A/N: Progressing towards our M rating.
"I can't say I know what that was…" Chloe said, genuinely confused.
Why would they teach that in Finishing School, you idiot. Beca thought, as she climbed the stairs to meet Chloe on the upper deck. But in reality, it relieved the smaller girl. Dodged a bullet there, Mitchell. You might still be in the game. Well, if there's a game here to be played.
"It was–" How could she still have any cool points? Think Mitchell! Think!
"You know what? I don't know. I think I had a small stroke." Beca shrugged, putting her free hand in her pocket as she carried her sketchbook in the other, walking up and meeting Chloe at the top.
"Oh my, are you all right?!" Chloe said loudly.
"Yeah. You just look beautiful this morning. It was hard to process so quickly."
Beca saw the taller woman blush ever so slightly.
Crushed it.
"Oh, my. Well. This is just a silly day dress." Chloe looked down at her outfit. She was nervous–why was she nervous? Another woman acknowledged her appearance. That happens between girls, enjoying fashion. It was culture. "B-but thank you, that's very kind of you."
Beca nodded sheepishly. They were now together on the same deck.
Cue the awkward silence. Beca shifted on her feet and cleared her throat.
"Well, here I am. What did you want to talk about?"
Chloe came back to, and shook her head. She started walking, taking the slow lead, intending for Beca to walk alongside her. They both began taking a slow stroll around the deck.
"Where. Um. Where did you come from?" Chloe asked awkwardly.
"What?" Beca laughed.
"I mean. How did you…um."
Chloe was so intrigued by this woman, how she was suddenly there, saying all of these things, and essentially helping her through a terrible night. She wanted to know things about Beca.
"Where are you from, I mean." Chloe settled.
Beca watched her as they walked together. She could tell there were so many things in Chloe's head–things that she forced back inside her. She was guarded, and unsure how to act…appropriately. While she studied her, there was a long beat.
"Miss Mitchell?" Chloe said, breaking the silence.
"-It's Beca. Please. Just Beca."
"All right, just Beca." Chloe nodded, smiling bashfully to herself.
"Wow, well! Wisconsin. Like I mentioned a little about last night. With my folks. No brothers or sisters. Just me."
Chloe remembered her mentioning that she was good with playing with herself–BY HERSELF. By herself. Ahem.
"I've been on my own since I was 15. Since my folks died."
Chloe gasped and looked at her. Beca smiled sweetly in return.
"It's all right." She nodded at Chloe. They continued their walk. "With no real family, kin, etc. in that part of the country–I lit on outta there. Haven't been back since."
"Where do you stay…where have you been living then?"
"Well, that's the thing. I guess you can call me a 'tumbleweed blowing in the wind.' Beca chuckled. Chloe smiled at her, curiously.
They continued their conversation–mostly Chloe slowly asking questions about Beca's growing up. Her travels. Her thoughts on the weather today. Chloe herself seemed timid, and guarded. Beca never wanted to push, or ask too many questions for her. She knew this woman was working through a great deal. She wanted to respect the distance. After a while, however, Beca's curiosity got the better of her. She turned her head and looked at Chloe, who was holding her hands together looking down.
"Well. Chloe. We've walked about a mile around this ship deck, and we have chewed over so many things about me and what not. But for some reason, I reckon that's not why you wanted to talk to me…is it?"
Chloe was caught. She paused. They stopped walking for a moment. After a few beats, she turned to face Beca. Beca dug in her heels, grabbing hold of a nearby rope with her free hand, looking back at Chloe.
"Miss Mitchell."
"Beca, remember?"
"Sorry…force of habit. Beca." Chloe shook her head smiling.
She drew in a breath. "Beca. I want to thank you for what you did. For pulling me back. But also your discretion."
"You're welcome."
"Look I know what you must be thinking…Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery?"
Beca paused, tilting her head. That broke her heart.
"N-no. That's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was…what happened to this girl to make her think she had no way out?" Beca stared at Chloe with gentle concern.
