Chapter 1
One year, not long ago, on Christmas Eve, Tigger, Monterey Jack, Ed the Hyena, Wart the Lizard, and Arachno-Duck, usually known as Darkwing Duck, had landed the most coveted invitation in Cape Suzette. They were on their way to spend the holiday with their new favorite aerobatic pilot, Don Karnage. So Darkwing was wearing his Arachno-Duck suit so as not to annoy the host. The five of them were sharing a rental pontoon boat, and behind the wheel, Ed was flooring it.
Darkwing, on the other hand was getting unnerved with the speed. "Slow down, Ed! You're going to get us killed!"
"I'm a Pride Rock predator," replied Ed. "I know all that a feared predator needs to know."
"And just think," added Tigger. "I've already hacked Don Karnage's home security cameras on my smartphone. That way, I can catch Santa Claus in the living room and get a wish."
"Then, you can just wish for unlimited wishes," replied Wart.
"More wishes the one and only wish he can't grant," Ed reminded him.
"Regardless of wishes," said Monterey Jack. "I just cant wait until we can open our presents tomorrow. Ill bet Karnage will get me 30 pound block of chee-ee-ee-eese!"
"Speaking of anticipation," added Ed. "Land ahoy. Everyone off."
Everyone else looked up, and sure enough, Ed had parked the boat right next to Karnage's speed boat, at the end of the dock, connected right to the walkway, to Don Karnage's shining mansion, complete with a mini golf course, an extra large hot tub, a runway dock, a hangar, a princess tower, an electric fence, and needless to say, an eight foot tall Christmas tree in the living room.
Tigger was just about to bounce right over the front gate when it slid right open. And next, came Karnage's voice over the intercom. "Welcome VIPs and Merry Christmas. I've been waiting for you."
Darkwing, Ed, Monterey, and Wart all joined hands and walked through the gate together. As soon as they were all in, the gate slid closed and triple locked, giving Wart and Monterey the creeps. Wart went in with Ed, Tigger, and Darkwing, but Monterey was still trembling.
Before even Tigger could ring the doorbell, the front door slowly opened, and right there, stood Don Karnage. "Welcome! Welcome! The Five of you finally made it! Wait a minute. Whats wrong with Monterey?"
Wart whispered in Karnage's ear. "I think he might be nervous about the electric fence."
"Well then," said Karnage. "Go to the fridge and get him some cheese."
The C word got Monterey's attention fast. "Chee-ee-ee-eese!" So he ran right in, knocked down Karnage and Wart, and ate a whole package of sliced mozzarella cheese before falling down on his belly.
Nonetheless, Karnage still had no problem, being hospitable. "Just hang up your stockings. Lay on back. Make yourselves at home. And if you want, you can get in the hot tub, because Santa will be here in just a few short hours."
Chapter 2
All five guests wasted no time, getting their stockings hung from the mantle, but after that, they quickly split up. While Tigger and Darkwing turned on the flat screen TV, Wart and Monterey threw their hats and shirts right off and went straight for the hot tub. Ed, on the other hand was already peckish and went rummaging in the cabinets, only to be intercepted. "Just remember Ed, no Christmas cookies or crackers until tomorrow. But you can have anything else in the cabinets." And with that, Don Karnage put a bike lock on the fridge. Then, he went to the outdoor sauna, changed into his mainly red and white swimwear, and joined Wart and Monterey in the hot tub.
Four hours later, Don Karnage, Tigger, Ed, and Darkwing were all in bed, fast asleep. But Wart and Monterey were asleep in the hot tub. And much to Tigger's stealth, he had remembered to put his phone in vibrate, so it could wake him up quietly. And that was just what it did. He got under his quilt to silently check the screen, and sure enough, Santa was right there in the living room, pulling the presents from his sack. Just like that, he tiptoed right downstairs and sure enough, the 300 pound Santa was still right there. But Tigger didn't want to frighten him, so he made a whisper. "Hey buddy boy."
Santa looked over and was already startled. "Oh! You frightened me there. Well, since you have such high Christmas spirit, you get one wish."
You mean it? asked Tigger.
Ho, ho, ho. Sure, I do, replied Santa.
Tigger knew immediately what he wanted. "I wish Christmas was every day."
"Wish granted," said Santa and blew some pixie dust from his index finger. "And a very Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you, Santa," replied Tigger, and as quick as a flash, ran right back to bed, got under the quilt, and sighed his phone right out of Karnage's security account.
Next morning, at 7:00, Karnage was already wide awake and on the intercom. "Attention all guests. Attention all guests. Time to dig into your stockings."
