The Model Agent
By SarahsSupplyCloset
Author's Note: Don't worry. I don't have anything to say about human rights this time. I just hope you enjoy the chapter.
Summary: Sarah Walker's modeling career is in its budding stages when the CIA recruits her into their ranks at 16. 10 years later, she's balancing being a world famous supermodel and actress with spying for the CIA. Her existence is fraught with danger and she's constantly on the go, until she meets a disarmingly sincere man on the beach...and her life is changed forever.
Disclaimer: I do not own CHUCK. I am not making any money writing this story.
3 Years Earlier
She heard the knocking distantly, through the pillow she'd covered her head with. With a sniffle, she lifted her head and groaned, "Go awaaaaay."
But the person outside of her apartment didn't hear her, because not only did they not go away, they knocked again.
Cursing, she climbed out of her bed, dabbing at her cheeks, wiping under her definitely bloodshot eyes, and grabbing tissues to blow her nose.
She knew she hadn't done much to make herself look more presentable as she peeked through the peephole of the door, like she always did when there was a knock.
The moment she saw who it was, she tore the door open, relieved. "Oh. Hi."
Carina Miller frowned deeply as she took her in head to toe. "Oh… Honey, not the sweats and the high pony."
It made Sarah laugh, even as she started to cry again. Her friend stepped in and wrapped her arms around her, kicking the door shut behind her. "Robbie broke up with me," she whimpered through the tears.
"I know. But crap! Ya know YOU could have told me and I would've come immediately."
"It was just a few days ago."
"Exactly!"
"Wait…" Sarah pursed her lips, pulling back from the comforting hug, confused. "I didn't tell you so how'd you…know? Oh God. Tabloids?"
Carina winced and stepped back from Sarah, reaching behind her and tugging said tabloid out from her belt where she'd stuck it. "Front page of today's CelebRag. Would've liked to hear it from YOU and not THESE shit heads."
As she handed it over, Sarah felt a wave of both misery and anger, all at once. The headline was ghastly, but what did she expect?
ROBBIE KLEIN AND SARAH WALKER CALL IT QUITS
Robbie tells the supermodel to take her heels and take a hike!
Beneath it was a candid picture paparazzi had taken of her and Robbie leaving a Korean supermarket hand in hand, in the happier days, smiles on their faces, each with canvas bags full of food. They slashed the picture, tearing it in two with mean jagged edges. For dramatic effect or something. The assholes.
She remembered cooking side by side with Robbie, how good it had been. Feeding one another food as they prepped the meal. How he struggled over trying to make kimchi, watching a YouTube video and finally giving up.
He was such a bad cook.
And a bad boyfriend, she realized now. But he wasn't as bad of a boyfriend as she was a bad girlfriend.
She knew that was the truth.
That was why he'd broken up with her.
The tabloids had become too much for him, the paparazzi following him to his car all the time. He'd hit one of them and narrowly avoided a lawsuit because they'd come too close to his mom. His mom who insisted Sarah wasn't good enough for her son. And she'd been right.
Sarah hadn't done enough to protect her actor boyfriend from the press.
"They're such pieces of shit," Sarah breath, shaking her head. "I mean, yeah, he was the one who broke it off, but… take my heels and take a hike? Fucking awful."
"It isn't even clever. It's just stupid and mean."
Sarah shrugged, handing the shitty rag back to Carina. "Red, this is impossible. I can't have a relationship. Not a real one. I don't know why I'm fucking trying."
"Because you aren't me and it's something you actually want," her friend said with a shrug.
"Well, it doesn't matter that I want it because it's useless. I'm not gonna get it. I got dumped because he…" She sniffled, accepting another tissue from Carina.
"What'd he say?"
Sarah led the other model to her couch, then paused. "Oh, you-you want something to drink?"
"No. Just talk to me."
They sat as Sarah nodded. "He said he should've broken it off with me after that situation with him hitting a pap. That should've been the last straw, he said."
"What! That was awesome! The asshole got what was coming to him."
"Yeah, but Robbie ended up halfway to a lawsuit. He's built up this nice rustic guy persona and it was dashed on the rocks of that paparazzi guy's face."
Carina winced. "Yeah, I know he was really pissed about the whole thing. 'Cuz of his mom being involved."
"I should've known this wasn't gonna last, Carina. I should've known. I get comfortable, I think maybe it'll work this time." She made a miserable face. "I liked him."
With a sigh, the redhead put her hand on Sarah's shoulder, squeezing. "I know you did."
"He told me he really liked me, thought maybe we had a chance. Only we'd go somewhere and someone would pop out of the bushes and put cameras in his face. And he felt like we were never alone. He said he doesn't want to be with a girl who he has to share with the whole world."
"What? He's a fucking ACTOR. Who else is he gonna date besides someone else in his business? Like, viably, who else can he date? He got a lot of PR from being with you and I bet you won't hear him acknowledging that. Bet he isn't gonna complain about that part. He's gonna sail that part off into the sunset."
