Spike 1
It was Christmas Eve, and MegaVolt had gotten away with hot wiring and stealing a 334th vehicle to sell, a Lincoln Continental, but part of him was still drowning in grief. "I still can't believe Fat Cat died in that accident precisely seven years ago." Christmas Eve was a grim reminder of the whole tragedy, making him bitter, and he drove right past a toy drive that was right outside Walmart.
MegaVolt pulled peacefully into his fake used car lot, and only a minute later, his accomplice, Wart the Lizard, pulled in with him in the next successful score, a Plymouth Prowler. Wart was in much better spirits. "Christmas is tomorrow, and I wouldn't miss it for millions."
"That's just an excuse to be lazy!" MegaVolt said bluntly.
Minutes later, into the front office, walked MegaVolt's nephew, Jake. "Hey! Uncle MegaVolt! I have some awesome news for tomorrow."
"Let me guess," replied MegaVolt "You've figured out an especially effective way to attract new customers."
"It's even better," answered Jake with excitement. "Our Christmas party, this year will be like never before. We will celebrate on the roof of The Dave Hood Hotel, and Karnage (Karr-noj) & Friends will be performing aerobatic flying in clear view of us, complete with wing walkers."
"They should not be wasting time, performing in front of spectators," MegaVolt replied with thick eyebrows. "They should be looting and kidnapping, like they did for many years."
"It'll be a blast," replied Jake. "like never before."
"Christmas is time wasted," said MegaVolt with a sneer "when you could be making overtime. Now, good day, Jake."
"A very merry Christmas, Uncle MegaVolt."
"Good day, already!" said MegaVolt in a raised voice.
"And a very merry Christmas to you, Wart."
"I said, 'Good day' already!" MegaVolt shouted at Jake.
Jake left the office with one small tear in his eye.
Four hours later, it was time for MegaVolt and Wart to head home, and MegaVolt was still fairly moody. "You won't be willing to make any scores tomorrow, I suppose."
"It's only one day a year, Mr. MegaVolt," Wart answered, nervously.
"Go and have that blasted party for all the good it'll do you," replied MegaVolt.
"Oh, thank you ever so much!" exclaimed Wart. "It'll be our best family time of the year!"
"Just make sure you're here at 4:00 the next morning," MegaVolt insisted.
MegaVolt drove home in his low mileage Lexus, and Wart took the bus. When MegaVolt made it to his front porch, he had barely touched the dial on his combination deadbolt when he saw something oddly out of the ordinary on the knocker. Little by little, it started to look like Fat Cat's face. He covered his eyes, trembling in fear. A few seconds later, he looked up to see that the knocker was back to normal. He twisted the dial right and left, then like normal turned the latch. All in seconds, MegaVolt opened the door, dashed in, slammed the door, double locked it from the inside, and was leaning against it, breathing rapidly.
MegaVolt trudged slowly up the stairs. He was about halfway up when he heard a barely audible voice. "MegaVolt."
MegaVolt dashed up the rest of the stairs, slammed his bedroom door, and took cover under he rug.
"MegaVolt." The voice, now, sounded shockingly familiar.
MegaVolt leaped right out, grabbed his fire poker, electrified it with 5,000 volts, and pointed it towards the creepy voice. "Stay back, or you will get tazed!" he shouted in self defense.
The creepy voice defied the threat and walked right in on MegaVolt, through the closed door. "MegaVolt."
"It can't be!" MegaVolt cried in disbelief.
"It can," said the ghost, "and it is. In life, I was your partner in crime, Fat Cat."
MegaVolt noticed something surprisingly different about Fat Cat. "Is it just me, or are you wearing two ankle monitors?"
"These are the monitors of shame," answered Fat Cat. "One of them tells all souls precisely what I'm up to, and the other pulls me back to the underworld any time the devil hits the associated summon button. By seeing both of them on me, all souls on earth know I was dangerously greedy. And the worst part is they never come off."
