40

Epilogue
Part 1

I wake up in the middle of the night.

Bella's not in bed.

Groggily, I throw my joggers on but stay shirtless, and I make my way down the hallway to find her in the nursery, rocking our son, Masen.

He's fussing.

She's crying.

I smile sadly.

"Bell."

"I don't know what he wants," she sobs. "I fed him. Changed him. Rocked him. Shushed him. He doesn't want the pacifier. I don't get it—I just don't understand."

"It's okay," I tell her gently, crouching by the glider and turning off the white noise machine.

"I suck at this."

"Baby, no. He's two weeks old. He doesn't know what he wants. It's okay."

Still, she cries.

She's just overwhelmed. Exhausted. I am, too, but not as much as she is. She's the one who has to feed him every couple of hours. Sometimes every hour. She's the one who can usually soothe him the best. I step in when I can, but I'm not sure how helpful it is.

"Go back to sleep. I'll take him for a bit," I tell her, reaching out for him.

"It's fine." She wipes her face, shaking her head, too proud.

"Please let me help," I whisper.

She inhales shakily. "Okay, maybe just for a little bit."

Gently, she hands over Masen, who is still shrieking. Laying him on the changing table, I undo his swaddle and check his diaper. This just pisses him off even more, his little fists now free and flailing.

"Oh, yeah? You wanna tell me all about it, huh?" I ask him.

He's dry, so I re-swaddle him. Bella's still there, in the glider, watching us.

"You swaddle him so much better than I do," she mumbles.

"No, I don't."

Still standing, I gently bounce him in my arms, patting his bottom. "Masen. Maseeeen," I say softly. "You're okay, buddy." I look at Bella. "Go to bed, please. It doesn't help if we're both sleep-deprived."

"Wake me when he's hungry," she says with a sigh. She kisses me and our son and leaves the room.

I settle into the glider and turn on the white noise machine again.

"Masen," I whisper, face close to his. "Little Bug. It's okay." I shush him, rock him, then reach over for his pacifier. It takes a little convincing, but soon enough, he sucks on it and falls asleep.

I keep rocking him, unsure of what to do. His crib is being used for storage right now, and I don't want to risk laying him down in the bassinet in our room and waking Bella.

So, I let him sleep on me, fighting the urge to doze myself.

I stare at his perfect little face. His head of dark hair. It's too hard to tell who he looks like yet, but I hope he looks like Bella. Hope he's compassionate and funny and strong like her, too.

Masen came into the world a week late, but he made up for his delay with quick labor. In fact, we barely fucking made it to the hospital. There wasn't any time for pain relief, and that made Bella panic even more. But I kept reminding her she could do it. She could. She was strong. Stronger and more amazing than I even fucking knew.

Ten minutes of pushing later, our son was being placed on her chest, both of us overwhelmed and crying happy tears.

Masen stirs, the pacifier falling out of his mouth now. Just like that he's awake, crying yet again. I undo his swaddle, so we're skin-to-skin. He roots around like he's looking for something to suck on.

"Looking for your Mom's boob, huh? I don't blame you," I whisper. "I like them, too."

I throw a onesie on him, and instead of waking Bella like she said I should, I move into the kitchen and warm a bottle of her breast milk.

Riley shuffles into the living room when I'm on the couch, feeding him.

"What are you doing up, Peanut?" It's four in the morning.

"Masen woke me with all his crying," she complains. "He's too loud."

"Sorry, baby. He's okay, just hungry."

She settles next to me on the couch and watches us, yawning.

"When will he be fun?" Riley asks, and I laugh softly.

"He's got a lot of growing to do. I promise you'll be able to play with him soon."

It's going to happen too fast, I bet. Life always does. It'll feel like a blink before he's sitting up, crawling, walking. Then he'll be starting kindergarten, and Riley will be a middle schooler. Just a handful of years later, she'll be driving. Then there's college for her when Masen's officially a teenager.

I make my thoughts slow down, rewind time, and let myself stay present at this moment on the couch with both of my babies still little.

