Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter. This fulfills the monthly Froday challenge for March 2022 which involved writing a story based on a TV or Movie quote and I picked the "Bond, James Bond" quote. It also fills a prompt for the Harry Potter Prompt Meme.
Rabbit
"Black. Regulus Arcturus Black."
A laugh came from her mouth, and she said, "Are you, James Bond?"
"I don't follow," Regulus said, the nervousness from the girl asking his name suddenly replaced by utter confusion. "All I did was say my name, Regulus Arcturus Black or R.A.B."
"What do you mean you don't follow, rabbit?" Her brown eyes sparkled, and she let out another laugh while his cheeks heated up slightly. This was what he got for trying to converse with a Muggle. "You've actually not heard of the James Bond movies?"
"Movies? And rabbit?" Regulus frowned. It wasn't that he'd not heard of movies. He'd heard plenty from Sirius, talking about what he considered to be fantastic Muggle past times, only for their mother to follow up that movies were "the spawn of Muggles," a funny phrase Sirius liked to use whenever their mother objected to anything Muggle related. And, he wasn't sure their mother was right on this one as there was supposed to be a Wizarding movie industry that Narcissa's friend—the Zabini one—was a part of.
"You don't watch movies?" There was a look, one that made him think she was disgusted at him for not knowing.
"No," he said truthfully, looking down at the ground. "How the hell did I end up in this situation?"
…
He'd ended up in that particular situation because of Crouch junior. He'd been out shopping with his mother— maman— for Christmas, which would be yet another Christmas without Sirius, leaving Regulus thinking maybe everyone was right about his older brother not returning. They'd been sitting at a cafe while their mothers finished shopping when Barty decided to blurt out, "So when are you going to get laid?"
That resulted in Regulus spluttering the coffee he was attempting to drink all over the place while he looked around wildly for his mother. "Not so loud! What if they heard you?"
"I'd blame it all on you," Barty said in a sing-song-voice, making Regulus stiffen up at the idea of Barty blaming the entire thing on him, giving both of their mothers the wrong impression. Suddenly Barty was laughing, that maniacal way he laughed. "Just kidding. If it were anybody else, I would, but there is no way they'd believe your virginal self started this conversation."
"Crouch. This isn't funny." Regulus felt his cheeks heat up, remembering how the other Slytherin, including some of the females, would tease him for what seemed like his perpetual virginity, but more specifically, his lack of knowledge regarding practically anything involving sex until he ran into it headlong in one of their conversations which would result, as now, in one of his few times of showing emotion.
And there was…
"So you're really going to wait until mummy dearest shacks you up with some girl, and then that's it, absolutely no choice in who you have sex with?"
"Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"
"You are so oblivious, Black," Barty said, frowning. "And this time, it isn't funny. Go and lose your virginity already."
"It's not that simple."
Except, according to Evans, when he complained to him about what Barty said, the point being that Barty was utterly inappropriate to have such a conversation where their mothers could hear it—it was that simple.
"See, we can go and fuck up any Muggle girl we want, and it doesn't matter."
"Are you kidding me?" Regulus said, the very idea horrifying him, though he didn't understand why. Sex wasn't, after all, something you talked about in the Black family unless you were one Sirius Black and—well, there was a reason why he was always told not to hang out with his older brother even before Sirius ran away and was blasted off the tapestry. Even their grandfather discouraged it, having that look of disgust on his face.
And Sirius definitely wasn 't a virgin, which was something everybody at school knew—except him for the longest time, of course, and even then, he didn't quite understand it, nor did the other Slytherin explain. They simply laughed, saying even Sirius knew how to have a good time.
"I'm not. Muggle girls have no way of finding us, so it can't get back to our parents, and it doesn't ever come back to haunt us."
What he said didn't seem right, as Aunt Lucretia always whispered her worries about Sirius ' sexual endeavors leading to unintended consequences. " What kind of consequences? "
"This is why we don't talk about it, Lucretia," his mother had said, shutting the doors of the drawing-room and shooing him away as if he was a little child, much as they did with other things, but not without warning that such conversations—which he was currently having with his friends, or the ones Sirius said were his friends—were not for his ears.
"I know. Let's hook you up with a girl you don't know, so you can, as Barty says, get laid finally. And then everyone can stop hassling you, but your mother never needs to find out."
"Barty might blab."
"Barty doesn't want to face the wrath of Walburga Black. None of us do. Nobody except that idiot Sirius is crazy enough for that."
"That is true," Regulus said, wondering why Sirius always liked antagonizing their mother so, for he was sure by now that it was all purposeful, which made him not returning even more confusing, as he was sure Sirius actually liked fighting with their mother and yelling at her, which in his mind as—well, they did say the Black family was mad, so that must be Sirius' form of madness.
Regulus suspected his own was not getting things he should like an average person would. And so there he was, Evan's asking the first girls they met if they would help his friend lose his virginity, so Evans also thought like Sirius that they were friends, although—
Except, the girls were supposed to be girls they didn 't know, and he definitely knew that one girl. Well, sort of.
…
"Are you kidding me?"
