~cosmic jokes suck~

The summer season had quickly shifted to fall and soon enough October was upon them. The temperature had already started to drop and Toji had taken to wearing a scarf whenever he left the orphanage. For the last four months, both he and Naruto had stuck to the training schedule Toji made for them. It was simple, and only included taijutsu, endurance, and strength training, but there wasn't much else they could do at their age.

The most important thing was that they prepared their bodies now so they could handle the stress of more complicated training once they were allowed to enroll in the ninja academy. Toji suspected it was the only way to learn the techniques of this world. Ninja held their secrets close to their chests and Toji had learned long ago that he wouldn't find anything worthwhile in the civilian section of the libraries.

Knowledge was power and ninja hoarded power like a dragon hoarded gold.

Toji suppressed a shudder when a particularly painful ache shot through his arms and legs. He was with Naruto at a park closer to the center of the village. The matron's regularly kicked children out for a few hours a day so they could get cleaning done and the two had decided to take a day off to explore the village.

Well it was more Naruto's idea. Toji would have preferred to practice dodging by throwing rocks at each other. However Naruto was a restless ball of energy on his good days and a downright menace on his worst. He had a penchant for playing pranks on people when he was bored, and while Toji enjoyed seeing the kids in the orphanage be victims to Naruto's ideas, he absolutely hated it when Naruto decided to make Toji the target.

He could only take so many fart cushion pranks before he lost his patience and killed Naruto.

Right now the two of them were sitting in a sand pit and Naruto had a stick in his hands as he tried to explain a new idea he had for a prank. Naruto seemed fine with the cold breeze that occasionally broke through the tree cover, but Toji had a permanent scowl on his face, hidden behind the scarf that was bundled around his neck. Not only were his bones aching, but there was a headache building behind his eyes.

He remembered having constant headaches in his past life, usually followed by some sense of sharpening. From the way his sight kept losing focus and then coming back, he suspected it was his vision. Along with hearing and smell, it was one of the most used of the five senses. And usually the first that caused him pain.

"So I've thought about different pranks that would be good to pull on ninja. You know, to get recognized more. It can't be anything physically annoying or damaging, cause then we'd probably get in trouble." Naruto drew an x over the image of a stick figure tripping on a banana peel with his stick. "So I was thinking about painting funny stuff in places ninja wouldn't expect. Like on the hokage tower, or the genin barracks, or the faces on the mountain."

Toji thought pranks were a waste of time, but could see the potential in the stealth applications. Naruto was also a surprisingly good strategist. Though right now it was only potential. The blonde had a surprisingly keen mind and made connections fast. All good things that would keep someone alive in a fight.

"I still think it's stupid, but I wouldn't mind getting one up on some lazy ninja." Especially the ones he saw looking the other way when Naruto was being targeted by more violent drunks. Naruto had been faster than all of them until now, but Toji didn't like taking chances. He knew if they were ninja and not civilians, Naruto wouldn't have been so lucky. But from what Toji could tell, there was a reason for that. Like a rule or something. Or a law.

He could see the way ninja held each other back when one of their own leaked a bit of killing intent around Naruto. Naruto never seemed to notice, but Toji knew the feeling quite intimately. They had every intention to come after Naruto with the intent to kill. It was only some unknown repercussion that held them back.

The pieces were there, but not enough that Toji could put it all together yet.

"Hmmmm." Naruto tapped the stick against his head. "If we're going after lazy ninjas, that's the career genin. There's no lazier ninja than a ninja who gave up progressing through the ranks."

Toji would have continued to listen to Naruto ramble on about different ideas, but his attention was drawn away from him at the sudden silence around them. There was no wind and the sound of birds and bugs had stopped. Something wasn't right.

"Naruto."

"Hmm?" Naruto looked up at Toji and got nervous when he noticed his friend was looking up at the trees around them. Suddenly feeling nervous as well, Naruto stood up to get closer to Toji. Toji was quick to stand up as well and stick close to his blonde friend.