Chloe was surprised by her comment. She didn't think that would ever be said. She tousled on her feet for a moment. Could she trust Beca? She hadn't spoken about anything to anyone. Can she afford this? Would Beca care? Maybe she would. Actually, what the hell? She felt her words coming up through her chest with urgency. Like word vomit.
"Well it was everything, just everything. It still is!" Chloe rushed out, walking to the railing of the deck. Beca watched her.
"Everything and everyone in it. The same mindless chatter. The same mindless rules. And the inertia of my life–bellowing forward with me, powerless to stop it!"
Chloe held out her left hand, showing her engagement ring to Beca.
"God…you would have gone straight to the bottom of the ocean last night. That thing is bright, get it away from me!" Beca smirked, letting out a small, kind laugh.
Chloe bit her lip and rolled her eyes.
"500 invitations have gone out. All of Philadelphia Society will be there. And all the while I feel like I'm stranded in a crowded room–screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up!" Chloe took a breath, eyes tearing up.
"-Do you love him?" Beca asked instantly. Matter-of-factly.
Chloe gawked at her. She took a pause.
"Pardon me?"
"Do you love him?"
"Well you're being very rude…"
"Ah come on, it's a simple question. Do you love the guy or not?"
Chloe scoffed. "This is absurd!"
"Why can't you just answer the question?" Beca smiled, bringing her hand above her eyes to block the sun.
"This is not a suitable conversation! I don't know you and you don't know me and we are not having this discussion! At all. You are rude, and presumptuous, and…strange!" Chloe moved forward to suggest leaving momentarily. She reached out her hand to shake Beca's. Beca took it and began shaking her hand dramatically.
"I sought you out to thank you, and that's what I've done. So Beca, Miss Mitchell, it has been a pleasure. I am leaving now."
Beca didn't let go of her hand, shaking her hand faster as Chloe's frustration built. Beca continued smirking.
"-You forgot to add that you insulted me." Beca quipped.
Pause.
"Well. Well you deserved it!" Chloe stared at Beca confused, but trying to come off making her point. They continued shaking hands–it looked ridiculous.
"I thought you were leaving, Chloe." Beca snarked.
"Oh! I am!" Chloe let go of the brunette's hand and turned to walk away. She didn't get far. She turned around again.
"You are so annoying!"
"Haha!" Beca said, sarcastically.
Chloe surged forward, beginning to pace in front of a stone cold Beca.
"Wait! This is my part of the ship! YOU leave!" Chloe countered, pointing in the distance in hopes of shooing Beca off.
Beca didn't budge. "Well well well, now who's being rude?" She crossed her arms, placing the sketchbook against her chest.
Chloe was flabbergasted. No one had ever annoyed her this much. She had to get the last word. She wasn't used to not getting what she wanted. Poor quality she knew, but it was simply the truth. She wasn't handling this well–and she needed to regain her status. There wasn't much else to say, though. That was the problem. Instead, she took her attention to Beca's leather book. She snatched it from Beca's grasp, like an angry 10 year old.
"What is this stupid thing you're carrying around, huh?" Beca just watched her, amused.
Chloe opened it–and shocked herself. She was face to face with a woman laying naked on a bed. And by naked, she was naked. No decency. No cover. She was even splayed out–showing off her most intimate parts. Chloe snapped the book shut with a gasp, looking around to see if someone saw her. She looked up at Beca with wide-eyes. Beca, on the other hand, was giving her best poker face. She said nothing. Just smirked that goddamn smirk of hers. She dug her hands in her pockets.
Chloe, scared to reopen–took a seat on the closest lounge chair on the deck. She looked at the worn brown leather as curiosity began to build slowly. She took a steady breath, looked around again–making Beca chuckle–and slowly opened the sketchbook again. She peeked in, with one eye open.
The image didn't change. This woman was spread out for whomever. She also did that trick where her eyes followed you. She was looking up at Chloe right now. As she opened the book wider, and her other eye, she felt funny. Kind of like slow water rushing over her. She felt a bit more confident now, too. Beca's eyes never left her, and she could feel them boring into her.
"S-so. What are you? An artist or something?"