The look on Arcturus Sirius Black made Regulus remember one never questioned an elder Black, let alone the head of the family. It was that definite glare Sirius got when he said something wrong, but then—
Arcturus let an eyebrow shoot up. "This is confusing you because it goes against everything your mother and father have taught you, right?"
"Yes," Regulus swallowed, feeling sheepish. "But they also taught me never to question the family head."
His grandfather sighed. "Says the boy who will one day be family head himself."
"But Sirius…"
"Sirius will not be family head," Arcturus said firmly. "As for the point of this, as you're wondering, as family head, there will be times you will need to interact with Muggles, so this is a practice in doing so, do you understand me?"
"Yes, sir."
"And it's always a good idea to, just in case the situation comes up, be prepared not to draw Muggles' attention to our society."
"In other words, no breach of the Statute of Secrecy, right?"
"Correct. As members of the Black family, it is our job to uphold that."
"Correct," Regulus said, agreeing with him.
Yet, heading into Granger Bookstore to ask a Muggle which of Shakespeare's plays he should buy for someone who'd never read them before, but the moment he saw her, he found himself tongue-tied, something that hadn't ever happened before. And he stared until she said, "Can I help you?"
What his grandfather told him to say came out mangled, much to his embarrassment, meaning he'd failed at what his grandfather sent him out to do, as he'd failed to interact with a Muggle.
He'd failed miserably, yet she said, "I say the Twelfth Night . It's where my name comes from, actually."
And so he bought a copy of Twelfth Night and then a different one of Shakespeare's plays that winter, justifying it with what his father said about learning to interact with Muggles, even though he'd really not talked to her, really met her until—
…
Until then.
There she was, with her brown hair and brown eyes, her mouth curling into a smile which made him feel—Regulus didn't have words for how he felt, but Evans noticed him looking at her specifically, his elbow going into his ribs and suddenly—well, suddenly it felt even more wrong as it felt right, his eyes glued on her.
And—
"Sure."
"Olivia!" one of her companions said.
"It's a date," Olivia said, grabbing his hand. And yes, her name was indeed from Twelfth Night, and he followed her away from that New Year's Eve that Evans dragged him out on, with Regulus feeling absolutely confused and Evans laughing and giving him a thumbs up.
They arrived at a spot she said they could see the fireworks, that they didn't need to if he didn't want to, but that they could, and that her name was Olivia Granger, which was when she asked him what his name was, which led to him feeling like such an idiot.
"I'm so sorry!"
He looked up, surprised. "What?"
"I didn't realize when I said…" She frowned.
"No. I'm sorry," Regulus looked away. "You couldn't have known."
"It was still thoughtless. I mean…" Olivia smiled. "While it's true you've stopped into the bookstore during summer and winter terms, although you haven't yet this term, we don't really know each other. But, I think…"
"She thinks I'm some kind of stalker."
"I think you actually want to get to know me, and I've wanted to know you."
And then—
Regulus decided to break the Statute of Secrecy. To suddenly let her know who he was, how he wanted a world where he didn't have to hide who he was from her.
He did it despite knowing it was the stupidest, most reckless thing he'd ever done, something more akin to what Sirius would have done, yet it felt right in the moment, and—
"Wait? You don't get to choose who you marry?"
He'd been rattling on, with her responding with apparent interest to various things she said. She believed him, so he didn't have to show her magic, but he did, as they were watching the fireworks, but then he'd brought up the families plans, how he wasn't thrilled about being future head despite his older brother being heir, and how it was all on him, and she said that.
"Well?"
"No. I'm not allowed to."
And that was the first time since they started talking that she felt judged by her because of the look on her face.
"What?"
"That's not right. That's not fair."
"Why is it not fair?"
"Because you're supposed to…" She frowned.
"What?"
"It's supposed to be someone you want to be with, not someone who your parents choose for you."
"Someone I want to be with?"
"You've never really thought about it, have you? That the person they pick for you may not be someone you want to be with, someone who's not a match for you."
"Why wouldn't it be?" Regulus asked.
"Because you've already told me that there isn't a match for you."
"Wait. I did?"
"You said that the other Purebloods don't get you, and that's who they'd pick from for your wife."
He found himself staring out over the river as the fireworks continued going off. "But all of the marriages in my family have worked out."
"That doesn't mean it…" She paused, the corner of her mouth twisted up. "Let's do it."
Which confused him.
"It would be your choice, just once, who you got to be intimate like that with if you're fine given the fact I'm a Muggle. And I'm okay with it if it means that it was your choice for once."
"My choice?"
"That's what it's about, really."
Which seemed right at the time, and so…
He was intimate with her, in the way he knew Evan was suggesting he should, in the way his mother would be furious about. Getting laid, as Barty called it, was crude, beyond crude to describe the experience, and he didn't want to forget it, and yet—
Yet he found himself wondering about what she said, about being that way with one of the Pureblood girls who'd didn't even look his way until Sirius was disowned and he was the way to becoming the Black matriarch.
And—he didn't want that.
But he had no choice.
But, there was that one night with her that he planned on never forgetting. And it made the cogs turn.