By now, MegaVolt was in tears. "Please, Fat Cat. Why in the world do you resort to haunting me like this?"
"I have come to alert you," answered Fat Cat. "You will receive visits from four spirits. The first spirit will be Nani Pelekai. The second will be Launchpad McQuack. The third will be Snout. And the fourth will be Perry the Platypus. But they're, now better known as the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, Future, and Afterlife in that order."
"But you've already haunted me almost to death," MegaVolt argued.
"The first one will show up at precisely 12:30."
"If she interrupts my sleep," urged MegaVolt, "I'm sure to taze her!"
"The second will show up at precisely 1:30," Fat Cat continued, floating right through the window glass.
"That's crazy!" cried MegaVolt.
"The third will be here at 2:30." And without another word, Fat Cat was completely out of sight.
"Oh, well," MegaVolt thought out loud. "That was probably just a bad moment of dizziness."
Spike 2
Right on the stroke of 12:30, MegaVolt's smart phone went off with an unfamiliar alarm tone. "Lilo! Open the door, Lilo!"
MegaVolt slowly woke up and reached out to silence the alarm as it continued, going off. "Lilo! Open theā¦" And as soon as he hit the silent switch, he got a full blaze of Hawaiian sunlight, right within his bedroom. His eyes shot open, and right there, three feet from his bedside, stood a familiar, tanned, young woman.
"Nani?" gasped MegaVolt.
"That's me," she replied with a smile.
"Are you The Ghost of Christmas past?" he asked her.
"Indeed, I am," Nani answered. "And tonight, we'll be paying a visit to the distant past."
"You mean like, the days of President Lincoln?" MegaVolt questioned.
"Not that," said Nani. "Your past. Now come out this window with me."
"But it's 16 degrees below zero out there."
Nani pulled just a pinch of sand out of her pocket and blew it onto MegaVolt. Before he could argue any further, he was weightless and floated right up, through his quilt. He tried to grab onto his bed knob, but his hand ran right through it as if it was running water. He braced himself for a smash through his closed window, but it didn't even crack, and he uncovered his eyes to see he was cruising in mid air with Nani at what looked like 130 miles an hour. Next thing he knew, he was on his way through a super bright warp, which somehow, didn't even hurt his eyes. Seconds later, he and Nani landed in a shockingly familiar neighborhood, in front of an even more familiar house.
"I remember this place, vividly," said MegaVolt. "I grew up here."
"Have a look inside," said Nani, and went in, right through the closed door.
MegaVolt tried his hand at the same thing, and sure enough, he went right through the wood without leaving a trace. But what he saw inside was very dismaying. It was his dad, on a highly shady phone call. "How about 500 dollars for the dirt bike?" he asked.
MegaVolt could hear the guy on the other end of the line. "Is it in great condition?"
"I assure you," said MegaVolt's dad. "It is."
"Can I take it for a test drive?" asked the customer.
"You sure can," said MegaVolt's dad. "So why not today?"
"I'm on my way," said the customer.
"Dad, you stole that bike!" shouted MegaVolt, but his dad didn't take the slightest notice.
"Mom!" MegaVolt called out loud to the kitchen. "Dad's been robbing people!"
Nani chimed in. "They can neither see us, nor hear us, they are only Heavenly records of things that have already been."
Just then, MegaVolt heard the sound of high voltage coming from the backyard. He went reluctantly out there to check it out, and Nani followed. Sure enough, it was himself, as a kid, measuring the increase of electricity as he ran it through water. "This is it!" his younger self said, excitedly. "All it takes is a nine volt battery to highly electrocute someone in a swimming pool. That gives me a full power super weapon!" but just two seconds later, he got electrocuted, himself. But almost immediately, he made a lightning bolt come out of the bucket of water. He did the same trick again and discovered a brand new superpower. The power to manipulate electricity.
