Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.
Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. There is also references to canon & canon typical child abuse along with misuse of a trope-verse ability. Oh, and parenting advice that is not good but sadly common. Feel free to back out if need be.
Author's Note: This fic got away from me and didn't end up going where I was planning. Mostly because I never got out of the kitchen with it. Combining the tropes about omegas having biological needs for pack bonding & nesting with the Dursleys' A-Plus Parenting was harder to write than I anticipated and I just needed to get the fic out. Also, fair warning: Andromeda will have some 'plaining to do if I ever pick up this 'verse again, because yes, that is the Alpha Voice trope that she keeps using.
Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 16); MC4A (Year 5)
Individual Challenges: Red Dress; Red Lights; Red Bull; Red & Gold; Red Wave (Y); Bi Rainbow; Rainbow Rainbow; Missing Rainbow; Gryffindor MC; Ravenclaw MC; Magical MC (x3); Neurodivergent; Rian-Russo Inversion (x2); Ethnic & Present; Small Fry; Claimed; Disabled; Hold the Mayo; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Alpha & Omega; Long Haul; Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Green Ribbon
House: Slytherin
Assignment No.: Term 16 – Assignment 10
Subject (Task No.): Brewing & Distilling (Task#4: Write a fic with a canon mother as the main character.)
Other Hogwarts Challenges: 365 [286](Permission); 1000 Prompts Challenge [916](Omegaverse); Character Collection [F206](Andromeda Black Tonks); Hogwarts Gardens [Seating 13](Lavender)
Other MC4A Challenges: SpB [1A](Butterfly/Moth); TrB [5E](Blessed with Suck); Chim [Citru] (Omegaverse AU; "The Village" - Wrabel; Violet);Hunt [Sp Set (Kitchen); Sp Con (Milk; Roll/Breadstick); Sp Items (Planter; Ribbon/Cord)];
Representation(s): Desi & Autistic Harry Potter & Andromeda Black Tonks; Harry Raises Teddy; Omegaverse Trope Illnesses; Chim Song Prompt
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Mother Hen; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow's Shade; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; White Dress; Found Family; Nontraditional; Sneeze Weasel; Teat Juice); Chorus (Pear-Shaped; Pocky Pockets; Wabi Sabi)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: Once (Moses Supposes; Santa Fe); T3 (Tether); SN (Rail; Spare)
Word Count: 3873 words
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Something Wrong
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Harry never needed much to get by. He was used to existing on the bare minimum, sometimes even less than that. Most of the time, he didn't even notice when he was missing something others might think vital because the habit to not focus on what he didn't have was so ingrained in him. It didn't hurt if he didn't focus on it, and if it didn't hurt, then it must not truly be important.
That had gotten him through his childhood when it seemed like he had next to nothing but desires that made him feel like he had ants crawling about under his skin. He could survive being on the outside of all the groups around him. He could survive the ache that went along with it. He could keep from crying whenever one of the Dursleys realized that he had too many soft things in his cupboard again and thus had to forced to throw away the extras again. He was never strong enough to truly stop himself from starting the hoard all over again afterwards, but he survived each purge and accompanying beating. It had hurt, but he could manage, so it must not truly be necessary.
All of that had been good training for his years at Hogwarts, too. By then, Harry had been used to being set aside unless he was making himself useful in whatever way people needed him to be at that time. Being used to that and the ever-present feeling of malaise had gotten him through the war and all the terrible things that included.
The only good thing about that time period was how much easier it had been to control the compulsion to hoard soft things. He would catch himself amassing a collection before it got out of hand. Sometimes, he could even stop himself from taking the item in the first place. The only being that had ever caused any problems with Harry's tenuous control at all had been Dobby with his obsessive habit of finding the softest materials for his gifts. Harry thought it might even be a house elf trait, because Winky and Kreacher seem to have a more subtle version of it once they had decided that taking care of Harry was something they wanted to do.