"Leaving me in his dust," she said quietly, burying her face in her hands. "This life just isn't suited to a relationship. Or maybe I just can't…be with someone who isn't prepared to fully embrace having cameras shoved in his face."
"Oh you can find plenty of guys like that. They're all over the place. We can get you laid stat, girlie."
"Will you cut it out please? My heart is broken." She flopped over onto the couch cushion and groaned. She felt her friend's hand land on her leg and pat her comfortingly. "What sucks is I warned him right in the beginning. First date. Before we decided to keep seeing each other, before sex, before anything else. I told him that the paparazzi, the life I lead, the attention and publicity, the lack of privacy, were all going to be a factor. And he insisted it wouldn't be that bad. I told him 'uhhh yea actually it will be. Trust me.' And he was sure I didn't know what I was talking about."
"Typical dude."
"He said 'Sarah, I'm an actor. I know how tabloids and paparazzi can be', as if the man isn't in a shining spotlight of positive spins and positive think pieces about how talented and handsome he is, and oh what a good guy volunteering at the crisis health center the one time his publicist forced him to. Just between us, he whined about it like crazy," she said glumly, rolling her eyes. She pushed herself to sit up again. "He thought he knew, he thought I was exaggerating. And really, he just didn't trust that I knew what my own life was like." She scoffed and shook her head.
"What that sounds like to me is a lack of respect," Carina chimed in. Sarah nodded, because she didn't think Carina was wrong about that. "He didn't respect you. He probably just wanted to get into Sarah Walker's pants."
"Gee thanks. To say nothing of my glowing personality," she snarked dully. In spite of her sarcasm, that had hurt a little. Because Carina was telling the truth. It was a lack of respect, and he probably just said what he thought he had to say to move past the topic and onto something he was more interested in.
He wanted to have sex.
And he had.
But she could try to scrounge up SOME pride in the fact that she made him wait for the 4th date to climb into bed with him.
And now 5 months later, they were over.
Her mom had asked if there was a chance they could rekindle, if she apologized, or if they moved their relationship out of the public eye and only saw each other behind closed doors. But it was too late for that.
The flame was gone. Snuffed out.
And it hurt like hell.
He hadn't respected her, her insistence, not enough to actually stop and listen, try to understand, and take it all seriously.
And now she was single again. Woefully single again.
She slumped over into her best friend's arms and cried, a good hard cry, letting the other model stroke her hair comfortingly.
+ —
The Present
"I respect your wishes, I respect you."
Sarah wrapped her leg around him and swung her weight to the side, pinning him to his bed, throwing her head back at how good he felt this deep, with all of her weight pressing down into his lap.
Maybe it WAS a kink. Maybe she'd really found one.
Because those words he'd said to her were trapped in her head now and she could not get enough of him. His voice repeated them over and over and over in her mind as she looked down into his face, braced her hands on his chest, and began to jerk herself back and forth on his cock.
Chuck cursed and arched himself off of the bed, his hands held up by his shoulders, hovering there as if he didn't know what to do with them.
God, she was desperate for him. She just wanted more.
And she grabbed onto his hands tightly, squeezing his fingers in hers. He picked up on what she needed, as observant as he was, and he propped his elbows on the bed next to him, letting her use his strength for she started to buck herself on him. "Nnng! Chuck! Chuck, you feel so good!"
"Oh, so do you," he whimpered through a clenched jaw. "Oh God yes! Yes yes!"
The intimacy of their eyes meeting, their fingers interlocked, felt like nothing else she'd ever felt before. It felt like more even than they'd shared in New York. Like being in LA had gifted a power to this union that hadn't been there in New York. The casual setting was gone.
They were home.
This was real.
And she wanted him so bad she hurt.
But she could feel her fingers going numb with how hard they were both squeezing. So she slowed her hips, stopping altogether, giving a shallow circular motion just to tease him, earning a groan and a massive grin from the man beneath her.
Then she extracted her hands from his and grinned back. "Scoot up a little?" she panted, blowing some hair out of her face and giggling as he moved quickly to do exactly as she asked.
She hummed in pleasure as he grabbed onto her hip and pulled her with him, scooting up more against the metal railing of his bed. She reached behind him to fix the pillows so that he'd be more comfortable.
"Oh, thanks," he breathed, but the grin on his face crumbled into utter desire and awe when she immediately slammed her hands down on the railing again and began to bounce on his cock.
Sarah snapped out a curse between her teeth and shut her eyes, tilting her head back, loving how this felt. With her eyes shut, she was able to concentrate on the sensations, having him filling her, the way he surged in and out of her as she bounced.
She moved one hand down to his shoulder and held on tight, switching it up from bouncing to swinging her ass up and down in his lap, burying her face in his curls and just clinging.
"Oh yeeeeah!" he groaned.