=.=.=.=

When I wake up later, I'm in Riley's bed.

I got Masen down in his bassinet shortly after Riley woke, then I laid down with her to try to get her back to sleep.

She's not here now, and I'm unsure what time it is, but it's lighter outside.

I walk into the kitchen to find Riley and Bella sitting at the table. Riley's having breakfast, and Bella's having coffee, with Masen snuggled in a wrap against her chest. The clock above the stove says it's just after seven.

"Morning," I say, scrubbing a hand through my hair.

I kiss Bell, then the top of Mase's little head. I peek at him—he's awake but content.

"Looking pretty comfy there, Bug," I say to him.

"You looked comfy and cute in Riley's bed, so I didn't want to wake you," Bella says, seemingly in a better mood.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, searching her face.

"Great. It's amazing, and kind of sad, how four hours of uninterrupted sleep can make you feel slightly human again," she says with a smirk, drinking her coffee. "You didn't wake me to feed him, though, and I woke up with rock-hard boobs."

I move toward the cabinet to grab a mug. "Yeah, sorry. I bottle-fed him so you could sleep a little more."

"Don't be sorry." She stands and presses a sweet kiss to my bare shoulder. "Thank you for taking over last night."

"Don't thank me," I say softly, squeezing the back of her neck. "Just doing my job."

She smiles. "Do you mind stopping at the store on your way back from dropping Riley off at school? We need a few things before my parents get here later today."

Now that harvest is over, Bella's parents are finally making the trip to Seattle to meet their grandson. My folks are coming over here tonight, too, so we can all have dinner. It will be the first time our parents officially meet, other than seeing each other over FaceTime at our wedding.

"Yeah, just text me a list," I tell her. "Finish up, Ri, we gotta go soon."

"Why can't I take the bus to school?" Riley asks, eating another spoonful of Cheerios. "Some of my friends do."

"It's too far from where we live," I tell her. She still goes to the only school she's ever attended, the one that's by Chelsea's place.

Since the house just sold last week, though, I'm hoping Ri can finish out the year there, but I'm unsure which school she'll go to next year.

Back in June, when Chelsea mentioned she wanted to talk to Bella and me, I had no idea she was going to apologize for… everything. For cheating on me. For her manipulation. She apologized to both Bella and me for the night she tried to kiss me, too. She said she was deeply sorry and embarrassed by her actions, and she understood if we weren't able to forgive her, but she wanted to say her piece.

Bella and I just nodded, taking it all in.

After a beat of silence, Chelsea said she'd been thinking about it, and she wanted to sell the house. Apparently, after going through intensive therapy and working on her issues, she decided that living in the space that held so many memories, including where her mom passed away, wasn't helpful for her. She needed a fresh start in order to move forward. I was shocked she wanted to sell, but I was completely on board with the idea since we'd be splitting the money after we paid off the remaining mortgage.

The other thing Chelsea did that shocked me was hand over a check for nearly twenty-thousand dollars. She explained that she'd received life insurance money after her mother's death, and she decided to use some of it to pay me back for her share of the mortgage that I'd been covering for her.

I just stared in disbelief at the check. I could barely fathom that Chelsea would do anything like that. From Bella's expression, I assumed she was feeling the same as I was.

After the shock wore off, I told Chelsea I hadn't expected her to pay me back. I almost refused it, feeling like it was too much, but she said it was the very least she could do. I heard what she didn't say—that maybe she was paying me back to ease some of her guilt for the way things had been between us.

I accepted the check with gratitude and deposited it the very next day, appreciating the rare generosity and the financial breathing room she afforded Bella and me.

=.=.=.=

"He's an angel. Just darling."

It's gotta be the tenth time Renee has said this since she and Charlie arrived hours ago.

She's not wrong, though.

Everything about my little guy is perfect.

My mom's on the couch next to her, both of them gazing down at Masen and gushing over him while he sleeps soundly. Riley's got my dad and Charlie sitting around the coffee table doing fuse beads with her.

"And then after you finish, Bella will put wax paper over it and iron it, and it melts together and voila," Riley tells them, and we all laugh.