The present MegaVolt confided in Nani. "That was exactly where I got my powers."
"And if that ever happened to my little sister," Nani replied, "I would be traumatized. But family aside, I would like to show you something else." With that, Nani took another finger of sand from her pocket and blew it on MegaVolt.
The whole atmosphere changes, and the one, now was a lot more alive. Christmas music was blasting from the stereo at full volume. There was a lot of crazy dancing. And six guys, including Fat Cat, the adult MegaVolt, and even Wart, were playing a brutal game of darts.
Fat cat was determined to outdo everyone. "Tonight's victory is going to be mine."
"Not with those thick fingers," said MegaVolt.
"And not with those rubber gloves, either," urged Wart.
"Well then," suggested the past MegaVolt. "How about a real challenge? The winner gets 3,000 dollars."
"What do you have in mind this time?" Fat Cat questioned.
"An auto theft challenge," MegaVolt answered. "like what we've been doing for two years. The idea is to steal the most money worth of cars within three hours, and tomorrow, an auto dealer will value each and every vehicle. Now, go get your tools, and meet me in the parking lot."
"With pleasure," replied Fat Cat, and he and Wart went right to their van.
Nani quickly took the present MegaVolt to the parking lot, and in seconds, Fat Cat, Wart, and the past MegaVolt were meeting excitedly. Wart and Fat Cat both had a hammer, a flat head screwdriver, wire cutter, and splicers.
Fat Cat was now as confident as ever. "With these tools, no vehicle out there is protected."
"We'll see about that," said MegaVolt. "On the count of three, this challenge is underway. One...Two...Three!"
Spike 3
Right on the count of three, Nani pulled the present MegaVolt into Fat Cat's van, and Fat Cat pulled right out of the lot without Wart. MegaVolt looked right through the window and in the distance, saw Wart, jacking a Fiat that happened to be passing by. But he didn't even turn it in, knowing it wasn't worth a whole lot. In fact, he chased after Fat Cat, hoping he would know where to find an easier target. But the past MegaVolt went in a different direction.
Fat Cat parked at a drive in and went across the street to steal what appeared to be a 1960's Mercedes, and Nani and the present MegaVolt went right with him. To pick the ignition, he stuck his screwdriver in, applied turning pressure, and hit it with his hammer. By that means, he started the car right up and peeled right out of the parking lot. "No one will catch me in this fancy ride." he boasted out loud and made for his and MegaVolt's lot at full acceleration.
In mere moments, he was at 120 miles an hour and ran two red lights in a row. At a third red light, he was not able to notice soon enough that there was an 18 wheel livestock truck, crossing his path. He tried to steer away from it, but it was too late. He t-boned the trailer. The livestock were all startled. The Mercedes was totaled. And Fat Cat was deceased right on impact, dripping with blood.
At this point, MegaVolt was in trauma. "Nani, why do you delight to torment me with these crazy, bitter memories? I never wanted Fat Cat dead. Really."
"Remember, MegaVolt," Nani reminded him. "This could have happened to you."
Next thing MegaVolt knew, he was back in bed, and at precisely 1:30, his smart phone alarm went off again. This time, it was in a very different ringtone. "How can I sift through clues when I'm hungry? How can I sift through clues when I'm hungry? How can I sift through clues when I'm hungry?"
That was when MegaVolt silenced the alarm, but no sooner had the phone fallen silent than had a surprisingly bright blast of candle light invaded his bedroom. He popped his head out from under the covers and saw what looked like 200 different candles, surrounding a familiar duck, on a throne, with broad shoulders, in a shiny, green robe and a crown of holly. He also sounded exactly like the ringtone that had come on MegaVolt's phone. "Hey MegaVolt, come on in and get to know me better!"
"You're Launchpad McQuack," said MegaVolt with confidence.
"I know most of you know me as Launchpad," he replied "but tonight, I'm The Ghost of Christmas Present."