She felt his hand land on her thigh and squeeze. And even as she strained to keep going, another climax building quicker than the last few, her hips surging up and down fast and hard, Chuck massaged her thigh, squeezing, rubbing. Her orgasm fell over her like the roof had caved in and she moaned out a curse, her thighs quaking as they held her up over him.
Chuck scooted down a bit under her then and she felt his lips close around her nipple, his hands large and protective as they came around to rest on her mid back. He pulled her into his mouth and sucked, his tongue flicking her extremely sensitive nipple.
That alone, coupled with his groan and the way he was holding her, nearly sent her over the edge again.
She was so damn sensitive after that, she did actually tip over the edge again when she felt his teeth graze her nipple just so.
Chuck pulled his mouth away from her and just cradled her against his chest tenderly as she shuddered with climax, letting out a breathless laugh. She couldn't even be mad at him for laughing. No man had ever driven her this crazy.
He barely touched her the right way and she was done for.
Sarah finally caught her breath and she lifted her hips, easing him out of her. He cradled her even as she rolled to the side, and his arm ended up pinned under her as she laid on her back beside him. She didn't care. And he didn't seem to care.
They'd tried to get under the sheets eventually as the time went on, but things had become intense enough that they'd pushed and kicked at them. They were now on the floor at the end of the bed, except for the part that was currently twisted around Chuck's ankle.
She giggled as she caught sight of it, not sure why it was so funny to her at the moment. Maybe the leftover sensations still spilling through her incredibly satisfied body. Everything in her felt heightened, her nerves singing, fingertips and toes buzzing.
She had half a mind to sit up and reach down to extract him from the sheet that was clinging to his foot, but it felt too good just laying here, and she still couldn't quite catch her breath.
"What?" he chuckled, sounding like he couldn't catch his breath either. She pointed and he craned his neck to look down his body. "Oh. Whoops."
Good. He sat up to untangle himself, throwing the sheet off the end of the bed with a flourish and a "Ta daaaa!" making her laugh even harder.
Taking a deep breath through the laughter, she covered her face, grinning so hard she thought her face might break.
"Second date?" he asked a few minutes later, interrupting the silence. "Or…third? Fourth? Are we dropping breaks into what happened in New York? Splitting it up into different dates? And if we are, where? Since we sort of just…were in the same place for most of that."
Sarah pushed her hands through her hair and took a deep breath, still buzzing. How, she had no clue. But she loved it. "That's too much work. Too confusing. Just start it here. In LA."
He hummed. "Hmmm. Okay, so this is our first date."
Giggling, she rolled over onto her stomach and grinned at him, shoving her arms under the pillow and hugging it tight. "Our second first date."
"Now who's being confusing?"
She laughed and poked his shoulder, making him chuckle.
"Still me," he admitted. Then he turned his face towards her and winced. "Sorry. I'm getting too stuck in my head, I know. It's a defense mechanism. To overthink stuff and focus on crap that isn't important in the grand scheme of things. Honing in on details."
Sarah frowned a little, tilting her head. "Hold on. DEFENSE mechanism? What about this do you need defense from?"
He winced harder. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm, um, there's a total lack of any…control. I mean, I'm lacking control in this situation. I'm out of control. I can't…get my footing. And that's why the…focusing on unimportant details thing is happening. Numbering our dates. Sorry. I'm gonna just shut up now."
She giggled and shook her head. "No don't. Don't shut up." She sighed then, because she knew better than anyone about defense mechanisms. But she didn't feel like she wanted to talk about it out loud.
Instead she reached out to lay her hand on his chest, feeling his warm skin under her fingers, her palm, the hardness of his muscle, the smattering of hair. She let her eyes shut and just teased his hair with her fingertips, loving that she could feel it under her palm when he growled quietly. A rumble against her fingers, just a slight vibration that went through her arm and up into her shoulder.
Sarah Walker had been intimate with enough men before tonight, all kinds of men, to have been in this situation, this position before. The post-sex haze. It was during the height of the best parts of the sex, when she was on the precipice, just tipping over into a climax, that she found herself feeling so purely human. It was corny, she knew, but it was like she was connected to all of the elements, her spirit becoming one with her surroundings. If the climax was good enough, at least.
But it was this very moment, lying here with her eyes shut, the heat of his skin beneath her hand, the rise and fall of his chest, his smooth skin, his hair there, hearing his quiet breathing, her heart still racing in her own chest, that had Sarah feeling more human than she'd ever felt standing on those high peaks, ready to spill over the edge.
She blinked her eyes open again and took in his profile as he just stared at the ceiling, his lips stretched in a soft smile.
And then he dropped his own hand over hers on his chest. His fingers closed around hers, and he squeezed. He had long eyelashes, she decided. And his jaw was beautifully shaped, his nose, and she loved the way his curls swooped up from his forehead. She wanted to touch them. In this lighting, they looked darker than she knew they were.
When he drew in a deep breath, his brown eyes flicked away from the ceiling and he turned to look at her again. He furrowed his beautiful brow and smirked. "What?"