"Voila," my dad echoes, smirking.

I was worried that Riley might feel left out with extra attention on her brother, but thankfully, she seems to be adjusting okay.

Our folks seem to be getting along well, too. Both of our families are pretty no-nonsense and down to earth, so I wasn't actually worried. But you never know, just like we didn't know that Bella's parents were going to be wary instead of excited when they first heard about our engagement and the baby.

"I'm gonna throw the steak on the grill," I say, standing.

"Honey, let your dad do it," my mom says, not looking away from Masen. "Just rest."

"All good. I got it."

"I'll go with you," Bella says.

"It's okay. I'll help him," Charlie offers, crouching next to Ri. "Is it okay if we take a little break, so I can help your Dad?"

She nods. "Sure, I can save it for you."

He smiles and stands. "Thanks, kiddo."

Bella and I exchange a brief look.

I'm not stupid. I know his offering to help is going to be paired with some kind of speech or warning. That's fine—I can take it. I think I've proved by now that I love his daughter and will do right by her, but I'll let him say whatever he needs to get off his chest, and we'll move on.

"Great, thanks," I tell him, and we pop into the kitchen to grab the steaks before heading to the backyard.

"So, how was the harvest?" I ask politely, opening the grill and putting the meat on the grate since I heated it up ten minutes ago.

"Had a few hiccups but otherwise good," he replies. "It's been busy, but I'm glad Renee and I could finally make it out."

I look at him, meaning it when I say, "Me too. I know Bella's happy you two could make it."

"How's having a newborn again?" he asks, tone slightly amused.

I chuckle. "It's been interesting. Some things feel like second nature. Others… yeah. It's been great, though. We're figuring it out together and Bella's been amazing with both Masen and Riley," I murmur. I don't want to get too vulnerable, but I hope he knows just how special his daughter is to me. "I'm a lucky man."

"Wish I could take credit for how good she is, but that's all her mom, I think," he says seriously. "How long are you home for?"

"I'll probably go back to the job site in two or three weeks," I tell him. "Bella got sixteen weeks of paid leave through the state, and I got twelve."

"Wow. That's a lot of time off," he muses.

"Yeah, it's this new parental bonding leave the state started offering a couple of years ago." It's a great fucking perk that wasn't available when Riley was born. "We have a year to use the paid time, but Bell's taking all of it at once. I'll save some of mine, but I don't want to go back to work until I make sure she's ready to be on her own during the day. My mom offered to come by every now and then and help her, too."

Charlie nods in appreciation. "Are you still at the job site? Bella said you got licensed as a contractor a while back."

"Yeah. I've been doing stuff on the side in addition to working for the same company I've been with for ages. I want to start my own business, but that's further down the road." I wonder if he's worried about whether or not we're set, and I want to put him at ease. "Money's good, though. Real good."

"I'll bet. Well, I got a buddy who started his own construction company a while back, so if you need any help or insight I can put you two in touch."

"That'd be great, thanks."

My dad and Riley come outside then to set the patio table. It's not until we're alone again, and I'm flipping the steaks that Charlie speaks.

"So, I wanted to clear the air and let you know that Renee and I being concerned about… all of this… had nothing to do with you personally," he admits.

"I understood the concern," I reassure him. "It all happened fast."

"Bella's always been a wild card. Independent. She taught herself how to ride a bike. Insisted on walking herself into the school for her first day of second grade, leaving her mom blubbering in the car. She moved here on her own at nineteen," he recalls with a faint smile. "She's self-sufficient, but she's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's loyal. Despite all of those strong qualities, I've always worried about her because as a parent, it's just what you do."

"Yeah," I agree, understanding. I don't think I'll ever not worry about Mase and Ri.

He waits for a beat, glances toward the house then looks back at me. "After seeing you two today, seeing the way you care for her and your kids, I don't think I need to worry about her anymore. Let me tell you, son, that's a good feeling."