"We need to get out of here." Toji was scanning the line of trees that he could feel bloodlust coming from.

Toji wasn't a stranger to danger, but he didn't think he'd have to worry about it so soon in a village like Konoha. Picking a sharp whistling sound, Toji reacted and pushed both Naruto and himself to the ground. Sure enough, kunai had flown at them and were now embedded in the ground a few feet behind them.

Quickly calculating the direction they had flown from, Toji pushed himself up and dragged Naruto with him. "Run!"

They only got a few feet away before a man appeared in front of them and kicked Toji to the side. The strength behind it was violent enough to send Toji flipping through the air until he skidded violently on the dirt undergrowth of the surrounding forest around them. His breathing was labored and he was sure he had a cracked rib as he pushed himself to his elbows and knees.

The right side of his face burned and he could feel blood over his right eye (probably hit his head) but he could clearly see the man that was holding Naruto by his throat. His friend's small hands were clawing at the wrist that held him but the man didn't even pay attention to it.

Cursing Toji tried to think fast. There wasn't much time and he was just a small kid, but there had to be something he could do.

He was weak and had no way to beat a stronger opponent. He knew that. The only thing he could do was try and delay him until someone stronger came along. Because going by the symbol on the man's forehead protector, he wasn't a konoha ninja. The symbol on it was a cloud, not the konoha leaf.

Looking down at the only weapon he had, Toji clawed his hands in the dirt beneath him and pushed himself to his feet. He grit his teeth as his ribs grinded painfully at the break, but he ignored it as he ran at the ninja with an angry roar.

"Oh?" The kumo-nin sounded amused. "Back for round two?"

The kumo-nin was relaxed and clearly didn't think Toji was a threat and that was all the opportunity he needed. Quickly swinging his clenched fist, Toji threw the dirt into the kumo-nin's exposed eyes, the only patch of skin that wasn't covered by a face mask.

The nin cursed as his eyes closed on reflex, chunks of dirt and gravel momentarily blinding him. Toji wasted no time in taking advantage of the opening, sending the strongest kick he could muster straight up into the man's kneecap. It didn't give as much as he hoped, but he still thought he heard a sharp crack as his heel made contact.

"Fucking brat!"

The man dropped Naruto on instinct as he brought one hand up to clear his eyes and the other to grab a kunai from a hip holster. Toji's instincts screamed at him and he dropped like dead weight to try and dodge the slash the man intended to kill him with. The sharp tip of the kunai sliced over his lips and up his cheek as it barely missed his eye. It stung intensely as he landed on his back in the dirt, scooting back and over towards Naruto.

His blonde friend was still coughing and his eyes were screwed shut in pain but his hand grabbed at Toji when his body bumped into him. Toji knew now would be the time to run but his chest still hurt immensely and Naruto clearly needed time to catch his breath. And the kumo-nin was already limping towards them.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you, brat."

He didn't think another fist full of dirt would work again and was considering how hard it would be to steal the kunai from the man's grip when a handful of shuriken flew through the air and pierced the man's side. The kumo-nin let out a choked cry and Toji watched the blood fly through the air as the man fell to the ground.

He hadn't been down for more than two seconds before another ninja with a white facemask landed just above him and stabbed him in the neck. Toji only heard the choked gurgly cry of the kumo-nin before the kunai was twisted and it cut off. Dead.

The ninja wiped the kunai off on his pant leg before sliding it back in a holster. The mask then turned to the two of them and Toji tensed. He didn't sense any killing intent, and he could faintly smell the familiar scent of trees and fire, so he knew this had to be one of their own konoha-nin.

The ninja walked over to them before he crouched down. "I'm going to take you somewhere safe. Don't move too much." His facemask was painted in the character of a wolf and his voice was calm and smooth. Toji nodded as best he could with his cut cheek.

Neither of them struggled as they were picked up in an arm each. Naruto's hand was still clenched in the cloth of Toji's shirt as the masked ninja carried them away.