She shook her head shyly. "I guess it sort of creeped up on me, how sincerely handsome you are."
Chuck blushed brightly, immediately, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Me?" He giggled and it was the cutest thing. Then he pushed himself up to his elbows and looked over his shoulder, confused. "Surely there's some other sincerely handsome dude you're…talking to…"
"Stop," she giggled, shoving at him with the hand she still had on his chest, even wrapped up in his own hand. "You know I'm talking to you. And I mean it."
He gave her a closed mouth smile and sighed, lying back again. And then he rolled onto his side, folding his arm under his head, pillowing his ear against his bicep. It emphasized muscles she hadn't really noticed much before. Granted, she'd been distracted earlier, and in New York, things'd had a much more…intense and desperate and…finite feel to them. They'd both been in pure take mode there, as if neither was sure where it would go after the vacation bubble popped.
She was finally able to really look at him now. And she found herself admiring him quite a bit, in a way that felt completely different from usual.
Sarah Walker didn't have to work hard to nab extremely hot men, men who women all over the world dreamed about taking to bed.
She was Sarah Walker.
She didn't take advantage of her power in any way, shape, or form.
Of course.
But she'd had sex with some really hot men, and her admiration for their bodies, their faces, had been different.
There was almost a feeling of not wanting to touch or mar the faces and bodies that were their cash cow, the way they made their living. She touched anyway, of course, but it had never felt this real, being with those other men.
They'd never felt as real.
And it wasn't that Chuck Bartowski wasn't a supermodel or a heartthrob actor. It wasn't that he was an insanely rich CEO of a massively successful tech giant. Contrary to Casey's snarking in the limo. She was starting to think it was about him, purely about him.
She took a deep breath, and she spoke. "Will you answer truthfully if I ask you something?"
He nodded, and seemed to also feel the need to belatedly add, "Of course" in that soft sincere voice of his.
"Even with the amount of time I spend on the road, jetting off to far locations to shoot movies or for photoshoots, for interviews, whatever it is I have to do…" Missions to Sri Lanka, helping open military blocks to get food to people in need in Burma and Syria, whatever else the CIA stole her from her real life to do, none of which she would be telling this magnificent man lying next to her. "How busy we both are, our lives constantly up in the air. I don't mean to speak for you, but that's how it is for me…" He dismissed her concern with a shake of his head, wrinkling his brow. "Are you really sure you want to try this? Seeing each other? Even with the stipulations I just put on it, not telling anyone, keeping it super secret?"
"That's a big question," he said, his smile dimming just slightly, and yet it also became softer, his brown eyes looking more of a gold color in the room's lighting.
"I know. But I want you to tell me truthfully. Because this is gonna be an undertaking. Not easy at all. It's been hard to date guys who are in my same line of business, guys I see on and off the runway all the time. Guys I acted with in movies. My attempts at dating them went south, and it was rough. Us? We're on totally different paths, you and me. Paths that apparently only cross here and there, at benefits and galas and charity balls."
Chuck pursed his lips thoughtfully.
And then he moved, gently closing the distance between them, his body sliding up against hers, his leg tucking between both of hers as he hunched over her to press his lips to the underside of her jaw. "The question is whether or not the both of us think this is enough." She felt his hand rest on her side, on her ribcage, his thumb stroking along the valley underneath one of her breasts. She shivered as he did that, right as his lips graced the spot under her ear. "Is this enough, Sarah Walker?" But something stopped her from being able to answer, her eyelids fluttering as he lowered his lips to her neck. "And is this enough?" he breathed.
Yes.
God yes it was.
He kissed his way to her shoulder, back up her neck to her jaw, and back down to her other shoulder. She tried to control her breathing as his lips dotted lower, and lower, and lower, and then his mouth was wrapped around one of her nipples, his tongue blanketing it in a wet heat.
Sarah moaned, arching herself up into his mouth, combing her fingers through his hair and twisting her other fist in the bedding underneath her.
He pulled his mouth away and she heard him mumble, "What about this?"
She gave him a breathy laugh, halfway to losing her mind. "I asked you first."
Chuckling, he crawled back to line his face up with hers. "Was that not clear enough?" He raised an eyebrow. "Do you need me to be clearer?"
"Maybe," she said, swallowing hard. Need was pooling between her legs and she squirmed a little at how intense it was.
His grin was so big, stretching over his face, wrinkling his nose and his forehead, and she melted further into the mattress. And then he dove in to press his lips to hers, and they folded their bodies together, legs tangling.
Sarah's hand drifted down his back, and she found his ass, squeezing him, pulling him in tighter.
He whimpered, breaking the kiss, moving his lips to her neck again. "I want to see you again, Sarah," he breathed desperately. "Please…" Her heart raced as his hardness pressed against her inner thigh, so close to what she wanted… And the way he sounded in her ear, like he was on the verge of catching fire.
"I don't care how long I have to wait…" He stopped then, pulling back just a bit, narrowing his eyes. "Wait, I mean…I DO care, I'd rather it be sooner rather than later. I don't want to wait long at all, but I will. I will if I have to."
