Shutup
"That was bloody brilliant!" John exclaimed as Sherlock solves yet another case within five minutes of being at a crime scene.
"You do know that you are still doing that out loud. The average human being would have figured out how to keep that kind of comment in their head by now." Sherlock muttered, to be quite honest John wasn't the only one who was being slow and Sherlock still couldn't figure out how not to get flustered when then blonde complimented him. Sure he'd worked out how to hide it a bit better but the feeling was still there and it didn't seem like it was going away any time soon. Damn it, feelings really are a chemical defect he thought as he desperately tried to get on with what he was doing.
That's when the idea hit him. He was going to get his revenge. He was going to figure out how to get John as flustered as John had been making him for the past year.
But how was he supposed to do that? John rarely got flustered, even around his so called girlfriends. To be fair the so called girlfriends didn't seem to do much to John, come to think of it women didn't seem to do anything to John, the man seemed to date more to prove the point that he was straight (which Sherlock could tell he clearly wasn't- no straight person spends so much time trying to convince everyone that they aren't gay and yet still acts so clearly attracted to men).
The only thing that really gets John embarrassed is when people assume that him and Sherlock are dating, that's when he gets really defensive- as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be or as if his secret had been finally found out. There was at least a 25% chance that John did have romantic feelings for Sherlock, but until now the detective had never seen any practical use for that piece of information and yet seemed unable to delete it.
To be fair, he was unable to delete a lot of otherwise useless pieces of information about John, he had tried multiple times but there was some form of mental block in place that stopped it from happening and ensured that John had a pretty much permanent residence inside Sherlock's head. He did his best to ignore it but at times like this, when John actively went out of his way to point out that instead of a freak Sherlock was 'brilliant' ignorance was impossible. That wasn't really Sherlock's fault though, that probably had something to do with feelings or whatever. But if that's what feelings did to him and he was good at keeping his emotions in check, what would they do to someone normal?
That was it. Sherlock was going to make it very obvious that he liked John's company and wanted to stay in that company. He was going to compliment John, he was going to tease him, he was going to flirt. He would work out exactly what it was that made the soldier get embarrassed and he was going to use that to his advantage.
Fuck solving crimes, solving John was a much more fun game to play.
Speaking of solving crimes he should really get going, Lestrade probably wouldn't want him to hang around the crime scene he shouldn't even be at for too long. "John we need to get going." Sherlock told his companion and then promptly exited the building, with a dramatic swoosh of his coat just to piss of Anderson who had been glaring at him the whole time.
Once they were outside, the detective made sure that his friend was trailing somewhere behind him and made his way to the nearest main road, where he hailed a taxi. He had decided that he was going to start his game when they got home because that was the one place where most of the variables were consistent or in Sherlock's direct control- and he could enjoy John's reaction all to himself.
The whole journey home has been very quite because John was too busy processing the crime scene and the explanation for crime that Sherlock had provided. On the other hand, Sherlock had been trying to come up with things to say to John but after a while had got frustrated at how blank his mind seemed to have gone so sort of ended up giving up. He knew how to get John flustered but what he had to say would be very dependent on the situation or the environment they were in. The goal was to embarrass John but ensure that the
man did not hate him in the process and as a bonus he would get to confirm whether or not the soldier had feelings for him.
"Wow. That case was amazing. I don't think I could ever get bored of watching you do that." John told the detective as they finally made their way into 221B Baker Street.
"Thank you, John." Sherlock started as he hung his coat up, "It seems to go a lot faster with you around."
"Shut up." John said as if Sherlock had said something offensive.
"It's true though. My brain seems to go a lot faster with you around. Also, that jumper looks very good on you it brings out the colour of your eyes." the detective explained as he gazed intently at his friend, waiting for a reaction.
"Shut up." John repeated, but this time there was a slight dusting of red on his cheeks and the tops of his ears, and the older man had tilted his head down a bit to hide his smile.
Sherlock couldn't help but smirk at his friend's reaction. This was going to be very fun.
"I'm going to go make some tea. Would you like me to make you a cup as well." John headed into the kitchen, having just about regained his composure.
"No thanks. Food and drink slows down the brain." Sherlock told him.
"Okay I'm going to ignore that and make you a tea anyways because you need to eat and drink to survive and I'm saying that as a friend not a doctor."