Not needing much had also gotten Harry through the months of sudden parenthood when everything had been about the little life that had been entrusted to him (and through him, the two elves who seemed just as attached as Dobby had ever been, though thankfully less prone to overenthusiasm). Being used to the ever-present nausea and ache in his joints had even gotten him through his friends pulling away as they focused on their own lives and healing.
The stubborn determination he had learned from those years had gotten him through all the battle of wills with Mrs. Weasley over the proper way to care for Teddy. Harry knew that she probably meant well. It was just that Teddy wasn't one of her children, and there were things that came along with having the parents that he did. Mrs. Weasley wasn't the one that Remus had wanted to raise his child. And in the quiet of his mind, Harry understood why Remus wouldn't have.
Most of Mrs. Weasley's advice made sense. It was reasonable even, to a certain point. But some of it was not. In fact, some of it bordered on outright cruel or at the very least, harmful. Teddy wasn't a werewolf like Remus had been, because it wasn't passed that way. That didn't mean that there wasn't a lasting impact of that heritage. Teddy was simply more sensitive to things than other children, and no matter what Mrs. Weasley advised about the need to make Teddy adapt by constant exposure, Harry simply couldn't bring himself to do it.
And there was no way that Harry would ever let Teddy just cry alone until he fell asleep or not pick him up whenever the growing child indicated the desire to be held. If that ended up with Teddy being spoiled, then Harry would figure out a way to deal that. Harry sincerely doubted that providing Teddy with all the love his parents would have wanted was going turn Teddy into anything close to Dudley.
The near constant reminders that Harry was young and should be in school with other people his age dug into his mind like nettle did his skin. To do that, he would have to give Teddy to someone else for the year. Harry knew that both Andromeda and Mrs. Weasley would have been willing to do just that, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it for various reasons.
Andromeda would have been disappointed. She might not have said so. She might have even have agreed it was a good idea. In the past few months, she had even welcomed Harry to stay with her at Stone End while he figured things out, saving him from having to choose between the Burrow (with Mrs. Weasley's endless critiques) and Grimmauld Place (with its endless memories). But grandson or not, Andromeda was distant and not a cuddler.
Teddy loved being tucked into the soft sling that Harry had found in the nursery. The lavender cotton was covered with violet butterflies and royal purple flowers with sunshine yellow centers. Despite the multitude of charms embedded in the fabric, the design had not been animated like a lot wizarding cloth tended to be. That allowed Harry to keep the infant close to his heart even while running errands in the nearby village. To be honest, Teddy spent most of his time in the sling, only being removed for necessities.
That was yet another of Harry's parenting choices that Mrs. Weasley didn't approve of. But as much as it soothed the old ache of abandonment in Harry, he was equally determined that Teddy was never going to feel like that, not when the solution was so simple. That disapproval was the main reason why Harry would never be comfortable with Mrs. Weasley watching Teddy for longer than a few hours at a time.
Just because Harry was used to getting by with next to nothing, it didn't mean that Teddy should be forced to as well.
As Harry's eighteenth birthday approached, he felt like the restless ants crawling beneath his skin were threatening to erupt. Like he sensed the change, Teddy grew even more clingy, not even accepting being put in his crib at night. Andromeda had taken to watching Harry with the same vague wariness that Neville and Seamus had used during fifth year and most of sixth year. Just like back then, it didn't help Harry's mood any.
Unlike his former dorm mates, Andromeda had no qualms with sitting Harry down at the kitchen table with its little collection of planters in the center. Each planter had a ribbon tied around it with the name of the cooking herb growing in the pot. Andromeda had provided a tea spread for the two of them and a bottle of prepared goat's milk for Teddy, should the boy wake up from his nap in the sling. She took her time preparing her tea. The knot of the bright red tichel she was wearing that day seemed to bounce with the tiny motions necessary. Nervous, Harry tore a dinner roll into pieces as he waited for her to get around to announcing that she wanted him to leave. Maybe he'd get lucky and she wouldn't force him to leave Teddy behind.
Andromeda wasn't antagonistic like Aunt Petunia, of course, but her natural distance could still hurt Teddy. Abandoning the demolished roll, Harry curled his arms around the infant already pressed against his chest. Maybe he'd be allowed to visit, if he wasn't allowed to take his godson with him.