Sarah laughed at him, shaking her head. She reached up to stroke the backs of her fingers down his cheek. "Our schedules won't magically line themselves up just because we're…seeing each other."
"It's okay. That's okay. But please, please tell me I get to see you again." He lunged for her, his mouth closing over the pulse point on her neck, and she shivered. He was so good at this. "When can I see you again?" he whispered.
"Tomorrow," she whimpered. What was she doing? Tomorrow? God. She was free tomorrow. She had time now, even if it was up in the air whether or not that time would stay hers. But was she really this desperate to be around him that this date wasn't even finished yet and she was still aching to see him again? Not 24 hours later?
"Yes," he grumbled, his tongue then tracing her collar bone. "Please, yes."
So she guessed that answered her question. And then she forgot the question altogether because he slid down her body, lips dancing delicately over her skin on his way down.
And his mouth was pressing heated patterns along the insides of her thighs, switching between them, even finding an extremely sensitive spot just beside her knee that made her absolutely moan.
But she lost every last bit of her control, became nearly wild with desire, when she felt his mouth close over her sex.
"Chuck!"
The breath rushed out of her lungs and she reached up to grab onto the bars above her head, clutching them tightly in fists, her knuckles white with her strength.
Sarah's jaw fell open as he ate her out slowly, carefully, methodical in the way his lips moved, where his tongue pressed into her. He lifted her legs and propped them on his shoulders, and she felt even more of his mouth on her. She squeezed his head between her thighs and he chuckled, sending a shockwave through her.
She cried out as he built up the pressure, his mouth pressed into her even harder, his tongue doing things she never thought possible. Sarah didn't think she'd ever felt anything like this. Nothing had ever been this…different and fantastic.
"Chuck, yes," she whimpered. "Oh, yeah…yeah! Hnnggg!"
He hummed, the vibrations shooting through her body and feeling so freaking amazing that she gasped, everything in her going tense.
Sarah wasn't sure how long he spent between her legs, but she knew that when his fingers slid over her clitoris and began to touch her, rolling it in quick circles, she wouldn't be too long. It built up quick, that tension deep inside of her lower belly.
She had no control over the sounds she made. But the slightest graze of his teeth against her sex had her snap out a curse between clenched teeth. She let go of the head of his bed with one hand and slapped it down hard against the mattress beside her hip, twisting there again, yanking at the bedding, needing it to end before she went mad, and also never wanting it to end, ever.
"Oh my God!" she yelped as he grazed her with his teeth again. She angled her head to look down her body at him, gaping. And his golden hued gaze swept up to meet her blue eyes. Seeing him like that, his mouth on her, his eyelashes long as he looked up at her through them, Sarah's toes curled against Chuck's back in ecstasy. It was just so sexy. He was so sexy. This was the hottest thing she'd ever experienced in her life.
Holding on even tighter, she began to rock her hips into him. She felt him smile, and then his arms thrusted around her body, yanking her into his mouth even tighter, before he really let her feel every bit of his mouth.
Her eyes crossed as he went to town, eating her out with a voraciousness that made every part of her quiver in pleasure. She cursed again, his name on her lips, high-pitched and tinged with awe. She wanted him so badly. She was so close.
"Yes!" she whimpered. "Please, Chuck…please. Let me…oh yeah, let me…"
His fingers began to jerk on her sensitive clit and he didn't stop, his mouth still moving skillfully against her sex, until she finally came.
Her voice was hoarse as she arched up from the bed in complete and utter ecstasy, lightning bolts rushing up and down her veins, filling her with a heady desire.
Sarah covered her face again, grinning dreamily as he kissed his way oh so gently back up her body.
And then she wrapped her arms around him with an intense lust that crackled and buzzed inside of her, a need that overtook everything else, and she threw their weight to the side, pinning him to the bed.
He looked up at her with wide eyes. "Is this YOUR answer?" he asked, a crooked grin on his face.
Sarah gave him the most seductive look she was capable of and shook her head. He hadn't seen anything yet. "Oh, Chuck… Trust me when I say you'll know my answer when you feel it."
She reached between them to find him, and with a smooth, graceful thrust down into his lap, she took him in. She felt him shudder with pleasure beneath her, his mouth opening in awe. She grabbed his hands and forced them up to the pillow on either side of his head, she clamped her grip onto his shoulders, and she rode him.
Sarah showed him her answer.
And they lost track of time completely.
There would be hurdles, but neither of them cared in those fervent, passionate moments, hands grappling for something to hold onto, lips meeting, hips joined.
+ —
He woke up alone, confused and alone.
And when he finally climbed out of bed, pulling a T-shirt on to go with his boxers, he sought her out in his condo, thinking she might be showering, or maybe she'd made herself at home in his kitchen.
But no.
She was gone.
Chuck looked at his phone to see if she'd texted him or called him, but she hadn't. And he found himself legitimately bereft, knowing he was being silly feeling that way.