"You're no ghost of Christmas," argued MegaVolt. "You just want to take me into custody on behalf of Darkwing Duck."
"Touch my sleeve," said Launchpad. "and I'll show you otherwise.
MegaVolt laid one finger on the far edge Launchpad's sleeve, and in seconds, Launchpad whisked him away, right through the wall.
In the blink of an eye, Launchpad and MegaVolt were on the streets of St. Canard, and Launchpad had an offer to make. "Well MegaVolt, would you like to see a blessed magic trick?"
"Sure," MegaVolt answered.
Launchpad pulled out a can of silly string and used it on a passerby. MegaVolt expected a bad overreaction, but something very different happened. The stranger was instantly in full Christmas spirit. He had no idea how it had happened. He only knew it was Christmas.
The next passerby was Rebecca Cunningham. Launchpad used his magical silly string on her, and she was loaded with Christmas spirit like never before. But it quickly stirred up MegaVolt. "How in the world did you do that?"
"It's the blessing of Christmas," Launchpad answered. "And at the end of the holiday, no one is immune to it." And he went on to bless eight more strangers who would never know it was him, who was up to it. After that, he whisked MegaVolt to an unfamiliar trailer park and showed him into a predetermined trailer.
"What in the world are we invading someone's privacy for?" MegaVolt questioned bluntly.
"It's not just anyone," answered Launchpad. "It's your underpaid accomplice, Wart."
Inside the trailer was a warm glow of Christmas lights on the tree and on the mantle, but the only other decoration was a black & white, paper cut out nativity scene.
The unmistakable smell of chicken was grilling over the open fire, and the smell of coconut cookies was simmering in the oven. But the only thing that looked pricey was a dialyses machine that one of Wart's three kids was hooked up to, but he was still in surprisingly good spirits. "Please bless Fat Cat, Lilo, Bolt, Magica De Spell, Gosalyn, my near and dear parents, and don't forget MegaVolt. He's been lonely this holiday season without a business partner, and he's still putting food on the table."
Seconds later, Wart's wife came in with the chicken on a tray. "Dinner is served. Just save some for Tiny Tony."
MegaVolt was surprised at what was happening. "I never knew Tiny Tony was on dialyses."
"He has a vitamin deficiency," said Launchpad. "He's been living on chips and crackers for most of the year."
"Let's raise a toast," said Wart's wife.
Everyone raised their cups, and Wart continued. "A toast to MegaVolt."
"To MegaVolt," added Tiny Tony.
Wart's wife was now a little disgruntled. "The only thing mega about him is his crazy greed."
Wart gasped. "But he's the way he got lucky. We'd be homeless without him."
MegaVolt was starting to get emotional. "Launchpad, please tell me Tiny Tony will make a good recovery."
"I see an empty chair at the table," said Launchpad. "and a dialyses machine, collecting dust in the closet."
Spike 4
Launchpad now, pointed his silly string can at MegaVolt and hit the button, but instead of silly string, coming out, it was a blur. MegaVolt wiped his goggles, but when he uncovered his eyes, he was somewhere different. He could hear the sound of just a few cars going by, about 160 feet below. Also, on that rooftop, there were five tables, each set for eight, with spotless tablecloths, gleaming silverware, name tags, menus, neatly folded napkins, and freshly polished stemware.
MegaVolt was almost at a loss for words. "Where are we now?" he asked Launchpad.
"This stop is of the essence," Launchpad answered. "because these guys and gals been longing for your presence at this particular event."
Before MegaVolt could ask a further question, the guests came pouring out of the only door on the roof. And some of them looked familiar. Almost like MegaVolt, himself. They each sat down where their name was, and a young, uniformed waitress poured each of them some sparkling apple cider.
Jake took the first sip and was ticklish on it. "I never knew the bubbles would tickle my nose this much."
The waitress cut in. "Have any of you decided what you want, yet?"