She flipped through the next pages. More naked women. Different positions. Different facial longings. As she flipped through, she felt as if she were looking at a dirty magazine in secret. She was…excited. It was thrilling. All of these upperclassmen passed them, and had no idea what her eyes were raking over. She smiled to herself–and Beca didn't miss that for a second. It flipped her stomach.
Chloe then got into other works–clothed people, in intimate moments of their lives. It seemed like Beca captured all kinds of people with her dark charcoal–which Chloe made fun of her for, saying she looked so dirty, not even washing her face. Beca slapped her hand to her head and rubbed it off vigorously while turned around. Beca really made Chloe laugh.
"Beca…" She said, somewhat lost in her thoughts. "This is exquisite work…"
Beca moved forward, sitting down beside Chloe, taking a look alongside her.
"Ahhh, they didn't think so in ole Paris."
"Paris? …You do get around. For a poo–" Chloe put her hand over her mouth. "I m-mean. A p-person with limited means–"
"-A poor girl, you can say it." Beca laughed heartily.
Chloe looked back down to the next pages. She found another naked woman. Only this time, she was used consistently. Over and over. Her breasts, her pussy, her longing looks. Chloe felt a bit angry. What is going on right now? Chloe swallowed whatever that was, and raised an eyebrow.
"Well, well, well." She paused. She then considered the fact that Beca drew these. They were so intimate. They couldn't have been a sort of creation from that…from that grand imagination she spoke about. Could they? No…she must have been with these women…
"And…these were drawn…from life?" Chloe lingered.
Beca nodded, watching Chloe have her internal meltdown. It was the cutest thing she had ever seen. She was so…innocent. But you could tell she was curious. Genuinely. Beca's heart was just a'growin'.
A man walked by rather close. Chloe closed the book, holding a finger inside to keep her place. Beca spoke up to calm her nerves while he walked away.
"Well, you know, that's the good thing about Paris. Lot's of girls are willing to take their clothes off." She smirked.
Chloe watched her, intrigue dripping from her.
It was then that Chloe's (though she didn't know it) that Chloe's jealousy was coming back.
"You like this woman. You've used her several times…"
Beca flipped to the next page, the same woman with her arms over her head, and her face much closer. Her nipples are so prominent. Erect. Was she this close to Beca? Chloe thought about Beca being in these rooms with these women, naked and vulnerable. Stretched out…for her. Beca's eyes, studying their bodies–watching. Absorbing.
Chloe felt warmth pooling between her legs. She crossed them awkwardly after a moment. She's never experienced such a feeling before. Was she getting ill?
"I think…I think you must have had a love affair with her…" Chloe said boldy. Quietly. She bit her lip. She also didn't dare look at Beca.
Beca gasped internally. Chloe was being rather bold now. Finally, she had to keep her composure. Show her that this was okay. Questions were okay.
"Well, not really. I think I had an affair with her hands. They were beautiful, don't you see?"
"I'm still not convinced." Chloe quipped.
"Well…she was a one-legged prostitute. See?" Beca flipped the next page.
Chloe twisted her head and took the image in. "O-ohhh…"
Beca laughed kindly. "Yeah, it didn't work out. She had a lovely sense of humor though…"
Chloe looked up at Beca. That melted her heart. It was then that Beca took hold of her sketches. She flipped through to find a specific one in mind.
"And this lady. She used to dress up in every piece of jewelry she owned…she would sit at this bar every night just…just waiting for her long lost love. They called her, Madam Bijoux. See how her clothes are all moth-eaten?" Beca smiled down at the page.
Chloe was admittedly watching Beca, not the drawing. She took a few breaths.
"Well. Beca. You have a gift…you do. You…see people."
"-I see you." Beca said, looking directly in Chloe's eyes.
After a moment, Chloe straightened up and presented her profile to Beca dramatically.
"And?" She asked, smiling and closing her eyes.
Beca watched her little show. It was endearing. She also knew she needed to be serious at this moment.
"You wouldn't have jumped." Beca said quietly.
Chloe opened her eyes–her face sobering. She turned to Beca and looked at her deeply.
What if Beca's eyes were on me, like those French girls…"