It wasn't until after he showered off quickly, meaning to distract himself with breakfast and some video games or something, that he found the note on the nightstand.
She'd torn a piece of paper that was in her bag or something and one of his childish Bat-pens from his desk was sitting on top of it. She must've looked in his desk for something to write with and chose that, of all things.
He winced a little at how geeky the inside of his desk was. The things she must've seen in there. God.
His Plastic Man eraser set.
Shaking himself, he snatched the note up into his hand and read her messy, adorable scrawl, grinning to himself. "So so sorry I ditched. Got a call from agent. Early morning meeting with potential director. Didn't want to wake you. See you tonight. XO"
He couldn't be mad about it. Especially that last part about her seeing him tonight. So that hadn't just been a line she was feeding him because he was nibbling on her neck. Not that he thought she was the type of woman who fed people lines, but they'd been in the midst of a very heated, almost desperate moment, and he might've agreed to jump off a bridge if she'd asked him to right then. He imagined her agreeing to see him tonight was low-key compared to that.
Chuck couldn't help texting her, grabbing his phone again. "Hope you get the part if that's what it is! But I also hope you mean it about seeing me tonight too?"
He wavered before hitting send.
And then he did it and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast.
This was just the beginning of something that had the potential to be seriously meaningful and wonderful and everything. But he also knew that waking up alone this morning was what she was trying to warn him about.
It stung a little. And he was going to have to figure out how to get around it, to get used to it, not take it personally, and have it stop stinging. She was busy. He was busy.
They'd fall into bed together and one of them would wake up alone the next morning. And he had to be okay with that for this relationship to work.
Chuck Bartowski needed this woman. He needed Sarah Walker.
Everything about last night had felt massive. The sensations, the emotions.
But he knew he had a tendency to get carried away when he liked a woman this much, so he needed to take a step back and take some deep breaths. And he needed to keep it all to himself.
That would be hard. Because he wanted to talk to Morgan about Sarah. He wanted to vent about how good this was going to be but how it'd be hard too, he knew. Wanting so badly to walk on the beach holding hands, to go to the movies, to go out to a restaurant. But they couldn't do that. And he couldn't commiserate with Morgan, or even Ellie.
He'd already pulled Ellie up on his phone.
And he knew that was a testament to how hard keeping this from her would be. How quickly he'd pulled her up on his phone without even thinking about it. To talk to her. Ask for advice.
Even just telling his sister that he'd met someone truly amazing would make it all feel…he didn't know, more real? It would also ease her worries about his unhealthy dating life.
Ellie didn't outright say his dating life was unhealthy. But Chuck knew it was. It wasn't just that he didn't date much, especially lately, it was that when he DID date, it was unfulfilling, maybe a roll in the sheets after a date or two, and then it petered out.
Lou had been the closest he'd come since … in college. But that had failed too.
And he was sure Ellie wondered if he was still stuck on his college girlfriend and that was why his dating life was a failure.
He wanted to prove all of that wrong, not just to Ellie, but himself. And he wanted to make this work with Sarah. He was willing to sacrifice, he could move his schedule, he could keep her, this, a secret.
Whatever he had to do. He'd do it.
+ —
"Done."
"On my way now."
Sarah ducked around the end of the building and trotted across the street, looking both ways, before she cast her gaze down the street, waiting to spot the black car that would be her savior on this stupidly early morning mission.
She'd left Jeff Menken and his boardroom behind, relatively certain they hadn't seen past the prosthetic nose, dark brown contacts, black severe bob cut wig, and clothes that hung off of her in a way that disguised her figure. She wore flats and gave herself bad posture to try to make herself seem shorter too. And she affected a slight Ohio accent.
She was good at this part.
And now the CIA had a few bugs in the boardroom of Menken Optics, a front for what was seeming more and more likely as a criminal money laundering enterprise.
The car finally sped around the corner and gunned for her. But she realized belatedly that it wasn't a black car coming, and it wasn't being driven with the casual speed John Casey, agent with the NSA, typically drove around with during missions.
This was the kind of speed that wasn't meant to put the brakes to for any reason. And it was a dark blue car, headed straight for her.
"Shit!" she barked, and she dove into an alley just as it jumped the curb and flew towards her. It slammed hard into the wall, and while a piece of glass caught her arm she held up to protect her face, no other harm had come to her.
She plucked the glass out, grateful it was a shallow cut, and sprinted away from the man who woozily fell out of the front seat with a semi-automatic in hand.
The bullet cracked against the stone near her head right as she swung out of the alleyway into the next street over. Maybe they didn't know exactly who Giselle Durham was under all those prosthetics and the wig, but they knew she'd put bugs in their boardroom, and that they'd given her some info that was likely on its way either to one of their competitors, or to some federal agency.
Casey finally barreled down the street.
"Bout time!" she snapped as she ripped open the back door before he even came to a full stop, diving inside and slamming the door shut behind her.