Sherlock shot John a glare in return for the comment and marched into the living room where he began to play his violin. He hated it when John forced him to eat and drink, his body was just transport, his mind was the important part and eating or drinking slowed it down so was therefore inherently counterproductive. He didn't care if it made him healthier or better or whatever, he just wanted to be able to think properly. But if john said he had to have a drink he would drink, he has given up arguing with the soldier a while ago- it took too long to persuade the stubborn man against forcing Sherlock to look after himself so he just went with it instead.
"Here you go." John placed down a mug of tea and a biscuit on the coffee table next to Sherlock's armchair, "What are you playing? It sounds nice?" the man asked as he took a sip of his tea.
"The violin solo from 'Erotica' by Beethoven." Sherlock said matter of factly.
"Shut... up" John spluttered mid coughs.
"That is what it is actually called. I can play you the whole thing if you want." Sherlock replied with a smile.
"No thanks. I am good." John's cheeks turned bright red again.
Things kept on going like this for the next couple of days. John seemed to turn bright red and say shut up whenever Sherlock said anything even vaguely interesting in that way- currently the record was 22 'shut up's in one day but the detective was willing to try and beat that.
It also happened to provide Sherlock with a conclusive answer on the matter of John's feelings for him but it also made Sherlock's feelings for the other man very obvious. He enjoyed watching his friend get flustered slightly too much and it wasn't even about revenge anymore, Sherlock actually enjoyed knowing the sheer amount of power he had over John.
At around about day four John seemed to properly catch on however, instead of confronting Sherlock, the other man joined in and added his own comments onto the ones that Sherlock had said. He still went bright red but had managed to somewhat stifle the 'shut up' reflex.
"Yet again that was utterly and truly amazing, Sherlock." John exclaimed at the end of another case. A particularly nasty one which involved a serial killer cutting off a single finger off his victim but putting the bones of his previous victim as a necklace on. It was fairly simple once the pattern had been worked out but was still rather gruesome.
"Thank you John." Sherlock replied, "I could not have done it without your thorough understanding of human anatomy."
"As a doctor my understanding of the human anatomy and the functions of it is very extensive." John pointed out.
"I guess you could make some use of that understanding when we get home if you want." Sherlock added. They never did anything but it was brilliant watching John get riled up.
"Shut up." John said in the absence of a better comeback. He tilted his head down to the floor and walked off in a dramatic strop.
The majority of the two men's interactions carried on like this for about a week until John decided he had finally had enough.
"Are we going to just keep on joking around or do you intend on doing anything about whatever the hell this is?" John asked gesturing between the two of them.
"What exactly is this? Because not even three days ago you decided to yet again publicly announced that you aren't gay and then joked about fucking me as soon as we got home." Sherlock pointed out
"I'm not gay. It's only you. But you can't talk, Mr I'm married to my work." John added.
"Well you became more interesting than my work and I wasn't really expecting to gain feelings." Sherlock tried to reason with the other man, "Seeing as we have now established that we both have romantic feelings for each other what do you want to do about it?" Sherlock questioned.
"Date?" John suggested.
"Fine by me." Sherlock agreed.
"Does that mean I can finally kiss that irritatingly smart mouth of yours."
"I'm all yours."
John stepped closer to Sherlock and wrapped an arm around his neck, then he tilted is head so that it was in line with the detectives and they finally pressed their lips together.
"Hello boys. I just came in to make sure that everything was alright in here and that there are no science experiments going on." Mrs Hudson's voice broke rang throughout the flat.
"Oops. Did I interrupt a moment?" She added as she watched the two men immediately spring apart, both their faces tinted somewhat red, "I knew it though. It's the way you two look at each other."
"No its okay. Maybe knock next time." John suggested unable to make eye contact.
"I will do. Anyways the flat looks okay so I'll leave you boys to it." She said and then left the room.
"That is the most awkward kiss I've ever had. She really couldn't have picked a worse moment to walk in." John said once the footsteps down the stairs had stopped.
"I would agree with you on that one."
"Do over?" John suggested.
"Do over." Sherlock agreed.
And so they kissed again. This time properly without anyone walking in on them. It was brilliant. All of the annoying pent up feelings finally had somewhere to go and the relief that the two men felt was only matched by just how much they liked each other.
"Wow John that was brilliant." Sherlock said.
"Shut up." John replied, " I could say the same to you though. I guess you can learn how to kiss from textbooks."
"Shut up." Sherlock said.
"I finally made you say it." John smiled, he had been trying to do that for the past few days and yet still failing miserably.
"Yeah you did. Well done."