~cosmic jokes suck~

Toji was silent as a nurse in the hospital wiped at the cut on his lip. Naruto and he had been separated as they were taken to different rooms to be treated. Most likely because Toji was a little worse off than Naruto. The first nurse that had sent healing chakra through his body had flinched physically before staring at him in horror and running out of the room. He remembered hearing a commotion before another nurse came in and ran a chakra coated hand over his body.

There was a lot of whispering and he remembered hearing some words about his chakra system before they had left again. Now he had a different nurse gently dabbing at the cut on his lips to clean off the dirt in it.

Feeling the sting of the disinfectant on his lips, Toji thought about the cosmic joke that was his new life. He had no doubt once the cut healed and scarred it would look exactly as the original. Perhaps the feature was so ingrained into the identity of his soul that he'd always carry it through whatever life he lived. But what did he know?

Toji had been resigned to a boring stay at the hospital before his door opened and a blonde head poked in. "Toji!" Smiling at the blonde head of hair, Toji had been about to greet his friend before another person walked in behind him. Toji would recognize the man anywhere. It was the hokage.

Silent now that such a powerful ninja was in the same room with him, Toji debated why the leader of the village was in his hospital room. He wasn't worth that much attention? Was he? His attention was drawn back to Naruto as he jumped up on his hospital bed to sit next to him.

"You're okay! Man, that was scary. Oh wow, that's a badass cut on your lip."

Toji was facing Naruto but he was scowling as he side eyed the hokage. He didn't know what the fuck the old man wanted but Toji knew from past experience to never trust old men who tried to look harmless. Especially from the man who was supposed to be the strongest ninja in the village.

"Oh yeah! Toji this is hokage-jiji, I told him about how you were my friend and how cool you were and he said he wanted to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you, Toji. How are you feeling?"

The hokage's presence was heavy and smokey and he smelled like steel and old blood.

"Fine." He mumbled out. Everything about the hokage's presence unsettled him. It reminded him of how it felt to be around the Zen'in clan members when he was still a child. Weak and useless.

"I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to thank you. If not for you then the kumo-nin might have gotten away with Naruto."

Naruto shifted guiltily on the bed next to him. It wasn't the blonde's fault so he had no idea why the brat was feeling guilty.

"Whatever." He grumbled. "I'm just mad I couldn't hurt him more."

"Hmm, yes. You did quite well for your age. Am I wrong in assuming you plan to sign up for the academy?"

"Of course he does, jiji!" Naruto looked at the hokage like he was mad. "We've been training together and we're gonna be the strongest ninja ever! I'm gonna be hokage and he's gonna be–gonna be–" Naruto looked confused as he furrowed his brows "-what's the second strongest thing after Hokage?"

Toji shrugged. "Sannin? The history books said they were super strong. There were only three."

"What's a sannin?"

"Sannin is a term that means the legendary three." The Hokage began. "It was a name that was given to three ninjas who contributed greatly to the second shinobi war. Only two of them are still left, Jiraiya and Tsunade. Each has gone their own ways. Being a sannin means to be strong enough to be written into legend."

Toji thought it sounded good enough. He wouldn't allow himself to be anything less than legendary.

"I'll be that then."

Naruto was bouncing on the bed and pointed at the hokage.

"See I told you! We're gonna be awesome!"

"It's a promise then." The hokage had a thoughtful look on his face before he started grinning. Toji didn't like it and his face said so. The hokage laughed at the look of suspicion on such a young face.

"How about a deal? Promise to become a name the village can be proud of and I'll personally sponsor your entry into the academy. It would be hard for someone without funding to enter."

Toji scowled. He knew there were scholarship programs for orphans who wanted to become ninja. When it didn't seem like Toji would agree, the hokage continued.

"I'll even provide funding for a small place of your own during your schooling. I will be doing the same for Naruto. Does that sound better?"

The furrow in Toji's brow smoothed out and he suddenly really liked the idea. Finally being able to get away from whiney babies and stupid women?

"Deal."

It seemed like things were starting to finally come together. Now if only he could make time go faster so he could hurry up and graduate.

~cosmic jokes suck~