thirium pump regulator, a heartbeat that was mechanical in nature, soothed the rising battle scars of your past that seemed hellbent on being torn open. A wicked game that stacked the deck, leaving you more defenseless than you'd imagined.

His hand pressed against the back of your head, your cheek flattening against him; his fingers laced through your hair. His arm wrapped around your waist, and you molded into him at his embrace.

A kiss on your head rippled through you like a run command of its own – one more potent than any deviancy virus. A malware attack that tore through the last of your firewalls; defragging corrupted memory banks, registry files, and syntax errors written in the human script known as trauma.

"Everything's going to be fine."

His words rumbled against your ear, a salve to your aching soul.

"That was the first thing you ever said to me, when Daniel…" Your throat closed, and you choked, "I hear it every night-" You pulled away just enough to find him through a watery veil, your eyes stinging, "After all the bad dreams…You're always there. Every…night…"

He left you cold as he put distance between the two of you; stopping as your elbows met the curve of his waist. His eyes released raw emotions from their deep-brown prison. He cupped your jaw, finding you as you waited for another rescue.

There was a space between his lips as they trembled in hesitation, uttering a string of words that halted all the doubts – all the self-loathing, all the everything.

"And I always will be…"

Your cleaved breath was interrupted by a gentle kiss that stole the air from you as the two of you became a mess of tangled limbs and unwinding feelings. His fingertips tapped a delicate rhythm, playing notes colder than the November night on your spine. Your arms wrapped around his neck; your body flushed against his.

The quiet laying of snow, the floating clouds of steam releasing from an overheating system – the elements captured the moment in high definition. A call from within that was answered by the only man capable of decoding your lost frequencies.

His hands were on your hips. His tongue in your mouth. Your teeth clicking against his. Your fingers exploring the damp hair on his head – the intensity exploding through the fibers of your being…

It was enough to keep you warm. Safe.

Enough to convince you that he was right:

Everything was going to be fine.


***Lots of notes here!***

1. IT. FINALLY. HAPPENED!

2. I was totally drinking at a sports bar while LA ROJA kicked all the ass today - sorry about any drunken comment responding.

3. SORRY! I know I said I wouldn't be updating today but this morning I woke up and saw all of your amazing comments and just GOT SO INSPIRED AND HAD TO DO IT! (Thanks again for all the birthday wishes!)

4. ...BUT, the next one probably won't be here until Thursday. Blocked scheduling is dumb. ;_;

5. Shout out to GloriaLAU who spent FIVE HOURS translating the second chapter of Deviant Behavior!

6. Someone contacted me about posting a Russian version today. That's really exciting, too. :D (Has Russian family members that still yell KHA at me)

7. THANK YOU BETAS!

8. THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Guest Review Responses:

Kaycie: You don't even know how happy that makes me :3 And thank you for the birthday wishes! It's been a fantastic day!