I know I shouldn't be surprised by what he's saying because he's merely stating the truth. Yeah, I fucking love Bella, and I love our family. I'd do anything for them—anything. But hearing that he recognizes this and is basically giving me his approval just… yeah. It feels good, and I'm grateful.

Holding his gaze, I swallow and say, "I promise they'll always be in good hands."

"I know they will." He claps me on the back. "And I appreciate it more than you know."

=.=.=.=

With our families gone and both kids sleeping, Bella and I lounge in the backyard. The sun set an hour ago, the lights strung above us dim and warm. I'm finishing a beer. She had half of one with dinner then gave the rest to me. Soft music sounds from my phone, and she turns it up. I appreciate our alone time, knowing Masen will be up soon to eat yet again.

"What do you wanna do tomorrow?" she asks.

I yawn. "Nothing?"

"We can't just do nothing. My parents are here."

I sip my beer. "They came here to help us, not for us to entertain them," I remind her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She smiles softly. "Riley was so sweet tonight, wanting to help bathe her brother," Bella says, glancing at the baby monitor on the patio table.

"Yeah, she was. When I was putting her to bed, she said that maybe we should sing the goodnight song to Masen, to help him sleep through the night."

Affection for our girl flashes over Bella's face. "Gah. I love her."

"She's a good kid."

"She's the best."

Even if we get to spend some time alone, it never fails that the conversation always veers back to the kids, and I love that. I love recapping our day, talking about every cute thing Riley said and every sweet sound Masen made. But I also want to focus on my wife, so I reach over and pull her legs into my lap.

She hums softly, my fingers massaging her foot.

"Your birthday is in a couple of days," I remind her.

"Ugh. Twenty-six. So old."

I laugh, shaking my head. "Don't start, woman." I grab her other foot, my thumbs pressing into her arch. "What do you want to do to celebrate?"

I already have plans for our friends to come over and surprise her on Sunday. It'll be pretty lowkey because of Masen, but I thought it'd be nice for her to see everyone for a bit.

"I don't know. But I was thinking of maybe getting another tattoo," she says absently. Her fingers run over the delicate ink on the inside of her wrist—the outline of four small birds. "Was thinking of maybe getting the same thing, but on my shoulder? To represent our family. You, me, Riley and Masen."

I raise my brows, loving this idea. "Yeah?"

"And if we ever have another baby… I can always add another one," she says, watching my face.

I laugh. "Are you already thinking of having more?"

"No. Definitely not," she says instantly. "But if it happens someday, I'm not opposed to more."

"Neither am I," I say honestly.

"Maybe we can celebrate my birthday tomorrow since Riley will be with Chelsea this weekend," Bella suggests, and I love how she always takes Ri into consideration.

On Sunday, Riley will be gone for a week to stay with Chelsea. It was mid-July when Chelsea was in a healthy enough place for Ri to start staying with her again half of the time. I thought it would be a weird adjustment, but Riley surprised us all when she quickly got back into the routine. I think that had more to do with Chelsea's progress, though. After taking time to work on her own issues, she was more attentive to Riley. Happier. Present and more patient. I think Riley could tell she was different, so being around her again wasn't an issue.

As much as we missed having Riley around all the time, I know Bella and I appreciated the occasional time just for us before Masen arrived.

"Have you thought about where you want to move?" Bella wonders.

"It'd be nice to stay in this area, but I'm open to whatever," I say honestly.

When we got the call last week that the house sold for over asking price, we were shocked. The couple buying it was more interested in the bones of the house. Apparently, in this market, renovating is cheaper than buying a house that's move-in ready. After the remaining mortgage is paid, whatever Chelsea and I split will be more than enough for a decent down payment. Our current lease here is up in six months, so Bella and I finally can buy a house of our own.

"I wonder where Chelsea's gonna move," Bella says absently. "Did she say?"

"When I saw her last week, she said she was hoping to find an apartment in that same area of town, so Riley can stay at the same school. But she's still so young, if she has to change schools, it's fine."

Masen stirs on the screen, and we both freeze. Thankfully, he resettles and stays asleep. Bella pulls her legs away and gets up to sit in my lap instead.