"When was your last heat?" Andromeda asked. Harry blinked at her in confusion. Andromeda's stoic expression faded into a growing frown as she assessed something either in his expression or his body language. Harry felt his stomach twist in the way that it always did when he was waiting for punishment. "You're not in trouble, Harry. I'm aware that it may have been a while."
"I don't understand," Harry admitted in a quiet voice. A series of alarms were blaring in the back of his mind, like a dozen different memories were trying to demand his attention at once. Teddy fidgeted restlessly against Harry's chest, his little hands clenching the fabric of Harry's shirt.
"Stress can affect the heat cycle," Andromeda replied, as if that was any kind of explanation. Harry dropped his gaze to the pots in the center of the table. Unconsciously, he tightened his arms around Teddy, prompting the infant to let out a sleepy whine of protest. Harry loosened his hold immediately, though he could still feel Andromeda watching him closely.
This conversation wasn't making much sense, but he didn't think he could handle repeating himself and still not getting anything clarified. Sure, Andromeda had said that he wasn't in trouble, but a lifetime of dealing with Aunt Petunia, Ron, and Hermione had taught him that he didn't need to be in order to be snapped at or talked down to. Normally, that wouldn't matter, but he had Teddy on him. No matter how young and unlikely to remember it, Harry didn't want to expose his godson to that, not if he could prevent it.
"Harry," Andromeda said with a quiet carefulness, "you have had a heat before, right?" Harry opened his mouth to answer before realizing that he had no way of answering it. A tense moment of silence grew like brambles in the kitchen. Andromeda sounded like she couldn't believe her own words as she cut through it. "Do you know what a heat is?"
"I…"
"Do you know what an omega is?"
"I'm guessing not the Greek letter?"
"No," Andromeda agreed. Harry risked a glance at her face. She had a small smile quirking the edges of her thin lips. Her dark gray eyes twinkled like Sirius' used to the rare times Harry had seen him happy. Then she adopted a more serious expression and Harry dropped his gaze again. "I would infer from your ignorance about what an omega is, you are also unaware that you are one and have either never had a heat or only very mild ones."
Harry opted to not say anything. He still had no idea what a heat was. That hadn't changed in the last minute. Whatever an omega was, it must involve them in some way. Andromeda was also seemed convinced that Harry was one, which he could neither deny nor confirm without knowing more.
"I'm going to ask you some questions, Harry," Andromeda continued in that same careful tone from before. She rotated her mug slightly, just a perfect eighth of a turn. Even her nervous fidgeting was controlled. "There are no wrong answers. Just answer as best you can and tell the truth. Understand?"
"I understand."
"You're close with Ron and Hermione. How often did you cuddle with them before moving in with me?"
"We didn't? Hermione hugged me a few times, but we didn't cuddle."
"And what about the youngest Weasley? Ginevra? You dated for a time. Did you cuddle with her?"
"Ginny, and no, not really a lot of cuddling. Mostly, she just wanted to—"
"What did she want to do?" The silence sprouted again. "And remember that there are no wrong answers. Just tell the truth."
"Snog," Harry answered, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. If he had been as pale as Andromeda, his cheeks would be matching Ron's hair. "Ginny mostly wanted to snog. I didn't—I mean, it wasn't horrible or anything. Sometimes it was even kind of… nice."
"When the itchiness went away," Andromeda said, and Harry was nodding before he processed that he hadn't mentioned anything about that feeling. Her face was a blank mask when he focused on it. Her voice was just as even and matter of fact. "It didn't help with the achy bones—" Her gaze sharpened as it moved over his face and shoulders to the arms he had wrapped around Teddy. "—or the digestive issues. Nausea, I'm betting, being the main one."
"How, how did you—"
"How did I know?" Andromeda rotated her cup again, another perfect eighth. Harry nodded. "It's all part of a thing that can happen to omegas, when their needs are not adequately met." A frown broke through her stoic expression. "It typically takes years to reach the degree that it becomes symptomatic, even under the added stress of the last few years. When did you first started feeling that way?"