Tigger, Darkwing, Ed, Monterey, and Wart all leaped out of bed at once and ran right downstairs so fast that Monterey took a tumble. And even though he had a noticeable bruise, he was still overcome with excitement. Karnage and all five guests emptied their stockings at the same time, and they each found two peppermint candy canes, two Lemon Head candy canes, two Sweet Tarts candy canes, a fresh pine scented candle, three bottle rockets, two roman candles, and four smoke bombs. They each broke off a piece of one candy cane and put it in their mouths. Then, Karnage made a further announcement. "Time to open the presents."
All six guys went for their presents at the same time. But the first one was opened by Tigger. It was a Hot Wheels track, complete with a high powered car machine and five different cars. Monterey opened the second present, and it was an Abraham Lincoln Cheese Sculpture that made him go nuts. "Chee-ee-ee-eese!"
The next present was opened by Wart, and it was a Sony PS5. "This looks like it'll be the best Christmas of my entire life."
The next present was opened by Monterey Jack, and no mistake. It was a pair of royal Arab sweat pants. "I just hope these don't get soaking wet in the snow."
The next present was opened by Don Karnage, and it was something highly valuable. It was a certificate of shares. More specifically, it was a 2% share in Khan Industries, and that was plenty to celebrate. "This will allow me to take over a mid size circus."
The next present was opened by Ed the Hyena, and it was something amazing. It was a package of three USB digital photo frames, each with a capacity of 500 megabytes and each with ten photos already on it. "This is the nicest present I've ever gotten from anyone."
Tigger opened the next present, and it was a value pack of 26 very different Hot Wheels cars. At this point, he was hyper. He does, in fact, have ADHD.
The 24th and final present was opened by Wart, and it was a package of five different PlayStation games. Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart, Gran Turismo 7, Crash: Nitro Kart, Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, and Sonic: Forces, all playable on his new PS5.
Chapter 3
That evening, after a delicious Christmas dinner of Shrimp & Crab Alfredo, Ed had added all desired photos to his new digital frames. Tigger had played with all 31 of his new Hot Wheels. And all six guys bathed in the hot tub, dried off in the sauna, went to bed, and had no trouble, falling asleep.
Nest morning, everyone slept in until at least 9:20. And when Don Karnage, Ed, and Monterey made their way downstairs, they beheld the most gorgeous site.
"What do you know?" asked Karnage. "Boxing Day, and Santa brought us even more presents."
"And more candy canes," added Monterey.
"And more cookies," added Ed and crammed three of them in his mouth at once.
"Hey guys!" Karnage called up the stairs. "Come down here and see what just happened!"
Tigger was downstairs in a flash, but Wart and Darkwing were both still groggy. Tigger knew immediately that his wish had come true, but he didn't say a word about making it. When Wart and Darkwing laid eyes on the new presents and full stockings, they were excited all over again. And so was Karnage. "You might as well go ahead and open them."
The first present was to Darkwing, and when he opened it, it was a wood sculpture of Gosalyn. "Who knew?" he asked "I've always wanted fine art like this."
The second present was opened by Tigger, and it was no doubt equally exciting. "Another new Hot Wheels track! This will make for years of fun!"
The third and fourth presents were opened by Wart and Monterey, and both were the same thing- A virtual reality headset, compatible with all modern video game consoles, smartphones, and tablets. And both came with the necessary cables for all connectivity.
The fifth present was opened by Don Karnage, and it was none other than a six foot tall MegaVolt Bobble Head. "Just what I wanted!" he exclaimed. "A villain the same elite breed as me."
"Not to cut in on you," said Tigger, "but what elite breed of villain are you referring to?"
"I guess you haven't noticed," answered Karnage. "He not only wears pants, but he faces off against key protagonists who don't."
Wart quickly put his hands over his groin, but Monterey intervened. "We're having a good time today, aren't we?"
"We sure are," Wart admitted.
The 27th and final present was opened by Ed, and it was something even better than raw meat. It was a kill switch with a note, saying, 'Look at the end of the dock.' All six guys went put there, and sure enough, it was a brand new Kawasaki jet ski. "Let's see what I can do on this thing."
"Give it a shot, Ed," said Darkwing.
"I bet you can't make a 20 foot jump," added Karnage.
"I'm going for it anyway," Ed answered with confidence and got right on. He started it right up, made the turn, and took off to a distance of what looked like 400 feet. From there, he swing around and pin pointed the vessel at a jump that Don Karnage had set up on the shore and gunned it, but disaster struck. Ed hit a submerged object, tipped halfway over, and was dunked in the 26 degree Fahrenheit water. But the jet ski landed right side up again. "Help! Help! I'm freezing my tail off! Anybody!"