"You know…" she starts to say, fingers playing with the back of my hair.

I kiss her shoulder. "Hm?"

"I hope you know that me being hormonal and having minor meltdowns and feeling like… like I don't know what I'm doing with our baby is just—" She pauses. "It doesn't mean anything bad."

I search her face and see genuine worry there. "Baby, I know."

"Okay." She sighs. "I was just worried you'd think I regretted our life or something, and that's not the case at fucking all," she reassures me.

I tuck some hair behind her ear, kissing her. "I never thought that. Not once. I know there's a lot going on, and we're still adjusting to shit. It's hard, but it's good. And it'll only get better. Easier."

She nods, curling against me and resting her head on my chest. With my arms around her, I palm her thigh, squeezing.

"So, what did you and my dad talk about?" she asks after a minute of relaxed silence.

"Just work. He said he knows a guy who started his own business and can connect me."

"That's great. What else did he have to say?"

"Not a lot."

Lifting her head, she looks at me skeptically. "You two were talking for a while."

"Yeah."

She relents. "Have your secret chats with my dad, that's fine. It's even kind of cute."

I smirk. "Nothing secret. He just thanked me for taking care of you. He said he doesn't have to worry about you anymore."

Her face crumples a little. "He's such a softie," Bella laughs, wiping her eyes. "Kind of like you."

With my mouth by her ear, I whisper, "There's nothing soft about me, woman."

I kiss the spot below her ear then lightly bite at her neck. Her tender laugh turns into a moan as I kiss my way to her mouth.

"I miss this," she says quietly. "Being intimate. I miss you being inside of me and hot, lazy morning sex, and—"

I groan. "Yeah, me too." I try to keep my mind blank, not wanting to get a fucking hard-on, knowing we can't do anything about it. I'm sure she'd offer to take care of it with her mouth, like she did the other morning, but I'd just refuse again. Until I can return the favor, jerking off in the shower is good enough for me.

"Four more weeks until I'm in the clear," she says playfully.

"Three weeks and five days," I correct, and we laugh.

"Not that you're counting down the minutes or anything, huh?" she teases.

I grin. "Got that date marked in my fucking calendar."

She smiles, and she's so fucking pretty. "We should make it a real date night, though. Have your mom stay a few hours with Masen. Go out, just you and me."

"I'd like that," I muse. "Once everything gets squared away, and we get the money from the sale, we should use some of it to have a real wedding."

She gives me a long look. "I don't know what fake wedding you were a part of."

"You know what I mean."

"Our wedding was real to me, Edward. And perfect."

"But you don't want… more?"

"No. I never envisioned my wedding as a little girl. Wasting thousands of dollars on a party isn't my idea of fun," she says simply. "I love how we promised forever. That felt like us. That's all that matters."

"But—"

"Shut up and listen to your wife, old man," she says lightly, smirking. "I'd rather use that money to move forward. For our family. To get us settled in a house we own. To help you start your own business."

"Okay," I agree, loving everything she's saying. "I just want to make sure you have everything you want, Bell."

Masen's cry sounds through the speaker of the monitor, interrupting us.

"I do have everything I want," she murmurs after a second. "I have more than I ever imagined I could. More than I need. So, stop worrying about that. I love our life, and I love your stubborn ass."

I laugh. "You're just as stubborn as me, woman."

"Am not," she refutes with a smirk.

She kisses me then stands to get Mase. I tug on her hand, pulling her back for one more kiss, and I deepen it.

When Bella appears on the monitor to pick up our son less than a minute later, I watch them together. How she quietly shushes him, trying to calm and soothe. He responds to her, immediately settling.

It's a reminder of what she did for me over a year ago when she came into my life, too.

She made everything better, and she showed me what I was missing. How good it can feel to be taken care of and respected and loved.

Grabbing the monitor and my beer, I move inside. As I lock up the house, I replay Bella's words about having everything she needs, nothing more. They resonate with me because it's exactly the same way I feel about this life we've worked so hard to build together.