"What way?" Harry asked to buy himself time. No matter how even-tempered Andromeda was being, Harry wasn't entirely certain that she would keep it up when she realized just how broken he apparently was. Would she make him leave? Maybe this meant that he wasn't as good for Teddy as he had been thinking. Would she force him to leave Teddy behind? He couldn't leave Teddy behind. Remus had chosen Harry, and Harry was determined that Teddy would never feel like he was unwanted or a burden.
"Calm," Andromeda ordered in the same inflection that she used to make the laundry fold itself. Harry felt the anxiously racing thoughts starting to follow the command. His stomach still roiled in the threatening way that left a sour taste in his mouth. Andromeda's frown had grown steadily while Harry's thoughts had chased each other. Her voice kept the same edge when she continued. "Tell me what you were just thinking about."
"Teddy," Harry answered, without fully thinking about it. He frowned at the confession he had been meaning to keep. Something tickled the outer fringe of his mind, pushing him to continue to explain what he meant. It felt different from the false warmth of the Imperius but just as foreign. He shook his head to clear it of the compulsion. "What, what, what—"
"No one is going to separate you and Teddy," Andromeda promised while ignoring the question that Harry was struggling to articulate. "No one is going take him away or harm him."
A part of him just knew that it was a coincidence that the compulsion had been to do what she had just told him to do, despite the different feeling and how she didn't use her wand to cast anything. (Maybe the cup thing wasn't a fidget?) That part wanted to bundle up Teddy and hide someplace where Harry could easily defend them. Maybe somewhere small, but not a cupboard. Teddy didn't deserve to be in a cupboard.
Another part wanted to believe that Andromeda could be trusted. She hadn't harmed them, and the one way that Harry was worried about would be negated if he was around as well. She was strong, having survived both wars despite the grief that should have crushed her. She was fierce and loyal and loved Teddy. She had taken Harry in and had not argued about how well he could take care of Teddy. She was a good protector.
Which was a very strange thought to have.
"What," Harry tried again. The sour taste in his mouth was getting thicker. He needed to—He needed to do something, but he couldn't think clearly enough to determine what anymore. He was taking a deep gulp of air before he recognized that Andromeda had told him to breathe in that strange tone. He took another one, because it helped, not because the lingering compulsion told him to.
"I did not realize just how serious the situation was," Andromeda said on the other side of the fog wrapped around Harry's mind. He tried to focus on her, but it was like she was on the other side of a tunnel instead of simply across the table from him. "Harry, I need you to show me where your nest is."
"Nest?" Harry asked, confused but muddled enough to not be embarrassed about that fact. Teddy let a fussy whine as he rubbed his lips with one tiny fist. Operating on muscle memory and instinct, Harry shifted the baby even as he reached for the prepared bottle on the table. Teddy didn't bother waking up further as he latched onto the nipple and began to suck hungrily.
"Yes," Andromeda agreed, "where you keep your collection of soft things. Where's your nest, Harry?"
"But—" Harry swallowed about the protest and with it, the sudden urge to cry. He watched Teddy eating for a moment. If it meant getting to stay with his godson, Harry would gladly destroy his small collection a hundred times over. Teddy was worth it, more than. It was just that… "Some of it is for Teddy."
"Yes?" Andromeda said, sounding confused about why that would matter. Harry swallowed again unable to force himself to look up at her like he should if he wanted to have her believe that he was telling the truth and not just trying to avoid getting rid of all of the mess.
"Can, can I—I mean, can he keep it?" Harry couldn't quite keep his voice from trying to fade into nothing as he braced for the negative reaction his question was sure to garner. He tried to make it stronger as he rushed on. He had to get permission for Teddy to keep the things that Harry had stashed away for him. "I promise that I won't argue about the rest, but please, please let him have the other stuff."
"Harry, look at me." She waited until he raised his eyes to meet hers. The normally unshakable woman made a visible jerk backwards as their eyes met. Bile filled his mouth at the action, his nausea made worse by not knowing what he did to surprise her like that. "What do you think I'm going to do to your nest?"