Bullets pinged against the bullet proof glass of the window. She heard the loud clatter of it even as Casey sped away.
"The fuck happened?!" Casey barked. "I heard a crazy crash sound over the comms and saw people running so I figured I come 'round the other side," he said over his shoulder, even as he engaged in some dangerous but imperative driving to get them the hell out of there.
"Thanks!" she said, sincerely, ripping the wig off and checking to make sure there weren't any bullets in her she just couldn't feel yet because of the adrenaline.
"Yeah, no problem, but the question remains. What the fuck was that?!"
"I don't know! Everything was fine! I was walking to our meet-up, and suddenly this fucker comes barreling down the street, hops the curb to try to smash me up against the fuckin' deli back there, and crashes. I nearly avoided becoming road kill. But then he tumbled out from behind the wheel trying to shoot at me!"
"Was it them?"
"I don't know! How'd they get somebody to come after me like that in just a few minutes after I leave their boardroom? How'd they know I wasn't legit?"
"That mean the bugs are compromised?"
"I don't know. Only thing I know is that I haven't been smashed by a shitty Subaru, and I've got exactly zero bullets in me." She tore the prosthetic off of her nose and winced, her eyes watering. "This was so not worth climbing out of bed this morning," she mumbled then. It was more of a grumble really.
She'd been so comfortable when she heard her stupid fucking phone ring. They needed her for yet another mission, a short one, tying up some loose ends, Graham promised.
And as badly as she wanted to say no to him, she knew it had to do with Menken, and fuck that guy and his criminal enterprise. Stealing from kids with cancer? So she went back into Chuck's bedroom and stood there peering down at him, aching to get back under the covers and wrap herself up in him.
But she couldn't. So she scrambled for her clothes, put them on, tore a page off her notepad in her bag, and went to his desk for a pen. Snorting softly to herself, she snagged a pen with Batman's head on top of it and walked around to Chuck's side, writing a quick note to him, lying about a director, feeling like shit doing it, before she sped out of there.
Not before stealing one last look at him, though.
God, that was so good. And it had the potential to be the perfect escape for her. From everything. From the CIA, from the supermodel high life.
Her place she could go to for some normalcy. To be treated like a person. Like a WOMAN.
He was really good at bringing out the woman in her.
She grinned hard at the ceiling of his car.
"Wipe that sickening look off your damn face and get Graham on the line," Casey growled over his shoulder. "I think I got a tail I need to lose."
"What?" she snapped. She crawled back to the back window and peered through it from around the headrest. "Oh. Shit. The red Nissan?"
"The red Nissan. Call Graham."
She did, being quick about it.
30 minutes later, Casey had lost their tail and dropped Sarah in the private garage under her building outside of the downtown area. She knew where he was headed. Yet another car would be switched out for a different model, a different make, a different license plate. She was a little bummed. She'd had time to get used to this one now, and she'd barely had a chance to say goodbye to her.
It was after a long shower, one she spent half of actually giving herself the time to think about her night instead of fretting over the implications of her near death experience compounded by yet another near death experience that happened this morning.
Graham promised their agents on the ground would handle the clean-up, and that the bugs were still not compromised in spite of them trying to kill her outside of the building.
Seemed killing Giselle Durham had been Menken's plan the whole time. He'd been plotting it since their first meeting two years earlier.
For all intents and purposes, that alter ego was now dead. Graham said he'd see to that too. It would set Menken at ease. And they'd catch him red handed in his money laundering schemes.
But there was something else for her to think about, with implications that weren't quite so deadly perhaps. Though they were still a bit scary.
She was in deep with a man again.
And this time she'd asked him for something she hadn't asked of anyone else she'd gone out with or had sex with. She'd asked him to keep it all a secret. Only when she was standing under the jet of the shower did she realize he was the first one she'd asked that from.
Sarah was in denial about a lot of things, but she couldn't hide from what that meant. She didn't want paparazzi or anything else to ruin this. She didn't want tabloids or the worldwide press to ruin it.
She wanted this to work. And she was afraid of what this man might find out or discover about the bad parts of her existence that might make him realize how not worth it she was.
Sarah Walker was already afraid to lose Chuck Bartowski and they'd only been on one date in LA. Their…second first date.
The model and CIA agent knew beyond all doubt that there was a heaviness to her decision to ask him to keep them a secret. It meant this was deeper than she'd been prepared for.
But she just wanted him so badly it hurt.
There'd been a moment the night before when he'd had his mouth on her, and she'd looked down her body to meet his eyes as he looked up from between her legs. It was the most powerful moment of her life. Things had just clicked, both inside of her, and between them.
She had a very persuasive voice in her head, in her heart even, telling her to run far, far away from this. It would only hurt her. HE would only hurt her. He wasn't what she was used to. He wasn't anything close to the men she was comfortable with. The men she could have fun with, be breezy with, chill with, before flittering off again without anyone getting hurt in the process.