Don Karnage and Darkwing quickly hopped in Karnage's speed boat and made straight for the scene. And once they were in reach, Darkwing took charge. "I'll pull him out while you balance the boat from the other side.
Karnage complied quickly, but it took most of Darkwing's muscle power to hoist Ed into the boat. With the victim on board, they quickly towed the jet ski to the end of the dock and left it tied to Karnage's boat. Then, Karnage carried out the further coordination. "Wart, Tigger, get Ed to the hot tub. Darkwing, bring him his stocking from the mantle. And Monterey, go ahead and dig into yours."
Chapter 4
Once Ed was in the hot tub with his stocking, Don Karnage, Darkwing, Tigger, and Wart dug into theirs, and this time, they each found ten candy canes, including three gummy ones, one chocolate orange, two candy apples, and a whole bag of Andes Candies. They each put a good dose in their mouths and savored it. They each took an hour to savor a bit more until it made them feel queasy, especially Tigger. "I don't think I'll even be hungry for another Christmas dinner."
Don Karnage was relieved, because he wasn't really in a position to cook another. "I probably won't be hungry for it either."
"Neither will I," added Darkwing. "This kind of bellyache is probably what would happen to Gosalyn if I left her behind without a babysitter."
That evening, they all had a very light dinner of grilled cheese and salami, took baths mostly in the hot tub, dried off in the sauna, and headed right to bed.
Next morning, they all slept in until at least 9:00. And when Don Karnage, Ed, Tigger, and Wart made their way downstairs, they laid eyes on more full stockings, more presents, and more cookies, but at this point, Karnage was starting to get fed up. "I don't hate Christmas, but all this is getting tiring."
"You're right," added Tigger. "Yesterday's candy was starting to feel kind of miserable."
"You might as well go ahead and open your presents without the rest of us," said Karnage indifferently.
The first present Tigger opened was a gallon bucket of green Play-Doh, and he was still at least a little bit thrilled. The first present Karnage opened was an LED projector, compatible with a video game console, a computer, a tablet, a smartphone, or even a USB drive. It even came with a remote.
The third present was opened by Wart, and it was a shining, sharp machete.
The fourth present was opened by Ed, and it was an O-gauge Amtrak Starter Set.
The fifth present was opened by Tigger, and it was a Play-Doh Fun Factory Deluxe Set.
Eventually, they got to the 30th and final present. It was for Ed, and it was the biggest package of O-gauge track on the market. But he was getting pretty annoyed with the endless presents. "Man oh, man. Even though this is the first year I ever got a Christmas present, it's already getting exhausted with all this excitement."
"I feel the very same way," said Darkwing.
"Me, too," said Tigger.
"Me, in addition," added Don Karnage.
Chapter 5
That evening, they all had another light dinner of macaroni salad and went to bed quite early.
Next morning, Don Karnage and Wart were the first two up. But as soon as Karnage set foot downstairs, he went all nuts. "Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! I just can't take it anymore! The loot's piling up faster than I can even enjoy it!"
"But your daringness," said Wart. "I thought you loved loot."
"I love it in the form of cash, jewels, or gold," Karnage explained. "but I'm seeing the same wrapping paper, the same poinsettias, and the same miserable candy day in and day out. At this point, it's driving me berserk."
Wart still wanted to clear one thing up. "Buy 'berserk' you mean 'crazy'?"
"Crazy?" accused Karnage. "I can't stand it when people call me that word!"
Wart wasted no time and ran right upstairs to turn to Tigger. "Hey Tigger, can you find us Santa's undo wishes app real quick?"
"What for, buddy boy?" Tigger asked.
"The presents are piling up to the point where Don Karnage is going… I mean bouncing off the walls." Wart explained.
"At this point," said Tigger. "I think I really overdid my wish."
"You were the one who wished on that magic star?" asked Wart.
"It wasn't a star," explained Tigger. "It was Santa. I caught him in the living room." And he quickly installed the app.
"Let's try it out now," said Wart. "How do we do it?"
"Let's see here," replied Tigger, pulling it up. "Apparently, we just type it in and hit the send button." He said it to himself as he typed. "I wish Christmas was only one day a year again." And with that, he hit the send button.
Wart leaned over to see the outcome on the screen, and Santa's voice came on. "Your wish is granted."
Tigger, Wart, and the other four guys opened the last presents of the year anyway, and enjoyed a relaxed day in the hot tub. When they got up the next morning, all six of them, including Tigger, were relieved to see no more loot under the tree. Tigger, Wart, Monterey, Darkwing, and Ed took two relaxed hours to separate their presents from those, belonging to Don Karnage, loaded them on their rental boat, and headed home, satisfied.
