Dreaming Through Regret
Chapter 1 - Standing in a Nice Dress
Ice swirled slowly around the bottom of her glass. She had nursed that drink all night, waiting, while fervently hoping for her wish to be granted. Annie had ordered an ice cold Sazerac hours ago after returning to The Parchment following the chaotic finale to Eyal's off book op. It was minutes from closing time and, despite reminding herself countless times that the likelihood of Eyal returning to the bar were slim, the regret had coalesced into a heavy pit in her stomach.
'How could I have been so reckless?' Annie asked herself again. 'He could have been killed all because I zip tied him to the bed and then left him alone. ALONE!' Her recriminations had rebounded around inside her head ever since she watched Fouad Saeed enter the hotel.
Annie picked up her black beaded clutch and gracefully slid out of the bar stool she had been perched on for the evening. She caught the bartender's eye and signaled that she would like to close out. After paying for her solitary Sazerac and leaving a sizable tip, she walked slowly to the exit and retrieved her red trench coat. She laughed slightly to herself as she remembered purchasing this particular item in Paris, which was the last time she had crossed paths with Eyal. It was an impulse purchase, but the red of the trench coat matched the soles of her trademark Louboutin heels, and she could not pass it up. She could only imagine what Eyal's reaction to that particular purchase would have been.
As she drew the trench coat over her arms, hiding the little black dress she wore, Annie let one last sigh escape. 'At least I know he is alive and well, or as well as one can be after being shot.' she thought as her breath hitched again slightly as she recalled finding him on the roof after taking down the Cardinal. She had never seen him so vulnerable, so tired. It made her wonder at the life she had chosen for herself before shaking her head and asking the valet to call her a cab.
The valet let her know that it would be a quarter hour before a cab would arrive due to how late it was. After thanking him, Annie drifted off into thought.
'Who would have thought that the man who almost killed me the first time we met in Zurich would become one of the most important people in my life. One of the few people I can share my experiences with, and truly the only person I trust to have my back in the field.'
Annie played carelessly with the belt of trench coat while the minutes passed slowly by. As her thoughts continued to swirl around her head, she began pacing slowly in front of the doors to the bar. She let the images of the wait staff and bartenders closing down the bar distract her from the slight chill in the air. She let the constant awareness required of a spy drop from her stance as the methodical hum of unintelligible voices from within the bar washed over her. For the first time since she started at the agency she completely relaxed. Annie, relaxed and distracted, failed to notice a single black sedan roll up to the valet stand. It wasn't the standard yellow cab she was waiting on so she let the sound of the engine pass by without investigating it.
Minutes tick by as Annie continues to replay the evening repeatedly in her head. Minutes spent analyzing all the angles, rifling through the alternate choices she could have made, but not coming any closer to a resolution that would alleviate her guilt. The reflection of a yellow cab catches her attention in the window and she withdraws from her thoughts. Annie quickly turns around to head to her cab when she runs into another person. Assuming that it was the valet attendant, Annie offered a quick apology and made to step around them.
"I don't even warrant a hello Neshama?" asked a warm male voice, causing Annie's head to snap up. "After our adventure of an evening, you are just willing to walk right by me?"
"Eyal…" Annie whispered softly, "I thought you would be on your way back to Israel by now."
"Did you really? If that is true, then why are you here Neshama?" Eyal countered quickly.
"Honestly, wishful thinking." Annie replied with a slight smile on her face. "What can I say, I hoped that a replay of your earlier escape from the FBI would occur. I was starting to lose faith in your abilities."
Eyal took a moment to look Annie over, taking her in from head to toe. She looked strikingly elegant in her black dress and sky high heels. Quite different from earlier in the day when they were planning meets and out running bombs and while not as much a departure from her outfit just hours ago, it made her look more feminine and fragile than he had seen her before. Her appearance suddenly made him all the more aware of the state of his dress shirt and eager to get up to his room to get cleaned up and changed.
Eyal looked down at Annie, still shorter than him despite the heels she wore. "Are you heading home or would you care to join me? I'd really like to clean up and get out of this mess of a shirt."
Eyal found himself surprisingly hopeful that Annie would decide to stay with him. He wondered at how attached he had become to the blonde women standing before him. Eyal had spent so long avoiding connections, avoiding relationships, knowing that they only complicated matters, and yet, somehow Annie had worked her way into his mind and his heart.
Annie looked up at Eyal, trying to read his mind. Did he really want her to stay? Was he angry at the stunt she had pulled? She couldn't find anger anywhere in his eyes, cloaked hope yes, but somehow no anger. She was confused at that, and that made her hesitate in giving an answer. Finally, she looked at this tall, handsome, confident man and responded, "If you'll have me I'll stay."