But she told that voice it was a liar. Because she had hurt. And she'd recovered.
The voice reminded her that getting in this deep, asking him to keep it a secret to protect the sanctity of their bond, to keep the bad parts of her life from him for as long as possible, was a pretty good indication that when this inevitably went south, it would hurt way worse than it had with the other models and actors she'd dated, the men she'd been plastered in tabloids with, lips locked, arms around them.
Nobody was catching her with her arms around Chuck Bartowski, CEO of Nerd Tech Inc. There wouldn't be any pictures of her kissing him. She would do it behind closed doors and nobody would know but them. That was how it would stay, and he'd stay here. With her.
She felt guilty as she climbed out of the shower to towel off. Because she was aware of the unfairness in all of this. In a lot of ways, this wouldn't be a regular relationship. And he seemed like he wanted one of those. So did she. But she wasn't a regular girl.
That was something she was going to have to pound home with him. In the end, he'd get to make that decision.
Whether he wanted this or not.
As weird and convoluted, and difficult, as it would be to be with her.
All she knew was that she wanted him. Not because he was "different from the other guys", but because he was him. It was an extra perk, intriguing, fascinating, and kept her on her toes, that he WAS different. But the person she'd only just started getting to know was fantastic all on his own, without needing to compare him to anyone else.
She finally checked her phone to see if Casey had any updates, and she realized a text had been sitting there for hours.
Shit. It was Chuck. She'd ignored him all day, too.
Her heart raced and she rolled her eyes at herself. God, she was seriously sunk.
"Hope you get the part if that's what it is! But I also hope you mean it about seeing me tonight too?"
The way he added that hopeful question mark at the end had her melting. She could hear it in his voice, the same voice he'd used when he'd asked her when he could see her again. Okay, maybe not that exact voice because there'd been an awful lot of lust in that voice too and she couldn't think in THAT direction at the moment.
He thought she'd met with a director for a part, then. And she decided to just go with that. "It was. Sounds like it won't work out."
Another lie. And that was what this was going to be, wasn't it? Lie on top of lie on top of lie.
She frowned, watching him type his response. When he finally sent it, her eyes went wide. "So no seeing you tonight then?"
She responded immediately, trying to dispel him of that. He'd taken that to apply to the wrong part of his text. "No, not that!" She sent it quickly and she typed again. "The role won't work out. It's fine except that I could've stayed in bed this morning." She sent a wink, smiling to herself. She wished she had stayed in bed. She wouldn't be icing her shoulder where she'd landed hard diving out of the way of the car that tried to run her over. Nor would she have a bandaid over the place where the glass had gotten stuck in her arm. Graham would be pretty miffed, and Casey would be downright pissed, but she would've been so cozy with Chuck and maybe it would've been worth it.
His response came in after a few long seconds. "Oh no! Is that director on crack?"
She laughed, surprised. "Ha! Cute. Actually, this one might be. But the expensive stuff, cocaine most likely." She sent a laugh emoji. "That isn't why I didn't get the part. I'm just not right for this one. Rejections happen in this biz. But is the offer still open for tonight?"
The lie deepened.
"It's so open," he responded quickly.
It was so fast she found herself grinning down at her phone. She was so ready to see him again. It hadn't felt good, leaving him asleep in bed this morning without properly thanking him for his hospitality and the…well, other things.
She sent a smiley. "Thank God. I've had my fill of all this stuff and need a break."
"Am I your break?"
That felt flirtatious, and it would've been easier to just flirt back. But she was tired and a little achy, in need of an aspirin and a drink. So she went for full honesty, to balance out all the lies maybe.
She sent, "You're my breath of fresh air."
And she waited, wondering if going THAT honest might be overdoing it.
"My place or yours?"
Sarah grinned hard, nibbling on her bottom lip thoughtfully. Was she going to do this, really? Again, she found herself thinking about the easiest option, the thing that would make this lighter, chill. When it fizzled out, when the heat and immediate attraction between them, the genuine warmth, cooled… he wouldn't know where she lived. A few of her exes had certain addresses, and NO ONE had certain other addresses. She didn't think anyone ever would have those addresses, not even the CIA. Not even Casey. She shouldn't give this guy her address. It'd be easier to just keep meeting at his place. She didn't know him well enough. How did she know he was trustworthy?
She went back to her phone.
"Can I send you my address?" She hit send and grumbled at herself. That went well. She added, "You have to be extra sneaky, though."
"Please send it! Should I wear a disguise?"
Sarah cracked up at how cute he was. He set her at ease immediately. She could trust this guy. …She really hoped she could trust this guy.
"Haha! Not sure you have to be THAT sneaky. Here's my address and I'll give you a time later?" She followed with her address. God, her address. This was an extra level of trust and she hoped he wasn't going to take this for granted. She hoped SHE didn't take this for granted.
"Sounds like a plan."
It was a plan.
She just wasn't sure how smart she was being with this PLAN of theirs.
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SarahsSupplyCloset