"I have," replied Jake. "I would like the Grilled Shrimp and Lobster."
After the waitress took the rest of the orders at the table, Jake engaged the rest of the table in a guessing game. "I'm thinking of someone we know, who drives a four door Lexus."
"Is it a lady?" asked one of MegaVolt's nieces.
"No," said Jake.
"Is he smart?" asked another young relative.
"Yes," said Jake.
"Does he wear glasses?" asked another young relative.
"In a sense, yes," said Jake.
"Is he anywhere around here?" asked a third young relative.
"I wish he was," Jake sadly answered.
"I know who it is!" exclaimed MegaVolt's niece. "It's MegaVolt!"
"It sure is," replied Jake "It's too bad he'll miss out on this year's wonderful aerobatic flying."
Minutes later, three waitstaff returned with all eight dinners for Jake's table, and it all looked delicious. But seconds after they dug in, they were interrupted by a helicopter with a loudspeaker. "Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen! This wonderful Christmas Day, I would like to welcome you to the annual holiday performance of a gang who gave up all looting and kidnapping for high flying acrobatics. Give it up for Karnage & Friends!"
Right out from behind a tall, nearby building, flew three bright blue stunt planes, with smoke units on, and wing walkers on board, piloted by Don Karnage, Mad Dog, and Gibber. On Karnage's wings, was Hacksaw. On Mad Dog's wings, was Dumptruck. And on Gibber's wings, was Jock. But MegaVolt noticed something different about them. "Is it just me?" he asked Launchpad. "Or are they all wearing pants?"
"You always wear pants," Launchpad pointed out. "Don't you?"
"I sure do," MegaVolt admitted.
"It was also the new dress code rule," answered Launchpad. "imposed by Karnage, because he and his minions get a lot more attention as acrobats than as pirates."
Before MegaVolt could talk any further, Karnage & friends got in formation and did an outside loop together. While remaining in formation, they did a square loop together. After that, Mad Dog and Gibber flew within ten feet of one another, and Dumptruck threw the end of a cloth ribbon to Jock. Then, Mad Dog and Gibber flew just 30 feet apart and eased off the throttle simultaneously. From there, Don Karnage flew right up behind the two of them. Hacksaw pulled out a machete. And as he and Karnage flew by, Hacksaw sliced the ribbon. The three pilots got back in formation and did a diagonal figure-eight. To top it all off, they did corkscrews in formation.
Next thing MegaVolt knew, he and Launchpad were out on the dark streets of St. Canard, but Launchpad had aged a great deal. That quickly got him wondering. "What happened to you all of the sudden?"
"My time on these dark streets is very brief," Launchpad answered. "It ends in five seconds."
"Seriously?" asked MegaVolt.
"I'm afraid so," said Launchpad with a look of dread. "Expect the third spirit shortly." and with that, Launchpad turned to dust.
Spike 5
MegaVolt was trembling in the darkness when a familiar rat, in a hooded, black cloak, came up on him and took a sniff.
At this point, MegaVolt was really unnerved. "Do you go by the mane 'Snout'?"
The rat slowly nodded, yes.
"Are you The Ghost of Christmas Future?"
Snout nodded yes again.
"Alright then," said MegaVolt. "Take me where you will."
Snout pulled a magic wand out of his cloak and waved it back and fourth. The creepy magic lifted MegaVolt off the ground, and the two rats flew to a creepy cemetery, where Magica De Spell was chatting with Don Karnage and Bushroot. "I don't know who he has in his will. I only know he died in an electrical storm."
Karnage was barely emotional either. "It's too bad he never got to see any of our aerobatic flying, really."
"And he probably only paid a couple hundred dollars for his funeral," added Bushroot. "Too bad he can't grow back like I can."
"And the worst part," added Magica. "is that he got Fat Cat killed."