Harry felt his eyes widen in surprise of his own. Just as quickly as it had washed over him, the shock was replaced by defeat. Aunt Petunia had liked to play this game, too. She would make Harry recite the rules and expectations surrounding situations. Then when it came time for punishment because Harry inevitably messed up, Aunt Petunia would have him tell her how he was going to be punished along with what he had done to earn the punishment. He hadn't thought that Andromeda would do the same thing, but maybe it really was just as normal as Aunt Petunia always said it was.
He could feel his eyes prickling at yet another reminder of how much people didn't make sense to him. It shouldn't feel like a betrayal. After all, it didn't matter that he didn't understand whatever it was that he had done to earn punishment. He just had to accept it. He could endure it. He could even get by without the collection, especially if he could convince Andromeda to let Teddy keep the baby things in it.
"Harry?" Andromeda asked, startling him out of his spiraling thoughts. Harry dropped his gaze back to the baby curled against him. "No wrong answers, remember? Just answer as best you can and tell the truth. What do you think I'm going to do to your nest?"
"You're going to make me destroy it," Harry whispered. The words slipped out without his permission. It felt like they were pressed out of him by the weird pressure that accompanied the way Andromeda spoke. Harry shook his head, distress growing as he fought against the foreign feeling. The urge to hide somewhere was growing as well.
"Why would I do that?" Andromeda asked in a shocked voice. "Why would you let me?"
"Punishments are always worse if I fight," Harry answered as his gaze darted around the room. Something wasn't right. It wasn't wrong, exactly, but it definitely wasn't right. He had to get Teddy somewhere safe. "I can't take of Teddy if I'm hurt."
"Harry," she said as if there was a weight to his name that she was being crushed by. Then she sniffed once and took a slow but deep breath. As she let it out just as slowly, she rotated her cup a full half turn. When she spoke, her voice was once again steady and strong. "I know that you probably don't believe me, but I would never do that. Omegas need their nests, just like they need other things like physical touch and affirmations from their packs. Not having those things can make them very sick."
"Maybe I'm not one."
"Oh, Harry," Andromeda said, once more sounding like she was breaking under a heavy weight. "You definitely are an omega. Even if I didn't know what signs to look for, I can smell it on you."
"Smell? How can you…?"
"I'm, well, I'm the opposite of an omega. I'm an alpha. One of things it gives me is an improved sense of smell with extra sensitivity to the various scents omegas produce."
"Is that what I did to earn punishment?" Harry asked in a very small voice. His shoulders were hunched forward, ready to protect his precious bundle from the reaction to his daring. As long as he could protect Teddy, he could endure anything. Andromeda made another one of those overly deliberate breaths, this time without rotating her mug.
"I was going to send you and Teddy to your nest," she said in a tone so even that it was almost monotone. The lack of inflection soothed the part of him that was urging him to hide somewhere. "Since omegas tend to hide their nests, I was asking where yours was so that I could bring you necessary supplies for you and Teddy. I also had the vague notion to bring in a healer to check you over. I recognize now that neither of those things will be possible."
"Sorry," Harry muttered. His heart pounded in his chest which felt like it had bands around it. He kept his eyes on Teddy as he struggled to breathe under the constriction. He just wanted to take his godson and run somewhere that not even Andromeda could find them. The part of him that insisted that Andromeda would be a good protector (still a weird thought to have) was being drowned out by the growing need to hide. As if sensing Harry's spiraling thoughts (and maybe she was, since she had said she could smell him), Andromeda let out a deep sigh.
"Don't apologize," she said in a soft voice, no trace of the weird tone that pushed him to obey. The lack loosened the bands around his chest a bit. "It is not your fault. Someone hurt you for a very long time, and a few months of friendly interaction is not enough to counter that. That's only natural."
Harry dared to lift his gaze to meet hers again.
"We'll get through your heat," Andromeda promised, "and then we'll start working on the rest. It will be fine."
Even with his instincts screaming conflicting messages at him, Harry believed her.