At this point, MegaVolt was so traumatized that he simply took off, running. And yet, when he glanced back, snout had turned to ashes. He came, running back in a heartbeat, and tried sifting through the ashes. "Snout! Snout!" but it was total silence and stillness. He banged his forehead in the ashes, sobbing his eyes out, and the tears were accompanied by bursts of electricity. Next thing he knew, he was met with a small, comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see that it was Perry the Platypus, but he remembered something else. "I've heard about you. You're The Ghost of Christmas Afterlife. You want to show me something, don't you?"
Perry shook his head, yes, took off his hat, and pulled a pinch of sparkling dust out. Then, he blew it on MegaVolt, and there was a quickly brightening burst of light.
MegaVolt uncovered his eyes and was met by a heavenly orchestra of drums and bagpipes. Off to the side were Wart, his wife, Don Karnage, his crew, and Tiny Tony. Right outside the pearly gate were Fat Cat, Magica De Spell, and MegaVolt's spirit, all wearing ankle monitors on both legs, and Wart's whole family wasted no time, praying out loud for them. "For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on MegaVolt and on the whole world."
Don Karnage and his crew joined in quickly. "For the sake of her sorrowful passion, have mercy on Magica and on the whole world. For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on them and on the whole world. We pray also, that they soon be able join us for the holidays in eternal life."
Next, a Heavenly Christmas tree appeared in sparkles and looked about 80 feet tall with crystal ball ornaments that each depicted a priceless Christmas memory, some of which, MegaVolt was very familiar with. Some ornaments had memories of successful holiday charity events. Some had memories of secret Santa traditions. Some had scented memories of Christmas candy. Some had memories of opening presents. Some had fond memories of Christmas decorating tasks. And a select few had memories of successfully saving Christmas. Most of them were so good that MegaVolt really wished he had continued, making them.
In an instant, there came a huge bolt of lightning, followed by pouring rain. MegaVolt was so afraid of shorting out that he took cover under the giant tree. Ever so slightly, he remembered that he and Perry were only there in spirit, but he was still traumatized. Then came another bolt of lightning that cracked open the clouds. He was going to make a run for it, but he almost forgot one thing. "Come on, Perry! There's a storm after us!"
But Perry didn't come along. And MegaVolt was just reaching out for Perry when a big piece of the cloud gave way beneath both of them. From there, they both plunged into darkness at four times the speed of sound.
Spike 6
MegaVolt was just about to fall into despair when he awoke back in his own bed. And coming in through the window, was broad daylight. Without asking anyone at all, he immediately knew what day it was. "Christmas Day! I didn't miss one bit of it! Those spirits all came and went in one night and got he home, safe and sound! I know just what to do." He immediately opened his window, stuck his head out, and spotted Honker. "Hey Honker!" he cried.
"What's your wicked scheme this year?" Honker asked.
"It's not wicked at all this year," answered MegaVolt. "It's something special for Wart and his family."
"And what kind of special might it be?" questioned Honker.
MegaVolt quickly pulled out his spare scarf. "Quick Honker," he said "put this on over Wart's eyes and lead him into my office." And he tossed it right down to Honker. "When I make the letter 'C' with my hand, that's your signal to tell him to look. Got it?"
"You got it," replied Honker and wasted no time on his way to Wart's place with the scarf.
When Honker removed the scarf, Wart was trembling to see that he was sitting right in front of MegaVolt, who had an annoyed question. "What were you thinking, coming in five hours late?"
"I thought you said I could have off today," Wart answered nervously.
"I explicitly told you to come in at 4:00 this morning," MegaVolt continued. "and you didn't make it in until 9:00. For that reason, I shall have no choice, but to promote you and let you have some extra presents this year." And he pulled two vehicle keys from the drawer. I just had these two cars towed to you trailer park, and both are now yours. But most importantly of all, I will personally be building new vehicles from everyone I stole them from." And it took him a couple months, but he had no trouble, delivering to all victims. In fact, even families in poverty could afford a new car.
